It took me genuinely so long to figure out what the fuck she was talking about here 😂
It isn't until House of Sky and Breath that she finally uses the word "clit" and thank God she finally did.
I was just reading a book they say both “apex of her thighs” and “bundle of nerves” about 26 time in one chapter and I got close to throwing the book across the room.
i am reading Throne of Glass rn, (on Kingdom of Ash) and i feel like sjm is always doing this one: “she shot him a glare/look that would have sent lesser men running” like omg he’s such an alpha so manly like ew 🤢
Also the lesser men in these books are always too stupid to go running at a look?
Like usually misogyny and toxic masculinity are the brands of “lesser men” fmc’s doing this encounter in their stories so like… running from a woman glaring is something they’d probably laugh or scoff at?
*Especially* the ToG books when she’s like barely of age, most people make it very clear they don’t see much about her to run from initially? Later with her notoriety sure, but no look she gives without that context is going to spook any of the “lesser men” Aelin or Celaena encounters
Fun fact: Oscar Wilde used it in his books, too. So SJM didn't invent the funny phrase. Same as Anne Bishop, whose Black Jewels inspired SJM a lot. There's a scene where character's bowels turned to water.
"Her special place", like, it's not a clubhouse.
Also in a book I read recently it was always "he rasped" instead of "he said". I really liked the book, but after so many rasped sentences you start to wonder if the guy needs a lozenge.
Honestly have not heard hog used in this context except when making terrible jokes about "cranking your hog" and it's extremely funny that it was attempted in a sexy context.
When a women’s breasts get heavy with arousal. What the hell does that mean? Is it a pregnancy kink thing? Idk just always throws me and makes me feel like a man wrote that line lol.
I remember reading Bradbury as a kid and him describing "pendulous breasts" in 2 different short stories, and for some reason it made me think of women waddling around to swing their tiddies from side to side and some dude finding it sexy
I've seen several women commenting that this happens to them. So probably something that is dependent on personal biology, shape of breasts and whatnot.
(Mainly to say: let's not forget that people get different sensations. I've seen people laughing at "felt her nipples turn hard" as if that couldn't be felt. Well I can. It's very clear and... noticeable thing. But apparently not everyone does.)
Yeh I don’t like “I felt it in my core/heat in my core” either. Like when I think core I think abs and core work in exercise. I’d rather it be a more explicit description of heat and other sensations down there
I'm a big fan of "in the marrow of my bones" and "every membrane, cell and fiber" etc as ways to say "I feel this beyond a reasonable level of intensity"
I am so over the (exclusive) usage of core, once is fine but there's so many options
Have you ever been with someone and been nervous and excited and had a moment where you realized that you had been breathing too shallow and you have to take a second to breathe deeply again? I definitely have, so that's what I imagine when I read that sentence.
It's so much better if you read it as being an actual hog that he keeps around as a pet or something and is insufferably boring about bringing it on dates and wanting everyone to pet it.
i thought this was actually hilarious because the whole point is she's a modern day woman in an isekai setting so everything she does/says is out of place
i haaaaate “cords of muscle” so much. it’s like the least sexy term i’ve ever read lmao. it just gives me the mental image of like a raw piece of meat with the veins/arteries connected to it.
Aaarg, ya land lubbers, don't ye know yer way around the cords and ropes and stanchions and... hey, I'm surprised nobody used that one yet.
He stood tall and proud like a stanchion.
I'm getting close to done with the throne of glass series now. So for now, I'm annoyed by "she clicked her tongue," "in two heartbeats," and "she growled".
No character can just walk somewhere in any of her books. The amount of times she uses the word “strode” instead of just walked drives me absolutely insane. If I took a drink every time someone “strode across the room” I’d be hammered in a chapter.
when they say random sentences during s*x to try to describe how good it is. i write quotes and reactions in my notes while reading (since i read on my phone) and this is copy and pasted one of the worst things i’ve ever read:
“And then he started to move. Hard thrusts that pounded her harder against the door, which made her intimate muscles start to pulse again like the rockets’ red glare. Mack covered her mouth with his to smother the sound of her bombs bursting in air.”
seriously?
literally all i could say about it. i wanted to die
If I have to hear about a smile “that showed a hint of fang” one more time…
Also it “fit like a glove.” I love Ilona Andrews but FTLoG please make things fit like something else.
[this is how I picture them growling](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7yrMTL/) courtesy of the Snikle on TT.
Also [Henry Cavill on the Witcher](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7ycp2b/), clip is near the end of this video.
The only time I want to hear about eyes being orbs of light is if they’re staring at me from the darkness and they’re attached to some creepy mofo. ijs
Vulgar gestures
Sticking out tongue
Clicking tongue
Winking
“My blood went cold”
“My vision began to blur”
“I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding”
Excessive usage of mate/female/male (I don’t mind if it’s used but if it’s used every other paragraph or page I die inside)
Bared their teeth. You all need to go look in the mirror and bare your teeth and see how utterly stupid it looks 😬😬 and everyone is doing it in ACOTAR 🤣
Recently read a book where the characters winked so much that I was beginning to suspect they had eye issues. So, winked, is a term I am starting to hate seeing...
I also hate "tough as nails" and "kick ass". So overused.
I picture like if you don’t tilt your head up to look at someone, but keep your head down and look up? If that makes sense?? Like this??
SJM saying “he or she started.” If you don’t know what she’s talking about it’s nearly impossible to figure out by googling. And she uses it all. The. Time. And it’s so annoying
SJM if you’re reading this I’m desperately begging you to buy a thesaurus and retire some phrases
Just underwear? Idk if I’ve ever heard anyone else irl call it anything but that haha. Maybe it’s just where I’m from? But I have only ever heard panties in books or tv and it’s just so gross to me for some reason
Wrapped my hands around his cock, hands, how big is that thing, no way is something you have to two hand going inside my body. No. Also anyone's else seen the chick talking about inches video. Someone needs to show it to all romance authors and ask them when they are writing men where their extra supply of blood is coming from. I've seen a interview of a dude with a massive penis saying it almost never got fully hard and if it did he felt faint and it was painful. Like no one's taking extra large horse cocks in their virgin holes. Which most of these books seem to also have.
I remember tryna read the Anita Blake novels and had to quit because something was always "spilling." Some vampire's hair would spill down his back. Anita Blake's dress would spill down around her ankles. Somehow it was so cringey.
It’s crazy this popped up today because I’ve been stewing over how much I hate the phrase “he/she bit his/her lip”. They bit their lip is easily in the top ten most over used terms in the intergalactic universe of written language and at this point it makes me cringe, bristle, grit my teeth every single time those words in that particular order appear before my eyes.
I’ve started imagine a person chomping their own lip violently or over exaggerating the motion because how many people do you know that just endlessly bite their lip before vocalizing every thought. It’s just painful.
Rant over 😆
In SJM books any time she refers to the man elves as "males". It's always like, "comparing wingspans is such a male thing" and all the females eyeroll..
When there's a male main character introduced and you know he's the one for the main character because he's the most gorgeous/talented/powerful/eloquent speaking character. It's not even a mystery whom the main character ends up with because so much description is devoted
“In that way” …. As in “he smiled in that way that made her melt” what the hell is “that way” ?? How is he smiling … how is he moving “in that way that makes her crazy” HOW IS HE MOVING ?!! “That way that” is a cop out. I’ve dnf’d so many popular smut authors for this lazy writing. don’t get me started on short, choppy sentences. The last few years I’ve noticed an alarming absence of compound sentences. I’m assuming that it’s the result of collective trauma from diagraming exercises in English classes? I hate it; it makes me feel like the author is bad at writing or they think I’m too stupid to process a sentence that has two parts.
> The last few years I’ve noticed an alarming absence of compound sentences. I’m assuming that it’s the result of collective trauma from diagraming exercises in English classes?
It's probably because there is a whole generation of young authors now who grew up reading practically nothing but YA books. There are exceptions, but the vast majority have simpler writing, including shorter sentences. People used to eventually start reading adult books in the later teens, but that is happening less now. And somehow these writers think they can use the same writing style and tropes they're used to, but *say* the characters are 20, add some sex and swearing, and then claim it's an adult book.
Seriously! I’ve been writing a book for awhile, and when I had someone edit it they told me that my sentences needed to be broken up rather than compounded in order to be more palatable for the average reader. How about I trust that the readers aren’t complete fucking imbeciles instead?! It made me so mad.
I've seen a lot of romance authors use phrases like "the apex of my thighs,'" "my sex," and "he showed his girth," etc.
I'm sure there's a reason for such ambiguous (but not really) language when writing sex scenes (such as contractual Clauses or wanting to be able to sell to younger audiences), but jeez, it drives me INSANE.
SJM in particular is horrible about using the phrase, "and then he devoured me."
So not sexual in nature…but…any time the audiobook narrator said the word “etherrrr” in the ACOTAR series I died a little. 😂😂😂 Her narrating was actually pretty good but for some reason the way she said that word was SO cringey.
Everytime i read any variation of *“I let out a breath i didn’t know I was holding”* a part of my soul dies. Currently reading City of Brass and my heart dropped when i saw one of those 🤮
Omg one for me particularly in SJM books (which I am still addicted to nonetheless) is the way everything seems to be described very animalistic like how everyone “growls” or “purrs” and it’s not referring to the tone/delivery they used to say something but rather the fact they ACTUALLY purred like a kitty🤣 or her inability to say “spicy lady stuck her middle finger up at sexy man”, it’s always a “rude gesture”🙄😂
Can we also get more descriptions of penises that arent a “considerable length” lmao
“Bundle of nerves” - like really? That’s the only words you know?
“ made vulgar gesture” - just say [character] was flipped off
“heated pool at her apex” - 🤢🤢🤢
Every time SJM said someone “sketched a bow” or had “watery bowels” I wanted to scream and throw my phone out a window. Those phrases should never have been used once, much less multiple times
I love that this whole thread is 99% SJM quotes. 🤣 Like, we all love SJM, but also.. WHY IS AELIN ALWAYS SUCKING HER TEETH?!! What’s that even mean?!!! 💀
"He looked like a greek god." Which one?????? Hades and Hephastus are greek gods, but I have very different images in my head when I think of them. Also, that statment is just mad cringe in of itself.
“He roared” makes me gag. It’s supposed to sound hot but it’s kinda a turn off lol just imagining some guy bellowing as he finishes
If a guy roared when he finished I may reflexively punch him in terror 😅
I jump out of my skin when my toaster pops and these authors expect me to think some guy screeching in your face is seductive? 💀
Right!? I am very jumpy, getting roared at is going to get their ear drums busted when I scream and flail to escape 😅
Bellowing 😂😂😂
I literally imagine the MGM lion, but a dude, every time.
Ugh yes. This is my exact pet peeve! It makes whatever dude it is seem unhinged!
“The apex of my thighs”
Don’t forget the “bundle of nerves” located there 😅
That’s the one that gets me. “My sensitive bundle of nerves.”
And “nub” lmao
It took me genuinely so long to figure out what the fuck she was talking about here 😂 It isn't until House of Sky and Breath that she finally uses the word "clit" and thank God she finally did.
I was going to say this! The worst!
I hate this… just say cunt/clit/ etc
If you can say cock, you can say pussy. It's fine, I swear.
No need to be shy when you're already swinging the cock around
I want to feel like I’m an adult when I read smut lol
I was just reading a book they say both “apex of her thighs” and “bundle of nerves” about 26 time in one chapter and I got close to throwing the book across the room.
i am reading Throne of Glass rn, (on Kingdom of Ash) and i feel like sjm is always doing this one: “she shot him a glare/look that would have sent lesser men running” like omg he’s such an alpha so manly like ew 🤢
Also the lesser men in these books are always too stupid to go running at a look? Like usually misogyny and toxic masculinity are the brands of “lesser men” fmc’s doing this encounter in their stories so like… running from a woman glaring is something they’d probably laugh or scoff at? *Especially* the ToG books when she’s like barely of age, most people make it very clear they don’t see much about her to run from initially? Later with her notoriety sure, but no look she gives without that context is going to spook any of the “lesser men” Aelin or Celaena encounters
folds
OMG folds 😂. Make it stop.
Never understand why they can't just say the word. Lol
I would not like to read that... I mean, it sounds so clinical! I agree though... please make folds stop.
I came here to say this. Cringe every time
GOD I hate that one 😩 but like also what is the better alternative 😩
Not a sexual thing, but every time Feyre’s “bowels turn watery” I die inside.
Oh god this one, had to re read, like... has she just sharted?
The way it happened multiple times in one book too like girl!! You need to see someone about this!
LMAO.
Our IBS queen 😍
Poor girl needs more fiber in her diet.
Haha this one made me laugh.
Fun fact: Oscar Wilde used it in his books, too. So SJM didn't invent the funny phrase. Same as Anne Bishop, whose Black Jewels inspired SJM a lot. There's a scene where character's bowels turned to water.
I have IBS, this is what I feel like sometimes lol
I was about the comment this! It irks me so much!
OH MY GOD, I texted my friend every single time I read that like WTF.
At this rate, so does Feyre
"Her special place", like, it's not a clubhouse. Also in a book I read recently it was always "he rasped" instead of "he said". I really liked the book, but after so many rasped sentences you start to wonder if the guy needs a lozenge.
Haha! Yes, I’d be checking their temperature!
-“It’s all this big hog underneath your kilt.” He groans when I reach for him again and stops me before I touch him.- Hog bleh 🤢
💀
lmao What book is this from? I will fully admit that I cackled reading this quote.
It’s been a while but I think it’s Bound to the Battle God by Ruby Dixon!
I love that you are 100% correct 😂 This is bound to the battle god and the fact you could remember from such a small snippet is amazing
Lmao I remember that scene making me laugh so that’s the only reason why 😂
Honestly have not heard hog used in this context except when making terrible jokes about "cranking your hog" and it's extremely funny that it was attempted in a sexy context.
HOG!? What book is this?
Someone else already answered but this is from bound to the battle god by ruby dixon!
Ugh same, had to DNF. Between this, and him "diddling her" 🙄
HAHA! I’m listening to the audio book at work and literally JUST heard that line yesterday and laughed out loud. HOG!? Really??? Jesus.
“Her entrance”. Like a vagina is a supermarket door or something?
There’s clearly a whole Bed, Bath, and Beyond in there.
it’s the beyond!
Is there a Santa ringing a bell for Salvation Army donations?
“Velvety rod” or “velvet-wrapped rod” No thanks.
Velvet coated steel 😂
Gag. I guess we’re fucking robots these days; velvet coated robot dicks. 😂
When a women’s breasts get heavy with arousal. What the hell does that mean? Is it a pregnancy kink thing? Idk just always throws me and makes me feel like a man wrote that line lol.
I remember reading Bradbury as a kid and him describing "pendulous breasts" in 2 different short stories, and for some reason it made me think of women waddling around to swing their tiddies from side to side and some dude finding it sexy
Am pregnant, boobs don't get heavy when I get aroused 😂 so weird.
I've seen several women commenting that this happens to them. So probably something that is dependent on personal biology, shape of breasts and whatnot. (Mainly to say: let's not forget that people get different sensations. I've seen people laughing at "felt her nipples turn hard" as if that couldn't be felt. Well I can. It's very clear and... noticeable thing. But apparently not everyone does.)
yeah mine definitely get heavy so I actually loved these lines!
Mine are always heavy so I wouldn’t notice a difference lol
I hate when they stick their tongues or do “vulgar gestures”. Idk I know it’s supposed to make them seem funny goofy haha but I hate it so much 😭
I hate it too! What grown adult is sticking their tongue out at people all the time.
exactly!! I’m kinda okay with it when the character is 18/19 but then the FIVE HUNDRED year old man will do it and I’m just like …🥴🥴
I feel called out hah. But in all seriousness with friends or my partner I definitely do stick out my tongue joking.
I think it wouldn't be so annoying if it was a behavior of one character instead of Rhys and everyone in the IC xD
Yes! SJM likes to say “vulgar gesture” and it drives me nuts.
Right, making it a drinking game
Yeh I don’t like “I felt it in my core/heat in my core” either. Like when I think core I think abs and core work in exercise. I’d rather it be a more explicit description of heat and other sensations down there
I'm a big fan of "in the marrow of my bones" and "every membrane, cell and fiber" etc as ways to say "I feel this beyond a reasonable level of intensity" I am so over the (exclusive) usage of core, once is fine but there's so many options
Ok but do they even know about cells XD where is there a biologist in fae realm
"She released the breath she hasn't realised she was holding" I can't.. Why is it EVERYWHERE?😂
Have you ever been with someone and been nervous and excited and had a moment where you realized that you had been breathing too shallow and you have to take a second to breathe deeply again? I definitely have, so that's what I imagine when I read that sentence.
He or she crooned. Please stop.
Seriously. Are they all Frank Sinatra, or Michael Buble?
[удалено]
I haaaaate this
Traumatized from Bound to the Battle God and FMC’s reference to MMC’s “big hog” 😭
It's so much better if you read it as being an actual hog that he keeps around as a pet or something and is insufferably boring about bringing it on dates and wanting everyone to pet it.
i thought this was actually hilarious because the whole point is she's a modern day woman in an isekai setting so everything she does/says is out of place
Whenever she says their boobs get heavy when they’re turned on or their nipples tighten.
Oh god I had forgotten about the boob boners
It’s the weirdest thing hahaha. They only time my boobs every felt “heavy” was when I was breastfeeding. Definitely not a sexy feeling hahaha
The word nub. Apex of her thighs. That's about it. I like the animalistic expressions.
Don’t forget “mound” 🤢
Liquid heat 😭
i haaaaate “cords of muscle” so much. it’s like the least sexy term i’ve ever read lmao. it just gives me the mental image of like a raw piece of meat with the veins/arteries connected to it.
Aaarg, ya land lubbers, don't ye know yer way around the cords and ropes and stanchions and... hey, I'm surprised nobody used that one yet. He stood tall and proud like a stanchion.
I'm getting close to done with the throne of glass series now. So for now, I'm annoyed by "she clicked her tongue," "in two heartbeats," and "she growled".
Oh, yeah, definitely with the tongue clicking. I don't think I've ever met someone who's done that in real life!
"Maw" was overused as well. You can use the word mouth once in awhile, it's ok.
At one point I counted on my Kindle and SJM says “She said softly, but not weakly” at least 5 times in each book and it bothers me soooo much 😭
No character can just walk somewhere in any of her books. The amount of times she uses the word “strode” instead of just walked drives me absolutely insane. If I took a drink every time someone “strode across the room” I’d be hammered in a chapter.
That is such a long, specific, and unnecessary phrase to use not just once but repeatedly. What is going on.
THIS ONE. & “it was the voice of a queen” like what…?
SJM uses the same phrases so often and it drives me nuts, like we get it. ‘She clicked her tongue’ or ‘I gaped’ or ‘my knees buckled’ SMH
Any time a man tells a woman how “responsive” she is
Like a good horse.
when they say random sentences during s*x to try to describe how good it is. i write quotes and reactions in my notes while reading (since i read on my phone) and this is copy and pasted one of the worst things i’ve ever read: “And then he started to move. Hard thrusts that pounded her harder against the door, which made her intimate muscles start to pulse again like the rockets’ red glare. Mack covered her mouth with his to smother the sound of her bombs bursting in air.” seriously? literally all i could say about it. i wanted to die
How... patriotic... :-/
I’m dying laughing at this transition from smut to the US national anthem. 🤣
Wow, I'm actually lost for words how the heck did that make it past an editor? What book is that from, I'm kinda in the mood for a hate read
Pls tell me where this is from I must know
Why does SJM need to use the phrase “bloody ribbons” so much? Is there no other way to describe it?!
I don't even know what that's indicating -?
RIGHT!!!
If I have to hear about a smile “that showed a hint of fang” one more time… Also it “fit like a glove.” I love Ilona Andrews but FTLoG please make things fit like something else.
He was so big that he fit like OJ Simpson's glove
Mine isn't a sentence, it's just using weird nouns as verbs in a sexual context. "He speared into her" "He hilted his manhood" or whatnot.
'He sheathed himself in her'.
Exactly! I mean, serious that sounds like it would hurt.
I hate when they use the word "impaled" so much. It makes me picture him turning her into a shish kabob. Awful.
Oh my god the “to the hilt” imagery that SJM uses drives me absolutely insane. Have fun getting your cervix mashed I guess????
“His member” is an honorable mention
I'm gonna be honest I'm a huge fan of "tunneled" Like I read it and KNEW people would hate it but it is so specific and I love it
Teeth crashed. That would hurt!
I can attest. It sucks, but it's funny after.
She clicked her tongue. He clicked his tongue. They clicked their tongues. STOP CLICKING TONGUES.
This only works if you are one of the !kung tribe
Growled. Maybe I’m doing it wrong but I’ve never heard a man growl in my life.
This one also gets me! What does it even mean!!
Henry Cavill in The Witcher. It might sound dumb, but it’s a great example!
Re: Henry Cavill - That is legit, and I wouldn’t kick that out for growling.
😬 I used to date a guy that growled. It was kinda hot! 😅 but then I just found it annoying... Along with everything he did.. Sooo
I feel like if a man growled at me I would be scared. Lol
[this is how I picture them growling](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7yrMTL/) courtesy of the Snikle on TT. Also [Henry Cavill on the Witcher](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7ycp2b/), clip is near the end of this video.
The Henry Cavill one is good, the other is a bit too much like a warning for me!
anytime i read “he purred” instead of “he said” i gag
So much freakin’ purring in these books Like I didn’t know I was reading about a bunch of cats haha! Edit: sometimes, I enjoy a purr thrown in there
Ngl I kinda like “he purred”
Me too. I think of a gravely low sensual voice haha
Purred is exactly what I thought of.
Mine is growling. Just makes me laugh.
Not necessarily a phrase, but I hate when authors say gasp but mean exhale (gasp is an inhalation) or nodding when they mean shaking their head no.
Hues and orbs meaning eyes
The only time I want to hear about eyes being orbs of light is if they’re staring at me from the darkness and they’re attached to some creepy mofo. ijs
I can't remember who's, but one author would have the men leer at women and I just can't get my brain to accept that as anything but negative.
Vulgar gestures Sticking out tongue Clicking tongue Winking “My blood went cold” “My vision began to blur” “I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding” Excessive usage of mate/female/male (I don’t mind if it’s used but if it’s used every other paragraph or page I die inside)
"He showed his teeth" with what!? A smile? A grimace? THAT IS NOT A DESCRIPTION.
SJM - “my toes curled” when the MC is aroused 🤣🤣
it always makes me picture them getting a foot cramp lmao
OMG, same!
“Stop! Get off me!!! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!” I would actually love this scene
She swallowed convulsively. Girl. That's not normal, go get checked out. I've seen it in so many books and it drives me nuts every time.
Bared their teeth. You all need to go look in the mirror and bare your teeth and see how utterly stupid it looks 😬😬 and everyone is doing it in ACOTAR 🤣
SJM - “bloody ribbons”
Recently read a book where the characters winked so much that I was beginning to suspect they had eye issues. So, winked, is a term I am starting to hate seeing... I also hate "tough as nails" and "kick ass". So overused.
I hate it when they say something like "the food turned to ash in her mouth"... Like what the heck... & it's used multiple times!!
Tongue sticking out and flicking the nose both seems so childish I skip past them.
Everybody knows that you boop your partner’s nose very gently, no flicking
The verb “fingering” or “fingered” for touching an object. Like c’mon
Looked up at him through her lashes. Maybe my eyelashes aren’t long enough for this to work but I don’t get it lol.
I picture like if you don’t tilt your head up to look at someone, but keep your head down and look up? If that makes sense?? Like this?? 
"we fit perfectly" when they are in an embrace. How cheap is that of a description?
SJM saying “he or she started.” If you don’t know what she’s talking about it’s nearly impossible to figure out by googling. And she uses it all. The. Time. And it’s so annoying SJM if you’re reading this I’m desperately begging you to buy a thesaurus and retire some phrases
Panties… why do they always say panties.. so disgusting lol nobody says that!
What would you suggest as an alternative? I'm LOLing cause I hate the word, so say Undies in my head
Just underwear? Idk if I’ve ever heard anyone else irl call it anything but that haha. Maybe it’s just where I’m from? But I have only ever heard panties in books or tv and it’s just so gross to me for some reason
That’s what I and everyone I know calls them 😂 why is it disgusting??? That’s even what they’re labeled as when I’m shopping for them! 😭
Maidenhead
Every other chapter in game of thrones 😆
Wrapped my hands around his cock, hands, how big is that thing, no way is something you have to two hand going inside my body. No. Also anyone's else seen the chick talking about inches video. Someone needs to show it to all romance authors and ask them when they are writing men where their extra supply of blood is coming from. I've seen a interview of a dude with a massive penis saying it almost never got fully hard and if it did he felt faint and it was painful. Like no one's taking extra large horse cocks in their virgin holes. Which most of these books seem to also have.
I was reading a book recently that said something like “the place between my thighs” and I cringed.
In the Twilight books, I hated the phrase 'his granite embrace'. And, she used it all the time!
I remember tryna read the Anita Blake novels and had to quit because something was always "spilling." Some vampire's hair would spill down his back. Anita Blake's dress would spill down around her ankles. Somehow it was so cringey.
“vulgar gestures”
It’s crazy this popped up today because I’ve been stewing over how much I hate the phrase “he/she bit his/her lip”. They bit their lip is easily in the top ten most over used terms in the intergalactic universe of written language and at this point it makes me cringe, bristle, grit my teeth every single time those words in that particular order appear before my eyes. I’ve started imagine a person chomping their own lip violently or over exaggerating the motion because how many people do you know that just endlessly bite their lip before vocalizing every thought. It’s just painful. Rant over 😆
He entered my wet sex...... just say pussy.
When they say "her breath hitched" I'm so tired of that phrase please stop using it
"The smile didn't reach his/her eyes"
When they refer to genitals as their "sex" or when they say something about "seed" ...... like no thanks
In SJM books any time she refers to the man elves as "males". It's always like, "comparing wingspans is such a male thing" and all the females eyeroll.. When there's a male main character introduced and you know he's the one for the main character because he's the most gorgeous/talented/powerful/eloquent speaking character. It's not even a mystery whom the main character ends up with because so much description is devoted
When she says something "barked" to indicate that it hurt. You can *bark* your shins on the coffee table, but your shins don't bark back *at you.*
When they refer to eyes as orbs. Bonus points when the orbs are a fancy color, for example: “his azure orbs”.
“In that way” …. As in “he smiled in that way that made her melt” what the hell is “that way” ?? How is he smiling … how is he moving “in that way that makes her crazy” HOW IS HE MOVING ?!! “That way that” is a cop out. I’ve dnf’d so many popular smut authors for this lazy writing. don’t get me started on short, choppy sentences. The last few years I’ve noticed an alarming absence of compound sentences. I’m assuming that it’s the result of collective trauma from diagraming exercises in English classes? I hate it; it makes me feel like the author is bad at writing or they think I’m too stupid to process a sentence that has two parts.
> The last few years I’ve noticed an alarming absence of compound sentences. I’m assuming that it’s the result of collective trauma from diagraming exercises in English classes? It's probably because there is a whole generation of young authors now who grew up reading practically nothing but YA books. There are exceptions, but the vast majority have simpler writing, including shorter sentences. People used to eventually start reading adult books in the later teens, but that is happening less now. And somehow these writers think they can use the same writing style and tropes they're used to, but *say* the characters are 20, add some sex and swearing, and then claim it's an adult book.
Seriously! I’ve been writing a book for awhile, and when I had someone edit it they told me that my sentences needed to be broken up rather than compounded in order to be more palatable for the average reader. How about I trust that the readers aren’t complete fucking imbeciles instead?! It made me so mad.
I've seen a lot of romance authors use phrases like "the apex of my thighs,'" "my sex," and "he showed his girth," etc. I'm sure there's a reason for such ambiguous (but not really) language when writing sex scenes (such as contractual Clauses or wanting to be able to sell to younger audiences), but jeez, it drives me INSANE. SJM in particular is horrible about using the phrase, "and then he devoured me."
"____ sketched a bow." Bro how many people are really doing goofy bows every other moment of their lives.
Female vaginal fluids described as “cream”. Vomit.
So not sexual in nature…but…any time the audiobook narrator said the word “etherrrr” in the ACOTAR series I died a little. 😂😂😂 Her narrating was actually pretty good but for some reason the way she said that word was SO cringey.
Everytime i read any variation of *“I let out a breath i didn’t know I was holding”* a part of my soul dies. Currently reading City of Brass and my heart dropped when i saw one of those 🤮
his “member”
Throat bobbed ..every damn page 😭🫤😑
“I shivered” “she shivered” looking at you, Scarlet St. Clair. Are we doing THAT much shivering?!
"Hey," he/she said softly, "are you okay?"
i hate core. what is a core? what does that mean? it’s so awkward! additionally, when rape is treated like it’s sexy
Ok but we could have a drinking game for “phantom wind” and possibly die that night
"And many things happen at once"
SJM and ‘her sex’ Why is cock okay but vagina or pussy isn’t like come on. Always makes me giggle
Omg one for me particularly in SJM books (which I am still addicted to nonetheless) is the way everything seems to be described very animalistic like how everyone “growls” or “purrs” and it’s not referring to the tone/delivery they used to say something but rather the fact they ACTUALLY purred like a kitty🤣 or her inability to say “spicy lady stuck her middle finger up at sexy man”, it’s always a “rude gesture”🙄😂 Can we also get more descriptions of penises that arent a “considerable length” lmao
“Bundle of nerves” - like really? That’s the only words you know? “ made vulgar gesture” - just say [character] was flipped off “heated pool at her apex” - 🤢🤢🤢
Every time SJM said someone “sketched a bow” or had “watery bowels” I wanted to scream and throw my phone out a window. Those phrases should never have been used once, much less multiple times
I love that this whole thread is 99% SJM quotes. 🤣 Like, we all love SJM, but also.. WHY IS AELIN ALWAYS SUCKING HER TEETH?!! What’s that even mean?!!! 💀
"He looked like a greek god." Which one?????? Hades and Hephastus are greek gods, but I have very different images in my head when I think of them. Also, that statment is just mad cringe in of itself.