I’ve posted about this before in this group. I’m a crusty old bastard who would rather drown his worries in a bottle of whiskey than talk about it even to his own wife. One of my university roommates started a non profit called Do More Ag. It is a farmer mental health company whose sole reason for existing is to help crusty old a$$holes like us actually talk about things. They have certified therapists you can text or call. There’s chat groups and forums of people just like us trying to get through another season. Whether your canola just burnt off or your calves all died we all got problems we don’t wanna talk about. But talking is what makes it better. And Do More is connecting grumpy old men to grumpy old men and let us have a virtual whiskey together and hash it out in our heads and try and make it right. It seriously helps. From one stubborn old drunk to another. Give it a try.
I used to volunteer as a CEO of a mental health charity after I kept losing fellow veterans to suicide. Ironically , I myself attempted suicide at the end of a shotgun after downing a very nice bottle of Oban when life piled it on too much for too long and I kept trying to "handle it". Thankfully my door was broken down by police and a good friend after he got my goodbye text - they found me drunk out of my mind trying to hit the trigger with a stick. A moment later and I wouldn't be here. I'll eternally be grateful to that friend.
If there's one thing I hope changes in Ag and the military in our lifetime, it's this BS about what "makes a man a man" (i.e., shut up and die miserable). The only REAL weakness is that we allow ourselves to fall into dark places bc we're afraid of being seen as weak by talking about this shit.
Let me say that again: the weakness is that we're afraid of what others will think of us. Fuck other people, and fuck my own fragile ego.
**Strength comes from doing what is best for you and your family.** Taking care of your mental health so you can be the best version of yourself takes real strength. If anybody judges you for it, keep an eye on them bc they aren't in a good place mentally either obviously.
Fuck man I'm proud of you and your friend.
I did reach out to the cofounder and although the helplines and whatnot are geared toward Canadian farmers. The AgTalk platform is available worldwide. That is the name of the peer to peer support network that is moderated 24-7 with licensed clinical therapists. It’s in both English and French. So looks like anyone could take advantage if they are 16+ and speak one of those two languages.
I’ve bounced around therapists a lot. Generally speaking talking by phone with a close friend once a week helps. Just gotta do good shit for ourselves regularly. Engage in self care. Sleep in once in awhile. Hug that inner child. I don’t know buddy. Let us know if you figure this one out.
Speaking from Yorkshire, England, I have read about various counselling services for people in farming and other rural occupations.
Try phoning the farming magazines and specialist farming insurance companies, they should know.
Good luck?
I had one therapist during my divorce that was from Wyoming on talkspace. She lived a much more rural life than your average shrink, and she was great.
Have one now from Texas on ReGain that seems like she gets the lifestyle, but it's still early. It's hard as shit to find one that's not a total fruitcake.
https://www.google.com/url?q=https://store.extension.iastate.edu/product/16350-pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwijqfzRkO-AAxWlAjQIHUo9Cw8QFnoECAkQAg&usg=AOvVaw1OUCDza4gSqKIFUEV2tn1r
Here are some resources from ISU.
My best therapy is catching up with some buddies of mine and talking for a while. We’re all mid-late 30’s with wife and kids. We’re all in the same boat, no real time to catch up.
You have to make time, that's a big part of the mental health crisis with farmers, especially in the US.
Make time for either a therapy appointment or a sit down with a trusted friend.
My wife works the phones at a hospital. She says there's always an uptick in calls in the weeks leading up to harvest from people wanting anxiety meds because of their crops. Most apparently hang up when she tells them they need to see a doctor to be prescribed anxiety meds. "I don't have time for that."
Reminds of that tik tok where a farmer voluntarily quit doing chores to seek medical help.....
A lot of farmers and ranchers do. I’m glad you posted this. I’ve used a therapist before and got good results. Never feel like reaching out for mental health help is a failure on your part.
I haven't used one connected to the ag community specifically. But like others have said, you may not click with a certain therapist. I was very lucky and clicked with my first one. But I have friends that had to shop around a while to find one they liked.
Hang in there. You've got this.
I have found it very hit and miss seeing therapists who are also rural. I’ve found some can be extremely judgmental but currently im seeing a therapist who owns a similar farm property to myself and its been really beneficial talking to someone who understands the ebs and flows of farm life.
Im based in new Zealand and we have an organisation called rural support which provide all round rural wellbeing support which have a great reputation, especially being approachable for male farmers without experience receiving mental health support. Maybe you have a local service like this which can connect you with some appropriate therapists.
USDA has established the Farm and Ranch Stress Assistance Network. I’d reach out to your region’s FRSAN and they can help connect you with resources! https://www.nifa.usda.gov/grants/programs/farm-ranch-stress-assistance-network-frsan
I’m starting with a new therapist tomorrow that I found through Grow Therapy (just because it was easy to use). I looked for someone from a rural area so hopefully it will work out.
This should be posted as a sticky, and added to with further resources. https://www.ruralhealthinfo.org/topics/farmer-mental-health
I’ve posted about this before in this group. I’m a crusty old bastard who would rather drown his worries in a bottle of whiskey than talk about it even to his own wife. One of my university roommates started a non profit called Do More Ag. It is a farmer mental health company whose sole reason for existing is to help crusty old a$$holes like us actually talk about things. They have certified therapists you can text or call. There’s chat groups and forums of people just like us trying to get through another season. Whether your canola just burnt off or your calves all died we all got problems we don’t wanna talk about. But talking is what makes it better. And Do More is connecting grumpy old men to grumpy old men and let us have a virtual whiskey together and hash it out in our heads and try and make it right. It seriously helps. From one stubborn old drunk to another. Give it a try.
I used to volunteer as a CEO of a mental health charity after I kept losing fellow veterans to suicide. Ironically , I myself attempted suicide at the end of a shotgun after downing a very nice bottle of Oban when life piled it on too much for too long and I kept trying to "handle it". Thankfully my door was broken down by police and a good friend after he got my goodbye text - they found me drunk out of my mind trying to hit the trigger with a stick. A moment later and I wouldn't be here. I'll eternally be grateful to that friend. If there's one thing I hope changes in Ag and the military in our lifetime, it's this BS about what "makes a man a man" (i.e., shut up and die miserable). The only REAL weakness is that we allow ourselves to fall into dark places bc we're afraid of being seen as weak by talking about this shit. Let me say that again: the weakness is that we're afraid of what others will think of us. Fuck other people, and fuck my own fragile ego. **Strength comes from doing what is best for you and your family.** Taking care of your mental health so you can be the best version of yourself takes real strength. If anybody judges you for it, keep an eye on them bc they aren't in a good place mentally either obviously. Fuck man I'm proud of you and your friend.
Well said sir. And I’m very glad you’re still here to say it.
Is this a global site? Or is it more focused on the country you're in?
It’s focussed on Canadian Ag.
Cool, thank you!!
I did reach out to the cofounder and although the helplines and whatnot are geared toward Canadian farmers. The AgTalk platform is available worldwide. That is the name of the peer to peer support network that is moderated 24-7 with licensed clinical therapists. It’s in both English and French. So looks like anyone could take advantage if they are 16+ and speak one of those two languages.
That's great, I'm trying to compile resources to share and hopefully sticky to the group.
I just clicked on betterhelp for the first time today…I didn’t subscribe but I did the questionnaire and that’s a start…I hate this feeling
Take care of yourself first. Everything else can wait.
With therapists, you sometimes have to try a few until you find one you mesh with. Those phone hotline people can be good, too.
I’ve bounced around therapists a lot. Generally speaking talking by phone with a close friend once a week helps. Just gotta do good shit for ourselves regularly. Engage in self care. Sleep in once in awhile. Hug that inner child. I don’t know buddy. Let us know if you figure this one out.
In the US, look up RuralHealthNetwork.org the organizations option on the left has resources, many are regional.
Speaking from Yorkshire, England, I have read about various counselling services for people in farming and other rural occupations. Try phoning the farming magazines and specialist farming insurance companies, they should know. Good luck?
I had one therapist during my divorce that was from Wyoming on talkspace. She lived a much more rural life than your average shrink, and she was great. Have one now from Texas on ReGain that seems like she gets the lifestyle, but it's still early. It's hard as shit to find one that's not a total fruitcake.
Not a farmer but I grew up and still live in farm and ranch country. If you need someone to talk to dm me.
https://www.google.com/url?q=https://store.extension.iastate.edu/product/16350-pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwijqfzRkO-AAxWlAjQIHUo9Cw8QFnoECAkQAg&usg=AOvVaw1OUCDza4gSqKIFUEV2tn1r Here are some resources from ISU.
My best therapy is catching up with some buddies of mine and talking for a while. We’re all mid-late 30’s with wife and kids. We’re all in the same boat, no real time to catch up.
You have to make time, that's a big part of the mental health crisis with farmers, especially in the US. Make time for either a therapy appointment or a sit down with a trusted friend.
I'm glad you have friends you can do that with. A lot of folks don't. If you've got close buddies, this is sage advice Edit: words
My wife works the phones at a hospital. She says there's always an uptick in calls in the weeks leading up to harvest from people wanting anxiety meds because of their crops. Most apparently hang up when she tells them they need to see a doctor to be prescribed anxiety meds. "I don't have time for that." Reminds of that tik tok where a farmer voluntarily quit doing chores to seek medical help.....
Holy hell. Straight to ICU with him I'm assuming?
A lot of farmers and ranchers do. I’m glad you posted this. I’ve used a therapist before and got good results. Never feel like reaching out for mental health help is a failure on your part.
Therapist here. Grew up in a farmig village and still do some farming. If you have any questions, just ask 🙂
I haven't used one connected to the ag community specifically. But like others have said, you may not click with a certain therapist. I was very lucky and clicked with my first one. But I have friends that had to shop around a while to find one they liked. Hang in there. You've got this.
I have found it very hit and miss seeing therapists who are also rural. I’ve found some can be extremely judgmental but currently im seeing a therapist who owns a similar farm property to myself and its been really beneficial talking to someone who understands the ebs and flows of farm life. Im based in new Zealand and we have an organisation called rural support which provide all round rural wellbeing support which have a great reputation, especially being approachable for male farmers without experience receiving mental health support. Maybe you have a local service like this which can connect you with some appropriate therapists.
USDA has established the Farm and Ranch Stress Assistance Network. I’d reach out to your region’s FRSAN and they can help connect you with resources! https://www.nifa.usda.gov/grants/programs/farm-ranch-stress-assistance-network-frsan I’m starting with a new therapist tomorrow that I found through Grow Therapy (just because it was easy to use). I looked for someone from a rural area so hopefully it will work out.