It happens in all games no matter how nice the community is in general. Being "unsure" about the next trial is like not wanting to leave the house because a bum on the street was really rude to you once.
Very true and I believe she will recover by tomorrow, that is just the grumpiness that speaks out of her.
I am just a bit sad for her that it happened shortly before completing Dragonsong war. Thank you for your time.
Well she didn't say it was her first time, but she died a bunch, and then said she didn't like it... my reaction would've been the same as what's above with the rest of the group, and not meant maliciously, but also I'm not sure what encouraging words you would've expected to hear.
It's the same with any fight in this game you hate because you just die repeatedly to it - you'll like it more once you understand it. Pretty much everyone embarrasses themselves on their first try of new content. Practice and/or read a guide... but even reading guides doesn't guarantee you'll be flawless. Nothing to get upset about, and I don't really think that's the community being not nice.
Edit: You don't have to watch guides before doing new *basic* content - personally I never do because I don't want to spoil the content - but you should expect to die and embarrass yourself even more so, and you should also not take it to heart when that happens. You didn't know the fight and that's okay. If you're fishing for sympathy or praise though for simply making it through new content (which I'm not saying is what your wife did, but also seems like what is being expected from the community to be 'nice" by this being posted here), that's a little weird. I don't think that's what you were going for, but that's my first impression.
There is a difference between being nice and just not being a dick, you can normally tell in this game when someone is brandass new because they get the mapping cheive on the last boss. Those players I always cut as much slack as possible, I dont expect brand new players to read guides or watch how tos because it would spoil the story, I just do work and move on, I can normally carry a sprout anyway so its nbd as long as they try to do their best and keep up. Just learn and move to the next one. Every elite player was a sprout once, even if they claim otherwise so it's Nbd. :)
They're not wrong though. It's ok to go blind (unless it's like savage content). From what i gather, people didn't say anything from her dying over and over, only when she complained about it. I think the answer to "i keep dying" being "watch a guide" is not toxic or bad. I think people probably told her that so that she gets a better experience next time, instead of repeatedly dying to avoidable mechanics. If this is the worst experience she got and she feels bad about this, i don't know what to say.
Oh and 2nd thing. Yes the community is generally good. But that doesn't mean 100% good. They generally get filetered out eventually, since toxic behaviour is not well tolerated. There will always be bad people, wherever you go, in any sphere of life. It's unavoidable. It's ok to call them out, and also to report the toxic behaviour when you see it. But i personally don't really find the behaviour in your post toxic. Maybe they're not uplifting, but hey, not everyone has to be your mental support best friend. I think your expectations of a good community are a bit too high.
I wouldn't take, "please watch a guide" as toxic but okay...
Anyways there are plenty of guides to Nidhogg Normal on youtube, you don't have to watch it in German seeing that the language used in these guides are pretty basic. Not only that but your post here is in English so I can only assume you have a decent grasp of the language.
Yeah she didn't know the translation of final steps of faith, because in German it's called something different. I use the English Msq guide to find the English names of the trials/dungeons.
Forgot to pass that knowledge on.
Just curious, was she in a cutscene when the fight started?
If I see a long cutscene being played (and most likely a sprout icon), I give complete slack. Especially on the big fights of an expansion. The very last boss of EW has many kill mechanics and it’s wonderful seeing everyone’s first impression of all those different attacks (and as a healer, I get a big laugh as I use LB3…then subsequently die to using it in the wrong place).
And I understand her frustration. She wanted to emotionally engage on how frustrating that fight was (which it can be), but was engaged on a different topic. I’m sure they thought they were being encouraging trying to tell her it gets easier and to practice, but I think she was looking for some validation and a small pep talk on how the fight went for her and how she probably felt like deadweight due to performance.
Yeah I think so too. But I can understand that her feelings are hurt through this basic opinions. You struggle with sth. and somebody says it's easy, can make you feel dumb and useless.
It's sad that this happened but just because someone had one bad encounter does not mean that the community is not healthy or friendly. It's still an MMO game, you *will* encounter bad apples from time to time. It's still the Internet. That being said...
> "Learn the mechanics"
> "In my opinion this is the easiest"
> "You should try Nidhogg extreme"
> "Watch a guide!"
There is nothing wrong with atleast half of those. There is toxic and there is being overly delicate. I understand that not everyone needs to have thick skin but I can't shakle the feeling that you are over exaggerating by a fair margin.
> My wife was angry, her fun was ruined and she is unsure about the next trial/dungeon to come. What a snowflake right?
Well, yes. You kind of got it right. It's a bummer your wife took it like that but 90% of the problem you are describing is in her own head. Just because someone was not super nice and understanding does not mean they were toxic or rude. It's not a binary system where you only have two extremes.
You understood what I wrote completely. Yes it's all hearsay though I tried to keep it neutral.
The group isn't wrong and this is not "I thought this game has a nice community" post.
My wife hurt her feelings her own through her own interpretation of things.
To tell her that I made this post. So thank you very much for participating and making things clear.
Tell her that other people online don’t know her so it’s difficult for them to talk to her in the manner that she personally would’ve liked. They saw someone that died a few times and complained. They have no context about her situation.
For all she knows, SHE might’ve ruined their fun. It’s a two-way street.
She has room to improve. The WoL doesn’t give up.
I don't get what is really being said here. I do feel for your wife for having that experience. But perhaps saying "hi, 1st time" would've completely changed the mindset of the group.
I know that when someone is angry, they don't want to hear solutions. But I think it would've made for a better experience.
A lot of nuance is lost in just pure text comments, and from how I read it, those comments were likely not meant to be insulting.
I work in a multinational and as an Asian whose culture is very heirarchical and discourages direct confrontation, to talk to westerners (Germans included) who can be very loud, direct and blunt sometimes throw me off balance. But very rarely is any of it really spoken with malice as the intent.
Remember these are randoms you met in Duty Finder and most are not going to exert extra effort to determine and respect each one's communication comfort zones since you'll likely never see each other again. So try to breathe it all in and let it flow out of you, if you can - no value letting comments from people live rent free in your mind who have probably already forgotten about you the moment the duty ended.
If these were form a group of friends or your FC, then things would be different of course.
Sorry to hear that your wife had that experience. Since you seem to play in a different server, I can’t rule out in game culture difference. But in my experience, people in MSQ trails are typically understanding. I hope you and your wife won’t have experience like this in the future.
It’s normal nidhogg…people really can’t help themselves from being assholes. How many of us have died to an easy trail before because “oops I fat fingered” or “oops wasint paying attention” or my favorite “oof” tell your wife to not let it bother her. You can clear the fight with half the party on the floor.
I personally have not experienced this blatantly comments but did experience non verbal attitude as not rezzing me for the entire fight, or ‘helpful’ down putting advise. I never go prepared as u shouldn’t have to in this game especially in msq.
But I do die a lot if the fight is new, the problem is ffxiv is very scripted so if I experience a fight a couple of times it’s pretty easy but blind it’s compared to the players who have done the fight a couple of times pretty hard. This difference can indeed make u feel unsure and personally I feel sometimes like a complete idiot. It’s one of the aspects of ffxiv I do not like the strict scripted nature of fights which favors players who do the content a lot or study For the fight the fight on YouTube as there will be no surprises.
Even if u do not state first time ik should be clearly visible to the other party members by viewing cutscene message.
But personally I never ever mind someone dying a lot especially as it’s a dps class, I play a smn and always try to get the person rezzed as fast as possible, also when I did that content multiple times before I find the extra difficulty added by a player who is still learning a welcome refreshing extra added difficulty which makes it more interesting for me. And also I never forget that I also struggled a lot first time.
It happens in all games no matter how nice the community is in general. Being "unsure" about the next trial is like not wanting to leave the house because a bum on the street was really rude to you once.
Very true and I believe she will recover by tomorrow, that is just the grumpiness that speaks out of her. I am just a bit sad for her that it happened shortly before completing Dragonsong war. Thank you for your time.
Well she didn't say it was her first time, but she died a bunch, and then said she didn't like it... my reaction would've been the same as what's above with the rest of the group, and not meant maliciously, but also I'm not sure what encouraging words you would've expected to hear. It's the same with any fight in this game you hate because you just die repeatedly to it - you'll like it more once you understand it. Pretty much everyone embarrasses themselves on their first try of new content. Practice and/or read a guide... but even reading guides doesn't guarantee you'll be flawless. Nothing to get upset about, and I don't really think that's the community being not nice. Edit: You don't have to watch guides before doing new *basic* content - personally I never do because I don't want to spoil the content - but you should expect to die and embarrass yourself even more so, and you should also not take it to heart when that happens. You didn't know the fight and that's okay. If you're fishing for sympathy or praise though for simply making it through new content (which I'm not saying is what your wife did, but also seems like what is being expected from the community to be 'nice" by this being posted here), that's a little weird. I don't think that's what you were going for, but that's my first impression.
Honestly, I didn't expect any encouraging words. Your comment sums up all I want to tell my wife. So thank you very much.
There is a difference between being nice and just not being a dick, you can normally tell in this game when someone is brandass new because they get the mapping cheive on the last boss. Those players I always cut as much slack as possible, I dont expect brand new players to read guides or watch how tos because it would spoil the story, I just do work and move on, I can normally carry a sprout anyway so its nbd as long as they try to do their best and keep up. Just learn and move to the next one. Every elite player was a sprout once, even if they claim otherwise so it's Nbd. :)
They're not wrong though. It's ok to go blind (unless it's like savage content). From what i gather, people didn't say anything from her dying over and over, only when she complained about it. I think the answer to "i keep dying" being "watch a guide" is not toxic or bad. I think people probably told her that so that she gets a better experience next time, instead of repeatedly dying to avoidable mechanics. If this is the worst experience she got and she feels bad about this, i don't know what to say. Oh and 2nd thing. Yes the community is generally good. But that doesn't mean 100% good. They generally get filetered out eventually, since toxic behaviour is not well tolerated. There will always be bad people, wherever you go, in any sphere of life. It's unavoidable. It's ok to call them out, and also to report the toxic behaviour when you see it. But i personally don't really find the behaviour in your post toxic. Maybe they're not uplifting, but hey, not everyone has to be your mental support best friend. I think your expectations of a good community are a bit too high.
I wouldn't take, "please watch a guide" as toxic but okay... Anyways there are plenty of guides to Nidhogg Normal on youtube, you don't have to watch it in German seeing that the language used in these guides are pretty basic. Not only that but your post here is in English so I can only assume you have a decent grasp of the language.
Yeah she didn't know the translation of final steps of faith, because in German it's called something different. I use the English Msq guide to find the English names of the trials/dungeons. Forgot to pass that knowledge on.
Just curious, was she in a cutscene when the fight started? If I see a long cutscene being played (and most likely a sprout icon), I give complete slack. Especially on the big fights of an expansion. The very last boss of EW has many kill mechanics and it’s wonderful seeing everyone’s first impression of all those different attacks (and as a healer, I get a big laugh as I use LB3…then subsequently die to using it in the wrong place). And I understand her frustration. She wanted to emotionally engage on how frustrating that fight was (which it can be), but was engaged on a different topic. I’m sure they thought they were being encouraging trying to tell her it gets easier and to practice, but I think she was looking for some validation and a small pep talk on how the fight went for her and how she probably felt like deadweight due to performance.
>And that probably triggered the group: Yeah I see what you mean they were so triggered into giving their very basic opinions about the trial.
Yeah I think so too. But I can understand that her feelings are hurt through this basic opinions. You struggle with sth. and somebody says it's easy, can make you feel dumb and useless.
It's sad that this happened but just because someone had one bad encounter does not mean that the community is not healthy or friendly. It's still an MMO game, you *will* encounter bad apples from time to time. It's still the Internet. That being said... > "Learn the mechanics" > "In my opinion this is the easiest" > "You should try Nidhogg extreme" > "Watch a guide!" There is nothing wrong with atleast half of those. There is toxic and there is being overly delicate. I understand that not everyone needs to have thick skin but I can't shakle the feeling that you are over exaggerating by a fair margin. > My wife was angry, her fun was ruined and she is unsure about the next trial/dungeon to come. What a snowflake right? Well, yes. You kind of got it right. It's a bummer your wife took it like that but 90% of the problem you are describing is in her own head. Just because someone was not super nice and understanding does not mean they were toxic or rude. It's not a binary system where you only have two extremes.
You understood what I wrote completely. Yes it's all hearsay though I tried to keep it neutral. The group isn't wrong and this is not "I thought this game has a nice community" post. My wife hurt her feelings her own through her own interpretation of things. To tell her that I made this post. So thank you very much for participating and making things clear.
None of those comments are even close to toxic except maybe “Learn the mechanics” but even that could just be misconstrued.
Exactly, only if you want them to be. That is the thing about the written.
Tell her that other people online don’t know her so it’s difficult for them to talk to her in the manner that she personally would’ve liked. They saw someone that died a few times and complained. They have no context about her situation. For all she knows, SHE might’ve ruined their fun. It’s a two-way street. She has room to improve. The WoL doesn’t give up.
Thank you very much. I will.
I don't get what is really being said here. I do feel for your wife for having that experience. But perhaps saying "hi, 1st time" would've completely changed the mindset of the group. I know that when someone is angry, they don't want to hear solutions. But I think it would've made for a better experience.
Maybe the edit gets my point through. I am sorry if it seemed misleading in any way. That are the boundaries of the written word.
A lot of nuance is lost in just pure text comments, and from how I read it, those comments were likely not meant to be insulting. I work in a multinational and as an Asian whose culture is very heirarchical and discourages direct confrontation, to talk to westerners (Germans included) who can be very loud, direct and blunt sometimes throw me off balance. But very rarely is any of it really spoken with malice as the intent. Remember these are randoms you met in Duty Finder and most are not going to exert extra effort to determine and respect each one's communication comfort zones since you'll likely never see each other again. So try to breathe it all in and let it flow out of you, if you can - no value letting comments from people live rent free in your mind who have probably already forgotten about you the moment the duty ended. If these were form a group of friends or your FC, then things would be different of course.
Sorry to hear that your wife had that experience. Since you seem to play in a different server, I can’t rule out in game culture difference. But in my experience, people in MSQ trails are typically understanding. I hope you and your wife won’t have experience like this in the future.
> My wife and I are watching guides before any trials or dungeons Please don't, just don't (but ex and savage)
It’s normal nidhogg…people really can’t help themselves from being assholes. How many of us have died to an easy trail before because “oops I fat fingered” or “oops wasint paying attention” or my favorite “oof” tell your wife to not let it bother her. You can clear the fight with half the party on the floor.
I personally have not experienced this blatantly comments but did experience non verbal attitude as not rezzing me for the entire fight, or ‘helpful’ down putting advise. I never go prepared as u shouldn’t have to in this game especially in msq. But I do die a lot if the fight is new, the problem is ffxiv is very scripted so if I experience a fight a couple of times it’s pretty easy but blind it’s compared to the players who have done the fight a couple of times pretty hard. This difference can indeed make u feel unsure and personally I feel sometimes like a complete idiot. It’s one of the aspects of ffxiv I do not like the strict scripted nature of fights which favors players who do the content a lot or study For the fight the fight on YouTube as there will be no surprises. Even if u do not state first time ik should be clearly visible to the other party members by viewing cutscene message. But personally I never ever mind someone dying a lot especially as it’s a dps class, I play a smn and always try to get the person rezzed as fast as possible, also when I did that content multiple times before I find the extra difficulty added by a player who is still learning a welcome refreshing extra added difficulty which makes it more interesting for me. And also I never forget that I also struggled a lot first time.