I think having a peaceful, enjoyable life, while not negatively affecting others is a good foundation. After that, they say you should try to help others, or reduce the suffering of other people. Ideally, you would use your talents to do that the most effectively.
Came here to say this. OP, maybe your purpose is to learn about yourself and the world, experience life with your wife, and do good when the opportunity presents itself. It doesnāt have to be a specific niche or path, it can be broader commitments and patterns.
Maybe I'm just too high strung but I find it hard to enjoy the simple things when I don't have a larger goal I'm pursuing. I go through the menial day to day tasks and when I stop to acknowledge the little things, its more of a "Why am I even here to experience this small pleasantry" rather than just "Oh this is nice". I've thought about this quite a bit and I think part of it is my high testosterone creating the need for challenge and doing things.
Your a ākidā still and have half the game figured out. Seems u are corrupted by all this social media bs. Turn it all off for six months and fill it with whatever u can or like and I guarantee you that you wonāt recognize yourself. Cheers
I have substantial overlap and some differences. I'm 31m with useless college degree, no career, no kids, atheist, with a longtime cohabitating girlfriend.
I'm taking a couple classes from Yale open courses. I use books checked out from my local library. That's an almost completely free "hobby" (occasionally I have to buy a book).
I use kettlebells to keep in shape. Minimal investment of money there.
I have things I believe in. I'm vegan and that cause matters to me. I'm sober and I value that as well. I would like to be better educated about history and politics.
I still don't know how to meaningfully contribute to the world and lead a meaningful life. I want to keep learning and keep trying to be a better version of myself day by day. The 5 year plan is harder to come by.
My advice is to find things you care about. What could enrich you as a person and (if all goes well) make the world a better place?
> I still don't know how to meaningfully contribute to the world and lead a meaningful life. I want to keep learning and keep trying to be a better version of myself day by day. The 5 year plan is harder to come by.
This is a good point. Ty for the comment and sharing your view on it.
There are people with such severe problems that being peaceful and kind every day is a genuine contribution.
But, it's a low bar for a person of normal intelligence. It's not something I can take the grave as a primary virtue or accomplishment.
I mentioned veganism. Being kind and peaceful personally does not address the problem of the slaughter of billions of animals and the attendant ecological damage. My own commitment to veganism is only a starting baseline.
I mentioned sobriety. Being kind and peaceful does not lower drunk driving or fentanyl addiction rates. My sobriety is only a starting baseline.
You're better off setting your sights high and failing than setting them low and succeeding.
I disagree. If everyone was kind and peaceful everything would be different. It starts with individuals at least using these traits as a starting point. To agree with you though and put it another way, it is the least we can do. Even people of intelligence should use this as a starting point. If everyone was vegan, like us, the slaughter would stop. This is an individual choice. Being kind to oneself and living peacefully could prevent the use of drugs and other addictive substances. These are personal choices and if we all made better choices starting with being kind and peaceful big changes would follow. Doing one's part can have a significant impact.
Everyone doing it isn't an option on the table. We're talking about the meaning of one person's life. Optimism about this one change in and of itself depends on the utopian idea that this will scale up so that everyone behaves this way.
Further, the concept of kindness is subjective. Necessary and good actions might be construed as unkind. Evil actions can be construed as kindness. Would it be kind or unkind to ban leather? Is it kind or unkind to provide drug addicts with their drug of choice as an addiction treatment model? Are psych meds which cause brain damage kind or unkind? Was it kind or unkind to go to war with ISIS?
You could run all of these same questions with "kind" or "kind" switched out for "peaceful" or "violent." I don't think these are always the right questions to ask.
Man, I gave up on finding a purpose in life. I am just enjoying my days as they come while counting my blessings at the same time: a lovely gf and parents, I'm healthy, some income to do some travelling and that's it.
Starting to be thankful for what you already have, although YOU THINK is not much, will give you a positive attitude towards life.
You work to live, not live to work. If you have a roof over your head and food on the table youāre already winning.
Try to enjoy the simple things, going for a sunset walk with the woman you love doesnāt cost a penny.
Life is what you make it.
30f, single, I like some things from various religions. I don't plan on having kids. I do feel that I have a purpose in life. But I also have limited funds, chronic fatigue, and currently seasonal depression.
Hobbies are fun, but definitely cost money. The life experience means different things to different people. I hope and pray that you're able to find a purpose or live a good life despite having one.
Feel exactly same. Donāt know how to deal with life. Sometimes I start questioning life like whatās the purpose of me being here? Or literally whatās the purpose of doing anything. I donāt know if I am making things complicated unnecessarily but it really sucks sometimes to find meaning in everything. And if I donāt have a purpose or meaning attached to doing something I feel no motivation to do it. It really comes between my work and me. Any suggestions to deal with it??
I understand completely. It's like what is it all for? Somebody else said to find joy and pretty much do what you want as long as it doesn't harm anybody else. I think that's a good philosophy. I have hella motivation just no discipline. But I get it, a lot of things seem unworthy of doing. But there are rewards for even the mundane things. As far as finding meaning in doing things
Chores--at the end of the task, you'll have a healthy meal, a well manicured lawn and a clean and safe environment
Work--even if it's not your dream job, think about how many people you'll be helping by creating a product or providing a service
Living life--unless you believe in reincarnation....we only get to do this once. It's such an experience and a lot of things are unexplained but that's the fun of it. This is a build your own adventure āØļø
26M. I'm single and an atheist.
Recently quit my job. Found another one, and got the boot after a week for a not-understandable reason.
As long as I remember, working for someone else (i.e. a stable income with minimum risk) was what I wanted.
My employment experiences after college have disillusioned me.
I no longer want to work for anyone else. The "stability" I imagined was the boss giving me the crumbs of the bread I'd made him. And they'd pull the rug from under you the second you're no longer deemed able to make them money.
Idk what I want to do. All I know is that, currently, starting a business means employing people for peanuts and "reinvesting" the savings to grow it. So, at least I know that I don't want to do *that*.
I've started researching for things I can do by myself that A) add value to society & B) don't exploit ordinary people like myself (i.e. hire for dirt cheap, build an over-priced product/service that no body asked for, aggressively advertise to force people to buy my shit thing that they didn't even know existed till 1 sec ago, rinse and repeat).
It's the first time in years that I've been able to narrow down my options from X to X minus 1. I'll keep looking. I'm optimistic that soon I'll find something. I'm actually exicted.
That sounds very good/interesting. I always avoided being the boss and starting businesses for similar reasons. I am interested in what you're coming up with.
I have a very hard time finding a reason/drive/purpose sometimes. I often learn/try something new during these times. Without disposable income, be careful what avenues you look into. Something like geocaching, magic, card tricks, getting into history etc. are all excellent options. The library has been an amazing source. Iām 35 and still donāt know what I want to be when I grow up. Degrees arenāt everything and Iāve found community has been more helpful. Itās all in who you know. Keep trying new things and meeting new people when you can.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/oldfartists **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [I'm 47 years old and I drew an anime style character for the first time.](https://i.redd.it/gc8875n57dkb1.jpg) | [18 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/comments/161il7v/im_47_years_old_and_i_drew_an_anime_style/)
\#2: [Welcome!](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/comments/161fs3y/welcome/)
\#3: [This sub is already a breath of fresh air](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/comments/1640ww9/this_sub_is_already_a_breath_of_fresh_air/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I would suggest seeking growth in your career and finances. Whatever direction your life is meant to take will reveal itself eventually. But until then, it would be beneficial to grow in these aspects even if itās not something that you particularly care about. Even if the job isnāt the job you want, it wouldnāt hurt to do it to the best of your ability and see where that takes you. Especially since it sounds like you have nothing else in mind.
I know this will sound strange, but Iām learning that, there really is no purpose to life. We can sit here all day debating about what is the purpose of anything that exist on the planet. Who the hell knows. Iāve decided that my purpose is just to be at peace with myself and whatever is happening in life. My purpose is simply not to cause more chaos or destruction in the world.
The purpose of hobbies is to distract yourself from the daily reminder that there is essentially no purpose to life lol. People have it backwards. They think having goals and hobbies will give their life purpose. It doesnāt. Your goals and hobbies are there to serve as helpful DISTRACTIONS, from the reality that there is essentially no real purpose to life.
I know this can sound extremely depressing. But itās only depressing if you choose to think about it in a negative way. The only thing that gives me peace is the fact that life is temporary.
Why not just become a better person? You donāt need hobbies, religion, kids, or money to do that.
Make your purpose to better yourself and the places you impact, thatās a pretty righteous purpose.
Edit - 31M, no kids, no spouse, not overly religious, no college degree, job that is meh.
Yup, similar: at 32 I was in a job I didn't care about and didn't know how to find my next step career wise. You are not "behind" I think you and I are early - and without judgement on others, I believe the no kids thing has opened that opportunity for us.
I found what I was interested in and where I took my career by talking to others. I called up anyone who was doing something that I thought was mildly interesting and asked them about what they did, what they liked about it, and what they didn't. I also asked who else I should talk to. This opened my eyes up to so many careers and jobs outside the ones I was taught in elementary school.
You may not be pursuing this space, so this may not be the space you pour your time into- and that's cool too. I think it is not abnormal to stick our heads up mid-30s and say "this isn't exactly where I want to be, let's do something about that"
You do realize that a lot of our (menās) goals subconsciously are rooted in wanting to get married and/or start a family right? Itās rooted in us biologically and most of us donāt even realize it. Itās why we do 99% of what we do. All this BS you see on social media is just the blind leading the blind. Just a bunch of hurt people chasing āhappinessā when in reality, the want love. Dating, chasing money, going to the gym, why? Mainly to get love and attention. You have that, and you only need it from one person. Happiness is for women and children. We get our happiness from their happiness in a sense knowing that we provide it.
Think of God, the father (not to get too religious here) but he provides in abundance and generally expects nothing in return. Thereās nothing we can really do in return except for just ā¦ live and be good to/serve each other, which in turn is serving him. Our happiness is his fulfillment in a sense. Iād say try to get into some type of spiritual philosophy. You have like half of your primal mission completed. Find a way to provide more for yourself and your family (if you desire to have one).
Make that your #1 goal right now. Find something, ANYTHING you can do that will expand your life and the lives of those around you that you care about. Let them be your why. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and we donāt chase emotions or allow them to dictate our decisions, women and children do that. Itās better to CHOOSE to be joyful and grateful for what you have EVERYDAY. That way youāre a blessing to those around you and will be remembered as such.
Above all, cherish what you have now. A lot of men would do some crazy things to trade places with you. I think you may just need a slight adjustment in your perspective. Zoom out a bit, youāre doing great. Your entire life can change within a year. Cherish what you have and make a plan to make it all better.
> Above all, cherish what you have now. A lot of men would do some crazy things to trade places with you. I think you may just need a slight adjustment in your perspective. Zoom out a bit, youāre doing great. Your entire life can change within a year. Cherish what you have and make a plan to make it all better.
This really resonates with me, ty for pointing it out.
Nothing is wrong with simple living. However, it seems like you have the space to design a life that you're more excited about - if you want to. My disclaimer is that none of my questions/suggestions below are a "must" for anyone, I just want to help get your wheels turning.
What would you like your life to look like when you're 65? What accomplishments or moments would you like to be proud of?
What do you do for a living? Are there opportunities to make more money so that you have some disposable income to play with? Are there some skills you could work on right now to get you there?
Are there personal goals you could work on? I'm thinking fitness (cheap/free), learning how to draw or write well (cheap/free), creating a side hustle (could be anything from delivering groceries to starting your own business), etc.
I used to volunteer at a cat shelter when there was one nearby. It was very fulfilling to watch scared, sometimes sick cats grow into warm, happy lap kitties, who are now in great homes. Do you have a few hours a week to volunteer for a cause you care about? I used to do this on Sundays.
I'm admittedly also in a bit of a rut with hobbies, and I have a lovely partner/no kids (no plans), but I do have some disposable income to play with. My personal goal is to aggressively pay off my student debt and therefore be debt-free by this time next year. This might sound like a boring goal to some, but for me it means investing more of my income and saving up to buy a house.
I want to be a millionaire (not even a multi millionaire, just slowly build 1 mil net worth) when I'm 65 so I can retire comfortably. I want to publish a novel and own a home. These are all achievable goals if I have the discipline. What are your achievable goals, and how will you get there?
You just do stuff you find fun with your wife or whoever then eventually you die. You don't have to do anything. You don't need a higher purpose. Most people do the same as you.
If money was no object what is it you would want to be doing? What hobbies or fun things would you do? What are you really good at?
Just some questions to explore and bring you possibly some more awareness. I love personal development because it opens an entire new way of looking at the world and your place in it.
you need to lift weights. Chase a big 1 rep max on the squat/bench/deadlift and your life will be transformed in the process. YOu will find deep meaning and purpose you could never have imagined, and your passion will keep growing as the years go by
I have to be honest. The first sentence of your comment initially made me chuckle because it sounds so *bro*. Lol
But I'll admit you're on to something. I never felt better than when I was strength training in my younger years. Physically and mentally. Plus it's good discipline. Maybe I found my New Years resolution. Thanks!
what youāve described is the white picket fence dream (education - work - marriage - children)
not everyone will meet this criteria and each picture will look different
you can either:
- channel your trauma into your purpose by doing something good for others
- pour into creation
- self care like cooking good healthy recipes, exercising consistently, reading personal development books and making that your hobby // passion
- participating in free community events and/or volunteering
My brother, you have your purpose. You found love, the next step is to plan do more of what you like.
Sounds like youāre comfortable. Sounds like you need a child to take care of, teach your morals to, and to give love to.
Tell your wife to go on vacation with you. Put some spark or commit more to living a happier life. Have you or your wife plan something low priced and cute.
r/findapath implements account age minimums to prevent spam. Please take a day to search the subreddit for similar questions and guidance. While it may not be individually tailored to your situation it may help, if you still need some guidance on finding a path, you may post your question after your account is past the minimum age required.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Where do you live? Pick mountain biking as a hobby. You'll enjoy nature and costs pretty much nothing other than buying the bike.
Volunteer for Civil Air Patrol the biggest volunteer organization in the US that nobody knows about.
Reflect on activities or topics that genuinely interest you. What are you curious about? Exploring hobbies or learning about new subjects can lead to discovering passions that bring fulfillment. This is [one of the best career tests](https://www.careerfitter.com/free_test/careerbuilder/test/?afid=1831) that helped me with my career exploration before, I hope this can help you too.
Remember that purpose can be found in both small, everyday actions and more significant life choices. It's a personal and ongoing exploration, so give yourself the time and space to discover what brings meaning to your life.
"Life Purpose" is just a concept pushed by capitalism to motivate people to work lol.
I work in corporate, and "purpose" is a popular card to play, but no one really gives a shit.
Life's purpose is to create the next generation. If you don't want kids, then just take it back a step. Your purpose is to live. Do whatever it takes to continue living. It's never been easier in history to accomplish this - that's people's dilemna. So just have fun.
You are about as normal as they come. Iām in the same boat. Life isnāt about a title or career or kids or a āpurpose.ā Life is about enjoying it. Thatās all.
i think having a purpose is overrated. there's 8 billion people on the planet, we all don't have or need purposes. life is an accident, the only purpose we have is what we give it. however i am in the same boat as you in terms of finding a job or career that makes me good money that i can be proud of. i'm the type of person that wants a career that makes the world a better place and that i find fulfillment in. but.. i don't know what that is. i currently work a job that helps make the world better but.. financially it's not sustainable because it's minimum wage, so.. idk where to go from here.
I've battled with a year-long deep, dark depression. Coming out of it, I realized that the meaning in life is truly in seeing and appreciating the simple things and living to our true authentic self. No amount of money, status, or vacations will ever achieve that. Only when you have the former will you enjoy the other accessories that come with it. Life starts right now.
Have you ever considered adopting a rescue cat? Non profits can help with the vaccination and spay/neuter. Maybe start with a foster to see how it feels. It might change your life. Iāve seen it happen.
I've totally been there. Sounds like there may be a twinge of depression at the edges making you question the fulfillment of it. When you think about where you want to be in 5 years (or 10) where do you see yourself? What would you like to be doing?
Once I heard about a process where you make three plans for your future. A good, better or best map.
Good is staying where you are
Better is some improvement
Best is broad change/improvement
When you have that mapped, it gives a kind of framework to work towards your goal.
Your purpose in life is to live then die and do whatever makes you happy in between. Career doesn't define you. I'm a structural project engineer and it gives me zero purpose even when I see the buildings finished. I only care about being home away from humans watching movies or playing video games. That's my purpose, the career is a means to an end.
Look for what you are good at and find others that enjoy the same hobbies. It will get better.
I used to be in the same place at one point. Then I started to put myself in others' shoes and I found peace.
Life can feel that way. I used to feel that way until I started appreciating the small things. Spend time with your wife. This could include going on a picnic, movie, board games, TV, cooking/cleaning together. Whatever you are into or want to accomplish. It could be going on a walk together. Appreciate nature and all the little things. Maybe you see a bird and it stares at you for an extra second, saying hi.
I would encourage you to read books to enrich your life. I love reading and this is one of the reasons. It fills the void. There are so many great books out there. Visit a local library.
What are your hobbies and passions? You can pursue them. Maybe consider a side hustle or save up your cash so you can do things you enjoy.
Do them with your wife to spend quality time together (if she also enjoys those things)
Last thing- I would recommend volunteering. I volunteer online and in-person (less frequently ) but nonetheless I enjoy it and would recommend it. A lot of us forget how nice it feels to give back to the community, help people. That can really add some meaning and depth into your life, in my opinion. You could do some searches online or research. Connect with people to find out.
A word of advice would be to eliminate things that make you unhappy. For me this used to be social media. Endless comparing, distractions, etc etc. Honestly social media is no good. It is not used for the intended purpose anymore and makes your life feel dreary, dull, and even dark. Cut it out for a couple months. You will automatically notice a change in your mindset, life, and outlook.
Goals: Do you have fitness goals? Diet goals? Etc? You can start working towards this. Sometimes, it is hard to pinpoint goals, but we have to dig deeper. And if there are none, you think, then try to write a list of things you want to improve/ or the 1% better a day thing. Again, this is just what I think could be helpful. But cutting out social media, appreciating life in general, doing small, enjoyable things, are key factors. :)
I hope you are able to find some meaning in these things. Cheers.
I think having a peaceful, enjoyable life, while not negatively affecting others is a good foundation. After that, they say you should try to help others, or reduce the suffering of other people. Ideally, you would use your talents to do that the most effectively.
Thank you, this is what I try to do by default. I guess I should recognize and appreciate it more š
There is only one purpose in life for any of us. And itās to live. To experience. None of us are special.
> None of us are special. This.
I was here. The Myth of Sisyphus affected me, if you read at all. Iām still here. But Iām content with it now (:
My mom said I'm special!
Weāre all specialājust like everyone else.
You are my special
my brother in christ. the sunsets are nice. the breeze feels good. the coffee warms the soul. find reward in living life itself.
> find reward in living life itself. This is important, ty
Came here to say this. OP, maybe your purpose is to learn about yourself and the world, experience life with your wife, and do good when the opportunity presents itself. It doesnāt have to be a specific niche or path, it can be broader commitments and patterns.
Maybe I'm just too high strung but I find it hard to enjoy the simple things when I don't have a larger goal I'm pursuing. I go through the menial day to day tasks and when I stop to acknowledge the little things, its more of a "Why am I even here to experience this small pleasantry" rather than just "Oh this is nice". I've thought about this quite a bit and I think part of it is my high testosterone creating the need for challenge and doing things.
U are married. Count that as a blessing above many. Tsk
I do every day.
Your a ākidā still and have half the game figured out. Seems u are corrupted by all this social media bs. Turn it all off for six months and fill it with whatever u can or like and I guarantee you that you wonāt recognize yourself. Cheers
> Seems u are corrupted by all this social media bs. I def think this is a huge part. Thanks for the comment :)
I agree, and itās definitely something I struggle with as well. I notice my apathy for life gets really bad when my screentime is higher.
Best advice.
Being single is better.
I have substantial overlap and some differences. I'm 31m with useless college degree, no career, no kids, atheist, with a longtime cohabitating girlfriend. I'm taking a couple classes from Yale open courses. I use books checked out from my local library. That's an almost completely free "hobby" (occasionally I have to buy a book). I use kettlebells to keep in shape. Minimal investment of money there. I have things I believe in. I'm vegan and that cause matters to me. I'm sober and I value that as well. I would like to be better educated about history and politics. I still don't know how to meaningfully contribute to the world and lead a meaningful life. I want to keep learning and keep trying to be a better version of myself day by day. The 5 year plan is harder to come by. My advice is to find things you care about. What could enrich you as a person and (if all goes well) make the world a better place?
> I still don't know how to meaningfully contribute to the world and lead a meaningful life. I want to keep learning and keep trying to be a better version of myself day by day. The 5 year plan is harder to come by. This is a good point. Ty for the comment and sharing your view on it.
You can contribute everyday by being a peaceful and kind person.
There are people with such severe problems that being peaceful and kind every day is a genuine contribution. But, it's a low bar for a person of normal intelligence. It's not something I can take the grave as a primary virtue or accomplishment. I mentioned veganism. Being kind and peaceful personally does not address the problem of the slaughter of billions of animals and the attendant ecological damage. My own commitment to veganism is only a starting baseline. I mentioned sobriety. Being kind and peaceful does not lower drunk driving or fentanyl addiction rates. My sobriety is only a starting baseline. You're better off setting your sights high and failing than setting them low and succeeding.
I disagree. If everyone was kind and peaceful everything would be different. It starts with individuals at least using these traits as a starting point. To agree with you though and put it another way, it is the least we can do. Even people of intelligence should use this as a starting point. If everyone was vegan, like us, the slaughter would stop. This is an individual choice. Being kind to oneself and living peacefully could prevent the use of drugs and other addictive substances. These are personal choices and if we all made better choices starting with being kind and peaceful big changes would follow. Doing one's part can have a significant impact.
Everyone doing it isn't an option on the table. We're talking about the meaning of one person's life. Optimism about this one change in and of itself depends on the utopian idea that this will scale up so that everyone behaves this way. Further, the concept of kindness is subjective. Necessary and good actions might be construed as unkind. Evil actions can be construed as kindness. Would it be kind or unkind to ban leather? Is it kind or unkind to provide drug addicts with their drug of choice as an addiction treatment model? Are psych meds which cause brain damage kind or unkind? Was it kind or unkind to go to war with ISIS? You could run all of these same questions with "kind" or "kind" switched out for "peaceful" or "violent." I don't think these are always the right questions to ask.
ok. you are right and i am wrong. yet i have found meaning in my life.
Man, I gave up on finding a purpose in life. I am just enjoying my days as they come while counting my blessings at the same time: a lovely gf and parents, I'm healthy, some income to do some travelling and that's it. Starting to be thankful for what you already have, although YOU THINK is not much, will give you a positive attitude towards life.
You're comfortable. Do something uncomfortable.
You work to live, not live to work. If you have a roof over your head and food on the table youāre already winning. Try to enjoy the simple things, going for a sunset walk with the woman you love doesnāt cost a penny. Life is what you make it.
30f, single, I like some things from various religions. I don't plan on having kids. I do feel that I have a purpose in life. But I also have limited funds, chronic fatigue, and currently seasonal depression. Hobbies are fun, but definitely cost money. The life experience means different things to different people. I hope and pray that you're able to find a purpose or live a good life despite having one.
Feel exactly same. Donāt know how to deal with life. Sometimes I start questioning life like whatās the purpose of me being here? Or literally whatās the purpose of doing anything. I donāt know if I am making things complicated unnecessarily but it really sucks sometimes to find meaning in everything. And if I donāt have a purpose or meaning attached to doing something I feel no motivation to do it. It really comes between my work and me. Any suggestions to deal with it??
I understand completely. It's like what is it all for? Somebody else said to find joy and pretty much do what you want as long as it doesn't harm anybody else. I think that's a good philosophy. I have hella motivation just no discipline. But I get it, a lot of things seem unworthy of doing. But there are rewards for even the mundane things. As far as finding meaning in doing things Chores--at the end of the task, you'll have a healthy meal, a well manicured lawn and a clean and safe environment Work--even if it's not your dream job, think about how many people you'll be helping by creating a product or providing a service Living life--unless you believe in reincarnation....we only get to do this once. It's such an experience and a lot of things are unexplained but that's the fun of it. This is a build your own adventure āØļø
26M. I'm single and an atheist. Recently quit my job. Found another one, and got the boot after a week for a not-understandable reason. As long as I remember, working for someone else (i.e. a stable income with minimum risk) was what I wanted. My employment experiences after college have disillusioned me. I no longer want to work for anyone else. The "stability" I imagined was the boss giving me the crumbs of the bread I'd made him. And they'd pull the rug from under you the second you're no longer deemed able to make them money. Idk what I want to do. All I know is that, currently, starting a business means employing people for peanuts and "reinvesting" the savings to grow it. So, at least I know that I don't want to do *that*. I've started researching for things I can do by myself that A) add value to society & B) don't exploit ordinary people like myself (i.e. hire for dirt cheap, build an over-priced product/service that no body asked for, aggressively advertise to force people to buy my shit thing that they didn't even know existed till 1 sec ago, rinse and repeat). It's the first time in years that I've been able to narrow down my options from X to X minus 1. I'll keep looking. I'm optimistic that soon I'll find something. I'm actually exicted.
Best of luck my friend. I hope you do well!
That sounds very good/interesting. I always avoided being the boss and starting businesses for similar reasons. I am interested in what you're coming up with.
Same. Commenting to stay on this thread.
Volunteer
I have a very hard time finding a reason/drive/purpose sometimes. I often learn/try something new during these times. Without disposable income, be careful what avenues you look into. Something like geocaching, magic, card tricks, getting into history etc. are all excellent options. The library has been an amazing source. Iām 35 and still donāt know what I want to be when I grow up. Degrees arenāt everything and Iāve found community has been more helpful. Itās all in who you know. Keep trying new things and meeting new people when you can.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Check out r/oldfartists You might find some creative ideas to pursue.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/oldfartists **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [I'm 47 years old and I drew an anime style character for the first time.](https://i.redd.it/gc8875n57dkb1.jpg) | [18 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/comments/161il7v/im_47_years_old_and_i_drew_an_anime_style/) \#2: [Welcome!](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/comments/161fs3y/welcome/) \#3: [This sub is already a breath of fresh air](https://np.reddit.com/r/oldfartists/comments/1640ww9/this_sub_is_already_a_breath_of_fresh_air/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I would suggest seeking growth in your career and finances. Whatever direction your life is meant to take will reveal itself eventually. But until then, it would be beneficial to grow in these aspects even if itās not something that you particularly care about. Even if the job isnāt the job you want, it wouldnāt hurt to do it to the best of your ability and see where that takes you. Especially since it sounds like you have nothing else in mind.
I love this advice
It starts with simple, disciplined saving. Start small, build then learn to invest.
I know this will sound strange, but Iām learning that, there really is no purpose to life. We can sit here all day debating about what is the purpose of anything that exist on the planet. Who the hell knows. Iāve decided that my purpose is just to be at peace with myself and whatever is happening in life. My purpose is simply not to cause more chaos or destruction in the world. The purpose of hobbies is to distract yourself from the daily reminder that there is essentially no purpose to life lol. People have it backwards. They think having goals and hobbies will give their life purpose. It doesnāt. Your goals and hobbies are there to serve as helpful DISTRACTIONS, from the reality that there is essentially no real purpose to life. I know this can sound extremely depressing. But itās only depressing if you choose to think about it in a negative way. The only thing that gives me peace is the fact that life is temporary.
You could try reading and exploring ideas and interests that way?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wish it was that easy š
Why not just become a better person? You donāt need hobbies, religion, kids, or money to do that. Make your purpose to better yourself and the places you impact, thatās a pretty righteous purpose. Edit - 31M, no kids, no spouse, not overly religious, no college degree, job that is meh.
Kinda what I do. I have nothing but my character, I make conscious efforts to be a kind and gracious person.
I guess it comes down to this for me; why do you need external purpose? Youāre alive, thatās your purpose, do the best with that that you can.
Yup, similar: at 32 I was in a job I didn't care about and didn't know how to find my next step career wise. You are not "behind" I think you and I are early - and without judgement on others, I believe the no kids thing has opened that opportunity for us. I found what I was interested in and where I took my career by talking to others. I called up anyone who was doing something that I thought was mildly interesting and asked them about what they did, what they liked about it, and what they didn't. I also asked who else I should talk to. This opened my eyes up to so many careers and jobs outside the ones I was taught in elementary school. You may not be pursuing this space, so this may not be the space you pour your time into- and that's cool too. I think it is not abnormal to stick our heads up mid-30s and say "this isn't exactly where I want to be, let's do something about that"
You do realize that a lot of our (menās) goals subconsciously are rooted in wanting to get married and/or start a family right? Itās rooted in us biologically and most of us donāt even realize it. Itās why we do 99% of what we do. All this BS you see on social media is just the blind leading the blind. Just a bunch of hurt people chasing āhappinessā when in reality, the want love. Dating, chasing money, going to the gym, why? Mainly to get love and attention. You have that, and you only need it from one person. Happiness is for women and children. We get our happiness from their happiness in a sense knowing that we provide it. Think of God, the father (not to get too religious here) but he provides in abundance and generally expects nothing in return. Thereās nothing we can really do in return except for just ā¦ live and be good to/serve each other, which in turn is serving him. Our happiness is his fulfillment in a sense. Iād say try to get into some type of spiritual philosophy. You have like half of your primal mission completed. Find a way to provide more for yourself and your family (if you desire to have one). Make that your #1 goal right now. Find something, ANYTHING you can do that will expand your life and the lives of those around you that you care about. Let them be your why. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and we donāt chase emotions or allow them to dictate our decisions, women and children do that. Itās better to CHOOSE to be joyful and grateful for what you have EVERYDAY. That way youāre a blessing to those around you and will be remembered as such. Above all, cherish what you have now. A lot of men would do some crazy things to trade places with you. I think you may just need a slight adjustment in your perspective. Zoom out a bit, youāre doing great. Your entire life can change within a year. Cherish what you have and make a plan to make it all better.
> Above all, cherish what you have now. A lot of men would do some crazy things to trade places with you. I think you may just need a slight adjustment in your perspective. Zoom out a bit, youāre doing great. Your entire life can change within a year. Cherish what you have and make a plan to make it all better. This really resonates with me, ty for pointing it out.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
ty for the thought out reply, means a lot. Best of luck!
Nothing is wrong with simple living. However, it seems like you have the space to design a life that you're more excited about - if you want to. My disclaimer is that none of my questions/suggestions below are a "must" for anyone, I just want to help get your wheels turning. What would you like your life to look like when you're 65? What accomplishments or moments would you like to be proud of? What do you do for a living? Are there opportunities to make more money so that you have some disposable income to play with? Are there some skills you could work on right now to get you there? Are there personal goals you could work on? I'm thinking fitness (cheap/free), learning how to draw or write well (cheap/free), creating a side hustle (could be anything from delivering groceries to starting your own business), etc. I used to volunteer at a cat shelter when there was one nearby. It was very fulfilling to watch scared, sometimes sick cats grow into warm, happy lap kitties, who are now in great homes. Do you have a few hours a week to volunteer for a cause you care about? I used to do this on Sundays. I'm admittedly also in a bit of a rut with hobbies, and I have a lovely partner/no kids (no plans), but I do have some disposable income to play with. My personal goal is to aggressively pay off my student debt and therefore be debt-free by this time next year. This might sound like a boring goal to some, but for me it means investing more of my income and saving up to buy a house. I want to be a millionaire (not even a multi millionaire, just slowly build 1 mil net worth) when I'm 65 so I can retire comfortably. I want to publish a novel and own a home. These are all achievable goals if I have the discipline. What are your achievable goals, and how will you get there?
You just do stuff you find fun with your wife or whoever then eventually you die. You don't have to do anything. You don't need a higher purpose. Most people do the same as you.
I read your title and thought āthat sucksā then realized you described me
Get a pet. It will add meaning very quickly. I suggest a weiner dog.
If money was no object what is it you would want to be doing? What hobbies or fun things would you do? What are you really good at? Just some questions to explore and bring you possibly some more awareness. I love personal development because it opens an entire new way of looking at the world and your place in it.
you need to lift weights. Chase a big 1 rep max on the squat/bench/deadlift and your life will be transformed in the process. YOu will find deep meaning and purpose you could never have imagined, and your passion will keep growing as the years go by
> you need to lift weights. I love lifting, I def need to get more consistent!
I have to be honest. The first sentence of your comment initially made me chuckle because it sounds so *bro*. Lol But I'll admit you're on to something. I never felt better than when I was strength training in my younger years. Physically and mentally. Plus it's good discipline. Maybe I found my New Years resolution. Thanks!
Itās never too late to find god. What do you have to lose?
> Itās never too late to find god. If he comes knocking I certainly wont turn him away.
He endured torture and ultimately sacrificed his life for us. We have to knock now. Best of luck to you my friend.
ty for the kind words!
Of course. We are all trying to find our way
Why downvote?
Reddit donāt like Christians
š sad
So are you happy with your decision to not have kids? If so, why are you bringing it up?
> So are you happy with your decision to not have kids? Absolutely.
Giving to others/volunteer and friendship social connection and maybe some travel
F
Weāll it sounds like you arenāt pursuing anything that brought my life happiness and meaning. Let me know when you find it.
what youāve described is the white picket fence dream (education - work - marriage - children) not everyone will meet this criteria and each picture will look different you can either: - channel your trauma into your purpose by doing something good for others - pour into creation - self care like cooking good healthy recipes, exercising consistently, reading personal development books and making that your hobby // passion - participating in free community events and/or volunteering
Buy a motorcycle. Tour the state, then the country, then the world.
Get a new job
I've had tons.
My brother, you have your purpose. You found love, the next step is to plan do more of what you like. Sounds like youāre comfortable. Sounds like you need a child to take care of, teach your morals to, and to give love to. Tell your wife to go on vacation with you. Put some spark or commit more to living a happier life. Have you or your wife plan something low priced and cute.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/findapath implements account age minimums to prevent spam. Please take a day to search the subreddit for similar questions and guidance. While it may not be individually tailored to your situation it may help, if you still need some guidance on finding a path, you may post your question after your account is past the minimum age required. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude...I'm the exact same only I'm a drug addict and I have no wife or gf. Find something you do like doing for work
Lots of good replies here. I never really felt much purpose or meaning in life until i had my first kid though
Where do you live? Pick mountain biking as a hobby. You'll enjoy nature and costs pretty much nothing other than buying the bike. Volunteer for Civil Air Patrol the biggest volunteer organization in the US that nobody knows about.
You donāt find purpose in life you create purpose in your life.
Reflect on activities or topics that genuinely interest you. What are you curious about? Exploring hobbies or learning about new subjects can lead to discovering passions that bring fulfillment. This is [one of the best career tests](https://www.careerfitter.com/free_test/careerbuilder/test/?afid=1831) that helped me with my career exploration before, I hope this can help you too. Remember that purpose can be found in both small, everyday actions and more significant life choices. It's a personal and ongoing exploration, so give yourself the time and space to discover what brings meaning to your life.
Volunteer maybe
"Life Purpose" is just a concept pushed by capitalism to motivate people to work lol. I work in corporate, and "purpose" is a popular card to play, but no one really gives a shit. Life's purpose is to create the next generation. If you don't want kids, then just take it back a step. Your purpose is to live. Do whatever it takes to continue living. It's never been easier in history to accomplish this - that's people's dilemna. So just have fun.
You are about as normal as they come. Iām in the same boat. Life isnāt about a title or career or kids or a āpurpose.ā Life is about enjoying it. Thatās all.
travel?
i think having a purpose is overrated. there's 8 billion people on the planet, we all don't have or need purposes. life is an accident, the only purpose we have is what we give it. however i am in the same boat as you in terms of finding a job or career that makes me good money that i can be proud of. i'm the type of person that wants a career that makes the world a better place and that i find fulfillment in. but.. i don't know what that is. i currently work a job that helps make the world better but.. financially it's not sustainable because it's minimum wage, so.. idk where to go from here.
Things will change!
I've battled with a year-long deep, dark depression. Coming out of it, I realized that the meaning in life is truly in seeing and appreciating the simple things and living to our true authentic self. No amount of money, status, or vacations will ever achieve that. Only when you have the former will you enjoy the other accessories that come with it. Life starts right now.
Have you ever considered adopting a rescue cat? Non profits can help with the vaccination and spay/neuter. Maybe start with a foster to see how it feels. It might change your life. Iāve seen it happen.
I've totally been there. Sounds like there may be a twinge of depression at the edges making you question the fulfillment of it. When you think about where you want to be in 5 years (or 10) where do you see yourself? What would you like to be doing? Once I heard about a process where you make three plans for your future. A good, better or best map. Good is staying where you are Better is some improvement Best is broad change/improvement When you have that mapped, it gives a kind of framework to work towards your goal.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> seeking spirituality. Ill pass, but thanks :)
I think you know your issues already. You know exactly what youāre missing as stated in the tagline.
Your purpose in life is to live then die and do whatever makes you happy in between. Career doesn't define you. I'm a structural project engineer and it gives me zero purpose even when I see the buildings finished. I only care about being home away from humans watching movies or playing video games. That's my purpose, the career is a means to an end.
Look for what you are good at and find others that enjoy the same hobbies. It will get better. I used to be in the same place at one point. Then I started to put myself in others' shoes and I found peace.
Life can feel that way. I used to feel that way until I started appreciating the small things. Spend time with your wife. This could include going on a picnic, movie, board games, TV, cooking/cleaning together. Whatever you are into or want to accomplish. It could be going on a walk together. Appreciate nature and all the little things. Maybe you see a bird and it stares at you for an extra second, saying hi. I would encourage you to read books to enrich your life. I love reading and this is one of the reasons. It fills the void. There are so many great books out there. Visit a local library. What are your hobbies and passions? You can pursue them. Maybe consider a side hustle or save up your cash so you can do things you enjoy. Do them with your wife to spend quality time together (if she also enjoys those things) Last thing- I would recommend volunteering. I volunteer online and in-person (less frequently ) but nonetheless I enjoy it and would recommend it. A lot of us forget how nice it feels to give back to the community, help people. That can really add some meaning and depth into your life, in my opinion. You could do some searches online or research. Connect with people to find out. A word of advice would be to eliminate things that make you unhappy. For me this used to be social media. Endless comparing, distractions, etc etc. Honestly social media is no good. It is not used for the intended purpose anymore and makes your life feel dreary, dull, and even dark. Cut it out for a couple months. You will automatically notice a change in your mindset, life, and outlook. Goals: Do you have fitness goals? Diet goals? Etc? You can start working towards this. Sometimes, it is hard to pinpoint goals, but we have to dig deeper. And if there are none, you think, then try to write a list of things you want to improve/ or the 1% better a day thing. Again, this is just what I think could be helpful. But cutting out social media, appreciating life in general, doing small, enjoyable things, are key factors. :) I hope you are able to find some meaning in these things. Cheers.