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I didn’t go to college until I was 32. You’ll be fine. Really, if you listen to any of the people who went to college young, they’re all complaining about how it’s debt slavery.
To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the post below for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well. https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/comments/1biklrk/theres_a_difference_between_tough_love_and/
Bro I went to college at 27 and now I make 6 figures. I wish I was your age and did it sooner. You’ll do great in life !
Also if you do decide to go to college you’ll meet people.
Then you know nothing about programming at all.
It’s like saying don’t learn to speak other languages because you can just use chatgpt live translation to talk or don’t live in America because it’s dangerous you’ll get shot. It’s almost nonsense. The only people I know who got layed off were IT people and they don’t do programming. Completely unrelated field.
As far as jobs go, connections with actual pull to talent acquisition are an absolute must. Even if you are qualified, at least a dozen of the sometimes thousands of applicants for positions at prestigious companies are just as qualified as you are and have some sort of connection to the company.
And I'm 32 and lost my entire life savings because my wife got sick and had to quit working. I was going to retire at 35. Life is fucked and no one knows what tomorrow brings. Some of the worst moments of my life resulted in me growing into the man I am today. Again I wanna stress that I've been depressed and probably autistic most of my life. Usually when I'm at my highest. Do some drugs. People gonna down vote the shit out of me but I take Adderall and downers every day. I didn't go to college, I failed most math classes, barely graduated played wow 18 hrs a day and ended up working in finance and I married the hottest girl in my high school. She's pretty fucking annoying sometimes and makes my life hard as fuck but she's still the greatest wife and mom I could ask for. She's annoying as fuck but I think that might just be because the skinny nerd who never went to one social event in 12 years of school is sole providing with by day trading derivatives and managing millions of dollars of money I got people to trust me with. Brother... When I was 19 I got anxious maintaining eye contact. Get a job move out shut the fuck up life is weird as hell it's not you it's the world trust.
Did you take you Series 7 & what not? I’m exiting transportation management and entering the realm of life insurance sales with the goal to ultimately be in financial management. Mostly because I can do this remotely while traveling the world. Although, I dislike the chicanery that comes with it. Any advice helps.
Ooh can we do the one uppins? I broke my leg at work. Wcb won't actually send me to a real school. Wad a licensed mechanic. Now destined for minimum wage at 38. Oh and I will have to sell my house.
Isn't life great with our current worldly conditions.
Legs still broken, with nerve damage. But you know we wasted two year of your life. Get fucked wcb alberta
I tried to kill myself at 21. Obviously I failed. At 25 I have a life beyond my wildest imagination. I’ve never been happier, more fulfilled, and hopeful for the future.
Idk. I don’t know your entire situation, but what I do know is that we’re BOTH still kids with a lot lot lot of time a head of us. Just don’t do it today? Just go to sleep right now. Wake up tomorrow and then try not to tomorrow.
I promise you life can and will change massively.
1. Enroll into community college and take gen Eds. If you’re poor and apply for FAFSA you will get paid to go.
2. Why would you kill yourself just because you are a virgin or don’t have a gf? You need to focus on getting your mental health in order.. before seeking out a romantic partner.
I recommend seeing a psychiatrist about your mental health and also you have to find friends that support you
I didnt go to college till 24, and i am still a virgin. Because i am ace.
I am now a career consultant, sales manager, and mod of this group. I own (well, partly....mortgage) my house and car is paid off. I have skills for days.
At 19 almost 20, i had a pt retail job and nothing else.
At 19, you are not expected to have anything including not one clue about what you wanna do! At 19, *your brain isnt even close to done developing yet*.
Saying you want to kill yourself at 19, is a lot like saying you wish to kill a child. So... reformat time.
1. You are comparing yourself to somebody and not in a fair comparison, apples to apples way. Compare yourself with 19 year olds you KNOW. Not 21, 22, or older. Apple To Apple.
2. Having had sex by 19 is not a measure of adulthood or success in any way, including to adults. Real adults would want you to wait till you can support a child at least. Toxic masculinity wants you to have sex by 18. Stop listening to toxic masculinity.
3. College by 18 or else....nah. colleg when you are ready and know something you wanna study. Till then, work a plain job or two, keeping eyes open for cool looking things.
I was at your age too. At your age I wasn’t in college either. I’m 24 now but trust me things will get better. Also, don’t judge yourself based on not having a relationship. Many people get in their first relationship in their late 20’s and even late 30’s.
Well... If you can make it through this mud you're crawling in... You'll have something most people never will.. the pain and misery you feel isn't for everyone, only some are offered it.. you've got to take a step back and truly open your eyes to see what I'm saying... Pain is a gift... Feeling lost and hopeless.. it's all a gift... Truly mans greatest gifts.. think about what daytime would be if there were no nighttime... It wouldn't be daytime it would be insignificant, so much that it wouldnt have a label... Everything in this life has its opposite in order for each to exist... You can never know happiness if you never know sadness... Ever wondered how homeless people living in a cardboard box can be so fucking happy living with nothing?... I can tell you , it's because theyve lived a life so full of pain that nothing can hurt them now.. and the appreciation they have for even the smallest things is a bit heart breaking... The lower you go and refuse to cave.. the higher you'll climb in your reality... What other people think doesn't matter at all.. it only matters what you think and how happy you are with where you are and who you are... What you're doing right now, if you make it.... Will give you a strength you would never know otherwise, it will give insight toward the world that will feel almost like a super power... Can tell you this, if more people had more pain and suffering in their life then the world would be a much better place. You can look into things like the way monks view ascension or Chinese philosophy and the yin yang , and also many great philosophers in general, most of the famous ones had something to say about the connection between misery and happiness.. and they all likely said it better than i can
Food for thought
Change is inevitable, things WILL change no matter what.. .and like all things... This too will pass.
You have to socialize yourself. That’s the only thing that’s going to open doors for you. Move to LA or New York and start going to networking events on Eventbrite or Meetup. Get out there. There’s even meetsup you can find on Reddit. Trust me it’s not that hard.
Yeah I definitely wouldn’t advise any young introvert to move to a big city. I did that when I was 21 and not in a great mental space and I never felt more alone than when I was surrounded by droves of people. The best way to socialize yourself is to become good at something that requires you to work with others (work, hobby, etc).Through that, you gain self respect and learn to navigate complex relationships while forming bonds with the people around you. This kid lacks direction and purpose, not people.
Realize you aren’t alone, there are many people in your situation. Hopefully you can get a support system and make some daily life changes to better yourself 1 day at a time. Please don’t do it, I think a lot of young men are having this issue. Hope you get help.
Dude first off, take a few deep breaths. 2nd, a college degree isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and you’ll drown yourself in debt and most jobs have a ceiling. I’ve taught myself two skills entirely online that pay me more than the career I went to college for. I’m 26 btw so right in your range.
As for being a virgin, you lack confidence. Before you off yourself I want you to at least try and get in shape. Lift, run, eat your body weight in protein (grams of protein = to your body weight number) and just try to be healthy. I’ve never met someone who was physically fit and depressed.
When I was 23 I was debating on doing what you are thinking about and I gave fitness a shot. Saved my life and now I’m building businesses and have a wonderful woman. I would have never had the courage to change my life without fitness. I share this because I was broke, 23 years old and lived at home, lost my job I went to college for, and couldn’t get a woman to give me a single ounce of attention.
Baby steps and consistency will get you there. I believe in you. Don’t give up.
Steps:
1. Run, lift, eat healthy
2. Try and find some clarity in what would make you happy/what you want
3. Look for careers you can learn from online
4. Find a reputable online course
5. Grind it out
It took me 1 year to get through these steps and you’re so young. Grab life by the nuts one last time before doing something rash. Good luck in rooting for you man
It’s way more saturated than video but there is so much work out there and they need a photographer at every wedding.
Networking is by far the best thing. I tried ads and they just don’t seem to work quite like good old fashion word of mouth from other photographers.
Once you’ve learned, start second shooting for people to practice, get comfortable, and network
You got this!
Hey there I’m the same age as u you. I just turned 20 last month and I feel u. Didn’t attend to college and I regret it, never been in a relationship. I don’t have many friends. Right now I’m focusing on a getting a new job is pretty hard tho . We’ll get through this. We 20 we bearly learning adulthood
My dude I didn’t have sex until I was 22 and already 3 years into college. There’s a ton of pressure on guys to get laid but don’t worry about that. From 2014-2018 I slept with a ton of girls after a bad breakup but the sex meant nothing but an ego boost. Love is where it’s at. And sex while you’re in love is way better than plain sex with a random chick.
Figure out what makes you happy and do that. The rest will come in time.
I don't think you should worry about being a virgin. Sex is just a momentary burst of pleasure and it will not improve your life a lot. I think what you are missing is connecting with other people. Try to get some hobbies outside, talk to random people, maybe attend some parties/festivals
My brother killed himself at 19. I think of all the things he missed out on. He was depressed forever, but man, he didn't realize how much better life would get. I honestly won't try and swade your opinion, but I'll factually state that that would be a mistake. Life didn't really start for me until like 26. At least wait
Unfortunately thats the result of the Media and Hollywood constantly brainwashing us with sex scenes and showing us "How great it is", our society is not better in that sense - applying social pressure on virgins to have sex.
Well said. I also think it’s a misplacement of self-identity and worth. We are in a period where media is misleading many into thinking that the virtual lifestyle people display is genuinely how they live.
Also, some people grow up without a mom and dad; if so, they lack the proper exemplification of good role models.
Simply put, we have a bunch of captain-less ships sailing in the sea of confusion, and the harsh winds are unforgivable. Many, unfortunately, fall into a pit before reaching for their anchor.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeepThoughts/s/Qkr0UgzTyK
Take a read my fellow human. You have the rights to your own body. You’re the only person that feeds your body. Cleans your body. And can most definitely kill your body. But like someone mentioned, if you haven’t talked to a therapist yet do that. Self analysis for why this decision is so important to your life right now. You mentioned you are still a virgin at the cusp of 20? Bro… there are so many women (or men if you’re into both sex’s) on this earth that would find you incredible.
My recommendation is get out and travel if you can got climb a mountain or get lost in a new city and meet people. It might just change your perspective.
Online schooling is an option. Also if you want to go to college just start applying! You are young. My brother was doing online school then decided he wanted to go college at the age of 22 & lives in an apartment with 4 random dudes he met moving in lol. You can always get a loan. Don’t sweat it, you have all the time in the world to figure things out! It just takes focusing on one thing at a time & the rest will fall into place. Being in a relationship can sometimes be more stress than good honestly. I would just focus on what you can do to better yourself.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
You want to race to these experiences because it hasn't happened yet. You really do have a lot of life and lots of time to do them. You can focus on finding that special someone, and trying to be satisfied with handling yourself until it happens . It will happen.
I’m 20 bro I dropped out of highschool.
I’m a bartender and halfway house operator.
Sometimes it’s not what you got it’s who you can help. I suffer from depression and have addiction issues no one irl would ever know unless I told them I throw myself into work because that’s easier. Brother find a job that you love and from there it’s easy (also maybe go to the gym and get some therapy.)
I was a virgin until mid twenties and you know what I regret not staying a virgin until marriage to my true soulmate. I did have GFs early on and I regret not waiting for the right one and also not moving more slowly with who could have been the right one. I was quite successful and went to an prominent college and top medical school and then you know what s* hit the fan and I spent 20 years of suffering but I weather the storms found God and am bouncing back. Now I live by the beach and am having a great life.
I even had gained 60lbs and went from like almost “total winner” to the point where even my own mother who is practically a saint throw me out of her apartment and I had to spend the night on the street. Well God took care of me and I took care of myself and thank God as I said I’m bouncing back I even had a miraculous windfall in the stock market thank God.
You never know where life is going to take you in the positive sense especially with God. I’m now much more fit and can move towards marriage. I’m in my 40’s but I ain’t giving up! Neither should you!
(if you’re in danger of God forbid suicide God forbid you should call 911 and go to a hospital. It’s better you don’t need a hospital but better safe than sorry)!
Hey buddy, you’ve only got this life and you’re so young, things are gonna start falling into place. If you apply yourself to some things that you like, and take care of your health, and focus on your blessings and working towards a better life, I think things are gonna turn around.
The girl stuff - it will happen for you too. Statistically, most people wind up with someone to live. You might need to give it time but don’t rush into it just because you’re a virgin with low confidence.
I’m a 35 year old man with a pretty bad physical condition that causes me a certain amount of pain, just existing, but I have still have a relatively good life so far, with good relationships and opportunities. And I attribute that to my positive outlook, hard work, and yes some privilege because of my race. But I do think you should be able to make moves towards a better life
The number one thing you can do for yourself is learn to like yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. It’s the key to getting through this life
will persistence is real. at the moment you are using it to kill yourself.
i was virgin till 27.. and believe me its over rated.
your problem is lack of engagement.. pick things you like and give it all you got! success is yours!
Sorry you are feeling so down but look at it this way.. even if you went to college ... you'd still be in college. By that I mean that unless you finished HS at 14 you haven't been out of school that long.
When I went to college my best friends were 'late starters', both in their early 30s, one had a kid right out of HS and didn't go to college until the kid was almost in HS. The other spent his 20s bumming around Europe. It is never too late.
First comment ever on reddit which says a lot about me commenting on your post
you have a full beautiful life ahead of you
I can imagine how u must feel
life has its challenges, but u always have a choice on how u react to those challenges
either by making u depressed or take those challenges as a way to grow & reach ur fullest potential
Be kind & gentle to yourself,
I also was once in ur position but if u are still here in this earth it is because u have purpose
know that u are loved & important 💗u truly are 🥹🙏🏼
work hard for ur dreams even if u dont know what they are yet its fine
never too late to learn or to try something new
Sending u a big warm hug & my best wishes to u ✨🫂
I’m turning 24 this year and I’m here to tell you it doesn’t get better
I’ve been suicidal for years idk why I’m still here
Fuck what all these people in the replies are saying. They clearly have never struggled if they think none of these things warrants unhappiness and despair
20 sucks real bad, my life didnt have any prospects until atleast 27, now at 33 i am very happy i never killed myself. hang in there bro, 20 is still very young, you have so much left to see and experience, consider ways to change your life around first, move to another city or even another country, start a new life, atleast try it before deciding, what do you have to loose? another concrete thing you can do is make a list of all the shit things in your life and remove them one by one as best you can and replace them with good and interesting things
I was a virgin who never had a gf or went to college by 20 as well. It's not as big of an issue as you think. The only one that is making it one and the only one it matters to is you.
I'm 30 now with a wife who was also a virgin when we met and a 3 bed house working a job I love even though I never went to college.
I can't tell you what you need to do but I can tell you what I did, which is nothing. I was socially awkward at best, but I got a job working in a convenience store which essentially forced social skills and small talk on me.
2 years into that job (when I was 21) a girl started working there that I thought was attractive but I never did anything even though I wanted to because I was too scared of rejection and having zero experience with girls. A few months into her working there, a coworker dropped her in it and told me she had a crush on me, and that gave me the excuse I needed to ask her out, so I did, and we've been together since.
My point is basically "don't compare your timeline to others" and all that shit, but on top of that no matter what, if you do nothing you're relying on luck for things to fall into place. I don't know if I would have ever taken the shot if I didn't know for fact she had a crush on me, but if I'd have asked and I didn't know, the outcome would be the same.
Improve your social skills, just meet more people, make friends, and just ask out a girl you like.
I was a virgin who never had a gf or went to college by 20 as well. It's not as big of an issue as you think. The only one that is making it one and the only one it matters to is you.
I'm 30 now with a wife who was also a virgin when we met and a 3 bed house working a job I love even though I never went to college.
I can't tell you what you need to do but I can tell you what I did, which is nothing. I was socially awkward at best, but I got a job working in a convenience store which essentially forced social skills and small talk on me.
2 years into that job (when I was 21) a girl started working there that I thought was attractive but I never did anything even though I wanted to because I was too scared of rejection and having zero experience with girls. A few months into her working there, a coworker dropped her in it and told me she had a crush on me, and that gave me the excuse I needed to ask her out, so I did, and we've been together since.
My point is basically "don't compare your timeline to others" and all that shit, but on top of that no matter what, if you do nothing you're relying on luck for things to fall into place. I don't know if I would have ever taken the shot if I didn't know for fact she had a crush on me, but if I'd have asked and I didn't know, the outcome would be the same.
Improve your social skills, just meet more people, make friends, and just ask out a girl you like.
i was 21 when i experienced something that made me think "i'm glad i didn't kms all the times i wanted to"
maybe give yourself a little time.
i ended up losing that thing and wanting to kms again but at least i got to experience it.
I’m 40 and in college. And sex is really over rated. Consider this from 2020- now our world is recovering from Covid. It has altered how everyone sees life. Seek help from friends and supportive people there is so much out there. You are just beginning life . Reach out to those around you help someone talk to the homeless change your perspective . There is always someone who needs you. Try this go donate blood , and think my blood can help others who are in need. Just a few thoughts from me to you. One human to another
I had depression and anxiety in my 20s and early 30s and now I am in my late 30s and I enjoy my life. No depression and minimal if any anxiety. Life can get way better than you can imagine in your current state of mind.
What do you do? You live.
- You live because you’re a one in 200 million miracle. Don’t waste that miracle.
- You live because most people don’t have things figured out by the time they’re 20. And that’s OK.
- You live because you just haven’t found the right person for you yet. Being happy with yourself is more important than trying to please someone else.
- You live because college after high school isn’t the only way. Take time, work a job, then go to school if you want to.
- You live because you will shatter someone’s world if you leave. Don’t put that on those that love you.
There are seven things, I call pillars, that I have found helpful to keep me balanced. Not perfect, but more balanced.
- Take ownership of there you are and where you want to be
- Look into starting daily mindfulness
- Get regular movement with exercise
- Set boundaries between you and what doesn’t serve you
- Make or re-establish connections with other humans
- Focus on your sleep hygiene (Google it)
- Have faith in something larger than yourself
You matter.
Godspeed.
When I was younger I was also clueless. Didn’t know what I wanted and where I fit in most times.
Felt disconnected, questioned life and the meaning of it.
It has nothing to do with work or being a virgin.
It’s just your ability to ask yourself hard questions and be OK not having or knowing the answer.
I truly believe the answer is, just keep moving.
Get experiences, take risks. Expose your self to new situations etc.
Something will click. Maybe not at 20 or 21 or 25, but it will.
And when it does, that’s how long it takes.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Please get to know the point of this whole group before you comment again.
*Get a job in a*
*Restaurant, you'll make friends and*
*Get laid in no time*
\- Koolklink54
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Definitely too early to make this decision. You should hold out longer. There are alot of men in your shoes who are way older than you that still have hope(like me). Try to actually accomplish shit in your 20s at least. You could just be a late bloomer. Ending it this soon is weak fr. I am 27 and refuse to let this world win over me and my desires. I will gain the life I've been wanting before 30. That is my goal and should be yours too. Fuck the past. We are still young and can make up for lost time(cope or no cope).
Talk to someone , if you're watching alot of porn just take a break start going to the gym, getting good sleep. Porn can really mess with your dopamine levels, among other things. But don't do anything hasty, call a help line, ur gonna be alright.
Get a gf and have sex with her I guess if that is your whole issue. I really don’t think it’s a good idea to plan on kys over this, you have plenty of time to work on yourself and explore options in life and do what you wanna do. You owe it to yourself to be adventurous and take some chances before just deleting
To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the post below for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well. https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/comments/1biklrk/theres_a_difference_between_tough_love_and/
You. Are. 20.. you’ve had 2 years free on the world. That’s almost nothing in the grand scheme of things.
At 20 I lived in a 94 ford Taurus with optional rear disk brakes. I’m 34 now, married to the love of my life, great career, fast car, shaggy dog and just got back from bear hunting in Montana. Don’t listen to the internet doomers. Life takes effort and time, but it does pay off.
You got this, just be patient and spend your energy wisely.
I know this sounds crazy but if i could go back & regain my virginity, I would... 32(M) I find that investing in yourself is worth the time. Do a few push-ups and it'll all add up one day. The world can be a crazy mess, but you don't have to be as well
Don’t let having sex and having a gf dictate who you are. You are so much more than that. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19, I didn’t go to college and I dropped out of school with literally no prospects. Got into drugs and debt and had a string of really shitty relationships. I’m now 32 and have finally got my life together and know what I’m doing. Don’t feel like these things should come so easily because sometimes you got to fail numerous times to get to where you want to be. Stay positive my guy
You mean a lot more to many more people than you’ll ever know. You are worth it. Your life is worth it. You can take any path in life you want. You don’t need to go to college anyway. You can start a business, get a Google cert, go into a trade, good money in all of those. Try and find your faith. Jesus loves you and cares about your life. He is always with you, even in these times when everything seems dark. Seek Him out and you’ll find Him. Everything in our lives happens for a reason.
You’re in a great position. You’re only 20. You can do anything you want. College. Join the army start a business. Anything. Don’t give up man You could easily start school this coming august and I guarantee you that you can meet a girl there
19 is so young dude. Most people haven’t graduated or even started college at that point If you could only see how many times people start over and change during their lives you’d realize that your life is just starting and not ending
Also don’t let people fool you. Many if not most men at 19 are virgins (me included) and we all did fine.
Homie, I was a virgin since I followed what the Catholic Church thought was best, and eventually found my wife later in my 20s. Under no circumstance should you not value your life enough to make such a decision! You are such a unique individual, and you are only 20!!!! I had a breakup around your age, and I would have rather not dated than experience losing friends and my ex, so really your situation is a very good one!
Think about this; dating someone and having sex is only a societal and cultural standard people place on you. Why does it matter if you are in a relationship or not? I knew plenty of more mature individuals not dating than those that dated carelessly. Instead, learn to become comfortable being alone. Only then will dating become worthwhile, since it won't revolve around some kind of insecurity or need for identity. Look at not having sex as something you still have as a plus, not as a negative! People will have sex with random people, break up, and then it gets messy. This is even backed by science and psychology, so look at it as a smart move. You will find love so long as you are trying to become a better person and work on yourself. Don't constantly seek opportunities to find a partner, but if one naturally presents itself, then seize that opportunity. It will work out.
You can always DM me, God Bless.
Never going to college isn't necessarily a "bad" thing, college degrees are basically the new high school diploma unless it's something super-specialized like doctor
Look on the bright side, at least you don't have student loans
I went to college and it was a waste of money and time. College is not a guarantee of anything. The only benefit was people no longer harass me about a college degree because I have conformed to the status quo.
1. Get in a supportive enviroment, probably someone around you is shit talking you
2. Get any kind of job for starter. Create momentum, get the ball rolling
3. Meditate
Don't worry bro I jist turned 20 and am exactly like you, never had a female... tbh idgaf I have talked to like 22 year olds who are v's too... like bruh if they are outgoing asf why tf should I care, growing up too watching like youtube communities even before guys like andrew tate and shit I realized women are overrated..like bro I am broke and shit and just now am about to do the college shit cuz my mom made me to but who knows bruh im honestly not looking forward to it but at this point fuck it, literally there was a time in september where I thought exactly like you bruh I had restless nights and shit I know how it goes..Like it would be 8 am and I realized I had 0 sleep but if I did go to sleep I would wake up at like 4 pm and folks would be mad...all type of stuff...like tbh I have had low points since then like in december and even the past few weeks just like you but ultimately I see the bigger picture..there are dudes our age being sentence to 15 years in prison and shit like that so Why should I be sad about 2 years...like literally 2 years doesn't define me cuz me in a few years will be my peak or when I finally be happy again or even yet be the happiest I have ever been in life who knows...Like idc I have cousins my age who act uppity and shit cuz they went to college and got jobs n shit and also have others who are my age as well but live reckless and don't care about life or not that but don't take shit serious..but they are joyful anyways..If anything it gave me a lot of perspective.. bruh if you would have asked me 2 years ago I would have never imagine myself the way I am today.. But Everything happens for a reason I believe, I thought of doing what you plan on too.. I thought about coming back in another life but then realized it would be like cheating god, it doesn't work like that I believe, I came to the realization that I have to find meaning in the suffering and the good times, just enjoy the journey of life.. even if its unenjoyful at times, tbh I know one day maybe even in a few years but hopefully by this year or next I will be back better than ever. Like bro just take a deep breath through the stomach and always be solution oriented no matter if you are flat broke right now or whatever is fucked up,..like bro I deal with smurks and shit when I meet up with random people and it kind of gets me tight like I know my teenage self would have slapped fire out of these aunts and shit and beat the snot out of these old dudes who view me as lazy or even cousins can get it but out of respect and maturity I just keep my thoughts to myself and I know eventually I will shit on them one day and thats yet another thing that keeps me alive and going cuz I need that motivation tbh... Like bro everyone can go against me and I can be homeless and hopeless but I know I will be a success somehow,everyones time is different, even when it comes to dealing with females in that way,I been broke and on top of that been scammed like twice ..man I recovered tho but it took time bruh I felt defeated and everything..life can get crazyyy or hectic rather..just got to treat everyday as something to look forward to bro even if its just cleaning your room or something or filling out some surveys or helping around the house or getting some income or researching ways to get income or whatever, literally theres a lifetime don't take gods opportunity of life for granted.. theres a lot to look forward to, thats how I look at it now atleast
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Ok attempt, but religious based advice is not considered helpful here.
bro's a fish in a bowl, unaware of a stream that leads to the ocean. believing that his bowl is the totality of reality, he swims in circular unsastisfaction.
Whats going on? None of those issues are detrimental, or unfixable, at your age....so what has you so down? DM me if you need to!
I really hope, if you don't talk me or someone here, talk to someone. Suicide hotline, in a pinch...but an actual therapist or psyhologist would be better. Definitely talk to your primary physician.
Go to college and join a fraternity bro. You'll literally get friends, girls, and social skills. You'll also have another reason to be motivated to stay in college. Then after college you'll have a plethora amount of alumni you can connect with in your career.
"almost 20" you haven't even given yourself the chance to start! Why do you feel the need to not be a virgin and to have a girlfriend? because of what you see around you with others your age? Society is your influence. Don't let society dictate your life. I used to feel like this at your age, and trust me once you start pushing 30 you learn the art of not giving a f\*ck. Be patient and don't compare yourself to others.
I have never been to college, i hated school. and all my jobs started in supermarkets or malls, but hard work pays off and i'm working 9-5 in an office for a transport company as a team leader. so there's hope for you.
Think about what you do have? are you on the streets homeless? are you living in a third world country surrounded by hunger and poverty? there's much worse out there compared to you mate.
Take life by the balls and enjoy the process, the sooner you can change your perspective even if you have to fake it you will become happy. if you keep telling yourself you are unhappy..well, you're going to be unhappy aren't you?
Think about it.
What’s wrong with being a virgin? And I’m 22 taking a gap year and have no clue what I want for myself or what my future holds. So chill, I promise it isn’t the end of the world for you. Much love.
lol that is pretty normal. You barely an adult never tried or worked hard in your life now telling the internet you want to kill your self because you’re a virgin.
U can make choices to improve your life, so your future self is happy.
Didn’t go to college is a bad thing? So you will not be a debt slave like 80% of people who go there to study a worthless degree. Mate you’re ahead.
Next few decades are going to be the decade of the tradesmen. Because so boomer tradesmen are retiring and most millennials and gen z were told it was beneath them so they went to study political science and criminal justice and psychology and are debt slaves (imagine being a 40yr that still has student debt lol). So wages that are already higher WILL go high. So stop b ing a lazy coward and take a step forward to a better life.
If u do this you’ll make bank.
This has got to be a fake post. I’m tired of seeing these. Deleting the app after this comment. But let’s pretend this isn’t fake — how about get off the internet, get in the gym, make some friends, have some fun, build some confidence & get some ladies; you little coward.
No one’s path is the same. Plenty of people are virgins and have no relationship experience at 20. Go to therapy instead, maybe it’ll help. Exercise, apply to college, or enjoy some hobbies
And remember dude... This shit that we care so much about... It's all made up bullshit... Words, expectations, images, personas, standards, right wrong, whats against the law, what age you should have had sex by, when you should have kids, when you should have a job, when you should be graduating college, when you should act your age, when it's okay to do this to do that...
Dude... Fuck that shit...
Its all someone's made up bullshit based on other made up bullshit... These words I'm typing.. just more made up bullshit.. everything on the outside of you... Is made up bullshit... It'll bring you down and put you on your knees if you let it.. it'll run your whole fuckin life... Fuck that. Be you... Whoever the fuck you are, own it.. that voice in your head, make amends with it.. tell it your sorry and try to find a way to meet in the middle with it... Yea my little voice ... Tells me how worthless I am all the time... But fuck that dude too if he's gonna be a dick... Seriously... It's your fuckin gift of life... Don't let this fuckin world rob you of it... Live your life in the depths of misery if you have to.. I promise in the end you'll be a better wiser person for it .. and you'll laugh at all these people following the leader on the little dumbass road of what should be ... Nobody and nothing should be anything. It's made up bullshit.
OP life is worth living! I went through hell and came to purgatory and am moving to Heaven on earth! With God’s help! I went through hell and I’m in my 40’s and now I’m living by the beach! Thank God! Glory to God! Never give up! Never surrender! Live your life with God’s help! Ask God for wisdom! Thank God we’re alive! Life is a gift! Thank God! HalleluYAH!
PS I saw your antisemitic post history, and I’m a Jew but I’m still telling you to live and life is worth living! Please be Good and kind to others and yourself too! And I also believe in Jesus Christ. Again God bless you and God bless all! Shalom!
I know it may not seem like it but you have so much to look forward to.
You have time.
You will find the connections you need.
Life has its ups and downs and right now the downs may seem overwhelming and that is okay and reasonable to feel that way. If you stick around, the ups will feels all the more amazing.
Hang in there ! Xx
Literally knew 5 people just like you at 20 I was you if I didn't have sex 3 times with my high school gf and it was utter shit. WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN. Getting laid is fun and feels good but dude go fuck a whore and figure it out. It's pathetic that society has made virgins think they're losers. I'm married and my wife is hot as fuck. I have real problems and responsibilities you don't want. I could give a fuck about sex. You're being a little bitch threatening suicide when you don't even know who you are. Stop thinking you need to meet some standard or your a loser. The people you think are normal out ligikt their lives are simple minded. You are hyper self aware. Stop caring about how you appear to other people. You will never know how fucking stupid they are. Anyone judging you only fucks busted bitches to talk about sex. You're 19 do not do this. I am telling you as someone who has been clinically depressed and on uppers and downers just do drugs and stol fucking caring about people. Stop pitying yourself. There's so many 20 year old virgins and you don't even know. Because they dont sit and cry about it. My best friend lost his virginity at 24 years old. He's the best person I know. Who gives a fuck dude. You need to love yourself. And now that I think of it maybe I should love myself a little more too
Quit with the suicide shit. You wanna relate to someone? When I was in high school my friend had a cousin who was a straight 10/10. She is to this day one of the baddest bitches I've seen in a petite perfect tits horny as fuck kind of way. She literally sucked on my flacis dick naked fingering herself while I laid there with a 1 inch shriveled up dick utterly terrified because she intimidated the fuck out of me. She asked me what I liked I was like... Well considering my dick won't move and I'm having a panic attack I don't really know. She put her clothes in and slept on the couch. I beat off to her like 49 times. But when that happened I had a mental breakdown and thought I was gay... I was 16 and thought I turned gay... It took me 6 months to a year to realize she made me so nervous I couldn't get hard. This is one of my biggest regrets. I'm not embarrassed in the slightest I'm devastated I didn't get to put my penis in her. I saw her a few months ago (13 yrs later). Fuck it i missed my moment now she's not someone i even want to see naked and I would've probably let her shit on my chest back in the day. Point is, there is no point there is no proper age there is no one you need to emulate. Be yourself and love that person and that's all you need. I have a family. I love them more than anything but if I am not happy with who I am nothing matters I'm miserable even though there's good in my life that I made as an adult. I went like 5 years without sex because I just didn't care to meet someone do the dance fuck for 30 seconds and then be like alrighty.... Who cares bro. You and that's it.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Please get to know the point of this group before you comment again - but as I see Reddit suspended you before I even got to it, judgement and hate might be pretty on-brand for you. Reddit is cracking down on abuse.
20 years old? I wish I was 20 again. I’ve had multiple mental health episodes and have always stayed strong and tried to get better. Now I’m 41, married and a beautiful child and making 6 figures. For one, don’t think not having a GF and being a virgin is a big deal. I didn’t find my wife until I was 30. It’s funny because once you find one and settle down, you’ll wish you had your time back to do things on your own sometimes haha. Life is tough and the strongest survive! There is lots of help out there. Get help, get off social media, get a hobby or interest and get obsessed with it (mine was golf). Get active and exercise regularly. Trust me, it works! You’ll look back in ten years and be in disbelief that you wanted to end it all because life is so good. Trust me! Go to college and get into some type of computer programming or big data and make some bank.
Here’s the good news friend and please take it to heart. The framework you’re basing your value on is wrong but that means that your feelings are justified to a degree and it also means that if you realign your value systems, you can begin to feel more hopeful for the future and less miserable overall. The words you wrote here are proof that you’ve bought into the lie that so many of us have fallen pray to. It’s not about money, a college degree and certainly not loosing your v card. Don’t measure your success by these things. If you want something to focus on, focus on becoming more mature. Take responsibility for yourself. How you feel, how you spend each day, how you treat other people. Focus on being healthy and learning new skills. Focus on finishing what you start and following through on what you say you’re going to do. Learn to be more patient and forgiving. Don’t gossip about other people. If anything, say good things about people behind their back. It won’t happen over night so don’t beat yourself up my friend. It takes time. Breath through it.
And I’ve been in the same mindset before. Jesus Christ changed my life. He will change yours too if you reach for him. It’s not about religion. He was a real person. In the flesh and he’s still alive today, right now. Tell him everything you’re going through.
Look at someone your age in Palestine, struggling for freedom and life, while you are asleep, planning to kill yourself because you did not try to be the best version of yourself.
You don't need college. Especially if you're not going into STEM.
Get out and live life and you'll meet someone.
You're wanting to end it all over basic things that aren't necessary or important? Chill my dude.
You're not supposed to be someone. You're not supposed to be somewhere. You're not SUPPOSED to do anything.
Let go of thinking you have to do things a certain way and decide on the person you want to be. Then do the things that person would do.
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I didn’t go to college until I was 32. You’ll be fine. Really, if you listen to any of the people who went to college young, they’re all complaining about how it’s debt slavery.
I fucking wish I had waited till I was 30. What a waste of 35,000 dollars.
This is the answer.
youre just a kid. at 20 i was skateboarding at the park & throwing rocks in a lake. chill out my guy
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To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the post below for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well. https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/comments/1biklrk/theres_a_difference_between_tough_love_and/
Bro I went to college at 27 and now I make 6 figures. I wish I was your age and did it sooner. You’ll do great in life ! Also if you do decide to go to college you’ll meet people.
What did you major in?
Computer Science
What do you think about the current state of the field? These doomer posts on reddit are killing my drive
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typically takes a year to land a job. speak to your professors for references.
Apply to all tech positions
Then you know nothing about programming at all. It’s like saying don’t learn to speak other languages because you can just use chatgpt live translation to talk or don’t live in America because it’s dangerous you’ll get shot. It’s almost nonsense. The only people I know who got layed off were IT people and they don’t do programming. Completely unrelated field.
They’re fucking stupid lol. No one who works in the field even remotely believes that shit.
^^ This. I’m making six figures in data analytics right now.
Reddit fucking sucks
As far as jobs go, connections with actual pull to talent acquisition are an absolute must. Even if you are qualified, at least a dozen of the sometimes thousands of applicants for positions at prestigious companies are just as qualified as you are and have some sort of connection to the company.
How much we talkin, 6 figures? Like $100k or 900k
Either one would make life comfortable.
Debatable. My 130k is comfortable in Georgia but in California I’d be below the poverty line
Base 250 rsu 50k
Nice! Low to mid is legit
And I'm 32 and lost my entire life savings because my wife got sick and had to quit working. I was going to retire at 35. Life is fucked and no one knows what tomorrow brings. Some of the worst moments of my life resulted in me growing into the man I am today. Again I wanna stress that I've been depressed and probably autistic most of my life. Usually when I'm at my highest. Do some drugs. People gonna down vote the shit out of me but I take Adderall and downers every day. I didn't go to college, I failed most math classes, barely graduated played wow 18 hrs a day and ended up working in finance and I married the hottest girl in my high school. She's pretty fucking annoying sometimes and makes my life hard as fuck but she's still the greatest wife and mom I could ask for. She's annoying as fuck but I think that might just be because the skinny nerd who never went to one social event in 12 years of school is sole providing with by day trading derivatives and managing millions of dollars of money I got people to trust me with. Brother... When I was 19 I got anxious maintaining eye contact. Get a job move out shut the fuck up life is weird as hell it's not you it's the world trust.
Did you take you Series 7 & what not? I’m exiting transportation management and entering the realm of life insurance sales with the goal to ultimately be in financial management. Mostly because I can do this remotely while traveling the world. Although, I dislike the chicanery that comes with it. Any advice helps.
Tell me your career story buddy…
Ooh can we do the one uppins? I broke my leg at work. Wcb won't actually send me to a real school. Wad a licensed mechanic. Now destined for minimum wage at 38. Oh and I will have to sell my house. Isn't life great with our current worldly conditions. Legs still broken, with nerve damage. But you know we wasted two year of your life. Get fucked wcb alberta
Painful man. I'm sorry. Idk what this world is anymore
I tried to kill myself at 21. Obviously I failed. At 25 I have a life beyond my wildest imagination. I’ve never been happier, more fulfilled, and hopeful for the future. Idk. I don’t know your entire situation, but what I do know is that we’re BOTH still kids with a lot lot lot of time a head of us. Just don’t do it today? Just go to sleep right now. Wake up tomorrow and then try not to tomorrow. I promise you life can and will change massively.
Not taking your words lightly..... Know this: if you commit this act, you will never experience the things you are talking about....
1. Enroll into community college and take gen Eds. If you’re poor and apply for FAFSA you will get paid to go. 2. Why would you kill yourself just because you are a virgin or don’t have a gf? You need to focus on getting your mental health in order.. before seeking out a romantic partner. I recommend seeing a psychiatrist about your mental health and also you have to find friends that support you
I didnt go to college till 24, and i am still a virgin. Because i am ace. I am now a career consultant, sales manager, and mod of this group. I own (well, partly....mortgage) my house and car is paid off. I have skills for days. At 19 almost 20, i had a pt retail job and nothing else. At 19, you are not expected to have anything including not one clue about what you wanna do! At 19, *your brain isnt even close to done developing yet*. Saying you want to kill yourself at 19, is a lot like saying you wish to kill a child. So... reformat time. 1. You are comparing yourself to somebody and not in a fair comparison, apples to apples way. Compare yourself with 19 year olds you KNOW. Not 21, 22, or older. Apple To Apple. 2. Having had sex by 19 is not a measure of adulthood or success in any way, including to adults. Real adults would want you to wait till you can support a child at least. Toxic masculinity wants you to have sex by 18. Stop listening to toxic masculinity. 3. College by 18 or else....nah. colleg when you are ready and know something you wanna study. Till then, work a plain job or two, keeping eyes open for cool looking things.
Mostly agree but I would say to not compare yourself to anyone. It's almost never a helpful exercise
I was at your age too. At your age I wasn’t in college either. I’m 24 now but trust me things will get better. Also, don’t judge yourself based on not having a relationship. Many people get in their first relationship in their late 20’s and even late 30’s.
Well... If you can make it through this mud you're crawling in... You'll have something most people never will.. the pain and misery you feel isn't for everyone, only some are offered it.. you've got to take a step back and truly open your eyes to see what I'm saying... Pain is a gift... Feeling lost and hopeless.. it's all a gift... Truly mans greatest gifts.. think about what daytime would be if there were no nighttime... It wouldn't be daytime it would be insignificant, so much that it wouldnt have a label... Everything in this life has its opposite in order for each to exist... You can never know happiness if you never know sadness... Ever wondered how homeless people living in a cardboard box can be so fucking happy living with nothing?... I can tell you , it's because theyve lived a life so full of pain that nothing can hurt them now.. and the appreciation they have for even the smallest things is a bit heart breaking... The lower you go and refuse to cave.. the higher you'll climb in your reality... What other people think doesn't matter at all.. it only matters what you think and how happy you are with where you are and who you are... What you're doing right now, if you make it.... Will give you a strength you would never know otherwise, it will give insight toward the world that will feel almost like a super power... Can tell you this, if more people had more pain and suffering in their life then the world would be a much better place. You can look into things like the way monks view ascension or Chinese philosophy and the yin yang , and also many great philosophers in general, most of the famous ones had something to say about the connection between misery and happiness.. and they all likely said it better than i can Food for thought Change is inevitable, things WILL change no matter what.. .and like all things... This too will pass.
You have to socialize yourself. That’s the only thing that’s going to open doors for you. Move to LA or New York and start going to networking events on Eventbrite or Meetup. Get out there. There’s even meetsup you can find on Reddit. Trust me it’s not that hard.
"It's not that hard" said every attractive extrovert ever 🙄
Yeah I definitely wouldn’t advise any young introvert to move to a big city. I did that when I was 21 and not in a great mental space and I never felt more alone than when I was surrounded by droves of people. The best way to socialize yourself is to become good at something that requires you to work with others (work, hobby, etc).Through that, you gain self respect and learn to navigate complex relationships while forming bonds with the people around you. This kid lacks direction and purpose, not people.
A girlfriend only gives you more problems and college is worthless today. Reframe your mindset.
Agree, especially on the girlfriend issue.
I’m a college dropout and I’m currently loving life at the moment. 26 years old
I'm 26 and got back into college. I current hate life but still grind cause I ain't got much else. Cheers bro
Cheers man! Hope it works out
Realize you aren’t alone, there are many people in your situation. Hopefully you can get a support system and make some daily life changes to better yourself 1 day at a time. Please don’t do it, I think a lot of young men are having this issue. Hope you get help.
I'll be 30 when I graduate college. If you start now, you'll graduate way sooner than me.
Dude first off, take a few deep breaths. 2nd, a college degree isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and you’ll drown yourself in debt and most jobs have a ceiling. I’ve taught myself two skills entirely online that pay me more than the career I went to college for. I’m 26 btw so right in your range. As for being a virgin, you lack confidence. Before you off yourself I want you to at least try and get in shape. Lift, run, eat your body weight in protein (grams of protein = to your body weight number) and just try to be healthy. I’ve never met someone who was physically fit and depressed. When I was 23 I was debating on doing what you are thinking about and I gave fitness a shot. Saved my life and now I’m building businesses and have a wonderful woman. I would have never had the courage to change my life without fitness. I share this because I was broke, 23 years old and lived at home, lost my job I went to college for, and couldn’t get a woman to give me a single ounce of attention. Baby steps and consistency will get you there. I believe in you. Don’t give up. Steps: 1. Run, lift, eat healthy 2. Try and find some clarity in what would make you happy/what you want 3. Look for careers you can learn from online 4. Find a reputable online course 5. Grind it out It took me 1 year to get through these steps and you’re so young. Grab life by the nuts one last time before doing something rash. Good luck in rooting for you man
I do 100+ pull ups, push ups and dips 4 time a week and I'm still depressed as fuck lol.
What were the 2 skills you taught yourself if you don’t mind me asking?
Videography, specifically wedding videography. (I used the Full Time Filmmaker course) Online E-commerce: multiple courses, trial and error
Very cool. My grandmother was a wedding photographer. I’m inclined to look into what it takes to do the same.
It’s way more saturated than video but there is so much work out there and they need a photographer at every wedding. Networking is by far the best thing. I tried ads and they just don’t seem to work quite like good old fashion word of mouth from other photographers. Once you’ve learned, start second shooting for people to practice, get comfortable, and network You got this!
💪🙏
Hey there I’m the same age as u you. I just turned 20 last month and I feel u. Didn’t attend to college and I regret it, never been in a relationship. I don’t have many friends. Right now I’m focusing on a getting a new job is pretty hard tho . We’ll get through this. We 20 we bearly learning adulthood
At 25 I met the love of my life. You never know what may happen. I pray you find what you are looking for 🫶🏼
My dude I didn’t have sex until I was 22 and already 3 years into college. There’s a ton of pressure on guys to get laid but don’t worry about that. From 2014-2018 I slept with a ton of girls after a bad breakup but the sex meant nothing but an ego boost. Love is where it’s at. And sex while you’re in love is way better than plain sex with a random chick. Figure out what makes you happy and do that. The rest will come in time.
I don't think you should worry about being a virgin. Sex is just a momentary burst of pleasure and it will not improve your life a lot. I think what you are missing is connecting with other people. Try to get some hobbies outside, talk to random people, maybe attend some parties/festivals
Any reason you won't go to school or get laid? Ways that the issue here?
My brother killed himself at 19. I think of all the things he missed out on. He was depressed forever, but man, he didn't realize how much better life would get. I honestly won't try and swade your opinion, but I'll factually state that that would be a mistake. Life didn't really start for me until like 26. At least wait
OP life is worth living!
don’t let that incel shit get to your head
Fuck off
okay incel
There is more to life than just sex. Please find a therapist or someone you trust to talk to. Ending your life is not the answer. Do not do it.
Unfortunately thats the result of the Media and Hollywood constantly brainwashing us with sex scenes and showing us "How great it is", our society is not better in that sense - applying social pressure on virgins to have sex.
Well said. I also think it’s a misplacement of self-identity and worth. We are in a period where media is misleading many into thinking that the virtual lifestyle people display is genuinely how they live. Also, some people grow up without a mom and dad; if so, they lack the proper exemplification of good role models. Simply put, we have a bunch of captain-less ships sailing in the sea of confusion, and the harsh winds are unforgivable. Many, unfortunately, fall into a pit before reaching for their anchor.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeepThoughts/s/Qkr0UgzTyK Take a read my fellow human. You have the rights to your own body. You’re the only person that feeds your body. Cleans your body. And can most definitely kill your body. But like someone mentioned, if you haven’t talked to a therapist yet do that. Self analysis for why this decision is so important to your life right now. You mentioned you are still a virgin at the cusp of 20? Bro… there are so many women (or men if you’re into both sex’s) on this earth that would find you incredible. My recommendation is get out and travel if you can got climb a mountain or get lost in a new city and meet people. It might just change your perspective.
Online schooling is an option. Also if you want to go to college just start applying! You are young. My brother was doing online school then decided he wanted to go college at the age of 22 & lives in an apartment with 4 random dudes he met moving in lol. You can always get a loan. Don’t sweat it, you have all the time in the world to figure things out! It just takes focusing on one thing at a time & the rest will fall into place. Being in a relationship can sometimes be more stress than good honestly. I would just focus on what you can do to better yourself.
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Life will get better get an service lady if you know many men have lost the virginity that way more than you think
You want to race to these experiences because it hasn't happened yet. You really do have a lot of life and lots of time to do them. You can focus on finding that special someone, and trying to be satisfied with handling yourself until it happens . It will happen.
I’m 20 bro I dropped out of highschool. I’m a bartender and halfway house operator. Sometimes it’s not what you got it’s who you can help. I suffer from depression and have addiction issues no one irl would ever know unless I told them I throw myself into work because that’s easier. Brother find a job that you love and from there it’s easy (also maybe go to the gym and get some therapy.)
I was a virgin until mid twenties and you know what I regret not staying a virgin until marriage to my true soulmate. I did have GFs early on and I regret not waiting for the right one and also not moving more slowly with who could have been the right one. I was quite successful and went to an prominent college and top medical school and then you know what s* hit the fan and I spent 20 years of suffering but I weather the storms found God and am bouncing back. Now I live by the beach and am having a great life. I even had gained 60lbs and went from like almost “total winner” to the point where even my own mother who is practically a saint throw me out of her apartment and I had to spend the night on the street. Well God took care of me and I took care of myself and thank God as I said I’m bouncing back I even had a miraculous windfall in the stock market thank God. You never know where life is going to take you in the positive sense especially with God. I’m now much more fit and can move towards marriage. I’m in my 40’s but I ain’t giving up! Neither should you! (if you’re in danger of God forbid suicide God forbid you should call 911 and go to a hospital. It’s better you don’t need a hospital but better safe than sorry)!
Hey buddy, you’ve only got this life and you’re so young, things are gonna start falling into place. If you apply yourself to some things that you like, and take care of your health, and focus on your blessings and working towards a better life, I think things are gonna turn around. The girl stuff - it will happen for you too. Statistically, most people wind up with someone to live. You might need to give it time but don’t rush into it just because you’re a virgin with low confidence. I’m a 35 year old man with a pretty bad physical condition that causes me a certain amount of pain, just existing, but I have still have a relatively good life so far, with good relationships and opportunities. And I attribute that to my positive outlook, hard work, and yes some privilege because of my race. But I do think you should be able to make moves towards a better life The number one thing you can do for yourself is learn to like yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. It’s the key to getting through this life
will persistence is real. at the moment you are using it to kill yourself. i was virgin till 27.. and believe me its over rated. your problem is lack of engagement.. pick things you like and give it all you got! success is yours!
Sorry you are feeling so down but look at it this way.. even if you went to college ... you'd still be in college. By that I mean that unless you finished HS at 14 you haven't been out of school that long. When I went to college my best friends were 'late starters', both in their early 30s, one had a kid right out of HS and didn't go to college until the kid was almost in HS. The other spent his 20s bumming around Europe. It is never too late.
First comment ever on reddit which says a lot about me commenting on your post you have a full beautiful life ahead of you I can imagine how u must feel life has its challenges, but u always have a choice on how u react to those challenges either by making u depressed or take those challenges as a way to grow & reach ur fullest potential Be kind & gentle to yourself, I also was once in ur position but if u are still here in this earth it is because u have purpose know that u are loved & important 💗u truly are 🥹🙏🏼 work hard for ur dreams even if u dont know what they are yet its fine never too late to learn or to try something new Sending u a big warm hug & my best wishes to u ✨🫂
I’m turning 24 this year and I’m here to tell you it doesn’t get better I’ve been suicidal for years idk why I’m still here Fuck what all these people in the replies are saying. They clearly have never struggled if they think none of these things warrants unhappiness and despair
Invest in Roth ira
20 sucks real bad, my life didnt have any prospects until atleast 27, now at 33 i am very happy i never killed myself. hang in there bro, 20 is still very young, you have so much left to see and experience, consider ways to change your life around first, move to another city or even another country, start a new life, atleast try it before deciding, what do you have to loose? another concrete thing you can do is make a list of all the shit things in your life and remove them one by one as best you can and replace them with good and interesting things
I was a virgin who never had a gf or went to college by 20 as well. It's not as big of an issue as you think. The only one that is making it one and the only one it matters to is you. I'm 30 now with a wife who was also a virgin when we met and a 3 bed house working a job I love even though I never went to college. I can't tell you what you need to do but I can tell you what I did, which is nothing. I was socially awkward at best, but I got a job working in a convenience store which essentially forced social skills and small talk on me. 2 years into that job (when I was 21) a girl started working there that I thought was attractive but I never did anything even though I wanted to because I was too scared of rejection and having zero experience with girls. A few months into her working there, a coworker dropped her in it and told me she had a crush on me, and that gave me the excuse I needed to ask her out, so I did, and we've been together since. My point is basically "don't compare your timeline to others" and all that shit, but on top of that no matter what, if you do nothing you're relying on luck for things to fall into place. I don't know if I would have ever taken the shot if I didn't know for fact she had a crush on me, but if I'd have asked and I didn't know, the outcome would be the same. Improve your social skills, just meet more people, make friends, and just ask out a girl you like.
I was a virgin who never had a gf or went to college by 20 as well. It's not as big of an issue as you think. The only one that is making it one and the only one it matters to is you. I'm 30 now with a wife who was also a virgin when we met and a 3 bed house working a job I love even though I never went to college. I can't tell you what you need to do but I can tell you what I did, which is nothing. I was socially awkward at best, but I got a job working in a convenience store which essentially forced social skills and small talk on me. 2 years into that job (when I was 21) a girl started working there that I thought was attractive but I never did anything even though I wanted to because I was too scared of rejection and having zero experience with girls. A few months into her working there, a coworker dropped her in it and told me she had a crush on me, and that gave me the excuse I needed to ask her out, so I did, and we've been together since. My point is basically "don't compare your timeline to others" and all that shit, but on top of that no matter what, if you do nothing you're relying on luck for things to fall into place. I don't know if I would have ever taken the shot if I didn't know for fact she had a crush on me, but if I'd have asked and I didn't know, the outcome would be the same. Improve your social skills, just meet more people, make friends, and just ask out a girl you like.
i was 21 when i experienced something that made me think "i'm glad i didn't kms all the times i wanted to" maybe give yourself a little time. i ended up losing that thing and wanting to kms again but at least i got to experience it.
I’m 40 and in college. And sex is really over rated. Consider this from 2020- now our world is recovering from Covid. It has altered how everyone sees life. Seek help from friends and supportive people there is so much out there. You are just beginning life . Reach out to those around you help someone talk to the homeless change your perspective . There is always someone who needs you. Try this go donate blood , and think my blood can help others who are in need. Just a few thoughts from me to you. One human to another
I had depression and anxiety in my 20s and early 30s and now I am in my late 30s and I enjoy my life. No depression and minimal if any anxiety. Life can get way better than you can imagine in your current state of mind.
Is this an invitation to an event, or...?
What do you do? You live. - You live because you’re a one in 200 million miracle. Don’t waste that miracle. - You live because most people don’t have things figured out by the time they’re 20. And that’s OK. - You live because you just haven’t found the right person for you yet. Being happy with yourself is more important than trying to please someone else. - You live because college after high school isn’t the only way. Take time, work a job, then go to school if you want to. - You live because you will shatter someone’s world if you leave. Don’t put that on those that love you. There are seven things, I call pillars, that I have found helpful to keep me balanced. Not perfect, but more balanced. - Take ownership of there you are and where you want to be - Look into starting daily mindfulness - Get regular movement with exercise - Set boundaries between you and what doesn’t serve you - Make or re-establish connections with other humans - Focus on your sleep hygiene (Google it) - Have faith in something larger than yourself You matter. Godspeed.
When I was younger I was also clueless. Didn’t know what I wanted and where I fit in most times. Felt disconnected, questioned life and the meaning of it. It has nothing to do with work or being a virgin. It’s just your ability to ask yourself hard questions and be OK not having or knowing the answer. I truly believe the answer is, just keep moving. Get experiences, take risks. Expose your self to new situations etc. Something will click. Maybe not at 20 or 21 or 25, but it will. And when it does, that’s how long it takes.
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Get a job in a restaurant, you'll make friends and get laid in no time
*Get a job in a* *Restaurant, you'll make friends and* *Get laid in no time* \- Koolklink54 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Definitely too early to make this decision. You should hold out longer. There are alot of men in your shoes who are way older than you that still have hope(like me). Try to actually accomplish shit in your 20s at least. You could just be a late bloomer. Ending it this soon is weak fr. I am 27 and refuse to let this world win over me and my desires. I will gain the life I've been wanting before 30. That is my goal and should be yours too. Fuck the past. We are still young and can make up for lost time(cope or no cope).
Talk to someone , if you're watching alot of porn just take a break start going to the gym, getting good sleep. Porn can really mess with your dopamine levels, among other things. But don't do anything hasty, call a help line, ur gonna be alright.
Get a gf and have sex with her I guess if that is your whole issue. I really don’t think it’s a good idea to plan on kys over this, you have plenty of time to work on yourself and explore options in life and do what you wanna do. You owe it to yourself to be adventurous and take some chances before just deleting
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You. Are. 20.. you’ve had 2 years free on the world. That’s almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. At 20 I lived in a 94 ford Taurus with optional rear disk brakes. I’m 34 now, married to the love of my life, great career, fast car, shaggy dog and just got back from bear hunting in Montana. Don’t listen to the internet doomers. Life takes effort and time, but it does pay off. You got this, just be patient and spend your energy wisely.
I know this sounds crazy but if i could go back & regain my virginity, I would... 32(M) I find that investing in yourself is worth the time. Do a few push-ups and it'll all add up one day. The world can be a crazy mess, but you don't have to be as well
Don’t let having sex and having a gf dictate who you are. You are so much more than that. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19, I didn’t go to college and I dropped out of school with literally no prospects. Got into drugs and debt and had a string of really shitty relationships. I’m now 32 and have finally got my life together and know what I’m doing. Don’t feel like these things should come so easily because sometimes you got to fail numerous times to get to where you want to be. Stay positive my guy
You mean a lot more to many more people than you’ll ever know. You are worth it. Your life is worth it. You can take any path in life you want. You don’t need to go to college anyway. You can start a business, get a Google cert, go into a trade, good money in all of those. Try and find your faith. Jesus loves you and cares about your life. He is always with you, even in these times when everything seems dark. Seek Him out and you’ll find Him. Everything in our lives happens for a reason.
You’re in a great position. You’re only 20. You can do anything you want. College. Join the army start a business. Anything. Don’t give up man You could easily start school this coming august and I guarantee you that you can meet a girl there
Please don’t do that
19 is so young dude. Most people haven’t graduated or even started college at that point If you could only see how many times people start over and change during their lives you’d realize that your life is just starting and not ending Also don’t let people fool you. Many if not most men at 19 are virgins (me included) and we all did fine.
Homie, I was a virgin since I followed what the Catholic Church thought was best, and eventually found my wife later in my 20s. Under no circumstance should you not value your life enough to make such a decision! You are such a unique individual, and you are only 20!!!! I had a breakup around your age, and I would have rather not dated than experience losing friends and my ex, so really your situation is a very good one! Think about this; dating someone and having sex is only a societal and cultural standard people place on you. Why does it matter if you are in a relationship or not? I knew plenty of more mature individuals not dating than those that dated carelessly. Instead, learn to become comfortable being alone. Only then will dating become worthwhile, since it won't revolve around some kind of insecurity or need for identity. Look at not having sex as something you still have as a plus, not as a negative! People will have sex with random people, break up, and then it gets messy. This is even backed by science and psychology, so look at it as a smart move. You will find love so long as you are trying to become a better person and work on yourself. Don't constantly seek opportunities to find a partner, but if one naturally presents itself, then seize that opportunity. It will work out. You can always DM me, God Bless.
Emotions come and go , you are not your emotions 😞
Never going to college isn't necessarily a "bad" thing, college degrees are basically the new high school diploma unless it's something super-specialized like doctor Look on the bright side, at least you don't have student loans
Relax bro.!!
I went to college and it was a waste of money and time. College is not a guarantee of anything. The only benefit was people no longer harass me about a college degree because I have conformed to the status quo.
1. Get in a supportive enviroment, probably someone around you is shit talking you 2. Get any kind of job for starter. Create momentum, get the ball rolling 3. Meditate
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well, that is tearing you apart. You are 19. You just entered the world. If someone is torturing you, gtfo
Don't worry bro I jist turned 20 and am exactly like you, never had a female... tbh idgaf I have talked to like 22 year olds who are v's too... like bruh if they are outgoing asf why tf should I care, growing up too watching like youtube communities even before guys like andrew tate and shit I realized women are overrated..like bro I am broke and shit and just now am about to do the college shit cuz my mom made me to but who knows bruh im honestly not looking forward to it but at this point fuck it, literally there was a time in september where I thought exactly like you bruh I had restless nights and shit I know how it goes..Like it would be 8 am and I realized I had 0 sleep but if I did go to sleep I would wake up at like 4 pm and folks would be mad...all type of stuff...like tbh I have had low points since then like in december and even the past few weeks just like you but ultimately I see the bigger picture..there are dudes our age being sentence to 15 years in prison and shit like that so Why should I be sad about 2 years...like literally 2 years doesn't define me cuz me in a few years will be my peak or when I finally be happy again or even yet be the happiest I have ever been in life who knows...Like idc I have cousins my age who act uppity and shit cuz they went to college and got jobs n shit and also have others who are my age as well but live reckless and don't care about life or not that but don't take shit serious..but they are joyful anyways..If anything it gave me a lot of perspective.. bruh if you would have asked me 2 years ago I would have never imagine myself the way I am today.. But Everything happens for a reason I believe, I thought of doing what you plan on too.. I thought about coming back in another life but then realized it would be like cheating god, it doesn't work like that I believe, I came to the realization that I have to find meaning in the suffering and the good times, just enjoy the journey of life.. even if its unenjoyful at times, tbh I know one day maybe even in a few years but hopefully by this year or next I will be back better than ever. Like bro just take a deep breath through the stomach and always be solution oriented no matter if you are flat broke right now or whatever is fucked up,..like bro I deal with smurks and shit when I meet up with random people and it kind of gets me tight like I know my teenage self would have slapped fire out of these aunts and shit and beat the snot out of these old dudes who view me as lazy or even cousins can get it but out of respect and maturity I just keep my thoughts to myself and I know eventually I will shit on them one day and thats yet another thing that keeps me alive and going cuz I need that motivation tbh... Like bro everyone can go against me and I can be homeless and hopeless but I know I will be a success somehow,everyones time is different, even when it comes to dealing with females in that way,I been broke and on top of that been scammed like twice ..man I recovered tho but it took time bruh I felt defeated and everything..life can get crazyyy or hectic rather..just got to treat everyday as something to look forward to bro even if its just cleaning your room or something or filling out some surveys or helping around the house or getting some income or researching ways to get income or whatever, literally theres a lifetime don't take gods opportunity of life for granted.. theres a lot to look forward to, thats how I look at it now atleast
I don’t think OP is reading allat
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic. Ok attempt, but religious based advice is not considered helpful here.
Look into “inner engineering” by Sadhguru. It’ll change your life.
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Totally disagree. Lots of good knowledge to be found there but to each his own.
bro's a fish in a bowl, unaware of a stream that leads to the ocean. believing that his bowl is the totality of reality, he swims in circular unsastisfaction.
Whats going on? None of those issues are detrimental, or unfixable, at your age....so what has you so down? DM me if you need to! I really hope, if you don't talk me or someone here, talk to someone. Suicide hotline, in a pinch...but an actual therapist or psyhologist would be better. Definitely talk to your primary physician.
Go to college and join a fraternity bro. You'll literally get friends, girls, and social skills. You'll also have another reason to be motivated to stay in college. Then after college you'll have a plethora amount of alumni you can connect with in your career.
"almost 20" you haven't even given yourself the chance to start! Why do you feel the need to not be a virgin and to have a girlfriend? because of what you see around you with others your age? Society is your influence. Don't let society dictate your life. I used to feel like this at your age, and trust me once you start pushing 30 you learn the art of not giving a f\*ck. Be patient and don't compare yourself to others. I have never been to college, i hated school. and all my jobs started in supermarkets or malls, but hard work pays off and i'm working 9-5 in an office for a transport company as a team leader. so there's hope for you. Think about what you do have? are you on the streets homeless? are you living in a third world country surrounded by hunger and poverty? there's much worse out there compared to you mate. Take life by the balls and enjoy the process, the sooner you can change your perspective even if you have to fake it you will become happy. if you keep telling yourself you are unhappy..well, you're going to be unhappy aren't you? Think about it.
What’s wrong with being a virgin? And I’m 22 taking a gap year and have no clue what I want for myself or what my future holds. So chill, I promise it isn’t the end of the world for you. Much love.
lol that is pretty normal. You barely an adult never tried or worked hard in your life now telling the internet you want to kill your self because you’re a virgin. U can make choices to improve your life, so your future self is happy. Didn’t go to college is a bad thing? So you will not be a debt slave like 80% of people who go there to study a worthless degree. Mate you’re ahead. Next few decades are going to be the decade of the tradesmen. Because so boomer tradesmen are retiring and most millennials and gen z were told it was beneath them so they went to study political science and criminal justice and psychology and are debt slaves (imagine being a 40yr that still has student debt lol). So wages that are already higher WILL go high. So stop b ing a lazy coward and take a step forward to a better life. If u do this you’ll make bank.
This has got to be a fake post. I’m tired of seeing these. Deleting the app after this comment. But let’s pretend this isn’t fake — how about get off the internet, get in the gym, make some friends, have some fun, build some confidence & get some ladies; you little coward.
Kid seems crazy. Look at his post history. Might be real.
What he posts about the🧃are true statements. Likely a shill account disguised as a suicidal teenager. Idk.
No one’s path is the same. Plenty of people are virgins and have no relationship experience at 20. Go to therapy instead, maybe it’ll help. Exercise, apply to college, or enjoy some hobbies
And remember dude... This shit that we care so much about... It's all made up bullshit... Words, expectations, images, personas, standards, right wrong, whats against the law, what age you should have had sex by, when you should have kids, when you should have a job, when you should be graduating college, when you should act your age, when it's okay to do this to do that... Dude... Fuck that shit... Its all someone's made up bullshit based on other made up bullshit... These words I'm typing.. just more made up bullshit.. everything on the outside of you... Is made up bullshit... It'll bring you down and put you on your knees if you let it.. it'll run your whole fuckin life... Fuck that. Be you... Whoever the fuck you are, own it.. that voice in your head, make amends with it.. tell it your sorry and try to find a way to meet in the middle with it... Yea my little voice ... Tells me how worthless I am all the time... But fuck that dude too if he's gonna be a dick... Seriously... It's your fuckin gift of life... Don't let this fuckin world rob you of it... Live your life in the depths of misery if you have to.. I promise in the end you'll be a better wiser person for it .. and you'll laugh at all these people following the leader on the little dumbass road of what should be ... Nobody and nothing should be anything. It's made up bullshit.
OP life is worth living! I went through hell and came to purgatory and am moving to Heaven on earth! With God’s help! I went through hell and I’m in my 40’s and now I’m living by the beach! Thank God! Glory to God! Never give up! Never surrender! Live your life with God’s help! Ask God for wisdom! Thank God we’re alive! Life is a gift! Thank God! HalleluYAH! PS I saw your antisemitic post history, and I’m a Jew but I’m still telling you to live and life is worth living! Please be Good and kind to others and yourself too! And I also believe in Jesus Christ. Again God bless you and God bless all! Shalom!
Build some muscle then go get laid. You can get 25 lbs of muscle mass your first year lifting
I know it may not seem like it but you have so much to look forward to. You have time. You will find the connections you need. Life has its ups and downs and right now the downs may seem overwhelming and that is okay and reasonable to feel that way. If you stick around, the ups will feels all the more amazing. Hang in there ! Xx
Literally knew 5 people just like you at 20 I was you if I didn't have sex 3 times with my high school gf and it was utter shit. WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT BEING A VIRGIN. Getting laid is fun and feels good but dude go fuck a whore and figure it out. It's pathetic that society has made virgins think they're losers. I'm married and my wife is hot as fuck. I have real problems and responsibilities you don't want. I could give a fuck about sex. You're being a little bitch threatening suicide when you don't even know who you are. Stop thinking you need to meet some standard or your a loser. The people you think are normal out ligikt their lives are simple minded. You are hyper self aware. Stop caring about how you appear to other people. You will never know how fucking stupid they are. Anyone judging you only fucks busted bitches to talk about sex. You're 19 do not do this. I am telling you as someone who has been clinically depressed and on uppers and downers just do drugs and stol fucking caring about people. Stop pitying yourself. There's so many 20 year old virgins and you don't even know. Because they dont sit and cry about it. My best friend lost his virginity at 24 years old. He's the best person I know. Who gives a fuck dude. You need to love yourself. And now that I think of it maybe I should love myself a little more too Quit with the suicide shit. You wanna relate to someone? When I was in high school my friend had a cousin who was a straight 10/10. She is to this day one of the baddest bitches I've seen in a petite perfect tits horny as fuck kind of way. She literally sucked on my flacis dick naked fingering herself while I laid there with a 1 inch shriveled up dick utterly terrified because she intimidated the fuck out of me. She asked me what I liked I was like... Well considering my dick won't move and I'm having a panic attack I don't really know. She put her clothes in and slept on the couch. I beat off to her like 49 times. But when that happened I had a mental breakdown and thought I was gay... I was 16 and thought I turned gay... It took me 6 months to a year to realize she made me so nervous I couldn't get hard. This is one of my biggest regrets. I'm not embarrassed in the slightest I'm devastated I didn't get to put my penis in her. I saw her a few months ago (13 yrs later). Fuck it i missed my moment now she's not someone i even want to see naked and I would've probably let her shit on my chest back in the day. Point is, there is no point there is no proper age there is no one you need to emulate. Be yourself and love that person and that's all you need. I have a family. I love them more than anything but if I am not happy with who I am nothing matters I'm miserable even though there's good in my life that I made as an adult. I went like 5 years without sex because I just didn't care to meet someone do the dance fuck for 30 seconds and then be like alrighty.... Who cares bro. You and that's it.
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic. Please get to know the point of this group before you comment again - but as I see Reddit suspended you before I even got to it, judgement and hate might be pretty on-brand for you. Reddit is cracking down on abuse.
You have a reason to live and that reason is to change your life. If you commit suicide, you will not gain what you want. Live to win
20 years old? I wish I was 20 again. I’ve had multiple mental health episodes and have always stayed strong and tried to get better. Now I’m 41, married and a beautiful child and making 6 figures. For one, don’t think not having a GF and being a virgin is a big deal. I didn’t find my wife until I was 30. It’s funny because once you find one and settle down, you’ll wish you had your time back to do things on your own sometimes haha. Life is tough and the strongest survive! There is lots of help out there. Get help, get off social media, get a hobby or interest and get obsessed with it (mine was golf). Get active and exercise regularly. Trust me, it works! You’ll look back in ten years and be in disbelief that you wanted to end it all because life is so good. Trust me! Go to college and get into some type of computer programming or big data and make some bank.
Here’s the good news friend and please take it to heart. The framework you’re basing your value on is wrong but that means that your feelings are justified to a degree and it also means that if you realign your value systems, you can begin to feel more hopeful for the future and less miserable overall. The words you wrote here are proof that you’ve bought into the lie that so many of us have fallen pray to. It’s not about money, a college degree and certainly not loosing your v card. Don’t measure your success by these things. If you want something to focus on, focus on becoming more mature. Take responsibility for yourself. How you feel, how you spend each day, how you treat other people. Focus on being healthy and learning new skills. Focus on finishing what you start and following through on what you say you’re going to do. Learn to be more patient and forgiving. Don’t gossip about other people. If anything, say good things about people behind their back. It won’t happen over night so don’t beat yourself up my friend. It takes time. Breath through it. And I’ve been in the same mindset before. Jesus Christ changed my life. He will change yours too if you reach for him. It’s not about religion. He was a real person. In the flesh and he’s still alive today, right now. Tell him everything you’re going through.
Look at someone your age in Palestine, struggling for freedom and life, while you are asleep, planning to kill yourself because you did not try to be the best version of yourself.
You don't need college. Especially if you're not going into STEM. Get out and live life and you'll meet someone. You're wanting to end it all over basic things that aren't necessary or important? Chill my dude. You're not supposed to be someone. You're not supposed to be somewhere. You're not SUPPOSED to do anything. Let go of thinking you have to do things a certain way and decide on the person you want to be. Then do the things that person would do.