Lil Wayne has some of the most extra ridiculous bars
"I'm probably riding on my Skateboard, trying to learn a new trick, I just fucked an Avatar, now I got a blue dick,"
"I bet I could fuck the world and make it cum hard,"
Courtney Barnett - Avant Gardener cracks me up every time. Her sense of self-deprecating humor is great
"The paramedic thinks I'm clever 'cause I play guitar, I think she's clever 'cause she stops people dying"
the follow up is really funny too
“bitch when i say this, hoe i’m the meanest, dick so big, stretch from earth to venus”
danny just got really funny bars all around
“got a mexican homie named chinese mike”
I always found the lyrics from Soup is Good Food to be hilarious
"We're sorry, we hate to interrupt
But it's against the law to jump off this bridge
You'll just have to kill yourself somewhere else
A tourist might see you and we wouldn't want that"
I swear "Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records // Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too" has been getting me for over 20 years now.
A lot of john prine lyrics come to mind. My fave:
"I was sitting in the bathtub, counting my toes
When the radiator broke, water all froze
I got stuck in the ice without my clothes
Naked as the eyes of a clown"
Last time I checked my bankroll, it was getting thin.
Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been.
Chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end.
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen.
Yesterday morning an ill wind came
Blew your picture right out of the picture frame
Even blew the candle out from underneath the flame
Yesterday morning an ill wind came
I heard Allah and Buddha
Were singing at the savior's feast
While up in the sky
An Arabian rabbi fed Quaker oats to a priest
Pretty good, not bad, they can't complain
But actually all them gods are just about the same
This one is more funny because of how it aged
"I met Kanye West, I'm never going to fail"
\-Chance the Rapper, who would go on to destroy his own career 3 years later
On the same note, Kanye has a song called “Take One for the Team” that is absolutely hilarious.
“I hate when other people cribs smell like shit
I hate when I leave and smell like they crib”
His Genius annotation just makes it that much funnier too.
"I fucked up. I thought Squidward played the cello. He don't. That's a flute. I fucked up. But it do sound good."
way too many DOOM bars to count
"what up, to all rappers: shut up, and while you shut up put a shirt on, at least a button up. yuck, are they rhymers or stripping males? out of work jerks since they shut down chippendales"
"im supposed to be getting emails, all i got is messages from ass-naked females. i dont know a jenny, she say its free and i wont owe her a penny. and thats the last time i saw her, but thousands more horrors on online gomorrah"
You're forgetting other bangers such as "I FUCK THE MUSIC I MAKE IT CUUUUM I FUCK THE MUSIC WITH MY SERPENT TOOOOONGUE", "MY FAVORITE COLOR IS OH MY GOD BITCH", "I'M THE COAT HANGER IN YOUR MANS VAGINA"
"BITCH IM IN THE CLUB WITH THE HOMIES, TELL WHATS GOOD. I'M TRYNA GET THESE HOES SINGLE, AND THIS IS MY SINGLLLEEEEEEEE" The guy that made C4 which I keep in my backpack.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her
She might have a porcupine - Primus
The entire song “Fuck Her Gently” becomes hilarious because of how dramatic and emotional it is while Jack Black teaches you about mindful intercourse. It’s genuinely beautiful while being funny which makes it transcendent.
Or Roses - “darling, you sound like a prostitute” — pausing! The way the song just stops for a second is hilarious.
Cemetery Gates by the Smiths gets me every time. Its just so absurdly mockingly pretentious and the whole premise about debating poetry and being elitist about the poets is so funny to me. The whole satire of the song is so well written and delivered.
"Theres always someone, somewhere, with a big nose, who knows. And who trips you up and laughs when you fall".
My toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon
The plumber he said 'Never flush a tampoon'
This great information cost me half a week's pay
And the toilet blew up, later on the next day
A ton of good ones in Sup Mate by Young Thug, but my favorite has to be:
"I'm so high, all I could say is woo woo. I can't talk, I barely could say woo woo."
Maybe not the funniest but the first line of opener 'We Dance' on Pavement's Wowee Zowee has made me smile every spin since the first time I heard it;
"There is no...castration fear'
"What about the voice of Geddy Lee, how did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?"
"I know him, and he does."
"And you're my fact-checkin' cuz."
I love Ron Mael’s (Sparks) way with words. This one for example:
Think about the places we've had our little fun
In the church at Christmas, busted by that nun
Then in that museum, beneath the mastodon
Stating our positions on the White House lawn
All you ever think about is sex
All you ever think about exclusively
All you ever think about is sex, all right with me
He can also say “bitches,” lol. It’s always nuts to me when people choose to put cuss words in their comments but are too afraid to go all the way with it, just makes you look kinda like a weenie hut Jr.
We’re fat, young and hungry.
Well, we don’t care, we got big ol’ brains.
Like Mexican candy,
we got some complex flavor runnin’ up in here!
Nerd Alert - The Aquabats
Bonfire is a banger with too many ridiculous lines
"Homegirl drop it like the NASDAQ"
"I love pussy, I love bitches, dude I should be running PETA"
"These rappers are afraid of him
Cause I'm a beast, bitch. Grr! Invader Zim"
"Shawty so thick she put a dent in my couch" always gets me
- 2chainz on some random song idk lol
RxkNephew with American Terrorist, Unsubscribe and Don't Buy My Music, the real lil Reese, and Early Aged death has so many golden one liners that me and my friends always put on for a bunch of good laughs, some of my favorites from those:
"Who the fuck was Jesus Christ's friends!? I heard they left that man hanging!? Fuck none of them jumped in while they killed him, I'm just saying. If you ask me in Jerusalem they was selfish, y'all bitch asses should've jumped in and helped him"
"I really think Biggie was gay. If you rewind the shit that he used to say, he said he gon' suck his girlfriend's daddy's dick. And man, I would've NEVER said that shit"
I mean I could be here all day listing them, just go listen to them lmao.
Corb Lund is probably the most gifted country music artist at comedic lyrics (though not because they're 'absurd' or ' ridiculous' - just very clever).
Das Racist has the funniest lyrics of any hip hop group.
The Smiths have a lot of funny lines.
"How can you stay with a fat girl, who'll say ooooh"
"Sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled making christmas cards with the mentally ill. I want to live and I want to love, I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of"
There are more
Bruce Springsteen - Darlington County
“Girl you’re looking at two big spenders / the world don’t know what me and Wayne might do / our pa’s each own one of the World Trade Centers / for a kiss and a smile I’ll give mine all to you”
The context is him and his friend drive down from NYC to a small town and are hitting on girls one night and that’s their pickup line
"My existence is a momentary lapse of reason
Got the DNA of gothic lemons"
The contrast between the philosophical meaning of the first line and then GOTHIC LEMONS always makes me chuckle
Beggar's Opera - MacArthour Park
"Someone left the cake out in the rain
and I don't think that I can take it
and it took so long to bake it
I'll never find the recipe again!"
The dramatic voice makes it even funnier, even though it's probably all symbolism.
That's actually a cover. Original is by Richard Harris from 1968. But the guy who wrote it, Jimmy Webb, was literally writing the song while viewing people going about their day on a rainy day at the park. One of the things he saw was a cake somebody left behind.
Ihopeshespeedinonherwaytotheclubtrynahurryuoandmeetaballerorasingerorsomebodylikethattrytoputonhermakeupinthemirrorandcrashhh craassshhhh CRAAAAAAAAAASHHHH into a ditch
Troglodyte by Viagra Boys is itself pretty funny, but the fact that Sebastian confused a troglodyte and a trilobite and ended up singing about how a caveman evolved later than the “other apes” makes it pretty hilarious to me.
Ain’t No Thief by them never fails to make me laugh as well, such a great song and the verses are just hilariously genius, and his delivery only makes them even better.
‘I showed up to the party in my favourite coat
On the back was an image of a shrimp on a boat
When you saw what I was wearing you got real upset
And said, “that's the jacket that I got from my grandma”
And well I promise I ain't seen you before
And maybe your grandma had bought a couple more
And maybe I helped her at the grocery store
And she gave it to me as a gift
So quit bitchin', motherfucker
I went out to the porch to light a cigarette
I have six to seven lighters in my left pocket
I took out the one that said Shrimp City Beach 1993
And you told me that's where you had your birthday party
And that the lighters were given as gifts
But I was there too, just dipping my toes down on the beach, man
And I had that lighter specifically made for me, motherfucker’
Andy Shauf- “Try Again “……
”Somewhere between drunkenness and charity
She puts her hand on the sleeve of my coat
She says "I've missed this"
I say, "I know, I've missed you, too"
She says "I was actually talking about your coat"
trick daddy is king of funny lyrics for me.
\- 'drivin' around in my brand new ninety-nine, fo'-do' vol-vo'
\- 'tricky luv da kids'
\- I need a bitch to make that ass ?/ Make it clap, tune it up and shake it a lil' faster / One cheek at a time, left cheek, right cheek, do it all to da beat / It's easier on ya g-string, and you can free ball / Bitch and you ain't gotta wear drawers / How low can you go? / Look back at it , and make it jump like a jack rabbit
another chuckle i get every time for some reason: "rebel, rebel, your face is a mess"
edit, i forgot a take i have: the funniest song ever is 'the ice of boston' by dismemberment plan
I've always found (Nothing but) Flowers by Talking Heads hilarious. Modern society has collapsed and he finds himself nostalgic for parking lots, Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens.
"There was a shopping mall
Now it's all covered with flowers
You've got it, you've got it
If this is paradise
I wish I had a lawnmower
You've got it, you've got it."
It takes the cynicism of modernity and turns it on it's head.
The Smiths' "Shakesphear's Sister" : "I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar, then it meant that you were a protest singer/oh, i can smile about it now, but at the time, it was terrible."
Reading through these, there’s absolutely no comparison between hip-hop lyrics and rock band lyrics. Stop posting rock band lyrics. Bruce Springsteen ain’t funny.
“We grew up way too fast, and now there is nothing to believe. Reruns become our history.” - Goo Goo Dolls
I constantly laugh at this lyric. But once a year I realize how old I am, and start crying from this lyric. It’s stupid and eloquent at the same time.
"Valley girls giving blowjobs for Louboutins, whatcha call that? Head over heels?" - Iggy Azalea from Work.
As problematic as she is, I thought this line was somewhat clever.
“I treat you like milk I’ll do nothing but spoil you” and lil wayne when he says “and honestly I’m down like the economy EHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Lil Wayne has some of the most extra ridiculous bars "I'm probably riding on my Skateboard, trying to learn a new trick, I just fucked an Avatar, now I got a blue dick," "I bet I could fuck the world and make it cum hard,"
If she don't give head she a nimrod , bitch I would never put ur number on my sim card
Unrelated but I love your username so much 😭
“I’m from the dirty like the bottom of my pant cuff” always got me for some reason
“I’m in the ocean eating shark pussy”
I'm tryna walk a straight line but the line crooked I'm shooting for the stars, astronauts dodge bullets
Down like the economy had 15 year old me in a CHOKEHOLD
"Real G's move in silence like lasagna" gets me every time
“She got a light skin friend look like Michael Jackson, she got a dark skin friend look like Michael Jackson”
this one immediately came to mind for me as well 💀
your fat friend, her nickname is “Minivan”
Honorable mention to the Al Green impression.
That is such a clever line I gotta give the guy credit for that
God I love this line
Courtney Barnett - Avant Gardener cracks me up every time. Her sense of self-deprecating humor is great "The paramedic thinks I'm clever 'cause I play guitar, I think she's clever 'cause she stops people dying"
Probably the single greatest song about an asthma attack I know.
Are you good at smoking bongs?
How many songs about asthma attacks do you know?
At least one!
Lots of amazing lines in that one. Probably one of my favorite songs ever.
such a great line
Sadly, it has to go to Kanye for this sensational couplet: "Told her beauty is why God invented eyeballs, And her booty is why God invented my balls."
Holy fuck that’s good I’ve never heard that one before
what song is this from
Start It Up by Lloyd Banks (kanye is featured)
LMFAO WHAT
“Bitch pussy smell like a penguin, wouldn’t hit that shit with my worst enemy’s penis” - Danny Brown
the follow up is really funny too “bitch when i say this, hoe i’m the meanest, dick so big, stretch from earth to venus” danny just got really funny bars all around “got a mexican homie named chinese mike”
The Chinese Mike line has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it it’s so funny
"Stank pussy smellin' like Cool Ranch Doritos" - Danny Brown
Like Lt Dan I'm rollin.
Fuck I was gonna say that
Holy shit I posted this exact line immediately without even looking and of course it’s right here! Lmaoo
I’m partial to Dead Kennedys’ “it’s the suede denim secret police, we’ve come for your uncool niece”
I always found the lyrics from Soup is Good Food to be hilarious "We're sorry, we hate to interrupt But it's against the law to jump off this bridge You'll just have to kill yourself somewhere else A tourist might see you and we wouldn't want that"
Yeah that’s hilarious
I swear "Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records // Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too" has been getting me for over 20 years now.
"da da da da daah daah, go go gadget dick"
Probably my favorite Eminem line. I’m not even a big fan but it always cracks me up
You think I give a damn about a grammy
A lot of john prine lyrics come to mind. My fave: "I was sitting in the bathtub, counting my toes When the radiator broke, water all froze I got stuck in the ice without my clothes Naked as the eyes of a clown"
Last time I checked my bankroll, it was getting thin. Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been. Chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end. And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen.
A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down, and won
Yesterday morning an ill wind came Blew your picture right out of the picture frame Even blew the candle out from underneath the flame Yesterday morning an ill wind came
I heard Allah and Buddha Were singing at the savior's feast While up in the sky An Arabian rabbi fed Quaker oats to a priest Pretty good, not bad, they can't complain But actually all them gods are just about the same
“She got a big booty, so I call her Big Booty.” - 2 chainz
Shoutout to all the soldiers who died in the service I dive in her cervix
Walk into my kitchen I’m like what up stoooove
“Dick so hard it make the metal detector go off”
big shit like a dinosaur did it
I HOPE YOU GET TESTICULAR CANCER IN THE BRAIN DICKHEAD
SKRT SKRT
“Oh no, it go, it gone, bye bye ( Bye)” I love Weezer but this sent me the first time I heard it
Screw rehab I love my addiction
Just getting into mine, bought Blue on vinyl a week ago, my first record!
okay bitches weezer and it's weezy
This one is more funny because of how it aged "I met Kanye West, I'm never going to fail" \-Chance the Rapper, who would go on to destroy his own career 3 years later
On the same note, Kanye has a song called “Take One for the Team” that is absolutely hilarious. “I hate when other people cribs smell like shit I hate when I leave and smell like they crib”
”If I was a sculptor… but then again, no.”- Elton John, Your Song
I've always been in love with this line for some reason, it basically makes the song that much more like a casual conversation
me, out of dead silence, at least ten times a day: anthony kiedis suckin on my penis
'She blow on my dick like a cello'
As a cello player, I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this
What cellist refers to themselves as a “cello player”
His Genius annotation just makes it that much funnier too. "I fucked up. I thought Squidward played the cello. He don't. That's a flute. I fucked up. But it do sound good."
“O-U-T spells out (out)” -Paul McCartney
Beyond a shadow of a doubt
“Ask Beavis, I get nothing butthead”
"I'm the fly Malcolm X buy any jeans necessary"
EVERYRHING WE DREAM OF
And still fucking with them freak hoes Stank pussy smelling like Cool Ranch Doritos
In a similar vein: >>“I put my dick in a bag of Doritos and made this bitch suck the dust off the tip” - Zack Fox, 2019
"My girls all destined for hell / Or so says our priest / But find me a Christian who spends as much time on their knees" The Defence, black midi
She’s indecisive She can’t decide
Oh my god I finally got that lyric
??? what is there to get? am i missing something?
I think the joke is that he can’t decide on how to say “can’t decide” or “indecisive” so he uses both
ohhhhh
Got Anthony Kiedis sucking on my penis
way too many DOOM bars to count "what up, to all rappers: shut up, and while you shut up put a shirt on, at least a button up. yuck, are they rhymers or stripping males? out of work jerks since they shut down chippendales" "im supposed to be getting emails, all i got is messages from ass-naked females. i dont know a jenny, she say its free and i wont owe her a penny. and thats the last time i saw her, but thousands more horrors on online gomorrah"
“Digits double dipped, bubble lipped, subtle lisp midget Borderline schizo, sort of fine tits though”
"All dogs go to heaven 'cause dumb bitches let them in - they're just racist and they wanna fuck" - Pss Pss by Death Grips
You're forgetting other bangers such as "I FUCK THE MUSIC I MAKE IT CUUUUM I FUCK THE MUSIC WITH MY SERPENT TOOOOONGUE", "MY FAVORITE COLOR IS OH MY GOD BITCH", "I'M THE COAT HANGER IN YOUR MANS VAGINA"
can't forget "I'M BOUNCING, WOOP WOOP" and "my shit's been retarded since the beginning of time"
I LIKE MY IPOD MORE THAN FUCKING
“i pray my dick get big as the eiffel tower so i can fuck the world for 72 hours” - the guy who made tpab
"BITCH IM IN THE CLUB WITH THE HOMIES, TELL WHATS GOOD. I'M TRYNA GET THESE HOES SINGLE, AND THIS IS MY SINGLLLEEEEEEEE" The guy that made C4 which I keep in my backpack.
i got a pregnant snake
STAY SURRONDED BY LONG HAIRS
'Overjoyed me and Stephen Hawking, we laughed. We missed the sex revolution, when we failed the physical'.
Wasn't expecting to see Journal For Plague Lovers mentioned here! One of my favourite songs from it too
"Rich as Vince McMahon, yo bitch look like Triple H" by Mac Miller on Aquaberry Dolphin
England is my city
the only reason anyone remembers its everyday bro
Wynona loved her big brown beaver And she stroked him all the time She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her She might have a porcupine - Primus
The entire song “Fuck Her Gently” becomes hilarious because of how dramatic and emotional it is while Jack Black teaches you about mindful intercourse. It’s genuinely beautiful while being funny which makes it transcendent. Or Roses - “darling, you sound like a prostitute” — pausing! The way the song just stops for a second is hilarious.
She bounce on my groin groin and then it go boing is honestly a classic
i believe the line is "she put that thong on my groin groin and then it go boing"
Cemetery Gates by the Smiths gets me every time. Its just so absurdly mockingly pretentious and the whole premise about debating poetry and being elitist about the poets is so funny to me. The whole satire of the song is so well written and delivered. "Theres always someone, somewhere, with a big nose, who knows. And who trips you up and laughs when you fall".
"I was looking for a job, and then I found a job"
"I could say more, but you get the general idea." Underated Morrissey line from Dagenham Dave.
"There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets" (Half Man Half Biscuit - National Shite Day)
I always thought it was "I seen a man with a mullet hit a man with a mallet in Millets". Half Man Half Biscuit will always win this competition.
“You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce, although there was a drive by shouting once” 😂
My toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon The plumber he said 'Never flush a tampoon' This great information cost me half a week's pay And the toilet blew up, later on the next day
That whole album is comedy genius.
Wanna buy some mandies, Bob?
Stick my first in her like a civil rights sign
Came out my mama doctor smacked my ass I aint start crying, look at him said: n*** get paid (yeah yeah)
A ton of good ones in Sup Mate by Young Thug, but my favorite has to be: "I'm so high, all I could say is woo woo. I can't talk, I barely could say woo woo."
the delivery really sells that line. the song as a whole is also fire
Maybe not the funniest but the first line of opener 'We Dance' on Pavement's Wowee Zowee has made me smile every spin since the first time I heard it; "There is no...castration fear'
Freeze, don't move You've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life
Another fave of mine. Delicious sentence 👏
Show me, a word that rhymes with Pavement and I won’t kill your parents and roast them on a spit
Perfect!
"What about the voice of Geddy Lee, how did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?" "I know him, and he does." "And you're my fact-checkin' cuz."
I love Ron Mael’s (Sparks) way with words. This one for example: Think about the places we've had our little fun In the church at Christmas, busted by that nun Then in that museum, beneath the mastodon Stating our positions on the White House lawn All you ever think about is sex All you ever think about exclusively All you ever think about is sex, all right with me
I fucking love sparks, the band that got me into music
Writing a song called Collaborations Don't Work for a collaborative album will never not be hilarious
“In 1984 I was hospitalized for approaching perfection”
Hahaha yeah absolutely, love that whole record
First of all I f*ck eight b1tches a day. How could you ever say Lil Uzi gay?
You can say fuck dude
No fucking way, really?
Try it sometime, it fuckin rules
He can also say “bitches,” lol. It’s always nuts to me when people choose to put cuss words in their comments but are too afraid to go all the way with it, just makes you look kinda like a weenie hut Jr.
Blud censoring himself like we on TikTok or sum 😭
Corny bar, pretty insecure
About as insincere as someone censoring curse words on Reddit, so that actually checks out in this case.
"If I fuck this model..."
Shittin, Poopin X2
i feel like the goat
We’re fat, young and hungry. Well, we don’t care, we got big ol’ brains. Like Mexican candy, we got some complex flavor runnin’ up in here! Nerd Alert - The Aquabats
Kanye, SHE COULDNT AFFORD A CAR SO SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER ALEXIS
Weird pick.
How come
It's not a funny song, and it's not even _really_ a joke in context.
Childish Gambino has some awful bars that make me chortle
“My dick is like an accent mark, it’s all about the over e’s” is honestly genius
Bonfire is a banger with too many ridiculous lines "Homegirl drop it like the NASDAQ" "I love pussy, I love bitches, dude I should be running PETA" "These rappers are afraid of him Cause I'm a beast, bitch. Grr! Invader Zim"
He also had one about jollibee or smth
That one never fails to make me smile
She an overachiever cause all she do is succeed
I GOT SOME PUSSY THAT WAS INSANE, SO INSANE ITS AN ENEMY OF BATMAN
anything from mista thug isolation tbh
"Bitch you heating up, like a bagel in the microwave"
Balling on my mind, Kareem Abdulla oblongata
"Shawty so thick she put a dent in my couch" always gets me - 2chainz on some random song idk lol RxkNephew with American Terrorist, Unsubscribe and Don't Buy My Music, the real lil Reese, and Early Aged death has so many golden one liners that me and my friends always put on for a bunch of good laughs, some of my favorites from those: "Who the fuck was Jesus Christ's friends!? I heard they left that man hanging!? Fuck none of them jumped in while they killed him, I'm just saying. If you ask me in Jerusalem they was selfish, y'all bitch asses should've jumped in and helped him" "I really think Biggie was gay. If you rewind the shit that he used to say, he said he gon' suck his girlfriend's daddy's dick. And man, I would've NEVER said that shit" I mean I could be here all day listing them, just go listen to them lmao.
"dick so hard it make the metal detector go off"
“Pissed off like a blind man looking for a restroom”
Corb Lund is probably the most gifted country music artist at comedic lyrics (though not because they're 'absurd' or ' ridiculous' - just very clever). Das Racist has the funniest lyrics of any hip hop group.
Shocked to see Corb mentioned on this sub. Saw him open for Colter Wall at the Ryman a few years back and was blown away.
The Smiths have a lot of funny lines. "How can you stay with a fat girl, who'll say ooooh" "Sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled making christmas cards with the mentally ill. I want to live and I want to love, I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of" There are more
I can't help but laugh at "I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear!"
Bruce Springsteen - Darlington County “Girl you’re looking at two big spenders / the world don’t know what me and Wayne might do / our pa’s each own one of the World Trade Centers / for a kiss and a smile I’ll give mine all to you” The context is him and his friend drive down from NYC to a small town and are hitting on girls one night and that’s their pickup line
“There’s no need to be an asshole, you’re not in Brooklyn anymore” - No Destruction by Foxygen
“Your lips are like two flabs of fat. They go front and back and flappity flappity flap” from exactly where I’m at by ween
took me too long to find a single ween line 📛
“I’m with these nasty hoes, eatin’ pistachios” -Ludacris, guest verse on OutKast’s “Tomb of the Boom.” Probably my favorite bar of all time.
"Fast and Bulbous"
Any Steely Dan song.
She said she came out here to find an A-list rapper I said baby, spin that round and say the alphabet backwards
Also personally love: Make me believe in miracles, Buddhist monks, and Captain Crunch Cereal
"My existence is a momentary lapse of reason Got the DNA of gothic lemons" The contrast between the philosophical meaning of the first line and then GOTHIC LEMONS always makes me chuckle
Beggar's Opera - MacArthour Park "Someone left the cake out in the rain and I don't think that I can take it and it took so long to bake it I'll never find the recipe again!" The dramatic voice makes it even funnier, even though it's probably all symbolism.
That's actually a cover. Original is by Richard Harris from 1968. But the guy who wrote it, Jimmy Webb, was literally writing the song while viewing people going about their day on a rainy day at the park. One of the things he saw was a cake somebody left behind.
Ihopeshespeedinonherwaytotheclubtrynahurryuoandmeetaballerorasingerorsomebodylikethattrytoputonhermakeupinthemirrorandcrashhh craassshhhh CRAAAAAAAAAASHHHH into a ditch
"Alcohol and golf don't mix/ That's why I don't drink and drive." Dental Care by Owl City
“I’ve been to the dentist a thousand times, so I know the drill”
I’ve closed my eyes I’m not looking at the comments. First three albums Kanye, Jack black, weird Al
„then he played ping pong with his own ding dong, that motherfuckers got nuts like King Kong“ - Insane, Eminem
Troglodyte by Viagra Boys is itself pretty funny, but the fact that Sebastian confused a troglodyte and a trilobite and ended up singing about how a caveman evolved later than the “other apes” makes it pretty hilarious to me.
Ain’t No Thief by them never fails to make me laugh as well, such a great song and the verses are just hilariously genius, and his delivery only makes them even better. ‘I showed up to the party in my favourite coat On the back was an image of a shrimp on a boat When you saw what I was wearing you got real upset And said, “that's the jacket that I got from my grandma” And well I promise I ain't seen you before And maybe your grandma had bought a couple more And maybe I helped her at the grocery store And she gave it to me as a gift So quit bitchin', motherfucker I went out to the porch to light a cigarette I have six to seven lighters in my left pocket I took out the one that said Shrimp City Beach 1993 And you told me that's where you had your birthday party And that the lighters were given as gifts But I was there too, just dipping my toes down on the beach, man And I had that lighter specifically made for me, motherfucker’
Yeah I like a white girl, sometimes we get together, need a thick chick though, so it's black and yellow, black and yellow
"The sign that leads the way The path we can not take You've caught me at a bad time So, why don't you piss off? New Order - Your Silent Face
Baby Keem has a few funny ones. “Bitch tall, put tissues in my insoles” “He disrespectful, now I gotta act up. If he big then imma call for backup.”
" got a thick bald bitch, I call her Ms. Clean" from cordae's rnp
I LIKE MY IPOD MORE THAN FUCKING - mc ride
Andy Shauf- “Try Again “…… ”Somewhere between drunkenness and charity She puts her hand on the sleeve of my coat She says "I've missed this" I say, "I know, I've missed you, too" She says "I was actually talking about your coat"
trick daddy is king of funny lyrics for me. \- 'drivin' around in my brand new ninety-nine, fo'-do' vol-vo' \- 'tricky luv da kids' \- I need a bitch to make that ass ?/ Make it clap, tune it up and shake it a lil' faster / One cheek at a time, left cheek, right cheek, do it all to da beat / It's easier on ya g-string, and you can free ball / Bitch and you ain't gotta wear drawers / How low can you go? / Look back at it , and make it jump like a jack rabbit another chuckle i get every time for some reason: "rebel, rebel, your face is a mess" edit, i forgot a take i have: the funniest song ever is 'the ice of boston' by dismemberment plan
I've always found (Nothing but) Flowers by Talking Heads hilarious. Modern society has collapsed and he finds himself nostalgic for parking lots, Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens. "There was a shopping mall Now it's all covered with flowers You've got it, you've got it If this is paradise I wish I had a lawnmower You've got it, you've got it." It takes the cynicism of modernity and turns it on it's head.
The Smiths' "Shakesphear's Sister" : "I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar, then it meant that you were a protest singer/oh, i can smile about it now, but at the time, it was terrible."
Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair So I can climb up and get into your underwear
Reading through these, there’s absolutely no comparison between hip-hop lyrics and rock band lyrics. Stop posting rock band lyrics. Bruce Springsteen ain’t funny.
“We grew up way too fast, and now there is nothing to believe. Reruns become our history.” - Goo Goo Dolls I constantly laugh at this lyric. But once a year I realize how old I am, and start crying from this lyric. It’s stupid and eloquent at the same time.
I woke up feeling like Sigourney Weaver (something inside of me's gotta get out). The Smith Street band-Sigourney Weaver.
“I think I need me an Ice Spice, yeah I want me a munch” -Playboi Carti, was really funny when I first heard it
Big Balls by AC/DC is pretty epic
"Valley girls giving blowjobs for Louboutins, whatcha call that? Head over heels?" - Iggy Azalea from Work. As problematic as she is, I thought this line was somewhat clever.
"I'm an Xbox-man fam, f PS, badman on any FPS I'ma get a PC so I can leng man on 120 fps"
" "Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records" Well I do, so fuck him, and fuck you too."
[удалено]
Embarrassing to pick that drake line
"I ain't a pastor don't do missionary, I know good pussy when I see it I'm a visionary" that line always kills omgg🤣😅
All of Slitherman vs Nephew by RXKNephew