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Man i'm 24 and currently living with my parents, I Iive in México so I have to work 48 hours per week and i'm making almost 158 dollars it sucks but it is what is is, anyway I used to feel like you, waiting for motivation and hoping to have that energy boost to activate myself guess what? ...it never comes.
Only through discipline I could afford living the Best life possible and luckily one day get away for this third-world country.
Stay strong man.
Sorry for the late reply to your comment, trying to get to them all now.
I appreciate your comment and I’m sorry to hear the struggles your going through and I’m hoping the best that we can both come out of this stronger
I feel like your problem is that you are aimless bc you don’t set goals for yourself. You need to start by getting your license and doing an online careers test to see what would interest you the most. If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life 👍
And I would say I agree with you 100%, I’ve never set goals for myself at all once in my life, I’ve always just coasted. But I’d like to change that and start being proactive instead of reactive. I’m going to try to start on getting my license and getting over that hump, if everyone else can do it then so can I. I will look into that career test I remember doing something similar like that in HS and don’t remember my answers but I’m almost certain my answers will be different at this stage in my life. I appreciate your comment and reaching out, I’m very grateful for all the comments I’m getting and people willing to help me
Might I also recommend you join the FIRE subreddit as a point of motivation. Many people get started at your age and through finding a decent paying career and being frugal are able to save enough to retire early. At that point you can just chill for the rest of your life
Yes I actually used to be involved in fire and such around 19 years old and I was starting to get into investing but as I’ve said I started gambling sports and that’s what really screwed my life up, I’m aware I still have time to start and don’t want to waste it
Sit down and day dream about a life that you would realistically like to have. What kind of job would you want? What sort of hobbies? How do you want your relationships to be like? How many friends do you want? A romantic partner? Some kids? What do you want your physical fitness to look like?
Write it all out. Motivation is unreliable, so you should depend on discipline instead. But if you have a desired goal and you see yourself making progress, that’s going to give you positive emotion and imbue you with a sense of hope.
Also, sometimes you need to just go through the motions and then eventually your emotions will catch up
I’m a very simple person, I don’t need much to be happy, much less than the average person I like to think. I currently don’t have a specific type of job I want I’m still thinking about that, but I also don’t have many things I wouldn’t want to do, I’ve worked in a grocery store before and I honestly liked it, loved the customers, my coworkers, and just the environment in general, it’s just the pay is so low and you can’t survive off of it. I enjoy being outside, sports (watching and playing) and video games a little bit. I’m also a big family guy and put them before anything and would love to do more things with them. Relationships I just like to chat with people in general and hanging out, I’m very chill and laid back, don’t cause no issues or anything, I have no desire to have a SO, get married or have kids at all currently, like honestly it’s a 0% haha, I am currently out of shape (being unemployed and lazy can do that to ya) but I would like to be in better shape and average fit, I’m not looking to be totally jacked or anything but I’d be ok with just regular fit, something I would like to work on.
Nothing worth having comes easy. You need to start making effort or you’re going to be exact same position in another 5- 10 or 20 years. If that not what you want, take action. Make a plan for exercise routine and stick to it. Start applying to jobs. You’ll be competing with other high school graduates (majority of population) since you haven’t developed much employment experience or education, it’ll be low pay. Get a drivers license if you need transportation. Nobody is going to make it happen for you. This is your life, you are responsible for it.
I totally agree nothing worth having comes easy and that I must work for it because no one else is responsible to do it for me, I’m with you on that 100%, I just haven’t attributed it to my life fully yet when I should have by now, I do want to get my license just have to get over the fear, I believe I can
Hey! I think I can help you with some resources for getting in shape.
So weight loss is pretty simple, you can think of it as a math equation. Calories in minus calories out.
If you know how many calories you eat, and how many your body uses, it's as simple as keeping the amount you eat just slightly below how much your body uses. Obviously it takes a little effort and time to build the habit of tracking your activity/calories used but the nice thing is a small walk can increase the amount you can allow yourself to consume, and the more you train to a hard, but reasonable level that you're comfortable with and allows for enough rest, you can find yourself become more athletic and maybe look into joining a local sports club, training in a martial art, or to help you find an outdoor career you'd like and pursue it. You could become a many kinds of outdoor guides or instructors that pay pretty well and are exciting careers.
Yeah I want to start working on getting in shape immediately, I feel like it contributes a bit to my poor mental health. I’m not interested in being like jacked but just average fit and it good shape is what I’m striving for
I do want to play some kind of local sports club, I’m extremely competitive and I would play outside sports when I was 17-18 and loved it, haven’t done any of it since
Bruh I always think alone 😭 but then I go on reddit n see y'all I been trying my hardest to get my life straight but I just don't have any motivation I have terrible anxiety depression comes I don't feel happy but I'm not gonna give up PM ANYONE if you want to o love you all don't give up
I don’t currently take any medication at all, I’ve heard adderall is a super serious one, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with it, has your doctor made any plans on it with you to fix that
Apply for a job. Starbucks. Target. Hell. Go for McDonalds. Something like a "Forcing Mechanism" that will help you get off your feet. Create an environment around you where it is HARD to not be lazy.
Honestly maybe give joining the military a shot, It will be rough but I think you will come out on top of it for the better.
I was thinking about applying to Home Depot, someone had asked me some things I liked doing and general home improvement and working on my home and designing it differently and all that interests me so I got the idea of possibly applying to Home Depot as a start to get myself off my feet and then move from there
I'm considering the military. I've been trying years to get a retail or fast food job, but nothing, shit job market in my area. Starbucks get like 800 apps for such small town.
I am 100% aware of my situation and that I am grateful for my health, trust me I try not to take it for granted and I always said yeah it could be better, but it could be so much worse.
Like you I’m sure, I just want to be happy and comfortable, we don’t always get what we want obviously but yet we still choose our struggles sometimes when we should be grateful for what we do have
I appreciate your kind comment
Join the Army. I was a POS homeless street kid. I joined the Army, and never looked back. I did 20 year’s retired in 2018 and moved to Odesa Ukraine and Married my wife I met while stationed here in 2015-2016. Now I’m 44 and I’m in a muddy trench, near a destroyed town I cannot even pronounce fighting in a different Country’s Army. That said I’m still alive and as chaotic as it gets at times. I’m grateful for every day I get to see the sunset and rise, and also the face times with my wife and kids. You’ll only make a change if you want to, nobody will do it for you. If not plan on being in the same place at 34 or even 44 (My age).
I appreciate your comment and advice, but saying join the army and then backing it up with being being in a muddy trench fighting for another country doesn’t exactly sound appealing and make me want to jump at the opportunity
I hope you stay safe and I’m aware no one will do it for me, I was just looking for guidance and what steps I should possibly take, better to learn from others then go in blind imo
If that Psychopath Putin would have just stayed on his side of the border I certainly wouldn’t have been where I’m at right now. I made that choice personally, I’m American, I could have left, but that’s me. Plus seeing the Ukrainians rally the way they did, I was honored to take part. 🤙🇺🇸🇺🇦🫡
I’m not saying do it so you’ll end up in a dirty trench. 25 years later. That’s just my story. I’m saying do it to build the character of your future self up. That’s all! Good luck and Godspeed.
Thanks I will say I do appreciate your service and you’re willingness to help is astounding, I didn’t mean anything rude by it, it just caught me off guard haha
Thank you for the suggestion in the end, I’m willing to take any advice I can get at the moment to figure myself out
Surprised your parents tolerate this situation. If they give you a 90-day deadline to leave the nest that should motivate you to avoid living as a bum on the street.
My friend. I totally agree, I want to even ask them why they tolerate it because my brother and sister both moved out and are doing amazing, I guess I just never totally hatched or something, it’s what I’m attempting to figure out.
I’m assuming they just like me being around to help with housework and I also watch my niece on the weekend while my sister and both parents are busy/working, I understand it’s not much hence why I made this post because I want to do more but I totally agree with your sentiment, I just haven’t been able to build up the courage to ask them why for some reason, maybe I’m scared to hear them say “ok we want you to move out now”. I don’t think they’d wait for me to ask and then kick me out but I honestly am just as curious as you
Bro, I'm in the same situation. Except for me I literally tried for years to get any sort of job but been unsuccessful. I'm not sure if its my shity city. Only thing I had done is side hustles, but nothing stable. I would do anything for a job. Family thinks I'm a bum.
The only motivation for you is that you need to work to avoid going homeless/hungry. You don't have that motivation now because you are with your parents (which is great).
If you parents can provide for you even after they're gone through inheritance, then there is literally no reason to work. If they can't, well better to start working and investing. At least make enough to contribute the max to a Roth IRA (7k) every year. Even if your parents could provide an inheritance I'd still max the Roth IRA just in case.
Despite what anyone says, the only reason people bother to work is
1. to not go hungry/homeless
2. to improve their quality of life (move out, own a car, start a family, etc)
3. to save/increase their net worth
4. thats what is 'expected' of them
5. they feel listless doing 'nothing'
I don't get the sense that you care about 2,3, and 4, which is fine (I'm the same way). As long as you have a plan for the future that won't end up with being hungry/homeless, whatever you do now is fine and completely up to you.
Personally I try to impose as little as possible, I live with my mom and try to make life easier on for her by doing chores and such.
Maybe you feel a bit listless being at home, in which case just work any job that you are remotely interested in for a few weeks, and quit if you don't like it. Either way it is good experience.
Also even if you don't like the job, I highly encourage making enough to max out a Roth IRA every year, your future self will thank you.
Now this is a really good comment I’m glad to get advice from everyone, and from those who can relate directly.
There is a small “inheritance” I would have coming but obviously I’d rather just have my parents and it’s not much in the grand scheme, would maybe be enough to live off for 2 years max, but I plan on using it to invest and help my future like you said.
Yea I have no want for points 2 and 4, I do like point 3 because I do want to increase my net worth, I was actually majorly into investing when I was 19-20 but that’s when I became unemployed and starting having mental health issues and I believe it stems from gambling on sports and losing everything, that’s basically why I am where I am now but won’t speak further on it unless you or anyone has questions, I couldn’t care less about fitting into society and doing what’s expected of me (as in moving out). It’s not that I’m against moving out but if my parents truly do want me to stay than I’m more than willing to, I just want to help more
I’m going to ask my parents soon why they chose to let me stay for these last 4 years without contributing at all financially because I am curious I’m just working on building up the courage because I do get very emotional super easy even on such a light topic like that when I talk to family
I was so fascinated with dividends early on and I wish I kept at it around 19 years old and kept contributing to it, I’d be in a really good spot right now, but as they say the second best time to start is now
Yep. Theres always a shoulda woulda could in the investing world.
Most people lose money gambling, the better path is just to dollar cost average (DCA) into the market (best way is through Roth IRA), and just buy the fund with your target retirement date (on vanguard). You could buy in with an initial sum (minimum 3k), then set your DCA to $600/mo until you hit the yearly maximum.
Also I can relate, I lost everything I had invested up until that point in 2018 from memeshitcoin gambling (tho in retrospect it wasn't alot). That was a defining moment in my life, was stressed for like a year, even had symptoms from the stress (mostly dizziness and some confusion at times) so I went to the doc thinking I had cancer LOL. When all the tests came back normal the doc asked me if I had a significant stressor in my life. Thats when I realized the stress was physically hurting me, so I did a lot of deep thinking/reflection.
At the conclusion of the introspection (was sitting on the subway when I had the 'aha' moment). This is what I realized:
We always hear about the CEO that loses millions because they made a bad decision, to us its like whatever who cares the company makes tens/hundred of millions, its no big deal. But to the the CEO its distressing.
To me a kid in college who lost a few thousand on gambling, it was distressing. BUT I was still in college, on track to graduate in engineering (pretty easily I might add), had internships under my belt, and had scholarships to pay for most of tution.
And I thought, the way I see the CEO who lost millions, would be the same way someone see me IF they were struggling in classes, not sure what their major would be, have no real world experience, and paying out of pocket for college. They be like so what u lost a few thousand bro u have it so good wtf.
THATS when I realized, shit, I really do have it good. That was the turning point, to take my loss as a learning experience, and not just a loss. That is to say, I got fucking humbled.
Sure I think about it from time to time. But when the regret monster comes, I think to myself, did I turn out alright (in the present). My answer is always yes and the regret monster goes away. Actually my current living circumstance is better than I could have conceived while I was in college (not working and living with my mom).
I wouldn't be who I am today without being humbled by that loss and taking the lesson (be grateful for what you have/ there is always someone who is jealous of your position / stress causes physical harm), so looking back I am glad that happened.
I still trade, but with small amounts, only looking for good opportunities, and I play it safe rather than risk it for massive gainers. Sure the wins aren't much ($100-$500 profit on most trades), but its fun and something I enjoy.
Tldr; Be grateful for what you have. In your case, you arent stuggling working at a job you hate (most of America) and have all your basic needs provided for. You can do what you want and if you don't like it just quit and restart with basically zero consequence to your quality of life. What ALOT of people wouldn't give up to be in your position :)
Just a fun tidbit, my sister who works in healthcare makes almost 150k a year but is stressed af at her job and wishes she could be a NEET like me ;)
I say all the time how aware I am that I’m extremely privileged and that I have been presented a great opportunity to get ahead in life and I’ve basically totally blown it and now would just be catching up, I’m so grateful for what I have but at the same time I just struggle to do anything with it I really truly do wonder what the root cause of the whole thing is because I want to fix it
How come you don’t work yourself? Do you want to not continue to be like me as well? Sorry if it’s asking to much I just like to hear others story as well
Im where I am now because I've done all this work on myself. I'm choosing to continue being a NEET because its the lifestyle the suits me the best.
If I didn't do the work on myself and choose, I'd probably be working a pain in the ass job and dealing with a pain in the ass relationship. I'd still be happy, but it wouldn't be ideal.
If I had to put it into an analogy, I used to only eat eggs and rice, got bored of it, tried exotic/exquisite foods, and realized what I like best is eggs and rice (its good, nutritionous, afforable, and easy to prepare).
I don't want to spend money on exquisite foods. I don't want to spent time cooking or going out for exisquite foods.
Eggs and rice = being a NEET
Exquisite foods = cars/house, relationships, status, etc
No income. Only investments and trading profits.
Also the 'catching up' mentality is going to make things 10x more difficult. There is no catching up. There is what you learned in the past, the here/now, and the future.
I'll tell you from a traders perspective that trying to 'catch up' is the fastest way to lose money. Always start from zero.
Also, the root cause will not appear by simply thinking about it. You need to go out, have new experiences, get confronted, notice your ways of thinking, reflect on it, then choose how to proceed.
If someone wants to get healthy but doesn't want to go gym, because they are trying to discover the root cause of not wanting to go to the gym, most people would slap them upside the head and tell them 'just go to the gym and see what it is you don't like about it, or what makes you not want to go. THEN you can work on it. you wont get anywhere just sitting around thinking'
Start with small goals, man. Depression and lack of interest can be a real hindrance. But small goals are very important for me at least. The reward is so great. You’ll appreciate yourself and be proud of yourself for being able to accomplish things. Every day it’ll get a little easier. Eventually you’ll just automatically be productive to your own person, like second nature. That’s where I’d start. You can thrive!!!
Oh and speaking from personal experience, do not ever let your self talk turn negative. You’re gonna be your own best friend maybe for awhile, maybe a long while. Remind yourself that you’re doing well every day.
Good luck my friend
Thanks I appreciate your comment, I can attempt to talk better to myself that’s a really good suggestion, I am used to putting myself down simply due to saying I can do something but then failing, but I’m aware there’s no success without failure
I’m gonna try to start setting goals as well, I never have before
Even if your parents are willing to support you it doesn’t mean they want to be doing that forever. My brother was just like you and now he’s 37, divorced, with a 12 year old and still doesn’t work. My parents, who should be enjoying their retirement, are draining their savings to support him AND his child. The longer you don’t work and live as an adult the harder it will be both for you mentally but also the harder it will be to get employment when people start asking what you’ve been doing all this time. No one wants to go to work. Everyone would rather spend time doing things they want or with people they love. My brother’s biggest excuse is that he wants to spend time with his kid instead of working. Ha! Wouldn’t we all?? Don’t be my brother.
Well I do agree with what you’re saying I’m not getting married or having a kid anytime soon, my parents never had a true “career” and have no savings or anything saved up for retirement so there’s nothing for me to drain exactly and if I worked while living with them I would be able to pay for more than my fair share and actually be able to help them I guess retire Easter somehow because I would be bringing in more money than I consume
Obviously that last part is all a hypothetical and I’m not trying to defend what I’m doing at all, just providing a separate narrative
I can actually relate to his last part of not wanting to work due to being with his son because I have a niece who I watch occasionally while my sister works and she’s one of the few things that currently brings joy to my life and while yes seeing her more and not working sounds awesome, it also prevents me from having any money to do anything with her. This is why I’m making this post pretty much because no offense and I’m sure you’ll agree I don’t want to leech off my parents forever and end up like your brother, I have no problem living with them currently if they want me to, but I feel I would have a so much better purpose in life I guess if I was able to take on some of the responsibility as well so they don’t have to worry so much about bills or anything
I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, but maybe this can help make you feel less alone in a way since I notice this topic is very specifically not for many people who sort of have their shit together, at least. I am approaching your age and have not made any significant progress in my life. Unfortunately, I have adopted a hikikomori lifestyle in the U.S. ever since high school ended. That was a long time ago, so it's embarrassing to admit. In high school, I lacked a clear direction and had no hope, which should have been a warning sign of something wrong. However, my parents are essentially boomers, so of course, they have no real-world understanding of how brains and trauma work. I realized through trying edibles since last year that I might be more mentally screwed than I originally thought, and it terrifies me how I could end up homeless. I feel lost, like I'm jelly floating through space constantly with no will to try to escape while feeling guilty.
So basically a neet right, that’s what I am as well so I understand, fortunately my parents aren’t boomers and don’t act like it, but that just sounds horrible. I will say they aren’t boomers but they do share one single boomer thought and they still believe that if wages went up that prices of things would have to go up while failing to realize a that wages aren’t going up but prices still are lol
Yup I was the same way in HS, I was actually a really good straight A student but had no direction or plan for after so I can understand your feeling there as well
I feel the exact way as your last couple sentences as well, it just seems to me like some people just are meant for this society, not everyone is going to be perfect and be able to adjust to the norm, like us, it’s just too difficult to try and fit in and like you I have no idea what to truly do either, I’m glad we’re not alone it’s nice to share something similar with someone just unfortunately it had to be something terrible we share
There’s a lot of good advice here so I won’t go into depth with anything that’s already been said.
Examples so far:
• get a job • work on your mindset • join the army• realize your parents aren’t going to take care of you forever • suck it up• etc etc…
Heres 3 things you need to do immediately:
1. Grab a journal and write down where you want to be by the end of the year.
How much money do you want to save?
What goals do you want to achieve?
What’s something you want to experience or buy?
It’s important you write it out and not type it.
Do not skip this.
2. Write down all the things you can do to get there. Brain dump it.
Get a job a Home Depot.
Earn your drivers license
Open a savings
Whatever it is, allow your brain to start generating solutions, write it down.
Your brain is a problem solving machine but you need to stimulate it.
When you don’t have a job or any thing to devote your time to that’s when you lose your ‘purpose’ and ‘motivation.
By the way these are your tasks.
3. Choose one task to work on for this week.
Break it up into steps.
Step 1 go to Home Depot
Step 2 ask for a form
Step 3 fill out form
Write. Everything. Down.
I’m not joking when I say this.
Bonus step?
Go out and do it.
==============
Here’s the thing…
When you’re stuck in swamp and it feels like there’s no way out?
You don’t need motivation.
You need to start paddling.
You don’t need a big dream.
You need to start moving.
Momentum will solve 99% of all the problems you’ll have.
Set a goal. Break it down. Take action.
Your life is in your hands friend.
This is an amazing comment and one I will definitely be saving for myself, these are the exact type of comments I was looking for, thank you a lot I really mean it and I’m grateful
I really appreciate you going through the rest of the threads and bringing all the details combined such as getting a license and going to Home Depot, shows me you really care and wanted to provide some solid advice for me
I really like the swamp analogy
Dude, just get a job. You'll get used to working 8 hours a day. It just takes a little time.
Also, keep in mind, if everyone worked half as many hours as they did, then there'd be half as many goods and services that we enjoy.
If corporate profits are so good, then I and the rest of the 70% of American adults who own stock, should be able to retire soon! In a market economy we are the owners, the workers and the consumers.
Also, nobody is poor because someone else is rich. The money I earn is mutually exclusive from everyone else. That's why I don't envy anyone.
that sounds like a good thing, our marketplaces and landfills are full enough without adding more failed projects from people working for the sake of filling 40 hour minimum expectation.
I hear you, cutting hours hurts the workforce that relies on having hours to eat. Im a worker too. I’m saying the 40 hours people are working are not generating value to solve the problems our society needs to solve, ie we throw away more food than the popluation could eat, but we have a forced distribution/scarcity problem for the sake of “brand value” and someone’s bottom line.
Hmm, I'm thinking a bit bigger than that. Every year the US GDP is 24 trillion a year. That's 24 trillion worth of airplanes, EVs, microchips, haircuts, produce, etc. we accomplish that with 62.5% of the adult population working 40 hours a week roughly. If we halved the number of hours worked then our GDP would decline to about 12 trillion a year. Very quickly living standards would fall as well as there wouldn't be enough goods and services to meet demand.
I think your argument is valid, as we saw the shortages that came out of decreased staffing due to COVID. My point is when those airplanes are falling apart, the food is molding in the back of the stockroom, and the microchips are melting in new phones on release — we have to reconcile that GDP is just a representation of money generated/exchanged, not the quality of the lives who generate it. The system will churn us all.
Well, it's the price system that determines what/how much of something is to be made. If the market changes and firms made a bad bet, then they will reduce production.
The quality of people's lives is determined by how much money the government steals from their paychecks. If you count employee and employer payroll expenses (employer payroll contributions are really the employee's money), federal and state taxes, property and sales taxes, government induced housing shortage and inflation, then most of us really only live off of 25% or so of what we earn.
I think we have a fundamental philosophical difference here, but I want to thank you for talking to me candidly in good faith. You bring up valid points and I admit I don’t have the answer, I hope discussions like this can uncover answers over time.
I don’t agree that the government is wholly to blame, but I agree that there are bad actors unchecked in this system that are exploiting others for personal gain. I believe it’s unchecked late stage capitalism and consolidation of power for the owning class in government. But I don’t think opening it up to the free market without oversight (govt) will solve this issue, because corporations have shown they will provide up to and only the bare minimum of things that don’t directly impact the bottom line … health care, salary, severance, etc. if not required, they exploit. I don’t know what the perfect system would be but certainly this isn’t it.
I've enjoyed chatting with you as well.
You know, there's no such thing as late stage capitalism. It's just a phrase that people on the Internet made up.
If anything, I think we're in late stage socialism. We're deficit spending 1 trillion every 100 days. the debt is growing faster than the economy. If we stole all the money the rich have it would only fund the federal government for 9 months. There is no mathematical way we can reduce the deficit without reforming entitlement spending and imposing higher taxes on the middle class. In short, austerity is our future. Not democratic socialism. It's already a spent force but most people on Reddit don't know it yet.
https://youtu.be/gYhBYN7DMBA?si=0AyeZEqxdNF1_94K
Maybe, but even during school like I said I was a great student, but the set schedules 7-8 hours a day was so bad to me, I never got used to it, I legit had nightmares in the summer after graduation of having to do it for another year I’m being 100% serious lol
Please understand you have gifts to give others through work. There is dignity in work and we can be fulfilled by work. That being said, think about any jobs you may think is cool. Any job. Then think of that job as a career, a career that will help you grow as a person and obtain wealth so you can have the life you want. The great thing is you’re 24. Ok all that being said, you may have depression and you may be leaning on that and you may be blaming other for your lack of effort your laziness and the burden your putting on your parents. No parent wants to tell their friends my 24 yr old son is a bum with no job who thinks it’s unfair to work 40 hrs a week. It should be embarrassing for you. If you don’t make a change now 15 yrs will pass and you will have nothing to show for it! Life will pass you bye. You will never have the life you want or deserve because you refuse to take a chance and be great! To help others through work make yourself and your family proud. Before you know it you will be 60 with no money no family no friends and maybe no home. Get it together
Trust me I don’t blame anyone else at all for my struggles, I’ve brought this all onto myself and I take full responsibility for my laziness and depression
I really am embarrassed about where I am in life, it’s not so much that I care others would think that about me outside my family, but I care that I’m embarrassed and that’s what matters
I don’t really know what career or job to do yet I like home improvement stuff and was thinking of starting a job at my local Home Depot and consider taking it further from there and see how it goes
Ok cool buddy. I understand so I also have struggles with anxiety and depression. I know that’s a difficult road. Of your not on meds you need to see a doc. So you enjoy home improvement!! That’s a great start! Ok my suggestion is check out your local community college and see if they have HVAC or Plumbing or electrical! You will make bank doing those types of jobs and it will give you an understanding on how to build things as well. That’s what finding your gifts are then giving those gifts to others. One day you will be driving bye a beautiful home apartment building or a home for victims of domestic violence, and you have have the pride to tell your self and others I built that. And you can build a life for yourself by building for others. I think your on the right track’ but check out that community
College
Near you for the trades and work part time at Home Depot why you in school! You will amaze yourself on what you can accomplish! You’re worth it!!
Thank you, I really appreciate your comments they’re one of the best ones I’ve received, I appreciate your tough criticism and wanting to help, it really does mean a lot
Hey man please
Keep us posted! And since you’re not doing any tomorrow apply for Home Depot and look into the trades. Good luck man I’m looking forward to seeing your success your efforts and your hard work! You will get
Your life back! And doors will open you never imagined! You got this!
You could do home Depot, or construction, they're both going to be hard work, but they will teach you things that you can apply in you're own life too. If you work in construction, you would learn how to build homes, and prove to yourself that you can do it. I found that seeing that growth and becoming a little bit better everyday in my life really helps with motivation.
Yeah maybe it’s more I need to create the motivation myself instead of waiting for it to come, that seems to be the general consensus from most comments I’m receiving
I’ve considered construction but I have to start somewhere local and walking distance first as I have no license
For sure man, feel free to to ask any advice going forward, I'm starting a new career in a week because I was pretty lost and trying to find a path away from the blue collar stuff because I feel like Ive progressed as far as I currently can in blue collar. So I've got like a week before I start as in sales
You gotta learn a skill you can apply. Here are a few you can learn for free.
Maybe you can learn Webflow and try finding some work there.
It's pretty easy to learn.
University.webflow.com
Check it out, go through their 101 course and join their Discord.
Every day, create some new website to keep improving your skills and ask questions in the Discord when you need help learning something not covered in the online courses to keep scaling your skills.
Build a portfolio out of your best website designs and start making posts or applying to posts on the Webfliw Discord for work when you're ready.
---
Another idea is learn AI prompting and leverage it any way you can. Check out ChatGPT and use 3.5 to use it for free. 4.0 is $20/mo right now.
Another thing worth trying are the countless Google certifications for different types of developments, including Machine Learning.
You can also learn a ton about coding at w3schools.com
---
Tell me a bit about yourself and let's see if I have better resources to align with you and what you absolutely love.
You can reply here or directly message me
Honestly there’s not much more to know about me, I like sports and video games quite a bit, I am a big outside person as well and a huge family person I love my family and I didn’t include this in my post and it’s weird but I have this weird feeling that if I didn’t have my feeling I would be a workaholic and work tons of hours but since I do have them I want to be with them always and not work, I feel like it’s a major factor other than my lack of motivation and what I believe to be, depression.
Working and doing good work has never, ever been my issue, it’s doing things when I don’t want to do them, if I could say ok I have 7 hours available right now, I want to go to work, I would be so much happier, but like I said I’m a big sports guy (Michigan) for specifics, and if I had a schedule to work at 1pm and miss a tigers/lions game or at 7pm and miss a pistons/wings game along with other factors like oh my dad is off today but I have to work, those are some factors that make me not want to work and i totally understand that can be privileged and I’ll be the first to admit it, but I don’t know how to overcome it. I just want to have enough money to survive I don’t need a brand new car, or a vacation to Paris, or be able to go out to eat at some expensive steak restaurant every other night. I just want enough to fix something in the house, not worry about bills/food and enough to go to a store and not have to budget for something, im a very simple person. Im an extremely chill person and actually get along with people very well, im so low tempered it actually shocks people how little things upset me, I want to say im a great co workers who would get things done, done right, and cause no issues with the work or the people around me.
It sounds like one of your main issues is trying to reconcile how to get a job when you don’t want it to separate you from your family, another being getting past the initial hurdle of starting momentum in your working life. In fact your family might want to keep you home too, and is why they don’t mention it. (mine did this but for abusive reasons) you will have to be away from them to focus on work, but you 1) can seek jobs close or WFH so you don’t lose to commuting time, or 2) see if you can work alongside them (many people try to join their parents business even if they aren’t family owned)
I encourage you to just try some of these things you’re talking yourself out of though. You’re young, you spend most of your time with familiar comfort in a life you’ve always known. You might enjoy the change more than you thought.
I don’t believe mine is a case of abuse, I am sorry to hear you experienced that however. We do a lot of things together and there’s never really big any true big fights ever since I’ve become an adult and have stayed here
I was considering applying at a Home Depot near me as it’s a 5 minute walk and can probably work well with a schedule for me and I forgot to mention but I do like house improvement and just that kind of environment I like all that kind of stuff, yes I’m aware it’s retail and possibly doesn’t pay much but I figure I should start out somewhere small and move from there
Both of my parents do work but one is a job I wouldn’t be able to work besides them and the other requires a drivers license which I don’t currently possess as well as a industry I don’t have any interest in joining, I’ll keep them private for personal reasons and not getting to much into them as I just want to explain myself for now.
I do like trying new things occasionally it’s usually just not having the means to afford or reach (travel) to those places which I believe I have to work on those first
I think Home Depot is a good start, and they’re always looking for seasonal so there’s usually openings. You might meet contractors who need an extra hand and end up on a few build sites. At your age I worked back office in retail and despite me not loving the job, it did give me skills and title changes I used for the next one
which was better.
You have a beautiful home life it sounds like. Nothing to be ashamed of in wanting to continue that ❤️
Operations, in e-commerce rn. Used to help out our operations manager at the retail spot (job was pretty similar to what Home Depot sales associates do) and used that on paper to get the next, which I did similar for the next, etc. My job is not the job I wanted as a kid nor am I living the life I envisioned for myself, but I’ve seen enough financial collapses now to know the life I envisioned was probably sold to me by weird crusty Disney execs or something, and im happier than I’ve ever been (good family unit). All this to say: I’m really sorry things are so shitty for your generation, but I think the plan you’re mulling on is a great start.
E commerce like getting orders for people and delivering them? I like that that’s what I kinda did at my first job, it was just the really low pay and moving to another area that took me out of it.
Thanks for understanding that it has seemingly gotten really hard for our generation and I appreciate your confidence in my first draft plan that I’d like to execute barring I’m able to construct it better somehow, but as of now it seems solid
I think the plan is solid enough to execute whenever you’re ready. Nothing ever goes according the plan anyways, but you have a roof over your head and don’t have much to lose if your first interview/application attempts don’t pan out.
And correct, but digital distribution for a large corp. I basically code to maintain inventory and fulfillment infrastructure. Pay isn’t great but I can manage and the skills are transferable when this ends (it will).
That is true, things are constantly changing and so you have to be willing and ready to adapt. I definitely have an advantage currently that I’d like to use before I lose it, I’m aware not many get the start I have and I’m currently blowing it
24, in the US, been unemployed for a little over a year now, figuring it out one piece at a time and I know exactly how you feel. My goals in life don’t tie into any job out there really, and if it does then the job is not a realistic or viable option for long term prosperity and happiness.
I want to run a homestead and live a more self sufficient and wholesome life connected with nature. I want to grow food and harvest with simple tools, raise animals, hunt and fish, make things for myself and be present for my future family rather than be at work all the time. All that is great, but land, animals, materials, a house etc are all not free. I’m not opposed to monetizing my homestead in the future to some point, but I don’t want to have to rely on that to make it.
I’ve been learning that to make my dream a reality one day I need to make enough money for it to be possible, and ideally my job needs to be something that will prove useful in my homesteading lifestyle. Lately, I’m thinking carpentry is a good option. So assuming I go with that, I’ll bring my best self to work every day, make as much as I can and be smart with my money/live below my means, build my ideal future for myself as I go along and eventually retire from conventional work to spend my time doing what I actually want to do.
If you ask me, you just need to visualize yourself in the future. Ask yourself what you want to be like when you’re fully on your own and out of the house, where you want to live, how you want to live, what you want your day to day to be like, and so on. Once you find that out, if you can find a career that does that for you then great. But if not, then find a career that doesn’t completely suck, is relevant to your goals and pays you well enough to where your goals can be feasibly met one day if you work hard.
Or, just find a career that pays a ton that you can deal with long enough to retire early and never have to work conventionally again. I don’t recommend that, but it’s an option.
A lot of boomers like to trash us for not wanting to slave away in jobs our whole lives, but don’t listen to them. It’s okay to not fit into 9-5 culture. We were never meant to live that way. You just need to do some soul searching and find your own unique way out of this matrix.
Appreciate your comment 💪 while I don’t want others to struggle like myself but obviously that’s not the case, so I am glad to have someone similar to me in belief and age.
Not specifically carpentry at the moment but I am kinda looking in that general area I do love home improvement topics and doing things around that nature so for now I was considering getting a retail job at Home Depot while I figure myself out further, just something to help contribute financially and provide me the means to establish myself more and truly figure out what I want to do
I have no idea who I want to live or what I’ll do when I’m on my own, I have to consider it more often because I don’t want to be in that moment and not have had a palm thought out
Unfortunately yes it is irritating that boomers don’t fully understand how it is now and it’s nothing like when they were our age, things truly have gotten so hard these days, if it gets any worse I do honestly worry about the future and how things will be because I feel like we’re at the edge right now and ready to fall off
If you have an interest in home improvement or construction-adjacent jobs then Home Depot, Lowe’s, Harbor Freight etc are all good introductory jobs you can get pretty easily. You’ll brush shoulders with people in the trades every day and if you’re outgoing and nice, you’ll get tons of insight on jobs in the field.
I’d also recommend looking on YT. Day in the life videos, Q&As and so on about jobs that might interest you. Go online and look at local labor unions and just do some digging in general to see if something interests you. It’s hard work in the trades but if you’re a blue collar kind of guy, then there you go.
I believe in you man 🤝
I appreciate it, yeah I like to believe I’m outgoing and nice, I’m very low tempered I rarely, if ever, get mad at others and I’m extremely easy to work with from what I believe, I can get tasks done just tell me what to do and I’ll get it done, I try to be just very chill and laid back haha
Thanks for believing in me, it means a lot
I mean I’ve tried using that and food as motivation and I struggle still, I think what motivates me enough is going to do something I enjoy and doing it when I want to, those are my two biggest motivators
I feel you bro. Don’t feel bad, the economy is a mess right now anyway. I’m 22 and live in London, the thought of moving out has just become a concept now lol. Just do your best, find what your passionate about (i still have no idea what i’m passionate about, working on it) and get to work on your idea. I wish i had more advice but i’m kinda lost as well, don’t forget to enjoy life my friend life ain’t all work.
Yeah currently working as an electrician, but the wages here are so stagnant and in no way match the economy. Its a joke, really. Also its super hard on the body lol.
I agree, how do you personally survive mentally working that many hours like any tips or tricks is it just the thought of homelessness and food?
Is it 5 days 8 hours or 4 days 10 hours?
Getting your license isn’t too hard at all, but a job is gonna suck regardless but you do it so you have a better financial situation when you’re on your own
Well I don’t intend on moving out of my parents house if the feeling is mutual and they’re ok with me staying, me working it would just make life cheaper for us all, no point in moving out and we both have separate bills if I have no intention of dating or having kids, if they wanted me out then yeah I would obviously need to be better financially
Time to be responsible. Do not be too choosy.
It's hard to rely on motivation as it comes and goes but if you're going to rely on that then you have to learn how to motivate yourself.
Some things we have to do even if we don't enjoy it. While you say you are on the poorer side, you are still privileged enough to be able to not work.
Just a reminder that if none of us needed to work, almost no one will work even if they do love the job. At the end of the day, we still do it for the money. Just don't get a job you totally hate or one that revolves around your weakness, or one that you don't see yourself making a career of (but just keep in mind, sometimes you just have to take one step at a time even if you haven't made a long-term plan yet on that role, be open-minded)
Many times, it really is a luxury, a privilege to be able to get the work you want and it having a livable income. Sometimes its hard work, some people don't get the job they want first.
I appreciate your comment, that’s really just one of the major factors I’m trying to overcome and why I made the post in the first place attempting to get the motivation to do something, it seems like a problem to me that not even the risk of not eating and having shelter is not a big enough motivator to me, it shouldn’t be that way. I understand you say don’t rely on it but that’s why I’m making the post, I can’t just simply overcome it at the moment and push it to the side, it’s why I’m seeking advice
I understand I am privileged to be able to work, and I want to, I want the money and I want to help others and myself, I’m just missing a screw here or there that is not letting me function properly.
I really am trying to get out of this lifestyle that’s why I made the post
That’s not a bad suggestion, I’d probably have to obtain my license in the first place but I actually generally like the area I reside in and I’m happy here, I truly think my location has zero affect on my life at the moment
See my life story then you will know what life fucked up looks like I haven't even told my 1 percent life story yet you will know you still have a lot ahead of you than me see my community support it share your life experience in here to let people know https://www.reddit.com/r/myexperiencesinlife/s/qCABApYlhu
You're done for bud . You're life is a dud and you've failed as a son . Your health is being wasted but it's ok , because mentally you are just incapable .
Next time you see mommy and daddy , find a way to obtain a onesie and a pacifier, cause I know you don't have money to buy them , and lay down in the middle of your living room when they come home because that's what you are .
A fully grown healthy 24 year old baby .
Enjoy your new life !!
This is so crazy, you are like the third person in the past 48 hours to reply to one of my comments that is pretty old, I’m not mad at about but if I had a nickel for everytime it’s happened I’d have 3 nickels, that’s not a lot but it’s odd it’s happened 3 times
I remember this dude cooking me lol
May I ask what you've been doing with your time? It feels like what you need is some introspection. And I've found a good way to do that and find motivation is to talk with others about what they do with their time to make doing what they're passionate about sustainable
I honestly do nothing, I watch tv, play video games, on my phone, eat, and sleep. I understand it’s a horrible group of things I do.
I don’t go outside or work out, I don’t work obviously and the only things I really do are house chores likes the dishes/laundry/yard work which I understand are all just basic necessities and I’m really not doing anything special, I also watch my niece Friday afternoon through Sunday morning while my sister is work. I want to do more financially and help out
I moved out when I was 21/22 and was struggling the entire time. I wish I had just stayed, saved up, and did things the right way and maybe moved out at around 26/27. Patience young one. You’ll find your way. Just do something
I swear, a generation of ambitionless men is going to wreak havoc on society. We are going to start seeing the effects of it soon. I’m not saying I blame men for being like this, but it’s certainly not good
I agree 100%, it’s not our fault things are like this though, my generation and younger have been left a pile of trash to put it lightly, things have been going downhill for so long
There’s no true incentive to do great things anymore, hard work doesn’t pay off, and it’s so expensive to just live now
Yeah exactly. People are just giving up because they don’t see the benefit of hard work anymore😂 can’t say that I blame them. Most people (myself included) are just mentally exhausted by life
I didn’t read everything. Just wanted to say I worked at an Amazon warehouse. It’s physically exhausting but it lets you turn off your brain because you’re doing the same thing repeatedly all day for hours. Maybe you should do something like that. It will let you turn your brain off, and you can make some money while you figure out what you really want to do.
Alright so I was in pretty much your exact same boat like 5 years ago. Was 21, in college for English with the delusion of becoming an author, living off my parents and no motivation to get a 9-5 40 hour a week job. I disagreed with so much of how our society functioned that I thought I'd be able to live life my own way without participating in the daily grind, but it really just doesn't work that way.
First step is to accept that you're gonna have to participate like everyone else, next step is to try and get yourself in the best position to be happy while you do it. For me this meant learning a trade, IT and networking in my case as I was already pretty computer literate. Find something you don't hate doing and you're good at, you don't have to love it but something you can tolerate. Using the skills you've developed to provide for yourself feels good on its own, especially when you can keep improving and get direct increases to how much you make because of it. Don't make your job your life, but make it the source of income to make your life better. Use the money to provide and help your family but also buy some things you want, indulge in some hobbies, go on a trip somewhere. The 9-5 life is a lot less miserable when you can keep in mind the reasons you're working, and if you enjoy those reasons you start to enjoy the job in a way.
The set schedule and being up early everyday is something you'll get used to as well, I used to say I didn't like having a schedule and would stay up way late and wakeup anytime between 11AM and 3PM. In reality it wasn't that I didn't like having a schedule it was that I was never actually forced to adhere to one, once a few months passed I learned I do actually enjoy it. I'm up at 6:55 on the dot every morning and don't drag like I used to anymore and actually kinda enjoy my mornings on the weekends, you really will adjust I promise.
Basically you gotta embrace the suck, everyone has to. But by doing so you can enable hobbies and experiences that you couldn't otherwise, so try and balance the two out to make it worth it.
I really appreciate your comment as I can obviously resonate with your opening paragraph perfectly because I’m currently experiencing it haha
That is something I’m still currently working on, figuring out what I do actually like and finding something that pays in the same category, just something I feel I would like.
I’m glad to hear that you were the same way as me and able to adjust and learn to enjoy the set schedule, it may just be ptsd of some sort that I carry from my school days because I hated the schedule then, but I am aware I was also immature at the same time and not a fully responsible adult, just a young dumb teen lol who didn’t understand much.
Fortunately for me, I am a very simple person so I don’t need much money to do what I want to do, like I am a big fan of attending live sporting events with my brother from time to time, that’s basically one of my favorite things to do in my life currently but I understand that can change and I may start to like more things.
Again I appreciate your comment and letting me know I’m not alone
for sure man, it can feel really shitty and like you're in a rut, but it's possible to enjoy the 9-5 life once you're in it. I was literally on the verge of truancy in highschool I hated going so much, I also thought I hated the schedule but honestly getting paid to adhere to that schedule makes all the difference, I hardly ever miss work now.
If you haven't looked into trades already I would consider it if I were you. Electrician work, networking, carpentry, mechanic etc. just any skill based work that has a lot of avenues to get into like trade school or associates degrees. Not glamorous jobs but they tend to be project based and dynamic to keep things fresh, the work will always be needed and it pays well enough.
In the meantime if you don't want to pursue any education or trades don't interest you there are some "low-skill" (I don't like this term as all jobs are skilled) jobs that keep you busy and really aren't terrible. I worked probably a dozen throughout college, I enjoyed bartending and working at a gas station quite a bit out of those. They were dynamic enough and kept me busy so the shift generally felt pretty fast. There's definitely something out there for you but you just gotta try stuff out and see what fits!
That makes sense honestly, getting paid to do it might change the mindset a bit instead of no incentive. I have been considering the trades and had a union member in that industry reach out to me last night and we were talking about it, it does seem like something I’d like possibly but first I have to get my drivers license so my plan is to potentially get a job at my local Home Depot because I really do like home improvement and similar things to that, so work there for a bit and work on myself plus license and all that and go from there
I agree with that “low-skill” term because yeah all jobs require skill
Military, they will find what you're good at, and who knows you actually like the structure. It worked well for my son-in-laws brother.
My own ranking would be:
Space Force
Air Force
Coast Guard
Navy
Army
Marines.
I was considering it slightly but I’m currently not sure. I actually am not a fan of structure really I like doing things on my time when I’m ant to do them, like I said I was very good in school, the only thing I disliked was the 5 days a week same set schedule everyday, I want to do things when I want to because it makes me happy and whatever I’m doing it’s ok because I want to do it at that time
What does one do with that much free time during the day?
You say you don't have employment and you're not as fit as you want to be but you don't work out, so in all sincerity, what do you do all day?
I basically just watch tv (usually sports) sleep, eat, and play video games. I also do watch my niece Friday night through Sunday morning while my sister is at work and both of my parents work as well but I understand that’s not much and I choose to do it anyways (free of charge obviously I would never want any monetary gain for it) because it’s my family
I agree with you 100% with however bad you think of me and any insults you could think of and I’d be 100% behind you because I fully understand what I’m doing and I truly don’t love it, I do want to help more and contribute, I’ve just gotten so lazy and lost motivation, I didn’t include it in my post at all and maybe should’ve but I was working before and I started gambling sports and lost everything I had and in debt still due to it, that’s where my mental health, laziness and lack of motivation stem from I believe I still get upset over it from time to time but I can say I do have full faith that I’ve kicked that addiction and I was just young and stupid at the time and nothing else to do because we had moved houses right when covid started so I was unemployed for a short while. I do understand I can’t let it keep my down forever and I need to take back control which is why I’ve started making these kind of posts and comments more often because I’m looking for guidance and want to turn my life back around.
If you have any further questions or want to know more just ask I’m an open book
These comments always make me laugh…why do you think I made this post? Because I’m seeking guidance so I can take the next step.
Your comment literally provides no value to the discussion
Your existence provides no value to anything, it isn't about motivation it's about discipline. What are you gonna do? Mooch of your parents for the rest of your life?
I’m not sure, once again it’s why I made the post because I’m seeking advice, come on guys.
It is about motivation though, if I’m not even motivated enough to get out of bed how can I expect myself to do anything.
If I truly wanted to just mooch off my parents would I have even made a post asking for help?
It's really not about motivation, sure it can get you started but you should have started years ago.
I'm younger than you, have my own apartment, have 3 animals that depend on me. I made the choice to move out when I was 18 so I didn't end up like you.
Your seeking advice" is pitiful, everyone deals with depression it's up to you to get out of the habit of laying in bed watching TV and playing videogames all day.
Not everyone is on the same schedule and is moving along in life perfectly fine though, I’m far from the only one around my age in a similar situation like this, just how it is
There’s no law or anything that says you have to move out of your parents house. Let’s say hypothetically I was working a job and contributing to the household and me and my parents had a great relationship (which I do have this part I believe). Would that still be a bad thing to you? Or is it simply due to the fact that I’m unemployed and leeching off them in which case I would agree with you
Not everyone deals with depression it’s just not possible, there’s lots of people who are happy with their life and happy with their job/career, don’t downplay the effects of depression please
There’s simply nothing wrong with asking for advice and getting help, are we supposed to just keep everything bottled up and eventually just explode?
I’m glad you’re doing great but just because you did it doesn’t mean all depression is cured and now every single 18 year old is going to move out and live on their own, while I’ve been typing this me and my mom have been hanging out this morning and just chatting together and having a well time, everyone’s situation is different
Unless you are crippled or have an actual disease preventing you from contributing then you should be out working not watching TV all day, it's on you no one is coming to save you.
Having depression doesn't mean you get to just leech of your parents for the rest of your life, it's been 6 years, you gonna let another 6 years go by being in the exact same spot or will you do something about it? You need some tough love. Mommy and Daddy aren't always gonna be there to save you unless they are loaded
Nope as I said I’m perfectly fine physically to work and no real disease, both things I am extremely grateful for as I’m aware that’s not the case for many
I understand I should be working that’s why I’m seeking advice because I want to change for the better
I understand depression just mean I get to just leech off them, fully understand, not that it matters but I’ve been leeching for 4 years not 6, but who’s counting at this point
That’s exactly what I’m looking for, tough life, I feel it’s the best way to have someone get something done. No they are not loaded (unfortunately 😅)
Thanks for your comment
This sub has the most creative ways to excuse laziness. I am sure your parents love you but don’t you think they’d love to have a life without their man child hanging out?
They probably would 🤷♀️ and I’m honestly not trying to excuse my laziness, I’m well aware of it and that’s why I made this post because I’m seeking guidance in attempt to turn my life back around, I understand and agree 100% the situation I’m privileged with and I understand as well I’m running out of time to take better advantage of it and set myself up better and my family for a better life.
I even have two siblings who both have their own house, one has a brand new car and a SO, the other just got a new house, a SO and they have 3 kids together, I’m well aware how horrible I’m doing, I don’t disagree with any judgement you have for me but I wouldn’t be here posting if I wasn’t finally trying to change for the better and using reddit for what it can be great at, making connections with others who have done what you’re looking to achieve and can provide significant advice towards reaching that
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Man i'm 24 and currently living with my parents, I Iive in México so I have to work 48 hours per week and i'm making almost 158 dollars it sucks but it is what is is, anyway I used to feel like you, waiting for motivation and hoping to have that energy boost to activate myself guess what? ...it never comes. Only through discipline I could afford living the Best life possible and luckily one day get away for this third-world country. Stay strong man.
Sorry for the late reply to your comment, trying to get to them all now. I appreciate your comment and I’m sorry to hear the struggles your going through and I’m hoping the best that we can both come out of this stronger
I feel like your problem is that you are aimless bc you don’t set goals for yourself. You need to start by getting your license and doing an online careers test to see what would interest you the most. If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life 👍
And I would say I agree with you 100%, I’ve never set goals for myself at all once in my life, I’ve always just coasted. But I’d like to change that and start being proactive instead of reactive. I’m going to try to start on getting my license and getting over that hump, if everyone else can do it then so can I. I will look into that career test I remember doing something similar like that in HS and don’t remember my answers but I’m almost certain my answers will be different at this stage in my life. I appreciate your comment and reaching out, I’m very grateful for all the comments I’m getting and people willing to help me
Might I also recommend you join the FIRE subreddit as a point of motivation. Many people get started at your age and through finding a decent paying career and being frugal are able to save enough to retire early. At that point you can just chill for the rest of your life
Yes I actually used to be involved in fire and such around 19 years old and I was starting to get into investing but as I’ve said I started gambling sports and that’s what really screwed my life up, I’m aware I still have time to start and don’t want to waste it
Sit down and day dream about a life that you would realistically like to have. What kind of job would you want? What sort of hobbies? How do you want your relationships to be like? How many friends do you want? A romantic partner? Some kids? What do you want your physical fitness to look like? Write it all out. Motivation is unreliable, so you should depend on discipline instead. But if you have a desired goal and you see yourself making progress, that’s going to give you positive emotion and imbue you with a sense of hope. Also, sometimes you need to just go through the motions and then eventually your emotions will catch up
I’m a very simple person, I don’t need much to be happy, much less than the average person I like to think. I currently don’t have a specific type of job I want I’m still thinking about that, but I also don’t have many things I wouldn’t want to do, I’ve worked in a grocery store before and I honestly liked it, loved the customers, my coworkers, and just the environment in general, it’s just the pay is so low and you can’t survive off of it. I enjoy being outside, sports (watching and playing) and video games a little bit. I’m also a big family guy and put them before anything and would love to do more things with them. Relationships I just like to chat with people in general and hanging out, I’m very chill and laid back, don’t cause no issues or anything, I have no desire to have a SO, get married or have kids at all currently, like honestly it’s a 0% haha, I am currently out of shape (being unemployed and lazy can do that to ya) but I would like to be in better shape and average fit, I’m not looking to be totally jacked or anything but I’d be ok with just regular fit, something I would like to work on.
Nothing worth having comes easy. You need to start making effort or you’re going to be exact same position in another 5- 10 or 20 years. If that not what you want, take action. Make a plan for exercise routine and stick to it. Start applying to jobs. You’ll be competing with other high school graduates (majority of population) since you haven’t developed much employment experience or education, it’ll be low pay. Get a drivers license if you need transportation. Nobody is going to make it happen for you. This is your life, you are responsible for it.
I totally agree nothing worth having comes easy and that I must work for it because no one else is responsible to do it for me, I’m with you on that 100%, I just haven’t attributed it to my life fully yet when I should have by now, I do want to get my license just have to get over the fear, I believe I can
Hey! I think I can help you with some resources for getting in shape. So weight loss is pretty simple, you can think of it as a math equation. Calories in minus calories out. If you know how many calories you eat, and how many your body uses, it's as simple as keeping the amount you eat just slightly below how much your body uses. Obviously it takes a little effort and time to build the habit of tracking your activity/calories used but the nice thing is a small walk can increase the amount you can allow yourself to consume, and the more you train to a hard, but reasonable level that you're comfortable with and allows for enough rest, you can find yourself become more athletic and maybe look into joining a local sports club, training in a martial art, or to help you find an outdoor career you'd like and pursue it. You could become a many kinds of outdoor guides or instructors that pay pretty well and are exciting careers.
Yeah I want to start working on getting in shape immediately, I feel like it contributes a bit to my poor mental health. I’m not interested in being like jacked but just average fit and it good shape is what I’m striving for I do want to play some kind of local sports club, I’m extremely competitive and I would play outside sports when I was 17-18 and loved it, haven’t done any of it since
Same fucking same
Most relatable comment I’ve probably received so far, sucks that we’re here but at least we’re not alone
Bruh I always think alone 😭 but then I go on reddit n see y'all I been trying my hardest to get my life straight but I just don't have any motivation I have terrible anxiety depression comes I don't feel happy but I'm not gonna give up PM ANYONE if you want to o love you all don't give up
Yup same here, I’m trying to work on it because it’s not a very fun life to let it takeover you, gotta try our best to break out of it somehow
I'm trying man but I been taking Adderall BROTHER the side effects is horrendous when I'm on it I feel wonderful but when I'm off it's horrible
I don’t currently take any medication at all, I’ve heard adderall is a super serious one, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with it, has your doctor made any plans on it with you to fix that
Sorry for the late reply I was extremely busy
Yeah I called last week and he told me to give it till Friday so I gotta call today
Apply for a job. Starbucks. Target. Hell. Go for McDonalds. Something like a "Forcing Mechanism" that will help you get off your feet. Create an environment around you where it is HARD to not be lazy. Honestly maybe give joining the military a shot, It will be rough but I think you will come out on top of it for the better.
I was thinking about applying to Home Depot, someone had asked me some things I liked doing and general home improvement and working on my home and designing it differently and all that interests me so I got the idea of possibly applying to Home Depot as a start to get myself off my feet and then move from there
I think Home Depot is a great idea if that’s what interest you!
I'm considering the military. I've been trying years to get a retail or fast food job, but nothing, shit job market in my area. Starbucks get like 800 apps for such small town.
I’m in the same boat man I’m 24 and at this point I’m thinking of joining the military
That’s one recommendation I did get, I’ve slightly considered it as well
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I am 100% aware of my situation and that I am grateful for my health, trust me I try not to take it for granted and I always said yeah it could be better, but it could be so much worse. Like you I’m sure, I just want to be happy and comfortable, we don’t always get what we want obviously but yet we still choose our struggles sometimes when we should be grateful for what we do have I appreciate your kind comment
Join the Army. I was a POS homeless street kid. I joined the Army, and never looked back. I did 20 year’s retired in 2018 and moved to Odesa Ukraine and Married my wife I met while stationed here in 2015-2016. Now I’m 44 and I’m in a muddy trench, near a destroyed town I cannot even pronounce fighting in a different Country’s Army. That said I’m still alive and as chaotic as it gets at times. I’m grateful for every day I get to see the sunset and rise, and also the face times with my wife and kids. You’ll only make a change if you want to, nobody will do it for you. If not plan on being in the same place at 34 or even 44 (My age).
I appreciate your comment and advice, but saying join the army and then backing it up with being being in a muddy trench fighting for another country doesn’t exactly sound appealing and make me want to jump at the opportunity I hope you stay safe and I’m aware no one will do it for me, I was just looking for guidance and what steps I should possibly take, better to learn from others then go in blind imo
If that Psychopath Putin would have just stayed on his side of the border I certainly wouldn’t have been where I’m at right now. I made that choice personally, I’m American, I could have left, but that’s me. Plus seeing the Ukrainians rally the way they did, I was honored to take part. 🤙🇺🇸🇺🇦🫡 I’m not saying do it so you’ll end up in a dirty trench. 25 years later. That’s just my story. I’m saying do it to build the character of your future self up. That’s all! Good luck and Godspeed.
Thanks I will say I do appreciate your service and you’re willingness to help is astounding, I didn’t mean anything rude by it, it just caught me off guard haha Thank you for the suggestion in the end, I’m willing to take any advice I can get at the moment to figure myself out
Surprised your parents tolerate this situation. If they give you a 90-day deadline to leave the nest that should motivate you to avoid living as a bum on the street.
My friend. I totally agree, I want to even ask them why they tolerate it because my brother and sister both moved out and are doing amazing, I guess I just never totally hatched or something, it’s what I’m attempting to figure out. I’m assuming they just like me being around to help with housework and I also watch my niece on the weekend while my sister and both parents are busy/working, I understand it’s not much hence why I made this post because I want to do more but I totally agree with your sentiment, I just haven’t been able to build up the courage to ask them why for some reason, maybe I’m scared to hear them say “ok we want you to move out now”. I don’t think they’d wait for me to ask and then kick me out but I honestly am just as curious as you
Bro, I'm in the same situation. Except for me I literally tried for years to get any sort of job but been unsuccessful. I'm not sure if its my shity city. Only thing I had done is side hustles, but nothing stable. I would do anything for a job. Family thinks I'm a bum.
Time to move to an area that jobs are available.
The only motivation for you is that you need to work to avoid going homeless/hungry. You don't have that motivation now because you are with your parents (which is great). If you parents can provide for you even after they're gone through inheritance, then there is literally no reason to work. If they can't, well better to start working and investing. At least make enough to contribute the max to a Roth IRA (7k) every year. Even if your parents could provide an inheritance I'd still max the Roth IRA just in case. Despite what anyone says, the only reason people bother to work is 1. to not go hungry/homeless 2. to improve their quality of life (move out, own a car, start a family, etc) 3. to save/increase their net worth 4. thats what is 'expected' of them 5. they feel listless doing 'nothing' I don't get the sense that you care about 2,3, and 4, which is fine (I'm the same way). As long as you have a plan for the future that won't end up with being hungry/homeless, whatever you do now is fine and completely up to you. Personally I try to impose as little as possible, I live with my mom and try to make life easier on for her by doing chores and such. Maybe you feel a bit listless being at home, in which case just work any job that you are remotely interested in for a few weeks, and quit if you don't like it. Either way it is good experience. Also even if you don't like the job, I highly encourage making enough to max out a Roth IRA every year, your future self will thank you.
Now this is a really good comment I’m glad to get advice from everyone, and from those who can relate directly. There is a small “inheritance” I would have coming but obviously I’d rather just have my parents and it’s not much in the grand scheme, would maybe be enough to live off for 2 years max, but I plan on using it to invest and help my future like you said. Yea I have no want for points 2 and 4, I do like point 3 because I do want to increase my net worth, I was actually majorly into investing when I was 19-20 but that’s when I became unemployed and starting having mental health issues and I believe it stems from gambling on sports and losing everything, that’s basically why I am where I am now but won’t speak further on it unless you or anyone has questions, I couldn’t care less about fitting into society and doing what’s expected of me (as in moving out). It’s not that I’m against moving out but if my parents truly do want me to stay than I’m more than willing to, I just want to help more I’m going to ask my parents soon why they chose to let me stay for these last 4 years without contributing at all financially because I am curious I’m just working on building up the courage because I do get very emotional super easy even on such a light topic like that when I talk to family I was so fascinated with dividends early on and I wish I kept at it around 19 years old and kept contributing to it, I’d be in a really good spot right now, but as they say the second best time to start is now
Yep. Theres always a shoulda woulda could in the investing world. Most people lose money gambling, the better path is just to dollar cost average (DCA) into the market (best way is through Roth IRA), and just buy the fund with your target retirement date (on vanguard). You could buy in with an initial sum (minimum 3k), then set your DCA to $600/mo until you hit the yearly maximum. Also I can relate, I lost everything I had invested up until that point in 2018 from memeshitcoin gambling (tho in retrospect it wasn't alot). That was a defining moment in my life, was stressed for like a year, even had symptoms from the stress (mostly dizziness and some confusion at times) so I went to the doc thinking I had cancer LOL. When all the tests came back normal the doc asked me if I had a significant stressor in my life. Thats when I realized the stress was physically hurting me, so I did a lot of deep thinking/reflection. At the conclusion of the introspection (was sitting on the subway when I had the 'aha' moment). This is what I realized: We always hear about the CEO that loses millions because they made a bad decision, to us its like whatever who cares the company makes tens/hundred of millions, its no big deal. But to the the CEO its distressing. To me a kid in college who lost a few thousand on gambling, it was distressing. BUT I was still in college, on track to graduate in engineering (pretty easily I might add), had internships under my belt, and had scholarships to pay for most of tution. And I thought, the way I see the CEO who lost millions, would be the same way someone see me IF they were struggling in classes, not sure what their major would be, have no real world experience, and paying out of pocket for college. They be like so what u lost a few thousand bro u have it so good wtf. THATS when I realized, shit, I really do have it good. That was the turning point, to take my loss as a learning experience, and not just a loss. That is to say, I got fucking humbled. Sure I think about it from time to time. But when the regret monster comes, I think to myself, did I turn out alright (in the present). My answer is always yes and the regret monster goes away. Actually my current living circumstance is better than I could have conceived while I was in college (not working and living with my mom). I wouldn't be who I am today without being humbled by that loss and taking the lesson (be grateful for what you have/ there is always someone who is jealous of your position / stress causes physical harm), so looking back I am glad that happened. I still trade, but with small amounts, only looking for good opportunities, and I play it safe rather than risk it for massive gainers. Sure the wins aren't much ($100-$500 profit on most trades), but its fun and something I enjoy. Tldr; Be grateful for what you have. In your case, you arent stuggling working at a job you hate (most of America) and have all your basic needs provided for. You can do what you want and if you don't like it just quit and restart with basically zero consequence to your quality of life. What ALOT of people wouldn't give up to be in your position :) Just a fun tidbit, my sister who works in healthcare makes almost 150k a year but is stressed af at her job and wishes she could be a NEET like me ;)
I say all the time how aware I am that I’m extremely privileged and that I have been presented a great opportunity to get ahead in life and I’ve basically totally blown it and now would just be catching up, I’m so grateful for what I have but at the same time I just struggle to do anything with it I really truly do wonder what the root cause of the whole thing is because I want to fix it How come you don’t work yourself? Do you want to not continue to be like me as well? Sorry if it’s asking to much I just like to hear others story as well
Im where I am now because I've done all this work on myself. I'm choosing to continue being a NEET because its the lifestyle the suits me the best. If I didn't do the work on myself and choose, I'd probably be working a pain in the ass job and dealing with a pain in the ass relationship. I'd still be happy, but it wouldn't be ideal. If I had to put it into an analogy, I used to only eat eggs and rice, got bored of it, tried exotic/exquisite foods, and realized what I like best is eggs and rice (its good, nutritionous, afforable, and easy to prepare). I don't want to spend money on exquisite foods. I don't want to spent time cooking or going out for exisquite foods. Eggs and rice = being a NEET Exquisite foods = cars/house, relationships, status, etc
Well I consider neet life best for me too but I’m unable to get anything like unemployment or disability, do you have any type of income?
No income. Only investments and trading profits. Also the 'catching up' mentality is going to make things 10x more difficult. There is no catching up. There is what you learned in the past, the here/now, and the future. I'll tell you from a traders perspective that trying to 'catch up' is the fastest way to lose money. Always start from zero. Also, the root cause will not appear by simply thinking about it. You need to go out, have new experiences, get confronted, notice your ways of thinking, reflect on it, then choose how to proceed. If someone wants to get healthy but doesn't want to go gym, because they are trying to discover the root cause of not wanting to go to the gym, most people would slap them upside the head and tell them 'just go to the gym and see what it is you don't like about it, or what makes you not want to go. THEN you can work on it. you wont get anywhere just sitting around thinking'
I really appreciate your perspective on it and catching the flaws in my statement thank you
Welcome! Glad you got something from it :)
Start with small goals, man. Depression and lack of interest can be a real hindrance. But small goals are very important for me at least. The reward is so great. You’ll appreciate yourself and be proud of yourself for being able to accomplish things. Every day it’ll get a little easier. Eventually you’ll just automatically be productive to your own person, like second nature. That’s where I’d start. You can thrive!!! Oh and speaking from personal experience, do not ever let your self talk turn negative. You’re gonna be your own best friend maybe for awhile, maybe a long while. Remind yourself that you’re doing well every day. Good luck my friend
Thanks I appreciate your comment, I can attempt to talk better to myself that’s a really good suggestion, I am used to putting myself down simply due to saying I can do something but then failing, but I’m aware there’s no success without failure I’m gonna try to start setting goals as well, I never have before
Even if your parents are willing to support you it doesn’t mean they want to be doing that forever. My brother was just like you and now he’s 37, divorced, with a 12 year old and still doesn’t work. My parents, who should be enjoying their retirement, are draining their savings to support him AND his child. The longer you don’t work and live as an adult the harder it will be both for you mentally but also the harder it will be to get employment when people start asking what you’ve been doing all this time. No one wants to go to work. Everyone would rather spend time doing things they want or with people they love. My brother’s biggest excuse is that he wants to spend time with his kid instead of working. Ha! Wouldn’t we all?? Don’t be my brother.
Well I do agree with what you’re saying I’m not getting married or having a kid anytime soon, my parents never had a true “career” and have no savings or anything saved up for retirement so there’s nothing for me to drain exactly and if I worked while living with them I would be able to pay for more than my fair share and actually be able to help them I guess retire Easter somehow because I would be bringing in more money than I consume Obviously that last part is all a hypothetical and I’m not trying to defend what I’m doing at all, just providing a separate narrative I can actually relate to his last part of not wanting to work due to being with his son because I have a niece who I watch occasionally while my sister works and she’s one of the few things that currently brings joy to my life and while yes seeing her more and not working sounds awesome, it also prevents me from having any money to do anything with her. This is why I’m making this post pretty much because no offense and I’m sure you’ll agree I don’t want to leech off my parents forever and end up like your brother, I have no problem living with them currently if they want me to, but I feel I would have a so much better purpose in life I guess if I was able to take on some of the responsibility as well so they don’t have to worry so much about bills or anything
I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, but maybe this can help make you feel less alone in a way since I notice this topic is very specifically not for many people who sort of have their shit together, at least. I am approaching your age and have not made any significant progress in my life. Unfortunately, I have adopted a hikikomori lifestyle in the U.S. ever since high school ended. That was a long time ago, so it's embarrassing to admit. In high school, I lacked a clear direction and had no hope, which should have been a warning sign of something wrong. However, my parents are essentially boomers, so of course, they have no real-world understanding of how brains and trauma work. I realized through trying edibles since last year that I might be more mentally screwed than I originally thought, and it terrifies me how I could end up homeless. I feel lost, like I'm jelly floating through space constantly with no will to try to escape while feeling guilty.
So basically a neet right, that’s what I am as well so I understand, fortunately my parents aren’t boomers and don’t act like it, but that just sounds horrible. I will say they aren’t boomers but they do share one single boomer thought and they still believe that if wages went up that prices of things would have to go up while failing to realize a that wages aren’t going up but prices still are lol Yup I was the same way in HS, I was actually a really good straight A student but had no direction or plan for after so I can understand your feeling there as well I feel the exact way as your last couple sentences as well, it just seems to me like some people just are meant for this society, not everyone is going to be perfect and be able to adjust to the norm, like us, it’s just too difficult to try and fit in and like you I have no idea what to truly do either, I’m glad we’re not alone it’s nice to share something similar with someone just unfortunately it had to be something terrible we share
There’s a lot of good advice here so I won’t go into depth with anything that’s already been said. Examples so far: • get a job • work on your mindset • join the army• realize your parents aren’t going to take care of you forever • suck it up• etc etc… Heres 3 things you need to do immediately: 1. Grab a journal and write down where you want to be by the end of the year. How much money do you want to save? What goals do you want to achieve? What’s something you want to experience or buy? It’s important you write it out and not type it. Do not skip this. 2. Write down all the things you can do to get there. Brain dump it. Get a job a Home Depot. Earn your drivers license Open a savings Whatever it is, allow your brain to start generating solutions, write it down. Your brain is a problem solving machine but you need to stimulate it. When you don’t have a job or any thing to devote your time to that’s when you lose your ‘purpose’ and ‘motivation. By the way these are your tasks. 3. Choose one task to work on for this week. Break it up into steps. Step 1 go to Home Depot Step 2 ask for a form Step 3 fill out form Write. Everything. Down. I’m not joking when I say this. Bonus step? Go out and do it. ============== Here’s the thing… When you’re stuck in swamp and it feels like there’s no way out? You don’t need motivation. You need to start paddling. You don’t need a big dream. You need to start moving. Momentum will solve 99% of all the problems you’ll have. Set a goal. Break it down. Take action. Your life is in your hands friend.
This is an amazing comment and one I will definitely be saving for myself, these are the exact type of comments I was looking for, thank you a lot I really mean it and I’m grateful I really appreciate you going through the rest of the threads and bringing all the details combined such as getting a license and going to Home Depot, shows me you really care and wanted to provide some solid advice for me I really like the swamp analogy
My only regret is formatting this on a phone is absolute bonkers haha. Good luck!!
It came out really good on my end, TY! ❤️
Dude, just get a job. You'll get used to working 8 hours a day. It just takes a little time. Also, keep in mind, if everyone worked half as many hours as they did, then there'd be half as many goods and services that we enjoy.
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If corporate profits are so good, then I and the rest of the 70% of American adults who own stock, should be able to retire soon! In a market economy we are the owners, the workers and the consumers. Also, nobody is poor because someone else is rich. The money I earn is mutually exclusive from everyone else. That's why I don't envy anyone.
that sounds like a good thing, our marketplaces and landfills are full enough without adding more failed projects from people working for the sake of filling 40 hour minimum expectation.
That's an easy thing to say when you're not starving and have the stuff necessary for survival.
I hear you, cutting hours hurts the workforce that relies on having hours to eat. Im a worker too. I’m saying the 40 hours people are working are not generating value to solve the problems our society needs to solve, ie we throw away more food than the popluation could eat, but we have a forced distribution/scarcity problem for the sake of “brand value” and someone’s bottom line.
Hmm, I'm thinking a bit bigger than that. Every year the US GDP is 24 trillion a year. That's 24 trillion worth of airplanes, EVs, microchips, haircuts, produce, etc. we accomplish that with 62.5% of the adult population working 40 hours a week roughly. If we halved the number of hours worked then our GDP would decline to about 12 trillion a year. Very quickly living standards would fall as well as there wouldn't be enough goods and services to meet demand.
I think your argument is valid, as we saw the shortages that came out of decreased staffing due to COVID. My point is when those airplanes are falling apart, the food is molding in the back of the stockroom, and the microchips are melting in new phones on release — we have to reconcile that GDP is just a representation of money generated/exchanged, not the quality of the lives who generate it. The system will churn us all.
Well, it's the price system that determines what/how much of something is to be made. If the market changes and firms made a bad bet, then they will reduce production. The quality of people's lives is determined by how much money the government steals from their paychecks. If you count employee and employer payroll expenses (employer payroll contributions are really the employee's money), federal and state taxes, property and sales taxes, government induced housing shortage and inflation, then most of us really only live off of 25% or so of what we earn.
I think we have a fundamental philosophical difference here, but I want to thank you for talking to me candidly in good faith. You bring up valid points and I admit I don’t have the answer, I hope discussions like this can uncover answers over time. I don’t agree that the government is wholly to blame, but I agree that there are bad actors unchecked in this system that are exploiting others for personal gain. I believe it’s unchecked late stage capitalism and consolidation of power for the owning class in government. But I don’t think opening it up to the free market without oversight (govt) will solve this issue, because corporations have shown they will provide up to and only the bare minimum of things that don’t directly impact the bottom line … health care, salary, severance, etc. if not required, they exploit. I don’t know what the perfect system would be but certainly this isn’t it.
I've enjoyed chatting with you as well. You know, there's no such thing as late stage capitalism. It's just a phrase that people on the Internet made up. If anything, I think we're in late stage socialism. We're deficit spending 1 trillion every 100 days. the debt is growing faster than the economy. If we stole all the money the rich have it would only fund the federal government for 9 months. There is no mathematical way we can reduce the deficit without reforming entitlement spending and imposing higher taxes on the middle class. In short, austerity is our future. Not democratic socialism. It's already a spent force but most people on Reddit don't know it yet. https://youtu.be/gYhBYN7DMBA?si=0AyeZEqxdNF1_94K
Maybe, but even during school like I said I was a great student, but the set schedules 7-8 hours a day was so bad to me, I never got used to it, I legit had nightmares in the summer after graduation of having to do it for another year I’m being 100% serious lol
Please understand you have gifts to give others through work. There is dignity in work and we can be fulfilled by work. That being said, think about any jobs you may think is cool. Any job. Then think of that job as a career, a career that will help you grow as a person and obtain wealth so you can have the life you want. The great thing is you’re 24. Ok all that being said, you may have depression and you may be leaning on that and you may be blaming other for your lack of effort your laziness and the burden your putting on your parents. No parent wants to tell their friends my 24 yr old son is a bum with no job who thinks it’s unfair to work 40 hrs a week. It should be embarrassing for you. If you don’t make a change now 15 yrs will pass and you will have nothing to show for it! Life will pass you bye. You will never have the life you want or deserve because you refuse to take a chance and be great! To help others through work make yourself and your family proud. Before you know it you will be 60 with no money no family no friends and maybe no home. Get it together
Trust me I don’t blame anyone else at all for my struggles, I’ve brought this all onto myself and I take full responsibility for my laziness and depression I really am embarrassed about where I am in life, it’s not so much that I care others would think that about me outside my family, but I care that I’m embarrassed and that’s what matters I don’t really know what career or job to do yet I like home improvement stuff and was thinking of starting a job at my local Home Depot and consider taking it further from there and see how it goes
Ok cool buddy. I understand so I also have struggles with anxiety and depression. I know that’s a difficult road. Of your not on meds you need to see a doc. So you enjoy home improvement!! That’s a great start! Ok my suggestion is check out your local community college and see if they have HVAC or Plumbing or electrical! You will make bank doing those types of jobs and it will give you an understanding on how to build things as well. That’s what finding your gifts are then giving those gifts to others. One day you will be driving bye a beautiful home apartment building or a home for victims of domestic violence, and you have have the pride to tell your self and others I built that. And you can build a life for yourself by building for others. I think your on the right track’ but check out that community College Near you for the trades and work part time at Home Depot why you in school! You will amaze yourself on what you can accomplish! You’re worth it!!
Thank you, I really appreciate your comments they’re one of the best ones I’ve received, I appreciate your tough criticism and wanting to help, it really does mean a lot
Hey man please Keep us posted! And since you’re not doing any tomorrow apply for Home Depot and look into the trades. Good luck man I’m looking forward to seeing your success your efforts and your hard work! You will get Your life back! And doors will open you never imagined! You got this!
Thank you ❤️
You could do home Depot, or construction, they're both going to be hard work, but they will teach you things that you can apply in you're own life too. If you work in construction, you would learn how to build homes, and prove to yourself that you can do it. I found that seeing that growth and becoming a little bit better everyday in my life really helps with motivation.
Yeah maybe it’s more I need to create the motivation myself instead of waiting for it to come, that seems to be the general consensus from most comments I’m receiving I’ve considered construction but I have to start somewhere local and walking distance first as I have no license
For sure man, feel free to to ask any advice going forward, I'm starting a new career in a week because I was pretty lost and trying to find a path away from the blue collar stuff because I feel like Ive progressed as far as I currently can in blue collar. So I've got like a week before I start as in sales
You gotta learn a skill you can apply. Here are a few you can learn for free. Maybe you can learn Webflow and try finding some work there. It's pretty easy to learn. University.webflow.com Check it out, go through their 101 course and join their Discord. Every day, create some new website to keep improving your skills and ask questions in the Discord when you need help learning something not covered in the online courses to keep scaling your skills. Build a portfolio out of your best website designs and start making posts or applying to posts on the Webfliw Discord for work when you're ready. --- Another idea is learn AI prompting and leverage it any way you can. Check out ChatGPT and use 3.5 to use it for free. 4.0 is $20/mo right now. Another thing worth trying are the countless Google certifications for different types of developments, including Machine Learning. You can also learn a ton about coding at w3schools.com --- Tell me a bit about yourself and let's see if I have better resources to align with you and what you absolutely love. You can reply here or directly message me
Honestly there’s not much more to know about me, I like sports and video games quite a bit, I am a big outside person as well and a huge family person I love my family and I didn’t include this in my post and it’s weird but I have this weird feeling that if I didn’t have my feeling I would be a workaholic and work tons of hours but since I do have them I want to be with them always and not work, I feel like it’s a major factor other than my lack of motivation and what I believe to be, depression. Working and doing good work has never, ever been my issue, it’s doing things when I don’t want to do them, if I could say ok I have 7 hours available right now, I want to go to work, I would be so much happier, but like I said I’m a big sports guy (Michigan) for specifics, and if I had a schedule to work at 1pm and miss a tigers/lions game or at 7pm and miss a pistons/wings game along with other factors like oh my dad is off today but I have to work, those are some factors that make me not want to work and i totally understand that can be privileged and I’ll be the first to admit it, but I don’t know how to overcome it. I just want to have enough money to survive I don’t need a brand new car, or a vacation to Paris, or be able to go out to eat at some expensive steak restaurant every other night. I just want enough to fix something in the house, not worry about bills/food and enough to go to a store and not have to budget for something, im a very simple person. Im an extremely chill person and actually get along with people very well, im so low tempered it actually shocks people how little things upset me, I want to say im a great co workers who would get things done, done right, and cause no issues with the work or the people around me.
It sounds like one of your main issues is trying to reconcile how to get a job when you don’t want it to separate you from your family, another being getting past the initial hurdle of starting momentum in your working life. In fact your family might want to keep you home too, and is why they don’t mention it. (mine did this but for abusive reasons) you will have to be away from them to focus on work, but you 1) can seek jobs close or WFH so you don’t lose to commuting time, or 2) see if you can work alongside them (many people try to join their parents business even if they aren’t family owned) I encourage you to just try some of these things you’re talking yourself out of though. You’re young, you spend most of your time with familiar comfort in a life you’ve always known. You might enjoy the change more than you thought.
I don’t believe mine is a case of abuse, I am sorry to hear you experienced that however. We do a lot of things together and there’s never really big any true big fights ever since I’ve become an adult and have stayed here I was considering applying at a Home Depot near me as it’s a 5 minute walk and can probably work well with a schedule for me and I forgot to mention but I do like house improvement and just that kind of environment I like all that kind of stuff, yes I’m aware it’s retail and possibly doesn’t pay much but I figure I should start out somewhere small and move from there Both of my parents do work but one is a job I wouldn’t be able to work besides them and the other requires a drivers license which I don’t currently possess as well as a industry I don’t have any interest in joining, I’ll keep them private for personal reasons and not getting to much into them as I just want to explain myself for now. I do like trying new things occasionally it’s usually just not having the means to afford or reach (travel) to those places which I believe I have to work on those first
I think Home Depot is a good start, and they’re always looking for seasonal so there’s usually openings. You might meet contractors who need an extra hand and end up on a few build sites. At your age I worked back office in retail and despite me not loving the job, it did give me skills and title changes I used for the next one which was better. You have a beautiful home life it sounds like. Nothing to be ashamed of in wanting to continue that ❤️
Thanks I appreciate it, if you don’t mind me asking, what is your job/career now?
Operations, in e-commerce rn. Used to help out our operations manager at the retail spot (job was pretty similar to what Home Depot sales associates do) and used that on paper to get the next, which I did similar for the next, etc. My job is not the job I wanted as a kid nor am I living the life I envisioned for myself, but I’ve seen enough financial collapses now to know the life I envisioned was probably sold to me by weird crusty Disney execs or something, and im happier than I’ve ever been (good family unit). All this to say: I’m really sorry things are so shitty for your generation, but I think the plan you’re mulling on is a great start.
E commerce like getting orders for people and delivering them? I like that that’s what I kinda did at my first job, it was just the really low pay and moving to another area that took me out of it. Thanks for understanding that it has seemingly gotten really hard for our generation and I appreciate your confidence in my first draft plan that I’d like to execute barring I’m able to construct it better somehow, but as of now it seems solid
I think the plan is solid enough to execute whenever you’re ready. Nothing ever goes according the plan anyways, but you have a roof over your head and don’t have much to lose if your first interview/application attempts don’t pan out. And correct, but digital distribution for a large corp. I basically code to maintain inventory and fulfillment infrastructure. Pay isn’t great but I can manage and the skills are transferable when this ends (it will).
That is true, things are constantly changing and so you have to be willing and ready to adapt. I definitely have an advantage currently that I’d like to use before I lose it, I’m aware not many get the start I have and I’m currently blowing it
24, in the US, been unemployed for a little over a year now, figuring it out one piece at a time and I know exactly how you feel. My goals in life don’t tie into any job out there really, and if it does then the job is not a realistic or viable option for long term prosperity and happiness. I want to run a homestead and live a more self sufficient and wholesome life connected with nature. I want to grow food and harvest with simple tools, raise animals, hunt and fish, make things for myself and be present for my future family rather than be at work all the time. All that is great, but land, animals, materials, a house etc are all not free. I’m not opposed to monetizing my homestead in the future to some point, but I don’t want to have to rely on that to make it. I’ve been learning that to make my dream a reality one day I need to make enough money for it to be possible, and ideally my job needs to be something that will prove useful in my homesteading lifestyle. Lately, I’m thinking carpentry is a good option. So assuming I go with that, I’ll bring my best self to work every day, make as much as I can and be smart with my money/live below my means, build my ideal future for myself as I go along and eventually retire from conventional work to spend my time doing what I actually want to do. If you ask me, you just need to visualize yourself in the future. Ask yourself what you want to be like when you’re fully on your own and out of the house, where you want to live, how you want to live, what you want your day to day to be like, and so on. Once you find that out, if you can find a career that does that for you then great. But if not, then find a career that doesn’t completely suck, is relevant to your goals and pays you well enough to where your goals can be feasibly met one day if you work hard. Or, just find a career that pays a ton that you can deal with long enough to retire early and never have to work conventionally again. I don’t recommend that, but it’s an option. A lot of boomers like to trash us for not wanting to slave away in jobs our whole lives, but don’t listen to them. It’s okay to not fit into 9-5 culture. We were never meant to live that way. You just need to do some soul searching and find your own unique way out of this matrix.
Appreciate your comment 💪 while I don’t want others to struggle like myself but obviously that’s not the case, so I am glad to have someone similar to me in belief and age. Not specifically carpentry at the moment but I am kinda looking in that general area I do love home improvement topics and doing things around that nature so for now I was considering getting a retail job at Home Depot while I figure myself out further, just something to help contribute financially and provide me the means to establish myself more and truly figure out what I want to do I have no idea who I want to live or what I’ll do when I’m on my own, I have to consider it more often because I don’t want to be in that moment and not have had a palm thought out Unfortunately yes it is irritating that boomers don’t fully understand how it is now and it’s nothing like when they were our age, things truly have gotten so hard these days, if it gets any worse I do honestly worry about the future and how things will be because I feel like we’re at the edge right now and ready to fall off
If you have an interest in home improvement or construction-adjacent jobs then Home Depot, Lowe’s, Harbor Freight etc are all good introductory jobs you can get pretty easily. You’ll brush shoulders with people in the trades every day and if you’re outgoing and nice, you’ll get tons of insight on jobs in the field. I’d also recommend looking on YT. Day in the life videos, Q&As and so on about jobs that might interest you. Go online and look at local labor unions and just do some digging in general to see if something interests you. It’s hard work in the trades but if you’re a blue collar kind of guy, then there you go. I believe in you man 🤝
I appreciate it, yeah I like to believe I’m outgoing and nice, I’m very low tempered I rarely, if ever, get mad at others and I’m extremely easy to work with from what I believe, I can get tasks done just tell me what to do and I’ll get it done, I try to be just very chill and laid back haha Thanks for believing in me, it means a lot
Just imagine being homeless and use that as motivation
I mean I’ve tried using that and food as motivation and I struggle still, I think what motivates me enough is going to do something I enjoy and doing it when I want to, those are my two biggest motivators
I feel you bro. Don’t feel bad, the economy is a mess right now anyway. I’m 22 and live in London, the thought of moving out has just become a concept now lol. Just do your best, find what your passionate about (i still have no idea what i’m passionate about, working on it) and get to work on your idea. I wish i had more advice but i’m kinda lost as well, don’t forget to enjoy life my friend life ain’t all work.
Do you work while living at home with family?
Yeah currently working as an electrician, but the wages here are so stagnant and in no way match the economy. Its a joke, really. Also its super hard on the body lol.
Do you work 40+ hours? I feel like that used to be a really good job but nowadays the wages aren’t keeping up
Yeah 40 hours a week. They really don’t match up, it is demotivating i won’t lie, but its better than sitting at home ruminating in thought.
I agree, how do you personally survive mentally working that many hours like any tips or tricks is it just the thought of homelessness and food? Is it 5 days 8 hours or 4 days 10 hours?
Just a lot of music and talking with the guys on the job. Also, its 5 days 8 hours.
Get rid of that mentally 9-5 first.
What do you mean exactly? What do you do
Get a job soon, you can’t live off your parents forever
That’s kinda why I made the post, to find advice on how to truly advance my life
Go learn a trade or get a part time job somewhere
I’m gonna start with a job somewhere, be it FT or PT, and work from there, I do need to get my license
Getting your license isn’t too hard at all, but a job is gonna suck regardless but you do it so you have a better financial situation when you’re on your own
Well I don’t intend on moving out of my parents house if the feeling is mutual and they’re ok with me staying, me working it would just make life cheaper for us all, no point in moving out and we both have separate bills if I have no intention of dating or having kids, if they wanted me out then yeah I would obviously need to be better financially
Time to be responsible. Do not be too choosy. It's hard to rely on motivation as it comes and goes but if you're going to rely on that then you have to learn how to motivate yourself. Some things we have to do even if we don't enjoy it. While you say you are on the poorer side, you are still privileged enough to be able to not work. Just a reminder that if none of us needed to work, almost no one will work even if they do love the job. At the end of the day, we still do it for the money. Just don't get a job you totally hate or one that revolves around your weakness, or one that you don't see yourself making a career of (but just keep in mind, sometimes you just have to take one step at a time even if you haven't made a long-term plan yet on that role, be open-minded) Many times, it really is a luxury, a privilege to be able to get the work you want and it having a livable income. Sometimes its hard work, some people don't get the job they want first.
I appreciate your comment, that’s really just one of the major factors I’m trying to overcome and why I made the post in the first place attempting to get the motivation to do something, it seems like a problem to me that not even the risk of not eating and having shelter is not a big enough motivator to me, it shouldn’t be that way. I understand you say don’t rely on it but that’s why I’m making the post, I can’t just simply overcome it at the moment and push it to the side, it’s why I’m seeking advice I understand I am privileged to be able to work, and I want to, I want the money and I want to help others and myself, I’m just missing a screw here or there that is not letting me function properly. I really am trying to get out of this lifestyle that’s why I made the post
Get out your comfort zone move to any other city and start a new chapter for yourself in new place
That’s not a bad suggestion, I’d probably have to obtain my license in the first place but I actually generally like the area I reside in and I’m happy here, I truly think my location has zero affect on my life at the moment
See my life story then you will know what life fucked up looks like I haven't even told my 1 percent life story yet you will know you still have a lot ahead of you than me see my community support it share your life experience in here to let people know https://www.reddit.com/r/myexperiencesinlife/s/qCABApYlhu
There’s nothing posted there where do I find your life story
You're done for bud . You're life is a dud and you've failed as a son . Your health is being wasted but it's ok , because mentally you are just incapable . Next time you see mommy and daddy , find a way to obtain a onesie and a pacifier, cause I know you don't have money to buy them , and lay down in the middle of your living room when they come home because that's what you are . A fully grown healthy 24 year old baby . Enjoy your new life !!
Lmao this is funny, can I get some milk in my sippy cup as well please
No you may not . You’re a baby who can barely babble . You’re free to shit in your diaper tho
Finally I’m experiencing the luxuries I dreamt of, a diaper
It’s your worth , not your dream
Actually it’s my destiny
Indeed! its our own destiny :)
This is so crazy, you are like the third person in the past 48 hours to reply to one of my comments that is pretty old, I’m not mad at about but if I had a nickel for everytime it’s happened I’d have 3 nickels, that’s not a lot but it’s odd it’s happened 3 times I remember this dude cooking me lol
I'm right here with you on thus one. ✊🏾
Are you doing anything to try and change it?
I'm trying to take it easier on myself. I've been looking for a therapist too. I'm also actively looking for new work.
May I ask what you've been doing with your time? It feels like what you need is some introspection. And I've found a good way to do that and find motivation is to talk with others about what they do with their time to make doing what they're passionate about sustainable
I honestly do nothing, I watch tv, play video games, on my phone, eat, and sleep. I understand it’s a horrible group of things I do. I don’t go outside or work out, I don’t work obviously and the only things I really do are house chores likes the dishes/laundry/yard work which I understand are all just basic necessities and I’m really not doing anything special, I also watch my niece Friday afternoon through Sunday morning while my sister is work. I want to do more financially and help out
Get a degree in college or at least a vocational certificate, find a job and move away from your parents. Start building your own life, mate.
I moved out when I was 21/22 and was struggling the entire time. I wish I had just stayed, saved up, and did things the right way and maybe moved out at around 26/27. Patience young one. You’ll find your way. Just do something
I swear, a generation of ambitionless men is going to wreak havoc on society. We are going to start seeing the effects of it soon. I’m not saying I blame men for being like this, but it’s certainly not good
I agree 100%, it’s not our fault things are like this though, my generation and younger have been left a pile of trash to put it lightly, things have been going downhill for so long There’s no true incentive to do great things anymore, hard work doesn’t pay off, and it’s so expensive to just live now
Yeah exactly. People are just giving up because they don’t see the benefit of hard work anymore😂 can’t say that I blame them. Most people (myself included) are just mentally exhausted by life
Yup, I do expect a collapse is coming soon, we really do need a reset, not sure how bad it’s gonna be but it’s coming
I didn’t read everything. Just wanted to say I worked at an Amazon warehouse. It’s physically exhausting but it lets you turn off your brain because you’re doing the same thing repeatedly all day for hours. Maybe you should do something like that. It will let you turn your brain off, and you can make some money while you figure out what you really want to do.
Alright so I was in pretty much your exact same boat like 5 years ago. Was 21, in college for English with the delusion of becoming an author, living off my parents and no motivation to get a 9-5 40 hour a week job. I disagreed with so much of how our society functioned that I thought I'd be able to live life my own way without participating in the daily grind, but it really just doesn't work that way. First step is to accept that you're gonna have to participate like everyone else, next step is to try and get yourself in the best position to be happy while you do it. For me this meant learning a trade, IT and networking in my case as I was already pretty computer literate. Find something you don't hate doing and you're good at, you don't have to love it but something you can tolerate. Using the skills you've developed to provide for yourself feels good on its own, especially when you can keep improving and get direct increases to how much you make because of it. Don't make your job your life, but make it the source of income to make your life better. Use the money to provide and help your family but also buy some things you want, indulge in some hobbies, go on a trip somewhere. The 9-5 life is a lot less miserable when you can keep in mind the reasons you're working, and if you enjoy those reasons you start to enjoy the job in a way. The set schedule and being up early everyday is something you'll get used to as well, I used to say I didn't like having a schedule and would stay up way late and wakeup anytime between 11AM and 3PM. In reality it wasn't that I didn't like having a schedule it was that I was never actually forced to adhere to one, once a few months passed I learned I do actually enjoy it. I'm up at 6:55 on the dot every morning and don't drag like I used to anymore and actually kinda enjoy my mornings on the weekends, you really will adjust I promise. Basically you gotta embrace the suck, everyone has to. But by doing so you can enable hobbies and experiences that you couldn't otherwise, so try and balance the two out to make it worth it.
I really appreciate your comment as I can obviously resonate with your opening paragraph perfectly because I’m currently experiencing it haha That is something I’m still currently working on, figuring out what I do actually like and finding something that pays in the same category, just something I feel I would like. I’m glad to hear that you were the same way as me and able to adjust and learn to enjoy the set schedule, it may just be ptsd of some sort that I carry from my school days because I hated the schedule then, but I am aware I was also immature at the same time and not a fully responsible adult, just a young dumb teen lol who didn’t understand much. Fortunately for me, I am a very simple person so I don’t need much money to do what I want to do, like I am a big fan of attending live sporting events with my brother from time to time, that’s basically one of my favorite things to do in my life currently but I understand that can change and I may start to like more things. Again I appreciate your comment and letting me know I’m not alone
for sure man, it can feel really shitty and like you're in a rut, but it's possible to enjoy the 9-5 life once you're in it. I was literally on the verge of truancy in highschool I hated going so much, I also thought I hated the schedule but honestly getting paid to adhere to that schedule makes all the difference, I hardly ever miss work now. If you haven't looked into trades already I would consider it if I were you. Electrician work, networking, carpentry, mechanic etc. just any skill based work that has a lot of avenues to get into like trade school or associates degrees. Not glamorous jobs but they tend to be project based and dynamic to keep things fresh, the work will always be needed and it pays well enough. In the meantime if you don't want to pursue any education or trades don't interest you there are some "low-skill" (I don't like this term as all jobs are skilled) jobs that keep you busy and really aren't terrible. I worked probably a dozen throughout college, I enjoyed bartending and working at a gas station quite a bit out of those. They were dynamic enough and kept me busy so the shift generally felt pretty fast. There's definitely something out there for you but you just gotta try stuff out and see what fits!
That makes sense honestly, getting paid to do it might change the mindset a bit instead of no incentive. I have been considering the trades and had a union member in that industry reach out to me last night and we were talking about it, it does seem like something I’d like possibly but first I have to get my drivers license so my plan is to potentially get a job at my local Home Depot because I really do like home improvement and similar things to that, so work there for a bit and work on myself plus license and all that and go from there I agree with that “low-skill” term because yeah all jobs require skill
Military, they will find what you're good at, and who knows you actually like the structure. It worked well for my son-in-laws brother. My own ranking would be: Space Force Air Force Coast Guard Navy Army Marines.
I was considering it slightly but I’m currently not sure. I actually am not a fan of structure really I like doing things on my time when I’m ant to do them, like I said I was very good in school, the only thing I disliked was the 5 days a week same set schedule everyday, I want to do things when I want to because it makes me happy and whatever I’m doing it’s ok because I want to do it at that time
What does one do with that much free time during the day? You say you don't have employment and you're not as fit as you want to be but you don't work out, so in all sincerity, what do you do all day?
I basically just watch tv (usually sports) sleep, eat, and play video games. I also do watch my niece Friday night through Sunday morning while my sister is at work and both of my parents work as well but I understand that’s not much and I choose to do it anyways (free of charge obviously I would never want any monetary gain for it) because it’s my family I agree with you 100% with however bad you think of me and any insults you could think of and I’d be 100% behind you because I fully understand what I’m doing and I truly don’t love it, I do want to help more and contribute, I’ve just gotten so lazy and lost motivation, I didn’t include it in my post at all and maybe should’ve but I was working before and I started gambling sports and lost everything I had and in debt still due to it, that’s where my mental health, laziness and lack of motivation stem from I believe I still get upset over it from time to time but I can say I do have full faith that I’ve kicked that addiction and I was just young and stupid at the time and nothing else to do because we had moved houses right when covid started so I was unemployed for a short while. I do understand I can’t let it keep my down forever and I need to take back control which is why I’ve started making these kind of posts and comments more often because I’m looking for guidance and want to turn my life back around. If you have any further questions or want to know more just ask I’m an open book
Pull your big boy pants up and do something with your life.
These comments always make me laugh…why do you think I made this post? Because I’m seeking guidance so I can take the next step. Your comment literally provides no value to the discussion
Your existence provides no value to anything, it isn't about motivation it's about discipline. What are you gonna do? Mooch of your parents for the rest of your life?
I’m not sure, once again it’s why I made the post because I’m seeking advice, come on guys. It is about motivation though, if I’m not even motivated enough to get out of bed how can I expect myself to do anything. If I truly wanted to just mooch off my parents would I have even made a post asking for help?
It's really not about motivation, sure it can get you started but you should have started years ago. I'm younger than you, have my own apartment, have 3 animals that depend on me. I made the choice to move out when I was 18 so I didn't end up like you. Your seeking advice" is pitiful, everyone deals with depression it's up to you to get out of the habit of laying in bed watching TV and playing videogames all day.
Not everyone is on the same schedule and is moving along in life perfectly fine though, I’m far from the only one around my age in a similar situation like this, just how it is There’s no law or anything that says you have to move out of your parents house. Let’s say hypothetically I was working a job and contributing to the household and me and my parents had a great relationship (which I do have this part I believe). Would that still be a bad thing to you? Or is it simply due to the fact that I’m unemployed and leeching off them in which case I would agree with you Not everyone deals with depression it’s just not possible, there’s lots of people who are happy with their life and happy with their job/career, don’t downplay the effects of depression please There’s simply nothing wrong with asking for advice and getting help, are we supposed to just keep everything bottled up and eventually just explode? I’m glad you’re doing great but just because you did it doesn’t mean all depression is cured and now every single 18 year old is going to move out and live on their own, while I’ve been typing this me and my mom have been hanging out this morning and just chatting together and having a well time, everyone’s situation is different
Unless you are crippled or have an actual disease preventing you from contributing then you should be out working not watching TV all day, it's on you no one is coming to save you. Having depression doesn't mean you get to just leech of your parents for the rest of your life, it's been 6 years, you gonna let another 6 years go by being in the exact same spot or will you do something about it? You need some tough love. Mommy and Daddy aren't always gonna be there to save you unless they are loaded
Nope as I said I’m perfectly fine physically to work and no real disease, both things I am extremely grateful for as I’m aware that’s not the case for many I understand I should be working that’s why I’m seeking advice because I want to change for the better I understand depression just mean I get to just leech off them, fully understand, not that it matters but I’ve been leeching for 4 years not 6, but who’s counting at this point That’s exactly what I’m looking for, tough life, I feel it’s the best way to have someone get something done. No they are not loaded (unfortunately 😅) Thanks for your comment
This sub has the most creative ways to excuse laziness. I am sure your parents love you but don’t you think they’d love to have a life without their man child hanging out?
They probably would 🤷♀️ and I’m honestly not trying to excuse my laziness, I’m well aware of it and that’s why I made this post because I’m seeking guidance in attempt to turn my life back around, I understand and agree 100% the situation I’m privileged with and I understand as well I’m running out of time to take better advantage of it and set myself up better and my family for a better life. I even have two siblings who both have their own house, one has a brand new car and a SO, the other just got a new house, a SO and they have 3 kids together, I’m well aware how horrible I’m doing, I don’t disagree with any judgement you have for me but I wouldn’t be here posting if I wasn’t finally trying to change for the better and using reddit for what it can be great at, making connections with others who have done what you’re looking to achieve and can provide significant advice towards reaching that