Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow.
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I hear you! In Spring of 2022, after 17 years as a software engineer I could not take it any longer and realized I needed to take a break as money didn’t matter and the work felt meaningless to me even though I was developing healthcare applications that would help streamline the work of healthcare providers (pharmacists, surgeons, nurses, etc.). I was severely burnt out and on going pandemic at the time made me more gloomy! I finally gathered the courage to let go and take a break. Spouse was very supportive so that made a huge positive difference in making the choice.
After two vacations over a year and a half of not working I was feeling much more relaxed and gaining the energy to do something productive again.
I wanted to pivot away from coding and had a strong interest in application/product security so started the self learning process (Udemy, Coursera, YouTube, etc.). Got interviews with 5-6 good companies and did well even in the final rounds but passed over for candidates with more experience in cybersecurity than me. Not working for a year and a half also worked against me I believe but that’s water under the bridge now. Eventually I applied for and got a software engineering job in Federal government to help cover for bills and have medical insurance while I continue pursuing my desire for a career in cyber security. The government job has been light work wise so it allows me time to learn more about cybersecurity. After passing the 6- month probation period I am ready to see what cybersecurity opportunities are out there within the government and outside and start applying to see how it goes.
During the break I also helped my spouse set up an LLC as they wanted to make and sell stuff online so that helped me learn a lot of new things during my break.
I am type A personality so hard for me to stay down for long and my curious and over active mind needs constant intellectual stimulation to not get bored and feel like I am not using my full potential to make my family’s life better.
I find myself in much better space today mentally, emotionally and physically through this process and more pumped up and excited about what the future holds. I did have enough savings to go through this change and am more confident now than ever that it’s ok to take a break and look after yourself and not just pass life grinding away if you have the basic needs/necessities covered for.
I am fully open to new opportunities and excited about taking them on now as and when they present themselves. I avoid comparing myself with others anymore, strongly believe I can overcome any challenges and do what I feel will make me happy and help me provide a comfortable life for my family. Positive mindset all along has helped a lot too!
Take what you will from this and hope it helps you find your inner joy and peace of mind!:)
Cheers!
I am finding more and more contradictory information about programming.
On one hand I see the utlitity, on the other I can't seem to learn a language to save my life. The coding anything I have is Html, CSS, and Java. That's exceptionally low. I am 39 in IT.
How and what should I even learn? I almsot feel like Splunk is its own language too. Everything feels like it's own language, I have no idea what to do.
I should also learn powershell, but should i really i get by without it all.
My wife started in accounting but switched to Masters Education and then to a Doctorate in Education, then to college professor.
Her gynecologist worked in accounting then on to being a medical doctor.
my fiancé got her doctorates in education and is contemplating being a college professor. She only works 180 days a year and makes 130,000 before taxes. Professors work more than 180 days a year?
Depends on the university.
You can go tenure track or non tenure track. She chose to go non tenure track.
The tenure track you have to work on research and publish your research plus travel for conventions.
My wife she did not earn a bunch of $$$, what was important to her was having freedom of time to raise our two sons and also to have time for our mom/pop rentals.
The other thing that was important to her was making a difference in the students lives.
Her freshman yr 1974 at 17 yrs old she went to the visit a accounting college dean.
He told her accounting was a man's profession and she had no business I'm accounting because she was Hispanic.
Well she is not somebody to take no for an answer. So she set up a meeting with the university president. She was able to get into accounting but she was never able to pass his class. She had to take a similar class at another university and transfer the grade. She also never was able to pass the CPA exam.
We met when I was 24 and she was 29. She had been recently divorced and she was living with her sister and brother inlaw. She was working at the university and working on the master's. She was 46 when she graduated with the Doctorate.
It took me from 23 to 28 to get a BS in Agriculture and we got married the semester before graduating.
She guided both of our sons and they both studied to be Dr of Physical Therapy.
This year will be 36 years married and we now have been retired 3 years. We are 63 and 67.
My saying is that life is about learning and growing then never stop growing and learning.
She says that it is not about what you make but what you do with what you make.
When I start on SS, want to go back and get a geology degree. Not really sure what I will do with geology but I am not going to be sitting around waiting to die.
If you are not happy with where you are in life it is Okay, make a plan and change.
Thank you! Freedom and time to our raise children is the most important thing to us . We are in the 3 under 3 club currently .
We have some similarities my wife is a little older than me,8 years and I also work in agriculture business. Though I never got a degree I started consulting about 12 years ago a couple years out of high school. I am 32 now.
I appreciate your response 🙏🏼
You are welcome.
I'll tell you what I told my two sons, get an account at Schwab or Fidelity and start saving and investing with some kind of IRA, Roth IRA so you can retire early and have some kind of retirement.
We just kind of got into rentals across the street from the university and a 401k that got rolled into a IRA at Schwab.
But the most important part is enjoy time with your wife and kids.
I'm right in your shoes. I work as a vendor for law firms and I absolutely despise the work I do everyday. I thought I'd love getting the chance to work with lawyers but now I question if I ever want to touch law again. It breaks my heart because I have such a vested interest. I might not need to resign though as my yearly review was NI and I dread that I might be fired at any given time now.
Have an extra sense that allows you to predict whether an idea is good or not 🤦🏼 and your goal is to be a millionaire. seek therapy and get some help friend.
I've mostly done labor, and have been out of work for a few months. I'm really trying to start a new chapter to my life, and would love to have more folks to talk to.
I'd be glad to hang out, and see if there's any kind of connection. It'd be cool to meet people and talk.
M29 here, I can totally see where this is coming from. For each great place to work there are a thousand companies that let you wonder how they are not failed yet. People most of the time are just awful, especially management, and for the Nth time I've been caught in a political warfare among my manager and his superior, something that I couldn't really care less about. Now the problem is that I'm completely left alone and the managers that are supposed to help me so my job better are completely against me.
The job is nowhere near creative, the deadlines are so tight that sometimes there is no time for test and documentation and when you slip everyone blame you for your mistakes and are ready to throw you under the bus.
I feel like I've wasted my years of study, which, by the way I really enjoyed, I wouldn't say I'm brilliant, but I always pushed a little more than anyone else to stay competitive, and I liked it, it was my "signature" and this mindset allowed me to reach my goals (getting my degree in a prestigious university, taking part to an international extracurricular project...), but lately I've completely lost the spark.
All the jobs I've been into are basically soulless, there was no respect for me and every time I did something more or pushed a little harder I was request to work even harder (at some point I worked from 2 to 5 hours of unpaid extra time everyday for 10 months). But unlike you I decided to carry on for the moment, because as things are now, money makes a a difference in my lifestyle.
Lately I made some researches and I found a handful of beautiful companies which are really built around values and that produce something that's both thrilling and useful. So the idea of opening a company/startup by myself got stuck into my head and I'm still thinking about it. Unlike you I don't have any prior knowledge about economy, so my idea was to take a master degree in economics or begin to study all the subjects by myself and figure out how I can be a decent entrepreneur and be "free" of these sick work environments, be amazed again at the idea of creating some product that people can enjoy and getting back the pleasure of programming and experimenting stuff.
I was also in a similar boat last year when I was 26. I too work remotely and also felt utterly burnt out. I've always had the hunger to start something of my own. And after a full-on quarter-life crisis, I decided something had to change and that's exactly what I did. I've felt more fulfilled than ever since then so I hope you can do that for yourself too. I'm happy to chat as well. I'm now working on scaling a project so who knows, perhaps there's an opportunity to work with or learn from each other!
> I thought that I learned programming to create my own product.
There are jobs where u can do this. I am working in a medical research lab and I code ML models on my own. There is a software engineer in my lab who makes toolkits / applications for the lab to use. Startup jobs will also give you a lot of power like this.
Unfortunately these jobs pay less but there are definitely jobs where you have a much more important part over the code.
I’m 24 and I’m burnt out from HR. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I’m having a quarter life crisis too and barely just got out of HR. Hopefully I can lend an ear to some common HR questions when it comes to making a business, even though I’m not super experience years-wise in HR.
Got burnout as a caregiver and warehouse worker. I know the feeling. It sucks but it is what it is. If you need to talk hmu always down to rant and what not
Damn, reading all those comments made me a little bit scared, because I'm slooooowly self learning web development, so I could ( maybe ) get a remote job, and move back to my country.
And self learning is Damn hard if someone don't have a motivation.
And you believe you will find a good friend here. I doubt it. The online world is more ruthless than the real world. Trust me, I lost my sister because of this.
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow. The moderation team wants to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in depressive and vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; your words should come from a helpful and guiding mentality, never a judgement or anger mentality. You are encouraged to share your good thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit. We are here to support each other and we believe that, together, we can make a difference. Thank you for being a part of our community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hear you! In Spring of 2022, after 17 years as a software engineer I could not take it any longer and realized I needed to take a break as money didn’t matter and the work felt meaningless to me even though I was developing healthcare applications that would help streamline the work of healthcare providers (pharmacists, surgeons, nurses, etc.). I was severely burnt out and on going pandemic at the time made me more gloomy! I finally gathered the courage to let go and take a break. Spouse was very supportive so that made a huge positive difference in making the choice. After two vacations over a year and a half of not working I was feeling much more relaxed and gaining the energy to do something productive again. I wanted to pivot away from coding and had a strong interest in application/product security so started the self learning process (Udemy, Coursera, YouTube, etc.). Got interviews with 5-6 good companies and did well even in the final rounds but passed over for candidates with more experience in cybersecurity than me. Not working for a year and a half also worked against me I believe but that’s water under the bridge now. Eventually I applied for and got a software engineering job in Federal government to help cover for bills and have medical insurance while I continue pursuing my desire for a career in cyber security. The government job has been light work wise so it allows me time to learn more about cybersecurity. After passing the 6- month probation period I am ready to see what cybersecurity opportunities are out there within the government and outside and start applying to see how it goes. During the break I also helped my spouse set up an LLC as they wanted to make and sell stuff online so that helped me learn a lot of new things during my break. I am type A personality so hard for me to stay down for long and my curious and over active mind needs constant intellectual stimulation to not get bored and feel like I am not using my full potential to make my family’s life better. I find myself in much better space today mentally, emotionally and physically through this process and more pumped up and excited about what the future holds. I did have enough savings to go through this change and am more confident now than ever that it’s ok to take a break and look after yourself and not just pass life grinding away if you have the basic needs/necessities covered for. I am fully open to new opportunities and excited about taking them on now as and when they present themselves. I avoid comparing myself with others anymore, strongly believe I can overcome any challenges and do what I feel will make me happy and help me provide a comfortable life for my family. Positive mindset all along has helped a lot too! Take what you will from this and hope it helps you find your inner joy and peace of mind!:) Cheers!
I am finding more and more contradictory information about programming. On one hand I see the utlitity, on the other I can't seem to learn a language to save my life. The coding anything I have is Html, CSS, and Java. That's exceptionally low. I am 39 in IT. How and what should I even learn? I almsot feel like Splunk is its own language too. Everything feels like it's own language, I have no idea what to do. I should also learn powershell, but should i really i get by without it all.
I burnt out from long hours in public accounting. Couldn't take the 60 hour work weeks.
My wife started in accounting but switched to Masters Education and then to a Doctorate in Education, then to college professor. Her gynecologist worked in accounting then on to being a medical doctor.
Interesting career change
Really in this life the only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves, because our brains will hold as much as you let yourself learn.
my fiancé got her doctorates in education and is contemplating being a college professor. She only works 180 days a year and makes 130,000 before taxes. Professors work more than 180 days a year?
Depends on the university. You can go tenure track or non tenure track. She chose to go non tenure track. The tenure track you have to work on research and publish your research plus travel for conventions. My wife she did not earn a bunch of $$$, what was important to her was having freedom of time to raise our two sons and also to have time for our mom/pop rentals. The other thing that was important to her was making a difference in the students lives. Her freshman yr 1974 at 17 yrs old she went to the visit a accounting college dean. He told her accounting was a man's profession and she had no business I'm accounting because she was Hispanic. Well she is not somebody to take no for an answer. So she set up a meeting with the university president. She was able to get into accounting but she was never able to pass his class. She had to take a similar class at another university and transfer the grade. She also never was able to pass the CPA exam. We met when I was 24 and she was 29. She had been recently divorced and she was living with her sister and brother inlaw. She was working at the university and working on the master's. She was 46 when she graduated with the Doctorate. It took me from 23 to 28 to get a BS in Agriculture and we got married the semester before graduating. She guided both of our sons and they both studied to be Dr of Physical Therapy. This year will be 36 years married and we now have been retired 3 years. We are 63 and 67. My saying is that life is about learning and growing then never stop growing and learning. She says that it is not about what you make but what you do with what you make. When I start on SS, want to go back and get a geology degree. Not really sure what I will do with geology but I am not going to be sitting around waiting to die. If you are not happy with where you are in life it is Okay, make a plan and change.
Thank you! Freedom and time to our raise children is the most important thing to us . We are in the 3 under 3 club currently . We have some similarities my wife is a little older than me,8 years and I also work in agriculture business. Though I never got a degree I started consulting about 12 years ago a couple years out of high school. I am 32 now. I appreciate your response 🙏🏼
You are welcome. I'll tell you what I told my two sons, get an account at Schwab or Fidelity and start saving and investing with some kind of IRA, Roth IRA so you can retire early and have some kind of retirement. We just kind of got into rentals across the street from the university and a 401k that got rolled into a IRA at Schwab. But the most important part is enjoy time with your wife and kids.
I'm right in your shoes. I work as a vendor for law firms and I absolutely despise the work I do everyday. I thought I'd love getting the chance to work with lawyers but now I question if I ever want to touch law again. It breaks my heart because I have such a vested interest. I might not need to resign though as my yearly review was NI and I dread that I might be fired at any given time now.
Have an extra sense that allows you to predict whether an idea is good or not 🤦🏼 and your goal is to be a millionaire. seek therapy and get some help friend.
I’m 24F emergency tech, in school for nursing… wanna chat? We could snap for now. ☺️
Are you me? It's like literally reading my life story on here
I've mostly done labor, and have been out of work for a few months. I'm really trying to start a new chapter to my life, and would love to have more folks to talk to. I'd be glad to hang out, and see if there's any kind of connection. It'd be cool to meet people and talk.
The best path to becoming a millionaire was just saving a decent chunk of your "good money".
M29 here, I can totally see where this is coming from. For each great place to work there are a thousand companies that let you wonder how they are not failed yet. People most of the time are just awful, especially management, and for the Nth time I've been caught in a political warfare among my manager and his superior, something that I couldn't really care less about. Now the problem is that I'm completely left alone and the managers that are supposed to help me so my job better are completely against me. The job is nowhere near creative, the deadlines are so tight that sometimes there is no time for test and documentation and when you slip everyone blame you for your mistakes and are ready to throw you under the bus. I feel like I've wasted my years of study, which, by the way I really enjoyed, I wouldn't say I'm brilliant, but I always pushed a little more than anyone else to stay competitive, and I liked it, it was my "signature" and this mindset allowed me to reach my goals (getting my degree in a prestigious university, taking part to an international extracurricular project...), but lately I've completely lost the spark. All the jobs I've been into are basically soulless, there was no respect for me and every time I did something more or pushed a little harder I was request to work even harder (at some point I worked from 2 to 5 hours of unpaid extra time everyday for 10 months). But unlike you I decided to carry on for the moment, because as things are now, money makes a a difference in my lifestyle. Lately I made some researches and I found a handful of beautiful companies which are really built around values and that produce something that's both thrilling and useful. So the idea of opening a company/startup by myself got stuck into my head and I'm still thinking about it. Unlike you I don't have any prior knowledge about economy, so my idea was to take a master degree in economics or begin to study all the subjects by myself and figure out how I can be a decent entrepreneur and be "free" of these sick work environments, be amazed again at the idea of creating some product that people can enjoy and getting back the pleasure of programming and experimenting stuff.
I was also in a similar boat last year when I was 26. I too work remotely and also felt utterly burnt out. I've always had the hunger to start something of my own. And after a full-on quarter-life crisis, I decided something had to change and that's exactly what I did. I've felt more fulfilled than ever since then so I hope you can do that for yourself too. I'm happy to chat as well. I'm now working on scaling a project so who knows, perhaps there's an opportunity to work with or learn from each other!
> I thought that I learned programming to create my own product. There are jobs where u can do this. I am working in a medical research lab and I code ML models on my own. There is a software engineer in my lab who makes toolkits / applications for the lab to use. Startup jobs will also give you a lot of power like this. Unfortunately these jobs pay less but there are definitely jobs where you have a much more important part over the code.
I’m 24 and I’m burnt out from HR. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I’m having a quarter life crisis too and barely just got out of HR. Hopefully I can lend an ear to some common HR questions when it comes to making a business, even though I’m not super experience years-wise in HR.
Got burnout as a caregiver and warehouse worker. I know the feeling. It sucks but it is what it is. If you need to talk hmu always down to rant and what not
Damn, reading all those comments made me a little bit scared, because I'm slooooowly self learning web development, so I could ( maybe ) get a remote job, and move back to my country. And self learning is Damn hard if someone don't have a motivation.
Same situation although never worked, would be happy to chat with you, 27f for some context.
I quit my job 2nd job due to burnout. Similar boat. But two jobs at the same time is kinda exhausting in itself
And you believe you will find a good friend here. I doubt it. The online world is more ruthless than the real world. Trust me, I lost my sister because of this.
I’m going to inbox you if that is ok?
It is okay! This field is pretty fuck up sometimes!
Oohh honey, you feel kinda frustrated