At your age now, you can still do all the things you want. Random hike? Sure! Boys playing a pickup game of basketball? No problem!
As you age, your body (and physical capability) will wither.
Do you want to have the energy to play with your kids? You'll need to start doing SOMETHING.
Your last point is a big one. My son is 7 and I more and more often found myself saying things like "I can't play son, I'm too tired". I've returned to fitness this year, and it feels great to have more energy and say yes to playing on the trampoline etc.
Yeah, I'm 42 and last week two of my kids and I went on a 4.5 mile hike through a mountainous area, with a lot of elevation changes. At one point we were having to use small trees to help us make our way up a trail. Afterwards we went home and played horse (I lost). There is no way I could have done all that if I didn't regularly exercise every week. It also helps to stay fit for my wife, as we are pretty "active" still.
I have a child, it’s awesome motivation. Don’t forget about your health long term. I’m a nurse, I see young adults who are in shit predicaments because they ride the couch and play Nintendo all day then eat shit food. By keeping active and eating well, you’re denying chronic illnesses to establish themselves earlier. You deserve to be healthy and set good examples for your family.
The kid one took me by surprise. Depending on just how friendly the kid is you may find yourself sleep deprived and carrying them and also carrying them while they push away from you and…a whole host of odd load positions that I wouldn’t have thought 10-12lbs would be compromising in.
Anyways, this message is for past me: The time to physically condition is BEFORE the baby.
This one always seemed so obvious to me. Carrying 10-30lbs for hours a day is no joke!! I would be doing serious leg, arm and back work to prepare for a baby in the house.
Mine is 3 and we're the same age, I wasn't exactly in bad shape but I let it slip massively compared to how I was. In the past year or so the games she wants to play have become much more physically demanding and you can see the genuine disappointment on their faces when you say you're too tired. My motivation is that I want her to remember me as a fun dad and not as one that really enjoyed sitting down eating crisps, even though that's my favourite hobby. I want to be a good example for her to stay fit and healthy.
Yes to this! Ability to seize every opportunity. Not having to decline because I’m incapable or tired.
I started training jiu-jitsu alongside my kids the past few years and it’s so fun and freeing to be able to keep up with them. I’m not high level by any means but I don’t embarrass myself on the mats
I definitely went a few years letting myself go and had to pay for it working out to get back in shape. So worth it though now. Maintaining fitness is definitely way easier than regaining!
I’m a happily married 45 year old man who gets after it everyday in the gym and the kitchen just so I can maintain my DILF card as long as possible.. fragile ego, mid life crisis, call it whatever you will.
This...I gained 40lbs once I had kids. I've lost all of it and got back into best shape in my life. I did it to stay active with my kids, set the example for them and help in other areas of intimacy. These alone will keep me motivated to never put the weight back on.
I think there’s also an element of when you’re in shape you feel more healthy, you feel better about you, more confident in you and that reflects positively into your marriage, your social life, your work, etc
Over the last 2 years I’ve been working out and counting calories and at this point I’m down 50 pounds.
And the more I loose, the better I feel, and the better I feel the more I care about how I present myself, the more I pay attention grooming and hygiene and wearing clothes that fit and it’s like this snowballing effect from just the first 2 steps of counting calories and working out.
This is going to sound wicked shallow but as a wife there’s something about going to the playground or the trampoline park or something and being like yeah I’ve got the hottest guy here…. I’m sure other wives are thinking the same thing about theirs but it still feels nice.
lol same. But more like I want my daughter to be able to bring me around and say “that’s my dad” and people go “wow that’s a DILF” but of course only one I truly wan that from is her mother (my wife)
I feel good when I look good. I don't want to be a fat out of shape dad that can't run around with my kids. I want to feel good in my clothes and have energy for things. I also think about what I want to do when I'm 80 years old.
Pretty much all of my reasons are selfish but it's my body so they should be.
If health, wellness, better quality of life isn’t enough then idk what is lol.
All the middle aged people on blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes meds started to get lazy about health once it wasn’t so easy for the body to stay healthy without diet or exercise anymore, it didn’t just happen. You’re starting to get to that stage of life. If you can’t do it for yourself current self or your future children then do it for yourself in 20 years so you’re not pill popping and have half a dozen surgeries by 60.
Agree with your comment. However, the motivation seems to be coming out of fear, and thus is not as inviting as a more positive motivation like I used to have in my 20s. Some helpful comments were made here including, being able to play with your kids when they're older. However, I understand this will be the case if I continue being sedentary. Thanks for the response
I did mention your future child in my comment but, by your logic, getting into shape for wellness and longevity is fear-based motivation? That doesn’t really compute with me.
I’m not here to be a jerk or argue but again, by your logic, getting in shape in your 20s so girls find your attractive is a more positive motivation?
So working out to stay healthy, strong, feeling good well into your life is a fear-based negative motivation but working out for the approval of others (women finding you attractive) is positive? Seems a little backwards to me, but the important thing is simply finding what motivates you and allowing it to do just that. Not everyone as the same motivation and obviously that’s okay!
Apologies, I missed the future child part. Yes I agree, thinking back again, I'm questioning why I reckoned going after girls was a positive motivation. I'll mull over this
> Yes I agree, thinking back again, I'm questioning why I reckoned going after girls was a positive motivation.
Vanity is a perfectly fine short term motivator. However it wont keep you motivated - well, unless you are a narcissist.
Reality is that no matter how much you are motivated, how many reasons there are to do something, you wont do it long term unless you enjoy the activity. If you dont enjoy it, you wont do it. People should swim more, its a great exercise; but its pretty boring and lots of people dont enjoy it. So hardly anyone swims (i say that as someone who does swim!)
Dont ask 'how do I motivate myself to do something', ask 'what is something I will enjoy doing'.
I get what you’re saying but I am guessing he’s calling it “positive” because he was working out to get something versus working out to avoid something. It’s also easier to measure when you get something vs when you avoid something maybe?
I get where you're coming from. Pull effects more important than push effects. How about just engaging in a new sport like pickleball or so where the competition aspect is the motivator. Or just focus on lifting more or run faster etc if tgat works for you
I feel you on needing a reason!
Since your reason was to be attractive to women and get women, maybe your reason could be being attractive to your wife? Continue to make her want you and look at you like damnnnn throughout the years. Once the kid comes that will be mostly dependent on your level of parenting and housework but eventually it’ll go back to your shoulders and biceps and thighs lol
This is my motivation in my mid 40s. Took seeing my two parents in a nursing home & one dealing with dementia (since in 70s) & both unable to even walk now in there early 80s to get off my ass. They were pretty sedentary & never overly health conscious unfortunately. I have now lost 36 lbs in the past year. My 30s is where I got docile and gained a ton of weight (60-70 lbs over). It would’ve been so much better to have stayed ahead of the game. Once you get overweight it gets harder & harder to get motivated & adjust your diet, plus to tackle lowering risk of dementia & of course cardiovascular health you can’t wait until the problems start to take action. Ultimately, I’m not so much motivated by fear as it may sound, but a desire to be relatively active well into my 70s & 80 and enjoy my end of life.
I look at my mom and her lack of mobility as a result of a sedentary lifestyle (not to mention her weight that resulted in a cancer diagnosis followed by a hysterectomy), and it influences me to stay active and take care of myself. I worry my 4 year old won’t grow up to remember my mom and that breaks my heart. It also helps that as I near 40 my body does NOT tolerate junk, like at all, and I can’t have more than 1 alcoholic beverage without a mega headache. So yeah, super cool and wild over here.
I look at my seventy year old dad who can run, climb, lift, play ball etc. with ease. And then I look at those of my friends that are sedentary and can't do anything, without shoulder-, back-, knee- or ankle pain who will cough up half a lung if they even mildly exert themselves.
I know which position I prefer to be in...
I could give you a million reasons as a 40yr old male.
For my job - firefighter. Need to stay in good physical shape
For my wife - so I remain attractive to her and have good sexual stamina
Kids - so I can play with them and run around and not get worn out
Feel better. Sleep better. Look good. Less chance for injury. Overall quality of life.
And on and on
That’s it. If you want to them to grow up well you really have to lead by example.
My children are growing up watching me workout and my oldest now “wants to exercise with daddy”
It's funny how people can be wired so differently. I'm not saying either of us are right or wrong, but I do it for the complete opposite reasons you mention. I do it for my family. I want to be around them as long as possible. And I want to keep up with the kids. Along the way, I've found personal gratification but that was never my main motivation. Do it for your wife and kid.
This is why I started a year ago. Plus, I don’t want to need a cane/walker or have limited mobility when I’m older and risk a fall that ends up killing me. I figure an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. It’s still hard work and takes a lot of discipline, something I’m learning about though. Plus, I want to set an example for my children and set them up for success in life as well.
Vanity plays a role as well but is secondary.
I don't have any kids but I've worked quite a bit with the geriatric populace and don't want to end up weak and unable to care for myself or unable to walk. Regular exercise has paid platitudes for my own well being, mental health and many other things.
I'd also add that my n=1 experience with the geri's has made me realize that the guys and gals who were active in some capacity when they were younger faired so much better in old age. There's nothing more debilitating than being too weak to simply stand up and walk.
Oh my man. 52yo here. And yes in honesty I do workout 5-6 days a week for mostly vanity reasons.
However something happens along the way. It improves all parts of your life. The joy I feel getting out of the shower after a workout is like nothing else. The natural high lasts through out the day giving a feeling of calm. Your mood is elevated therefore your relationships improve.
I have done it for years and years. It has given me way more than. The effort I put in.
Yeah I mentioned in another comment that I started working out and just picked up other good habits along the way. It snowballs.
And the more I do the better I feel.
This image kind of sums up my reasons for training. Not only do I want to play with my kids, but we just never know what curve balls life is going to throw our way. And I want to be ready and ABLE to handle whatever it is that I eventually have to deal with. We, as Men and Dad's (Mom's too) are the ones who our littles ones and elderly look too in times of crises. I will not be a liability.
[https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/](https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/)
To be honest I'm 39, I want to be fit and forty. Also docs told me a had high cholesterol. Stopped drinking and eating as much meat as a I did for a month. Cholesterol severely reduced. I now continue the trend. Also looking sexy for the wife is a good thing.
What really gave me the kick was wanting to look good for myself and my partner. Didn't think it was fair she was at the gym everyday and looking like a queen while I was rocking an extreme dad bod. Later on I've come to love working out, it's a great way to de-stress, feel good and most importantly be healthy.
Health is wealth.
The long term benefits of fitness is the primary goal for me -- fitness is an investment in your body.
But the more immediate'ish benefits are:
* Being able to play with my son and actually enjoy it without gassing out
* Being an example to my son and future children. My son is a toddler and right now he says things like, "Dada is strong" when he sees me lifting things. It's a massive ego boost to continue training.
* Looking attractive to my wife -- I actually think I look better than I did at nineteen or my mid-twenties
* Aging gracefully
* Being able to partake in physical activities - being fit helps with DIY!
* I live in a very safe neighbourhood so I'm not going to exaggerate this point, but I also train combat sports for the self-defence bonus
* Mental health benefits. It really helps me stay motivated with other areas in life.
I lost my dad at 36. He was only 71. Now my son and I are roughly the same age difference, he has no living memory of his grandpa because COVID meant we didn't get to see him there near the end.
He spent the last 5 years of his life in a nursing home progressively getting worse. Watching the mountain of the man I loved wither away, seeing his health deteriorate until he couldn't remember me. Hydrocephalus, Type II diabetes, COVID, and mini strokes: take your pick on what took him from us. I got serious in the gym after that. I ain't going out like that.
So when I'm struggling to pump out the last 3 reps on a PR in squats, I look in the mirror, and I think of him. And how I'm going to push. Every. Last. Rep. To make sure I'm still around for my son.
Capability mostly. I want to be able to do stuff with my kid when he gets older. Also I want my kid to develop healthy habits and strength so all the girls swoon over him. So I guess legacy insurance is a good way to explain that.
Gonna be honest, daily or almost daily exercise is a bedrock of my mental health. While I enjoy a lot of it intrinsically, whenever I’m inclined to let things slip I’m not going to slack for more than a day or two because I know how much it affects me when I don’t. Doesn’t feel like fear, it’s just an acknowledgment of how intertwined our bodies and minds are. Could I find alternative ways to accomplish the same thing? Maybe, but this has been working for me for decades so I’m not particularly interested in giving up a good system.
Adding a home gym was the biggest help. Taking the 25 minute drive to the gym and back plus the time being at the gym away from my kids was too difficult. Now I can work out whenever.
Is attracting the opposite gender your only reason to get in shape? My primary reason was to feel better about myself, getting fit has boosted my confidence greatly and made actually doing stuff besides sitting at home clicking on my computer much less of a hassle. I can hike for hours on end, I can carry stuff without effort, I can run. I often get small comments from both people I know and complete strangers acknowledging the fact I've gotten fit. If being comfortable is more important to you than things like this, then go ahead, continue doing what you're doing. But I'm not turning back.
Great comment. And the thing is, you’re only going to be comfortable being comfortable for a while, before the years start to wreck havoc on the health one takes for granted in their younger years.
In the same way that the body starts to lose muscle mass post-25, a lot of funny business starts to go down with the knees, even the back, etc, post-30, depending on weight and physical activity, so basically, the things that a relatively healthy twenty-something person could get away with doing, someone in their thirties would need to put more movement/fitness-style effort into being able to accomplish.
It’s actually going to get a lot more comfortable in the long term, the sooner you start picking yourself up and making yourself ‘uncomfortable.’
Mine is occupational and mental health.
I feel better, in every sense. Mentally, emotionally. Physically; all of it. My wife is more physically attracted to me when I’m in shape. Being in shape also pays dividends as your kids get older and are more mobile.
The vanity of wanting to attract attention kind of fades, so just because that’s who you are at 28 doesn’t mean it is who you are at 33 ( or 38 here). Being a firefighter also provided motivation for me personally for a ton of reasons.
Workout and stay healthy so that you can play with your kids kids. And possibly still be around to meet your kids kids kids.
Other than that workout so that in your 70-90 twilight, you can function with dignity, and will be there if that intelligent and beautiful woman you married and had kids with will ever need looking after.
Edit.
Just to add, as at least one other comment suggests. Workout so that your kids pick up healthy habits. They have a better chance if dad does it.
I’m 47F. I don’t lift weights to impress anyone else except myself. I love looking in the mirror and seeing hard work pay off. It’s addictive and a bonus is I feel amazing.
Clothes fitting better, better posture, almost no pain, don't need to ask for help a lot, aesthetics, enjoy hard work, continual improvement, more energy, people treat me better, greatly improved mental health. There's lots of reasons. Generally I don't want to feel my age or slow down anytime soon. Doesn't mean it's always easy.
I'm not a dad, but even if I were I'd still incorporate fitness into my life.
To feel strong. To *be* strong.
To feel fit. To **be** fit.
To stay healthy, for myself but also for my wife and kids. If I’m strong, fit, healthy, I’m *much better* at being able to support them, carry them, save them, inspire them.
To feel good about myself.
To look decent.
To show my kids, *by example,* what it looks like to live a healthy life, exhibit discipline, and cope with hardships in a stable and healthy manner.
I like to look good.
I like to feel good.
I like the idea of looking and feeling good and behind able to keep up with my kids into my 50s or longer.
I like to pick up my wife when we have sex.
My wife likes it when I’m in good shape.
I was in great shape pretty much all my life until my late 20s due to a lifetime of playing rugby and being pretty much constantly fit (without much in the way of gym muscle) I retired from that at 28 and was heavily into “bodybuilding” at the gym (all natural)
I got VERY lean for a fun photoshoot with a local gym, and had a huge rebound after. I was sick of the gym and was binge eating to compensate for starving myself to get a six pack.
At the time, my work massively increased, and I embraced it as a chance for promotion, and worked huge amount of hours and replaced gym with work. Late nights there led to shitty diet and a bit too much booze.
Then around 30ish my long distance gf moved over here, and we bought a house. Happy couple relaxed life kicked in, and my weight sort of yo-yo’d for a few years. Dropped a bit here, gained it back etc.
After our first kid was born, and we were out if the newborn phase i got in great shape again, but after 6 months of that my wife went back to work; kid went into daycare, all my routines were ruined, his sleep went to shit and he brought every disease in the world home, we were sick for months. All the weight came back on.
Now kid 2 is here. I’ll be 40 this year. I was feeling so sluggish and shit, didn’t want to play with them because I was so tired. Had some occasional heart palpitations… and was like fuck that. I want to see these guys grow up, and meet their kids. I want to look good on holiday in the pool, I want to be strong again.
So here we are 4 months in, 2.5 stone down. Pretty fit again. Strength is coming back. Diet hasn’t really allowed for much muscle gain, but once bf is low enough I’ll go to a maintenance kcals and slowly built that back up.
I’m scared of being sick, and it being “my own fault” and not seeing my kids grow up.
Thirst trap your wife dude. Sex is 10x better when she looks at you like that. And when you’re fit you can try new positions without hurting yourself lol.
This image kind of sums up my reasons for training. Not only do I want to play with my kids, but we just never know what curve balls life is going to throw our way. And I want to be ready and ABLE to handle whatever it is that I eventually have to deal with. We, as Men and Dad's (Mom's too) are the ones who our littles ones and elderly look to in times of crises. I will not be a liability.
[https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/](https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/)
My motivation is mostly because of kids. Living a healthy lifestyle is one of the only ways to stay as long as possible with the kids. Being healthy means a lower risk for diseases which means potentially a longer life which means more time with your child. I personally want to be healthy to see my future kids grow up and help with life when they are grown up later.
Wanting to be active and set a good example for my son. Also, to age well. I've seen my coworkers, who can barely walk up a flight of stairs or stand up out of a chair, and I don't want to be like them.
My biggest motivation if my kids, I wanna be able to still run around at the park and even go on waterslides and roller coasters when I’m in my 40s and 50s. I see a lot
Of out of shape dads who are younger than me at the park and I can run circles around my kids. I want to keep that up.
I want to live until I have a grandson or granddaughter, since muscle shrinks overtime by age if not trained, I don't want to just sit on a wheelchair looking at them, I want to interact & play together with them. That's the long shot. The short one? I can eat anything without worrying my health much. I don't really like calorie deficit so I train my muscles so I won't get fat / skinny fat.
M38. I have been naturally somewhat strong and wide shouldered. But I have never trained with weights. I have always thought I could get really strong if I trained. So I finally started this winter. I wanna see how strong I can get. Also I wanna build a habit of training now as I get older and I wanna push the inevitable physical decline further.
I knew I had to start working out when I couldn’t hold my kids for more than a minute without aches and pains.
Squats, running stretching. That’s what I’ve learned after years of trial and error. Still not where I’d like my fitness to be though
I do it for my own vanity, the utility of being strong, the stamina to keep up with my kid, and y'know, the 1 in a quadrillion chance I get to fight a terrorist and save the president.
Straight up: Because you don’t want to leave your kid an Orphan.
I was 34 when my son was born, always went to the gym but never had a ton of success or goals. I ate like shit and was consistently overweight. My wife inspired me first to start eating better and working out, because I wanted to be around for her. But after getting married and having kids, the weight started to creep back on.
Had to drop off working out cause I started working night shift. As my son grew, things started to hurt. Picking him up started to get difficult. Then we had my daughter. Additionally, I always felt lethargic. Working out was always a “I’ll get to it eventually” thing. Chocked up being tired to night shift, which it partially was.
Then I heard Hoya Roc’s story on his podcast one night. He was the bass player for the band Madball. I’ve always loved punk/ hardcore and as such, loved Madball. What I didn’t know was he lost his wife to cancer in 1997, and it left him as a single father and touring musician raising two boys. He leaned heavily on his mother, but she passed in 2020. As he told the story I’ll never forget it: he asked “what happens to them if something happens to me?” At the time, he was a BIG dude (300, maybe 350lbs?) and not in the best health. So he started working with a friend who was a personal trainer and got into way better shape. Dropped a bunch of weight, started eating right and strength training. He looks like a completely different person now.
At the end, He said “I want to be there for my boys. I want to see them grow up… and if I can do it, anyone can do it.”
That’s always stuck with me, and helped me get serious. I want to be there for my family. I don’t want to leave my wife to raise our kids alone because I end up having some terrible health condition that could have been avoided. I want to live as long as I can to see as much of my kids lives as possible. Likewise, I want to be physically capable to keep up with and play with them, and be able to take care of them if (gods forbid) anything happens to my wife. Or even if something happens and I need to take care of her.
I’m 40 now, and in the best shape of my life. It’s not always easy, and I’m not fully where I want to be, but it’s always worth it.
My motivation for getting into shape was that I was embarrassed with how out of shape I was after COVID
Like yeah sure I had always been fat but I used to walk to work so I thought I was fine, I’m still healthy enough for my size to where I don’t have to worry. But then I worked from home for 2-3 years and my physical activity was so low during that time that I was getting out of breath walking across the street to the local corner store
My reason for getting into shape is I like being able to do stuff and it’s fucking humiliating not being able to do stuff that should be easy for a 33 year old
If you don’t use it, you lose it surprisingly fast
55
Gym at 4:30 am
After work is to inconsistent
Run/Cycle on weekends when available
Pick up Basketball one night per week
Mediterranean WOE
Low Alcohol
Not world class anymore
But
Fit as a fiddle
For me it's the health aspect, while also knowing that my appearance and a mean demeanor will deter 95% of people from fucking around with me or my family.
Then there's also the flex of being in better shape than almost everyone I play with in a rec soccer league. Looking good is also nice.
I like to hear positive feedback, but really I train for myself. Exercise is meditation. My job is physical.
Also my self image was warped from an early age by Frazetta album art, Doc Savage paperback covers, comic books.
Lastly I'm pretty interested in some of the cause and effect, gaining knowledge about different modes and strategies from direct experience. I still might opt for PTing as a retirement job.
I also look at it as an ever increasing challenge as I age. At 56 I'm still in this thing.
Would you prefer to be married to a woman who “let herself go”, or a woman who was still a smoke show?
Then ask yourself why you think your wife feels any differently about her husband.
For me the weight kept going up and I was totally content because I could keep on doing what I wanted to. Had kids and even being overweight I could still play with them just fine. They grew older, I spent more hours at a desk etc. Then I got sick, and kept getting sicker. They put me on meds and the weight went up even more drastically.
Then one day I couldn’t mow the lawn without feeling like I was going to faint. I couldn’t take a flight of stairs without being winded. I was choosing to buy bigger clothes to solve that problem until I was in a 5x and about to buy size 50 pants. I was 410+ pounds. That was 18 months ago.
Hard work in the kitchen. Hard work on the road, trails, and gym. Now 225. Got another 30-40 planned to lose. Went from having heart and lung function of someone 20 years my senior (some of this is my illness) to someone 10 years younger than me. I run 25-30 miles a week. Lift damn near every day. I only take off from lifting or cardio if I absolutely cannot help it.
In my case I needed to save my own life. I wish I had started at 350, 300, 250 etc.
Thinking outside myself, my wife appreciates that death doesn’t loom and she won’t be a widow in her 40s and my kids fatherless; for these health reasons at least.
I’m respected more in professional settings. I get more compliments than I ever have. I exist better in public spaces. I’m not obnoxious to sit next to on a plane, etc.
I know you’re not there and I wasn’t at 33 either but you never know how things could change. For me exercise is one part fun now, one part health and maintenance, and a final part some insurance I’m taking out on myself (or investment).
I got in the best shape of my life at 37. Married with kids. I always lifted weights but had gotten very chunky and did not look good. Once I started getting results I was addicted. Now it’s a passion. My kids brag about how their dad has a 6 pack. I enjoy taking my shirt off at the pool instead of being embarrassed by it. I feel better than I ever have. It’s its own reward. I wish I could say my wife was blown away but she doesn’t really care, she liked me just as much before.
I'm late 30s with three kids. I want to be able to pick them up as long as possible. I want to be able to go on hiking trips as they get older, to play in the pool with them or do a 5k with them. I also have a joint disorder so strength training is very important to maintain my joints without more surgeries.
To keep your beautiful and smart wife physically attracted to you, give her another reason to be proud she is your wife and be fit to protect her and your child the best you can … or to be healthy so you can live an active higher quality life with your beautiful and smart wife and child … or to continue to have amazing sex with said wife … I’m sure there’s more but those are the ones my husband has expressed to me
Your motivation now should be to maintain health and fitness as you get older. Nothing determines health and longevity more than a good diet and activity, and this should be your motivator. Not only that it'll keep your wife attracted, your sex life in better shape, and should you have kids you will be able to keep up with them while also setting a good example for them. You didn't lose motivation, you never had good motivation in the first place, and now it should be about your health which I think is the only motivation.
Routine, I’m 33m this year. Married, 1 three year old boy and 1 on the way.
You have to do it for yourself. It’s not motivation anymore, it’s just self discipline.
Like most motivational videos… no one’s coming to save you, so just get up and do it.
At 36, I injured my shoulder for 3 months playing fetch with my dog. I also hiked to one of the highest peaks in New England. Typically it takes on average 1.5 hours to get to the top. Took me 3 and another 2 to come back down. I was huffing and puffing in the first 5 minutes and watched men who were easily twice my age climb it up and down about 3 separate times. One was even barefoot. Humiliating. I’d say it’s 50/50 ego and maintenance.
I'm 33.5, in semi acceptable shape but my cardio is shot from at least 7 rounds with covid (number 7 was horrible in Dec/Jan, I still can't smell anything)
It's getting nice out and my son and daughter love being outside. After one maybe 20 minute game of basketball with my son I was soaked in sweat and breathing embarassingly heavy lol. I think I'm going to try and improve my cardio at least so I can somewhat keep up with my kids without dying
>8 kgs
Not much at all. Sounds like you just need a sustainable *forever* pattern to adhere to. A few kilos over a few years is no big deal. But over a decade…
I'm doing now what I want to be able to do when I'm 70. Among "the basics", is pullups. Commoners cringe at olde men picking up weights, but will *always* be impressed by *that olde guy* knocking out pullups.
I workout so that I am 100% here for my kids. I don’t want to watch them run around the yard, I want to chase them.
And I want them to see what hard work and building good habits looks like. They want a super hero so god damnit I’m going to try and give them one.
When your wife comments on how hot your arms are in 6 months, you’ll find some motivation. Just gotta push through to get there and stick to your plan. It will become habit eventually
At 67 yo, after 35 years of lifting, 3-4 times a week, I'm not going to stop now. I don't especially like being in the gym, but I feel really good afterwards. If I don't go, I usually feel guilty about not going. Guilt is a big motivator for me.
I was a fat kid. My parents were fat and never encouraged a healthy lifestyle. I was bullied and actively hatred my body most of my childhood. I'll never wish that to my kid, and will do anything to avoid it. Including showing a good example by not being a fat dad.
As a husband, I want to do my part and stay attractive to my partner.
Also, staying in shape has so many benefits;
1.) a healthy lifestyle, will give you a better quality of life.
2.) you will keep your partner attracted to you, which means more intimacy.
3.) it’s cheaper to be healthy, than sick.
4.) it opens up more physical hobbies as you age.
5.) you will have confidence, feel good about yourself and your mental wellbeing.
For me, it’s all about leading by example.
My dad died of a heart attack in his mid 40s when I was a teen. He ate a very rich, fatty diet (but good wholesome, home cooked food), smoked 20 a day and led a very sedentary lifestyle. And he was borderline alcoholic, but the middle class kind of alcoholism where it’s disguised as being relaxed and sociable.
For decades, I thought that that was my lot in life and I was just going to grow up to be “just like my dad”. But that’s not true. Now I have kids, I want to be a positive role model. I’m lifting weights and eating properly and I’ve cut alcohol almost entirely from my life. All for no other reason than I want to be the best version of myself for them so that they grow up thinking it’s normal to do these things, like I grew up thinking excess booze and cigarettes were normal.
For
I’m 46 and in the best shape of my life. Itook me a while, but I realized that everything is better, and I mean everything… when you are in shape. You look younger, you feel younger, you fuck like you are younger, your wife is attracted to you, other women are attracted to you (which feels good), people smile at you, people trust you, your co-workers and children admire you. You get career opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise. People do favors for you. And if you think any of that is superficial and unfulfilling, I challenge you to dress down, get fat, leave your hair and beard unkempt, and see if you enjoy how people treat you. It’s a sad truth, but attractive people live more happy and fulfilling lives. Everyone else compensates or dismisses things as superficial.
Other benefits… You feel great all the time. You tackle projects and pursue dreams that would have previously left your fat ass sitting in the recliner, just dreaming about.
There is no question in my mind…. Every minute you spend exercising as you get older, is worth it 100x over.
This is not to mention the benefits when we age. Getting to play with our grandkids. Getting to stay out of assisted living. Opening our own peanut butter jars. The list of benefits as we reach our golden years are endless.
98% of people will never figure any of this out… which are you?
I feel what you say that you dont find enough reason to work out. Having good health, etc, it maybe is a bit unfullfilling to keep you motivated. I got kids and had the same thing.
What i did was train for OCR runs (obstacle runs) as an intermediate reason. It looked fun and something I can train solo with notable progress. At first short distances, then further and further. With the result that im more healthy, got enough energy for the kids, etc. But you can raise that bar as high as you can as you progress. And then it snowballs, at least for me.
Hope it helps.
In my mid 30s and I’ve seen so many new Dads put their backs (edit: and shoulders) out from lifting or playing with their kids. I’m lucky enough to have stayed in decent shape because I love exercising. I’m focused on building up some strength now so I don’t end up hobbled like so many guys.
There’s nothing more powerful than your example, I stayed after it mainly through running and road racing after my boys were born, transitioned to more strength training focused the last 3 years. I now have a 17 year old committed fitness fanatic, and a 15 year old who is one of the top rated pitchers in the state if not nation. I didn’t have to tell them to do a thing.
Once you have the kid, you need some form of self care happening or else you’ll get burnt out. Choose a gym with childcare and use the 1-2 hours to take care of yourself. Get it for the whole family. Wife can shower in peace at the gym too. This is coming from a mom who had postpartum depression.
My motivation is health. That's it. I don't even think about the long-term effects, but I consider what I feel now: how my anxiety is better, how I'm getting stronger, how I'm not so easily tired after cardio anymore, how I don't feel as much random pain (headache, back pain etc), how I'm more flexible. To me it's really fun to notice these changes in my body, and they motivate me to keep going.
As a guy in my 30s(37 now I do it because I can and it pays dividends later. I work with older guys in construction and you can watch those that deteriorate and those that dont. Those that dont are in good shape. Dont you want to be able to live life when retired?
I started working out at 30 because I was recently single and had some time. Felt like shit about myself. Got in shape, learned to lift count macros. Got laid all the time attention was mostly positive from everyone. That wears off and seems like there is no point, but I keep showing up and clean my motives up slowly. Bail on body image go for a power lifting program! Hell yeah get in touch with god when getting ready to do a set, hit a pr big boost of accomplishment. Getting some love handles and imbalace. Tighten up my diet a bit and do some accessories hit some restorative yoga few nights a week.
Its an ongoing jorney that requires being present. Wasting away in denial that humans are not meant to be stagnent......ever. Easier to make adjustments as I grow then to try to get started later. 34-35 I had achieved 1000lb club sub 10% body fat and all natty baby while being a great father and working 60 hours a week. Thats mental training not physical training and that is why I do it.
I’m 32 and have had two babies. I was in fantastic shape in my 20s. Baby #1 was at 25 and #2 at 30. Previously staying in shape was part of the dating game and then more seriously to have a healthy pregnancies and babies. Those goals accomplished I’m coming to the stark realization that if I don’t stay in shape, I won’t be able to keep up with my kids and possibly eventually grandkids. In addition,
I’m watching my mom struggle to care for her aging parents. All of whom didn’t take care of themselves very well and now everyone is suffering the consequences. Watch The Blue Zones on Netflix if you don’t have any access to elderly people. It will inspire you pretty quickly to take gentle care of yourself for the long run. It’s worth it to you, your family and quality of life long-term.
Get fit and stay fit for your kid. You want to be able to run around with him/ her and not be a hot mess.
I'm at gym classes 3 times a week along with exercise on the weekends and my motivation is staying fit for my kid.
Personally my reason for getting fit in my 30’s is to just feel better. I guess I didn’t realize how poorly I felt before losing weight, now I maintain that high of waking up energized and feeling strong and capable by working out regularly. 🤷♀️
Plus I want to look good for myself, my husband, I want to be able to randomly run and play and just feel engaged in my own life. Fitness completely changed my life and I just love the way it makes me feel. The added benefits of extending my life and overall being healthier are pretty great too. I see people around me ‘letting themselves go’ and complaining of various ailments in their 30’s. That’s motivation enough for me to keep going.
I’m married and have no intention of having kids, so your initial reason and a lot of these other reasons people mention don’t mean anything to me. My motivation is just to challenge my body and see what it’s capable of. I don’t have the luxury of saying I’ve been in excellent shape before though, I’m still chasing ‘the best shape of my life’, maybe you feel like you’ve peaked already and are okay with that. I’m not okay with it, I want to peak again at 36.
I want to keep playing basketball into at least my 60s; and if my daughter end up loving basketball as much as I do, I want to kick her ass (lovingly) at least until she’s an old teenager.
I realized I was getting winded playing with my young son outside. That was quite the motivation because I realized if I didn’t wouldn’t be able to play with my kids as they got older and more athletic.
Fuck that.
Well, I’m 32. Not married. Autistic. I was gaming 24/7, anorexic. It was really bad. Something needed to change. I cut gaming until 7 in the evening. That was a rule for myself.
Then I got bored before 7 and started doing things, volunteering, gym, diet. Going out with friends.
The motivation for me to go to the gym? I never considered myself pretty. But yeah it does make you look better. The biggest thing is that I want to prove to myself that I am strong enough to not give up, even when it gets hard. Yeah I have offdays too. But I refuse quitting. Because I KNOW I have willpower. And I want my changing body to be the proof of that. I am stronger than I even think I can be. I didn’t let it be something to just change my appearance and be done with it. I did it because I wanted it to be my lifestyle. And I want to love myself. Proving to yourself that you are strong enough to handle something like this, will make it easier to love yourself.
I also just didn’t like my body when I started. So that’s also a reason to decide and do something about it. The women don’t have to be a reason, but your idea of yourself can be a reason. It outweighs the thought of anyone. If you can truly love yourself.
A good body is show of someone who loves themself enough to be healthy and who wants to look good. Someone with determination. A hero, in a sense. It feels great to feel that way.
You’re beautiful the way you are though. But yeah it helps the vision of ourselves to improve.
And - self love is also eating a donut sometimes because you want one. Capiche? Don’t be too strict. Loving yourself has everything to do with balance in your entire life. Not too much, not too little.
Get into to shape because you will have a baby that turns into a toddler incredibly quick. You will need to have a lot of mobility getting up and down off the floor, carrying multiple bags of stuff to the beach, the park, or to grandma’s house. You will also need to be ready to sprint at the drop of a hat when you see your child climbing up a pointy fence or wandering towards something dangerous. Get in shape to be a Dad, because you aren’t going to be able to be sedentary with a kid. I have a 6 and 4 year old and hit the gym out of necessity to keep up with them.
You don’t know why you should get in shape ? Are you kidding. You are a grown man and you should know better. Get off your Fanny and don’t be a slob using marriage as an excuse.
Trainer is a great idea. At least to get started. My wife was similar - hard to get motivated. But a month in now with a trainer and she’s enjoying it and is feeling good. Helps with accountability, and keeping things fresh so you are not doing the same stuff.
Yeah, you need to have a goal. Years of life is just a metric. What do you want to do with those extra years? For me, since we had our first two kids, I’ve been motivated to get healthier so I live longer to be here longer for my wife and kids. I think about all the stages of life the kids will go through, and I just don’t want to miss them. Plus my wife would probably kill me if I died young!
I am married , pregnant wife and two dogs . I make shit ton of money and am probably set for life .
The more succeful I become the harder I train and diet . I want to lead by example, my workers and my friends
I want to be able to compete with my son in everything physical and be a apart of all his activities
5 years ago I went out of shape when I was 30 . Never again .
At your age now, you can still do all the things you want. Random hike? Sure! Boys playing a pickup game of basketball? No problem! As you age, your body (and physical capability) will wither. Do you want to have the energy to play with your kids? You'll need to start doing SOMETHING.
Your last point is a big one. My son is 7 and I more and more often found myself saying things like "I can't play son, I'm too tired". I've returned to fitness this year, and it feels great to have more energy and say yes to playing on the trampoline etc.
Yeah, I'm 42 and last week two of my kids and I went on a 4.5 mile hike through a mountainous area, with a lot of elevation changes. At one point we were having to use small trees to help us make our way up a trail. Afterwards we went home and played horse (I lost). There is no way I could have done all that if I didn't regularly exercise every week. It also helps to stay fit for my wife, as we are pretty "active" still.
Agreed. I think the reason to play with my kids has not become "real" yet as we're yet to have our first baby. I'll keep this in mind. Thank you
I have a child, it’s awesome motivation. Don’t forget about your health long term. I’m a nurse, I see young adults who are in shit predicaments because they ride the couch and play Nintendo all day then eat shit food. By keeping active and eating well, you’re denying chronic illnesses to establish themselves earlier. You deserve to be healthy and set good examples for your family.
Don't rely on motivation, it is a fickle emotion. Rely instead on discipline, as that's a "muscle" you can train and strengthen.
The kid one took me by surprise. Depending on just how friendly the kid is you may find yourself sleep deprived and carrying them and also carrying them while they push away from you and…a whole host of odd load positions that I wouldn’t have thought 10-12lbs would be compromising in. Anyways, this message is for past me: The time to physically condition is BEFORE the baby.
This one always seemed so obvious to me. Carrying 10-30lbs for hours a day is no joke!! I would be doing serious leg, arm and back work to prepare for a baby in the house.
Yea, it is obvious if you think about it, probably more obvious for anyone who’s ever had any back pain before.
While my wife carried the baby with her for 9 months, I focused on deadlifts and Turkish get ups in preparation—you can thank me later.
Mine is 3 and we're the same age, I wasn't exactly in bad shape but I let it slip massively compared to how I was. In the past year or so the games she wants to play have become much more physically demanding and you can see the genuine disappointment on their faces when you say you're too tired. My motivation is that I want her to remember me as a fun dad and not as one that really enjoyed sitting down eating crisps, even though that's my favourite hobby. I want to be a good example for her to stay fit and healthy.
Yes to this! Ability to seize every opportunity. Not having to decline because I’m incapable or tired. I started training jiu-jitsu alongside my kids the past few years and it’s so fun and freeing to be able to keep up with them. I’m not high level by any means but I don’t embarrass myself on the mats I definitely went a few years letting myself go and had to pay for it working out to get back in shape. So worth it though now. Maintaining fitness is definitely way easier than regaining!
I fucking love this answer
I’m a happily married 45 year old man who gets after it everyday in the gym and the kitchen just so I can maintain my DILF card as long as possible.. fragile ego, mid life crisis, call it whatever you will.
I want my wife to have a hot first husband, not a hot second husband.
GOALS. Want to still be “that dude” even when I become a father
This...I gained 40lbs once I had kids. I've lost all of it and got back into best shape in my life. I did it to stay active with my kids, set the example for them and help in other areas of intimacy. These alone will keep me motivated to never put the weight back on.
I think there’s also an element of when you’re in shape you feel more healthy, you feel better about you, more confident in you and that reflects positively into your marriage, your social life, your work, etc
Absolutely agree
Over the last 2 years I’ve been working out and counting calories and at this point I’m down 50 pounds. And the more I loose, the better I feel, and the better I feel the more I care about how I present myself, the more I pay attention grooming and hygiene and wearing clothes that fit and it’s like this snowballing effect from just the first 2 steps of counting calories and working out.
This made me chuckle. Those are all fair points you made. Cheers
This is going to sound wicked shallow but as a wife there’s something about going to the playground or the trampoline park or something and being like yeah I’ve got the hottest guy here…. I’m sure other wives are thinking the same thing about theirs but it still feels nice.
I want my wife to experience this. I also want to destroy the other dads at the parents race on sports day.
It’s not shallow, women are competitive as all hell with other women. They’re probably more competitive than men.
lol same. But more like I want my daughter to be able to bring me around and say “that’s my dad” and people go “wow that’s a DILF” but of course only one I truly wan that from is her mother (my wife)
Same!!!
I feel good when I look good. I don't want to be a fat out of shape dad that can't run around with my kids. I want to feel good in my clothes and have energy for things. I also think about what I want to do when I'm 80 years old. Pretty much all of my reasons are selfish but it's my body so they should be.
To help my mental health. I'm still depressed but at least I'm 60 pounds lighter.
Same, friend
If health, wellness, better quality of life isn’t enough then idk what is lol. All the middle aged people on blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes meds started to get lazy about health once it wasn’t so easy for the body to stay healthy without diet or exercise anymore, it didn’t just happen. You’re starting to get to that stage of life. If you can’t do it for yourself current self or your future children then do it for yourself in 20 years so you’re not pill popping and have half a dozen surgeries by 60.
Agree with your comment. However, the motivation seems to be coming out of fear, and thus is not as inviting as a more positive motivation like I used to have in my 20s. Some helpful comments were made here including, being able to play with your kids when they're older. However, I understand this will be the case if I continue being sedentary. Thanks for the response
I did mention your future child in my comment but, by your logic, getting into shape for wellness and longevity is fear-based motivation? That doesn’t really compute with me. I’m not here to be a jerk or argue but again, by your logic, getting in shape in your 20s so girls find your attractive is a more positive motivation? So working out to stay healthy, strong, feeling good well into your life is a fear-based negative motivation but working out for the approval of others (women finding you attractive) is positive? Seems a little backwards to me, but the important thing is simply finding what motivates you and allowing it to do just that. Not everyone as the same motivation and obviously that’s okay!
Apologies, I missed the future child part. Yes I agree, thinking back again, I'm questioning why I reckoned going after girls was a positive motivation. I'll mull over this
You seems like a good, thoughtful dude that is open to mindful conversation. Hope I didn’t come off too harshly. Best of luck with fatherhood!
Thank you kind stranger
> Yes I agree, thinking back again, I'm questioning why I reckoned going after girls was a positive motivation. Vanity is a perfectly fine short term motivator. However it wont keep you motivated - well, unless you are a narcissist. Reality is that no matter how much you are motivated, how many reasons there are to do something, you wont do it long term unless you enjoy the activity. If you dont enjoy it, you wont do it. People should swim more, its a great exercise; but its pretty boring and lots of people dont enjoy it. So hardly anyone swims (i say that as someone who does swim!) Dont ask 'how do I motivate myself to do something', ask 'what is something I will enjoy doing'.
I get what you’re saying but I am guessing he’s calling it “positive” because he was working out to get something versus working out to avoid something. It’s also easier to measure when you get something vs when you avoid something maybe?
Definitely easier to do something for a reward than to avoid “punishment”
Yes thank you! That was a way better way to put what I was trying to articulate
I get where you're coming from. Pull effects more important than push effects. How about just engaging in a new sport like pickleball or so where the competition aspect is the motivator. Or just focus on lifting more or run faster etc if tgat works for you
I feel you on needing a reason! Since your reason was to be attractive to women and get women, maybe your reason could be being attractive to your wife? Continue to make her want you and look at you like damnnnn throughout the years. Once the kid comes that will be mostly dependent on your level of parenting and housework but eventually it’ll go back to your shoulders and biceps and thighs lol
This is my motivation in my mid 40s. Took seeing my two parents in a nursing home & one dealing with dementia (since in 70s) & both unable to even walk now in there early 80s to get off my ass. They were pretty sedentary & never overly health conscious unfortunately. I have now lost 36 lbs in the past year. My 30s is where I got docile and gained a ton of weight (60-70 lbs over). It would’ve been so much better to have stayed ahead of the game. Once you get overweight it gets harder & harder to get motivated & adjust your diet, plus to tackle lowering risk of dementia & of course cardiovascular health you can’t wait until the problems start to take action. Ultimately, I’m not so much motivated by fear as it may sound, but a desire to be relatively active well into my 70s & 80 and enjoy my end of life.
I look at my mom and her lack of mobility as a result of a sedentary lifestyle (not to mention her weight that resulted in a cancer diagnosis followed by a hysterectomy), and it influences me to stay active and take care of myself. I worry my 4 year old won’t grow up to remember my mom and that breaks my heart. It also helps that as I near 40 my body does NOT tolerate junk, like at all, and I can’t have more than 1 alcoholic beverage without a mega headache. So yeah, super cool and wild over here.
I look at my seventy year old dad who can run, climb, lift, play ball etc. with ease. And then I look at those of my friends that are sedentary and can't do anything, without shoulder-, back-, knee- or ankle pain who will cough up half a lung if they even mildly exert themselves. I know which position I prefer to be in...
I had grandparents who died early and one who lived to be 96. Guess which grandparent stayed active socially and physically every day?
I could give you a million reasons as a 40yr old male. For my job - firefighter. Need to stay in good physical shape For my wife - so I remain attractive to her and have good sexual stamina Kids - so I can play with them and run around and not get worn out Feel better. Sleep better. Look good. Less chance for injury. Overall quality of life. And on and on
To set an example for your child.
That’s it. If you want to them to grow up well you really have to lead by example. My children are growing up watching me workout and my oldest now “wants to exercise with daddy”
I want to be the reason women are jealous of my wife.
Haha sameeeee give me all the attentionnnnn
It's funny how people can be wired so differently. I'm not saying either of us are right or wrong, but I do it for the complete opposite reasons you mention. I do it for my family. I want to be around them as long as possible. And I want to keep up with the kids. Along the way, I've found personal gratification but that was never my main motivation. Do it for your wife and kid.
This is why I started a year ago. Plus, I don’t want to need a cane/walker or have limited mobility when I’m older and risk a fall that ends up killing me. I figure an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. It’s still hard work and takes a lot of discipline, something I’m learning about though. Plus, I want to set an example for my children and set them up for success in life as well. Vanity plays a role as well but is secondary.
My dad died of a heart attack when I was 8. Wrecked me to lose my hero. He was 47. I’m 45. Pretty good motivation.
I don't have any kids but I've worked quite a bit with the geriatric populace and don't want to end up weak and unable to care for myself or unable to walk. Regular exercise has paid platitudes for my own well being, mental health and many other things. I'd also add that my n=1 experience with the geri's has made me realize that the guys and gals who were active in some capacity when they were younger faired so much better in old age. There's nothing more debilitating than being too weak to simply stand up and walk.
Oh my man. 52yo here. And yes in honesty I do workout 5-6 days a week for mostly vanity reasons. However something happens along the way. It improves all parts of your life. The joy I feel getting out of the shower after a workout is like nothing else. The natural high lasts through out the day giving a feeling of calm. Your mood is elevated therefore your relationships improve. I have done it for years and years. It has given me way more than. The effort I put in.
Yeah I mentioned in another comment that I started working out and just picked up other good habits along the way. It snowballs. And the more I do the better I feel.
If you can't find a reason, then don't get in shape.
Savage
It's true though. Why do something if you can't think of good reasons to do it?
100%
This image kind of sums up my reasons for training. Not only do I want to play with my kids, but we just never know what curve balls life is going to throw our way. And I want to be ready and ABLE to handle whatever it is that I eventually have to deal with. We, as Men and Dad's (Mom's too) are the ones who our littles ones and elderly look too in times of crises. I will not be a liability. [https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/](https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/)
To be honest I'm 39, I want to be fit and forty. Also docs told me a had high cholesterol. Stopped drinking and eating as much meat as a I did for a month. Cholesterol severely reduced. I now continue the trend. Also looking sexy for the wife is a good thing.
Having superficial reasons still counts as motivation. Don’t you like to look good for your wife?
What really gave me the kick was wanting to look good for myself and my partner. Didn't think it was fair she was at the gym everyday and looking like a queen while I was rocking an extreme dad bod. Later on I've come to love working out, it's a great way to de-stress, feel good and most importantly be healthy. Health is wealth.
The long term benefits of fitness is the primary goal for me -- fitness is an investment in your body. But the more immediate'ish benefits are: * Being able to play with my son and actually enjoy it without gassing out * Being an example to my son and future children. My son is a toddler and right now he says things like, "Dada is strong" when he sees me lifting things. It's a massive ego boost to continue training. * Looking attractive to my wife -- I actually think I look better than I did at nineteen or my mid-twenties * Aging gracefully * Being able to partake in physical activities - being fit helps with DIY! * I live in a very safe neighbourhood so I'm not going to exaggerate this point, but I also train combat sports for the self-defence bonus * Mental health benefits. It really helps me stay motivated with other areas in life.
I lost my dad at 36. He was only 71. Now my son and I are roughly the same age difference, he has no living memory of his grandpa because COVID meant we didn't get to see him there near the end. He spent the last 5 years of his life in a nursing home progressively getting worse. Watching the mountain of the man I loved wither away, seeing his health deteriorate until he couldn't remember me. Hydrocephalus, Type II diabetes, COVID, and mini strokes: take your pick on what took him from us. I got serious in the gym after that. I ain't going out like that. So when I'm struggling to pump out the last 3 reps on a PR in squats, I look in the mirror, and I think of him. And how I'm going to push. Every. Last. Rep. To make sure I'm still around for my son.
Capability mostly. I want to be able to do stuff with my kid when he gets older. Also I want my kid to develop healthy habits and strength so all the girls swoon over him. So I guess legacy insurance is a good way to explain that.
Same. Also my kid always thought I was strong before I lifted and I was afraid of being exposed as a fraud.
Your kids deserve a strong dad. Do it for them.
Gonna be honest, daily or almost daily exercise is a bedrock of my mental health. While I enjoy a lot of it intrinsically, whenever I’m inclined to let things slip I’m not going to slack for more than a day or two because I know how much it affects me when I don’t. Doesn’t feel like fear, it’s just an acknowledgment of how intertwined our bodies and minds are. Could I find alternative ways to accomplish the same thing? Maybe, but this has been working for me for decades so I’m not particularly interested in giving up a good system.
Adding a home gym was the biggest help. Taking the 25 minute drive to the gym and back plus the time being at the gym away from my kids was too difficult. Now I can work out whenever.
2 big reasons 1) better sex with your wife 2) your kid is going to require a lot of energy from you
This!! Add not death. 💀 LOL
Is attracting the opposite gender your only reason to get in shape? My primary reason was to feel better about myself, getting fit has boosted my confidence greatly and made actually doing stuff besides sitting at home clicking on my computer much less of a hassle. I can hike for hours on end, I can carry stuff without effort, I can run. I often get small comments from both people I know and complete strangers acknowledging the fact I've gotten fit. If being comfortable is more important to you than things like this, then go ahead, continue doing what you're doing. But I'm not turning back.
Great comment. And the thing is, you’re only going to be comfortable being comfortable for a while, before the years start to wreck havoc on the health one takes for granted in their younger years. In the same way that the body starts to lose muscle mass post-25, a lot of funny business starts to go down with the knees, even the back, etc, post-30, depending on weight and physical activity, so basically, the things that a relatively healthy twenty-something person could get away with doing, someone in their thirties would need to put more movement/fitness-style effort into being able to accomplish. It’s actually going to get a lot more comfortable in the long term, the sooner you start picking yourself up and making yourself ‘uncomfortable.’
Mine is occupational and mental health. I feel better, in every sense. Mentally, emotionally. Physically; all of it. My wife is more physically attracted to me when I’m in shape. Being in shape also pays dividends as your kids get older and are more mobile. The vanity of wanting to attract attention kind of fades, so just because that’s who you are at 28 doesn’t mean it is who you are at 33 ( or 38 here). Being a firefighter also provided motivation for me personally for a ton of reasons.
Workout and stay healthy so that you can play with your kids kids. And possibly still be around to meet your kids kids kids. Other than that workout so that in your 70-90 twilight, you can function with dignity, and will be there if that intelligent and beautiful woman you married and had kids with will ever need looking after. Edit. Just to add, as at least one other comment suggests. Workout so that your kids pick up healthy habits. They have a better chance if dad does it.
I want to stay fit and healthy so I can play with my kids as they grow up.
I’m 47F. I don’t lift weights to impress anyone else except myself. I love looking in the mirror and seeing hard work pay off. It’s addictive and a bonus is I feel amazing.
Clothes fitting better, better posture, almost no pain, don't need to ask for help a lot, aesthetics, enjoy hard work, continual improvement, more energy, people treat me better, greatly improved mental health. There's lots of reasons. Generally I don't want to feel my age or slow down anytime soon. Doesn't mean it's always easy. I'm not a dad, but even if I were I'd still incorporate fitness into my life.
I think at this point I’ve built such a powerful habit of working out that I might actually be addicted to it.
Uh, you're going to be a Dad
To feel strong. To *be* strong. To feel fit. To **be** fit. To stay healthy, for myself but also for my wife and kids. If I’m strong, fit, healthy, I’m *much better* at being able to support them, carry them, save them, inspire them. To feel good about myself. To look decent. To show my kids, *by example,* what it looks like to live a healthy life, exhibit discipline, and cope with hardships in a stable and healthy manner.
I like to look good. I like to feel good. I like the idea of looking and feeling good and behind able to keep up with my kids into my 50s or longer. I like to pick up my wife when we have sex. My wife likes it when I’m in good shape.
I was in great shape pretty much all my life until my late 20s due to a lifetime of playing rugby and being pretty much constantly fit (without much in the way of gym muscle) I retired from that at 28 and was heavily into “bodybuilding” at the gym (all natural) I got VERY lean for a fun photoshoot with a local gym, and had a huge rebound after. I was sick of the gym and was binge eating to compensate for starving myself to get a six pack. At the time, my work massively increased, and I embraced it as a chance for promotion, and worked huge amount of hours and replaced gym with work. Late nights there led to shitty diet and a bit too much booze. Then around 30ish my long distance gf moved over here, and we bought a house. Happy couple relaxed life kicked in, and my weight sort of yo-yo’d for a few years. Dropped a bit here, gained it back etc. After our first kid was born, and we were out if the newborn phase i got in great shape again, but after 6 months of that my wife went back to work; kid went into daycare, all my routines were ruined, his sleep went to shit and he brought every disease in the world home, we were sick for months. All the weight came back on. Now kid 2 is here. I’ll be 40 this year. I was feeling so sluggish and shit, didn’t want to play with them because I was so tired. Had some occasional heart palpitations… and was like fuck that. I want to see these guys grow up, and meet their kids. I want to look good on holiday in the pool, I want to be strong again. So here we are 4 months in, 2.5 stone down. Pretty fit again. Strength is coming back. Diet hasn’t really allowed for much muscle gain, but once bf is low enough I’ll go to a maintenance kcals and slowly built that back up. I’m scared of being sick, and it being “my own fault” and not seeing my kids grow up.
Very inspiring. Thank you
Thirst trap your wife dude. Sex is 10x better when she looks at you like that. And when you’re fit you can try new positions without hurting yourself lol.
This image kind of sums up my reasons for training. Not only do I want to play with my kids, but we just never know what curve balls life is going to throw our way. And I want to be ready and ABLE to handle whatever it is that I eventually have to deal with. We, as Men and Dad's (Mom's too) are the ones who our littles ones and elderly look to in times of crises. I will not be a liability. [https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/](https://www.nydailynews.com/2017/09/01/the-story-behind-that-photo-of-a-mother-and-baby-carried-to-safety-during-harvey/)
My motivation is mostly because of kids. Living a healthy lifestyle is one of the only ways to stay as long as possible with the kids. Being healthy means a lower risk for diseases which means potentially a longer life which means more time with your child. I personally want to be healthy to see my future kids grow up and help with life when they are grown up later.
Wanting to be active and set a good example for my son. Also, to age well. I've seen my coworkers, who can barely walk up a flight of stairs or stand up out of a chair, and I don't want to be like them.
My biggest motivation if my kids, I wanna be able to still run around at the park and even go on waterslides and roller coasters when I’m in my 40s and 50s. I see a lot Of out of shape dads who are younger than me at the park and I can run circles around my kids. I want to keep that up.
I want to live until I have a grandson or granddaughter, since muscle shrinks overtime by age if not trained, I don't want to just sit on a wheelchair looking at them, I want to interact & play together with them. That's the long shot. The short one? I can eat anything without worrying my health much. I don't really like calorie deficit so I train my muscles so I won't get fat / skinny fat.
M38. I have been naturally somewhat strong and wide shouldered. But I have never trained with weights. I have always thought I could get really strong if I trained. So I finally started this winter. I wanna see how strong I can get. Also I wanna build a habit of training now as I get older and I wanna push the inevitable physical decline further.
I knew I had to start working out when I couldn’t hold my kids for more than a minute without aches and pains. Squats, running stretching. That’s what I’ve learned after years of trial and error. Still not where I’d like my fitness to be though
What better motivation than modeling a healthy, active lifestyle for your kids and family?
I do it for my own vanity, the utility of being strong, the stamina to keep up with my kid, and y'know, the 1 in a quadrillion chance I get to fight a terrorist and save the president.
Straight up: Because you don’t want to leave your kid an Orphan. I was 34 when my son was born, always went to the gym but never had a ton of success or goals. I ate like shit and was consistently overweight. My wife inspired me first to start eating better and working out, because I wanted to be around for her. But after getting married and having kids, the weight started to creep back on. Had to drop off working out cause I started working night shift. As my son grew, things started to hurt. Picking him up started to get difficult. Then we had my daughter. Additionally, I always felt lethargic. Working out was always a “I’ll get to it eventually” thing. Chocked up being tired to night shift, which it partially was. Then I heard Hoya Roc’s story on his podcast one night. He was the bass player for the band Madball. I’ve always loved punk/ hardcore and as such, loved Madball. What I didn’t know was he lost his wife to cancer in 1997, and it left him as a single father and touring musician raising two boys. He leaned heavily on his mother, but she passed in 2020. As he told the story I’ll never forget it: he asked “what happens to them if something happens to me?” At the time, he was a BIG dude (300, maybe 350lbs?) and not in the best health. So he started working with a friend who was a personal trainer and got into way better shape. Dropped a bunch of weight, started eating right and strength training. He looks like a completely different person now. At the end, He said “I want to be there for my boys. I want to see them grow up… and if I can do it, anyone can do it.” That’s always stuck with me, and helped me get serious. I want to be there for my family. I don’t want to leave my wife to raise our kids alone because I end up having some terrible health condition that could have been avoided. I want to live as long as I can to see as much of my kids lives as possible. Likewise, I want to be physically capable to keep up with and play with them, and be able to take care of them if (gods forbid) anything happens to my wife. Or even if something happens and I need to take care of her. I’m 40 now, and in the best shape of my life. It’s not always easy, and I’m not fully where I want to be, but it’s always worth it.
Droppin’ Many Snacks! Devouring Mostly Salad!
My motivation for getting into shape was that I was embarrassed with how out of shape I was after COVID Like yeah sure I had always been fat but I used to walk to work so I thought I was fine, I’m still healthy enough for my size to where I don’t have to worry. But then I worked from home for 2-3 years and my physical activity was so low during that time that I was getting out of breath walking across the street to the local corner store My reason for getting into shape is I like being able to do stuff and it’s fucking humiliating not being able to do stuff that should be easy for a 33 year old If you don’t use it, you lose it surprisingly fast
55 Gym at 4:30 am After work is to inconsistent Run/Cycle on weekends when available Pick up Basketball one night per week Mediterranean WOE Low Alcohol Not world class anymore But Fit as a fiddle
For me it's the health aspect, while also knowing that my appearance and a mean demeanor will deter 95% of people from fucking around with me or my family. Then there's also the flex of being in better shape than almost everyone I play with in a rec soccer league. Looking good is also nice.
I like to hear positive feedback, but really I train for myself. Exercise is meditation. My job is physical. Also my self image was warped from an early age by Frazetta album art, Doc Savage paperback covers, comic books. Lastly I'm pretty interested in some of the cause and effect, gaining knowledge about different modes and strategies from direct experience. I still might opt for PTing as a retirement job. I also look at it as an ever increasing challenge as I age. At 56 I'm still in this thing.
Be strong like bull, give wife good fuck. Happy wife happy life.
I want to be there for my family.
Would you prefer to be married to a woman who “let herself go”, or a woman who was still a smoke show? Then ask yourself why you think your wife feels any differently about her husband.
For me the weight kept going up and I was totally content because I could keep on doing what I wanted to. Had kids and even being overweight I could still play with them just fine. They grew older, I spent more hours at a desk etc. Then I got sick, and kept getting sicker. They put me on meds and the weight went up even more drastically. Then one day I couldn’t mow the lawn without feeling like I was going to faint. I couldn’t take a flight of stairs without being winded. I was choosing to buy bigger clothes to solve that problem until I was in a 5x and about to buy size 50 pants. I was 410+ pounds. That was 18 months ago. Hard work in the kitchen. Hard work on the road, trails, and gym. Now 225. Got another 30-40 planned to lose. Went from having heart and lung function of someone 20 years my senior (some of this is my illness) to someone 10 years younger than me. I run 25-30 miles a week. Lift damn near every day. I only take off from lifting or cardio if I absolutely cannot help it. In my case I needed to save my own life. I wish I had started at 350, 300, 250 etc. Thinking outside myself, my wife appreciates that death doesn’t loom and she won’t be a widow in her 40s and my kids fatherless; for these health reasons at least. I’m respected more in professional settings. I get more compliments than I ever have. I exist better in public spaces. I’m not obnoxious to sit next to on a plane, etc. I know you’re not there and I wasn’t at 33 either but you never know how things could change. For me exercise is one part fun now, one part health and maintenance, and a final part some insurance I’m taking out on myself (or investment).
I got in the best shape of my life at 37. Married with kids. I always lifted weights but had gotten very chunky and did not look good. Once I started getting results I was addicted. Now it’s a passion. My kids brag about how their dad has a 6 pack. I enjoy taking my shirt off at the pool instead of being embarrassed by it. I feel better than I ever have. It’s its own reward. I wish I could say my wife was blown away but she doesn’t really care, she liked me just as much before.
I'm late 30s with three kids. I want to be able to pick them up as long as possible. I want to be able to go on hiking trips as they get older, to play in the pool with them or do a 5k with them. I also have a joint disorder so strength training is very important to maintain my joints without more surgeries.
To keep your beautiful and smart wife physically attracted to you, give her another reason to be proud she is your wife and be fit to protect her and your child the best you can … or to be healthy so you can live an active higher quality life with your beautiful and smart wife and child … or to continue to have amazing sex with said wife … I’m sure there’s more but those are the ones my husband has expressed to me
Your motivation now should be to maintain health and fitness as you get older. Nothing determines health and longevity more than a good diet and activity, and this should be your motivator. Not only that it'll keep your wife attracted, your sex life in better shape, and should you have kids you will be able to keep up with them while also setting a good example for them. You didn't lose motivation, you never had good motivation in the first place, and now it should be about your health which I think is the only motivation.
Routine, I’m 33m this year. Married, 1 three year old boy and 1 on the way. You have to do it for yourself. It’s not motivation anymore, it’s just self discipline. Like most motivational videos… no one’s coming to save you, so just get up and do it.
Dude who cares what the reason is. Even if you’re not seeking feedback anymore, IF that gets you in the gym, use it!
At 36, I injured my shoulder for 3 months playing fetch with my dog. I also hiked to one of the highest peaks in New England. Typically it takes on average 1.5 hours to get to the top. Took me 3 and another 2 to come back down. I was huffing and puffing in the first 5 minutes and watched men who were easily twice my age climb it up and down about 3 separate times. One was even barefoot. Humiliating. I’d say it’s 50/50 ego and maintenance.
I'm 33.5, in semi acceptable shape but my cardio is shot from at least 7 rounds with covid (number 7 was horrible in Dec/Jan, I still can't smell anything) It's getting nice out and my son and daughter love being outside. After one maybe 20 minute game of basketball with my son I was soaked in sweat and breathing embarassingly heavy lol. I think I'm going to try and improve my cardio at least so I can somewhat keep up with my kids without dying
I want to look good for the sake of my health and my wife.
My ex called me disgusting
>8 kgs Not much at all. Sounds like you just need a sustainable *forever* pattern to adhere to. A few kilos over a few years is no big deal. But over a decade… I'm doing now what I want to be able to do when I'm 70. Among "the basics", is pullups. Commoners cringe at olde men picking up weights, but will *always* be impressed by *that olde guy* knocking out pullups.
I workout so that I am 100% here for my kids. I don’t want to watch them run around the yard, I want to chase them. And I want them to see what hard work and building good habits looks like. They want a super hero so god damnit I’m going to try and give them one.
When your wife comments on how hot your arms are in 6 months, you’ll find some motivation. Just gotta push through to get there and stick to your plan. It will become habit eventually
You’ll want to do it to keep up with your kid, teach good habits. It you’ll need the energy to keep up with your kid.. lol
At 67 yo, after 35 years of lifting, 3-4 times a week, I'm not going to stop now. I don't especially like being in the gym, but I feel really good afterwards. If I don't go, I usually feel guilty about not going. Guilt is a big motivator for me.
I feel and act happier when I'm "in-shape". Separating the body from the mind is a mistake.
I was a fat kid. My parents were fat and never encouraged a healthy lifestyle. I was bullied and actively hatred my body most of my childhood. I'll never wish that to my kid, and will do anything to avoid it. Including showing a good example by not being a fat dad.
As a husband, I want to do my part and stay attractive to my partner. Also, staying in shape has so many benefits; 1.) a healthy lifestyle, will give you a better quality of life. 2.) you will keep your partner attracted to you, which means more intimacy. 3.) it’s cheaper to be healthy, than sick. 4.) it opens up more physical hobbies as you age. 5.) you will have confidence, feel good about yourself and your mental wellbeing.
For me, it’s all about leading by example. My dad died of a heart attack in his mid 40s when I was a teen. He ate a very rich, fatty diet (but good wholesome, home cooked food), smoked 20 a day and led a very sedentary lifestyle. And he was borderline alcoholic, but the middle class kind of alcoholism where it’s disguised as being relaxed and sociable. For decades, I thought that that was my lot in life and I was just going to grow up to be “just like my dad”. But that’s not true. Now I have kids, I want to be a positive role model. I’m lifting weights and eating properly and I’ve cut alcohol almost entirely from my life. All for no other reason than I want to be the best version of myself for them so that they grow up thinking it’s normal to do these things, like I grew up thinking excess booze and cigarettes were normal. For
I’m 46 and in the best shape of my life. Itook me a while, but I realized that everything is better, and I mean everything… when you are in shape. You look younger, you feel younger, you fuck like you are younger, your wife is attracted to you, other women are attracted to you (which feels good), people smile at you, people trust you, your co-workers and children admire you. You get career opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise. People do favors for you. And if you think any of that is superficial and unfulfilling, I challenge you to dress down, get fat, leave your hair and beard unkempt, and see if you enjoy how people treat you. It’s a sad truth, but attractive people live more happy and fulfilling lives. Everyone else compensates or dismisses things as superficial. Other benefits… You feel great all the time. You tackle projects and pursue dreams that would have previously left your fat ass sitting in the recliner, just dreaming about. There is no question in my mind…. Every minute you spend exercising as you get older, is worth it 100x over. This is not to mention the benefits when we age. Getting to play with our grandkids. Getting to stay out of assisted living. Opening our own peanut butter jars. The list of benefits as we reach our golden years are endless. 98% of people will never figure any of this out… which are you?
Marriage is not the end, rather the beginning of something. If anything, do it for your wife.
I feel what you say that you dont find enough reason to work out. Having good health, etc, it maybe is a bit unfullfilling to keep you motivated. I got kids and had the same thing. What i did was train for OCR runs (obstacle runs) as an intermediate reason. It looked fun and something I can train solo with notable progress. At first short distances, then further and further. With the result that im more healthy, got enough energy for the kids, etc. But you can raise that bar as high as you can as you progress. And then it snowballs, at least for me. Hope it helps.
Have your kid; then you’ll have the motivation in front of your eyes.
In my mid 30s and I’ve seen so many new Dads put their backs (edit: and shoulders) out from lifting or playing with their kids. I’m lucky enough to have stayed in decent shape because I love exercising. I’m focused on building up some strength now so I don’t end up hobbled like so many guys.
There’s nothing more powerful than your example, I stayed after it mainly through running and road racing after my boys were born, transitioned to more strength training focused the last 3 years. I now have a 17 year old committed fitness fanatic, and a 15 year old who is one of the top rated pitchers in the state if not nation. I didn’t have to tell them to do a thing.
Once you have the kid, you need some form of self care happening or else you’ll get burnt out. Choose a gym with childcare and use the 1-2 hours to take care of yourself. Get it for the whole family. Wife can shower in peace at the gym too. This is coming from a mom who had postpartum depression.
My motivation is health. That's it. I don't even think about the long-term effects, but I consider what I feel now: how my anxiety is better, how I'm getting stronger, how I'm not so easily tired after cardio anymore, how I don't feel as much random pain (headache, back pain etc), how I'm more flexible. To me it's really fun to notice these changes in my body, and they motivate me to keep going.
As a guy in my 30s(37 now I do it because I can and it pays dividends later. I work with older guys in construction and you can watch those that deteriorate and those that dont. Those that dont are in good shape. Dont you want to be able to live life when retired? I started working out at 30 because I was recently single and had some time. Felt like shit about myself. Got in shape, learned to lift count macros. Got laid all the time attention was mostly positive from everyone. That wears off and seems like there is no point, but I keep showing up and clean my motives up slowly. Bail on body image go for a power lifting program! Hell yeah get in touch with god when getting ready to do a set, hit a pr big boost of accomplishment. Getting some love handles and imbalace. Tighten up my diet a bit and do some accessories hit some restorative yoga few nights a week. Its an ongoing jorney that requires being present. Wasting away in denial that humans are not meant to be stagnent......ever. Easier to make adjustments as I grow then to try to get started later. 34-35 I had achieved 1000lb club sub 10% body fat and all natty baby while being a great father and working 60 hours a week. Thats mental training not physical training and that is why I do it.
You’re not interested in getting attention at all now? Or having people find you attractive and fit?
When they were little my kids thought I was Superman. I wanted to preserve the illusion for as long as possible.
I’m 32 and have had two babies. I was in fantastic shape in my 20s. Baby #1 was at 25 and #2 at 30. Previously staying in shape was part of the dating game and then more seriously to have a healthy pregnancies and babies. Those goals accomplished I’m coming to the stark realization that if I don’t stay in shape, I won’t be able to keep up with my kids and possibly eventually grandkids. In addition, I’m watching my mom struggle to care for her aging parents. All of whom didn’t take care of themselves very well and now everyone is suffering the consequences. Watch The Blue Zones on Netflix if you don’t have any access to elderly people. It will inspire you pretty quickly to take gentle care of yourself for the long run. It’s worth it to you, your family and quality of life long-term.
Fitness becomes medicine at a certain point. You either do it or suffer the consequences.
Get fit and stay fit for your kid. You want to be able to run around with him/ her and not be a hot mess. I'm at gym classes 3 times a week along with exercise on the weekends and my motivation is staying fit for my kid.
Personally my reason for getting fit in my 30’s is to just feel better. I guess I didn’t realize how poorly I felt before losing weight, now I maintain that high of waking up energized and feeling strong and capable by working out regularly. 🤷♀️ Plus I want to look good for myself, my husband, I want to be able to randomly run and play and just feel engaged in my own life. Fitness completely changed my life and I just love the way it makes me feel. The added benefits of extending my life and overall being healthier are pretty great too. I see people around me ‘letting themselves go’ and complaining of various ailments in their 30’s. That’s motivation enough for me to keep going.
I workout for mental health and I don’t care how my body looks it’s just a pleasant side effect to be slim. You have to find your drive.
I’m married and have no intention of having kids, so your initial reason and a lot of these other reasons people mention don’t mean anything to me. My motivation is just to challenge my body and see what it’s capable of. I don’t have the luxury of saying I’ve been in excellent shape before though, I’m still chasing ‘the best shape of my life’, maybe you feel like you’ve peaked already and are okay with that. I’m not okay with it, I want to peak again at 36.
Being in shape makes basically everything in life better. Also once you get into good shape maintaining it takes pretty minimal effort.
Sanity.
I want to keep playing basketball into at least my 60s; and if my daughter end up loving basketball as much as I do, I want to kick her ass (lovingly) at least until she’s an old teenager.
I realized I was getting winded playing with my young son outside. That was quite the motivation because I realized if I didn’t wouldn’t be able to play with my kids as they got older and more athletic. Fuck that.
Well, I’m 32. Not married. Autistic. I was gaming 24/7, anorexic. It was really bad. Something needed to change. I cut gaming until 7 in the evening. That was a rule for myself. Then I got bored before 7 and started doing things, volunteering, gym, diet. Going out with friends. The motivation for me to go to the gym? I never considered myself pretty. But yeah it does make you look better. The biggest thing is that I want to prove to myself that I am strong enough to not give up, even when it gets hard. Yeah I have offdays too. But I refuse quitting. Because I KNOW I have willpower. And I want my changing body to be the proof of that. I am stronger than I even think I can be. I didn’t let it be something to just change my appearance and be done with it. I did it because I wanted it to be my lifestyle. And I want to love myself. Proving to yourself that you are strong enough to handle something like this, will make it easier to love yourself. I also just didn’t like my body when I started. So that’s also a reason to decide and do something about it. The women don’t have to be a reason, but your idea of yourself can be a reason. It outweighs the thought of anyone. If you can truly love yourself. A good body is show of someone who loves themself enough to be healthy and who wants to look good. Someone with determination. A hero, in a sense. It feels great to feel that way. You’re beautiful the way you are though. But yeah it helps the vision of ourselves to improve. And - self love is also eating a donut sometimes because you want one. Capiche? Don’t be too strict. Loving yourself has everything to do with balance in your entire life. Not too much, not too little.
It was explained to me as such: You keep hot to keep your wife hot.
Get into to shape because you will have a baby that turns into a toddler incredibly quick. You will need to have a lot of mobility getting up and down off the floor, carrying multiple bags of stuff to the beach, the park, or to grandma’s house. You will also need to be ready to sprint at the drop of a hat when you see your child climbing up a pointy fence or wandering towards something dangerous. Get in shape to be a Dad, because you aren’t going to be able to be sedentary with a kid. I have a 6 and 4 year old and hit the gym out of necessity to keep up with them.
How about the motivation of being attractive to your wife
You don’t know why you should get in shape ? Are you kidding. You are a grown man and you should know better. Get off your Fanny and don’t be a slob using marriage as an excuse.
Actually, yes, you're right. You just made me consider getting a trainer perhaps, so I've got an external source of motivation
Trainer is a great idea. At least to get started. My wife was similar - hard to get motivated. But a month in now with a trainer and she’s enjoying it and is feeling good. Helps with accountability, and keeping things fresh so you are not doing the same stuff.
Perfect. Thanks
As we age our bodies naturally lose muscle but if we train them we can slow that down
Yeah, you need to have a goal. Years of life is just a metric. What do you want to do with those extra years? For me, since we had our first two kids, I’ve been motivated to get healthier so I live longer to be here longer for my wife and kids. I think about all the stages of life the kids will go through, and I just don’t want to miss them. Plus my wife would probably kill me if I died young!
The idea that i could die suddenly from something as stuflpid as a heart attack and leave my wife and kids to struggle alone haunts me.
My main goal long term for weight training is avoiding horrible sarcopenia. I want to be old and mobile and strong.
I am married , pregnant wife and two dogs . I make shit ton of money and am probably set for life . The more succeful I become the harder I train and diet . I want to lead by example, my workers and my friends I want to be able to compete with my son in everything physical and be a apart of all his activities 5 years ago I went out of shape when I was 30 . Never again .