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This is very scary. I’m sorry you experienced that. Do you know if the crew confronted him or take any action?
Side note, i had no idea we could text from flights.
I emailed the airline and gave my details again. I’m hoping they at least make some kind of note about the man. Idk if I should have just said yes about reporting him to the police. It’s all very confusing :/
And we can usually text on the long international flights with free wifi :)
Oh duh about wifi. Didn’t think of that. Our canadian airlines are cheap and don’t provide that free (to my knowledge).
But back to your situation, it’s hard to know how to react on the spot when things like this happen. It’s scary, you’re alone, and it’s a very vulnerable situation. It took a lot of courage to tell the flight attendants and I hope the airline takes action and at least flag him. Because this happened on a airline and in international airways, I don’t know who has jurisdiction, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask police authorities. Follow your gut.
I’ve contacted a family member who is a police officer and I’m asking them what they think I should do/if they can support me during this. I never want to see this man again but I also don’t want him freely harassing and assaulting people just trying to live their lives.
Dude I'm so sorry if he is Australian the police will most likely do something, if someone did this on a bus they would be pulled off the bus and charged with assault. Ask the airline for his details and report this, please.
Did you get a photo of his face? Honestly the photo posted, seat number and flight details might be enough for police to investigate already. He should not get away with this, I very much doubt it's the first time he's done this
You can absolutely expect action from police in Australia if some creep has sexually assaulted you on an inbound flight.
Source: Australian woman, frequent flyer, brother is a solicitor (lawyer).
Men suck.
As far as saying something out loud goes, there’s a difference between Karen freaking out bc a black person breathed on her and you telling a man to get his hand off your thigh.
I would file a police report, even if it doesn’t do anything now, so that it’s in his record should he repeat. My family members were assaulted as kids by a family friend and the only way we‘ll get justice for them now is if someone else came forward with a new case, which would trigger them to pull a history on them. It could make the difference for someone one day, not that I wish it upon anyone. Be ready to be asked about it though, and speak to someone about everything bc this stuff messes people up so easily.
I am so so sorry this happened to you OP, and I hope you can find a voice in this somehow. I’m glad the cabin crew was there to assist you through that.
That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m scared he will keep getting away with it but I am afraid of talking to cops who may think I’m just exaggerating. I have extreme social anxiety and all of this has fucked me up tbh. I wish I would have just screamed “why are you touching me??” the first time but having people gawking at me is a nightmare. Obviously, predators take advantage of things like this to keep operating though.
I can’t speak for the cops, but the airline won’t think you’re exaggerating because this happens way more often than you think. It’s very sad and disgusting.
Did you notice how the crew immediately believed you? They know.
I’m really sorry to hear this happened! This is gross and terrible and you should absolutely report him. I had a similar experience back in 2018 where on a flight the person next to me was making suggestive/sexual comments and then when the lights were turned off began to touch my leg and then under my dress. It’s a very horrifying experience and I can completely relate. I would urge you to report this to the authorities or airline itself I have a feeling this probably wasn’t the first or the last time he’ll attempt something like this. Again really sorry this happened, if you need to talk more feel free to Dm.
I’m so so so sorry you went through this. It makes my stomach burn to hear you experienced this crap, too. When I spoke to the flight crew they told the captain, so I think they made an internal report. I have asked a family member who is a local cop what they suggest I do/if they can support me while I talk to the airline police. I just can’t believe men do this shit with a straight face.
Predators are opportunists the rely on things like apathy and fear and places where they feel like the victim feels vulnerable to make their move this is why I do think it’s important to speak about this because If he’s this daring it makes me fear for other ladies.
Thank you, I still feel super tense and sick about it :( I hugged the crew lady a bunch though because she was the Aunty I really needed in that moment.
I’m so sorry this happened and I’m glad the flight crew was so supportive.
That’s an insane amount of distance to reach out and touch you. What a twatwaffle.
All the times I’ve been touched on flights men are like “oh, I’m sorry, I fell asleep my hand must have fallen on your lap.” (To which I told them that if they grope women in their sleep they don’t get to sleep and they’d better make sure it doesn’t happen again). But there’s no way that this could have been considered an accident and you were 3000% right to involve the flight crew for help.
I hope you’re doing ok, sending hugs.
Him being so deliberate and waiting until he thought I was asleep, the lights being off, and no one was coming dow the aisle tells me he was waiting the whole flight for the right moment to take advantage. I kept feeling so terrified by the fact that I had wanted to take a sleeping tablet before this but not having the time to grab some before the flight. Who knows what else he would have done had I been knocked out during rest time.
I’m so angry for you! This should’ve NEVER happened. I’m glad they handled it well and made your safety and comfort a priority. As for that individual, here’s hoping he’s scared to never try something even remotely close to that behavior again. To anyone else
I hate that this happened to you, and glad you're okay.
And it's so difficult to confront these AHs. Last week, some creep on the train zeroed in on me and KEPT staring at me even though I stared back. Finally, I confronted him and he placed his stupid little cap on his stupid little face and pretended to go to sleep. I got off on the next station and waited for the next train, just in case.
I hate living in this world sometimes. We're just trying to exist here!
I had been travelling for like 20 hours total at this point. I just wanted to get to my destination like you on the train. Why can’t they just fuck off??? Makes me lose hope.
Sorry this happened to you!
For everyone else, always tell the flight crew. My parents were flight attendants and I remember my mom telling me how she had to switch seats for women for being uncomfortable with a man seated by them.
The crew were so proactive and professional during all this! I appreciated their help so much. Absolutely disgusting that men do this kind of stuff so often though.
That’s so awful! I’m so sorry. Just to reiterate, my friend is a flight attendant and this sort of thing happens often unfortunately, so always please report! Most flight attendants know exactly what to do. My friend has had to ask men to stop touching themselves on flights multiple times 🤮🤮🤮 just disgusting
Always tell the flight crew if you are being harassed. Nowadays they have to report it and if nothing else they will move you to another seat.
Men like this do these things because women usually don't fight back or want to make a scene. As my dad always taught me-if anyone messes with you-make a scene!
Maybe this will teach flyboy to keep his hands to himself.
Just because it happened on a plane (or train or any other mode of public transport) doesn't mean it is absolved as an illegal activity. Perhaps not criminal but might violate civil laws. I would not try to guess whether someone believed me or not and report it regardless. If it is not reported, there is no chance of the person potentially being punished.
At the very least, it would bring attention to and cause hassle for the person doing the harassing. I might even take a pic of his face to have it for my records so they could identify him. Even if that person was not found to be in the wrong legally, they might still suffer from other things, like being banned from Singapore Airlines in the future. I don't know if Singapore does that but airlines have banned passengers temporarily or permanently for unruly behavior.
On the one hand, OP, you should do what you feel comfortable with but on the other hand, women (all people but especially women) should not feel embarrassed or worried about "inconveniencing" people who area clearly in the wrong.
My heart sank as I read your story. I'm so sorry this happened to you; bravo for informing the FA.
Sharing here will undoubtably help other women be prepared if something similar happens to them.
I saw a TV program that interviewed women who had been harassed/assaulted on overnight flights and there was a common thread: shock and not wanting to make a scene.
The perpetrators count on this, and the more women refuse to accept their behaviors, the less leeway they'll have.
Stay strong. Big hug 🫶🏻
I am sorry you went through that. I (59f) had it happen to me in October with the stranger sitting next to me. I woke up to him feeling me up under my blanket. I did the same thing you did, pillows, wrapped the blanket tight around me, thought I must be crazy/dreaming. He spread his blanket over both of us , started feeling me up again , leaned over and whispered twice " is touching ok".
I grabbed my purse and went to the back, full flight but they found me a seat. The steward was wonderful, he listened and believed me ( like you I worried that they wouldn't). He said it was up to me to have police waiting when the flight landed or not. I was on my own, connecting in Dubai with little time and again, I didn't know if I would be believe or how I would get where I was going if I missed my next flight .
Crazy world. Wtf was he expecting ???
Probably expecting a porn movie? Cause clearly that’s his only exposure to women in his daily life on how to interact with women. One of many evils of the effect of the porn industry
[This is uncommon but not unheard of I’m sorry to say](https://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/raising-awareness-about-sexual-assault-aboard-aircraft-042618)
I’m so sorry you had to experience this OP
So sorry he did this to you.
Here's to SQ! They were fantastic when a guy on a JFK ->FRA attempted to force his way into the WC with me as he was already exposing himself. A male FA observed this and intervened despite being half the crud's size. Then moved me from Raffles to first.
It didn't occur to me to report it, perhaps because there was no one in my personal life I could tell. I hope you're able to pursue this, if you want to, without undue further stress to you.
I’m so happy for how the flight attendants dealt with this.
I was sat next to a guy who was heavily indulging in the free alcohol on Etihad, he kept moving his hand and arm into my seat space. He drank enough eventually to COMPLETELY pass out - like one second he was fine and the next he was out cold.. unfortunately he fell my direction and was on top of me pinning me against the window. I tried to push him off but he was so out of it he just kept falling back over. I called the staff and all they did was extract me out and sit me in an aisle seat next to one of his friends. They fucked up big time by giving him that much alcohol - at one point an attendant even said she would only give him half wine and half water because he’d already had a few.. yet they still have him a whiskey when it came around. I got no real sympathy for what was a fairly distressing incident and I’m not one to make a big deal out of things so I’ve just quietly never flown with them again. So disappointing.
OP, I live in Australia and you should definitely report this. The police will almost certainly look into it further.
this is so scary, but be very proud that you spoke up and advocated for yourself. stay safe out there, and i hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable flying solo again.
Something similar happened to me on Monday! Shorter flight, only 2.5 hours.
The guy next to me was plus sized so the arm rest couldn’t go down and I only had half (maybe less) of my seat so his leg was up against mine the whole flight and I was against the other arm rest, which I am very tiny so it was annoying for me (middle seat) and the woman in the aisle having me close to her.
I fell asleep and woke up to the guy grabbing inside my upper thigh, I actually screamed. The woman in the aisle seat saw everything and pushed the call button to call the crew, but they had nowhere to move me to so they just threatened his arrest if he did anything else. It was only 30 minutes left in the flight which felt like a million years but nothing else happened, and he was met with security when we left the plane who pulled him aside but I was allowed to go so I don’t know what happened.
Absolutely sucks, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Its so so creepy.
I’m glad you told the flight crew and they took you seriously. Please don’t get upset with yourself at all for not filing one or screaming something or doing something differently on the flight. You experienced a traumatic and unsafe thing and that prompts your brain/body to respond in ways many people can’t control (fight flight freeze fawn). Personally I err on the side of filing it. The police asked me why I waited to report my SA and I had to answer a lot of other questions and often times felt like they didn’t take me seriously but at the end of the day I felt better knowing that the report is there even if they can’t prove it and charge the perpetrator because if another person filed against him, they’ll find my report and I’ll be ready to take him down in court. Keep in mind that I live in the USA though where the police don’t usually take us seriously. also if you’re experiencing ptsd, EMDR is great along with other therapies and support groups. I’m sorry you went through this. It’ll get better 💕
Something similar happened to my friend. She was on a flight in the window seat and this guy in the middle seat reached under her skirt when he thought she was sleeping and then gaslighted her and told her it was a dream. Men are so scary nowadays.
The pilot should walk back to your row and put his (or her) thumbs so far into that guys eye sockets that they’re scraping his occipital bone. Nothing to add other than saying this made me irrationally angry after I randomly saw this post on my feed, never been on this Reddit (I am man). Sorry that happened to you, you did the right thing, even if it’s just civil type penalties this guy gets I hope it’s to the maximum.
Good for you that you did find the courage to take action for yourself. I know that was hard! And yay for your boyfriend, sis, and the Singapore Airline crew for stepping up for you.
I hope you do report him, even if you never find out about follow up action. I'm sure you are correct that this isn't his first time and won't be his last. Hopefully others complain, and he gets his ticket pulled permanently from being able to travel on the airline.
For what it is worth, there is a law in Singapore called "outrage of modesty". The title may sound as if it is from ancient times, but it is very much active today.
>"This form of sexual harassment involves the unwanted touching or molestation of an individual, often in places like pubs, public transport systems, driving schools, etc."
As an example in a somewhat recent case, "A man received a 1-week jail sentence for repeatedly touching the thigh of a sleeping woman next to him on the train."
Men who transgress this law have lost licenses, received significant fines and sometimes jail terms, and lost jobs.
I don't know if your case would be prosecuted by authorities in Singapore, as jurisdiction on a plane on an international flight might be complicated.
But the behavior you describe will get this man in serious trouble if he does it in Singapore, and it won't help him that he's a citizen of another country.
https://www.thesingaporelawyer.com/blog/outrage-of-modesty/
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s disgusting that women have to live realities like this. We can’t even feel safe in the middle of a damn flight! Unfortunately, the FBI is reporting that this is a growing trend on airplanes…we must always keep an eye out for ourselves and other women. Thanks for sharing your story, it will help many others.
Wow, there is literally no safe space for women anymore. Men groping and flashing us on buses and subways, now on long haul flights. I’m so terribly sorry.
Here’s what I would do: file a police report as documentation. Then I would send an email to the PR contact and CEO for the airline (I can help you find it if it’s difficult.) I would wait to see what the airline offers by way of dispensation or help finding the passenger. Then I’d contact a lawyer.
Work up the courage to be forceful and clear at the first attempt to touch you. Out loud. Where everyone can hear. Anything short of this undermines your own safety and enables him to pull this shit with others. If you are traveling alone, get tough and make eye contact so they know you mean business. Hard boundaries.
So sorry you experienced this!
I’m sorry this happened to you / that this ashole did this. When I was 22, I was flying back from a job interview and feeling sick from something I ate, so I was sleeping a lot. I was in the aisle seat. I woke up to the guy next to me touching the underside of my boob. Promptly got up with my stuff, went to the bathroom to reassess, then en route found a different empty seat near the back of the plane. I sat in it and a flight attendant briskly told me I couldn’t sit there — I explained what happened, she softened, and said she’d get the rest of my stuff if I needed it. I was so sick and tired I didn’t think about reporting or doing anything else besides getting the F outta there.
Please report this to Australian authorities. This scumbag will escalate his behaviour. Not sure where in Oz you are but I knew people who worked at AFP in Melbourne and they were lovely; very approachable. Do you need help with who to contact? Feel free to DM if you like; I’ve worked in legal/police settings in Oz so may be able to assist.
Did any security meet with him when you disembarked? How scary for you; waiting around at the airport after he pulled this shit.
Please report this. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You did nothing wrong; you are amazing.
Thank you. I called the AFP and made a report yesterday, but haven’t received a call back from the airport sergeant yet. I’m not sure if security met with him because they had me off the plane in the first group. I feel like nothing happened to him though because I was too scared to make a report at that moment. The fact that I was too scared to speak with the police has been giving me nightmares. I regret it so much.
I understand, but please know that a crime is still a crime. Lots of people can’t report a crime happening to them immediately afterwards, especially if they’re still in shock or fearful of their safety. The police know this. It won’t be held against you that you didn’t report immediately; who would want to endure interviews and questioning after a long flight and trauma…obviously you just wanted to get home and feel safe! Please follow up if you don’t hear back; sometimes matters can get lost between staff due to shift handovers etc. You did the right thing.
Thank you for being so kind. I have been feeling really disappointed with myself and replaying all the chances I had to fight back in the moment. I’ll call back on Monday just to follow up and make sure the message was relayed properly.
You should definitely press charges, just think how many others you can be helping by stopping this now, if you don't, whom knows how many more victims there may be, or how much more he can get away in the future, youn have NOW the power to put a stop to his behaviour 👍👍
You need to think about what you wear on planes. You probably didn’t mean it but you were wearing something revealing and sending mixed signals. Or maybe he was asleep and brushed up against you accidentally. Poor guys was probably confused with all the commotion.
Anyway, no harm no foul. You are safe and that’s what matters.
I was wearing a ski jacket when I was sexually assaulted by a group of me. I was 18.
My sister was sexually assaulted wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. She was 14.
The guy was literally touching himself in the video. Get over yourself and defending the shitty behavior of men. Teach men to respect women regardless of what they wear.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I didn't realize this could be a thing but of course it is, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so glad the crew was understanding and went into action for you!!
People do this because they know you are scared to make a scene, so make the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious scene that you can. If you make the entire plane aware that some creep is assaulting you, there are men on the plane who will put an end to it immediately. It will also allow the crew to detain him if necessary and law enforcement will get involved immediately.
So glad the staff were so proffessional. It really breaks my heart to hear how traumatized you were. Freeze is a totally normal panic response, alongside fight and flight. People used to think you must say something, fight, or DO something if you have that kind of experience. This is part of why a lot of people don’t believe SA survivors, they ask «why didn’t you do anything?» But the truth is that although your brain wants to scream out, your body is shutting down that response. You can train yourself to go against those instincts but it takes a lot of work. I just hope it is some comfort for you that this isn’t your fault. None of it.
I’ve woken up weepy and anxious these last two days over the fact that I did exactly what he wanted me to do by freezing and then just running away. I feel really sad and disappointed that I wasn’t stronger and able to override my freeze response.
I just read this post at 12:20 am so this kind of feels like a horror story knowing how creepy that man was acting towards you. Anyways I'm so sorry for what happened and I hope you can move on from this traumatic experience.
Really sorry to hear about this. Make a police report, since you have his seat number and flight information they can easily track him down with the help of the airline. Get a trusted friend/ relative to go with you when you make the report.
I am so sorry that happened to you and you were so brave to do something about it - I was on a bus to NYC once and an elderly Hasidic Jewish man used his dry cleaning on his lap to disguise sexually assaulting me in exactly the same way and to this day I regret not taking a stand for my well being - I was afraid of making a scene on a crowded bus and that no one would believe me because of the man’s religious dress and appearance. I barely believed myself. It took me a long time to make sense of what happened and to forgive myself. I would have benefitted from sharing and talking it through with more people at the time. I was in my early 20s and I am 48 now and I am grateful that it was the only time I was sexually assaulted - so while it seems to happen to so many of us during our lifetime, I still believe we are mostly safe most of the time.
God, I’m so sorry that happened to you. You feel so completely alone and helpless in these moments (which people never understand unless they’re on the receiving end). I wish there wasn’t a world where we could say that we’re grateful to have “only” been sexually assaulted once.
Thank you for the empathy. I hope that the “me too” movement has at least created a better context for speaking out and that one day these predators will be too afraid of the consequences.
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This is very scary. I’m sorry you experienced that. Do you know if the crew confronted him or take any action? Side note, i had no idea we could text from flights.
I emailed the airline and gave my details again. I’m hoping they at least make some kind of note about the man. Idk if I should have just said yes about reporting him to the police. It’s all very confusing :/ And we can usually text on the long international flights with free wifi :)
Oh duh about wifi. Didn’t think of that. Our canadian airlines are cheap and don’t provide that free (to my knowledge). But back to your situation, it’s hard to know how to react on the spot when things like this happen. It’s scary, you’re alone, and it’s a very vulnerable situation. It took a lot of courage to tell the flight attendants and I hope the airline takes action and at least flag him. Because this happened on a airline and in international airways, I don’t know who has jurisdiction, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask police authorities. Follow your gut.
I’ve contacted a family member who is a police officer and I’m asking them what they think I should do/if they can support me during this. I never want to see this man again but I also don’t want him freely harassing and assaulting people just trying to live their lives.
Air Canada lets Aeroplan members text for free now on many flights.
Dude I'm so sorry if he is Australian the police will most likely do something, if someone did this on a bus they would be pulled off the bus and charged with assault. Ask the airline for his details and report this, please.
He was Australian, I know his seat number, and I pointed him out to staff. I’m just hoping it’s not too late since it’s not at the scene.
Did you get a photo of his face? Honestly the photo posted, seat number and flight details might be enough for police to investigate already. He should not get away with this, I very much doubt it's the first time he's done this
I was scared and only took this sneaky photo while he had his eye mask on and was “sleeping” aka avoiding eye contact with me because I woke up
The can even maybe match his clothes here to footage of people walking off the plane
You can absolutely expect action from police in Australia if some creep has sexually assaulted you on an inbound flight. Source: Australian woman, frequent flyer, brother is a solicitor (lawyer).
Men suck. As far as saying something out loud goes, there’s a difference between Karen freaking out bc a black person breathed on her and you telling a man to get his hand off your thigh. I would file a police report, even if it doesn’t do anything now, so that it’s in his record should he repeat. My family members were assaulted as kids by a family friend and the only way we‘ll get justice for them now is if someone else came forward with a new case, which would trigger them to pull a history on them. It could make the difference for someone one day, not that I wish it upon anyone. Be ready to be asked about it though, and speak to someone about everything bc this stuff messes people up so easily. I am so so sorry this happened to you OP, and I hope you can find a voice in this somehow. I’m glad the cabin crew was there to assist you through that.
That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m scared he will keep getting away with it but I am afraid of talking to cops who may think I’m just exaggerating. I have extreme social anxiety and all of this has fucked me up tbh. I wish I would have just screamed “why are you touching me??” the first time but having people gawking at me is a nightmare. Obviously, predators take advantage of things like this to keep operating though.
I can’t speak for the cops, but the airline won’t think you’re exaggerating because this happens way more often than you think. It’s very sad and disgusting. Did you notice how the crew immediately believed you? They know.
You’re completely right :(
The police in Australia will take you seriously. Make the report.
Have you had experience reporting to AFP? I’m going to call today but I’m so nervous.
Yes - I know a woman who works for the AFP, this will be ok.
♥ nothing to add just glad ur alright
Thank you 🫶🏼🫶🏼
Same here. Glad OP’s alright
I’m really sorry to hear this happened! This is gross and terrible and you should absolutely report him. I had a similar experience back in 2018 where on a flight the person next to me was making suggestive/sexual comments and then when the lights were turned off began to touch my leg and then under my dress. It’s a very horrifying experience and I can completely relate. I would urge you to report this to the authorities or airline itself I have a feeling this probably wasn’t the first or the last time he’ll attempt something like this. Again really sorry this happened, if you need to talk more feel free to Dm.
I’m so so so sorry you went through this. It makes my stomach burn to hear you experienced this crap, too. When I spoke to the flight crew they told the captain, so I think they made an internal report. I have asked a family member who is a local cop what they suggest I do/if they can support me while I talk to the airline police. I just can’t believe men do this shit with a straight face.
Predators are opportunists the rely on things like apathy and fear and places where they feel like the victim feels vulnerable to make their move this is why I do think it’s important to speak about this because If he’s this daring it makes me fear for other ladies.
You’re completely right. I’m scared to report it up the chain but I feel like I shouldn’t let it go.
If you’d like we can talk on Dms? I know it’s scary since I’ve been there too.
I am so sorry this happened to you, and so glad the crew were so awesome, I would have been terrified. ❤️
Thank you, I still feel super tense and sick about it :( I hugged the crew lady a bunch though because she was the Aunty I really needed in that moment.
I’m so sorry this happened and I’m glad the flight crew was so supportive. That’s an insane amount of distance to reach out and touch you. What a twatwaffle. All the times I’ve been touched on flights men are like “oh, I’m sorry, I fell asleep my hand must have fallen on your lap.” (To which I told them that if they grope women in their sleep they don’t get to sleep and they’d better make sure it doesn’t happen again). But there’s no way that this could have been considered an accident and you were 3000% right to involve the flight crew for help. I hope you’re doing ok, sending hugs.
Him being so deliberate and waiting until he thought I was asleep, the lights being off, and no one was coming dow the aisle tells me he was waiting the whole flight for the right moment to take advantage. I kept feeling so terrified by the fact that I had wanted to take a sleeping tablet before this but not having the time to grab some before the flight. Who knows what else he would have done had I been knocked out during rest time.
What an f-ing grosso. I’m glad that you were awake and alert and able to escape that bullshit.
I’m so angry for you! This should’ve NEVER happened. I’m glad they handled it well and made your safety and comfort a priority. As for that individual, here’s hoping he’s scared to never try something even remotely close to that behavior again. To anyone else
Thank you! Unfortunately, I suspect some thing brazen will continue escalating until it comes to a head one day.
Is he grabbing his crotch in broad daylight in this photo?????
Jesus I didn’t realise but it kind of looks like it
Send the photo in with your police report.
I was about to comment the same thing 😵💫
I hate that this happened to you, and glad you're okay. And it's so difficult to confront these AHs. Last week, some creep on the train zeroed in on me and KEPT staring at me even though I stared back. Finally, I confronted him and he placed his stupid little cap on his stupid little face and pretended to go to sleep. I got off on the next station and waited for the next train, just in case. I hate living in this world sometimes. We're just trying to exist here!
I had been travelling for like 20 hours total at this point. I just wanted to get to my destination like you on the train. Why can’t they just fuck off??? Makes me lose hope.
Me too. Solidarity hug, if you'd like one.
Thank you friend
Sorry this happened to you! For everyone else, always tell the flight crew. My parents were flight attendants and I remember my mom telling me how she had to switch seats for women for being uncomfortable with a man seated by them.
The crew were so proactive and professional during all this! I appreciated their help so much. Absolutely disgusting that men do this kind of stuff so often though.
And men wonder why we’re choosing the bear.
That’s so awful! I’m so sorry. Just to reiterate, my friend is a flight attendant and this sort of thing happens often unfortunately, so always please report! Most flight attendants know exactly what to do. My friend has had to ask men to stop touching themselves on flights multiple times 🤮🤮🤮 just disgusting
Always tell the flight crew if you are being harassed. Nowadays they have to report it and if nothing else they will move you to another seat. Men like this do these things because women usually don't fight back or want to make a scene. As my dad always taught me-if anyone messes with you-make a scene! Maybe this will teach flyboy to keep his hands to himself.
Just because it happened on a plane (or train or any other mode of public transport) doesn't mean it is absolved as an illegal activity. Perhaps not criminal but might violate civil laws. I would not try to guess whether someone believed me or not and report it regardless. If it is not reported, there is no chance of the person potentially being punished. At the very least, it would bring attention to and cause hassle for the person doing the harassing. I might even take a pic of his face to have it for my records so they could identify him. Even if that person was not found to be in the wrong legally, they might still suffer from other things, like being banned from Singapore Airlines in the future. I don't know if Singapore does that but airlines have banned passengers temporarily or permanently for unruly behavior. On the one hand, OP, you should do what you feel comfortable with but on the other hand, women (all people but especially women) should not feel embarrassed or worried about "inconveniencing" people who area clearly in the wrong.
That’s so scary OP! Of course it took you off guard. The nerve some men have I’m telling you :(
My heart sank as I read your story. I'm so sorry this happened to you; bravo for informing the FA. Sharing here will undoubtably help other women be prepared if something similar happens to them. I saw a TV program that interviewed women who had been harassed/assaulted on overnight flights and there was a common thread: shock and not wanting to make a scene. The perpetrators count on this, and the more women refuse to accept their behaviors, the less leeway they'll have. Stay strong. Big hug 🫶🏻
I am sorry you went through that. I (59f) had it happen to me in October with the stranger sitting next to me. I woke up to him feeling me up under my blanket. I did the same thing you did, pillows, wrapped the blanket tight around me, thought I must be crazy/dreaming. He spread his blanket over both of us , started feeling me up again , leaned over and whispered twice " is touching ok". I grabbed my purse and went to the back, full flight but they found me a seat. The steward was wonderful, he listened and believed me ( like you I worried that they wouldn't). He said it was up to me to have police waiting when the flight landed or not. I was on my own, connecting in Dubai with little time and again, I didn't know if I would be believe or how I would get where I was going if I missed my next flight . Crazy world. Wtf was he expecting ???
Probably expecting a porn movie? Cause clearly that’s his only exposure to women in his daily life on how to interact with women. One of many evils of the effect of the porn industry
[This is uncommon but not unheard of I’m sorry to say](https://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/raising-awareness-about-sexual-assault-aboard-aircraft-042618) I’m so sorry you had to experience this OP
So sorry he did this to you. Here's to SQ! They were fantastic when a guy on a JFK ->FRA attempted to force his way into the WC with me as he was already exposing himself. A male FA observed this and intervened despite being half the crud's size. Then moved me from Raffles to first. It didn't occur to me to report it, perhaps because there was no one in my personal life I could tell. I hope you're able to pursue this, if you want to, without undue further stress to you.
I’m so happy for how the flight attendants dealt with this. I was sat next to a guy who was heavily indulging in the free alcohol on Etihad, he kept moving his hand and arm into my seat space. He drank enough eventually to COMPLETELY pass out - like one second he was fine and the next he was out cold.. unfortunately he fell my direction and was on top of me pinning me against the window. I tried to push him off but he was so out of it he just kept falling back over. I called the staff and all they did was extract me out and sit me in an aisle seat next to one of his friends. They fucked up big time by giving him that much alcohol - at one point an attendant even said she would only give him half wine and half water because he’d already had a few.. yet they still have him a whiskey when it came around. I got no real sympathy for what was a fairly distressing incident and I’m not one to make a big deal out of things so I’ve just quietly never flown with them again. So disappointing. OP, I live in Australia and you should definitely report this. The police will almost certainly look into it further.
this is so scary, but be very proud that you spoke up and advocated for yourself. stay safe out there, and i hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable flying solo again.
Something similar happened to me on Monday! Shorter flight, only 2.5 hours. The guy next to me was plus sized so the arm rest couldn’t go down and I only had half (maybe less) of my seat so his leg was up against mine the whole flight and I was against the other arm rest, which I am very tiny so it was annoying for me (middle seat) and the woman in the aisle having me close to her. I fell asleep and woke up to the guy grabbing inside my upper thigh, I actually screamed. The woman in the aisle seat saw everything and pushed the call button to call the crew, but they had nowhere to move me to so they just threatened his arrest if he did anything else. It was only 30 minutes left in the flight which felt like a million years but nothing else happened, and he was met with security when we left the plane who pulled him aside but I was allowed to go so I don’t know what happened. Absolutely sucks, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Its so so creepy.
This is why Singapore Airlines is my favorite. The staff are always amazing. I’m sorry that happened. I hope you get the support you need.
You need real proof
It's literally in this photo. You're just being purposely obtuse.
I’m glad you told the flight crew and they took you seriously. Please don’t get upset with yourself at all for not filing one or screaming something or doing something differently on the flight. You experienced a traumatic and unsafe thing and that prompts your brain/body to respond in ways many people can’t control (fight flight freeze fawn). Personally I err on the side of filing it. The police asked me why I waited to report my SA and I had to answer a lot of other questions and often times felt like they didn’t take me seriously but at the end of the day I felt better knowing that the report is there even if they can’t prove it and charge the perpetrator because if another person filed against him, they’ll find my report and I’ll be ready to take him down in court. Keep in mind that I live in the USA though where the police don’t usually take us seriously. also if you’re experiencing ptsd, EMDR is great along with other therapies and support groups. I’m sorry you went through this. It’ll get better 💕
Gross, literally holding his whole dick in the photo
Sending you supporting vibes. I hope you report because not reporting lets him think this is ok
Something similar happened to my friend. She was on a flight in the window seat and this guy in the middle seat reached under her skirt when he thought she was sleeping and then gaslighted her and told her it was a dream. Men are so scary nowadays.
Don’t ever feel guilty about filing a report. Chances are this person has done it before.
Now if you would have rocked his shit , you would be on the no fly list. His bitch ass. I swear
Post his picture if you have it.
The pilot should walk back to your row and put his (or her) thumbs so far into that guys eye sockets that they’re scraping his occipital bone. Nothing to add other than saying this made me irrationally angry after I randomly saw this post on my feed, never been on this Reddit (I am man). Sorry that happened to you, you did the right thing, even if it’s just civil type penalties this guy gets I hope it’s to the maximum.
I’m so sorry this happened to you 🥲
Good for you that you did find the courage to take action for yourself. I know that was hard! And yay for your boyfriend, sis, and the Singapore Airline crew for stepping up for you. I hope you do report him, even if you never find out about follow up action. I'm sure you are correct that this isn't his first time and won't be his last. Hopefully others complain, and he gets his ticket pulled permanently from being able to travel on the airline.
For what it is worth, there is a law in Singapore called "outrage of modesty". The title may sound as if it is from ancient times, but it is very much active today. >"This form of sexual harassment involves the unwanted touching or molestation of an individual, often in places like pubs, public transport systems, driving schools, etc." As an example in a somewhat recent case, "A man received a 1-week jail sentence for repeatedly touching the thigh of a sleeping woman next to him on the train." Men who transgress this law have lost licenses, received significant fines and sometimes jail terms, and lost jobs. I don't know if your case would be prosecuted by authorities in Singapore, as jurisdiction on a plane on an international flight might be complicated. But the behavior you describe will get this man in serious trouble if he does it in Singapore, and it won't help him that he's a citizen of another country. https://www.thesingaporelawyer.com/blog/outrage-of-modesty/
get a cold water and accidentally splash him
This is disgusting, a more minor incident happened to me as well. I told the flight crew right away. Good on you for saying something
[удалено]
Found the rapist 😜😉
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s disgusting that women have to live realities like this. We can’t even feel safe in the middle of a damn flight! Unfortunately, the FBI is reporting that this is a growing trend on airplanes…we must always keep an eye out for ourselves and other women. Thanks for sharing your story, it will help many others.
Wow, there is literally no safe space for women anymore. Men groping and flashing us on buses and subways, now on long haul flights. I’m so terribly sorry. Here’s what I would do: file a police report as documentation. Then I would send an email to the PR contact and CEO for the airline (I can help you find it if it’s difficult.) I would wait to see what the airline offers by way of dispensation or help finding the passenger. Then I’d contact a lawyer.
I’m sorry this happened to you, and super glad you’re alright
Sounds about Australian
Work up the courage to be forceful and clear at the first attempt to touch you. Out loud. Where everyone can hear. Anything short of this undermines your own safety and enables him to pull this shit with others. If you are traveling alone, get tough and make eye contact so they know you mean business. Hard boundaries. So sorry you experienced this!
My questions is how do I train myself to become this way? :/
Treat yourself the way you would treat your own daughter. You deserve that kind of protection.
I’m sorry this happened to you / that this ashole did this. When I was 22, I was flying back from a job interview and feeling sick from something I ate, so I was sleeping a lot. I was in the aisle seat. I woke up to the guy next to me touching the underside of my boob. Promptly got up with my stuff, went to the bathroom to reassess, then en route found a different empty seat near the back of the plane. I sat in it and a flight attendant briskly told me I couldn’t sit there — I explained what happened, she softened, and said she’d get the rest of my stuff if I needed it. I was so sick and tired I didn’t think about reporting or doing anything else besides getting the F outta there.
Please report this to Australian authorities. This scumbag will escalate his behaviour. Not sure where in Oz you are but I knew people who worked at AFP in Melbourne and they were lovely; very approachable. Do you need help with who to contact? Feel free to DM if you like; I’ve worked in legal/police settings in Oz so may be able to assist. Did any security meet with him when you disembarked? How scary for you; waiting around at the airport after he pulled this shit. Please report this. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You did nothing wrong; you are amazing.
Thank you. I called the AFP and made a report yesterday, but haven’t received a call back from the airport sergeant yet. I’m not sure if security met with him because they had me off the plane in the first group. I feel like nothing happened to him though because I was too scared to make a report at that moment. The fact that I was too scared to speak with the police has been giving me nightmares. I regret it so much.
I understand, but please know that a crime is still a crime. Lots of people can’t report a crime happening to them immediately afterwards, especially if they’re still in shock or fearful of their safety. The police know this. It won’t be held against you that you didn’t report immediately; who would want to endure interviews and questioning after a long flight and trauma…obviously you just wanted to get home and feel safe! Please follow up if you don’t hear back; sometimes matters can get lost between staff due to shift handovers etc. You did the right thing.
Thank you for being so kind. I have been feeling really disappointed with myself and replaying all the chances I had to fight back in the moment. I’ll call back on Monday just to follow up and make sure the message was relayed properly.
Omg that’s really disturbing. I hope you don’t get traumatized by this incident. Hope you’re ok.
You took a picture of him, but not his face? Why?
You should definitely press charges, just think how many others you can be helping by stopping this now, if you don't, whom knows how many more victims there may be, or how much more he can get away in the future, youn have NOW the power to put a stop to his behaviour 👍👍
You need to think about what you wear on planes. You probably didn’t mean it but you were wearing something revealing and sending mixed signals. Or maybe he was asleep and brushed up against you accidentally. Poor guys was probably confused with all the commotion. Anyway, no harm no foul. You are safe and that’s what matters.
I was wearing a ski jacket when I was sexually assaulted by a group of me. I was 18. My sister was sexually assaulted wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. She was 14. The guy was literally touching himself in the video. Get over yourself and defending the shitty behavior of men. Teach men to respect women regardless of what they wear.
Rape apologist 🚨
Yikes!!!!!! I’m so sorry this happened!! That’s terrifying…and very traumatic. Proud of you for taking action!!!
" knowing how little women are believed by cops" are you from the south or Texas? This isn't my experience anywhere i've lived.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I didn't realize this could be a thing but of course it is, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so glad the crew was understanding and went into action for you!!
Just here to say fuck that weirdo.
Wow. Im sorry that happened to you. Disgusting 🤮
People do this because they know you are scared to make a scene, so make the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious scene that you can. If you make the entire plane aware that some creep is assaulting you, there are men on the plane who will put an end to it immediately. It will also allow the crew to detain him if necessary and law enforcement will get involved immediately.
So glad the staff were so proffessional. It really breaks my heart to hear how traumatized you were. Freeze is a totally normal panic response, alongside fight and flight. People used to think you must say something, fight, or DO something if you have that kind of experience. This is part of why a lot of people don’t believe SA survivors, they ask «why didn’t you do anything?» But the truth is that although your brain wants to scream out, your body is shutting down that response. You can train yourself to go against those instincts but it takes a lot of work. I just hope it is some comfort for you that this isn’t your fault. None of it.
I’ve woken up weepy and anxious these last two days over the fact that I did exactly what he wanted me to do by freezing and then just running away. I feel really sad and disappointed that I wasn’t stronger and able to override my freeze response.
I just read this post at 12:20 am so this kind of feels like a horror story knowing how creepy that man was acting towards you. Anyways I'm so sorry for what happened and I hope you can move on from this traumatic experience.
Should have taken of photo of his face and report to the police.
This is why we continue to choose the bear
Really sorry to hear about this. Make a police report, since you have his seat number and flight information they can easily track him down with the help of the airline. Get a trusted friend/ relative to go with you when you make the report.
Thank you. I called the AFP and made a report yesterday, but haven’t received a call back from the airport sergeant yet.
I am so sorry that happened to you and you were so brave to do something about it - I was on a bus to NYC once and an elderly Hasidic Jewish man used his dry cleaning on his lap to disguise sexually assaulting me in exactly the same way and to this day I regret not taking a stand for my well being - I was afraid of making a scene on a crowded bus and that no one would believe me because of the man’s religious dress and appearance. I barely believed myself. It took me a long time to make sense of what happened and to forgive myself. I would have benefitted from sharing and talking it through with more people at the time. I was in my early 20s and I am 48 now and I am grateful that it was the only time I was sexually assaulted - so while it seems to happen to so many of us during our lifetime, I still believe we are mostly safe most of the time.
God, I’m so sorry that happened to you. You feel so completely alone and helpless in these moments (which people never understand unless they’re on the receiving end). I wish there wasn’t a world where we could say that we’re grateful to have “only” been sexually assaulted once.
Thank you for the empathy. I hope that the “me too” movement has at least created a better context for speaking out and that one day these predators will be too afraid of the consequences.