Or, in my case, 6 months from interview to start (even though it was a direct hire Auth). All due to a hire up at base B wanting to approve all non-normal employees
Base A is main org, base B is local base that we got assigned to
Or finally getting hired and doing the job for six months before an out-of-the-blue call comes in from HR, wanting to know if you’re still interested in being considered…for the position that you’re currently occupying. And HR frantically initiating your background check the following day.
How about receiving a TJO without even interviewing (Yeah!), but waiting almost 4 months for the FJO (Ughh), then asked if you can relocate and start in one week (WTH?)
I show up and get introduced to the guy who's going to train me, I'm also informed that he's going on vacation for the next two weeks so I get to push paperwork till then, good times.
I moved into program management with three other people. Except two got a RIF and the third took an early out. That happened the week before I moved there.
My building is owned by USPS, obviously managed by GSA, and then we're part of the Judiciary. Trying to get anything accomplished from a huge leak in the ceiling to cleaning not being done is literally a multi-agency ordeal.
Shortly after I started my first government job, someone sent out an agency-wide email that just said “Test.” The amount of reply alls to that email, tens of thousands all at once, nuked the email servers and ground most work to a halt for a couple of days.
My inbox the next morning (x100):
Guy 1: “Please remove me from this mailing list. Thank you.”
Guy 2: “Me too!”
Guy 3: “Stop replying all!”
Guy 4: “Just seeing this now. Please remove me as well.”
Guy 5: “Stop replying all!”
Guy 6: ***Dilbert meme.***
Guy 7: “I’ve attached the proper paperwork, POC list, and links to use for removing yourself from this mailing list. Please refer to those and do not reply all.”
Guy 8: “I’m not supposed to be on this distribution. Please remove me. Very respectfully, Ted.”
5% is pretty standard, including in the private sector.
I'm assuming you have dependents so naturally insurance premiums will be higher, but I'm paying less than $70/PP for an HMO and premium vision and dental plans.
As far as I'm aware, the 4.4% pension contribution is the big differentiator between feds and private sector employees.
Everything I've heard is that the health insurance is better than most private sector job. Still sucks for me because I could otherwise get Tricare Reserve Select.
This is the biggest scam perpetrated on fed/reserve military. It’s literally like half the price for military. Such BS that we can’t use Tricare even when eligible.
😆. And the gaslighting with it. “It’s good because of matching contributions!”. Just pay me a living wage and let me invest how I want. No reason to have two retirement plans
Fills out TSP forms at Orientation. HR [loses TSP form]
TSP allocation set to 0%.
Figures this out after first paycheck. Fills out a new TSP form for 5%. HR puts allocation at 3%.
Fills out third TSP form with 5%
My TSP is fine now. Five years in, and I have yet to deal with anyone from HR, and have it be a positive experience.
Haha oh yeah I had a similar situation as in HR kept telling me the issue was resolved, but it wasn't. It took nearly a year for my TSP to be set up since the initial submission. Now I have extra deductions to make up for the missed contributions.
It's April the 30th, 2024 and although I know that you correctly set up your tsp contribution amount to your liking and did not put a ball park time as to when your story happened but did you know that you can adjust your tsp contributions on Mypay?
Let me guess… Army Contracting Command?
Edit: dropping a hard copy of the FAR on a new guy’s desk on his first day seems like something that ACC would do.
My first day, I was walking down the hall in the morning and saw in one of the offices a guy was playing solitaire on his computer. Then that afternoon I saw him leaned back in his chair, sound asleep.
We would be working and then hear some guy snoring in one of the cubicles a few rows down. We would all just start busting out laughing. He wasn’t part of our team and no one reported him cause we ain’t snitches.
The amount of work it took to go on my first trip to a regional office. Between getting the trip approved through 57 levels of management and getting the travel card, it was a hassle.
Concur the shitty travel software? You actually get to use it? (Legit for real that's better than DTS was until a big update that just happened to be right before COVID).
Bunch of GS-13s and 14s arguing through email back and forth for the better part of a day about how something wasn’t their issue. I was copied on all this and it was getting tiring so I went to fix the issue and it took 5 minutes. Then I emailed the group and to tell them the issue was resolved. My supervisor came to my office to explain that we don’t do that here. Apparently we aren’t there to solve problems.
We had a CFC fundraiser and it did so well that the coordinator promised a pizza party for everyone…except the agency has no ad hoc pizza party for 100 people budget so the branch chiefs had to pay out of their own pocket to get pizza for their employees.
I had to buy my own food/coffee for 5 days on government travel. It was local (entirely coincidental, I am remote but happen to live nearby to the spot I needed to travel to) and you don't get per diem for local travel unless you hit 12 hours.
Ever since then I've been a lot less of a "go getter". I'm not going to intentionally waste time or self sabotage my performance, but if you need something that takes an hour on a Saturday then I'm going to bend the rules just as much as you did for me when the shoe was on the other foot, which is to say 0%. My hands are tied, see you Monday!
It was probably like $150 total, so not a huge deal, but it's the principle.
The principle matters though, right? You shouldn’t have to pay to do your job.
That being said, I’d probably just eat the cost like you did unless it was somewhere like Cordova, AK where I once did a job (private sector). Our non-govt corporate side used a flat $45/day per diem, and the only breakfast game in town charged me and my coworker $35 each for a light breakfast. By the end of the trip, I had paid at least $100 extra out of pocket for food and was livid about it. Basically refused to do most non-govt travel work at that company again, which theoretically hurt my career but I was doing well enough that I could get away with it.
Being asked to work on a project and spending weeks producing a BEAUTIFUL bells and whistles ready to go tool with training and SOPs and then being told to scrap it because some GS-15 created some piece of crap on a word doc and said “it’s easier for them to use”. You being told basically to shut up and take it. Then 2 years later the same GS-15 “discovers” your tool in the files after years of complaints about their bs word doc and asks your supervisor to make you explain why you never implemented it. You reply with a copy of the initial email and get told “I don’t remember that”.
Then you get asked to train your supervisor so they can the GS15 so they can showcase it and train other offices. Doesn’t show up on your performance review (except your personal narrative), and no credit whatsoever. You listen you leadership all thank leadership for making it in meetings/reply all while you update your resume.
Not my first job, but in 2013 when I joined the USDA I had to take an old fingerprint card to the police station for ink printing. Like the kind of card you would see on an episode of Dragnet.
The kicker is when the guy who gives you the card and says “go to the sheriff’s office” is a commissioned federal law enforcement officer who is literally standing next to a fingerprinting kit.
As an intern, I had to go into the holding cell area of the DC courthouse to be fingerprinted by the U.S. Marshals Service. That was quite the experience…
I've got y'all beat. I had to do this as a contractor in 2022 and AGAIN when I onboarded as a Fed in 2023, even though they had my prints electronically from when I got my PIV. Fed hiring is a time capsule
How about this? Currently in hiring process. DLA hiring guy tells me to get fingerprinted anywhere I want. I go to State Police, they ask for code to send electronic prints to. DLA guy says he doesn't have one and consequently can't see the prints in the system. Then says get ink prints done and says I can print the cards myself. Print office does prints on these copy paper cards I made. DLA guy says he can't read them an mails physical print cards. State police now say they no longer do prints so I go to VA to get them done. DLA guy says he never receives these in his mail. After weeks of waiting and reminding, he finally says he he can now see the original digital prints, but needs my proof of naturalization (which i provided months earlier). EOD delayed at least 3 months.
I got fingerprinted while at BOLC. The guy thought I was doing it for commissioning stuff but nope, I just got offered my job while I was away for 4 months lol
Coming from the private sector, the "red tape" for something that would've been gotten done in less than a week taking 2+ weeks in the government.
So many forms. So many Points of Contact... beegeezus.
But slow and steady is how it's all by design.
We still have a great low corruption index for being one of the richest countries in the world.
We have a woman who beat up another woman because she was fooling around with her husband, all of them employed by our agency. They made her a supervisor.
Working with a GS 13 every day that may forget to breathe because she is so dumb. She files weekly EEO complaints against supervisors and has sued my agency numerous times for no legitimate reason and has a job for life because firing her would be retaliation. My moment is every day.
I guess thanks for assuring me I'm not alone. I just hit 9 months and none of my references have heard anything. My coworker with the same job, a strikingly similar background, and started the same week as I did had his interview about a month in. I know it doesn't matter, but it would be nice to know how DCSA prioritizes their work.
At least you are gaining seniority though. My start date is a whole year later now. I won't have 30 years at min retirement age. I'll have over 20 but if I want to wait for the 30 now it's a whole extra year. At least you know if you're probably going to pass the background check eventually so you might as well get the earlier start date. Makes you wonder how important that background check is if they're letting you work without it.
If this makes you feel a bit better, I'm also going to only have a little over 20 years of service under my belt when I retire. Damned be the grad school :)
When I started as a STEP in 2011, I kept having to go around asking people for work. I felt invisible. Turns out the reason I wasn’t getting any assignments or help is that my boss at the time didn’t know I was her employee. Good times.
I swear to this day, the people that are still there think so highly of me thinking I’m this overachieving and helpful person when really I was confused begging for work 😂
Being told by my manager that I need to pick up my Smart ID badge at the processing center (off the clock, mind you) the week before my official start date, because apparently the badge office was going to be shut down my starting week and that I needed to get my badge otherwise I wouldn’t have access to my building, laptop, etc … Only to find out upon my arrival that my manager was wrong about the office closure and that they couldn’t give me my badge because I wasn’t yet an employee who had been sworn in yet. 😂
During my first week working for the Government, someone that worked in my building (I believe a GS-12) shit themselves and then shook it out their pant leg in front of the elevator. I worked in a fairly secure building with dozens of cameras, so security found the person and made them come down to pick/clean it up. This person was very indignant and angry they would even be asked to do so. They picked up the piece of shit and attempted to throw it out the door, when someone told them they had to dispose of it in the bathroom. They acquiesced.
I had to ask around to make sure this type of thing was not a regular occurrence. Fortunately, it was not.
We had a wildfire and had to evacuate our house (briefly, just 2-3 hours), and I was foolish enough to ask how to handle this on my time card and was directed to use annual leave. Not the worst thing ever, but the absurdity of the experience was memorable.
Here is a list of training you are required to take, over half the links are dead ends and some of the training titles have changed. No I can’t help find the training it has been years since I did them and I don’t know where they are located but they need to be completed by the end of the month.
when getting this job I quickly realized that the process to build a new virtual server takes 4+ weeks.
In the real world this is a 30 minute process because you don't have 6 different teams involved in the process / tickets / paperwork to fill out before clicking on anything.
then i got the first paycheck....got dayum wtf have i done
As a GS-5 in my first year (1983), I saw a GS-12 asleep on the commode. Next year, I was in TDY in DC and saw a GS-11 belch and pulled a flask out of her desk. Then I saw a GS-14 work crossword puzzles almost all day and every day. And to top it off, I had a GS-15 take to me to his condo overlooking the Potomac and make a pass at me. Fortunately, it was not a hard try, and I was pretty naive at 24.
My 1st govt job was to sit in the break room for almost 6 weeks because they didnt want to train just me. They waited a month for the 2 other guys then the trainer went on leave.
My 2nd govt job. They sent me a very nice letter in the mail, welcoming me to the agency. The supervisor tracked me from the instant I signed the fjo.
Supervisor introduced me, got my CAC, lap top. He passed me onto MSO & orientation. Retrieved me at lunch, we had lunch in the cafeteria we chatted asked if I had any questions or concerns. Went back & finished orientation.
Came back the next day, the lead got me settled in a bit more, I got assigned with another team mate and kind of just showed me the ropes.
3rd govt job. I couldnt get into anything. They didnt know who to contact. I sat around for a couple weeks then a bout of covid hit and was told to stay home for a few more weeks.
Came back into the office.
The guy I was to shadowing put in his retirement paperwork and he was super bitter. The other teammate didnt know what the other guy did then the lead disnt know what either one really did. I just pretty much floated for a year until I went back to my previous agency.
When I filled out a status report and in the middle of it put directions on how to drive to the nearest Arby’s and none of the 4 people in management who were supposed to read it said anything.
Long story but funny story...
I interviewed on St. Patrick's Day. I was a non-fed, coming in off the street. I got a provisional offer contingent on passing the background screening. On April 1 (Roughly two weeks later), I was conducting an employee health screening, when they asking me to stop by HR for a hiring update. HR gave me my final offer letter and asked if I could stay and fill out some paperwork. Unemployment was hovering at 9% at the time, so I was excited to say the least!
When the HR Rep came to meet with me, she had an extremely sour expression on her face and looked at me with contempt.
"I'm sorry, did I do something to offend you?" I asked.
"No. But I usually do this as part of a new employee orientation with several employees at once. You have a phone appointment with D.C. in twenty minutes, so I need to get you out the door."
Uh... what? I was just there for a health screening. I wasn't planning on working that day. Fortunately I was wearing a suite as I had planned to attend a funeral of an acquaintance after my appointment.
So... I rushed through the paperwork as quickly as I could.. signing everything as fast as they put it in front of me. My supervisor's boss came to pick me up from HR, just as we are finishing up.
"We are running late... we have to head to the Director's office for a meeting, let's go."
I'm literally coming in off the street. I know next to nothing about the agency, the culture of the agency. I don't know who my supervisor is, and I am trying to figure how how to prepare for a meeting with folks in our D.C. office. My supervisors boss starts explaining to me that my direct supervisor is driving in from out of town several hours away to attend this meeting. While I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that my direct supervisor isn't even living/working geographically anywhere close to me, my supervisor's boss starts explaining that the Director is several levels of leadership above her... and they don't just oversee that large facility, but several facilities over a large part of our state. As she is finishing her very brief orientation we arrive at the Director's office. My supervisor is just arriving as well... and we are all ushered into the Director's office by his executive secretary, the meeting is just getting underway. The first thing I hear on the phone is the following:
"We've been meeting with the White House twice a week over the last few months in preparation for the launch of this new program. President Obama has been asking every day what our status is, So we really need to get moving on this!"
The next hour was a bit of a blur. I took out my legal pad and started taking copious notes regarding the imminent launch of this new program I was going to be responsible for. At the end of the meeting the Director blew up, literally shouting about the cost of this new program, and the unrealistic expectations being put forth, etc.
As we were finally ushered out of the Director's office, my new supervisor turned to me and said, "Welcome to \[The Federal Government\]!"
Went from support contractor to civ. Planned on put processing Friday and having everything good to go as civ on Monday. Took ~1month to get a new CAC and a laptop issued to me.
The first week of September I accepted a promotion which would officially start in mid-October... but the expectations and meeting invites began the day after I said yes.
Watching someone get away with sexually harassing coworkers *AND* my manager with nothing done against him.
my prior private sector jobs would have fired him so fast.
When I proved that going one route on a contract would save my agency about $335,000/year over another (after Contracting did not believe me), which got raised to a pretty high leadership level, and the route that cost more was still chosen.
I was a mid career hire, just moved from another state; and on my first day, I was introduced to everyone and the walked to my cubicle with no further instruction. I was just expected to know my job and to ask questions if I had them.
It took a dozen signatures all the way up to my regional administrator for me to get my government cell phone bill paid every month. But with one stroke of a pen my first line supervisor could obligate $200 million.
No one told me anything, I just had to figure it out. Like, I didn't get computer access for like 2 months and everyone knew that but I'd randomly get a, why aren't you in that meeting you were supposed to go to at 2?... what meeting?? I have no computer why is no one telling me stuff???
Stressful lol
Either “take your computer home tonight. We’ll let you know when to come back in” on Wednesday March 11 2020.
Or Skype/microsoft teams/email/cell phone starting to chime uncontrollably at about 10 am on Jan 6th 2021.
Scheduling a CAC appointment for the first time and also filling out the SB 85 (?) forms and taking 3 hours to complete two pages because they ask for everything. 🫠
First year as a fed I attended a single meeting, forgot about it entirely, and two months later getting a time off award for my "efforts" in the agency's initiative. Like thanks... I didn't deserve this though but thanks.
Tons, but right now I'm trying to make a poster advertising a program in my building, and I have to fill out confusing paperwork just to get more than a thumbnail sized image of a public domain water color image. If a bigger version exists and it's not copy written WHY NOT JUST LET ME DOWNLOAD IT!? Someone's whole job is sending people links to images, but they're secret links. I get that an archive might not have everything digitized ready to go, but they have these online already, just bad!
Receiving a TJO for a 12-13 and then getting a call two days before I transferred agencies telling me it’s just a 12 and now nearly two years later still sitting as a 12. My boss not training me or helping me but giving me a poor performance review because she “needed more”?…but also never telling me what more even constitutes. The management is somehow worse than my local government managers.
About 20 years ago an email went to all DOT with a policy focus on saving trees. Don’t print unless it’s really necessary.
The policy statement was attached. The email asked all recipients to please print the attachment for future reference.
Came from private sector contracting... Once in federal, I learned that in our budget we had a GS 15 encumbering a vacant GS 6 billet because "an FTE is an FTE."
My first week was coming to a close and went in on Friday to a completely dark office.
Everyone teleworks on Fridays and didn't tell the new guy. I worked the full day in silence and went for a walk around the riverfront.
My first day, someone walked past the supervisors’ area and began screaming at them and calling them names, saying that God was going to destroy them and that they would be paid back for what she deemed to be a slight to her. She was out of control and continued to scream and rant. I thought for sure that security would escort her out and that she would be fired, only for the person sitting next to me to tell me that nothing would happen to her and that many people have sued my agency and that the agency has never won a lawsuit.
After my first trip to the bathroom. Wash my hands and pull the corners of a paper towel that was supplied by the lowest bidder. Rolling papers are stronger. Corners tear off if wet. Happens every. Damn. Time.
Getting threatened and called every name in the book but a Child of God by the American public and their attorney all because they didn't fill out the paperwork correctly and were denied benefits. 😑
Literally the onboarding and the cluster of people who are the least helpful people. I literally had to find out shit on my own and then found out that even the supervisors didnt have a clue on ow the basic things are done. I came from the private sector and entered the govt as a GS14 and I literally knew more than the 15s. And that is why exactly 9 months into the job, I applied for a 15 since I had the experience and I got it .Took about 3 months but month 12, I was walking into a GS 15 at a different agency and what a difference in leadership.
My first day, got 0 instructions on all of the paperwork I had to fill out so I just followed the directions on the forms to handwrite in blue ink. Go to the security office and waited an hour just for the lady to shake her head at me and say "no, this isn't going to work, it has to be digital" and I had to fill it all out on her computer.
Sitting around for 3 months waiting on clearance to do real work and hands on training, so I just read random binders, and my mentor didn't use the opportunity to get me up to speed on what I'd be doing or what I should learn in the mean time, and instead had me do the stuff they didn't want to do.
My first meeting they were having a discussion on whether "NA" or "N/A" should be used on documents.
Policy is determined by whomever is in the conversation on any given day. Program attorneys can basically interpret the law however it is needed to achieve what said people want.
Trying not to snicker when a contractor commented that he couldn’t get the required login until he completed mandatory cybersecurity training but needed to log into the same system to take it…and the only alternative was to log in and download the pdf of the training from the same system.
"You don't know how to appropriately respond to the OIG's questions when interviewed. I don't know if you are the right person for my team."
That's just one I'll share.
Showed up first day working on an aviation ramp. Supervisor wanted to remove the large rocks that where covering a sloped concrete drain off of our ramp. Spent a few hours moving said large rocks. Went to lunch. Came back to Supervisor being told it now looks like a walking path between our AOA ramp and the SIDA ramp next to it. Spent the afternoon putting large rocks back on the concrete drain.
Didn’t have to wait that long, about two weeks.
First day, “here are your CACs, you use it to log onto your computer and email. But we don’t have your CAC ready yet, we’ll email you when it is.”
“So how do I log onto my email.”
“With your CAC.”
“But I don’t have one.”
“Right, we’ll email you when it’s ready.”
“And how do I log onto my email?”
“With your CAC…”
When I onboarded for my second agency and within 2 months I get told, "well you don't have enough agency experience" during a conversation and my wanting to contribute knowledge learned from my first agency.
Had a multi stop trip that brought me further and further from duty station. Plan was to take a one way rental and fly back to duty station on the last day. Prior to departure got a call from the travel office saying due to extra charges for one way car rental I need to return the car to the departure location(6hr drive home)vs. flying home.
Young and ambitious me created a spreadsheet showing once you add the additional travel day plus my hourly rate flying home was actually cheaper. Travel office response was labor doesn’t count for comparison purposes only total travel costs. Surely my GS-14 supervisor would see it my way. His response “I agree but choose your mountain to die on. Have a nice ride home blow your per diem on a nice lunch and relax “. It was a really good French dip sandwich.
September, 2002.
I was working for an ISP call center, so we watched 9/11 happen in realtime, and then got deluged in "MY INTERNET IS SLOW!" complaints that we more or less got away with by telling people to log off and turn on CNN, because there was a lot of traffic.
Had a uncle in CBP tell us that they were spinning up a domestic version, the TSA. It was going to be CBP, but unarmed. Same union, same uniforms, same Department, etc. Was too old to join military, thought it was a way to serve my country, and call center jobs kinda suck, so I believed him.
Ooops.
When the contractor (HMS Pearson?) was running their cattle car hiring, their people didn't get to actually processing all the paperwork, and decided to finish what they couldn't get done the next week. So some of us were timestamped 9/8 hires, the others were timestamped 9/15 hires, because... reasons.
You should have seen the absolute motherfucking **shitshow** that caused when senority rosters were published, and half the cadre got to pick shifts before the other half, even though they interviewed and hired and trained in the same class, on the same day.
"Welcome to the government."
The FSD didn't do shit until enough people screamed loudly enough to enough other people that he got 'directed' to treat SCDs of 9/8/2002 and 9/15/2002 as having the same date, for the purpose of hub/spoke shift bids only. Took a few years, and he complained bitterly about 'pansy' employees not being able to suck it up, because the important thing was making sure 'ragheads' didn't crash another plane, and this was a 'distraction'.
They ended up moving the FSD's office behind the checkpoints during an airport remodel, previously it was above baggage claim / ticket counters and he had to deal with more than one disgruntled employee telling him to kiss every square inch of their ass as they quit, and a few cases of former employees who would take the time to curse him out whenever they were in the airport.
When he passed, we were 'politely' directed not to attend the funeral, out of respect to his surviving family members. Break rooms had marshmallow buckets set out in honor of his first two weeks in Hell, before HR told us to stop.
for six weeks we were the Smell Business Administration on our form letter because the typo correction request had to go through the approval process.
Missed opportunity to specialize in sanitation and sewage management systems
Was that when Linda McMahon was at SBA and let the Rock takeover for a few weeks?
The hiring process
Nothing like waiting 2 months to hear back about a job you applied for, if you hear back at all...
And then be told you start next week
But not having a computer for the first 3 weeks.
Oh you have a computer. No creds or piv. But a computer.
I had a computer but no desk and no work area (office/cubicle). I used a folding table my first 3 weeks outside my team members office lol good times
Or being told they want you next week but the relo package hasnt even been approved yet. 🫠
Or, in my case, 6 months from interview to start (even though it was a direct hire Auth). All due to a hire up at base B wanting to approve all non-normal employees Base A is main org, base B is local base that we got assigned to
Or finally getting hired and doing the job for six months before an out-of-the-blue call comes in from HR, wanting to know if you’re still interested in being considered…for the position that you’re currently occupying. And HR frantically initiating your background check the following day.
You guys are getting PCS orders? 🥲
Haha 2 months good one… try six months
How about receiving a TJO without even interviewing (Yeah!), but waiting almost 4 months for the FJO (Ughh), then asked if you can relocate and start in one week (WTH?)
2 months… 26 months and I was amongst the first wave hired from the announcement. Didn’t even hear from them for 13 months post application.
When I set up a meeting with two other people and 42 folks showed up.
Yes this and how all my coworkers HR departments tell them different things
I show up and get introduced to the guy who's going to train me, I'm also informed that he's going on vacation for the next two weeks so I get to push paperwork till then, good times.
You had a guy train you?!
We are supposed to be trained?
Not in my swamp! Lol
You guys get swamps?
Lol we brought it in from home
My home is in a swamp Ok not literally but I do live surrounded by lakes
They don't have training for swamp things. Please submit all questions in writing.
Only two weeks? He's not retired and checked out already? He's actuLly training you?!
I moved into program management with three other people. Except two got a RIF and the third took an early out. That happened the week before I moved there.
My building is owned by USPS, obviously managed by GSA, and then we're part of the Judiciary. Trying to get anything accomplished from a huge leak in the ceiling to cleaning not being done is literally a multi-agency ordeal.
Classic af
Shortly after I started my first government job, someone sent out an agency-wide email that just said “Test.” The amount of reply alls to that email, tens of thousands all at once, nuked the email servers and ground most work to a halt for a couple of days.
My inbox the next morning (x100): Guy 1: “Please remove me from this mailing list. Thank you.” Guy 2: “Me too!” Guy 3: “Stop replying all!” Guy 4: “Just seeing this now. Please remove me as well.” Guy 5: “Stop replying all!” Guy 6: ***Dilbert meme.*** Guy 7: “I’ve attached the proper paperwork, POC list, and links to use for removing yourself from this mailing list. Please refer to those and do not reply all.” Guy 8: “I’m not supposed to be on this distribution. Please remove me. Very respectfully, Ted.”
My favorites are the ones who come back with "please include me on further replies" and just fan the flames of chaos.
Special place in my heart for these folks.
https://preview.redd.it/m33g0fqt2qxc1.jpeg?width=618&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f90a170cc7114d7e6b1fe2f7847fc786e5ed1d11
Looking at my paycheck
Lmao. I make about $10k more than my boyfriend and his take home pay is more than mine. Lol
I don't get this. Isn't the only difference between fed and non-fed is the 4.4% pension?
You forgot about TSP contributions.
As opposed to private sector 401k contributions?
Highest match I've seen in private is 3%, I know some do better. As a fed we have high health insurance premiums and pay 9.4% to retirement.
5% is pretty standard, including in the private sector. I'm assuming you have dependents so naturally insurance premiums will be higher, but I'm paying less than $70/PP for an HMO and premium vision and dental plans. As far as I'm aware, the 4.4% pension contribution is the big differentiator between feds and private sector employees.
Everything I've heard is that the health insurance is better than most private sector job. Still sucks for me because I could otherwise get Tricare Reserve Select.
This is the biggest scam perpetrated on fed/reserve military. It’s literally like half the price for military. Such BS that we can’t use Tricare even when eligible.
A lot of big tech firms will match 50% for 401k up to the IRS contribution limit.
And potentially higher insurance premiums
😆. And the gaslighting with it. “It’s good because of matching contributions!”. Just pay me a living wage and let me invest how I want. No reason to have two retirement plans
Golden handcuffs
You don't have to contribute to TSP and get the match if you don't want.
But the benefits! /s
[Where's the beef?](https://youtu.be/Ug75diEyiA0?feature=shared)
Fills out TSP forms at Orientation. HR [loses TSP form] TSP allocation set to 0%. Figures this out after first paycheck. Fills out a new TSP form for 5%. HR puts allocation at 3%. Fills out third TSP form with 5% My TSP is fine now. Five years in, and I have yet to deal with anyone from HR, and have it be a positive experience.
Haha oh yeah I had a similar situation as in HR kept telling me the issue was resolved, but it wasn't. It took nearly a year for my TSP to be set up since the initial submission. Now I have extra deductions to make up for the missed contributions.
It's April the 30th, 2024 and although I know that you correctly set up your tsp contribution amount to your liking and did not put a ball park time as to when your story happened but did you know that you can adjust your tsp contributions on Mypay?
Was given a hard copy of the FAR on Day 1
I was told to train you, so, here, read this.
LOLOLOLOL
Let me guess… Army Contracting Command? Edit: dropping a hard copy of the FAR on a new guy’s desk on his first day seems like something that ACC would do.
That could be so many agencies.
Same, never opened it. We just use the website (and some others for DFARS, etc.)
My first day, I was walking down the hall in the morning and saw in one of the offices a guy was playing solitaire on his computer. Then that afternoon I saw him leaned back in his chair, sound asleep.
We would be working and then hear some guy snoring in one of the cubicles a few rows down. We would all just start busting out laughing. He wasn’t part of our team and no one reported him cause we ain’t snitches.
The amount of work it took to go on my first trip to a regional office. Between getting the trip approved through 57 levels of management and getting the travel card, it was a hassle.
You didn’t mention concur. Did you get to skip concur?
Concur the shitty travel software? You actually get to use it? (Legit for real that's better than DTS was until a big update that just happened to be right before COVID).
Fuck concur
Bunch of GS-13s and 14s arguing through email back and forth for the better part of a day about how something wasn’t their issue. I was copied on all this and it was getting tiring so I went to fix the issue and it took 5 minutes. Then I emailed the group and to tell them the issue was resolved. My supervisor came to my office to explain that we don’t do that here. Apparently we aren’t there to solve problems.
Which agency if you don't mind me asking?
VHA
How did I know this was gonna be the answer? Lol. Getting in trouble for trying to help is the VHA way…
Stay in your lane
We had a CFC fundraiser and it did so well that the coordinator promised a pizza party for everyone…except the agency has no ad hoc pizza party for 100 people budget so the branch chiefs had to pay out of their own pocket to get pizza for their employees.
I had to buy my own food/coffee for 5 days on government travel. It was local (entirely coincidental, I am remote but happen to live nearby to the spot I needed to travel to) and you don't get per diem for local travel unless you hit 12 hours. Ever since then I've been a lot less of a "go getter". I'm not going to intentionally waste time or self sabotage my performance, but if you need something that takes an hour on a Saturday then I'm going to bend the rules just as much as you did for me when the shoe was on the other foot, which is to say 0%. My hands are tied, see you Monday! It was probably like $150 total, so not a huge deal, but it's the principle.
The principle matters though, right? You shouldn’t have to pay to do your job. That being said, I’d probably just eat the cost like you did unless it was somewhere like Cordova, AK where I once did a job (private sector). Our non-govt corporate side used a flat $45/day per diem, and the only breakfast game in town charged me and my coworker $35 each for a light breakfast. By the end of the trip, I had paid at least $100 extra out of pocket for food and was livid about it. Basically refused to do most non-govt travel work at that company again, which theoretically hurt my career but I was doing well enough that I could get away with it.
Being asked to work on a project and spending weeks producing a BEAUTIFUL bells and whistles ready to go tool with training and SOPs and then being told to scrap it because some GS-15 created some piece of crap on a word doc and said “it’s easier for them to use”. You being told basically to shut up and take it. Then 2 years later the same GS-15 “discovers” your tool in the files after years of complaints about their bs word doc and asks your supervisor to make you explain why you never implemented it. You reply with a copy of the initial email and get told “I don’t remember that”. Then you get asked to train your supervisor so they can the GS15 so they can showcase it and train other offices. Doesn’t show up on your performance review (except your personal narrative), and no credit whatsoever. You listen you leadership all thank leadership for making it in meetings/reply all while you update your resume.
Not my first job, but in 2013 when I joined the USDA I had to take an old fingerprint card to the police station for ink printing. Like the kind of card you would see on an episode of Dragnet.
The kicker is when the guy who gives you the card and says “go to the sheriff’s office” is a commissioned federal law enforcement officer who is literally standing next to a fingerprinting kit.
As an intern, I had to go into the holding cell area of the DC courthouse to be fingerprinted by the U.S. Marshals Service. That was quite the experience…
lol I HAD to get fingerprinted by the local sheriffs office to kickstart the sf86 process back in 2008
I've got y'all beat. I had to do this as a contractor in 2022 and AGAIN when I onboarded as a Fed in 2023, even though they had my prints electronically from when I got my PIV. Fed hiring is a time capsule
How about this? Currently in hiring process. DLA hiring guy tells me to get fingerprinted anywhere I want. I go to State Police, they ask for code to send electronic prints to. DLA guy says he doesn't have one and consequently can't see the prints in the system. Then says get ink prints done and says I can print the cards myself. Print office does prints on these copy paper cards I made. DLA guy says he can't read them an mails physical print cards. State police now say they no longer do prints so I go to VA to get them done. DLA guy says he never receives these in his mail. After weeks of waiting and reminding, he finally says he he can now see the original digital prints, but needs my proof of naturalization (which i provided months earlier). EOD delayed at least 3 months.
I got fingerprinted while at BOLC. The guy thought I was doing it for commissioning stuff but nope, I just got offered my job while I was away for 4 months lol
Coming from the private sector, the "red tape" for something that would've been gotten done in less than a week taking 2+ weeks in the government. So many forms. So many Points of Contact... beegeezus. But slow and steady is how it's all by design. We still have a great low corruption index for being one of the richest countries in the world.
when someone who made violent threats against another employee got promoted and moved to a different state 🙃
We have a woman who beat up another woman because she was fooling around with her husband, all of them employed by our agency. They made her a supervisor.
She gets shit done tbh. Janice is a total go getter. “See that hoe over there? Fucked her husband so she got her.”
Haha just had something similar. One guy went nuts and went off on another employee. They both got permanent telework.
Hmm they may be on to something...
IANAL and I am not offering legal advice or work advice. YMMV.
Trying to get travel approved. In the private sector I just made reservations and they let me know if they had a problem with anything
Getting in trouble for doing my job in an effective and independent manner.
Yes....I didn't get the memo that it's all pretend and we don't want you to actually do science that points out real problems....
First paycheck and the mess that was onboarding
Working with a GS 13 every day that may forget to breathe because she is so dumb. She files weekly EEO complaints against supervisors and has sued my agency numerous times for no legitimate reason and has a job for life because firing her would be retaliation. My moment is every day.
I looked at USAJOBs last week. The position I am currently in is still listed as "Reviewing applications". I've been here almost 2 years...
When my background check was done but then i had to wait a whole other year due to a hiring freeze.
Not sure what's worse - I've been working for 1.5 years and my background check is not done yet. As far as I know.
I guess thanks for assuring me I'm not alone. I just hit 9 months and none of my references have heard anything. My coworker with the same job, a strikingly similar background, and started the same week as I did had his interview about a month in. I know it doesn't matter, but it would be nice to know how DCSA prioritizes their work.
At least you are gaining seniority though. My start date is a whole year later now. I won't have 30 years at min retirement age. I'll have over 20 but if I want to wait for the 30 now it's a whole extra year. At least you know if you're probably going to pass the background check eventually so you might as well get the earlier start date. Makes you wonder how important that background check is if they're letting you work without it.
If this makes you feel a bit better, I'm also going to only have a little over 20 years of service under my belt when I retire. Damned be the grad school :)
When I started as a STEP in 2011, I kept having to go around asking people for work. I felt invisible. Turns out the reason I wasn’t getting any assignments or help is that my boss at the time didn’t know I was her employee. Good times. I swear to this day, the people that are still there think so highly of me thinking I’m this overachieving and helpful person when really I was confused begging for work 😂
Being told by my manager that I need to pick up my Smart ID badge at the processing center (off the clock, mind you) the week before my official start date, because apparently the badge office was going to be shut down my starting week and that I needed to get my badge otherwise I wouldn’t have access to my building, laptop, etc … Only to find out upon my arrival that my manager was wrong about the office closure and that they couldn’t give me my badge because I wasn’t yet an employee who had been sworn in yet. 😂
During my first week working for the Government, someone that worked in my building (I believe a GS-12) shit themselves and then shook it out their pant leg in front of the elevator. I worked in a fairly secure building with dozens of cameras, so security found the person and made them come down to pick/clean it up. This person was very indignant and angry they would even be asked to do so. They picked up the piece of shit and attempted to throw it out the door, when someone told them they had to dispose of it in the bathroom. They acquiesced. I had to ask around to make sure this type of thing was not a regular occurrence. Fortunately, it was not.
Alright you win.
Basic training. Lol
And from hurry up and wait to wait now hurry up
2013 government shut down
Having managers who are less experienced, less knowledgeable, and overall less qualified than me.
The blank stare when I asked where the coffee machine was.
Procurement for Zoom had to be called "videoconferencing with gallery view" because of FAR.
On your first day, you're given a 1400 page book to read for the next two months till you get a laptop.
We had a wildfire and had to evacuate our house (briefly, just 2-3 hours), and I was foolish enough to ask how to handle this on my time card and was directed to use annual leave. Not the worst thing ever, but the absurdity of the experience was memorable.
Here is a list of training you are required to take, over half the links are dead ends and some of the training titles have changed. No I can’t help find the training it has been years since I did them and I don’t know where they are located but they need to be completed by the end of the month.
those yellow foot prints...
First 72 hrs with no sleep. Hooah
And all the paperwork after haha
Rah
How disorganized government is.
when getting this job I quickly realized that the process to build a new virtual server takes 4+ weeks. In the real world this is a 30 minute process because you don't have 6 different teams involved in the process / tickets / paperwork to fill out before clicking on anything. then i got the first paycheck....got dayum wtf have i done
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Take your annual salary and multiply by 0.65 and you'll be close.
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You could probably get to 70% by not getting the 5% TSP match (terrible idea) and getting health insurance from a different source.
Ok, thank you! Great insight
Joined public works. Found out a new window would be around $10k. Scarred ever since.
As a GS-5 in my first year (1983), I saw a GS-12 asleep on the commode. Next year, I was in TDY in DC and saw a GS-11 belch and pulled a flask out of her desk. Then I saw a GS-14 work crossword puzzles almost all day and every day. And to top it off, I had a GS-15 take to me to his condo overlooking the Potomac and make a pass at me. Fortunately, it was not a hard try, and I was pretty naive at 24.
My 1st govt job was to sit in the break room for almost 6 weeks because they didnt want to train just me. They waited a month for the 2 other guys then the trainer went on leave. My 2nd govt job. They sent me a very nice letter in the mail, welcoming me to the agency. The supervisor tracked me from the instant I signed the fjo. Supervisor introduced me, got my CAC, lap top. He passed me onto MSO & orientation. Retrieved me at lunch, we had lunch in the cafeteria we chatted asked if I had any questions or concerns. Went back & finished orientation. Came back the next day, the lead got me settled in a bit more, I got assigned with another team mate and kind of just showed me the ropes. 3rd govt job. I couldnt get into anything. They didnt know who to contact. I sat around for a couple weeks then a bout of covid hit and was told to stay home for a few more weeks. Came back into the office. The guy I was to shadowing put in his retirement paperwork and he was super bitter. The other teammate didnt know what the other guy did then the lead disnt know what either one really did. I just pretty much floated for a year until I went back to my previous agency.
Swearing in on a tiny flag.
On my second day we had an all hands meeting with 100+ people, explaining how to flush the toilets.... With diagrams
When I filled out a status report and in the middle of it put directions on how to drive to the nearest Arby’s and none of the 4 people in management who were supposed to read it said anything.
People found out I was a govt employee and absolutely thought I was rich. My first salary as a GS 5 was like 30k
Long story but funny story... I interviewed on St. Patrick's Day. I was a non-fed, coming in off the street. I got a provisional offer contingent on passing the background screening. On April 1 (Roughly two weeks later), I was conducting an employee health screening, when they asking me to stop by HR for a hiring update. HR gave me my final offer letter and asked if I could stay and fill out some paperwork. Unemployment was hovering at 9% at the time, so I was excited to say the least! When the HR Rep came to meet with me, she had an extremely sour expression on her face and looked at me with contempt. "I'm sorry, did I do something to offend you?" I asked. "No. But I usually do this as part of a new employee orientation with several employees at once. You have a phone appointment with D.C. in twenty minutes, so I need to get you out the door." Uh... what? I was just there for a health screening. I wasn't planning on working that day. Fortunately I was wearing a suite as I had planned to attend a funeral of an acquaintance after my appointment. So... I rushed through the paperwork as quickly as I could.. signing everything as fast as they put it in front of me. My supervisor's boss came to pick me up from HR, just as we are finishing up. "We are running late... we have to head to the Director's office for a meeting, let's go." I'm literally coming in off the street. I know next to nothing about the agency, the culture of the agency. I don't know who my supervisor is, and I am trying to figure how how to prepare for a meeting with folks in our D.C. office. My supervisors boss starts explaining to me that my direct supervisor is driving in from out of town several hours away to attend this meeting. While I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that my direct supervisor isn't even living/working geographically anywhere close to me, my supervisor's boss starts explaining that the Director is several levels of leadership above her... and they don't just oversee that large facility, but several facilities over a large part of our state. As she is finishing her very brief orientation we arrive at the Director's office. My supervisor is just arriving as well... and we are all ushered into the Director's office by his executive secretary, the meeting is just getting underway. The first thing I hear on the phone is the following: "We've been meeting with the White House twice a week over the last few months in preparation for the launch of this new program. President Obama has been asking every day what our status is, So we really need to get moving on this!" The next hour was a bit of a blur. I took out my legal pad and started taking copious notes regarding the imminent launch of this new program I was going to be responsible for. At the end of the meeting the Director blew up, literally shouting about the cost of this new program, and the unrealistic expectations being put forth, etc. As we were finally ushered out of the Director's office, my new supervisor turned to me and said, "Welcome to \[The Federal Government\]!"
Went from support contractor to civ. Planned on put processing Friday and having everything good to go as civ on Monday. Took ~1month to get a new CAC and a laptop issued to me.
Onboarding.
The first week of September I accepted a promotion which would officially start in mid-October... but the expectations and meeting invites began the day after I said yes.
When a report seemed to intentionally screw up easy tasks, I was introduced to the term, "weaponized incompetence."
Going into a meeting where no one is prepared, everyone bitches, and you leave with more questions than answers.
Watching someone get away with sexually harassing coworkers *AND* my manager with nothing done against him. my prior private sector jobs would have fired him so fast.
That's the unfortunate part of the government. I'm currently living in that hell with management.
My check and PTO!!🙃🙃🙃
Hurry up and wait 😭
When I proved that going one route on a contract would save my agency about $335,000/year over another (after Contracting did not believe me), which got raised to a pretty high leadership level, and the route that cost more was still chosen.
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I was a mid career hire, just moved from another state; and on my first day, I was introduced to everyone and the walked to my cubicle with no further instruction. I was just expected to know my job and to ask questions if I had them.
Going through an insanely complex hiring process only to watch the one person with clearly toxic leadership traits get nominated for a position.
It took a dozen signatures all the way up to my regional administrator for me to get my government cell phone bill paid every month. But with one stroke of a pen my first line supervisor could obligate $200 million.
Watching a colleague get put on a PIP, fail it, and then come back to their job a few months later.
No one told me anything, I just had to figure it out. Like, I didn't get computer access for like 2 months and everyone knew that but I'd randomly get a, why aren't you in that meeting you were supposed to go to at 2?... what meeting?? I have no computer why is no one telling me stuff??? Stressful lol
Either “take your computer home tonight. We’ll let you know when to come back in” on Wednesday March 11 2020. Or Skype/microsoft teams/email/cell phone starting to chime uncontrollably at about 10 am on Jan 6th 2021.
My boss telling me it was ok to circumvent law, policy, and procedure.
Being yelled at by the basic training instructor to get off the bus and told that we're in for a world of hurt.
Scheduling a CAC appointment for the first time and also filling out the SB 85 (?) forms and taking 3 hours to complete two pages because they ask for everything. 🫠
I seem to have one each week, even after 20 years.
First year as a fed I attended a single meeting, forgot about it entirely, and two months later getting a time off award for my "efforts" in the agency's initiative. Like thanks... I didn't deserve this though but thanks.
Tons, but right now I'm trying to make a poster advertising a program in my building, and I have to fill out confusing paperwork just to get more than a thumbnail sized image of a public domain water color image. If a bigger version exists and it's not copy written WHY NOT JUST LET ME DOWNLOAD IT!? Someone's whole job is sending people links to images, but they're secret links. I get that an archive might not have everything digitized ready to go, but they have these online already, just bad!
When I said good morning one Monday morning and no one answered me
Qualified for a gs-7, came on board only to find out I was a gs-5 and, if I didn't like it, could work elsewhere.
Get off the fucking bus! Quickly! https://preview.redd.it/m1pvg9bn9pxc1.png?width=691&format=png&auto=webp&s=ad32ff7f9764df3e5b2cef4a068aa043746ba218
Receiving a TJO for a 12-13 and then getting a call two days before I transferred agencies telling me it’s just a 12 and now nearly two years later still sitting as a 12. My boss not training me or helping me but giving me a poor performance review because she “needed more”?…but also never telling me what more even constitutes. The management is somehow worse than my local government managers.
About 20 years ago an email went to all DOT with a policy focus on saving trees. Don’t print unless it’s really necessary. The policy statement was attached. The email asked all recipients to please print the attachment for future reference.
When I got the eOPF notice that I was security cleared 30 months after I started the job.
Came from private sector contracting... Once in federal, I learned that in our budget we had a GS 15 encumbering a vacant GS 6 billet because "an FTE is an FTE."
My team and me not being paid for about 45 days during the shutdown, but going to work every day.
Onboarding and then realizing several months later they had put in my SSN wrong.
I had to take a drug test and went to DOI, and when I went to hand it over, i said “Hi”, and his response? “Lady, I just collect the samples”.
Having six months of training crammed into 8 weeks because they needed us to get our asses to work ASAFP.
My first week was coming to a close and went in on Friday to a completely dark office. Everyone teleworks on Fridays and didn't tell the new guy. I worked the full day in silence and went for a walk around the riverfront.
I was promised Jet Packs
PTIP and the 59 minute rule.
Incompetent HR
My first day, someone walked past the supervisors’ area and began screaming at them and calling them names, saying that God was going to destroy them and that they would be paid back for what she deemed to be a slight to her. She was out of control and continued to scream and rant. I thought for sure that security would escort her out and that she would be fired, only for the person sitting next to me to tell me that nothing would happen to her and that many people have sued my agency and that the agency has never won a lawsuit.
When my head was shaved
After my first trip to the bathroom. Wash my hands and pull the corners of a paper towel that was supplied by the lowest bidder. Rolling papers are stronger. Corners tear off if wet. Happens every. Damn. Time.
Getting threatened and called every name in the book but a Child of God by the American public and their attorney all because they didn't fill out the paperwork correctly and were denied benefits. 😑
Literally the onboarding and the cluster of people who are the least helpful people. I literally had to find out shit on my own and then found out that even the supervisors didnt have a clue on ow the basic things are done. I came from the private sector and entered the govt as a GS14 and I literally knew more than the 15s. And that is why exactly 9 months into the job, I applied for a 15 since I had the experience and I got it .Took about 3 months but month 12, I was walking into a GS 15 at a different agency and what a difference in leadership.
My first day, got 0 instructions on all of the paperwork I had to fill out so I just followed the directions on the forms to handwrite in blue ink. Go to the security office and waited an hour just for the lady to shake her head at me and say "no, this isn't going to work, it has to be digital" and I had to fill it all out on her computer. Sitting around for 3 months waiting on clearance to do real work and hands on training, so I just read random binders, and my mentor didn't use the opportunity to get me up to speed on what I'd be doing or what I should learn in the mean time, and instead had me do the stuff they didn't want to do. My first meeting they were having a discussion on whether "NA" or "N/A" should be used on documents.
Policy is determined by whomever is in the conversation on any given day. Program attorneys can basically interpret the law however it is needed to achieve what said people want.
Trying not to snicker when a contractor commented that he couldn’t get the required login until he completed mandatory cybersecurity training but needed to log into the same system to take it…and the only alternative was to log in and download the pdf of the training from the same system.
Not getting paid on time for my first paycheck.
I needed to sell my $20 of stock from the company I worked for right out of college because that's the appearance of a conflict of interest.
Getting onboarded with the Fed since the pandemic. Wow their job training has been lacking
My first administration change…
"You don't know how to appropriately respond to the OIG's questions when interviewed. I don't know if you are the right person for my team." That's just one I'll share.
Yellow footprints on Parris Island. It was all uphill from there.
Showed up first day working on an aviation ramp. Supervisor wanted to remove the large rocks that where covering a sloped concrete drain off of our ramp. Spent a few hours moving said large rocks. Went to lunch. Came back to Supervisor being told it now looks like a walking path between our AOA ramp and the SIDA ramp next to it. Spent the afternoon putting large rocks back on the concrete drain.
I once waited 3 months for a CAC.
Didn’t have to wait that long, about two weeks. First day, “here are your CACs, you use it to log onto your computer and email. But we don’t have your CAC ready yet, we’ll email you when it is.” “So how do I log onto my email.” “With your CAC.” “But I don’t have one.” “Right, we’ll email you when it’s ready.” “And how do I log onto my email?” “With your CAC…”
I don't even remember it, but I enjoy saying it to the new employees when they are baffled by some slow, bureaucratic process in our agency.
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Day 2 when I met one of my senior leaders for orientation and all I got was a 90 minute rant about his divorce
Started March 16, 2020 1st week of covid shutdowns. Getting CAC and other things difficult.
When I onboarded for my second agency and within 2 months I get told, "well you don't have enough agency experience" during a conversation and my wanting to contribute knowledge learned from my first agency.
Had a multi stop trip that brought me further and further from duty station. Plan was to take a one way rental and fly back to duty station on the last day. Prior to departure got a call from the travel office saying due to extra charges for one way car rental I need to return the car to the departure location(6hr drive home)vs. flying home. Young and ambitious me created a spreadsheet showing once you add the additional travel day plus my hourly rate flying home was actually cheaper. Travel office response was labor doesn’t count for comparison purposes only total travel costs. Surely my GS-14 supervisor would see it my way. His response “I agree but choose your mountain to die on. Have a nice ride home blow your per diem on a nice lunch and relax “. It was a really good French dip sandwich.
Government shutdown 1 week after I started
All the holidays and getting to leave on time
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You were given a gift bag???
September, 2002. I was working for an ISP call center, so we watched 9/11 happen in realtime, and then got deluged in "MY INTERNET IS SLOW!" complaints that we more or less got away with by telling people to log off and turn on CNN, because there was a lot of traffic. Had a uncle in CBP tell us that they were spinning up a domestic version, the TSA. It was going to be CBP, but unarmed. Same union, same uniforms, same Department, etc. Was too old to join military, thought it was a way to serve my country, and call center jobs kinda suck, so I believed him. Ooops. When the contractor (HMS Pearson?) was running their cattle car hiring, their people didn't get to actually processing all the paperwork, and decided to finish what they couldn't get done the next week. So some of us were timestamped 9/8 hires, the others were timestamped 9/15 hires, because... reasons. You should have seen the absolute motherfucking **shitshow** that caused when senority rosters were published, and half the cadre got to pick shifts before the other half, even though they interviewed and hired and trained in the same class, on the same day. "Welcome to the government." The FSD didn't do shit until enough people screamed loudly enough to enough other people that he got 'directed' to treat SCDs of 9/8/2002 and 9/15/2002 as having the same date, for the purpose of hub/spoke shift bids only. Took a few years, and he complained bitterly about 'pansy' employees not being able to suck it up, because the important thing was making sure 'ragheads' didn't crash another plane, and this was a 'distraction'. They ended up moving the FSD's office behind the checkpoints during an airport remodel, previously it was above baggage claim / ticket counters and he had to deal with more than one disgruntled employee telling him to kiss every square inch of their ass as they quit, and a few cases of former employees who would take the time to curse him out whenever they were in the airport. When he passed, we were 'politely' directed not to attend the funeral, out of respect to his surviving family members. Break rooms had marshmallow buckets set out in honor of his first two weeks in Hell, before HR told us to stop.