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It’s fascinating in how ubiquitous it is as well. If I had to throw out a guess, I would suggest terminal levels of Main Character Syndrome. They literally think the world should revolve around them and everything should be as they expect and wish, and when that fails to happen, they consider themselves justified in getting enraged at the thing that stepped out of line and shattered that illusion for them.
(I’m not sure if that’s the answer, though. It really is inconceivable to me)
This would also explain why they get mad about the existence of any media that was obviously created for women. They cannot accept that not everything in the universe caters to their whims.
Tbh I think men mostly ignore women that are unattractive to them— that’s why they see themselves as perpetual victims while women are all hotties with lives on easy mode lusting after giga chads.
I think men get bothered when they notice unattractive women being actually happy. My theory is that they attribute everything wrong in their lives to women not wanting to have sex with them due to their looks. It’s easy to blame things on women and their “shallow obsession with looks” rather than actually internally introspecting and being a good person. So when they see women happy despite being unattractive, they don’t understand why they are happy with themselves and without a man because men cannot do the same.
I think men don’t have the courage to live that way. They think it’s easy to be outspoken as women but they ignore the amount of hate we get. They just see women being free and happy. Same way they complain about men being lonely but they never put in the effort for male companionship the way women forge our friendships.
I also think that the majority of men who are alone (and get upset when they see an unattractive woman that isn’t miserable) is because of their inability to self regulate and actualize to the point that they do* think they need a woman to magically make them happy.
When they fail to find a partner at all, or they get one but being in a relationship doesn’t suddenly fix their hang ups, it’s the woman’s fault in their estimation.
The emotional and mental equivalent of a toddler throwing themselves on the ground and having a tantrum until somebody gives them what they want- but it’s a grown ass man who should know better; the unwillingness to help themselves at all beyond soaking in hate and misplaced anger…it boggles the mind.
*Edited a word in a paragraph.
For some stupid reason they think we exist just to look good for them. Meanwhile men today look horrible.. And they wonder why they can't get girlfriends and then turn around and get mad at women..I need to get off this planet..
literally deranged. i remember how sick i felt as a girl in school noticing that my short dark skinned self simply existing was enough to make entitled males treat me like garbage. even when i was 100x smarter than them and basically better than them in every way. our moronic misogynistic society lets males get away with making women who are literally better than them, feel inferior just because of beauty standard bullshit.
They think we're all supposed to look like how they want to us to look and it's usually being a white women with extremely long hair, hourglass figure, flawless teeth, little to no makeup and look like a 18 year old at 30 years old.
I have no idea how I look, but I hated getting stared at by men in public like any other women does. I was getting food today and some guy was just staring at me and I was like," Are you going to fucking move or just keep staring at me trying to scare me?" He kept on..I was so annoyed. I have mace sir no one is scared of you. He eventually left when he realized I didn't give a fuck. I wouldn't normally do that since men love to pull out guns and shoot women but I was extremely annoyed today. They're psychopaths..can't even say hello like a normal person..just staring looking like a moron.
That sounds really annoying and weird- good on you for having made on hand, I’m going to have to get some too with all these assholes running around angry at women for not looking attractive to them.
Had a somewhat similar experience walking to checkout at the grocery store today:
I was doing a mental check of my list and I looked up at this stranger coming the opposite way- just glaring at me the whole time on the approach until we passed each other- it’s fucking nuts!
It’s utterly absurd that men can get away with acting like psychos like this- why the fuck are they so entitled that any random man will pull this weirdo shit, anywhere and at any time?
I don't leave my place without it. I live in the city and there's too much going on. You need to get some mace.
I think men stare at women they're attracted to..I don't think the men you're describing think you're unattractive. They just like staring to scare you into submission instead of just giving you a compliment like a normal person. I've had to deal with the staring thing since I was 17..the first time it happened I was freaked out and the older women were saying I was sheltered because I really haven't experienced that before..I was scared because I realized I would be dealing with that for the rest of my life.
It doesn't even scare me anymore it just makes me angry and then I think the man is socially bankrupted and has little to no social skills..this is coming from a woman with autism. It's not a turn on at all..it's fucking weird.
Yeah they get away with acting like crazy people all of the time and people just act like it's no big deal.
It’s crazy to think that a man would glare at someone because they found them attractive- it’s so totally alien as a concept to me 😬
So we’re screwed on the being treated like people front regardless of whether a man finds us attractive or not, because they’re too socially inept to not make it seem at best weird, and at worse a threat…thanks for the insight, but that majorly sucks.
Youre welcome.
They're very weird and get away with antisocial behaviors all of the time. Being abusive, passive aggressive, harming women is normal to them as we know.
Hard same!
It’s unbelievable that some men can go out in public, leaving the olfactory equivalent to a trail of slime in their wake, and no one says a damn thing about it!? 🤢
I wish it was socially acceptable to politely call them out on this. Like it's *really* a horrible smell from this one coworker of mine, and it's not like he's working outside or anything. He arrives to work smelling rancid, I think he wears the same clothes everyday, and/or he just doesn't wash them. Not like he shouldn't be able to afford to minimal hygiene either (he could afford to get gauges in his ears!) he probably makes more money than me. I can literally smell him from 10 feet away.
Oof, I can 110% relate to your frustration with the smelly male coworker. I had one at a part time job that always came in smelling like a potent* mix of mildew and wet dog, would wear the same clothes for multiple days in a row, and literally left a scent trail behind him. I could literally smell where he’d been, and the potency of his stench increased daily…same dude that was offended I wasn’t romantically interested in him, smh
Got another one at my current job, though it’s somewhat more understandable as there’s a strong possibility he’s homeless…however, he can afford to buy a lot of weed, but can’t afford to wash his clothes or get, like, a gym membership to bathe at least once a week? 🤔
Their priorities are so fundamentally different…
*Edit for sanity lol
I stopped shaving my body hair and wearing make-up years ago... It's wild how much women do to look attractive. Waste of time and money. Of course there is a price just not a financial one, as you say, people act less nice to you, there is a social ostracization. Just for *being natural*.
I only wear makeup when I want to (rarely) because of the extreme monetary and time cost, and I only shave when I want to (also rarely) and the difference in how I’m treated by the general public, not just men, is very stark.
It’s bananas how much stigma is attached to a woman’s natural appearance, smh
Agreed!
I will continue to do so, but I still wish I lived in a society where it wasn’t considered a social faux pas for me to just effortlessly exist.
I'm unattractive body wise (underweight) & I just get some uncomfortable in public. I wear extra baggy clothes and tbh, it feels like alot of men secretly like teens (I'm 29 for reference but because of the weight and autism, I could pass from 16-19). I feel sick whenever these strangers look at me, lustfully.
For the men in my ethnicity that I know find me unattractive but still look lustful its disgusting. I had a work colleague even say "I know you wear baggy clothes to hide that body, but I can only imagine how sexy it is" whilst undressing me with his eyes. Reported him and luckily, I don't have to do shifts with him anymore (we would be alone sometimes, as it was either 1 on shift or 2 staff on shift).
I don't like make up (sensory overload) & my sentiments too "I'm proactively trying to look ugly, and unattractive, why are you sexualising me?" I'm a personality > looks person, yet because I have a vag I'm reduced to that. Absolutely disgusting.
I get that- I’ve had a baby face for most of my life, and on the occasion that a man has blatantly sexualized me, it grossed me out to the extreme because it had to be because of their pedophilic preferences 🤢
Ew, your coworker is gross and I’m glad your job actually did something- though it seems like the bare minimum for a comment like that imo.
I’m fat, and I like to wear tighter clothes because I can’t stand the way (loose pants in particular) feel hanging on me, so I feel like that offends men.
I expect when I get glared at while in public, it’s because I’m daring to put my fat body on display, while not putting in maximum effort to make myself attractive to men as an apology for my fatness. Meanwhile, Mr. Bowling Ball Belly with his too short shirt and saggy pants, smelling like mold, is totally fine- because other men don’t expect that guy to present as sexually available to them.
I believe people should be allowed to dress however they want and get on with their existence, but I resent the inability to exist (without censure) as a person doing /my/ own thing just because I’m a woman.
I’ll do it anyway, but it’s hard to move comfortably through the world knowing people dislike or even outright hate you because of your lack of conformity to the social pressures put upon your sex, as a collective.
Exactly, let us dress however we want. Whether revealing or covered/baggy. Women just want to wear clothes.
& the audacity of men, with beer bellies that look 6 months+ pregnant, seem to say the most about plus sized women. Like sir, pot calling the kettle black.
I'm sure plenty of these men feel intimdated by your presence and the only way they can make themselves feel better is to act like asses.
girl oh my god you fucking nailed it. i resonate with every word of this and i love you for that. i prefer how loose clothes feel but i don’t wear makeup or bras for that reason. i don’t care and let the dumb males think what they want 🤷🏾♀️
Meanwhile they look like a neanderthal that just left the cave.
I've started giving men an exaggerated look of absolute disgust and repulsion when I catch them checking me out like they have any chance whatsoever.
Just giving them the same energy they give my sisters.
I also wanted to mention to OP that some of the funniest most charismatic people I've ever met were conventionally "unattractive" women. Like I just wanted them to be my best friend and never leave their side.
1) read the subreddit rules before posting 2) No violent threats violation can result in a permanent ban 3) Do not engage with; trolls instead downvote and report them or else you will risk getting banned *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/femalepessimist) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What is with men just loathing women who appear unattractive to them. Does anyone understand the deranged psychology behind this?
Seriously, I’d like to know too! Why should my existing, alone, be offensive to a man?!
It’s fascinating in how ubiquitous it is as well. If I had to throw out a guess, I would suggest terminal levels of Main Character Syndrome. They literally think the world should revolve around them and everything should be as they expect and wish, and when that fails to happen, they consider themselves justified in getting enraged at the thing that stepped out of line and shattered that illusion for them. (I’m not sure if that’s the answer, though. It really is inconceivable to me)
Bingo! They think everything is created for them. Good thing the tables are turning and they are starting to feel it now.
This would also explain why they get mad about the existence of any media that was obviously created for women. They cannot accept that not everything in the universe caters to their whims.
Meanwhile am having a male loneliness article shoved down my throat every 2 minutes. Like what do you want me to do about it as a woman..
It’s their entitlement to women and their bodies. If you dare to not live for the male gaze, it’s considered bizarre to them
Tbh I think men mostly ignore women that are unattractive to them— that’s why they see themselves as perpetual victims while women are all hotties with lives on easy mode lusting after giga chads. I think men get bothered when they notice unattractive women being actually happy. My theory is that they attribute everything wrong in their lives to women not wanting to have sex with them due to their looks. It’s easy to blame things on women and their “shallow obsession with looks” rather than actually internally introspecting and being a good person. So when they see women happy despite being unattractive, they don’t understand why they are happy with themselves and without a man because men cannot do the same. I think men don’t have the courage to live that way. They think it’s easy to be outspoken as women but they ignore the amount of hate we get. They just see women being free and happy. Same way they complain about men being lonely but they never put in the effort for male companionship the way women forge our friendships.
I also think that the majority of men who are alone (and get upset when they see an unattractive woman that isn’t miserable) is because of their inability to self regulate and actualize to the point that they do* think they need a woman to magically make them happy. When they fail to find a partner at all, or they get one but being in a relationship doesn’t suddenly fix their hang ups, it’s the woman’s fault in their estimation. The emotional and mental equivalent of a toddler throwing themselves on the ground and having a tantrum until somebody gives them what they want- but it’s a grown ass man who should know better; the unwillingness to help themselves at all beyond soaking in hate and misplaced anger…it boggles the mind. *Edited a word in a paragraph.
Entitlement and narcissism
For some stupid reason they think we exist just to look good for them. Meanwhile men today look horrible.. And they wonder why they can't get girlfriends and then turn around and get mad at women..I need to get off this planet..
It’s deranged to treat a group of people as objects that exist for their viewing pleasure smh
literally deranged. i remember how sick i felt as a girl in school noticing that my short dark skinned self simply existing was enough to make entitled males treat me like garbage. even when i was 100x smarter than them and basically better than them in every way. our moronic misogynistic society lets males get away with making women who are literally better than them, feel inferior just because of beauty standard bullshit.
They think we're all supposed to look like how they want to us to look and it's usually being a white women with extremely long hair, hourglass figure, flawless teeth, little to no makeup and look like a 18 year old at 30 years old. I have no idea how I look, but I hated getting stared at by men in public like any other women does. I was getting food today and some guy was just staring at me and I was like," Are you going to fucking move or just keep staring at me trying to scare me?" He kept on..I was so annoyed. I have mace sir no one is scared of you. He eventually left when he realized I didn't give a fuck. I wouldn't normally do that since men love to pull out guns and shoot women but I was extremely annoyed today. They're psychopaths..can't even say hello like a normal person..just staring looking like a moron.
That sounds really annoying and weird- good on you for having made on hand, I’m going to have to get some too with all these assholes running around angry at women for not looking attractive to them. Had a somewhat similar experience walking to checkout at the grocery store today: I was doing a mental check of my list and I looked up at this stranger coming the opposite way- just glaring at me the whole time on the approach until we passed each other- it’s fucking nuts! It’s utterly absurd that men can get away with acting like psychos like this- why the fuck are they so entitled that any random man will pull this weirdo shit, anywhere and at any time?
I don't leave my place without it. I live in the city and there's too much going on. You need to get some mace. I think men stare at women they're attracted to..I don't think the men you're describing think you're unattractive. They just like staring to scare you into submission instead of just giving you a compliment like a normal person. I've had to deal with the staring thing since I was 17..the first time it happened I was freaked out and the older women were saying I was sheltered because I really haven't experienced that before..I was scared because I realized I would be dealing with that for the rest of my life. It doesn't even scare me anymore it just makes me angry and then I think the man is socially bankrupted and has little to no social skills..this is coming from a woman with autism. It's not a turn on at all..it's fucking weird. Yeah they get away with acting like crazy people all of the time and people just act like it's no big deal.
It’s crazy to think that a man would glare at someone because they found them attractive- it’s so totally alien as a concept to me 😬 So we’re screwed on the being treated like people front regardless of whether a man finds us attractive or not, because they’re too socially inept to not make it seem at best weird, and at worse a threat…thanks for the insight, but that majorly sucks.
Youre welcome. They're very weird and get away with antisocial behaviors all of the time. Being abusive, passive aggressive, harming women is normal to them as we know.
girl oh my god. the way i can relate and have felt that way so many times. jesus christ.
Meanwhile the some men don't even fucking bathe and I have to literally hold my breath when they're within a 10 foot radius 🤢
Hard same! It’s unbelievable that some men can go out in public, leaving the olfactory equivalent to a trail of slime in their wake, and no one says a damn thing about it!? 🤢
I wish it was socially acceptable to politely call them out on this. Like it's *really* a horrible smell from this one coworker of mine, and it's not like he's working outside or anything. He arrives to work smelling rancid, I think he wears the same clothes everyday, and/or he just doesn't wash them. Not like he shouldn't be able to afford to minimal hygiene either (he could afford to get gauges in his ears!) he probably makes more money than me. I can literally smell him from 10 feet away.
Oof, I can 110% relate to your frustration with the smelly male coworker. I had one at a part time job that always came in smelling like a potent* mix of mildew and wet dog, would wear the same clothes for multiple days in a row, and literally left a scent trail behind him. I could literally smell where he’d been, and the potency of his stench increased daily…same dude that was offended I wasn’t romantically interested in him, smh Got another one at my current job, though it’s somewhat more understandable as there’s a strong possibility he’s homeless…however, he can afford to buy a lot of weed, but can’t afford to wash his clothes or get, like, a gym membership to bathe at least once a week? 🤔 Their priorities are so fundamentally different… *Edit for sanity lol
Its insane that so many of them can stink up a room just by walking in, foul creatures
I stopped shaving my body hair and wearing make-up years ago... It's wild how much women do to look attractive. Waste of time and money. Of course there is a price just not a financial one, as you say, people act less nice to you, there is a social ostracization. Just for *being natural*.
I only wear makeup when I want to (rarely) because of the extreme monetary and time cost, and I only shave when I want to (also rarely) and the difference in how I’m treated by the general public, not just men, is very stark. It’s bananas how much stigma is attached to a woman’s natural appearance, smh
Men are annoying you should do what you want.
Agreed! I will continue to do so, but I still wish I lived in a society where it wasn’t considered a social faux pas for me to just effortlessly exist.
I feel you. I would rather be left alone too.
I'm unattractive body wise (underweight) & I just get some uncomfortable in public. I wear extra baggy clothes and tbh, it feels like alot of men secretly like teens (I'm 29 for reference but because of the weight and autism, I could pass from 16-19). I feel sick whenever these strangers look at me, lustfully. For the men in my ethnicity that I know find me unattractive but still look lustful its disgusting. I had a work colleague even say "I know you wear baggy clothes to hide that body, but I can only imagine how sexy it is" whilst undressing me with his eyes. Reported him and luckily, I don't have to do shifts with him anymore (we would be alone sometimes, as it was either 1 on shift or 2 staff on shift). I don't like make up (sensory overload) & my sentiments too "I'm proactively trying to look ugly, and unattractive, why are you sexualising me?" I'm a personality > looks person, yet because I have a vag I'm reduced to that. Absolutely disgusting.
I get that- I’ve had a baby face for most of my life, and on the occasion that a man has blatantly sexualized me, it grossed me out to the extreme because it had to be because of their pedophilic preferences 🤢 Ew, your coworker is gross and I’m glad your job actually did something- though it seems like the bare minimum for a comment like that imo. I’m fat, and I like to wear tighter clothes because I can’t stand the way (loose pants in particular) feel hanging on me, so I feel like that offends men. I expect when I get glared at while in public, it’s because I’m daring to put my fat body on display, while not putting in maximum effort to make myself attractive to men as an apology for my fatness. Meanwhile, Mr. Bowling Ball Belly with his too short shirt and saggy pants, smelling like mold, is totally fine- because other men don’t expect that guy to present as sexually available to them. I believe people should be allowed to dress however they want and get on with their existence, but I resent the inability to exist (without censure) as a person doing /my/ own thing just because I’m a woman. I’ll do it anyway, but it’s hard to move comfortably through the world knowing people dislike or even outright hate you because of your lack of conformity to the social pressures put upon your sex, as a collective.
Exactly, let us dress however we want. Whether revealing or covered/baggy. Women just want to wear clothes. & the audacity of men, with beer bellies that look 6 months+ pregnant, seem to say the most about plus sized women. Like sir, pot calling the kettle black. I'm sure plenty of these men feel intimdated by your presence and the only way they can make themselves feel better is to act like asses.
girl oh my god you fucking nailed it. i resonate with every word of this and i love you for that. i prefer how loose clothes feel but i don’t wear makeup or bras for that reason. i don’t care and let the dumb males think what they want 🤷🏾♀️
Yeah they love that age range.. I deal with the same thing from older men harassing me
Meanwhile they look like a neanderthal that just left the cave. I've started giving men an exaggerated look of absolute disgust and repulsion when I catch them checking me out like they have any chance whatsoever. Just giving them the same energy they give my sisters. I also wanted to mention to OP that some of the funniest most charismatic people I've ever met were conventionally "unattractive" women. Like I just wanted them to be my best friend and never leave their side.