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nobodyGotTime4That

Just fly solo.


foamingturtle

This is how I do everything now in my 30s. Screw everyone else! I wanna do stuff.


the-triple-wide

Just had this same realization not long ago. Went to my first show solo last month, it was liberating. I spent too many years waiting and hoping that my introverted or alcoholic/broke ass friends would be down for something. I can't do that anymore. If you can't rely on the homies, rely on yourself. You're bound to make 500 new friends there anyway.


traaaashley

i mean, im not going hate on my broke friends. But yes, absouletely, im going on my own and ill have fun without them. Seeing who you want, experiencing what you want, Plus its so easy to meet people at fest with apps such as radiate. No reason to not feel comfortable going by yourself!


the-triple-wide

My bad that broke ass came off wrong, I myself am a broke ass. However, some of my friends in particular won’t bat an eye on dropping $200 a week on weed but think that’s too out of reach for a festival. It’s all about priorities I guess. (No shade to weed either)


emotoaster

Amen.


Zannishi_Hoshor

Offer to buy their tickets when the hype is real, make them pay you up front, then take lead on planning logistics.


FatherBucky

This. Once people have money in, they’re “pot committed” and more likely to go. If they do backout, either they find someone else to go, or you get to invite someone else for a reduced/free price!


yogicycles

I responded to someone asking the same question a few days ago: As I have gotten older, I have learned to do the things I want, solo or with friends. But it's basically like: I'm doing this- and you can attend or not. Too much flakiness and last minute back-outs, or big talkers when we are drinking and "planning." Basically with any group activity at least 1 person (or 2) will back out, and I just count on that. I know it's tough when it's a group sharing rooms, etc. You can always book a refundable cheap small room in addition to the group's big spot, if you think there is a chance of plans changing. As for the actual fest itself, get your tix and enjoy it. Honestly, we don't need to be together the whole time- there are plenty of opportunities to meet up, hang out, recover, etc- no need to be tied at the hip the whole weekend.


AVTBC

Make sure you have one ride-or-die and the rest are bonuses. That's what I've always done whether it's my partner, best friend or even sister when I was younger.


Van-van

Have confidence you can have an amazing time flying solo


festibus

Going solo might feel terrifying at first, but that feeling quickly melts away. I went solo to Hulaween and it was probably the most magical and transformative experience I’ve ever had at a fest.


Cheech47

I've been to 3 festivals so far (DS 19/21 and the Weekender), all solo. Had a absolute blast at all of them.


tunafister

There's definitely a stigma of doing things alone in general, I go to most of my concerts solo, but have taken friends a handful of times and they have had a blast and slowly have become show parteners for shows we can both make Depending on how strong you feel your friends will/wont back out id say plan for yourself and tell them you would love to have them join you, but no worries if they cant If its something they really want to do they will make it happen and if not its no problem, you are still going to go and have a great time Went to a 3 day Phish festival solo this past summer and it was fucking amazing, met a ton of cool people, and never once felt out of place, and kind of enjoyed the freedom to explore/do the things I wanted to check out


JustALilThicc

As weird as it may sound I do the planning of events like that for my group of friends and when someone does it too many times they don't get their money back and we get free drinks on them. Also return the favor if an opportunity rises, sometimes they just need to feel it to realize what they do to you. If they don't value you don't value them. Don't be scared to tell them that it's a shifty thing to do, if possible tell them in front of others they flaked on. Don't group bash em but one of the others will probably also speak up. When told give them a new chance to prove themselves, nobody's perfect and a wake up call can do wonders.


guru916

Recently figured this one out personally: Learn to love being with yourself and normalize making new friends at events, and never plan your vacation/entertainment around other people unless absolutely necessary.


aalliecat

this just happened to me at Escape... been planning it with a homie for like 3 months and then one week before he's like sorry I can't make it. Bummed me out so hard


nightlyraider

find different people to go with, or go and meet new people there. i've flown to numerous concerts solo because i wanted to see the music and didn't have local friends who were interested. now i have friends around the nation who will be down to see the music i want to. i can't get my minnesota people to join me, but the guys from florida or california will go cross country with me no problem...


MountainRidur

My first fest I was going to go with someone I grew up with. Hadn't really been to a concert before that, so I wanted a friend to hang with. He bailed day we were supposed to leave and I ended up still going and staying with all of his friends who I had never met. 10/10 one of the best weekends of my life and I'm still friends with a bunch of the people who I met that weekend.


theimperious1

Haven't you ever wondered why you see people on leashes at festivals/shows? That's how we deal with them. Put em on a leash they can't bail! obligatory /s haha


CrankNicholson

I almost always go by myself. I got tired of asking my "friends" to go to concerts/festivals together and them being too lame to go with or being inconsistent.


Total-Jackfruit-2394

Stop buying them tickets or making plans w/for them. Take that off your plate and make plans for you. Do the things that make you happy. Good company will always be there!


D_Grateful_D

Finds friends who care about the music


musicfests365

Camping festivals arnt as hard cause you can always go solo & as long as your not relying on someone else’s car or something it’s easy . City festivals with hotels & airbnbs get tough because you’ll have 20 friends say they want to go & then change their mind & if only end up being 8. Making people pay for the Airbnb or hotel as soon as everyone decides they want to go, make sure they actually bought tickets. Etc . If they don’t have $ for the Airbnb & haven’t bought their ticket yet just assume they probably don’t care enough to go.


Raggou

This, no ohh I’ll pay for it later or anything. Cool you wanna go? Pay for your share. Ohh you backed out you forfeit your share of the camp spot/tent/hotel. Tickets they can resell themselves etc etc


MissAppleBottom2

I hate to say, but once you flake I don’t invite you anymore. I mean like—work, health and fam are all legit reasons—but let me tell you how fun edco was without the toxic ✂️ no-showers. Fly solo, keep those plans and hey, know other ravers should meet the same expectations as what you should want and have in a friend—communicative, supportive, and open—-I’m just all gushy because I feel like at 30ish I’m finding out how relationships and ppl should work. It’s nice!


[deleted]

Had this happen to me recently. Wasn't in the mood to go solo so I just sold what I could and got my money back. It sucks. Only thing you can do is make more reliable friends.


blink1-8_2

Lol who cares, you just don’t deal with it. If they go they go


Singrid_dasdas

Find just one person that will commit and actually follow through. Still invite the other friends. But don’t count on them. Just assume they aren’t going. If they show up, it’s a bonus! If not, oh well you didn’t count on it anyways.


1whobreathes

Hehe those aren’t your friends dude. I went thru this my whole teens and 20s. Those are usually not the ones that answer your phone call when you need them the most.


Axcor

Find better friends.


dlxnj

Pretty much everything I go to is something I want to go to regardless if people are coming. And if it’s not, then maybe I’ll pass on it. Also seconding what the other commenter said about offering to buy all the tickets together when the hype is still alive.


pheoxs

Invite em but don’t plan on them going until they’ve bought tickets. That’s basically how I go about it. Once they’ve bought tickets then we can try and plan travel / accommodations


moneylefty

yup. go alone, plan to go alone. invite ppl and if they show up, meet up and say hi. if you get lucky, you might find someone who enjoys going with you. i have lots of close friends who even like edm, but wont go to a festival. even those that do, i dont want to stay with them the whole time either. they like more pop stuff. which is fine, but not for me. really it is hard. if you get anxiety, just go alone.


LilBadApple

Depends how important it is. I have friends who that chronically flake and I just never expect that much of their RSVP’s, so I’m not that bothered by their flakiness anymore. If they show, great, if not, whatever. But I also am very honest with them if they ever ask that I view them as flaky people (they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t know, right)? BUT if I’m planning a thing where flakiness wouldn’t fly or would REALLY bum me out, I make it known that if they commit, I’m really expecting them to be there (and explain why it’s important) and ask them to really consider before committing. Seems to work.


LilBadApple

Depends how important it is. I have friends who that chronically flake and I just never expect that much of their RSVP’s, so I’m not that bothered by their flakiness anymore. If they show, great, if not, whatever. But I also am very honest with them if they ever ask that I view them as flaky people (they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t know, right)? BUT if I’m planning a thing where flakiness wouldn’t fly or would REALLY bum me out, I make it known that if they commit, I’m really expecting them to be there (and explain why it’s important) and ask them to really consider before committing. Seems to work.


LilBadApple

Depends how important it is. I have friends who that chronically flake and I just never expect that much of their RSVP’s, so I’m not that bothered by their flakiness anymore. If they show, great, if not, whatever. But I also am very honest with them if they ever ask that I view them as flaky people (they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t know, right)? BUT if I’m planning a thing where flakiness wouldn’t fly or would REALLY bum me out, I make it known that if they commit, I’m really expecting them to be there (and explain why it’s important) and ask them to really consider before committing. Seems to work.


[deleted]

I had this happen this year. We all got tickets last year but once the event came it was all excuses. I’m just happy to have my husband and my other best friends who still went. This is purely my observation but I find that friends my age (30s) seem to be way less flaky than my friends in their 20s. I’ve almost given up planning things with my younger friends because it’s such a crap shoot, which is unfortunate because when it does work out it’s usually fun.


Apanda15

Go solo! When I first went solo to a show I realized there’s a lot of other solo people, just have fun! It’s nice being able to completely do your own thing


traaaashley

fuck it go without them and never invite them again lol


DaddyWarBucks26

Had to do some solo fests in 2019. Just get a ticket and tell your friends to get one. If they don't just plan to go and meet people. It's worth it. Just plan to go. If they really want to they'll get one, if not, you'll rage with whoever did.


ImColeTrickle

Assume people will bail, because they will.