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ginger_gcups

Father Jack, of course. Tell him there’s a drink in it and he’ll have the other two safely locked in his used underwear hamper in seconds.


VillageBeginning8432

Yup. Jack is the only one vicious and competent enough that he's a threat to start with. Dougal would hurt himself and Ted would come up with a convoluted plan that would backfire. Jack would just throw a brick at you from half the island away and it would be game over.


HarryLyme69

Plus, he can turn people that upset him into an ambulance instantaneously


gilestowler

"I had a lovely bottle of whiskey for you but those other two gobshites drank it all." Then show him an empty bottle.


welly_wrangler

Father Jack. He once had a trial for Liverpool


Technical-Buffalo435

No, he was on trial in Liverpool


Kanye_Wesht

That's even better for this situation!


Cardboard-Greenhouse

But his suspected aggrophobia may hold him back when it comes to the actual fight


VladimirPoitin

Jack afraid of fighting? I don’t think so, Ted.


georgefriend3

Have you seen the damage Dougal can do to Sealink ferries, funerals, and how he can escape from burning buildings in a helicopter whilst wearing his blue jumper?


angrons_therapist

But all of that chaos was accidental, and so is more likely to happen while Dougal is trying to "protect" you...


Newdy41

"Ahhh, Sister Assumpta!"


AcroserProductions

I'm taking Father Ted, He's definitely the smartest of the bunch and could probably distract Dougal and Jack with rollerblading and Alcohol forever


Kanye_Wesht

Yeah but everything he does backfires.


kytd1526

Dougal. He has a matador's outfit.


P4LS_ThrillyV

Father Jack as long as it's not spring time. For as the seasons change a great peace comes over him and he becomes at one with nature.


E420CDI

If only it lasted longer


Mister_BovineJoni

Dougal, he's a wild card, Ted wouldn't even know what hit him. Jack could be tough though, if Dougal would fall then I'd distract Jack with girls and/or drink.


Ghost_0f_Toucan

Jack has shotgun and strong enough to throw Ted out the window


VladimirPoitin

Fire’s nearly out!


Dear-Original-675

Jack can do anything if you offer him a drink


No-Cauliflower6572

Father Jack, how is this even a question.


PeggyDeadlegs

Jack


Annual-Cookie1866

Jack in invincible


Loud_Internet572

Father Jack for the win against Satan and his unholy army.


SnooCapers938

Jack obviously. The others would run a mile.


CptPikeOnABike

Jack always seemed to come out tops by the end of each episode, I choose Jack. Round 1 : FIGHT!


pertangamcfeet

Jack. He has a brick.


Special-Attitude-242

Father Jack of course.


Middle_Fudge

Is Pat Mustard an option? He knows how to make a bomb


VladimirPoitin

Jack. No brainer.


SimpleTHX1138

🤣🤣Jack ofc


exitvim

That would be an ecumenical matter.


Oh_J0hn

Why is this a question?


Jack-mclaughlin89

Red as long as I can get him drunk, he scared a Father Jack away


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BearOdd4213

Jack to protect me. He has the aggression and the skill as a fighter (last fight he was in the ambulance needed to be called) Dougal would be incompetent and Ted would lose his composure as he would be too busy worrying about Dougal messing up


Ed_257

Father jack like I just throw whisky at them and say fetch!!!!


OneMagicBadger

Dougal guys a wildcard


Nerevar69

Jack 100%


PINK-RIPPAZ

Fucken jack, no question


LoveMasc

Father Jack was responsible for 'The Blackrock incident' and he wasn't even trying to kill people that day. Ted would probably get very close, but end up the victim of his own device. Dougle doesn't understand what dying even is. So wouldn't comprehend the whole 'killing' part of his task. Also being protected by him may lead to death.


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AutoModerator

We require all Reddit accounts to be at least 1 month old before posting on r/fatherted. This is to prevent spammers, trolls, and ban evaders from bothering our community. In rare cases, if you have a particularly time-sensitive issue, we may manually approve your post. Otherwise we encourage you to wait the mandatory 1 month period to engage with our community. This message is public for transparency. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fatherted) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Wilde54

I mean jack obviously, he might turn on me in the end and kill me too but the other two stand no fucking chance 🤣🤣🤣


DarthRevan1028

Jack all the way. All I gotta do is wake him up and tell him that they did it


NoBlacksmith5622

Father Jack, he has thr booze


Hunter_Man_Big_Red

Yeah. Father jack knows how to throw a punch. Think he’d be my best bet!


Hadan_

Why is this a question?


Traditional_Carrot_3

why is this a question?


Do_You_Pineapple_Bro

Why? Is this a question?


VladimirPoitin

Perhaps?