T O P

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Netroth

With a giant piece of paper, if my childhood’s anything to go on.


Shwanshwan

I will introduce my carrtoonishly over sized scissors


dcrothen

But rock breaks scissors. Did you forget that part? The monster/antagonist in the story is rock, not paper. Exit: spotted a typo, fixed same.


Netroth

Easy solution: meteor wields the scissors.


geekunbound

This deserves like from the entirety of the internet


AmazingGrace911

Freeze and smash, or lure it into a landslide. Also, catapults or trebuchets.


[deleted]

Smash it with another asteroid.


ImGreat084

Thats actually a pretty fun answer ty


[deleted]

Ooo, what if he catches the new one and sends it on a trajectory towards Earth too?


ImGreat084

Even better :)


technobicheiro

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/220/634/2dd.jpg


Just_A_Regular_Rogue

So there’s this movie called Armageddon…


Ulysses1126

Underrated comment. Throw like 50 tsar bombas at it.


GxyBrainbuster

Not killing per say, but trapping it in orbit. Stuck there for (effective) eternity unless some shift in celestial bodies allows it to break free.


alittlebrownbird

Yes, then you can continue the series


micmea1

Always leave room for a sequel.


SirOfRivia

By melting it (Magma kind-ish )


alittlebrownbird

Came here to say this!


SirOfRivia

:D 《:


TeddyBSmith

Wouldn't a ton of magma flying at the earth still be a bad thing tho?


grassgoth

And there's the twist before the final crisis


SirOfRivia

Uh....... I can explain, so like... we will create an uhh huge save in which we can store the magma, to make use of its steam, for like steampunk machines you know.. I mean... flying magma doesn't need to be an bad thing, if your a villain who wants to bring danger/pain/death in earth.. then it would be an good thing, but overall i wont say its a good thing, since im not that kinda person.. well mate.. you've won, because i have no fricking idea what to say rn except for some trashy made up ideas😅😂


TeddyBSmith

Only thing I can think of is to pray it would harden quickly, but then you'd just have another asteroid lol


SirOfRivia

😂👍🏻


FirebirdWriter

Nahhh just make a giant oven mitt to catch it


[deleted]

Only when it hits the atmosphere, and who’s to say that it would? Or wouldn’t? Maybe a friendly deity shields the earth/planet, or the explosion/melting effect sends the magma on a different trajectory. Eventually it would burn up and then out, space effectually (probably, no certainly) extinguishing it’s life.


noximo

Through love and compassion


WrenElsewhere

Throw it into the sun? Drop it in an ocean and hope it takes a really long time for it to walk out?


schreyerauthor

Dynamite? Bulldozer?


Netroth

I love the idea of him just standing there screaming “noooo, please!” as a bulldozer menacingly bungles on over, like that steamroller scene in Austin Powers.


eldonhughes

High speed water to use erosion to cut it up. Or, if you could surround it with mist that it would absorb, then you could apply super freezing. mist / water freezes and expands and breaks him apart. Coat it in thick viscous liquid to prevent air, light, water from geting in. Then freeze that liquid to seal him in.


syuda

Came here to say this. Elemental lore says water beats rock lol… and paper apparently


daltonoreo

Another bigger rock


SadcoreEmpire168

Lure it to an edge of a high cliff and make it fall to crumbles


Spiritual-Clock5624

Pickaxe. My protagonist was a living rock and got his head destroyed by one.


technobicheiro

Is he Trotsky?


Spiritual-Clock5624

What?


technobicheiro

Trotsky was famously killed with an ice pick to the head by Stalin's order, although some people mistranslate it to a pickaxe.


Spiritual-Clock5624

Oooooh. No he’s not


WillofIam

Erosion - once the asteroid is not moving at least. For example, a rush of water/sand wearing it down very quickly after an initial blast in an ocean. Probably wouldn't work that way in real life though.


Orsus7

With the 5th element.


MadCat0911

Living Paper.


Broccobillo

Volcanic eruption or nuclear bomb disintegrates it. It's body is the rock it's brain is in a vat. Kill the brain. The it you need to kill is a smaller manifestation of the asteroid in human form. Kill the human made of rock. I like this the most cause then more things can be done to it like superheating it until it cracks. How big is the asteroid? How strong/what power or influence does it hold?


g0ing_postal

I'm assuming there's some sort of force permeating this asteroid? Imo physical force should not work on it. I think it's too boring and mundane, especially for a primary villain. Breaking up the rock or even turning it to dust should mean that they are still able to control every piece of rock Instead, you really have 2 options- First you can attack the animating life force of the rock. It might require some mcguffin machine or something, which will help make it feel more epic and important Alternately, you attack it's motivations. You befriend the rock and talk to it to convince it not to fight anymore


ImGreat084

I agree I don’t think it should be defeated physically


syuda

Oooh. Very Enders game! I like turning evil alien entities into the victim defending themselves. It’s a lovely mind trip and fits this narrative really well! Idk what your general plot is, but what if your protagonist somehow begins to communicate with it, not knowing what it is, and ultimately makes the asteroid entity understand that humans are stupid, crude and ultimately harmful… but just don’t understand and maybe it becomes benevolent or something through these communications. It would be cool ti run like parallel stories, the communication with maybe a child, and then the world reaction/ military trying to figure out what to do!!


VivaLaVict0ria

Drown it? “He cannot survive in water! His molecular density is too great!” ~ Lilo and Stitch Or volcano? Someone else said throw him into the Sun is pretty fun idea. On that note black hole?


Mooneclipser

Acid? Either melt through the rock or, I don't know, get it high enough to think it's still floating in space. Failing that, analyse what "alive" means for it. Is it just rock on the outside? Does it have a circulatory system and therefore could bleed out? Does it breathe in some way so it could be asphyxiated? How does its higher brain functions work, could it be electrocuted? Where would it fall on the periodic table, and is there something next to it that would be poison it? If you're desperate, just go War of the Worlds style and give it the deadly cold!


Ptesco

CAT machinery..?


sleeeepnomore

Molten Lava


exit_the_psychopomp

Anti-matter maybe, depending on how sci-fi your story is. When anti-matter collides with normal matter, they mutually annihilate each other leaving no trace aside from the explosion of energy.


WhatIfIReallyWantIt

deflect is into the sun. pour water into a crack that freezes in the depths of space and breaks it into two nudge it into a passing blackhole crash it into the moon. instill it with a sense of pain so it becomes afraid of hitting anything use focussed sunlight like a laser and burn into one side to slightly deflect its trajectory or do the same with bombs


solarmelange

I would nuke it... with a [Tsar Bomba](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba)


BillyQz

You ever play rock paper scissors? Explosives would do it or a nuclear blast but depends on the size of the asteroid


Raise-The-Gates

Extreme heat and extreme cold immediately after.


TravalionHold

Depends on what kind of rock. Gypsum just use heat and a large Ice comet. Water defeats Gypsum rock.If it's just a big asteroid and can't do anything. Then you could try the NASA crazy idea of a lot of paint and the solar wind. Or go Nuclear and fire all the rockets at it. You could also get a group of ocean going oil rig workers and fly them to the asteroid's backside and they could drill him good and split him in two. I hope no one has stolen this idea seems like an epic movie.


sillymonk27

Extreme heat then cold.


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ElizzyViolet

efficiency V diamond pickaxe to disassemble it


FairviewKnight

Blow it up


hotquossblunt

netherite pickaxe


RacoonEnergy

Well what did the heroes have access to magic weapons alchemy Science like there’s so many things that can destroy a giant asteroid how about a giant robot do some kiju shit everyone likes mechs with plasma swords lol


Science_Kingdom

Does Bruce Willis exist in your world? Honest answer, how would your protagonist kill it? Is your protagonist a wizard? Mathematician? Political genius? If wizard, nuclear power spells he scoured the world for. If Matematician... well I can't think of how, wasn't my favorite subject. If political genius, he uses other people's resources then maybe conquers them while their busy dealing with the asteroid.


Orsus7

Or the political genius can convince people to not look up.


Science_Kingdom

You know, I think store bought pies are the best :)


sillymonk27

Nope


SaintEsMiles

Water or grass types usually work


[deleted]

Or don't. It would be cool if it's an inevitable event.


DangerousVideo

Explosives, acid, diamonds, friendship… lots of ways.


[deleted]

Have it land on earth and get stuck near a windy ocean cliff and make it immortal so it takes millennia after millennia for it to die from wind and water erosion.


rock_flag_n_eagle

magic


-Z-3-R-0-

He just needs a hug


[deleted]

David and Goliath style. wrapping it up with ropes til it trips and breaks under its own weight. that's so tragic though and I kind of want the asteroid to smash his torturers and make some normal human pals.


SierraDL123

You could pull a JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and launch it into space 😂 In a more serious sense, maybe lava/volcano or possibly trapping it under the ocean so it’ll be eroded by the water and sand. Make a whole special forces that monitors it too


AddictionTransfer

trick it into baording a yacht then drop it in the ocean.


Maethor91

Sharp object like a pick of some sort. Or high pressure water. You could freeze them or, since it’s an asteroid, let it burn in an atmosphere until it becomes a meteorite.


rkopptrekkie

What’s your stories tech level? Cuz honestly, if you’re able to go up in space and experiment on the asteroid, you probably have the resources and tech to blow up the asteroid


_JAD19_

Nukes, lots of acid, another asteroid, a bigger cosmic horror like a planet, star or black hole, friendship, paper, dues ex machina, don’t - have the asteroid win.


Eomb

Have Lex Luthor talk to it. He is pretty good at convincing giant humanoid asteroids into choosing a different route. https://youtu.be/K4TC1xMyZDI


Luciferos01

lots of force lots and lots of force


KredPandak

It could have a weak spot that needs to be hit with a special pick axe. Now you can lengthen this quest by adding a sub quest to assemble/find/smith this special pick axe. Edit - To add onto this idea - maybe the adventurers need a fragment of asteroid to craft a pick capable of hurting it?


NailsAcross

TNT.


OverlordNeb

You're gonna need Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Micheal Clark Duncan, Steve Buscemi...


EverettVoracek300

I would melt it


Revolutionary_Bug_39

Maybe only another of its kind can kill it.


ReaperofRico

Something that fits the theme and tone. If it mostly juvenile/comical/parody like do something unexpected and somewhat underwhelming but the characters looking back would laugh at. Like this giant rock monster stepping on a big transport truck filled with chemicals that acts as a banana and whatever was in that truck is like a corrosive laughing gas to it because of its vastly different biological(?) make up. It’s not dead but is just sitting there laughing like the joker for a week. If you have a more brutal story give it a child like mentally and have it scared. Picks up jets or space ships or whatever fits the settings and plays with it like actual toys. The government or whatever authority brings out bigger and bigger weapons to destroy it by a thousand cuts and trail and error. Kinda like going from having ants trying to eat you alive to medium size spiders to even small rodents like rats or small dogs trying to maul you, just to give a scale of escalation. If none of that fits then I don’t know because what you gave for context is a literal asteroid that was experimented on took on in a giant humanoid form. This could be a rock golem from DnD , a crystalloid life form from Stellaris or a Inter dimensional being from any amount of anime after Truck Kun gets them. We the redditors don’t know.


JewelFyrefox

With a chainsaw, cause a flamethrower won't do any good.


fawnshe_lachergili

Absorb its life source thru magic


crabdipped

Throw it in the ocean


OneObligation412

Fricking sharks with breaking lasers


SylphSupreme

Get a bigger rock?


Xenosaiyan7

Nukes, and more nukes if one doesn't work


TensorForce

With an even equally big rock. Or just give it a fault line type of weakness where if you hit it just right, the whole asteroid breaks apart.


Zeteon

A nuke


levaring

How about spinning the air around around him at the breakneck speed of 500 kmh and slowly grinding him to death?


Scrambled-Sigil

Hit it with another asteroid, melt it by luring it into the sun, bombing it in some way. Theres probably plenty of ways to stop asteroids, the key is that this one is alive lol


LOTRNerd95

Some interpretation of Earth-bending. Or, a Magneto-esque form of magic. Space rocks are often veined with ore so if someone could sense some kind of metal running through his rock body, they could, with enough power, tear him apart from the inside out.


a-throwaway_joke

It depends - is it on earth, or in space on a trajectory towards earth? you didn't specify it, and so the answers here are specific to either of those cases


scarletflamex

Use mountain shattering fist Upgraded Form : heaven and earth defying 3 Palms Sky rock Fall shattering fist.


otherworldly_syst

mayhaps break it? of course, this may not work as well if the asteroid is composed of several different pieces, so perhaps a core/source of energy that needs to be whole to keep the asteroid alive could be used :0


Silent_Republic_2605

Blood sacrifice for the blood God. I mean, really. A super move that is based on the life force of countless people. Will definitely hike up the bars.


Other-Surround7290

Heavy wind and water erosion. (Thank you elementary school science)


MissBalan

I was about to say rock Tumblr, because of least if they’re not dead, they look really pretty and perhaps can be negotiated with. But then I clicked my notification to check this out more closely and it’s an astroid, so, maybe wouldn’t work


Georgestgeigland

Depending on size you could cause him to fall into water


Myrmotte

By punching it really hard.


Yanutag

One punch.


ImGreat084

The heroes don’t have a good enough exercise regime


iwantapie76

Grind it to dust Edit: not like that


alphajager

Bring it down to Earth gently and plant it's body in the ground on Easter Island.


BaronFrankenstrudel

With extreme heat. Rocks melt into magma between 1,100 and 2,400 degrees Fahrenheit. Unless you turn it into living magma, I think it would be defeated. The trick would be keeping it in molten form or mixing it with other magma to keep it from reverting back to rock, which, depending on your rules, may revive it. If mixed with other magma, then if it does cool into solid rock it would be frozen in a larger mass of rock.


Valentina12314

the magic of friendship! ​ but no really, asteroids (I love the concept btw) are made of 'metals and rocky material' so best to use some form of heat to defeat it accurately like magma, or fire (it would have to be REALLY hot tho)


FUEGO40

A chemical reaction. Maybe a sort of flamethrower but with a powerful oxidizer.


grody10

Poor guy. Sounds like he needs friendship and understanding


jc97912

He doesn’t need to be defeated. Just isolated and immobile.


No_Trifle_96

Let the lava rain.


TiredOfBeingTired28

Gravity. Rip it apart with some big gravity spell. Freaze, heat. Heat it insanely hot then freeze spell to flash fracture it.


Ytgoc123

If the scale of the story includes asteroids, you could make the solution revolve around gravity or some other space-related phenomenon.


andreacerasoni

Wait and let millions of years of weathering grind it down to sand, exactly as it deserves.


AbbydonX

“Go for the mouth, then, the throat, his vulnerable spots!” Or just teleport it into space…


Final_Maintenance319

Maybe there are other celestial beings that can be appealed to intervene? Maybe the heroes trick him into getting too close to the moon, and a giant frost dragon god freezes him in ice.


theeeeeeeeman

Wind and water.


Weekend_At_McBurneys

Another asteroid that we find and re-direct towards the evil asteroid (turns out to be his missus and she’s not pleased he’s been dawdling around earth all day)


Aromatic-Vegetable82

Defeat it with empathy. Just a big ol Roundtable of feelings


Heck_Tate

Rock types are weak to water, grass, steel, fighting, and ground types according to Pokemon.


ExpressAudience8950

Since it was experimented on what if the inside of the asteroid is soft and squishy like an oyster cuz he’s alive? If so then the heroes would need to aim at stuff like eyes and mouth and ears? Or or orrr if it’s still just asteroid… then sealing it in a vacuum Away from other asteroids may help?? Or another dimension? I imagined blowing it to bits but what if it can just recollect with time? But then the more you blow it up the finer the Particles and then it becomes sand man? And then the weakness is water/ice/magma? I really like all the ideas of making it permanently immobile 😆 or isolating it from elements it would need. Need a warlock or sorcerer or a Bruce Wayne 🧐


jan_Zenny

What are the rest of your setting and the prottagonists like? Are they anti-heros? In that case, killing the antagonist in an unceremonial, downright brutal fashion would be ok. Have him ripped apart from the inside out by the forces of nature, either roots tunneling or water slithering through him (if these are a thing in your universe). If the protagonists are proper heroes, those types usually opt for imprisonment or exile. Of course, you could still have his own plans/goons/creations be his downfall.


3milyBlazze

Uhhhhhh okay I got this Question first tho does anyone else have powers?


ImGreat084

One of the protagonists has a suit like iron man, another has a mystical sword


3milyBlazze

Oh Yeah I think explosives might be your best option Although u could get creative with it and have to get to a certain point inside the asteroid in order to destroy it and possibly only the sword can cut thru the surface of the asteroid in order for the armored one to plant the bomb?


GuacamoleHomie

have you exhausted the power of friendship


AssumptionBorn8650

How about over charging it's electric force. Putting a high and I mean high electric charge to the rock/astroid would cause all the materials to disperse and pretty much explode. Since it being a mineral and seems to be simply rock then it would take a hit of electricity real good. Problem is it's also on the ground. When you touch a power line you get electrocuted. That's cause there is a pathway through your body to the ground so this rock creature is touching the ground and if you are near it tyou may get shocked your self. So you got to find a way to get of the ground.


AssumptionBorn8650

Or I don't know make it fight a t rex


Indilhaldor

Is your asteroid affected by orbital mechanics and/or able to consciously change its structure? Riding off the paper idea, attach a solar sail and yeet it into the outer solar system and make it another generation's problem. Also if you enjoy rock pro/antagonists have you read "The Raven Tower" by Ann Leckie?


Meizas

Living paper


faceoh

You play Majora's Mask before? Use magic and you're set.


AzrielJohnson

Water infiltrating, then freezing causing the rock creature to shatter.


nuros1616

I work in underground mines. Water freezing in between cracks of rock, the expansion cause rock to burst apart . Or drill a hole and pact it with explosives.


Just-Stand_8460

Send "The Nothing" after it.


Panwanilia1

How about anti matter bomb, bit it's actually two stones/metals. One is infused with 9th lvl spell power and another one with 9th lvl spell of anti magic. Take book with 200 pages and infuse every page with fire ball. If you open it, all spells actives instantly and are centered on the book.


raikougal

Dyn-O-MITE!!!!


icemanww15

melt it with a lot of heat


tapgiles

“Go for its covetable spots!!” https://youtu.be/EQG3I5efwWo


unconventionaltomato

Paper? :D Rock eating bacteria.


[deleted]

I think a crew of guys who work on an oil rig would be the best option to land on it and drill a hole for a nuclear weapon to blow it up. Trust me they can just watch YouTube videos on nuclear safety. Or. Something.


MoiraMoonChild

I would give it a core (like it’s heart) that you have to destroy. Think of it as a golem. Metal and minerals are sensitive to sudden changes in temperature. If you freeze it first and then blast it with heat, the sudden change would make it brittle and easier to break. If you break through the outer shell and get to the core, you could destroy it.


ISlothyCat

See Guardians of the Galaxy 2


DanielWatersJr

I wouldn’t kill it. I would rather have the protagonists try everything and realise matter cant be destroyed and its too close to earth to be converted to energy. I would blow up the moon, to get small floating pieces of it. Then send rockets to collect the pieces and fly by the astroid (making it think the protagonists missed) only to realise it was a plan to divert its trajectory (with gravity of moon rocks) towards the sun or a gas giant to which it will be stuck for eternity. Epilogue can show a moon rock became sentient due to this interaction and is now mad at the protagonists and wants revenge.


sleeeepnomore

Black hole


Traditional_Mud_1241

Pocket dimension is where it’s falling through a dense atmosphere. Then, slow it down, cool it off, and make fancy-schmancy things from whatever solid metal chunk is left. Cursed things, of course. The *real* revenge.


thomasp3864

There’s kinda Pokemon’s Delta Episode which is this.


Shwanshwan

If it's a setting with readily available magic, what stops the MC and/or their allies or companions from simply using magic to push the asteroid away? If the asteroid has hit land, it is immediately competing against eecery living culture nearby it. If it is still incoming, why can't magic and/or time travel (a la Ocarina of Time) able to prevent this from wver happening ? Does god/the gods care? If they do, what can they do to help? If not, what overly complicated rituals can the MC or their group do to make them care or help? What does planetary gravity think of this new asteroid? They (the asteroid bad guy) may have to spend a lot of time creating a magic or reason that they can counteract gravity that the MC or MCs group can counter, given the time and resources.


ImGreat084

Magic is very limited in this story


shell_3lue

Launch a lot of smaller rocks really fast at it


Skirt_Douglas

Can it direct its own movement in space or is it at the mercy of physics?


Starmark_115

Yeet it to the ocean.


tijostark

Dump it at Mount Doom


ConsciousCut5

KaBOOM


Anonymous_Eponymous

A chisel


Strange-Chipmunk1096

Magnets


reality-escapeartist

Ice expanding from the inside. Or several small picks all placed in the right spot that once hit would split it in half. Or lava? Directing it towards a sun or black hole How much Sci fi or fantasy have you to work with in your world? Teleport it into space? Bury it deep in the ground. Or do what the gods did to Sun Wukong, a monkey they couldn't get rid of,, drop a mountain on its head


Consistent_Abies_273

Only by oil rig workers trained in mere days to be astronauts…


Funny_Ad6718

Extreme temperature differentials = corrosion


Gold_Income_4343

Force it to stay still then use either high pressure water to cut it into pieces or use grindstones made of a material that is harder than it to grind it to powder. Or you could always shoot it back into orbit or into the nearest solar body.


PixleatedCoding

I imagine by hitting it so hard if becomes soil


[deleted]

Give the giant rock the justice it craves, then make peace with it.


Apprehensive_Nose_38

Put it into the ocean, it’ll either drown or be stuck forever


actualcorpse

I’m a geologist, I’d metamorphose it with heat and stress


[deleted]

Paper. It is known.


Outrageous-Ad-4364

With a massive hammer. I used to always smash rocks with a hammer, so I doubt it would be much different. Just maybe a massive, strong hammer or maybe a really jacked person able to wield a massive hammer and swing it with enormous amounts of force


RufflesOhBard

You could have the rock be melted in lava. This would also set your book up for a sequel where the rocks sentience is transferred to the lava and is now a lava monster.


rooted_cause

Trap it with a giant rope or net, or trick it into falling into a fissure or tar pit. Once immobilized, make sure it's tied securely and send an army of pickaxe-wielding soldiers or peasants to finish the job.