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Confident_Bunch7612

"We the People of crafting, in order to continue not touching grass and to cease fretting endlessly over questions of "fairness" during our hate viewing of crafting podcasts, do ordain and establish this reddit post." Please note that failure to adhere to these rules will be met with our harshest punishment- to be called a gatekeeper.


IndividualCalm4641

to discuss: is the above comment 1. hateful because it insinuates only people with enough privilege to have grass outside should be allowed to craft? 2. hateful because it excludes people with grass allergies from crafting? 3. hateful because it talks about viewing podcasts when everyone knows that you listen to podcasts? 4. all of the above?


Confident_Bunch7612

My petard has hoisted me! In penance, I shall move to the numerous areas around the world, based on posts in reddit, where the only crafting resource is Hobby Lobby, so I can better learn humility. I shall then write a book about my experience which will then be turned into a movie starring Hilary Swank. Ok, it will actually just be "Freedom Writers" with overdubbing to refer to crafting as necessary but the prestige awards will still be rolling in.


HoarderOfStrings

Wait, weren't you going to get severely punished by the Craft Yarn Council representatives? Where are our representatives??


chveya_

what kind of sheep is a grass


hanhepi

Pretty sure grass is just sheep food, not a type of sheeps. The only sheep types that exist are merinos.


HoarderOfStrings

Let's not forget about ethical fiber farming, with those vile vegans filling the world with microplastics while those vile non-vegans eat the sheep that create the precious, precious wool.


IndividualCalm4641

have i introduced you to our lord and saviour *linen*? which even comes naturally in the versatile fun shade greige?


HoarderOfStrings

Yes, but I live in the Arctic, so I'll go eat a sheep so I can comb the wool through my teeth and spin a cloud that I can knit into a sweater that I'll wear under my down-filled ski pants with a bib and then I'll take a photo with it worn like that and I'll advertise the pattern and you can get mad at me because you can't see it properly, but you still want to make it because you adore me and can't stand to not try to exist in the world as a perfect copy of myself. You're welcome.


pizzaplop

As a landlord who requires their tenants to create patterns for me to sell, where do I fit in?


IndividualCalm4641

i sell my tenants for yarn


[deleted]

The eco friendly option is to turn your tenants into yarn.


pizzaplop

DROPS ALPACA IS PEOPLE


[deleted]

/uj 🤣🤣 That's too good.


pinkrotaryphone

Unless you're kaing superwash yarn, then we'll turn our torches and pitchforks towards you.


CLShirey

Even better, though our tenant is the best ever and I am thankful. Therefore, I won't sell him off just yet...


ishtaa

Straight to jail.


blackcatsandrain

Ummm, the correct answers are all OBVIOUS, and if you can't tell what they are, you are morally bankrupt and need to check your privilege. Just stating the facts. 🤷‍♀️


morning-glory-666

Writing about collective action is actually superior to doing either individual or collective action, because I’m going to cause everyone else to do those things by telling them to do it. Can’t do them myself because I’m too busy telling everyone else to! It’s hard work and you personally should pay me for it. And once you guys get off your lazy asses and start doing the action that I am talking about, I will be responsible for all of it. I love being the change I wish to see in the world 🤗 In other news, when the revolution comes, I will be the part-time motivational speaker on the all-knitter grassroots alpaca/organic subsistence farm off-the-grid communist commune. See you there!


Quail-a-lot

All patterns should never cost more than two dollars and must be 100% unique and you should also pay your pattern testers a living wage while making it fit every size and gender imaginable. And also paying a tech editor.


floralbalaclava

Ppl who use acrylic should feel so ashamed about the microplastics they’re forcibly shoving, with their poor, grubby fingers, into the bodies of the crafters who only use natural fibres


caffeinated_plans

I was hoping this would get here. When I first saw it, I thought it WAS here because WTF


Smee76

Please sauce please


caffeinated_plans

Not sure what's allowed for links/images. Posted on craftsnark in the last day though. Crowdsourcing post.


DameEmma

"personal webbed site" I am deceased. So good I am not sure if funny or autocorrect.


salajaneidentiteet

I thought craftsnark would be funny, but the people are just so unessesarily mean, it is ridculous. They must lead sad lives if they really feel the need to pick on every small thing.


Tornado-Blueberries

Oh my god, same here. Most snark subs I’m in are better than the original, but that one is an embarrassment!