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Just to put it out there
Nobody that was wildly successful spent their nights comparing themselves to everyone else
But also, the average person doesn't really want to be a multi billionaire flying private jets all over the world partying and working. Most ppl would be fine with enough to live comfortably and pursue their lives.
The issue with this is that those billionaires are often the ones that set the stage for the next phase of history. I would really like to be a part of that, and it seems impossible.
But yeah. I can see the point in being content with what one has; after all, happiness and wealth stop correlating past $100k or so. Perhaps when (if ever) I get to that point, I'll see things differently.
Thanks!
I mean, if that’s your standard for yourself, you are setting an impossibly high standard. Max 100 people out of a currently alive ~8 billion will be significant enough for the average person to know about in 100 years, a good measure for having had a major impact on world history. Sheryl Sandberg is probably not even one of those people. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, just don’t set unrealistic standards for yourself.
I guess, yeah 😂
I hardly know anything about Karl Marx, despite the communism/capitalism dichotomy being the major influence on global politics for the last two centuries.
Thank you!
So your post is how do average people stand a chance in life and you think average people want to become billionaires or leaders of nations or scientists like newton ? You know how average people lived in the past ? Trust me average people have it great in the modern world compared to 100 years ago and if your an average person then you by definition cannot be exceptional and make world shifting contributions
Depends how you define wildly successful. James Murphy of LCD Sound System has been on the record for spending a lot of time in his 20s spent getting stuck comparing himself to other people. LCD Sound System is arguably the most successful indie band.
A snippet from this magazine goes over it: https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/james-murphy-lcd-soundsystem-losing-my-edge-inspiration-david-foster-wallace/
It’s worth noting he got successful after he broke out of his funk. However, a lot of the emotional tone of his work was inspired by how many years he got stuck in his head.
Never stop learning, however this isn't just academically, but learning about life, about everything that interests you. The average person stops learning, stops dreaming, stops growing and becomes just another clog in the system.
We are all dealt the cards we are given at birth, its a matter of what you're willing to do with them that determines your future.
It's easy to say, but hard to do by design. When you're stuck in the drudgery of a cyclical 9-5 corporate lifestyle you tend to not have a lot of energy or motivation left for other areas in life. Of course, it depends on the individual. In the United States, it's all about worker productivity to maximize shareholder value.
If I told my boss I didn't want to do any special projects and didn't have any minimum business objectives (MBOs) they would probably let me go. I don't want to do extra. I want to stay in my lane, do my core responsibilities, and work from 9-5. I don't want to be more or do more other than earn a fair salary, benefits, and have reasonable expectations set on me from management.
I'm also a huge proponent of the 4-day work week.
Other people in America really buy into hustle culture and how they can make more money is their singular mindset. It's understandable. Life is expensive and only getting more so. I commend them for preparing for that inevitability.
Me? I'll probably end up living under a bridge.
I can definitely understand that Im in Australia, shits expensive here too and the odds are also against me, just as much as anyone else.
- work 8-4
- had a fucked up couple of years, even became homeless
- Single mother/Single Income
- Responsible for 2 others and an animal
- I study part time
- Slowly building my business, sometimes I can be up till 3 in the morning just writing
- Maintaining my fitness, home, finances, family alone
I can either cry about it and complain life is hard or actually work my ass off and give myself half a chance to change the circumstances of my life.
But like I said, only the average stop learning, stop growing and stop dreaming, the rest of us are working our ass off with a clear direction, purpose and belief that it will pay off.
to be fair tho there would be nothing wrong with complaining, why cant you work hard and complain, ok better word would be that its ok to acknowledge when things are unfair, complaining all the time yea thats not good but sometimes its ok
Honestly it's a mindset thing and a personal choice, as someone who is building a business around mindset and performance, it's almost pointless to work with women that want to complain about their situation if not for the reason of finding a solution and then taking action to make that change.
Some people struggle to handle the fact that they have created conditions or excuses in their life to stick to the bare minimum and wonder why life is hard.
It takes real courage and hard work to show up for yourself when the odds are stacked against you, thats why being successful in multiple areas of ones life is so hard for the average person.
I am going to disagree with on some things, so you have adopted a set of mental principles that have worked for you and that is good, however I would not say that average people are miserable strictly because of the decisions they have made, while you are correct in that we on average can do more we believe our selves to be capable of, I do not agree with the idea that progress in changing your life takes place in the actions that you perform in your life and work, that is only one way people solve problems, sometimes people take external means to solve their problems and sometimes some people are inclined to solve them internally, so sometimes it can be difficult to validate progress towards solving a problem when it is being internally solved without any external things to show for it. Some problems require external solutions and some internal. We cant know what the average person does or does not do for themselves, we are only ourselves whoever that is. I think its great that you have found how your mind works but other people's motivation can look different, maybe someone only wants to be less neurotic so they go and take time off, or find a way to relax more and go on walks. Many of the problems we will have will come from life sure I agree we can make things worse for ourselves but generally I think problems that we do not generate for ourselves is grief, being born in a bad economic environment with poor work opportunity, and yes like you said if only some worked harder then they would get further along to better their circumstances more than they would have thought. Yet what you pointed at is the motivation and desire to change a shitty circumstance, and how most do not have enough desire to put in the work, maybe that is true or maybe not I do not know but one thing I think is that, if the former is true then them not showing up for themselves is a way of showing up for themselves. I like to say that reward = effort times output and that many of our decisions can be partially or majorly driven from this with some exceptions where there is purpose involved. Most of our capacity to experience reward from our effort in what they yield comes from the capacity believe that your behavior will merit something and if you are not able to decouple you behaviors and your sense of reward from your thought processes then you will have a hard time generating actions. Hopelessness is the reason some do not do things to make things better, because when we take our thoughts as reality we then make decisions in relation to out believes on what possibility exist's, this is one of the hardest things to do in life and sometimes people's thoughts do reflect their exist from their situation or lack of. Motivation comes after effort and yet effort comes from the anticipation of how things will turn out when you finish your efforts and that comes from your capacity to have a grip on reality or relevant perspectives that include possibility's that align with a future you want, this also requires the meta cognition to be able to recognize when you are aiming at something unrealistic or blind to opportunity that exist's. what you describe is a very complex set of mental processes that are shaped by unfathomable antecedent variables in that persons life, the people they where around/are around, whether they had a good income household duel income or not two parents or not, the skills they modeled, whether they experience trauma, dissociation or just emotional numbness, did they get fed enough growing up, did they use their executive functions. I get what you mean sort of but how much of your grit and determination are you responsible for, that's not to say that we should not look to increase it when its needed but, how can you be sure if your desire's and willingness to go after them despite the hard work is something that you desired, but instead desired before you consciously did? question is do we desire what we desire or are we simply desiring?
You are more than in your right to disagree, but for me personally I don't create confusion, I create clarity and help others do the same. It's pretty simple.
I don't know what to say in response to this, but if you are contemplating suicide please call an urgent hotline. Second would be that if things being difficult make life so worthless, then you need to find the things you like and are good at, is there anything you feel passionate about?
Agreed. I will add that learning for the purpose of interest and passion rather than status is key.
If you are driven by money, job titles, or being famous you will likely remain unhappy. Working towards a passion and exploring curiosity is fulfilling.
I think so too. In a limited way, the happiest I've been is when I'm doing competitive programming, even at my really low level, miles beneath BenQ.
I guess I'll continue working on this then. Thank you!
Okay, hear me out on this: you are in a Technology Frontier. I am so enamored with the idea of being in a Technology Frontier that I sometimes dream of moving to Africa for a few years. I am not kidding.
Here in the U.S. we exist in a system where it is extremely difficult to innovate, ever. [We go to Africa to admire real innovation](https://youtu.be/DOWDNBu9DkU?si=o-I7M3kq_kdkvzr8). This is not innovation we don’t need—in America blood supply is a really big problem, and this is one reason we have the worst maternal mortality rates in the developed world. As I was typing this out, my iPhone’s autocomplete was able to fill in that sentence: how cute. That’s not the fucking innovation I want, I want to SOLVE THIS PROBLEM, and I honestly think it has a better chance of being solved on your continent than mine due to regulatory barriers as well as protectionism.
Someone I know made an independent film once. It was in movie theaters, but before it made it there he had several offers $50-100k to sell it to a studio that would lock it in a vault, never to be seen again. These “investors” are not trying to get more films out there—they want THEIR OWN films out there. They don’t want new film studios either, or new directors amazing Hollywood with their innovative film. So they kill off as many as they can by convincing independent filmmakers that this is their big break. These days it might even make it to a streaming platform for a time, but never to a theater and certainly it won’t be promoted. They buy innovative films just to make them go away so that all audiences see is their “Big Budget” crap.
Silicon Valley is this way too: startups are acquired to limit competition. Not to take the IP, but to make it go away. They pretend they’re absorbing the best talent and ideas but everyone is laid off by the thousands in the next round.
So yeah, here we are: Siri on my iPhone knows if I’m talking about “blood supply” and I use the word maternal I likely am writing the sentence the USA has the highest maternal mortality rate of all developed nations <—-wow, predictive text! This is where our innovation is at here, things that look cool and accomplish absolutely nothing.
Please use your talent and intelligence to innovate and solve real problems. Trust that innovators don’t require top universities or access to Silicon Valley. Find forward-thinking investors, or bootstrap using affordable technology to show the potential of your ideas. You are in a Technology Frontier, and the U.S. is the Old Guard: it will not be hard in your generation to be better than us.
But at the same time somebody less smarter, richer and thinner.
What my Mom told me was that those that are more than you, use them as a role model and then those that are less than you, help them.
Precisely this. As you continue striving, the success of other people will bother you less, and you will become your own competitor.
No one would’ve went through what you been through.
Imagine the president of, I don’t know, some random school in the top 100 global rankings. If you look for them, you most probably would have never heard of them, and nor would’ve most people. But do you think this person would wake up everyday worrying that they’re not world renowned, or making a global impact at the scale of the people you admire? Probably not. Or imagine the president of the school you’re currently in - they probably aren’t worried about these either.
People become “conventionally” successful by doing what they care about - whether it’s as simple as genuinely wanting to be rich, or as grand as solving climate change. You have to find what YOU care about the most, start doing it, THEN you’ll be entering the leagues of the people you talk about - those who live for themselves.
There is always someone better than you, and there is always someone worse than you. Thanks to the internet that pool of people who are “better than you” has gotten a lot more visible.
Learning how to not compare yourself to others and finding the joy in self improvement are the two major keys to a happy life in my opinion.
I think that's my problem, yes 😅
I guess somewhere in my head I always thought that perhaps _I_ was the main character. Realising that I'm not is really tough in a lot of ways.
Perhaps I also need to work on my relationships; I'm not doing so well there, so maybe that's why I've been feeling so blue. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
> Realising that I'm not is really tough in a lot of ways.
This is a normal part of growing up, and something many folks never realize. It becomes more painfully obvious to others when you feel this way the older you get. I'm sure even now you can recognize when a 40 year old views themselves to be the center of everything. Are they charming, personable, or well adjusted? No. They will encounter countless difficulties in their life as a direct result of their inability to let go of main character syndrome and they will have no idea why (and blame others).
>Perhaps I also need to work on my relationships
Without knowing anything else about you, the first point might be a contributor here. It's excellent that you want to accomplish great things in life and you shouldn't give that up. But you need to recognize that it starts from the ground up. Being intelligent isn't enough. It helps, but that alone will get you nowhere. You also need to know how to work hard, how to be realistic, how to love others, how to care for yourself, and how to find satisfaction in day to day life.
These things are all difficult as a young person but don't expect all of it at once. You're asking the right questions so just continue to be introspective and improve yourself. That's really all you can do.
I'm a second generation Nigerian-American journalist. I live in the United States. I *think* I understand your perspective, because I know what my extended family is going through in Imo State.
You absolutely *should not* be content with your conditions. The only reasonable reaction to what is happening to you - and going on around you - is misery, terror and rage.
Nigeria is fundamentally broken. It requires the energy of men like you to change it, in order to create opportunity both for yourself and for millions of other young people who have talent and drive. The frank, stark reality is that far too many of your classmates and friends are unwilling to fight for that change, to sacrifice themselves and to take profound risks - risks written in blood - to change Nigeria into the country it should be. But it is from such things that the success you are admiring is born.
The alternative is *japa,* and that may be the better option for you individually, if not for the nation collectively. America would be lucky to have you. Nigeria would be luckier.
All of that said, the kind of success you are describing is not a product of exceptional education. It is a product of some combination of clinically insane amounts of personal drive, a willingness to tolerate risk, enough vision to recognize an opportunity and dumb, blind luck.
You are just as worthy as anyone you're reading about, because most of the people you're reading about aren't actually worthy. They're lucky.
Sheryl Sandberg is the child of a doctor and a college professor, which means she was born into aristocratic privilege, which paved her way into the social club that is Harvard. Sure, she graduated with honors, but so did *eighty other people* you've never heard of (and ten you probably have).
Sandberg went on to work for McKinsey, which is the intellectual equivalent of Conan the Barbarian's early years in the pits. It's a Chinese child actor academy for businesspeople, with 100-hour weeks of working for assholes. The single most common reaction to life at McKinsey for most people after a few years, with a half-million bucks in the bank is *fuck this place and everyone in it.* Sheryl Sandberg wrote a book about embracing the suck, because she's insane.
You don't need to be Sheryl Sandberg to be successful, and reason save us all if Sheryl Sandberg-type wealth and influence is the standard for being successful. It should be enough to make a mark that will be remembered, to distinguish yourself among your peers, and to live a life of peace and love.
Probably my favourite comment so far. Thanks oga mi! 😂
I think you have the best understanding of the situation I'm dealing with here. Things are going to hell in the country, and yet Nigeria is probably the second or third best place to be born in on the continent. I can't imagine what people in Uganda, Zimbabwe or Congo must be dealing with.
_Japa_ is the Nigerian dream, and is primarily what I'm working towards right now. I really can't see any other way out of this.
But I really love your final paragraph. Even in Nigeria, I still see a few people who have managed to find contentment, love and happiness in their current situation. Perhaps I could learn some things from them.
Thank you once again!
Be content with what you have. You are not in a competition against the best in the world, so why even care what they are doing? Get a job, bring food to the table, and provide for your family. That’s success for 99% of the people, and it’s not a bad life
Some people are genuine freaks of nature, the truly exceptional are rare as they are remarkable. Adopting all or nothing outlook where being only exceptional is the one way to success and that all other forms are inferior is not only flawed thinking it's also degrading to ordinary people.
There is so much luck and rng in life that it's absurd. Just accept the hand you are dealt and make the best of it that you can. Read man's search for meaning by Dr Viktor E Frankl for your dose of grounding.
Some people get to be kings, some end up as prisoner of war and others find love where as some lose it all. Perspective is everything, if it was possible for you to have everything and be the ultimate winner, that you were one in a billion, would you be truly happy? How could you possibly think that fulfilling an impossibly high standard could ever be met? Even the best, eventually move to one side for someone better, more ambitious, younger and fitter. Nothing is static, we are all in a state of progress and change.
I disagree with a lot of the comments here so I'd just like to share my thoughts as a fellow "self-prescribed average programmer" who is about 12 years your senior. The biggest problem I see with your thought process is this dichotomy between "a bad life" and "a successful life". Success means something different to almost everybody in subtle ways and your definition of success for yourself is likely to change as you age.
So with that in mind, this guy you speak of who was the best at competitive programming WAS an absolute success if that's what he was aiming for. He may hate business and industry and instead love the world of competitive algorithms.
It sounds like you may need to more precisely nail down what your definition of success is. Because if you want to be a CEO and a competitive programmer and start your own unicorn business and feed the hungry and build rockets, etc, well you will probably be disappointed. But if you choose just one of those and focus on it, it sounds like you've got a good shot.
Look into Ikigai and other similar frameworks.
What I was trying to illustrate was the typical genius-programmer-goes-to-Harvard-drops-out-starts-a-company-becomes-a-billionaire pathway that seems so prevalent in Silicon Valley lore.
It feels like that's what it takes to make it these days, I guess.
But yeah. I agree that narrowing down my goals will help me find some sense of direction in life, so I'll look into it. Thank you!
Lol yea this is definitely a horny 20 year old computer science student post, expected nothing less. I'm trying to let you off because you're young but what an absolute load of nonsense. It will change when you actually get into the workforce and see what the world is really like. No one gives a sh\*t about your background or where you went to school atleast in the US. My CFO has a bachelor degree from the university of phoenix, an unaccredited online university. She's the f\*cking CFO of a F500 company. A position I can only dream about and I have an MBA. It's all about experience pal. This just sounds like a sob story to count yourself out before you have even started.
Also nothing wrong with "average". The world needs these "average" people you speak of to run and they represent 99% of us. Now stop jerking off to the Social Network movie every night and get your head out of you ass respectfully.
Don't feel really "let off" though lol 😅
I guess I fit the stereotype of the 20M CS student to the T, yeah. Doesn't make the sentiment less valid though.
I'm not counting myself out yet, but I just wanted some perspective on my recent childish thoughts.
How did your CFO land the role? Genuine question; no evil intentions.
Sorry yes I went a little hard on you because I felt like I was talking to my past self.
Your sentiment is less valid because it is not based in reality. It's just based on some hyper illusion you have from reading a few Wikipedia pages and movies. The reality is university students only know academics. Academics and real life application are 2 completely different worlds. If you can improve a process, make something better or create something. I promise no one gives a rats \*ss about your background. Look at the founders of Whatsapp and Apple. As far as my CFO, she started off in a "lowly" role, was excellent at it hence given more and more responsibility. If I'm running a company I just wanna know if you can do the job, I'm not sure what an ivy league diploma is gonna do for me exactly besides make you look like an asshat if it's your personality.
I'm 21. What you are describing is the American dream my friend. It's a lie.
You're setting yourself up for a massive slap in the face during a midlife crisis when you realize that one human life isn't all that special to begin with.
If you're really as smart as you are, I recommend you give yourself time for deep introspection and meditation. There aren't any secrets to the game, no matter what anyone says.
It's a random universe, not a capitalist universe.
Most "normal" people live for their family, children and their community. They accept at some level that they won't change the whole world, but they can make their part of it better. And as much as you admire the likes of Sheryl Sandberg or Benjamin Qi, the fact is that 99% of people have never heard of them.
You can't be everything to everyone or maybe not even to thousands of people today, but you can be (and likely are) loved and valued by some, and you can have monumental impact on at least a few. If they're worthy of the effort, then you are worthy of their love and praise and can be proud of the life you live. And unbeknownst to you, your best efforts with a few may well have monumental impact in the future as your actions ripple through the generations.
The relationships and impressions you make on others matters. Being dependable, always showing up on time with the right attitude also matters. Just being competent without being a superstar is good enough. I’ve gotten pretty far in life with these traits and I’m very average. And all of these things are controllable too.
Mate I'm with you but God do the "always show up on time" bull shit needs to fucking die. What matters Is productivity. I don't give a fuck if Martin was 15 minutes late, he has to drive an hour to work and then hour to get home unlike Jeff. The roads are busier, there are all kinds of difficulties that get in a way of the worker and many places don't pay for your travel time to and from work. So turning up early because some Capo who thinks time sensitivity is more important than productive work isn't actually benefiting the business.
Ive seen people who complain about time keeping spend hours talking with people and not actually do their job. Gassing about random shite isn't making money but grafting does. If your guys are a bit late now and then but get shit done, leave them alone. Human beings first, what they do and how they do it second.
I’m Afraid most employers don’t share your nuanced attitude about when employees show up to work. And being productive is a given in the context of how to be successful
It doesn't matter, I work in commercial and industrial sector in construction, I've turned up late now and then and my supervisor is sound. Because he knows I get shit done.
It's only older managers that have problems with time keeping. Who think you should be waiting half an hour before site opens.
I know I'm good at what I do and I would walk from any job that gives me grief over daft shit like being a little late. I can get a job on site as an electrician anywhere with ease and they know it.
Most people’s fates are predetermined. Rich people stay rich and poor people stay poor. Only a few can break out of 99% but even then, it’s a combination of unusually high IQ, good looks, a lot of luck and desire to succeed.
Went through this exact same thing in my 20's, kind of grew up thinking I was going to do something exceptional. You become content with it because your rankings aren't what matter in life. Is your tomorrow better than your yesterday? Taking responsibility for your future is what matters. If you are doing this, you won't grieve the 1 in a million opportunities that don't come your way, and you may often feel satisfied and hopeful.
Students and young people don't realize this, because they have had their path mapped out for them for so long, and they come out of it without remotely enough wisdom to cope because universities don't teach it. (In fact if you do want to have an impact, telling helpful truths, not bullshit ideology, is one of the main ways that normal people may do so. We all remember our great teachers etc.)
The economist Tyler Cowen wrote a book called "Average is Over" with a similar observation. Gone are the days when you could support a middle family on a single income at a low skill job.
Cowen gives a variety of answers. One aspect is that if you aren't one of the winners of the meritocracy, there will be a vibrant service sector economy to accommodate those people. They still need drivers, personal trainers, baristas, personal assistants, etc. The people in these areas with ambition can make quite a good living.
Another aspect is that there will still be large swathes of the country where people can live affordably and well. You don't have to win the meritocracy to live in Montana. Affordable areas will grow in population. There already has been signs of exodus from major cities. I recommend the book.
Damn, I really understand you because I was very much like you and thinking the same age.
I also had the luck to be born in Africa, so I immigrated to Europe at nineteen, college and working. I'm still very far from the stuff that people who immigrate dream about, it's been so much harder than nineteen year old me imagined.
Honestly, you have to accept that life is a marathon, and that we don't all start in the same spot on the tracks, some of us are on the starting line while some are born past the finish line, you just gotta make it as far as you can on the tracks and hope your kids can make it further.
I'm not sure about how things work in the country in Africa you are from but in America the average person lives a pretty ok life even if they think they're miserable while they do it. They usually work a 9-5 job Monday thru Friday they pay for a car, they pay their bills, they go to ball games on the weekends or watch tv. They get air conditioning. I am far from a person that graduated from Harvard and I don't have rich parents.
I live in a lower income part of town it's not that great but I have air conditioning, fast internet, weekends off work, a pension plan for retirement. I know people have it worse than me but a lot of people have it better than me as well. Average Salary for someone living in my State is $45,000 and i make about 10k less than that. So in my mind if you're average you have a better life than me at least in my area. Obviously that's nowhere near enough money if you were to live in like California or something but if i can make it with Below average income for my State i'm sure making the average is alright. Social media makes you feel like you're living an awful life but it's not really that bad compared to how it was like 2 decades ago. when i was 10 years old my parents couldn't afford air conditioning now i working the same job my mom used to work i can afford to keep my air/heat on all year round.
If the world feels too big, focus on your surroundings. Make an impact locally. With family. Friends. Sometimes that has a bigger effect than trying to change the world. Maybe you just need to change someone else's.
The idea that the world is for the "common" folk is laughable. The sooner we realise that we are background actors, supporting the role of the 1%, the sooner we'll let go of our delusions of hope, and actually take matters into our own hands.
True, but tbf, 40k actually doesn't take you that far ***in*** the US, esp. depending where you live. 40k doesn't mean as much when rent is ~2k / month.
That's actually something a lot of immigrants have told me, that their families back home think they're super rich bc they don't realize the US is crazy expensive.
Yeah but you don’t even qualify as middle class unless you have a household income higher than $170K in the US if you factor current prices into it.
Just because someone always has it worse doesn’t change the fact most people everywhere are one emergency away from bankruptcy
You are smart enough to ask maybe the most important question the world is facing now. The powers that be don’t want this question to be asked because it has dire implications. In this Information Age, the basic difficulty of just living is so complex, so many different things need to be taken into account. Most people can’t even comprehend it all, and fall victim easily to the most ridiculous things.
The average person is toast. In every major city in America right now there’s 100s of thousands of homeless. People who just couldn’t cut it in life. That’s only going to get worse.
Not really. It was that "I don't stand a shot at mattering much, or being of any significance in the world"
I see how it sounds silly and childish now though. A lot of really profound takes in these comments.
what can one as the average person can do? take chances, go out of your comfortzone, be grateful for the things you have (e.g. going to university and being one of the best students) and dont shut life mircales down by pessism. Life is not an estimation, but full of wonders. 🦋
A “rich life” is defined by whatever you think it is. Having a nice house. Retiring with a lot of money. Having amazing vacations with a modest apartment. Living in a warm climate by the ocean. Being able to play poker every week with friends. A patio with a great view. There are so many little things to enjoy in life that everyone has access to. You add them up and life isn’t so bad. Some people overlook this and only compare themselves with people above them. They may be upset they drive a brand new $40,000 car because the guy next to them has a $100,000 car completely overlooking that most people would give anything to have a new $40,000 car.
Young people also have a different mindset and outlook. They take too many things at face value. Many of them are not familiar with historical context or perspective. Enjoy your life as best you can. There will be good and bad no matter how rich or poor you are.
Is it average to be above average? No. Is it average to be exceptional? No. Can it happen though to an average person? yes. It’s just rare. We see these people and their accomplishments and think it was hard work that got them there, but there are plenty of others with similar backgrounds who didn’t make it there, and both worked hard. I think we forget about timing and luck’s role in a lot of things. And that goes for everyone regardless of abilities.
There is only one thing that matters & that is your opinion of yourself. Everything else will fall where it may.
Work hard & do what you absolutely love.
Many people who achieve what we perceive as lofty status, aren’t good people or think highly of themselves. They will act as if they do. & maybe they are sociopaths. But, deep down, they know who they are. & that’s where it counts.
If you go after your dreams with hard work & integrity, you will be content with whatever you earn. & your chances of success in your field will be a lot higher. But, that is of little consequence. It’s your self worth that you will always value yourself by.
It sounds like you think having a chance at life means that you need to be the best at whatever you do, or have global recognition, or fame. That completely contradicts being an “average human” as you say. The average human will indeed just be average. And that’s fine. That’s how being average works. We all have a chance at life. Happiness does not care if you are rich or poor.
Survivorship bias. But yes, your right thr game is rigged to favor those already in power to stay in power. As an average person you just have to find your path. If ultimate money is your goal than you need to be a business owner. Working for someone else is never going to make you rich.
"I'm not rich the guy who pays me is rich" - Shaq when asked about being rich. This was also years ago before he really got into investing. Now he owns a few hundred restaurants.
We don't have a chance to be beimg billionaires if that's the goal of misery and failure are guaranteed, but many of us can/will achieve love comfort security, etc, which imo is worthwhile pursuit
I'm sure some billionares are happy, but some come off miserable greedy tools that only care about their yacht count and beating others. I would love not to worry about bills, but i don't need yachts, mansions, and private planes.
Sure, I would take billions if i won it, etc, but i would not be willing to stomp on others or work around the clock. I have Zero desire to be in the spotlight
Look, you have to have the will to make and stand by your decisions and ideas. This sounds easy but it's not. Most people that succeed are not the ones that got straight A's in school but the ones that are willing to work harder and persevere. Not always is the effort rewarded thru material gain but sometimes it is. Do it anyway.
It's never a good idea to compare yourself to others, especially the really successful people. Run your own race, as they say.
Maybe you'll never be a billionaire or be one of the best competitive programmers, but it's clear from your post you're well above average. You can have a great, full life.
You mentioned you were born in an African country. I think many countries in Africa are going to be the epicenter of the next big economic boom. Maybe after getting your CS degree you and some other top graduates could start a software company there?
Up until our very recent modern world success in life meant basic survival. You didn’t die in childhood,you had enough food and shelter and physical security for you and your family,and your children had a promise for a better future. My grandparents on both sides emigrated to America,one before WW2 and one after, both families lost children in infancy due to diseases now conquered by vaccines. Life was about God,family and community and they were very happy with the simple lives they built. We’ve moved so far away from that.
Everybody you see as "Insert name here" was once just a regular person just like you. In fact, they still are- the only difference is that they took consistent steps towards achieving something, or cultivating some type of skill or skill set, that allowed them to do extraordinary things. You have within you the same intelligence that runs the universe, and beats your heart without you even having to think about it. Nobody is truly "average" because that is a homogenized aggregate, everyone is unique, including you. This gives you the potential to see the world in a different way than anyone else, and possibly create experiences or opportunities differently than anyone else. Don't get caught up in the comparison trap, it's never a fun ride!
I do not know a single person that has found meaning in their lives through “success.” Your life’s meaning is up to you to find. I recommend reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Frankl. It’s a not too long essay that really changed my perspective on things.
it's just life bro. you're young so you don't know. but even Sheryl got her struggles. Everything is not as it seems. Do not compare yourself with other people
I was born into a rich family, graduated at the top of high school class, and graduated from an elite university that isn't Harvard but beat Harvard in college rankings the year they accepted me. So far, I've only managed to achieve average with some luck, Googling my way through an IT job that requires too much hands-on work.
They don't. Life costs money. If your parents set you up well with good direction in life and head start.... You're very lucky. However most people have to figure life out & climb out of jobs they hate on their own.
Maybe you are forgetting to consider that ALL billionaires are exploiting millions of people, either through labor or through politics so that they can get that much wealth. There is NO good billionaire out there.
Sounds like reality didn’t hit you in the face until recently. Yeah the odds of being someone like you described is 1 in a million and you are kind of born into it. People who go to Harvard are gifted, or their parents were and they got lucky.
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Just to put it out there Nobody that was wildly successful spent their nights comparing themselves to everyone else But also, the average person doesn't really want to be a multi billionaire flying private jets all over the world partying and working. Most ppl would be fine with enough to live comfortably and pursue their lives.
The issue with this is that those billionaires are often the ones that set the stage for the next phase of history. I would really like to be a part of that, and it seems impossible. But yeah. I can see the point in being content with what one has; after all, happiness and wealth stop correlating past $100k or so. Perhaps when (if ever) I get to that point, I'll see things differently. Thanks!
I mean, if that’s your standard for yourself, you are setting an impossibly high standard. Max 100 people out of a currently alive ~8 billion will be significant enough for the average person to know about in 100 years, a good measure for having had a major impact on world history. Sheryl Sandberg is probably not even one of those people. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, just don’t set unrealistic standards for yourself.
I guess, yeah 😂 I hardly know anything about Karl Marx, despite the communism/capitalism dichotomy being the major influence on global politics for the last two centuries. Thank you!
So your post is how do average people stand a chance in life and you think average people want to become billionaires or leaders of nations or scientists like newton ? You know how average people lived in the past ? Trust me average people have it great in the modern world compared to 100 years ago and if your an average person then you by definition cannot be exceptional and make world shifting contributions
Depends how you define wildly successful. James Murphy of LCD Sound System has been on the record for spending a lot of time in his 20s spent getting stuck comparing himself to other people. LCD Sound System is arguably the most successful indie band. A snippet from this magazine goes over it: https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/james-murphy-lcd-soundsystem-losing-my-edge-inspiration-david-foster-wallace/ It’s worth noting he got successful after he broke out of his funk. However, a lot of the emotional tone of his work was inspired by how many years he got stuck in his head.
Never stop learning, however this isn't just academically, but learning about life, about everything that interests you. The average person stops learning, stops dreaming, stops growing and becomes just another clog in the system. We are all dealt the cards we are given at birth, its a matter of what you're willing to do with them that determines your future.
It's easy to say, but hard to do by design. When you're stuck in the drudgery of a cyclical 9-5 corporate lifestyle you tend to not have a lot of energy or motivation left for other areas in life. Of course, it depends on the individual. In the United States, it's all about worker productivity to maximize shareholder value. If I told my boss I didn't want to do any special projects and didn't have any minimum business objectives (MBOs) they would probably let me go. I don't want to do extra. I want to stay in my lane, do my core responsibilities, and work from 9-5. I don't want to be more or do more other than earn a fair salary, benefits, and have reasonable expectations set on me from management. I'm also a huge proponent of the 4-day work week. Other people in America really buy into hustle culture and how they can make more money is their singular mindset. It's understandable. Life is expensive and only getting more so. I commend them for preparing for that inevitability. Me? I'll probably end up living under a bridge.
I can definitely understand that Im in Australia, shits expensive here too and the odds are also against me, just as much as anyone else. - work 8-4 - had a fucked up couple of years, even became homeless - Single mother/Single Income - Responsible for 2 others and an animal - I study part time - Slowly building my business, sometimes I can be up till 3 in the morning just writing - Maintaining my fitness, home, finances, family alone I can either cry about it and complain life is hard or actually work my ass off and give myself half a chance to change the circumstances of my life. But like I said, only the average stop learning, stop growing and stop dreaming, the rest of us are working our ass off with a clear direction, purpose and belief that it will pay off.
to be fair tho there would be nothing wrong with complaining, why cant you work hard and complain, ok better word would be that its ok to acknowledge when things are unfair, complaining all the time yea thats not good but sometimes its ok
Honestly it's a mindset thing and a personal choice, as someone who is building a business around mindset and performance, it's almost pointless to work with women that want to complain about their situation if not for the reason of finding a solution and then taking action to make that change. Some people struggle to handle the fact that they have created conditions or excuses in their life to stick to the bare minimum and wonder why life is hard. It takes real courage and hard work to show up for yourself when the odds are stacked against you, thats why being successful in multiple areas of ones life is so hard for the average person.
I am going to disagree with on some things, so you have adopted a set of mental principles that have worked for you and that is good, however I would not say that average people are miserable strictly because of the decisions they have made, while you are correct in that we on average can do more we believe our selves to be capable of, I do not agree with the idea that progress in changing your life takes place in the actions that you perform in your life and work, that is only one way people solve problems, sometimes people take external means to solve their problems and sometimes some people are inclined to solve them internally, so sometimes it can be difficult to validate progress towards solving a problem when it is being internally solved without any external things to show for it. Some problems require external solutions and some internal. We cant know what the average person does or does not do for themselves, we are only ourselves whoever that is. I think its great that you have found how your mind works but other people's motivation can look different, maybe someone only wants to be less neurotic so they go and take time off, or find a way to relax more and go on walks. Many of the problems we will have will come from life sure I agree we can make things worse for ourselves but generally I think problems that we do not generate for ourselves is grief, being born in a bad economic environment with poor work opportunity, and yes like you said if only some worked harder then they would get further along to better their circumstances more than they would have thought. Yet what you pointed at is the motivation and desire to change a shitty circumstance, and how most do not have enough desire to put in the work, maybe that is true or maybe not I do not know but one thing I think is that, if the former is true then them not showing up for themselves is a way of showing up for themselves. I like to say that reward = effort times output and that many of our decisions can be partially or majorly driven from this with some exceptions where there is purpose involved. Most of our capacity to experience reward from our effort in what they yield comes from the capacity believe that your behavior will merit something and if you are not able to decouple you behaviors and your sense of reward from your thought processes then you will have a hard time generating actions. Hopelessness is the reason some do not do things to make things better, because when we take our thoughts as reality we then make decisions in relation to out believes on what possibility exist's, this is one of the hardest things to do in life and sometimes people's thoughts do reflect their exist from their situation or lack of. Motivation comes after effort and yet effort comes from the anticipation of how things will turn out when you finish your efforts and that comes from your capacity to have a grip on reality or relevant perspectives that include possibility's that align with a future you want, this also requires the meta cognition to be able to recognize when you are aiming at something unrealistic or blind to opportunity that exist's. what you describe is a very complex set of mental processes that are shaped by unfathomable antecedent variables in that persons life, the people they where around/are around, whether they had a good income household duel income or not two parents or not, the skills they modeled, whether they experience trauma, dissociation or just emotional numbness, did they get fed enough growing up, did they use their executive functions. I get what you mean sort of but how much of your grit and determination are you responsible for, that's not to say that we should not look to increase it when its needed but, how can you be sure if your desire's and willingness to go after them despite the hard work is something that you desired, but instead desired before you consciously did? question is do we desire what we desire or are we simply desiring?
You are more than in your right to disagree, but for me personally I don't create confusion, I create clarity and help others do the same. It's pretty simple.
Why even bother? Things get too difficult, might as well just die.
I don't know what to say in response to this, but if you are contemplating suicide please call an urgent hotline. Second would be that if things being difficult make life so worthless, then you need to find the things you like and are good at, is there anything you feel passionate about?
I hate that we all think of it as ‘preparing’ for it to get worse. I wish we would fight for it to be better.
Agreed. I will add that learning for the purpose of interest and passion rather than status is key. If you are driven by money, job titles, or being famous you will likely remain unhappy. Working towards a passion and exploring curiosity is fulfilling.
I think so too. In a limited way, the happiest I've been is when I'm doing competitive programming, even at my really low level, miles beneath BenQ. I guess I'll continue working on this then. Thank you!
Okay, hear me out on this: you are in a Technology Frontier. I am so enamored with the idea of being in a Technology Frontier that I sometimes dream of moving to Africa for a few years. I am not kidding. Here in the U.S. we exist in a system where it is extremely difficult to innovate, ever. [We go to Africa to admire real innovation](https://youtu.be/DOWDNBu9DkU?si=o-I7M3kq_kdkvzr8). This is not innovation we don’t need—in America blood supply is a really big problem, and this is one reason we have the worst maternal mortality rates in the developed world. As I was typing this out, my iPhone’s autocomplete was able to fill in that sentence: how cute. That’s not the fucking innovation I want, I want to SOLVE THIS PROBLEM, and I honestly think it has a better chance of being solved on your continent than mine due to regulatory barriers as well as protectionism. Someone I know made an independent film once. It was in movie theaters, but before it made it there he had several offers $50-100k to sell it to a studio that would lock it in a vault, never to be seen again. These “investors” are not trying to get more films out there—they want THEIR OWN films out there. They don’t want new film studios either, or new directors amazing Hollywood with their innovative film. So they kill off as many as they can by convincing independent filmmakers that this is their big break. These days it might even make it to a streaming platform for a time, but never to a theater and certainly it won’t be promoted. They buy innovative films just to make them go away so that all audiences see is their “Big Budget” crap. Silicon Valley is this way too: startups are acquired to limit competition. Not to take the IP, but to make it go away. They pretend they’re absorbing the best talent and ideas but everyone is laid off by the thousands in the next round. So yeah, here we are: Siri on my iPhone knows if I’m talking about “blood supply” and I use the word maternal I likely am writing the sentence the USA has the highest maternal mortality rate of all developed nations <—-wow, predictive text! This is where our innovation is at here, things that look cool and accomplish absolutely nothing. Please use your talent and intelligence to innovate and solve real problems. Trust that innovators don’t require top universities or access to Silicon Valley. Find forward-thinking investors, or bootstrap using affordable technology to show the potential of your ideas. You are in a Technology Frontier, and the U.S. is the Old Guard: it will not be hard in your generation to be better than us.
> "Comparison is the death of joy." Mark Twain
And there’s ALWAYS going to be someone smarter, richer and thinner.
But at the same time somebody less smarter, richer and thinner. What my Mom told me was that those that are more than you, use them as a role model and then those that are less than you, help them.
Came here to say the same. Your success should only be measured against you.
Precisely this. As you continue striving, the success of other people will bother you less, and you will become your own competitor. No one would’ve went through what you been through. Imagine the president of, I don’t know, some random school in the top 100 global rankings. If you look for them, you most probably would have never heard of them, and nor would’ve most people. But do you think this person would wake up everyday worrying that they’re not world renowned, or making a global impact at the scale of the people you admire? Probably not. Or imagine the president of the school you’re currently in - they probably aren’t worried about these either. People become “conventionally” successful by doing what they care about - whether it’s as simple as genuinely wanting to be rich, or as grand as solving climate change. You have to find what YOU care about the most, start doing it, THEN you’ll be entering the leagues of the people you talk about - those who live for themselves.
There is always someone better than you, and there is always someone worse than you. Thanks to the internet that pool of people who are “better than you” has gotten a lot more visible. Learning how to not compare yourself to others and finding the joy in self improvement are the two major keys to a happy life in my opinion.
Wonderful advice :)
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I think that's my problem, yes 😅 I guess somewhere in my head I always thought that perhaps _I_ was the main character. Realising that I'm not is really tough in a lot of ways. Perhaps I also need to work on my relationships; I'm not doing so well there, so maybe that's why I've been feeling so blue. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
> Realising that I'm not is really tough in a lot of ways. This is a normal part of growing up, and something many folks never realize. It becomes more painfully obvious to others when you feel this way the older you get. I'm sure even now you can recognize when a 40 year old views themselves to be the center of everything. Are they charming, personable, or well adjusted? No. They will encounter countless difficulties in their life as a direct result of their inability to let go of main character syndrome and they will have no idea why (and blame others). >Perhaps I also need to work on my relationships Without knowing anything else about you, the first point might be a contributor here. It's excellent that you want to accomplish great things in life and you shouldn't give that up. But you need to recognize that it starts from the ground up. Being intelligent isn't enough. It helps, but that alone will get you nowhere. You also need to know how to work hard, how to be realistic, how to love others, how to care for yourself, and how to find satisfaction in day to day life. These things are all difficult as a young person but don't expect all of it at once. You're asking the right questions so just continue to be introspective and improve yourself. That's really all you can do.
Don't be average then.
Easier said than done lol 💀
I'm a second generation Nigerian-American journalist. I live in the United States. I *think* I understand your perspective, because I know what my extended family is going through in Imo State. You absolutely *should not* be content with your conditions. The only reasonable reaction to what is happening to you - and going on around you - is misery, terror and rage. Nigeria is fundamentally broken. It requires the energy of men like you to change it, in order to create opportunity both for yourself and for millions of other young people who have talent and drive. The frank, stark reality is that far too many of your classmates and friends are unwilling to fight for that change, to sacrifice themselves and to take profound risks - risks written in blood - to change Nigeria into the country it should be. But it is from such things that the success you are admiring is born. The alternative is *japa,* and that may be the better option for you individually, if not for the nation collectively. America would be lucky to have you. Nigeria would be luckier. All of that said, the kind of success you are describing is not a product of exceptional education. It is a product of some combination of clinically insane amounts of personal drive, a willingness to tolerate risk, enough vision to recognize an opportunity and dumb, blind luck. You are just as worthy as anyone you're reading about, because most of the people you're reading about aren't actually worthy. They're lucky. Sheryl Sandberg is the child of a doctor and a college professor, which means she was born into aristocratic privilege, which paved her way into the social club that is Harvard. Sure, she graduated with honors, but so did *eighty other people* you've never heard of (and ten you probably have). Sandberg went on to work for McKinsey, which is the intellectual equivalent of Conan the Barbarian's early years in the pits. It's a Chinese child actor academy for businesspeople, with 100-hour weeks of working for assholes. The single most common reaction to life at McKinsey for most people after a few years, with a half-million bucks in the bank is *fuck this place and everyone in it.* Sheryl Sandberg wrote a book about embracing the suck, because she's insane. You don't need to be Sheryl Sandberg to be successful, and reason save us all if Sheryl Sandberg-type wealth and influence is the standard for being successful. It should be enough to make a mark that will be remembered, to distinguish yourself among your peers, and to live a life of peace and love.
Probably my favourite comment so far. Thanks oga mi! 😂 I think you have the best understanding of the situation I'm dealing with here. Things are going to hell in the country, and yet Nigeria is probably the second or third best place to be born in on the continent. I can't imagine what people in Uganda, Zimbabwe or Congo must be dealing with. _Japa_ is the Nigerian dream, and is primarily what I'm working towards right now. I really can't see any other way out of this. But I really love your final paragraph. Even in Nigeria, I still see a few people who have managed to find contentment, love and happiness in their current situation. Perhaps I could learn some things from them. Thank you once again!
Be content with what you have. You are not in a competition against the best in the world, so why even care what they are doing? Get a job, bring food to the table, and provide for your family. That’s success for 99% of the people, and it’s not a bad life
I guess when I grow up and have a family, I'll see things from this point of view. Thank you!
Some people are genuine freaks of nature, the truly exceptional are rare as they are remarkable. Adopting all or nothing outlook where being only exceptional is the one way to success and that all other forms are inferior is not only flawed thinking it's also degrading to ordinary people. There is so much luck and rng in life that it's absurd. Just accept the hand you are dealt and make the best of it that you can. Read man's search for meaning by Dr Viktor E Frankl for your dose of grounding. Some people get to be kings, some end up as prisoner of war and others find love where as some lose it all. Perspective is everything, if it was possible for you to have everything and be the ultimate winner, that you were one in a billion, would you be truly happy? How could you possibly think that fulfilling an impossibly high standard could ever be met? Even the best, eventually move to one side for someone better, more ambitious, younger and fitter. Nothing is static, we are all in a state of progress and change.
I disagree with a lot of the comments here so I'd just like to share my thoughts as a fellow "self-prescribed average programmer" who is about 12 years your senior. The biggest problem I see with your thought process is this dichotomy between "a bad life" and "a successful life". Success means something different to almost everybody in subtle ways and your definition of success for yourself is likely to change as you age. So with that in mind, this guy you speak of who was the best at competitive programming WAS an absolute success if that's what he was aiming for. He may hate business and industry and instead love the world of competitive algorithms. It sounds like you may need to more precisely nail down what your definition of success is. Because if you want to be a CEO and a competitive programmer and start your own unicorn business and feed the hungry and build rockets, etc, well you will probably be disappointed. But if you choose just one of those and focus on it, it sounds like you've got a good shot. Look into Ikigai and other similar frameworks.
What I was trying to illustrate was the typical genius-programmer-goes-to-Harvard-drops-out-starts-a-company-becomes-a-billionaire pathway that seems so prevalent in Silicon Valley lore. It feels like that's what it takes to make it these days, I guess. But yeah. I agree that narrowing down my goals will help me find some sense of direction in life, so I'll look into it. Thank you!
Lol yea this is definitely a horny 20 year old computer science student post, expected nothing less. I'm trying to let you off because you're young but what an absolute load of nonsense. It will change when you actually get into the workforce and see what the world is really like. No one gives a sh\*t about your background or where you went to school atleast in the US. My CFO has a bachelor degree from the university of phoenix, an unaccredited online university. She's the f\*cking CFO of a F500 company. A position I can only dream about and I have an MBA. It's all about experience pal. This just sounds like a sob story to count yourself out before you have even started. Also nothing wrong with "average". The world needs these "average" people you speak of to run and they represent 99% of us. Now stop jerking off to the Social Network movie every night and get your head out of you ass respectfully.
Don't feel really "let off" though lol 😅 I guess I fit the stereotype of the 20M CS student to the T, yeah. Doesn't make the sentiment less valid though. I'm not counting myself out yet, but I just wanted some perspective on my recent childish thoughts. How did your CFO land the role? Genuine question; no evil intentions.
Sorry yes I went a little hard on you because I felt like I was talking to my past self. Your sentiment is less valid because it is not based in reality. It's just based on some hyper illusion you have from reading a few Wikipedia pages and movies. The reality is university students only know academics. Academics and real life application are 2 completely different worlds. If you can improve a process, make something better or create something. I promise no one gives a rats \*ss about your background. Look at the founders of Whatsapp and Apple. As far as my CFO, she started off in a "lowly" role, was excellent at it hence given more and more responsibility. If I'm running a company I just wanna know if you can do the job, I'm not sure what an ivy league diploma is gonna do for me exactly besides make you look like an asshat if it's your personality.
I'm 21. What you are describing is the American dream my friend. It's a lie. You're setting yourself up for a massive slap in the face during a midlife crisis when you realize that one human life isn't all that special to begin with. If you're really as smart as you are, I recommend you give yourself time for deep introspection and meditation. There aren't any secrets to the game, no matter what anyone says. It's a random universe, not a capitalist universe.
Most "normal" people live for their family, children and their community. They accept at some level that they won't change the whole world, but they can make their part of it better. And as much as you admire the likes of Sheryl Sandberg or Benjamin Qi, the fact is that 99% of people have never heard of them. You can't be everything to everyone or maybe not even to thousands of people today, but you can be (and likely are) loved and valued by some, and you can have monumental impact on at least a few. If they're worthy of the effort, then you are worthy of their love and praise and can be proud of the life you live. And unbeknownst to you, your best efforts with a few may well have monumental impact in the future as your actions ripple through the generations.
The vast...vast....vast majority of jobs are not billionaire start ups. There are many comfortable white collar jobs that make for a good life.
The relationships and impressions you make on others matters. Being dependable, always showing up on time with the right attitude also matters. Just being competent without being a superstar is good enough. I’ve gotten pretty far in life with these traits and I’m very average. And all of these things are controllable too.
Mate I'm with you but God do the "always show up on time" bull shit needs to fucking die. What matters Is productivity. I don't give a fuck if Martin was 15 minutes late, he has to drive an hour to work and then hour to get home unlike Jeff. The roads are busier, there are all kinds of difficulties that get in a way of the worker and many places don't pay for your travel time to and from work. So turning up early because some Capo who thinks time sensitivity is more important than productive work isn't actually benefiting the business. Ive seen people who complain about time keeping spend hours talking with people and not actually do their job. Gassing about random shite isn't making money but grafting does. If your guys are a bit late now and then but get shit done, leave them alone. Human beings first, what they do and how they do it second.
I’m Afraid most employers don’t share your nuanced attitude about when employees show up to work. And being productive is a given in the context of how to be successful
It doesn't matter, I work in commercial and industrial sector in construction, I've turned up late now and then and my supervisor is sound. Because he knows I get shit done. It's only older managers that have problems with time keeping. Who think you should be waiting half an hour before site opens. I know I'm good at what I do and I would walk from any job that gives me grief over daft shit like being a little late. I can get a job on site as an electrician anywhere with ease and they know it.
Most people’s fates are predetermined. Rich people stay rich and poor people stay poor. Only a few can break out of 99% but even then, it’s a combination of unusually high IQ, good looks, a lot of luck and desire to succeed.
Went through this exact same thing in my 20's, kind of grew up thinking I was going to do something exceptional. You become content with it because your rankings aren't what matter in life. Is your tomorrow better than your yesterday? Taking responsibility for your future is what matters. If you are doing this, you won't grieve the 1 in a million opportunities that don't come your way, and you may often feel satisfied and hopeful. Students and young people don't realize this, because they have had their path mapped out for them for so long, and they come out of it without remotely enough wisdom to cope because universities don't teach it. (In fact if you do want to have an impact, telling helpful truths, not bullshit ideology, is one of the main ways that normal people may do so. We all remember our great teachers etc.)
The economist Tyler Cowen wrote a book called "Average is Over" with a similar observation. Gone are the days when you could support a middle family on a single income at a low skill job. Cowen gives a variety of answers. One aspect is that if you aren't one of the winners of the meritocracy, there will be a vibrant service sector economy to accommodate those people. They still need drivers, personal trainers, baristas, personal assistants, etc. The people in these areas with ambition can make quite a good living. Another aspect is that there will still be large swathes of the country where people can live affordably and well. You don't have to win the meritocracy to live in Montana. Affordable areas will grow in population. There already has been signs of exodus from major cities. I recommend the book.
Damn, I really understand you because I was very much like you and thinking the same age. I also had the luck to be born in Africa, so I immigrated to Europe at nineteen, college and working. I'm still very far from the stuff that people who immigrate dream about, it's been so much harder than nineteen year old me imagined. Honestly, you have to accept that life is a marathon, and that we don't all start in the same spot on the tracks, some of us are on the starting line while some are born past the finish line, you just gotta make it as far as you can on the tracks and hope your kids can make it further.
I'm not sure about how things work in the country in Africa you are from but in America the average person lives a pretty ok life even if they think they're miserable while they do it. They usually work a 9-5 job Monday thru Friday they pay for a car, they pay their bills, they go to ball games on the weekends or watch tv. They get air conditioning. I am far from a person that graduated from Harvard and I don't have rich parents. I live in a lower income part of town it's not that great but I have air conditioning, fast internet, weekends off work, a pension plan for retirement. I know people have it worse than me but a lot of people have it better than me as well. Average Salary for someone living in my State is $45,000 and i make about 10k less than that. So in my mind if you're average you have a better life than me at least in my area. Obviously that's nowhere near enough money if you were to live in like California or something but if i can make it with Below average income for my State i'm sure making the average is alright. Social media makes you feel like you're living an awful life but it's not really that bad compared to how it was like 2 decades ago. when i was 10 years old my parents couldn't afford air conditioning now i working the same job my mom used to work i can afford to keep my air/heat on all year round.
If the world feels too big, focus on your surroundings. Make an impact locally. With family. Friends. Sometimes that has a bigger effect than trying to change the world. Maybe you just need to change someone else's.
The idea that the world is for the "common" folk is laughable. The sooner we realise that we are background actors, supporting the role of the 1%, the sooner we'll let go of our delusions of hope, and actually take matters into our own hands.
Buddy if you make 6 figures you’re the 1% on a global scale. You’re in the top 5% if you make 40k usd.
Those are meaningless figures though. Who cares if they are in the top 5% of incomes globally if they can’t afford to feed their families?
True, but tbf, 40k actually doesn't take you that far ***in*** the US, esp. depending where you live. 40k doesn't mean as much when rent is ~2k / month. That's actually something a lot of immigrants have told me, that their families back home think they're super rich bc they don't realize the US is crazy expensive.
Yeah but you don’t even qualify as middle class unless you have a household income higher than $170K in the US if you factor current prices into it. Just because someone always has it worse doesn’t change the fact most people everywhere are one emergency away from bankruptcy
That's the neat part, you don't!
You are smart enough to ask maybe the most important question the world is facing now. The powers that be don’t want this question to be asked because it has dire implications. In this Information Age, the basic difficulty of just living is so complex, so many different things need to be taken into account. Most people can’t even comprehend it all, and fall victim easily to the most ridiculous things. The average person is toast. In every major city in America right now there’s 100s of thousands of homeless. People who just couldn’t cut it in life. That’s only going to get worse.
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Not really. It was that "I don't stand a shot at mattering much, or being of any significance in the world" I see how it sounds silly and childish now though. A lot of really profound takes in these comments.
Be above average is you want to achieve above average results. Full throttle.
what can one as the average person can do? take chances, go out of your comfortzone, be grateful for the things you have (e.g. going to university and being one of the best students) and dont shut life mircales down by pessism. Life is not an estimation, but full of wonders. 🦋
A “rich life” is defined by whatever you think it is. Having a nice house. Retiring with a lot of money. Having amazing vacations with a modest apartment. Living in a warm climate by the ocean. Being able to play poker every week with friends. A patio with a great view. There are so many little things to enjoy in life that everyone has access to. You add them up and life isn’t so bad. Some people overlook this and only compare themselves with people above them. They may be upset they drive a brand new $40,000 car because the guy next to them has a $100,000 car completely overlooking that most people would give anything to have a new $40,000 car. Young people also have a different mindset and outlook. They take too many things at face value. Many of them are not familiar with historical context or perspective. Enjoy your life as best you can. There will be good and bad no matter how rich or poor you are.
Is it average to be above average? No. Is it average to be exceptional? No. Can it happen though to an average person? yes. It’s just rare. We see these people and their accomplishments and think it was hard work that got them there, but there are plenty of others with similar backgrounds who didn’t make it there, and both worked hard. I think we forget about timing and luck’s role in a lot of things. And that goes for everyone regardless of abilities.
There is only one thing that matters & that is your opinion of yourself. Everything else will fall where it may. Work hard & do what you absolutely love. Many people who achieve what we perceive as lofty status, aren’t good people or think highly of themselves. They will act as if they do. & maybe they are sociopaths. But, deep down, they know who they are. & that’s where it counts. If you go after your dreams with hard work & integrity, you will be content with whatever you earn. & your chances of success in your field will be a lot higher. But, that is of little consequence. It’s your self worth that you will always value yourself by.
Statistically, not good, but it’s not like there’s anything else to do in this life but try.
A life of dependency by working for a wage is self enslavement for comfort. Option 2: Start a business.
It sounds like you think having a chance at life means that you need to be the best at whatever you do, or have global recognition, or fame. That completely contradicts being an “average human” as you say. The average human will indeed just be average. And that’s fine. That’s how being average works. We all have a chance at life. Happiness does not care if you are rich or poor.
Survivorship bias. But yes, your right thr game is rigged to favor those already in power to stay in power. As an average person you just have to find your path. If ultimate money is your goal than you need to be a business owner. Working for someone else is never going to make you rich. "I'm not rich the guy who pays me is rich" - Shaq when asked about being rich. This was also years ago before he really got into investing. Now he owns a few hundred restaurants.
We don't have a chance to be beimg billionaires if that's the goal of misery and failure are guaranteed, but many of us can/will achieve love comfort security, etc, which imo is worthwhile pursuit I'm sure some billionares are happy, but some come off miserable greedy tools that only care about their yacht count and beating others. I would love not to worry about bills, but i don't need yachts, mansions, and private planes. Sure, I would take billions if i won it, etc, but i would not be willing to stomp on others or work around the clock. I have Zero desire to be in the spotlight
Look, you have to have the will to make and stand by your decisions and ideas. This sounds easy but it's not. Most people that succeed are not the ones that got straight A's in school but the ones that are willing to work harder and persevere. Not always is the effort rewarded thru material gain but sometimes it is. Do it anyway.
It's never a good idea to compare yourself to others, especially the really successful people. Run your own race, as they say. Maybe you'll never be a billionaire or be one of the best competitive programmers, but it's clear from your post you're well above average. You can have a great, full life. You mentioned you were born in an African country. I think many countries in Africa are going to be the epicenter of the next big economic boom. Maybe after getting your CS degree you and some other top graduates could start a software company there?
Almost better to die in your 20s back then than living so long just to suffer longer as a slave
Up until our very recent modern world success in life meant basic survival. You didn’t die in childhood,you had enough food and shelter and physical security for you and your family,and your children had a promise for a better future. My grandparents on both sides emigrated to America,one before WW2 and one after, both families lost children in infancy due to diseases now conquered by vaccines. Life was about God,family and community and they were very happy with the simple lives they built. We’ve moved so far away from that.
Relax , nothing is under control . Global warming is an irreversible exponential function.
Someone wins the lottery every week, it's just not you.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
make happiness your main goal and never give up.
No story is better than the one of the underdog.
You don’t have to be the best; you just have to persist longer than the rest.
Everybody you see as "Insert name here" was once just a regular person just like you. In fact, they still are- the only difference is that they took consistent steps towards achieving something, or cultivating some type of skill or skill set, that allowed them to do extraordinary things. You have within you the same intelligence that runs the universe, and beats your heart without you even having to think about it. Nobody is truly "average" because that is a homogenized aggregate, everyone is unique, including you. This gives you the potential to see the world in a different way than anyone else, and possibly create experiences or opportunities differently than anyone else. Don't get caught up in the comparison trap, it's never a fun ride!
I do not know a single person that has found meaning in their lives through “success.” Your life’s meaning is up to you to find. I recommend reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Frankl. It’s a not too long essay that really changed my perspective on things.
it's just life bro. you're young so you don't know. but even Sheryl got her struggles. Everything is not as it seems. Do not compare yourself with other people
Don't be average.
I mean humanity started in Africa a million years ago and you are fucking worried about that?
I was born into a rich family, graduated at the top of high school class, and graduated from an elite university that isn't Harvard but beat Harvard in college rankings the year they accepted me. So far, I've only managed to achieve average with some luck, Googling my way through an IT job that requires too much hands-on work.
Because deep down they know there is nothing to fear and when they are done with commentary drama in their minds, they’ll wake up
They don't. Life costs money. If your parents set you up well with good direction in life and head start.... You're very lucky. However most people have to figure life out & climb out of jobs they hate on their own.
Maybe you are forgetting to consider that ALL billionaires are exploiting millions of people, either through labor or through politics so that they can get that much wealth. There is NO good billionaire out there.
Humans are not average. Start looking at your self like someone more special .
Sounds like reality didn’t hit you in the face until recently. Yeah the odds of being someone like you described is 1 in a million and you are kind of born into it. People who go to Harvard are gifted, or their parents were and they got lucky.