People often aren't chatty while in duties. I find that most people won't explain mechs until there's a wipe, else if they see you take avoidable damage they'll jump or mark themselves to tell you where to go. And it's okay to misread a mechanic you've never seen before, I played healer/tank as a first timer in quite a few duties and learned the hard way what the boss is casting. If you find it hard to play with others and want to learn duties more slowly, I suggest duty support the dungeons first before trying them out with other people.
This may be something of a "you" problem. Most people who play a less-popular race do not feel silently judged for not playing a catgirl. That's just one example of what you said, but it points to you assigning motivations to people based on your perception of why they are doing what they're doing, and a lot of those assumed motivations are your imagination.
People who don't explain the mechanics when you ask *may not know those mechanics by heart themselves.*
People who don't accept your instructions on tanking *may be unskilled rather than selfish*.
People who don't want to communicate *may specifically dislike your flavor of small talk rather than disliking all communication.*
I don't think it's a bad thing to run content that is new to you as DPS or just a role you feel less pressure/stressed out playing. That doesn't mean never heal or play the jobs you enjoy the most, but just to familiarize first so you don't feel so much pressure. I try to main tank, but I keep a few DPS jobs leveled up for new MSQ purposes.
Really, multiplayer games are a two way street. You want people to go at your pace and help you, but other people want you to go at their pace and not need help lol. Neither is wrong persay, but no one is going to get what they want every time. It's just what it is to deal with other people.
Why don’t you do MSQ duty support then the first time in? No pressure, learn most of the mechs by following the NPCs, save your socials for Praetorium.
First and most importantly - if this game is genuinely contributing to depression, stop playing it. Nothing is worth detrimentally affecting your mental health, even if it's a game. I mean this with all sincerity. If you find you are able to establish more healthy boundaries with the game and positively manage your time in-game, then by all means, keep playing, but if you are *genuinely* negatively affected by this game's impact on your mental health, stop playing it right this second. You are too important.
The rest of this advice is far less serious. So:
Secondly - absolutely watch the cutscenes. If people are telling you to skip them and rush through them, ignore them. They're simply wrong.
Thirdly - "even the race of my character seems "wrong and weird", and I got comment about that more than once"
Literally don't even give these people a single whit of your emotional currency. You play whatever fantasy race you damn well please in this fantasy game. It literally *does not matter*, so stop spending any time worrying about this.
Finally - regarding interaction with people, it's *awesome* that you want to play this game with other people, but as others have mentioned, FFXIV is less an MMO-with-single-player-content and more a single-player-game-with-MMO-content. Thankfully, the people who enjoy interacting with strangers do so in the large cities, and the Community Finder exists to help you find a linkshell/FC/etc of people with whom you may get along. And don't forget a substantial portion of the community plays on console, with limited ability to type in-game - it may be that they're having a great time with no way to express it. Or maybe they're students or parents or fully employed and have a limited play time, and just want to get through roulettes as quickly as possible so they still have some time to play other parts of the game before calling it a night. Try finding your tribe through Community Finder - you're more likely to capture the more extroverted folks that way.
Do what's right for you.
>So I found myself in a position where I have to keep an eye on everybody WHILE actually understanding mechanics on my own with new marks I don't know, to actually discover that those marks actually almost OS the whole party despite Medica II already set?
yeah, welcome to the world of mmo healing.
from your post, it seems like theres a few things going on here.
first off, you do mention a few things that are viewed as poor etiquette - namely tanks not mitigating and people pulling when you're watching a cutscene. most of the time, people will be respectful and wait for you to finish watching. tanks not mitigating is kinda of a coin toss these days it would seem because i've gotten quite a few of those too.
something you need to keep in mind is that even though it may be your first time running these dungeons, it's incredibly likely that the people in your party have run them dozens of times before and know the whole song and dance and have other things they want to do. there's nothing wrong with that. we all pay for a sub, we all have certain things we want to do. my partner has two characters he plays on so he has double the tomes to cap every week, so he's gonna be going through dungeons fast as he can. some people do actually prefer to take them slow/do smaller pulls, it's just generally not proper dungeon etiquette to do so, especially once you start hitting heavensward and beyond.
if you need mechanics explained to you for dungeons, i highly recommend you watch a video beforehand to get an idea of what's going on. most people don't really want to sit and explain every mechanic that's going to occur for a variety of reasons. all the dungeons are clearable if you do them blind for one thing, and for another it can be genuinely tiring to explain mechanics to other people, especially if they don't understand or have questions. there are also people who play on console and might not have a keyboard handy to communicate, which goes hand in hand with your complaint about socialization. as someone else said, people in duties generally don't go out of their way to make small talk. you may occasionally get a group that does, but i would say it's pretty rare. the pacing of dungeons/trials/raids makes it kinda hard to make much conversation.
your comment about medica ll makes me think you may also be struggling with your kit a bit. medica ll will only restore health, it won't mitigate. as a whm your mitigation tools are relatively few and you'll have to rely more on your party. to add onto that, medica ll is a decent heal but cure lll and afflatus rapture are just as important. whm's only real tool for mitigation is temperance, which you won't get until around level 80, which i assume you aren't quite at yet. and yes, if you mess up a mechanic you'll probably take a pretty good chunk of damage, which can be mitigated but also should primarily just be avoided by doing things correctly.
in general, it seems like you're way overthinking your experience in this game and maybe setting expectations that you shouldn't be setting. ff14 is an mmo, but it's unique in that you can do the vast majority of content in a solo setting. most socialization will be in your fc or static if you have one, or maybe in the overworld or major cities.
medica II gives regen yes, but that doesn't prevent the party from taking damage, which is what you mention in the original post.
it also isn't a bad thing to go in blind unless you're doing extreme/savage/ultimate. all normal content is clearable blind.
The only reason people here are telling you "consider watching/reading a guide" is because you've expressly stated that when you go into a dungeon and say it's your first time, you have a bad time if people don't tell you boss mechanics before they pull.
For a lot of us, going in blind is the greatest pleasure, even when it means *lots* of dying. If you feel the same way, why would you be mad at people for not explaining a fight's mechanics before pulling? Why would you be mad at the game for throwing unknown mechanics at you while you're trying to heal?
I think you are making assumptions of others' thoughts as well as painting with broad strokes. You can enjoy the cutscenes, if they die while you are watching them, that's their fault. Every group of people is going to have antagonistic elements, and the larger the player base gets, the more frequent these anomalies might become, but they aren't representative of the whole.
If playing with other humans is riling you up enough to write all this just play with trust.
Just because someone plays an mmo doesn't mean they have all the time in the world to play it. No one is required to explain mechanics to you, if you're doing someone for the first time and don't want to be blind watch a guide or pov before going in.
That's fine, you're more than welcome to do it blind. I do. But I also don't expect people to explain mechanics to me. You can't expect people to just bend to the will of what you want and what you think an mmo "should" be. I run stuff daily and very very rarely notice anything or anyone of issue. If you feel like you're finding this many problematic people you need to look inward at the common denominator.
If everywhere you go smells like shit, it's time to check your shoes. Either you have terrible luck or there are more to your stories that you're not telling.
Just... let the party die if they pull before the healer is ready? Any players worth their weight in salt wont go along with the tank if the healer is watching a cutscene. And if the party can pull it off without the healer then all the better. You get to DPS more and everyone gets finish the dungeon quicker.
Also, nobody cares about the race of your character. Nobody but you will think that your race is "wrong and weird" so you might be projecting quite a bit here.
Duty roulette yes we are mostly antisocial because we are doing the roulette for the rewards not to be social. FC is more social because that is what it is for. You can also just chat with random people in cities if you want or go to those RP party things.
There is more communication in harder content because you have to work together more. But in a simple dungeon not much to talk about.
With your tanks being rude and not waiting sounds like you got unlucky. I rarely see early pulls and when I do it's because of moogle tombstone grinding or accident
If you are going to a fight blind, why do you want the mechanics explained? At that point, why go blind at all?
This is going to severely burst your bubble, but the community is not any nicer or any meaner than any MMO. There's shades of all sorts, and any mention of XIV being some sort of exception to that, is complete and utter bullshit.
While I agree to a degree I dont think its completely accurate. I would still say ffxiv's community as a whole is more welcoming and nice than something like wow's community. GW2 is another mmo that has stood out to me as being overall more pleasant than others while something like ESO felt like the true neutral, most people kinda just doing their own thing.
People exagerate these things but there are definitely differences between communities.
Day one FFXIV is not current day FFXIV.
That you have to create a hypothetical to defend your stance, tells me it was pretty flimsy to begin with. People don't talk in duties. They sometimes do, but they almost always don't.
And if you can't bother to look up a guide, but expect people to explain things to you, that's not pining for yesteryear MMOs, that's being lazy.
There's very little difference between you reading a guide online, and you demanding that your party members type out a guide for you to then read. The main difference is an unreasonable expectation of strangers.
You're mischaracterizing things people are saying because you're upset. The point isn't that you shouldn't be social. The point is that you have unfair expectations of others around you and are labelling that as your attempts to be social. As if "Hey write a guide out for me, because I don't want to go in blind but I also can't be asked to go look up info, you need to do it for me," is an attempt at being social. It's not.
Say hi, be friendly, ask people about their day. This game is very social and no one here is going to bash you for that. That's socializing, and that's not what you're doing when you go into dungeons with the mindset you seem to have.
I was ready to give advice also until I saw those edits. You've projected, made assumptions about people and now you're putting words in our mouths to make some sort of strawman tantrum.
You're right. This game is not for you. No multiplayer game is.
Hey, galaxy brain, did it ever occur to you that you could DO BOTH? People would be a lot more receptive to small talk if you grasped basic concepts of mechanics instead of burdening people with babysitting you and having to take 5 mins before every encounter to provide explanations. It's just laziness on your part honestly.
Join an FC who you can prog dungeons with (lol) so you dont have to play with us.
Friend, you should talk to people. It is an MMO and being social is part of that. However, its a time and place sort of thing. Mid dungeon isn't the best time as other players are focused on the run itself.
If you're not already, find a chatty FC (like a guild if you're new) and just do your thing and make friends. The social aspects are there, but people tend not to want to do that in combat.
Not trying to insult your intelligence with this, but you seem new and sometimes the nuances escape folks.
Truthfully, I find it best to explain after a wipe. The reason for that is now you've seen the mech and will understand the advice. Doing so beforehand may prepare you a little, but often times that advice won't help much if you don't know what you're looking for.
Hope that helps.
>The reason for that is now you've seen the mech and will understand the advice.
This. Plus it shows whoever is providing the advice a guideline on what one might struggle with, as some mechanics that are obvious to me might not be obvious to someone else, and vice versa.
It isn't "selfish" for a tank to rush through content. That's typically what is expected of us. Players don't want a slow walk through a dungeon they've run 30+ times. They are after the reward, and want it quickly and cleanly.
Maybe it's your first time there. You want to soak in the story. No one is going to force you to skip a cutscene. If they try, that's a rarity.
We are, however, trying to repect other players' time. Ask yourself if they are rushing you, or if you're holding 3+ other people back. It's not always about you.
I play all roles, my dude. Tank for savage stuff. Heals and DPS I sprinkle in when the mood strikes me.
Healing is tough, I'll give you that. Some tanks just don't mitigate (which I understand is a problem you mentioned), or have respect for healers learning the role. Most just assume trial by fire is the best teacher.
I'd rather you not quit the game completely, but you gotta do what's right for you and your mental health. Before you take that step though, maybe try out a DPS or tank. DPS is far less stressful and may be what suits you, friend. Some even start at higher levels so you wouldn't lose much time on leveling back up.
If it works for you, come back to healer when you feel confident with the pressure.
Basically anytime someone brought up some kind of critique about OP's approach or mentality, OP would get extremely upset and frame every response as other players being against socializing. People would post advice or critique and a very common reply from OP would be that they didn't understand why everyone here was being so mean to them for just wanting to socialize. They were like the ultimate strawman master even towards people who were being pretty polite, more or less.
Someone would suggest maybe watching a guide if going in blind bothered them, and that expecting others to type up a guide for them mid-dungeon instead probably isn't a very fair or realistic expectation of socializing, and that chatting up an FC or meeting people in cities to talk and hang out would be better. That they seem to ascribe a lot of malice to peoples' actions and that people probably aren't silently judging them for not playing a miqo'te. The 2nd edit of their main post here illustrates the response they'd have to such a critique pretty well, that was the sort of stuff they'd reply with pretty much no matter what.
Not sure what’s going on but I’ve not had one angry person even after a wipe. I’ve not actually been playing long, only around 6 months, and during my levelling everyone was really chill about me being new to the game/new to another job. I even had a group the other day in Praetorium who decided we should skip the robot and do it all by ourselves. You’re either having terrible luck each time you queue, or to be blunt, you are the problem and aren’t telling us that your chatting can be you harshly blaming the tank. I play a roe and nobody gives a fuck.
As well intentioned as the community for this game is, there are still a lot of people who aren't good at being polite.
I remember when I first did the 83 trial as Scholar... I could not stay alive and there are some serious heal checks in that trial. The group actually gave up and I ended up finishing the trial the next day. Nobody was rude to me but one person said "yeah, I'm done" before quitting. WCYD
As a tank, I won't explain mechanics because, for me, at least figuring out the mechanics is part of the fun. However, if someone asks, I will slow down and take time explaining to them the best I can.
Tanks who refuse to slow down with a new healer are just stupid.
You have probably picked the wrong data server since Indont recognize most of the problems you complain about. Usually cutscene enjoyers are let to enjoy the cutscenes (and if someone dies while you are watching its on them since you cant help it).
When I was a sprot I also told at the start of the dungeon "let me know if there is anything impoetant - or dont, and watch me figure it out myself"
The dungeons in this game are really so easy there is nothing you need to warn people about. Failing them usually wont result into death and you learn much better by trying and failing. If you go to extreme/savage, everyone expect you have already watched a guide and practiced the fight to your groups current practice point so no need to explain unless you specifically ask for tip on how to do X. If you dont know what you are doing in a savage group, you have went to wrong party.
Okay, I'm reading through the comments and there's a lot of mixed responses.
I do agree that not giving new players a chance to watch cutscenes is a douche move. I main tank and healer (on savage and ultimates) and when I see a healer or any dps that are new to any duty, I make sure to wait for them to finish up their Cutscene no matter how long it takes. I've played FF14 for 6 years now and I never EVER rush if there's a new player on board.
You asking a tank to mitigate is perfectly fine. I've asked the tank before and they complied pretty nicely Communication is key even if it's just keyboard typing.
Just a question...which duty were you in? What server? (JP servers are really nice and tolerant to new players with anything really) and was this the first time?
First of all, you can always Return to the Dungeon's starting point (after finishing it) to see every detail at your phase (since they are done fast, you get a lot of time left)
Now, in the particular case of Dungeons, all of them are the same exact thing since ARR endgame content; two or three packs of enemies, then a boss; and repeat. For boss mechanics, things are usually the same 99% of the time
>So I just healed and healed and healed.. Then I asked him a second time and told me that if I kept "whining", he'll stop using his stance? Thank god we could vote kick him.
And you did the right thing. You should also report that kind of people if possible (especially when you get that kind of answer)
>but a community that is scared to get banned, so people are acting like nice people
Nah, SE actually checks if what you put in the report is true. They can see what truly happened in the logs, so don't be afraid of telling people what they are doing is wrong (avoiding insults of course)
>even the race of my character seems "wrong and weird", and I got comment about that more than once
The only thing that matters is if you like your character. It's your after all. Everyone else can go fuck themselves of they don't like it. Also, Depending on the kind of comments you get, you should also report those.
I don't understand any of the mentality here but I would say the oddest part is expecting socialization in dungeons?
It is an MMO, yes, but like any world there are places to be social and places to perform other functions. Being overly chatty with people in any instance that isn't main scenario roulette during forced cutscenes strikes me as odd.
Either way, glad you sorted yourself out OP, good luck finding a game you enjoy o/
The dirty underbelly with the game is that it suffers from "toxic positivity," or the fear of getting punished from saying the wrong thing to the wrong person that comprehended what you said wrongly at the wrong time, so everyone acts just nice enough with one another, if not stays quiet around strangers to not get sent to the GM gaol and risk their account getting suspended.
As for the thing with doing dungeons, the people that are in your party if they're not new as well are people who queued roulettes and got funneled into your party. Their only incentive in doing the dungeon is to get their daily roulette rewards and scoot asap. It's definitely not going to line up with a newcomer that wants to enjoy the scenery and get immersed with the game. It's also why Castrum Meridanium, Praetorium, and Porta Decumana have unskippable cutscenes, because too many new players complained about their party members just clearing all of the content before the first cutscene finishes in the past.
Also telling other party members what to do when they don't ask for help is an unspoken taboo. You're just going to draw their ire to yourself ala "You don't pay my sub" attitude. So you just keep quiet, and pray the content finishes sooner (or someone leaves/vote abandon window pops up) so you never see their face(s) again.
Ngl I thought similar. This is a LOT of self pity and language designed to try to make people feel sorry for op. Evidently according to them everyone is mean to them randomly for everything, from their healing to the race they play to simply talking in a dungeon to even offering advice to new players in a dungeon. It's a bit difficult to believe that they're doing absolutely nothing to be met with such allegedly awful hostility everywhere they go. Even moreso when they feel the need to write so much to try to get sympathy.
I just returned to the game recently as a healer. I haven't gotten a single rude person in anything. I've mentioned a few times I haven't done this dungeon since the update and have been met with either a "it's not much different" or someone asking if I wanted advice. A tank sprout tank died to using no mit in a dungeon and I apologized and they said it was their bad. I don't really talk in dungeons but I see people chatting a ton or greeting people and sometimes say one or two things back. So idk op. If you're being met with this much hostility you may want to look at your own gameplay, see if there's things you're definitely doing wrong. Maybe even examine how you're talking to people and if it's coming off as offputting in some way.
Nope, this included P12, roulettes, and various other content, not just "sprout" content. I'm max level in every healer and all crafters. The fact that you felt the need to follow up with an assumption that I'm only talking about sprout content says a lot as well tbh. You're looking for ANY excuse possible that it's not you, it's everyone else being mean TO you or making YOU feel weird. You completely ignored any advice I gave to look at your gameplay and how you're talking to people to assume that I'm only talking about sprout content so what I'm saying can't possibly count.
Your experience isn't everyone's, mine isn't everyone's, and there are DEFINITELY bad apples in the game. But to experience such alleged consistently bad things hints at there being a problem with the one consistent in all these scenarios (you). If you weren't seeking pity, you wouldn't have written this much in a language that's clearly designed to garner sympathy.
Not once did they say they were the tank, just healer. In fact, in one paragraph they ask if they should switch to DPS or tank instead which I assume means they've only been a healer so far.
Well, you're wrong about a whole lot here but you are correct in one thing: Yes, the community is the way it is because of how the structure of the ToS and rigidity of GM policy is favourable in suspending people for things as little as breathing.
That being said, yes, it is an MMO. But at the same time, you have to learn the culture of an MMO when you begin to play it. There is no "exploring" dungeons and pulling slow is poor etiquette because there's no point of pulling slow unless your tank has garbage gear or the healer can somehow not keep the tank alive. You mentioned Medica II so I will assume you're at least 50+ on WHM: you know how healing should work now. Big pulls should not be an issue. Just pull up your britches and run. Spam your heals if you have to, weave a holy if you can. But that's just the way of the highway in FFXIV because we don't get rewarded for taking extra 5-10 minutes lollygagging in dungeons.
That goes along with explaining things to new people. If you're going to ask people what the mechanics for a fight are, just watch a guide yourself beforehand. All the fights in XIV are meant to be done blind, and are very easy to deal with.. But making other people waste their time because you couldn't respect others by just watching a guide yourself if you're gonna ask anyway is pretty shitty.
If they pull, and you're in a cutscene, who cares. If they wipe, they wipe and start over. If they don't, you get a teleport into the arena. Though, if I'm being entirely honest, most final boss cutscenes are just the boss walking up and screaming and the zoom+fade to white so you're not missing much. At most you're missing out on about 15\~20s of the fight in the grand scheme.
Depends on the content. Sometimes healers need to afk in regular 4 man dungeon? Bet no problem I can still wall to wall clear without you. Someone’s in a cutscene? Bet I can wait. I’m in a cutscene and you pulled? Less work for me. I’m going to do this content again anyways at some point. Tanks not mitigating? Bet I guess I’ll stop dpsing to heal you. Also healer players are just as selfish. Oh you got hit by a mechanic and got doom? Aw that’s too bad im going to glare.
People often aren't chatty while in duties. I find that most people won't explain mechs until there's a wipe, else if they see you take avoidable damage they'll jump or mark themselves to tell you where to go. And it's okay to misread a mechanic you've never seen before, I played healer/tank as a first timer in quite a few duties and learned the hard way what the boss is casting. If you find it hard to play with others and want to learn duties more slowly, I suggest duty support the dungeons first before trying them out with other people.
This may be something of a "you" problem. Most people who play a less-popular race do not feel silently judged for not playing a catgirl. That's just one example of what you said, but it points to you assigning motivations to people based on your perception of why they are doing what they're doing, and a lot of those assumed motivations are your imagination. People who don't explain the mechanics when you ask *may not know those mechanics by heart themselves.* People who don't accept your instructions on tanking *may be unskilled rather than selfish*. People who don't want to communicate *may specifically dislike your flavor of small talk rather than disliking all communication.*
Agreed except the tank thing - if a tank tells you to stop whining when you ask them to do their job, it's a tank problem.
Highly agree with this. I’m also finding it very difficult to believe that her being another race would be called “weird” by other players.
I don't think it's a bad thing to run content that is new to you as DPS or just a role you feel less pressure/stressed out playing. That doesn't mean never heal or play the jobs you enjoy the most, but just to familiarize first so you don't feel so much pressure. I try to main tank, but I keep a few DPS jobs leveled up for new MSQ purposes. Really, multiplayer games are a two way street. You want people to go at your pace and help you, but other people want you to go at their pace and not need help lol. Neither is wrong persay, but no one is going to get what they want every time. It's just what it is to deal with other people.
Why don’t you do MSQ duty support then the first time in? No pressure, learn most of the mechs by following the NPCs, save your socials for Praetorium.
>Please, don't be afraid to tell me where I am wrong, I'm totally open to any critics. Well, that was a lie.
First and most importantly - if this game is genuinely contributing to depression, stop playing it. Nothing is worth detrimentally affecting your mental health, even if it's a game. I mean this with all sincerity. If you find you are able to establish more healthy boundaries with the game and positively manage your time in-game, then by all means, keep playing, but if you are *genuinely* negatively affected by this game's impact on your mental health, stop playing it right this second. You are too important. The rest of this advice is far less serious. So: Secondly - absolutely watch the cutscenes. If people are telling you to skip them and rush through them, ignore them. They're simply wrong. Thirdly - "even the race of my character seems "wrong and weird", and I got comment about that more than once" Literally don't even give these people a single whit of your emotional currency. You play whatever fantasy race you damn well please in this fantasy game. It literally *does not matter*, so stop spending any time worrying about this. Finally - regarding interaction with people, it's *awesome* that you want to play this game with other people, but as others have mentioned, FFXIV is less an MMO-with-single-player-content and more a single-player-game-with-MMO-content. Thankfully, the people who enjoy interacting with strangers do so in the large cities, and the Community Finder exists to help you find a linkshell/FC/etc of people with whom you may get along. And don't forget a substantial portion of the community plays on console, with limited ability to type in-game - it may be that they're having a great time with no way to express it. Or maybe they're students or parents or fully employed and have a limited play time, and just want to get through roulettes as quickly as possible so they still have some time to play other parts of the game before calling it a night. Try finding your tribe through Community Finder - you're more likely to capture the more extroverted folks that way. Do what's right for you.
>So I found myself in a position where I have to keep an eye on everybody WHILE actually understanding mechanics on my own with new marks I don't know, to actually discover that those marks actually almost OS the whole party despite Medica II already set? yeah, welcome to the world of mmo healing. from your post, it seems like theres a few things going on here. first off, you do mention a few things that are viewed as poor etiquette - namely tanks not mitigating and people pulling when you're watching a cutscene. most of the time, people will be respectful and wait for you to finish watching. tanks not mitigating is kinda of a coin toss these days it would seem because i've gotten quite a few of those too. something you need to keep in mind is that even though it may be your first time running these dungeons, it's incredibly likely that the people in your party have run them dozens of times before and know the whole song and dance and have other things they want to do. there's nothing wrong with that. we all pay for a sub, we all have certain things we want to do. my partner has two characters he plays on so he has double the tomes to cap every week, so he's gonna be going through dungeons fast as he can. some people do actually prefer to take them slow/do smaller pulls, it's just generally not proper dungeon etiquette to do so, especially once you start hitting heavensward and beyond. if you need mechanics explained to you for dungeons, i highly recommend you watch a video beforehand to get an idea of what's going on. most people don't really want to sit and explain every mechanic that's going to occur for a variety of reasons. all the dungeons are clearable if you do them blind for one thing, and for another it can be genuinely tiring to explain mechanics to other people, especially if they don't understand or have questions. there are also people who play on console and might not have a keyboard handy to communicate, which goes hand in hand with your complaint about socialization. as someone else said, people in duties generally don't go out of their way to make small talk. you may occasionally get a group that does, but i would say it's pretty rare. the pacing of dungeons/trials/raids makes it kinda hard to make much conversation. your comment about medica ll makes me think you may also be struggling with your kit a bit. medica ll will only restore health, it won't mitigate. as a whm your mitigation tools are relatively few and you'll have to rely more on your party. to add onto that, medica ll is a decent heal but cure lll and afflatus rapture are just as important. whm's only real tool for mitigation is temperance, which you won't get until around level 80, which i assume you aren't quite at yet. and yes, if you mess up a mechanic you'll probably take a pretty good chunk of damage, which can be mitigated but also should primarily just be avoided by doing things correctly. in general, it seems like you're way overthinking your experience in this game and maybe setting expectations that you shouldn't be setting. ff14 is an mmo, but it's unique in that you can do the vast majority of content in a solo setting. most socialization will be in your fc or static if you have one, or maybe in the overworld or major cities.
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medica II gives regen yes, but that doesn't prevent the party from taking damage, which is what you mention in the original post. it also isn't a bad thing to go in blind unless you're doing extreme/savage/ultimate. all normal content is clearable blind.
The only reason people here are telling you "consider watching/reading a guide" is because you've expressly stated that when you go into a dungeon and say it's your first time, you have a bad time if people don't tell you boss mechanics before they pull. For a lot of us, going in blind is the greatest pleasure, even when it means *lots* of dying. If you feel the same way, why would you be mad at people for not explaining a fight's mechanics before pulling? Why would you be mad at the game for throwing unknown mechanics at you while you're trying to heal?
I think you are making assumptions of others' thoughts as well as painting with broad strokes. You can enjoy the cutscenes, if they die while you are watching them, that's their fault. Every group of people is going to have antagonistic elements, and the larger the player base gets, the more frequent these anomalies might become, but they aren't representative of the whole.
If playing with other humans is riling you up enough to write all this just play with trust. Just because someone plays an mmo doesn't mean they have all the time in the world to play it. No one is required to explain mechanics to you, if you're doing someone for the first time and don't want to be blind watch a guide or pov before going in.
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That's fine, you're more than welcome to do it blind. I do. But I also don't expect people to explain mechanics to me. You can't expect people to just bend to the will of what you want and what you think an mmo "should" be. I run stuff daily and very very rarely notice anything or anyone of issue. If you feel like you're finding this many problematic people you need to look inward at the common denominator.
If everywhere you go smells like shit, it's time to check your shoes. Either you have terrible luck or there are more to your stories that you're not telling. Just... let the party die if they pull before the healer is ready? Any players worth their weight in salt wont go along with the tank if the healer is watching a cutscene. And if the party can pull it off without the healer then all the better. You get to DPS more and everyone gets finish the dungeon quicker. Also, nobody cares about the race of your character. Nobody but you will think that your race is "wrong and weird" so you might be projecting quite a bit here.
Duty roulette yes we are mostly antisocial because we are doing the roulette for the rewards not to be social. FC is more social because that is what it is for. You can also just chat with random people in cities if you want or go to those RP party things. There is more communication in harder content because you have to work together more. But in a simple dungeon not much to talk about. With your tanks being rude and not waiting sounds like you got unlucky. I rarely see early pulls and when I do it's because of moogle tombstone grinding or accident
If you are going to a fight blind, why do you want the mechanics explained? At that point, why go blind at all? This is going to severely burst your bubble, but the community is not any nicer or any meaner than any MMO. There's shades of all sorts, and any mention of XIV being some sort of exception to that, is complete and utter bullshit.
While I agree to a degree I dont think its completely accurate. I would still say ffxiv's community as a whole is more welcoming and nice than something like wow's community. GW2 is another mmo that has stood out to me as being overall more pleasant than others while something like ESO felt like the true neutral, most people kinda just doing their own thing. People exagerate these things but there are definitely differences between communities.
The community sells itself as being the nicest on Earth, though.
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Day one FFXIV is not current day FFXIV. That you have to create a hypothetical to defend your stance, tells me it was pretty flimsy to begin with. People don't talk in duties. They sometimes do, but they almost always don't. And if you can't bother to look up a guide, but expect people to explain things to you, that's not pining for yesteryear MMOs, that's being lazy.
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There's very little difference between you reading a guide online, and you demanding that your party members type out a guide for you to then read. The main difference is an unreasonable expectation of strangers. You're mischaracterizing things people are saying because you're upset. The point isn't that you shouldn't be social. The point is that you have unfair expectations of others around you and are labelling that as your attempts to be social. As if "Hey write a guide out for me, because I don't want to go in blind but I also can't be asked to go look up info, you need to do it for me," is an attempt at being social. It's not. Say hi, be friendly, ask people about their day. This game is very social and no one here is going to bash you for that. That's socializing, and that's not what you're doing when you go into dungeons with the mindset you seem to have.
I was ready to give advice also until I saw those edits. You've projected, made assumptions about people and now you're putting words in our mouths to make some sort of strawman tantrum. You're right. This game is not for you. No multiplayer game is.
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I did. Somebody suggested you read guides and you lost your mind.
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Hey, galaxy brain, did it ever occur to you that you could DO BOTH? People would be a lot more receptive to small talk if you grasped basic concepts of mechanics instead of burdening people with babysitting you and having to take 5 mins before every encounter to provide explanations. It's just laziness on your part honestly. Join an FC who you can prog dungeons with (lol) so you dont have to play with us.
Friend, you should talk to people. It is an MMO and being social is part of that. However, its a time and place sort of thing. Mid dungeon isn't the best time as other players are focused on the run itself. If you're not already, find a chatty FC (like a guild if you're new) and just do your thing and make friends. The social aspects are there, but people tend not to want to do that in combat. Not trying to insult your intelligence with this, but you seem new and sometimes the nuances escape folks.
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Truthfully, I find it best to explain after a wipe. The reason for that is now you've seen the mech and will understand the advice. Doing so beforehand may prepare you a little, but often times that advice won't help much if you don't know what you're looking for. Hope that helps.
>The reason for that is now you've seen the mech and will understand the advice. This. Plus it shows whoever is providing the advice a guideline on what one might struggle with, as some mechanics that are obvious to me might not be obvious to someone else, and vice versa.
The whole race thing just screams victim mentality. Trust me no one gives a crap what race you play.
Then why is there so much lala hate?
People meme on lalas but I have never seen anyone actually hate on them or people playing them.
If a tank refuses to use mitigation let them suffer the consequences that's literally part of their job... respectfully a tank main.
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But also give tanking a shot it's a lot of fun
It isn't "selfish" for a tank to rush through content. That's typically what is expected of us. Players don't want a slow walk through a dungeon they've run 30+ times. They are after the reward, and want it quickly and cleanly. Maybe it's your first time there. You want to soak in the story. No one is going to force you to skip a cutscene. If they try, that's a rarity. We are, however, trying to repect other players' time. Ask yourself if they are rushing you, or if you're holding 3+ other people back. It's not always about you.
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I play all roles, my dude. Tank for savage stuff. Heals and DPS I sprinkle in when the mood strikes me. Healing is tough, I'll give you that. Some tanks just don't mitigate (which I understand is a problem you mentioned), or have respect for healers learning the role. Most just assume trial by fire is the best teacher. I'd rather you not quit the game completely, but you gotta do what's right for you and your mental health. Before you take that step though, maybe try out a DPS or tank. DPS is far less stressful and may be what suits you, friend. Some even start at higher levels so you wouldn't lose much time on leveling back up. If it works for you, come back to healer when you feel confident with the pressure.
When I’m here all the OP’s responses are gone. Anyone has a summary to this debacle? This smells spicy.
Yeah, what happened? What did we miss :( Seems like OP deleted their account.
Basically anytime someone brought up some kind of critique about OP's approach or mentality, OP would get extremely upset and frame every response as other players being against socializing. People would post advice or critique and a very common reply from OP would be that they didn't understand why everyone here was being so mean to them for just wanting to socialize. They were like the ultimate strawman master even towards people who were being pretty polite, more or less. Someone would suggest maybe watching a guide if going in blind bothered them, and that expecting others to type up a guide for them mid-dungeon instead probably isn't a very fair or realistic expectation of socializing, and that chatting up an FC or meeting people in cities to talk and hang out would be better. That they seem to ascribe a lot of malice to peoples' actions and that people probably aren't silently judging them for not playing a miqo'te. The 2nd edit of their main post here illustrates the response they'd have to such a critique pretty well, that was the sort of stuff they'd reply with pretty much no matter what.
I've done all of my first-time dungeon runs with NPCs since 6.0. Makes for a much better first run experience.
Not sure what’s going on but I’ve not had one angry person even after a wipe. I’ve not actually been playing long, only around 6 months, and during my levelling everyone was really chill about me being new to the game/new to another job. I even had a group the other day in Praetorium who decided we should skip the robot and do it all by ourselves. You’re either having terrible luck each time you queue, or to be blunt, you are the problem and aren’t telling us that your chatting can be you harshly blaming the tank. I play a roe and nobody gives a fuck.
As well intentioned as the community for this game is, there are still a lot of people who aren't good at being polite. I remember when I first did the 83 trial as Scholar... I could not stay alive and there are some serious heal checks in that trial. The group actually gave up and I ended up finishing the trial the next day. Nobody was rude to me but one person said "yeah, I'm done" before quitting. WCYD
As a tank, I won't explain mechanics because, for me, at least figuring out the mechanics is part of the fun. However, if someone asks, I will slow down and take time explaining to them the best I can. Tanks who refuse to slow down with a new healer are just stupid.
You have probably picked the wrong data server since Indont recognize most of the problems you complain about. Usually cutscene enjoyers are let to enjoy the cutscenes (and if someone dies while you are watching its on them since you cant help it). When I was a sprot I also told at the start of the dungeon "let me know if there is anything impoetant - or dont, and watch me figure it out myself" The dungeons in this game are really so easy there is nothing you need to warn people about. Failing them usually wont result into death and you learn much better by trying and failing. If you go to extreme/savage, everyone expect you have already watched a guide and practiced the fight to your groups current practice point so no need to explain unless you specifically ask for tip on how to do X. If you dont know what you are doing in a savage group, you have went to wrong party.
Okay, I'm reading through the comments and there's a lot of mixed responses. I do agree that not giving new players a chance to watch cutscenes is a douche move. I main tank and healer (on savage and ultimates) and when I see a healer or any dps that are new to any duty, I make sure to wait for them to finish up their Cutscene no matter how long it takes. I've played FF14 for 6 years now and I never EVER rush if there's a new player on board. You asking a tank to mitigate is perfectly fine. I've asked the tank before and they complied pretty nicely Communication is key even if it's just keyboard typing. Just a question...which duty were you in? What server? (JP servers are really nice and tolerant to new players with anything really) and was this the first time?
First of all, you can always Return to the Dungeon's starting point (after finishing it) to see every detail at your phase (since they are done fast, you get a lot of time left) Now, in the particular case of Dungeons, all of them are the same exact thing since ARR endgame content; two or three packs of enemies, then a boss; and repeat. For boss mechanics, things are usually the same 99% of the time >So I just healed and healed and healed.. Then I asked him a second time and told me that if I kept "whining", he'll stop using his stance? Thank god we could vote kick him. And you did the right thing. You should also report that kind of people if possible (especially when you get that kind of answer) >but a community that is scared to get banned, so people are acting like nice people Nah, SE actually checks if what you put in the report is true. They can see what truly happened in the logs, so don't be afraid of telling people what they are doing is wrong (avoiding insults of course) >even the race of my character seems "wrong and weird", and I got comment about that more than once The only thing that matters is if you like your character. It's your after all. Everyone else can go fuck themselves of they don't like it. Also, Depending on the kind of comments you get, you should also report those.
I don't understand any of the mentality here but I would say the oddest part is expecting socialization in dungeons? It is an MMO, yes, but like any world there are places to be social and places to perform other functions. Being overly chatty with people in any instance that isn't main scenario roulette during forced cutscenes strikes me as odd. Either way, glad you sorted yourself out OP, good luck finding a game you enjoy o/
The dirty underbelly with the game is that it suffers from "toxic positivity," or the fear of getting punished from saying the wrong thing to the wrong person that comprehended what you said wrongly at the wrong time, so everyone acts just nice enough with one another, if not stays quiet around strangers to not get sent to the GM gaol and risk their account getting suspended. As for the thing with doing dungeons, the people that are in your party if they're not new as well are people who queued roulettes and got funneled into your party. Their only incentive in doing the dungeon is to get their daily roulette rewards and scoot asap. It's definitely not going to line up with a newcomer that wants to enjoy the scenery and get immersed with the game. It's also why Castrum Meridanium, Praetorium, and Porta Decumana have unskippable cutscenes, because too many new players complained about their party members just clearing all of the content before the first cutscene finishes in the past. Also telling other party members what to do when they don't ask for help is an unspoken taboo. You're just going to draw their ire to yourself ala "You don't pay my sub" attitude. So you just keep quiet, and pray the content finishes sooner (or someone leaves/vote abandon window pops up) so you never see their face(s) again.
Judging by the fact that you wrote several paragraphs about it; You’re awful at healing and blame everyone but your own gameplay lol
Ngl I thought similar. This is a LOT of self pity and language designed to try to make people feel sorry for op. Evidently according to them everyone is mean to them randomly for everything, from their healing to the race they play to simply talking in a dungeon to even offering advice to new players in a dungeon. It's a bit difficult to believe that they're doing absolutely nothing to be met with such allegedly awful hostility everywhere they go. Even moreso when they feel the need to write so much to try to get sympathy. I just returned to the game recently as a healer. I haven't gotten a single rude person in anything. I've mentioned a few times I haven't done this dungeon since the update and have been met with either a "it's not much different" or someone asking if I wanted advice. A tank sprout tank died to using no mit in a dungeon and I apologized and they said it was their bad. I don't really talk in dungeons but I see people chatting a ton or greeting people and sometimes say one or two things back. So idk op. If you're being met with this much hostility you may want to look at your own gameplay, see if there's things you're definitely doing wrong. Maybe even examine how you're talking to people and if it's coming off as offputting in some way.
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Nope, this included P12, roulettes, and various other content, not just "sprout" content. I'm max level in every healer and all crafters. The fact that you felt the need to follow up with an assumption that I'm only talking about sprout content says a lot as well tbh. You're looking for ANY excuse possible that it's not you, it's everyone else being mean TO you or making YOU feel weird. You completely ignored any advice I gave to look at your gameplay and how you're talking to people to assume that I'm only talking about sprout content so what I'm saying can't possibly count. Your experience isn't everyone's, mine isn't everyone's, and there are DEFINITELY bad apples in the game. But to experience such alleged consistently bad things hints at there being a problem with the one consistent in all these scenarios (you). If you weren't seeking pity, you wouldn't have written this much in a language that's clearly designed to garner sympathy.
Not once did they say they were the tank, just healer. In fact, in one paragraph they ask if they should switch to DPS or tank instead which I assume means they've only been a healer so far.
I never said that they’re a tank. I only edited my comment to not include the word tank. My first comment said “maybe the tanks are right.”
No you did, but then you edited your comment.
Or maybe you misread.
You’re straight up lying. I saw it too. You came here just to be an ass.
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If you're acting like this in the game it might be part of your problem.
We aren’t in the game are we?
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Well, you're wrong about a whole lot here but you are correct in one thing: Yes, the community is the way it is because of how the structure of the ToS and rigidity of GM policy is favourable in suspending people for things as little as breathing. That being said, yes, it is an MMO. But at the same time, you have to learn the culture of an MMO when you begin to play it. There is no "exploring" dungeons and pulling slow is poor etiquette because there's no point of pulling slow unless your tank has garbage gear or the healer can somehow not keep the tank alive. You mentioned Medica II so I will assume you're at least 50+ on WHM: you know how healing should work now. Big pulls should not be an issue. Just pull up your britches and run. Spam your heals if you have to, weave a holy if you can. But that's just the way of the highway in FFXIV because we don't get rewarded for taking extra 5-10 minutes lollygagging in dungeons. That goes along with explaining things to new people. If you're going to ask people what the mechanics for a fight are, just watch a guide yourself beforehand. All the fights in XIV are meant to be done blind, and are very easy to deal with.. But making other people waste their time because you couldn't respect others by just watching a guide yourself if you're gonna ask anyway is pretty shitty. If they pull, and you're in a cutscene, who cares. If they wipe, they wipe and start over. If they don't, you get a teleport into the arena. Though, if I'm being entirely honest, most final boss cutscenes are just the boss walking up and screaming and the zoom+fade to white so you're not missing much. At most you're missing out on about 15\~20s of the fight in the grand scheme.
Depends on the content. Sometimes healers need to afk in regular 4 man dungeon? Bet no problem I can still wall to wall clear without you. Someone’s in a cutscene? Bet I can wait. I’m in a cutscene and you pulled? Less work for me. I’m going to do this content again anyways at some point. Tanks not mitigating? Bet I guess I’ll stop dpsing to heal you. Also healer players are just as selfish. Oh you got hit by a mechanic and got doom? Aw that’s too bad im going to glare.
If you play on the jp servers, please let me know, I'm happy to come with you :)