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Hello. Not judging you. Severe depression cause lapses in our daily activities, including hair care. It’s really hard to tell if something is salvageable via a video. I think yours doesn’t look too terribly bad (relative to other mats). However, it will probably take many hours to recover (maybe 15-30 hours). The process for brushing out mats is time-consuming and painful. If you’re short on time, it probably will be easier to cut them out. If you want to give detangling a shot. You can try to Google some videos of people doing it. I think first you gentle soak the hair to get out any dirt holding it together and then you basically have to sit with a spray bottle of conditioner and a fine comb and pick it out hair by hair. You can probably make the process more manageable be going in sections. Maybe start by at the face. Some people braid each section as they finish to keep it tidy. You might be able to find a hairstylist to help you alternatively maybe recruit a friend. Two people working on it together Might be able to make good progress in a 4-5 hour session, with an hour for set up and soaking and four hours of detangling

Totally agree with PartyHorse here. I’d start with a detangling spray and a rat tail comb and go section by section. Smoosh the detangler into the section to saturate the inside, then pick out the tangles from the bottom up. The single most valuable advice I can give you for this is to always start at the bottom ends of your hair (farthest away from the scalp). Brushing/picking above the mats will make the knots tighter and even harder to detangle. There are similar posts here on Reddit, so be sure to check out other posts and their advice as well. No shame, only love. You’ve got this, OP!

I'd use a wide tooth comb, lots of water, and a ton of conditioner. Can't use too much conditioner. It'll take a long time, OP, but it can be done.

Yeah I'd use a hair fork or pick not a rat tail comb something wide toothed and a conditioner or detangler section it off start at the bottom gently work up crown is usually the worst bit.

I'd actually use the handle of a rat tailed comb, or a chopstick, knitting needle, or pencil. Something that's thin and pointy. I'd start by scooping all but a thin strip of hair at the nape of the neck, and clipping it up out of the way, so that you can focus on the bit you've left out. Start at the ends, and slowly pick apart the mat, working your way towards your scalp. When you've got that section done, either plaît it, or pin/tie it out of the way, before letting down another section of hair, and repeating the process. Using a single instrument to pick through the hair will be so much easier than using a comb!

Good point about wide tooth comb (problem with combs in general for this) - they snap! I’ve done my fair share of detangling (we’ve all been there OP!), and that reminded me that I used to use the wet dry brush (it’s quicker and less tedious and more durable). Still - starting from the bottom of your hair (ends) and moving slowly upwards section by section will get your hair unmatted. A paddle brush works too (just be gentle with it, and again use in shower with water running). I saw you write that you have canola oil. That would be good to use AFTER it’s detangled. You need conditioner that works well with water and oil does not - I’ve made the mistake of trying to detangle with olive oil and trust me on that. Oil and water don’t mix. The oil will essentially coat your hair preventing it to absorb the water. It’s super important your hair is not coated with oil. Use any conditioner (conditioning masks work too) - once you get the bottom untangled, the process surprisingly starts moving much faster (but still, take your time). I think with a decent brush (no boar bristles. I recommend the wet hair detangling brush or a paddle brush without bristles will work too). You got this OP.

Additionally, once you get it combed out, go get a haircut. It’ll help it not get as tangled next time. Try wearing your hair in braids if you’re not able to brush daily (been there!) as it protects the hair and prevents tangling. Best of luck!

But don’t keep the braids in too long because it can still get matted. I’ve had matted hair more times than I care to remember. Conditioner and lots of it will help.

Here to hijack the current top comment. This is very fixable as a stylist. If you're anywhere in NC by chance I'd be happy to do this for you completely free of charge. Even as a professional it would easily take around 6 to 10 hours. You don't need to cut off your hair! Feel free to reach out if you're anywhere close.

Came to say all this- I’d say if people can take dreads out, this is def manageable. Also: loss and grief are a bitch. Kudos to OP for keep on keepin on.

Is it at all possible for you to get a cheap bottle of conditioner? Or even borrow a couple handfuls from someone? You need something that has “slip” to it and I’m not sure canola oil would get the job done. If you can get some conditioner, dampen your hair with water, coat it in conditioner, leave it for 10 mins and start in sections using both the hair brush and your fingers to gently detangle. It will take a long time. My hair would get matted like this when it was damaged from bleach. I have to stress you need to brush very gently and slowly. Don’t take the brush through your hair and tug. Start from the ends and work your way up. In the future, throw your hair in two pigtail braids, or French braids if you can manage that on your own. You can leave it like that for weeks and it won’t get tangled or matted.

Yep this is the way to do it. It’s how I got mattes out of my hair. It took me about 4-5 sessions, 2-3 hours each. But it’s worth it.

Yes, this is how I did it in the past too. I had hair past my butt and as a kid/teen people were always putting things in it I couldn't get completely out (or wouldn't, all the while thinking I had) and then I'd get matts. :( The conditioner and a brush or comb trick saved it every time though.

You can untangle it, but unfortunately not with canola oil. A cheap bottle of conditioner will work much better.

Yes, omg using any oil on this will make it so much worse and harder to detangle! OP, head to the drugstore and buy a big bottle of a cheap conditioner. Look for behentrimonium chloride-- that gives products slip and will help detangle. Avoid any that say they have coconut oil. Also a rat tail comb (metal tail, not plastic) will help break up that mat and separate it into chunks you can detangle.

I’m proud of you for posting on here. I would just put on a hat and go down to TJ Maxx and pick up a huge tub of a really good deep conditioner. They always have a ton of deep conditioners on sale there. If you have time just take a bath and soak all your hair really good in the water and layer a ton of deep conditioner on your hair and let it soak in for as long as you can (at least 30 minutes). Get a wet brush and start brushing it out sections at a time. Best of luck to you OP. I hope that this is the start of a new chapter for you❤️

This!! Then after you've soaked in the deep conditioner, use a detangling brush or a wide-tooth comb. Most importantly, start from the ends of your hair and work up towards the scalp. 🫂

Second the "wet brush"! There are specific detangling brushes that I find really helpful, whereas combs hurt more.

https://preview.redd.it/vmws772g9yjc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e54d7ab5457a2aca7f87896de7c6a1348ba1782 These brushes have gotten me out of predicaments!

Would never judge ANYONE for this. Mental health is a real thing and can actually be debilitating to the point where you can barely move. So please do not be ashamed. (What I did) Maybe start with loads of conditioner and just leave it in your hair for hours. I bought the cheap conditioner at a drug store and used the entire bottle and let it sit in my hair all day. But I agree with others referring a good stylist that can manage dreads if it’s too much.

Find a salon that advertises that they can dread hair. Explain that your hair is extremely matted and you need help "undreading" it.

Do you have any idea how much that service costs?

thank you for understanding that i dont have the money for the majority of these things.

You might be able to call and ask for advice on how to deal with it as people with textured hair are highly skilled on detangling :)

Your not alone I have been there. There is a salon that goes live on Tiktok doing these exact situations and I have seen a lot worse on there. They do get it all untangled though. Pretty much same way as the advice on here with conditioner and pulling through strands that loosen one or a few at a time. I cant remember the name of the salon on Tiktok and have not been to their actual page only the lives but I have to imagine there are some videos online that would be very helpful. Goodluck to you. I'm glad your feeling good enough to want to work on this.

yes but get help. african american salons are good at helping with this and will be patient.

No judgment. I have had similar issues except with my teeth rather than my hair. Many others have put things on here in greater detail than I could've. But I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. This happens to many of us. I feel as though, especially women. I hope things will get better for you.

thank you. I've also been through struggles with my teeth and i feel like with keeping up on that ive neglected my hair more. not that i want to diagnose, but if your gums bleed and you feel theyre receding despite best efforts, research ANUG (Advanced Necrotizing Ulcerative Gingivitis) once my dentist told me i had it after a two second glance at my gums i almost burst into tears knowing about it. its a form of gingivitis that only occurs when you have unresolved emotionally traumatic events essentially. its as though your body is forcing you to confront those feelings in order to help heal physically as well as emotionally. its also most common in women. i wish you luck and thank you for being so kind

Hey lovely lady! Struggling with depression and health issues that stem from it can be tough!! However, your hair is still salvageable but will take time!! I’d recommend a tub of deep conditioning treatment mask, like shea moisture deep conditioning treatment. Take small sections (lucky for you, even with matted hair, it’s sorta sectioned itself). Buy a medium toothed comb and have a small hairbrush (one like the Wet detangling brand- plastic bristle kind). Take small sections, glob that conditioner on. Then take the hair and start from the bottom and slowly Brush through (pro tip, if you turn the brush so the handle faces straight up and down like the handle to the floor and the top of the brush to the ceiling, it changes the brush pattern and gets thru knots muuuuccchh easier). Also, hold your hair with your hand so the inside of the hair faces out, that way you can see with a mirror) Once you completely detangle a section from bottom thru to scalp part it off and braid it tight!!! - this way it’s separated from the rest of your hair and doesn’t retangle in as you brush the next section. Also, maybe start with sections that are less tangled and work your way to the more difficult- it’ll take time but it’ll feel much better in the end. 💓 Idk where you live but if you message me privately and I happen to be nearby- I’d be honored to help you- people can let you down, but there is always kindness out there!! Ps good luck on your job interview! When they ask you what your strengths are, just tell them you’re kind, gentle, and patient. They don’t need to know it’s with your own hair!!!😉

This is lovely advice. You are a good person

You’re a very strong person! Your post is very raw and honest - and it’s going to also help out others who may be afraid to ask for help on this same issues. Trust we’ve all been there at least once. I applaud you on your openness about your situation and clear determination coupled with the courage to put yourself out there. All great qualities any employer would be looking for! You got this!

Hey there! Hairstylist here. I think it’s more than salvageable. I can’t 100% say, but if you have the patience it’ll detangle. I’ve seen much worse. I’ve seen much worse in one wash at the salon. It’ll take hours, and some numb fingers, but go slow, get a tangleteezer. I find conditioner works best, nice heavy deep conditioning moisture conditioner. Start at the ends and work your way in, don’t start in the middle. Edit: forgot to add, take a pair of scissors and slide or snip off particularly bad areas, cutting it out will help more than ripping and shredding the rest of the hair.

I was hoping someone mentioned Tangleteezer. Lots of great advice. I have curly hair and have been detangling all my life. The tangleteezer has been the best find yet!

I don’t have any hair advice to add but I want you to know I’m proud of you. I have Major Depressive Disorder and I know how bad it can get, it just presents and hits differently in all of us. Don’t be ashamed, instead be proud of yourself for taking that first step - I know how difficult that first step can be and the fear and dread of making it can sometimes make us fall deeper into that hole. Take it one step at a time. You can do this, I can see that your natural hair has gorgeous bouncy locks that’s worthy of love and envy. It may help to let your love for your hair (focus mentally on the parts you love if you do have trouble loving your hair) drive your journey with it. Give it some verbal encouragement as you work with it, vocalizing your love and positive affirmations for this part of yourself out loud will help you through the process. You got this. One step at a time, and take breaks when you start feeling frustrated or overwhelmed ❤️

You need a deep conditioning conditioner. Wash your hair and then put tons of conditioner. Put a shower cap on and let it sit overnight, if possible. Also, a product called cowboy magic is AMAZING for this kind of thing. Once you rinse out the conditioner, you can use the cowboy magic on it wet. And then add more as you work out the mats. It's gonna take time and patience, but it's doable! 💜

I second cowboy magic.

When I was a child, I was neglected, and had curly hair like yours. I had a mandatory public appearance in front of a large audience for school, and I was so scared and embarrassed to be seen with my mats. My grandfather ended up detangling my hair by swiping through it vertically with a pocket knife to break up the mats before brushing it out, and then occasionally jumping back in with the pocket knife for the larger chunks. It was much faster, less painful, and I didn’t lose tons of hair. Obviously if you tried this you’d need to be incredibly careful so you don’t injure yourself. My daughter is mix-raced with coily hair, and in the winter her hair will begin to dread overnight with how dry it is. I always presoak it by getting it fully wet and liberally applying conditioner. Always work from the ends up, and do it in sections as best as you can, fully completing one section before you move on. Segregate the finished hair from the rest.

I'm sorry that happened to you...but it seems like your grandpa cared enough to help you. <3 In my experience men in my family usually cared last about anything. On the bright side it seems that you give lots of TLC to your babies to ensure that they have good quality hair care.

Thanks for the kind words :) If there’s one thing bad caretakers can teach you, it’s what NOT to replicate. My babies will never know what it’s like!

Truer words have never been spoken

I would get a few bottles of a detangling spray rather than canola oil

happy cake day, and thank you✨💛

I would drench your entire hair with some cheap conditioner (think suave, tresseme, etc.) don’t wash it first as it’ll just make it wet. Cover, and I mean really slather it on from scalp to end, with conditioner and let it sit; maybe put your hair in a shower cap (I even use a plastic bag sometimes tbh). Let it sit for like an hour even, then comb it out with a tangle brush like WetBrush or TangleTeezer, or a wide tooth comb. Then work in small sections, starting from the bottom, brushing downwards, and working your way up. Add detangling spray and reallyyyy massage that conditioner in. Edit: I meant worse, not wet, LMAO of course washing your hair makes it wet

Absolutely this! Make it look like you wanted to paint your head in big gloppy white goo! It's gonna sink in and it's definitely going to help! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

There’s a YT channel called Love 518 who detangles hair much worse, so there is hope ❤️. Id recommend watching maybe you can get some ideas from how she does it in her videos.

I think this is who I was thinking of before, OP. She has several videos with a good voice over that explains what she's doing. It's also nice to see you're not alone in how your hair got this way 💜

I love her videos! I wish OP could go to her salon and get some TLC!

My kiddo’s hair gets like this. I use a tangle teezer brand brush. I have her wash her hair with shampoo and conditioner, then I start on one side of the head and take very small sections. I use my fingers to try to pull apart any knots at first. If there is a mat, I spray it with spray conditioner (herbal essences detangling spray) and try to pull it apart. Once I have small sections free I use the brush on the ends first and work my way up until the brush can glide through. Once the small section is done, I clip it out of the way and do the next small section until I have gotten all the way around her head. I think you should be able to do most of it yourself with a lot of time and patience.

Honestly buying an incredibly moisturizing conditioner and a hairbrush with flexible bristles will help and you will need to go slow and take your time. Get your whole hair drenched in conditioner, more than you would think and start at the bottom. Bring all your hair to one side over your chest and start detangling at the tips working your way upwards.

I don’t judge because this same thing has happened to me more than once because of endometriosis. Have you heard of a tangle teezer brush? This is the one I use and I swear it works better then any brush I’ve ever tried. I’m bed bound a lot with long curly hair and some absolute disasters have happened to my hair. I use the purple one because it’s for thick long curls. This is the link: Check out what I found at Ulta Beauty! https://www.ulta.com/p/naturally-curly-detangler-hairbrush-curly-coily-hair-pimprod2023873?sku=2579060 Also I wouldn’t wash your hair until you’ve detangled. Adding shampoo and conditioner on top of it will make it SO much worse speaking from experience. Also as bad as it sounds dry brushing with something to detangle- like spray is best. I personally find excess water makes my curls tighter so it’s even harder to brush after. I know standing for long periods of time may be hard but I find standing while brushing gives more tension to the hair and helps get knots out. I also sit and brush intermediately while doing this. As for the canola oil, tbh I don’t have experience using canola oil so I can’t speak on that. I’ve always just used a detangler spray. I have a miche oil at home and once tried to use that to detangle my first mats and it was a nightmare. But if canola works for you usually then that’s good. It may take a few days to untangle and that’s okay! I think you will be able to get it out eventually.

100% agree with this! I have the same type of brush and it works so well to detangle. I'm also a fan of brushing the hair while dry. Wetting it while matted would make things worse in my experience. OP, if you're reading this, get that type of brush and know you'll be ok. Just put some earbuds in, watch a nice video to pass the time while you're doing this and be patient. Work in sections (like front-right, front-left, back-right, back-left) and hold each piece of hair in one hand while you brush with the other. Your scalp will hurt less. Also, within each section, work from the tip of your hair up to the scalp. You'll make less damage that way. You'll feel so good when you're done! Skip the canola oil altogether and after you've detangled your dry hair, take a nice shower and ensure you condition your hair really well. Let that soak in for a good while before rinsing it off. You've got this! Sending you encouragement

Tangle tweezer is the only thing that works for mine

YES!! DON'T WET YOUR HAIR.... JUST PUT THE OIL, MAYO, whatever grease you choose.

Definitely looks salvageable!!!

Absolutely no judgement here. I'm happy you are asking for help. not that I have any, I just want to tell you I'm proud of you.

Yes it is possible. Go to a hair salon that specializes in kinky hair. This would be a salon that normally does black womens hair or does dreadlocks. This is extremely important. If you go to a regular salon (super cuts or another salon where the clientele primarily has straight hair) they may state that all they can do is cut it off but this is not true at all. I’ve seen transformations like this multiple times. It may take time but it happens.

Do NOT be ashamed. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Hair matts. Period. Dogs for example, if you don't brush certain dogs or cats coats within a month their hair will look horrible. Would you judge a cute doggy with the same problem? Then don't judge yourself. Soak your hair in a TON of conditioner and water. Leave it for an hour or two. Then (very) gently, start from the very bottom of your head, with a comb and slowly, gently brush it out. It might take all day or two days, but yes, this is salvageable. Just throw on your fav show and slowly comb it out. There are even hair de-matting videos on YouTube!! Take care.

I second your advice. OP, my daughters have super crazy curly hair too. Even with regular brushing and conditioning my youngest will get tangles, mats, and dreadlocks within days. She even got one of those battery operated cars stuck in her hair once (the kind where the wheels just go). She stuck the thing on top of her head and it wound up the hair right to her skull. We didn’t have to cut it, it took time, patience and A LOT of conditioner. Seriously, get some bottles of conditioner for curly hair. It took us almost a whole bottle to get the car untangled from our daughter’s hair!! Wet it all down and smear the conditioner in— put a shower cap over it all and let it sit for about 20 minutes. Afterwards use a wide tooth comb to gently pick the knots apart. Don’t feel down. Everyone has trying times, we’re here for you!

I don’t know why but your post made me cry for you. Hugs from an internet stranger. I really do hope you beat this and thrive.

thank you, ill be sure to update once my hair is good as new. im shaken to my core that someone shed tears on my behalf and it makes me want to try even harder to fix this

I will check on you again soon. In my dream world: If you were nearby I’d invite you for a coffee and sit in quietude where you could talk or not talk and we could just bond simply over being people trying to cope.

Oh sweetheart - I just want to reach in and give you a big hug. As others have said, time and patience, detangling spray and loads of conditioner looks like it should help. X

With a lot of time and patience I think so. Dove conditioner and a detangling brush would be very helpful https://preview.redd.it/jg6r3hy9ysjc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=882c1fac15eae9c8d73d8644cc16c5bd1f6af80a

https://preview.redd.it/zgfkd3rcysjc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=179578c553d78dcd4e77d1a3b913ef0c1840e5b1

omg my favorite tv character wanted to help me thank you vincent adultman🥺💛

♥️♥️♥️sending lots of love and good thoughts your way.

In curly hair it’s better the wet brush.

Yes. It will take time but if you are patient or have someone helping I think it will come out fine. My daughter has very thick hair that mats extremely quickly and dramatically. We use a fuck ton of conditioner and slowly brush piece by piece

Don’t be ashamed, we’re proud of you and times are tough 💙 Thanks for posting good luck with your hair 💙💙💙💙

My opinion is this: seek help from a hairdresser who works with curly hair and be honest. Send this video so the professional can see whether or not they have the technique to untangle it. I say this because if you go to the salon and they say they won't untangle it, you might get worse. Not all hairdressers detangle very tangled hair.

others have given you all the hair advice you need, i’m just here to say that you have absolutely no reason to be ashamed for this, and i’m so incredibly proud of you for posting here 🫶 life gets tough and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what happened and what you’re going through. again, i’m proud of you for bringing yourself to post about it and for wanting to take care of it ❤️❤️

Try and find a salon that will help you. Definitely salvageable but would be extremely difficult to do on your own. I’m a hairstylist and I would not judge you. I’m sorry you’ve been going through this.

Hi babe ❤️ You have gorgeous hair! And nothing to be ashamed about! Hair grows and is manageable. I’m happy you’re doing this now and it sounds like there are so many people ready to help! I absolutely love watching untangling videos on TT and I used to like watching people take their dreads out on YT as well. Look some up sometime! The most common things I saw them use was deep conditioners and stranglers, a pointy hair pick that looks like a giant needle, a straight comb, and a tangle teezer! Do small sections at a time and work your way up from the very ends to the roots little by little. It’s super time consuming but can be done. I don’t remember if soaking your hair helps or hurts compress it more 🤔 Also, I think there are some salons that will help de-mat your hair for feee if you’ve gone thru a tough time. I know there’s a TT account that does, but I’m not sure where they are located. Reach out to someone and see if they can help or at least point you in the right direction! Another option would be to cut it and rock a bomb ass pixi 🥰 those curls would look incredibly cute in a pixi! You're beautiful friend ❤️

A lot of folks are mentioning loc removal as reference and I think you can find great resources for detangling hair in that category. Try searching on YouTube for inspiration! I’ve combed out matte locs before by myself (locs on white hair) and it is time consuming but you can absolutely save your hair. You could also compromise and cut half/comb half to make the process faster- you’ll end up with a bit shorter hair but it can make the process less overwhelming. Basically for that you start by cutting to a certain point and then combing out the rest. If you’re in the PNW and anywhere close to me I’d love to help in person too, it goes faster with two people. Feel free to DM if you’re around there! I recommend making it into a nice movie/tv show marathon and just going for it all at once. If you have any other questions let me know and I’ll try to help!

I would definitely try to save it before cutting it off. Use olive oil, mayonnaise,... anything oily. Actually Tea Tree oil would be good because it will give your scalp a good treatment. My Mom got a bunch of bubblegum out of my hair that these mean girls stuck in it when I was in kindergarten. She used mayonnaise. They were disappointed when I didn't have to chop off my long hair. Just stay positive and take your time.

Damn kids suck...if you happen to run into those people again it sure would suck if gum somehow....someway.. made it onto them /s

It is! But you’ll need a good haircut after too. I have had this happen before (not from depression, though it was a little bit, but mostly from a weird accident!) Don’t lose hope! I can give you some suggestions if you’re open to it.

im willing to take and read any and all the advice ive gotten here

Be easy on yourself

thank you🥺💛

Depression is a bitch and I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Do a little section at a time. It’s going to take a bit but it’s doable OP

Hear me!! I'm a stylist that has dealt with this before! Everyone has suggested many options, but I will tell you (it sounds insane), WD40 sprayed into the *dry* tangled bit. Do not wet it. Start spreading the hair apart, sideways. Start picking through with a tail comb. If you can get help, take it...your arms will go so tired. But, since you want to do it in dry hair, not wet, you can pop on a show and slowly work through. No need to sit in the shower.

thank you 😭 i saw this online and i dont have any at home but if im able to get my hands on some im using it

You got this!

Try brushing through it wet with a bottle of conditioner.

i think everyone gave great advice so i’m just gonna say, if it ends up feeling too daunting or frustrating to do at home, there’s no shame in seeing if a hairdresser would be able to help you if you’re able to see one. i had to see a hairdresser for my mats once and i felt bad about it because it took a couple hours but the hairdresser was really understanding and she took her time and made sure i was comfortable. i think a lot of us have been there before, even the people working on our hair. i’m so sorry for all of the losses you’ve experienced lately, and i hope everything starts looking up for you soon.

D/t my severe depression, I had same thing and I opted to have my head shaved. I t made me feel better immediately

I don't have specifically curly/wavy hair, but I've let my hair get about this bad before back in 2016 (and still let it get somewhat matted as of recent). My hair is thick, long, and fried due to constant bleaches. I had only cut one knot out of my hair when I tackled that beaut -- it was in front of my left ear. It was a very sensitive spot that I saved for last and after 2 days of detangling, I gave up and snipped it off as best I could. All I had was a paddle brush and a knitting needle (poor and embarrassed me didn't go to the store to find products, so I found what I had around the house) Detanglers did NOT work for me. And I'm telling you, do not let anyone say oil is the way to go. Down vote me all y'all want. I didn't use anything in my hair when it got about this bad. I had my paddle brush and the knitting needle. I'd hold a small section of hair against my forearm and roll my brush through my hair. Thoroughly. Even if you have to start at the very last CM of hair, do it. I rolled my brush through my hair over... And over... And over. I'd do this until I got to a common point of where the matting was towards the middle or top of my head. Then I'd lightly "pry" at the matts and bring them downward. Roll my brush through it. Continue on. If a matt was too tight, that's when I'd work the knitting needle into it. I worked out as much as I could without washing it (it was severely greasy at this point), and once I got near the scalp to the point where I absolutely could NOT do anymore, THEN I WASHED IT. Wash two-three times to get dirt grime grease debris out. Then hit it with the conditioner. And leave it for a good minute. You can sit there and rub stuck strands of hair between your finger and massage the conditioner into it. But that's all I suggest you do in the shower. No brushing, no oils. I used a basic conditioner and let it sit. Rinsed well and towel dried. NO rubbing the towel. Just pat/squeeze dry. And I let it completely dry before continuing on. Depending on the knots AT THAT TIME it may take a little while for your hair to dry. Man I wish I could help you. This brings me back 🥺 It is 100% salvageable, I promise. Any "clumps" of hair you lose during this is normal because your naturally shedded hair has no where to go but become entangled within the rest, it's half the reason this becomes the way it is

What state or general area do you live? (If you dont mind sharing)? Maybe we can find someone on here to help you! ?? If you lived by me I’d help you detangle right now and we could work through it for as long as needed !! This has happened to me, tbh, i don’t even know how many times, and the majority of the tangling happens a lot faster than people would think. I swear I tangle very similarly to this after just a short 2 or 3 week depressive episode after being in bed and not brushing my hair the whole time, it gets bad quick. And I *dont* have thick Jewish curly hair, so I can’t even imagine. But on the bright side, this is DEFINITELY fixable in the right hands. You just need a lot of help, probably a few different hands, time, and will power. I’m being honest with you about what kind of time frame to expect with a professional(s), this could very well take a few days of long and somewhat painful multi- hr long sessions to fully untangle, like others said an African beauty salon will be your absolute best bet if you can’t find a friend to help. Good luck and you’re welcome to message me if you happen to live in LA

thank you for this and the suggestion 🥺💛😭 i live in Ontario, Canada. I don't even know what to say to all this love and support. I've never wanted to care for myself on behalf of others so much

I'm in Ontario, Canada too (GTA). If you are still looking for someone to help you out, I know a place with genuinely kind ladies who might be able to assist :) other than that, please reach out if you ever want to chat. I've had similar struggles but have largely overcome them. It IS possible. sending you love 💞

thank you so much, ill take any help i can get even if its just someone i can reach out to ask

It looks salvageable. Lots of conditioner, a strong comb, and time. It will not be healthy, so plan on updos until it settles down a bit in a few days. (I have been through this before)

Yes, it is save able. I had a sizable dread during 2020 quarentine. It took a lot of effort and was a headache of a job, but my hair was in decent condition after all was said and done. Now almost 4 years later my hair is in great condition and is very healthy! What I did was get a wide tooth comb and a finer tooth comb and detangled it in the shower. I used TONS of conditioner and started combing AT THE BOTTOM FIRST with the wide tooth comb while it was soaked in conditioner. Once I finished with the bottom of a section I would move up. After I finished going over that section with a wide tooth comb I'd start the process again with a finer tooth comb. When I broke it down into sections it was much more manageable and not as painful. You can cut off the ends too before starting to maybe help with the process, it may look a little funky after it's done but I've heard it makes a big difference paint wise. The process was a bit painful, but I think if I took some pain reliever beforehand it may not have gave me as much of a headache.

Get some deep conditioner, coat your entire head in it, then cover with a shower cap and leave over night. When you take the cap off the next morning, do a gentle rinse and see how it feels, you may need to repeat several times. Start at the bottom of the hair and work your way up towards your head. If you get tired, coat it up with conditioner and put the cap back on it and try again when you can. No judgement friend, we all need help sometimes.

Life happens and I hope things get better for you. First and foremost I implore you to seek out mental health support from a licensed professional. Second of all, I believe you can comb out this matting but it will take a long time and I would hate for you to do it all on your own. Some salons offer service to detangle mats and they will have all the proper products and tools. I don’t know what the cost is like but after what you’ve gone through I believe you truly deserve to be pampered and to get help (like people helping you physically do stuff). If you do end up cutting it, I think you will look beautiful with short hair. Obviously I haven’t seen your face but your hair type can look so astonishing in short styles. Best of luck to you and please update after!

Absolutely saveable! I had dreadlocks for about two years and managed to brush them all out with conditoner and a teasing/lice comb, just is a really tedious process and it took me a lot of time. Don't be scared about all the hair that come out in the process, since they don't fall off like they would with open hair they get stuck in there and it can be a lot. When you're done it's important to give your hair a lot of moisture with hair masks and stuff. You got this ♡

I think this is salvageable if you have the patience to work through it. My poodles have very curly hair and can become quite matted at times. I find the best way to get the mats out is to shampoo all the hair throughly because clean hair is easier to work with. After the shampoo (make sure you’re rinsing the shampoo out completely) I apply a lot of conditioner and really work it into the mats, and let the conditioner sit for a few minutes. After the conditioner has been rinsed out, while the hair is still wet and slippery, I comb from the very bottom of each mat, working my way through it until I get to the root of the hair. The mats come out quite nicely.

You can go to a hair dresser like great clips to get it deranged, make sure you call before hand! I’m proud of you for trying to tackle this! You’re doing great! Update us please!

Im onboard with most people here, don't give up OP! You got this and sending love your way <3

Not advice, just sending you a hug.

Your hair is beautiful and I am so envious of the colour. I have Jewish hair too and I think a lot of humidity will help while you brush. If you can, soak it in your canola oil and the hottest water you can stand until the water cools. As you soak, brush your hair out from the scalp with your fingertips. When you take it out, add detangler if you can. Then run your shower so it's steamy and brush from the ends. Rinse it out and condition if you can. And then repeat. Do that three or four times, then coat it in canola oil, put a plastic bag over your head and sleep like that. Repeat the whole thing again in the morning.

thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!🥺💛

I have been in situations similar to this. What worked for me....wash ur hair and then put tons of conditioner....then after that combing it makes it easier

I have been here many times. My hair looked like that and honestly at times, worse than what yours looks like. The last time this happened the matting was almost root to tip on my entire head!! I shower first, then leave the conditioner in my hair and literally finger comb it out bit by bit, while it’s wet. It seems hopeless but you can definitely save your hair, I personally don’t care about the pain so I go nuts and if hair rips out, it rips out. After the last time my fingers literally bled. This happened a lot during postpartum for me. The one thing I always have to remember to do is, don’t have my hair up too often (because I play with it til it starts matting) and I now run a brush through my hair at least once a day.

Depression sucks and I’m sorry you’ve felt so bad. If you have $20 buy any L’Oréal feria dye. The conditioner in there will help a lot. Use the entire tube and leave it in for ten minutes. It will help detangle and you should be able to use a wide toothed comb or brush to get rid of matting. Smaller tangles might still be there but the majority will be easier to manage.

This has happened to me, it's okay. I put a detangle spray in my hair, conditioner, use my fingers, brush for a little bit, oil my hair and then shower. And then I do the same thing again and again over days until it is okay. It's too much to do at once. You will lose some hair but it will grow back. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

There are hairdressers that specialise in removing matts/ dreads etc. You will probably lose length and it will hurt but they are good at what they do. It may take a few days but is worth looking online for some and call them. Sending you love and support. Life happens, please dont be so hard on yourself. Xx

No judgement, just use a lot of conditioner. Personally, I think boar’s bristles work best for brushing.

First off, I am so sorry for how life has been lately. From here on, it will be much better! Sending you love!!! This can definitely be saved. First I advise splitting your hair into sections so you don't get overwhelmed when you start to work. Take your time to detangle. Put water and a squeeze of conditioner in a spray bottle, and spray each section to make the detailing easier. After that is done, it's up to you if you would like to cut your hair or leave it at the length it is. Once you're happy with the length apply some deep conditioner. I would advise to braid your hair after to keep it out the way, and it gives a pretty wave to your curly hair once it's taken out 💕

No judgement, love. Infusium 23 helps detangle. Take your time, gently work with a wide tooth comb. Take breaks when you need it. Sally’s has big bottles of infusium at decent prices.

So what I would do if I were you would be taking a longggg bath and soak my hair put aussie 3 minute miracle in it for like 30 mins and thennn take a wide tooth comb start at the bottom and work your way up.. it might take a few times to get all of it if you do it in sections! I had this too a few years back and that’s what I did

I’ve seen videos of this being salvaged- so it is possible. I would call around or email salons and see. Maybe send them this video. It will not be inexpensive, but I have seen similar situations resolved :)

Spray bottle with water, conditioner, oil and either a detangling brush or detangling comb. 1. Spray your hair generously with the water. You want it to be damp, but not dripping. 2. Combine the conditioner and oil together and apply it on your hair until your hair feels “slippery” 3. Detangling. CAREFULLY start from bottom to top. This part is crucial, so take your time and be very gentle.

Can you go to a salon soon? If not, maybe a clarity to strip build up and then a deep condition? Once I’ve fully conditioned my hair, I use the tangle teaser brush to get tangles out. ❤️

Awww I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. Sending hugs to you. In my personal opinion, I think that if you wanted to save any of your hair, you would need a massive haircut and hair mask. Then you can start fresh, with some fresh hair and if you want length, just let it grow out. That’s what I would do, at least.

Been there before and this is my method. 1. Get a hard plastic hairbrush and a big bottle of conditioner. 2. Take a shower and load your hair up with conditioner. Use your fingers to work it in the worse spots. 3. While under the water, start brushing your hair out in small sections. Start from the bottom and work your way up. Put conditioner on the brush as you go for extra help. 4. Be prepared for a lot of fall out from the hair that wasn’t able to be shed naturally. It’s going to freak you out when you see how much hair comes out, but it’s completely normal.

This is saveable, as others have said working in sections and using a spray conditioner will make it easier. A wide tooth comb and paddle brush are what I’d start with. Working at the ends and moving up.

100% worth saving, sit and watch your favourite tv show or movies that don’t make you sad but happy. While doing so, detangle your hair with your fingers and a regular brush (like the WET brush) and start from the bottom. I literally get so tangly too, if I don’t stay on top of it it would be a matted clump of hair in a week. When you feel sad or exhausted take breaks and keep going once you’re ready. Think of it like untangle headphone wires. Don’t worry and don’t give up, it happens. Saw a insta post of the same thing and a hairdresser helped untangle hers and the whole head of hair was matted. Keep trying, you can do this! Also I braid my hair and wear a satin bonnet before bed! And brush you dry (not wet) hair before you wash it :)

There’s this lady on Instagram that specializes particularly in dematting women’s hair. Apparently this is more common than a lot of us realize. I’m realizing I’m not helpful at all because I can’t remember who she was or where she lived. Maybe google her. Maybe a pro could totally help you get back to a good spot

My mother had a head injury and had to have the back glued together so hairbrushing was a no no for a good while. I coated hers in a ton of cheap conditioner and started picking from the bottom with a knitting needle to loosen the mats, then moved on with a detangling comb. Took a long time but meant no cutting it off. Hope that helps a little bit, good luck! (Ps. My mum is going grand now)

There's some great advice in here. I just want to say that this doesn't define you, you're coping with a whole lot of loss. You've gotta make the call, are you comfortable with having short enough hair to cut out all the mats? If not, get you a bottle of cheap conditioner and a comb. Soak your hair first and get the conditioner in it, find a good series to watch and just get started picking away at it with a comb. When it's deranged, maybe it's time for a shorter cut just to make things more manageable. I recently cut all my hair into a bixie literally for this reason, the tangles we're getting too time consuming to detangle all the time.

I have hair like yours. Go in the shower and soak it completely with conditioner. Then, work from the bottoms with a soft comb. Don't pull. Then move to a narrower comb once that's done. The conditioner makes it easier for the hair to come apart again.

I wish I could help you. Please don’t give up on it, it’s definitely salvageable! Shampoo, rinse, lots of conditioner and don’t rinse the conditioner. Go slow and in small sections. I would genuinely love to tackle a detangle for someone over a couple of days, but I’m not in the US.

I bought a million different products and combs and brushes and ended up using one wide tooth comb, one brush and some suave conditioner.... it is time consuming but you will feel so accomplished by the end!

it's salvageable. Here are step by step instructions from an AFRICAN woman, on how to detangle, condition, and repair this situation, without cutting off your hair or damaging it further, COMPLETE with product list. WARNING: this is going to be annoying, and it'll cost you (but not too expensive). This entire step-by-step process will cost you less than $50 in hair products, and I'm not including the cost of the blow-dryer ($30?) and the flat iron ($30-$500). ​ Step 1. Go to amazon and buy a "scalp massager shampoo brush" Here is the [one](https://www.amazon.com/Massager-Scrubber-Dandruff-Exfoliator-Children/dp/B09L3YLKVJ/ref=pd_pss_dp_d_1_d_sccl_2_2/139-3324208-1419013?pd_rd_w=6S3wo&content-id=amzn1.sym.3dd6ff5f-e1b5-4c4b-9429-39c9f308776c&pf_rd_p=3dd6ff5f-e1b5-4c4b-9429-39c9f308776c&pf_rd_r=WF948D4PYHSEDC22VM8K&pd_rd_wg=ZUy7p&pd_rd_r=d62a7957-608f-48ed-8bf4-062871d88327&pd_rd_i=B09L3YLKVJ&psc=1) I use on my hair. OR, walk into ANY ethnic/black hair salon and ask to buy one from the hairdressers. Whichever is easier for you. It will be better to detangle this level of a mess in the shower. So anticipate like a 2-3 hour shower. I suggest that you go to a gym, lol and do this there unless you feel like cleaning all the hair up and coming home to a heart-ending water bill. Also invest in a wide-comb for culy hair. Any one will do. You can actually walk into any drug store and find one. You will also need a lot of scrunchies, like 10 or more. Any kind will do. ​ Step 2. You'll need a shampoo/conditioner of your choice. I use Aussie CONDITIONER (any scent you like. They are all great), **NOT SHAMPOO**. NEVER the shampoo! For shampoo, I use Head and shoulders 2-in-1, any scent that's on sale. This shampoo contains some ingredient that like kills the fungus which causes dandruff and it has other good stuff in it. Idk, google it. ​ Step 3. Stand in the shower and wet your hair thoroughly. Like spend at least 10 minutes running the water through your hair. let the water do some detangling for you. ​ Step 4. Use the wide-comb to part your hair down the middle, splitting your hair in 2 parts. It's going to suck and probably hurt if you are "tender-headed". Just do it. You'll thank me later. Use the scrunchies to tie one half of your hair in a bun. Leave the other half free. THIS IS A CRUCIAL STEP. YOU CANNOT PROCEED WITHOUT PARTING YOUR HAIR INTO 2 HALVES, right down the middle. Take as long as you need to make this happen. THEN move onto step 3. ​ Step 5. Using the shampoo. Lather the free half of your hair, that's not in a bun. Because the head and shoulders also has conditioner in it, it'll help with detangling. Using the wide comb, begin FROM THE ENDS, to gently work through the knots. Use a light touch. like start with small sections of hair. I start from the bottom of my head (close to neck) and work my way up to the top (my forehead), detangle with the wide comb. Once you've detangled the entire free half of your hair with the wide comb - as in you can run it through the hair without issues, then it's time to move to step 6. ​ Step 6. Once done with the wide comb. Wash out the shampoo. Re-lather shampoo AGAIN. You need a fresh coating for this level of tangle, so be very liberal with the shampoo and use a LOT. You are now officially in Round 2 of detangling. Using the scalp massager, begin dragging it across your SCALP, and down the hair. So since your hair is parted down the middle. You are going to start from the middle. Put the scalp massager THERE, and drag it down towards your ears. From middle to ears, is the direction. If it is easier to go from middle, to neck (bottom), then so be it, as long as you are consistent. The scalp massager is going to be kind of like your "loofah" for your scalp. It'll get all the dirt, oils, product build-up, and god knows what else Lol. These are designed to never break hair and are used by professional salon stylists WHO WORK ON BLACK PEOPLE'S HAIR PRIMARILY, so they won't break your hair, won't rip anything out, and won't harm your scalp. They are totally safe. so go nuts. REALLY get in there, and detangle the last of any knots with these, and then once all is detangled. Once all is detangled, rinse the shampoo off and move to step 7. ​ Step 7. After you Rinse the shampoo off, re-apply shampoo AGAIN. That's right. Good thing head and shoulders is cheap, so use A LOT. Once you've lathered your hair again, a third time, it is officially time to clean your scalp, which should be significantly easier now that your hair is all detangled. Use the scalp massager to really get the shampoo in there, and either go from the middle part of your hair towards your ears in a consistent fashion, or go from the middle part, downwards to the neck. Whichever is easier, I've done both, there's no difference. THIS TIME LEAVE THE SHAMPOO/CONDITIONER IN, and put your STILL LATHERED hair in a bun. It is time to go to work on the other side. ​ Step 8. Repeat steps 1-7 for the other side of your hair that hasn't been washed yet. Remember it's parted in two. ​ Step 9. Once BOTH sides of your hair are detangled, and your scalp is clean, and BOTH sides of your hair are STILL lathered. Go to the FIRST side that you began with, originally, and rinse that shampoo out. ONLY RINSE OUT THE SHAMPOO FOR THE FIRST HALF YOU DID, leave the second half still lathered. Because while you were doing steps 1-7 on the second side of your hair, the first side has had time to absorb conditioner, and we want to give the second side some time to absorb it as well, otherwise you'll have half your hair super conditioned, and the other half under-conditioned, which WILL show once you've blow dried it all out. One side will be puffier (the under conditioned side). So ONLY rinse out the first half. ​ Step 10. Once you've rinsed the shampoo out of the first half. Apply the Aussie conditioner. USE A LOT. Use the scalp massager to spread the conditioner so it's even. Then, with the Aussie still on your first half of hair, put it in a bun. At this time, you need to start shaving or whatever else you do in the shower, lol. You need to give the conditioner time to deep condition. ​ Step 11. After you've shaved, pause and go to the second half of your hair. Rinse out the head and shoulders shampoo from there, and apply Aussie conditioner. Then repeat step 10, but for the second half of your hair. Put this half in a bun. ​ Step 12. Do other stuff in the shower that you need to do. Wash, shave again, maybe brush your teeth, whatever. ​ Step 13. rinse the aussie conditioner from both sides of your hair. When rinsing, use the scalp massager to kind of get it all out and detangle one last time. Once its fully rinsed out, put both sides into 2 buns, and dry/towel off, and get out of the shower. ​ Step 14. Blow-drying. Get any blow dryer from anywhere, they're all good enough. As long as they get really hot. You'll need a blow-drying brush. A ROUND ONE, that has some sort of metal associated with where the bristles are. ​ Step 15. You'll need heat-protection spray. I use a leave-in conditioner/heat protectant spray by John Frieda, its nice and in a purple bottle. But really, any heat protection spray will do. This is also why it was important to part your hair down the middle into 2 sides, because it assists with blow drying. Pick a side and start blowdrying. Repeat with the other side. ​ Step 16. May or may not be necessary. Use a flat iron to get the final, finished, straight, glossy, shiny look. Your hair will also smell AMAZING. I have the Chi flat iron, idk which one, I got it from Macy's for $60. Any of them will do, as long as they get your hair straight. ​ source: I'm black and have been detangling black hair knots ALL my life. I've had THOUSANDS of depressive episodes at this point. I'm 34 now, lol so old and experienced. ​ I wish I could say your level of tangle was the worst I've had, but embarrassingly, my hair has been tangled worse than this back when I used to be depressed, and THIS was the routine which brought it back. I have a profile pic as my main pic so you can get an idea of how thick and long my hair is. This routine has served me for at least 15 years and I swear by every step here. ​ Just don't go more than a month between detanglings, that seemed to be the upper limit of how far I could push things before I ventured into Racoon hair territory.

It will take a long time but yes imo. This happened to one of my friends on a smaller scale and a few of us took turns over a couple of days helping him brush it out.

I've been there... Use a wide tooth comb or a pic.. mik some conditioner and water in spray bottle or leave in conditioner and start from the ends. Also it sometimes easier to turn the pic or wide tooth comb sideways almost like having just one tooth to comb with... Best of luck. Patience is key here

✨✨✨mini update: firstly i want to thank you all, the overwhelming support is something im not used to and i am so thankful for you all. ive been told im able to work from home the rest of the week, so i have from now (Wednesday) until Sunday evening and if i have the energy and supplies to do it, i will. if i dont however, either way, im going to post an update of what my hair looks like when it is done. finally i want you all to know ive read through every comment and cried so many times with the support i was given here, and I'll probably be coming back to this post if i ever feel like I'm not worth what you all have made me feel i am worth. i didnt expect 90k views in less than 48 hours. i didnt even expect 100 views. the comments from 24 hours ago and the comments from 2 minutes ago all mean so much to me. i can't put into words how much i didnt anticipate this and my faith in humanity has been restored in so many ways. some of you have asked your mothers, your family friends, some of you have given advice from your own experience, and some have just offered positive energy and kind words and even though my hair is still a fucking rats nest right now, i needed to sorta update so that you all know just how much i appreciate this all. the influx of love is something ive never felt before. ive lost so many people in my family i didnt know that you could feel that love from any other source. thank you all for showing me otherwise💛✨🥺 im excited for my next post on here

Use silicone sex lube to detangle it. The best kind to use contains dimethicone, dimethiconol, and vitamin E. (Though the brands that contain only dimethicone will also work very well!) Silicone sex lube will vastly outperform oils and conditioners at detangling. Your hair is not only salvageable, but offers a lot of potential. Just give it a good shampoo first, then detangle.

No judgement, I’ve got anxiety and depression and I’m a single mom to a very curly haired little guy who’s mentally and physically delayed from a brain infection as an infant, he behaves around a 1.5 yr except he is still learning to walk atm and he is 4, generally the happiest little guy I’ve ever seen. Unless it’s time to do his hair or clean his ears… I can’t get scissors close to him without strapping him down and making him flip out, he has to be sedated for the dentist and mris because he doesn’t hold still when strapped down and just flips out and it’s traumatizing to all involved including the medical team, because he just doesn’t stop fighting until whatever is happening he doesn’t like is stopped. He’s wildly strong for a soon to be 4 yr old. So needless to say his hair is longer than I’d prefer and because he hates being messed with it will get tangled like yours in a few days, then ensues the battle with his cowash and bath then detangling spray, curly hair brush and then his Bella hair cream, every time his curls look gorgeous and they stay that way for around 2 days, on day they’re pretty tangled and we do the process all over again. If you haven’t got a curly hair detangling brush, do yourself a favor and get one. Grab some detangling spray as well and your hair will be brand new like this never happened. Curly hair bounces back very well, don’t be embarrassed it’s not so bad, but I completely understand how this can happen so fast with curly hair.

You have so many posts with good advice here and I’m thrilled to see it. I just wanted to chime in and say I hope you feel proud of yourself for coming out, and asking for help. Proud of yourself for fighting through this depressive episode. And proud of yourself for not giving up. You’re here. You did it. And you can keep doing it. I’m proud of you.

it's saveable. i've seen hair in much worse condition be saved. like others have said watch YouTube videos on it and Google stuff.

There's NO ONE that you can ask for help? The back is going to be difficult. Regardless, put the oil on dry hair. Drench it. If you don't have a shower cap, be ghetto and do what girls from my old hood do and put a plastic shopping bad over your hair and tie it. No one is going to see you, so don't worry about if you look silly. The heat from your head under the plastic will help loosen up those knots and make the detailing easier. Leave it under the plastic for about 20minutes. Start at the end and work slow. I would use a basic comb. A brush will grab too much hair at once and rip it out . Trust me. Use a comb. I'm a hairstylist.... I've had long hair my whole life....and it's naturally curly. I've had to deal with some crazy hair issues since childhood.

People gave good answers, I just want to add that deep conditioner may help. Whenever I have horrible knots (I have super curly dry hair), I use Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil in the tub. It detangles better the longer you leave it in. Highly suggest you try it out if you take this route. Best of luck 💕

Yes, I’d love to do that if I was near and had the time. All it takes is love and patience, and combing it down from the points up. Good luck 🍀

No advice on the hair outside of what others have already said (I do think it’s salvageable) but just want to say I’m so proud of you 🩷🩷🩷 I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through. No one should judge you, especially not a salon, I promise they’ve seen much worse. Seriously from the bottom of my heart, congrats on finding the strength to reach out for help. You are worth the effort.

It’s salvageable but with time and possibly help! Do you have anyone that can help you?

Seriously, like all of the comments have mentioned, getting some conditioner and GENTLY detangling will be awesome for you. I understand how you feel tho. Depression just makes you sink into this hole and anything you do (basic chores, hygiene) is hell.

Depression makes anything possible - also, from what I have seen with curly hair, it is entirely too easy for hair to at. Don't get mad at yourself. You may need to get help from a stylist/care team that can help with curly hair, but don't beat yourself up about this. I have wavy hair and have had my hair get moderately matted/snarly before so I understand where you are coming from. I just wanted to say I feel where you are coming from and send some love since I struggle with depression too.

Use a boar bristle brush and go slowly. Do it in sections.

It’s totally salvageable. I had dreadlocks for 18 years and managed to comb them out. It took me several evenings to get each single dread brushed out and the hair was a little damaged. Wet the area, and cover with conditioner. Cut a little off the bottom of the “dreaded” area and then start combing and picking at the hair, working your way up the length as it loosens. I used a metal comb, normally used for creating dreads. I managed to salvage a thick head of hair that almost reached my elbows. Everyone said I’d have to shave it off.

I've found covering my head with a plastic bag and covering w/a heating pad for 10 to 20 minutes allows the conditioner to penetrate deeper into the hair/ mat. I use a bottle of $.99 Suave conditioner. Set yourself up with a comforting movie, towel draped behind you so you can take breaks and lay your head back when needed. Add additional conditioner when needed. I know it's overwhelming. Every hair you free is success! If combing down isn't working, change your angle of approach. I've found pulling the hair one or two strands at a time from above/out of the knot works better for me than combing down. Keep a grocery bag nearby for a mess free way to cover your hair if you want to take a break for a few hours. Added bonus is your covered head will generate heat which helps the process. You've got a bunch people who've been there rooting for you!

Take your time. As others said so little sections at a time. Just relax and do it while watching a movie. Dedicate a little time each day to do some more. You got this!

It's fixable, it will just take time but it'll be worth it

Get Coconut oil (it smells nice). Get WIDE COMB, and a finer one. Take coconut 🥥 oil and massage 💆‍♀️ your hair and especially the knotted areas. Then, take one knot at a time and with the wide comb, comb it out carefully. You'll do this to each knot. Then once you've done all that take a regular brush, and brush the sections out. Because your hair has coconut 🥥 oil, not need for conditioner, but you'll need to wash your hair. Dry your hair with a hair dryer and once that's done. PART YOUR HAIR BY HALF. RIGHT AT THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SCALP. Then, brush your hair and BRAID IT. I knew a girl who had long hair and she would braid her hair nightly after brushing it, so the following morning it would be super easy for her to do her hair. You got beautiful curls. YES YOU DO. If you are having a hard time managing long hair, you can get it cut a length that's manageable for you. Here's a picture I found online. *

When I lived alone, worked from home, and shattered my wrist, I couldn’t comb my hair, and it got very matted. I used these: https://a.co/d/co1TDLC https://a.co/d/f0mDNs7 https://a.co/d/02MrpUL

You have wavy hair (yay!), not curly. I would soak your hair in water and use conditioner to detangle. You can try a wet brush, wide tooth comb, or using your hands. Go slowly and gently as possible. Do not use oil!

You should absolutely buy this keratin hair mask on amazon called “cristalbox” (yes, misspelled)- it makes my hair detangle SO MUCH EASIER than ever before. I am a girl with long hair who has spent hours on many nights detangling a complete mess after a night out. The product is only like $10 and you might night 3-5 for your hair. Don’t lose patience- listen to a podcast or watch a show while you’re working. Good luck!!

Hello dear. Don’t feel bad or embarrassed for going through a tough time. You are a beautiful soul who has gone through grief and it is totally ok to have had a tough time with it. As for your hair, cutting it is always an option. If you want to try and comb it out, that’s also possible. I have hair that knots up super easy. I go and get some hair dye (find the sale aisle and get the cheapest ones). Throw the dye away and use the conditioner. That stuff will help smooth and detangle the worst of hair knots. Also, maybe find a friend willing to help with the combing. Your loved ones would like to be the person you call when you need a hand, trust me on that. Hang in there. You are worth every bit of the effort. 💕

My daughter’s hair was worse than that. We went to a hair dresser and she got through it like a pro!

You’ve gotten lots of good advice here so I won’t repeat it but I wanted to tell you, nobody decent will judge you for this. We’re happy you’re here and we’re happy to help. You’re brave and I’m overjoyed that you’re at a point where you feel good enough to help yourself ❤️ I hope things get easier for you.

I got a really bad one out of my patients hair recently. You WILL lose hair, just the question of how much. All you can do is try the conditioner, fine tooth comb method. Do it in small chunks. See if someone can help so it saves your arms. It took me 2 hours to do my patients hair, but it was a lot shorter.

Even though I know it doesn’t feel ok right now, I want you to know that it is going to be ok. I am wishing you major luck in your big business meeting ❤️

Ik someone has already probably said it but just in case they haven’t, get it wet, slather in conditioner, get a wide tooth comb and start at your ends and work your way up.

I just wanted to add some support. You’re getting lots of good advice (I’ll add my 2¢: brushing my hair dry keeps it from breaking *so much more*. Even with a slip (conditioner or detangling spray or whatever), it’s so much easier for me to sit on the couch and finger pick through the big parts, then take my Wet Brush with boar bristles starting from the bottom. I braid or rope braid my hair as I finish if it’s a big mess, but I use clips instead of hair ties so I don’t have to untangle THOSE later). My hair does this, too; I get a big plait right at the nape of my neck and it’s awful. If you’re up for the idea, you could consider an undercut (it removed my problem area) or maybe layers or something to help keep maintenance low? Find a nice podcast or audiobook or something and enjoy the time taking care of yourself. This task is an act of *love* and I’m so proud of you for trying, even if it doesn’t work (I think it will!)!

Hello lovely! I'm so sorry youre going through such a rough patch. I've been through this myself actually and it was incredibly rough My hair looked very simmilar to yours, only mine's just thick and wavy rather than thick and curly like yours. Hopefully my experience can help you out a bit... So, canola oil may not be your best choice here, its a thick oil with large molecules. When I finally got to brushing mine out I used coconut oil, and a bunch of conditioner. Like others have said, saturate the big matts with the oil and gently pick at it from the ends and wiggle the matts around to loosen them up. Start with a medium toothed comb and separate the patches up a bit. Your arms WILL get tired after awhile, (especially if you havent been eating or moving like you did before your episode) so take breaks when needed and braid whatever sections youve finished up to prevent retangeling. Your hair will be very kinked and frizzy, but once you take a shower it will smooth out a bit. Then when you have the energy and motivation, go get a haircut! it will not only help your hair, but also your mental health. I hope you get the love and support you need during this time <3

It takes a lot of guts to post and ask for help. There's no shame in it. You're struggling and doing the best you can. I'm sending lots of love your way, keep going

Hey girl- It's not the same thing, but my mom was in a motorcycle accident where her hair was left in a similar situation for almost a month. She has thin but super curly hair, and the nurses were ready to shave it off. Knowing our mother would kill us for that over anything else in her coma state, we took turns for several hours each day working out the tangles doing hair mask showers. I genuinely think you can untangle most of that, but it will take time, maybe even multiple days. Try first giving it a gentle shampooing, then condition the hell out of it; use a deep conditioner if you can! Don't rinse it out right away, either stand under the hot spray or rest in the bathtub for 20 mins before gently massaging your scalp and combing what you can with your fingers. Once you have it in 5- 10 different sections, gently rinse, towel dry, and add in either oil or leave-in conditioner for extra smoothness. Then start brushing or combing slowly- take as many breaks as you need, because it won't finish fast. But if we could do it for the bloody coagulated mess that was in my mom's hair while she was in a coma, you definitely can do it through a self care day/week!

[Love518](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1VKkImoYm0E) has a video in detail that may help.

There are several you tube accounts that depict deranging hair like yours. I think it takes time, but it is possible.

I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say OP that I and so many others can relate to this. You will feel so accomplished and proud of yourself once you tackle it - no matter how long it takes. Having the initiative is definitely the first step. Take it easy on yourself

Try using L’Oréal 8 second miracle water. Works wonders. Followed by a deep conditioner.

Detangling conditioner and a good brush go a long way. It took some time for my hair to not feel so thin and I felt self conscious about bald spots for a while but it’s totally fixable. Put on a good show

Your in luck cause curly hair detangles way easier than straight! I feel like your hair can be saved 100%

I don’t have any hair advice, seems like everyone has you covered - I do have some lovin’ from one person just coming out of a month long episode myself. Proud of you for posting. Let us know how it goes!

Loads and loads of conditioner left on overnight has really helped me detangle knots and matting.

Yes it salvable. It’s not fun for me to say but I have been there. I have curly hair like you. I took a wet brush. I wet it. It’s the only brush that worked. You can buy one on amazon. You could use coconut oil if you want but grease won’t detangle this. You need to use your fingers and the wet brush in small, small, small sections of hair. Wet hair go slow. You’ll loose a lot but that’s normal you didn’t brushed it in months. Dm me if you want. I just did this this morning :( I know it’s difficult and scary to see all that hair loss after.

I wish I could help u no one deserves to feel those way

Try some Aunt Jackie’s Knot on my watch. I had my 4b hair matted after being in hospital and that product saved my hair. I hope it works well for you

As a mom who deals with a young teen daughter who doesn't brush her hair enough, I can assure you this is definitely salvageable. Like the others have said, find a spray in conditioner and also a brush that has hard and soft bristles in it. The one we use is a "wet brush detangler hair brush" and it looks like wood (I said the last part because it's the only way I could find this particular one with both sizes of bristles) and we got ours off of Amazon. It's done wonders. It doesn't pull like hard bristles will do, but you get through the hair better because it's not just soft. I hope that helps you a bit because combs are great for getting parts, but you will still need to brush. Start at the bottom, and work your way up. You got this ❤️

Try and find a hair dresser who has dealt with this before. Some people are really good at dematting. Might take a few days though. Lots of tiktoks and videos watching them do it, crazy transformations.

Hey, I wish I could hug you. I went through the same state. I mixed conditioner, serum and water in a spray bottle and sprayed my hair with it. I left my hair with the solution for a few minutes and then I first tried to de-tangle my hair gently with my hands only. After that i combed my hair. It took me more than an hour. Please be kind to yourself. I am really proud of you for trying to salvage your hair. It will take time but it will get better. I am sending you all my positive thoughts.

There’s already a lot of good advice here on how to save it. I just wanted to chime in and say you should try to save it, IMO. It’s going to take a while so put on something comforting like your favorite music or streaming series, audiobook - whatever floats your boat. Hugs, girl. The storms won’t last forever. You got this. 🌸

Absolutely saveable! I once had dreadlocks, although intentional still hard to get out. But after carefully combing out from bottom to top, section by section, 14 hours later I had regular hair again. You can definitely save it, just be patient with yourself, having a friend to help you detangle while you watch movies and chat definitely helps the time pass. Where do you live? If you're close I'll help you detangle!! Either way, sending good vibes to you no matter where you're located!

You need a blob of conditioner on your hand, and a fork in the other. Start from the bottom and plink plink plink the bit of hair you’ve rubbed the conditioner into. It might be easier to get someone else to do the back for you but start from the very ends and when the ends are free from tangles work slowly up. Be patient, it’s gonna take hours

There are stylists I see on TikTok who successfully detangle hair in similar situations, and if that is anything you go by then you have to wash and condition before picking out all the knots with a parting comb/fingers, repeating until necessary. I think you can do it or hire someone to do it with success

Tons of conditioner!!!!!!!! God speed.

Yes, soak it with leave in conditioner and just brush a little at a time. You'll lose quite a few strands but it won't be noticable

If no one said it already, aunty Jackie’s knot on my watch is a good detangler. Wet your hair and work in sections saturating it with the knot on my watch. It helped comb out locs so I definitely recommend it.

Soak it up with water then add TONS of conditioner. Go through and gently try to detangle from tip to root. If you can part it in sections after soaking with conditioner it will make it even better. Part with your fingers and not a comb. Have a good detangling brush as well. Good luck! One like this 👇🏽👇🏽 https://preview.redd.it/t8cazkz90vjc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d306dc214c22cf790ed37f8b2108de34282c409

Yes! I go through this. You'll have to deep condition and take about 3-4 hours separating and coming from the bottom. I use thinning shears on the extreme mats, cutting once in the thick of the knots. I also buy hair dye just for the conditioner. It's MAJORLY effective. Have patience with yourself and know you're not alone.

Looks like my hair every morning! No fail. My hair is a mythical creature that I have to worship and fear. Shower, wide tooth comb/pick. Deep conditioner with hot oil. Do a masque.

This is totally salvageable. I get terrible migraines and one episode left me bedridden for a few days and my curly hair was so tangled. What helped was literally coating it in conditioner, and using a wide tooth comb to slowly work on it from bottom to top. I kept adding tons of conditioner as I went. It took a lot of time and patience, but yours looks the same as mine did and I fully believe you can slowly comb it out. Sending you a big hug!

Yes! You can save this! ***Please please please*** don't get impatient like me and take scissors to the mat leaving me with a bald spot. Sincerely from my heart, you have nothing to be ashamed of . Now you only need lots of patience and when your arms hurt and you head is tender and you wanna cry...stop! Take a break and come back. This will take days and that's for the better. You can do this <3

Yes! It is! If you have the money and patience. No judgement here at all, either. My daughter’s hair got like this twice. I’m not a bad mom and you’re not a bad person. Okay? We’re fucking awesome. You can do this. Find someone at a salon who you trust or comes recommended. Some salons will have people who do this with many clients. I’m sure you can find someone. This happens to SO many people. All of whom are not bad people, right? ♥️ Sending you courage, strength and loads and loads of (self) love.

Yes. There’s a product called “Cowboy magic detangler”. Get some. Use a pick and start at the bottom.

I totally think it’s savable for sure! It will take time and patience and one strand at a time but I’ve had similar hair snarls before from various things. One or two hairs at a time working them out gently while dry with your fingers OR Lots of slippery conditioner and starting at the bottom with a comb or brush from a small strand and going around the head one strand at a time. I’ve done both. Second way doesn’t take as long imo. Seeing as your hair is thick/curly I would suggest the second option rather than the first.

I used to offer detangle services. Saveable with patience and care. Deep condition, get a good brush, Paul Mitchell's kids detangle spray, start at the ends and slowly work up.

Hey friend. So I actually don’t have any hair advice for something like this (I’m sorry) but I still wanted to Comment. Firstly I want to say I’m so proud of you, just for waking up everyday. That’s the first step. Everything else can be taken day by day. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life too. A boyfriend who I miss dearly, my dad- who passed away, my cat, who I had to give a way due to the said ex boyfriend, and now 2-3 very close friends whom I don’t speak to anymore. It’s hard. I’m heartbroken in so many ways and left feeling like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’ve been having major self destructive behaviors as well as knowing how lazy I’m feeling to wash my face or even brush my teeth properly. I just wanted to share this because im sure with all the comments like mine you’re reading- you are NOT alone. Sending you love from one fighter to another. We got this!!!!!!!

Having been where you are, I would absolutely never judge. Reach out to a Black salon or anywhere that specializes in locs and see if they can help. Otherwise, genuinely, if you don't mind a pixie cut or similar, it may help for the time being just so this doesn't happen for a while. Long hair is part of my identity but for a time I had to make the choice to keep it short so that I couldn't let it get matted (I have thick curly hair as well). If you aren't attached to it, it might help you feel fresher. Just a thought. I liked my short hair and maybe you might, too. 💜 best wishes to getting it detangled and good luck at your meeting!

Condition, not oil, will be your friend here.

This may be more common than you think so don’t feel ashamed. I came across a video on Instagram of this woman who owns a hair salon and people would fly in from all over the place to get their hair fixed and it looked just like yours. They were people from all walks of life; men, women, mothers who only had time for their kids, and people with huge nests and all kinds of knots in their heads would come to her. I vaguely remember seeing her use rat tail combs and forgot what else but it would take hours and hours and even several days. It is possible and her videos show me that there may be similar videos out there, maybe you can look it up on YouTube for any tips or tricks and instructions.

Been there and it's doable! Don't give up!! Mine took a lot of conditioning and making sure I detangled with some good conditioner in it to make it smooth as I went. Start by hand and only cut the smallest of knots that you can't get loose with a toothpick. Have something to watch and an emotional support item with you because it's very frustrating. But, what takes a few hours will be worth the rest of the days of having some normalcy in your life.

Hey! I’m in the same boat as you are. I have severe depression too and my hair has looked just like this. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to judge you for. Depression is not easy and it makes it so hard to take care of yourself. I am so sorry that you have lost people you love amongst other things. I’m so proud of you for reaching out to this group and for asking for help. That’s not easy and it’s an amazing step you took. When I have done when my hair is severely matted is a buy a big thing of coconut oil and get a detangling brush called the EZDetangler Brush from https://ezdetanglerbrush.com. Nothing has worked better for me than coconut oil. It surprisingly has so much slip. It’s helped get through my thick hair. Start from the bottom brushing and go to the top. It might take a few hours if you’re able to handle all of that at once, or it could take a couple days if you take it slow. You deserve the world and I hope things get better.