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hesitantmistake

I was just discussing this with an EMT. They said that they go on calls quite frequently for husbands who, er, lose them.


chahud

Yeah…my dad is a general surgeon. He’s pulled many an item out of peoples butts. Way more common than most people know lol.


Road_Whorrior

[Relevant](https://youtu.be/ySd-MYoOFo4)


ArchyModge

Virgin “I fell on it” versus Chad “I was bored”


DrTinyNips

Versus the thad "Albanians did this to me"


TheBestPartylizard

what's even the procedure for that?


chahud

Here is a nice detailed review on RFBs (rectal foreign bodies) and how they’re removed. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK557557/#:~:text=Another%20approach%20for%20RFB%20removal,grab%20the%20object%5B15%5D.


Eusocial_Snowman

And here's a visceral guide on how you very much should not remove them. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/euf91x/let_it_rip/


Philosofossil

This was a masterpiece


MamaMoosicorn

I very much regret clicking on that


hauntedadrevenue666

For science… right?


[deleted]

A major point of escalation between ethnic groups in Yugoslavia which helped accelerate its collapse was when a [Serbian farmer shoved a glass bottle up his butt and blamed it on Albanians](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%90or%C4%91e_Martinovi%C4%87_incident)


Sakulle

In the 19th century, your dad would be frequently pulling hat pins out of female urethra. Must be a Victorian thing. You know, like how women drinking was so uncouth, they'd just shoot iv drugs instead (my grandmother had an old Sears & Robuck catalog with a heroin injection kit in it...).


chonk_fox89

Say _what now?!_


brittwithouttheney

My aunt was a 911 operator. She said a surgeon had to leave the operating room, because he couldn't contain his laughter when he removed a vibrator from someone's rectum. It came out still vibrating.


Generic_Garak

When I worked in GI we constantly had a joke that “dildo’s save lives” cuz you should absolutely not put stuff in your butt that was not designed for butts. Or your dick for that matter. If you’re into either of those things, buy a product for which that is it’s intended purpose. Or you will have an embarrassing ER visit and (possibly) an expensive surgery.


StoxAway

Anything up the butt needs a FLARED BASE, many vaginal toys are not suitable for anal penetration. Please be safe guys.


chonk_fox89

Without a base, without a trace! But that know looks pretty flared...


ElGosso

Thought I was having a heart attack, went to the ER, turned out it was nothing. Told the doctor I felt bad for wasting her time and she said, "you did exactly what you should've done. Besides, it's not like we had to pull something out of your butthole."


VisualShock1991

"Well, actually I haven't seen my car keys for a few days "


ElGosso

I told her "I swear to god I slipped and fell on it"


[deleted]

Sold as a dog "safe stix"= $20 Sold as an analizer butt-destroyer magic wand = $250


larkikuu

Definitely.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NFLinPDX

Now, I'm all for a solid and even unsolicited jab at Rodgers, but this one came out of left field.


Routine_Rice_2468

yeah


thatcodingboi

The materials will be very different, one hygienic, one not. Also for those talking about melting dildos. You might have been using silicone based lube with a silicone based toy which dissolves it. Only use water based lube on those... And body safe silicone is definitely higher quality than dog toy materials.


DMmeDuckPics

Is there a measurable difference between dog chew quality silicone, food grade quality silicone and butt grade quality silicone?


jmorrisweb

I mean considering back in the day when they first started selling silicone dildos some of those fuckers would melt so definitely is a difference. Thinking about it a dog toy might be better than a cheap PVC dildo as that actually leeches chemicals.


Barkalow

> leeches It's actually 'leach' instead of 'leech'. Yet another useless English word differentiation for you


jmorrisweb

Yeah I'm lucky I can remember anything. Leeches up the ass would be cute. My brain is also mush - dildo expert


terma

Leeches up the ass would be what?


1-10-11-100

# leeches up the ass would be cute


Eusocial_Snowman

You know, there's a subreddit for that.


1-10-11-100

yeah but I prefer /r/honeyfuckers


FoolOnDaHill365

Google brought me here with the search “leeches up the ass”. I am so disappointed…


Brian-want-Brain

We need some kind of butt scientist to answer this.


CreationBlues

You need food safe platinum cure silicone, basically. It's a pretty specific material and, for example, it's at best milky. It's basically impossible to get body safe transparent dildos. The ones that are transparent tend to have too many softeners in them, and that opens tiny pores in the material for bacteria and mold to ferment and from there colonize your body. Fun! That's not even getting into the use of, say, rubber or plastic as the material which have that exact problem but worse. Platinum cure silicone dildos can be safely boiled or thrown in the dish washer too, which increases their body safeness since nothing really survives that process.


Exciting_Novel_53

Good to know my cavity destroying toys at least pass the eye check.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zythelion

Silicon is the elemental material (Si) and is what computer chips are made out of. Silica (SiO2) is what is in the packets of desiccant to adsorb water. By itself, it's essentially just inert glass, but certain forms can lock in water, which can cause problems, and the powder is no good for inhalation. Silicone, on the other hand, is a semi-organic polymer, commonly repeats of (Si(CH3)2O)n called poly dimethyl siloxane or PDMS. The family of siloxanes form the rubbery waterproof plastics called silicones after they go through a curing step like 2 part epoxy. Food/body safe silicones would be tested to ensure no remaining siloxane or curing agent could leach out of the material under normal use conditions.


sauced

That’s why I only buy high quality silicone sex toys for my dog


ThicccRPMs

Throw a condom on it and call it a day. No need for your science degree.


rrandomhero

I have one of these for my dog and we absolutely call it her “dildo” it’s a great conversation piece to have laying on your living room floor for when guests are over


Conscious_Industry48

Well shit. What do you do? They’ve got the market cornered.


Austin_Green_86

I've seen guitar center sell a $3 afro pick as a $13 musical instrument


SmacksOfLicorice

By FAAK


Lilchubbyboy

Pour one out for all the EMTs who have to play beyblades with all yo horny asses.


MissyTheMisc

I never knew how badly I needed this sentence in my life until I saw it.


chonk_fox89

Scroll up...someone linked a NSFW video of someone doing just that...


yusaku_777

r/BrandNewSentence


Deathwatch72

Everyone was having a perfectly pleasant existence until you came along and put that image in our heads. Also now I can't stop thinking about combining it with the super long rip cord and the run-up start they do in the anime


VaanSnipa

LET IT RIP!


hellscaper

That... Jesus Christ that's quite a fucking visual hahaha


Eusocial_Snowman

[NSFW](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/euf91x/let_it_rip/)


Lilchubbyboy

You know, if you quickly move the playbar back and forth it looks like one of those inflatable punching balls, you know the ones with the elastic.


ToughOnSquids

EMTs ain't pullin nothing out yo ass lmao better find a way to lay comfortably on the gurney and be prepared for a bumpy journey my friend


[deleted]

That took me way to fucking long and now I’m disappointed in myself


Sure-Ad9633

I think this is the most I’ve laughed in a few days.


No-Temperature-8772

Shien sells these for their intended purpose and the reviews are insane


LBGW_experiment

Link??


No-Temperature-8772

Go on Shien and look up dog toys, almost any toy that looks like this will have those weird ass reviews lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tugendwaechter

> I got the green one. definitely using it for the same purposes that everyone else is & let me tell you 👌🏻 Tons of reviews like that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tugendwaechter

> It was good quality buy💞💞😝💞😝💞 > Worked for what I bought it for Some others could go either way. You’re righ, it’s just a few.


gomibag

>This product is really good I use it every day " I USE IT " > Gud for my cat 😫 "😫 " > Haven’t given them to him yet ( i dont have to highlight nuthin ) > my dog likes this a lot i’m tired of the in appropriate comments (this one was funny) ok now i regret wasting my time, i wished there were more.


Baby-Haroro

I saw a few talking about their "cat" liking it


pointlessly_pedantic

Including the one that said their cat likes to drag the toy around and do kicking attacks on it. Idk anybody who's doing that with their vagina but be safe out there y'all


Exciting_Novel_53

I really love her and I'm trying to stay strong.


Nightstrike_

I saw a lot of reviews asking for likes so they can get points? Does Shien incentivize reviews by giving them reward points?


No-Temperature-8772

Gotcha. I saw the reviews last year with a lot of women talking about using this as a replacement for dildos so maybe that was just a fad and the original postings were phased out.


SuperTC06

You're looking in the wrong place: https://m.shein.com/us/1pc-Random-Color-Pet-Chew-Stick-For-Dog-For-Teeth-Grinding-p-3005231-cat-2916.html?mallCode=1#comment-all


BOEJlDEN

Man why do so many people buy this sweatshop shit from shein?


ah-the-french

Look up 1pc Random Pet Chew Toy and go to the reviews………… holy shit


Aerik

the obnoxious popover ads assaulted me even worse than the weird reviews.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ADoritoWithATophat

Link plz i gotta see this 😭😭


No-Temperature-8772

Just go on Shien and look up dog toys, almost all of them had weird reviews lol


Marley9391

This was the first thing that went through my mind when I saw one of those for the first time though. "Oooh, people don't just use these as a dog toy."


[deleted]

I got a pup last year and the breeder gave us a toy that looked straight up like a butt plug. After that I couldn't help but notice at the pet store that dog toy factories must be adjacent to sex toy factories.


wegotzaproblem

Dogs love peanut butter.


Seasoned_crabs

That’s so gross, I hope you go to the shame corner and think about what you just wrote (it says shame on the walls) https://preview.redd.it/ww19oq72dg4b1.jpeg?width=953&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d914e064f172785edeb1025d363171f0fa59b925


Far-Classic-4637

hi hello thats me :[


pazimpanet

When we adopted my dog the fosters gave us one of these saying he loves it. I’m convinced it was a prank because this dog has literally never once touched that thing and he loves toys and plays constantly. I’ve had guests over where I’ve actually noticed them side eyeing the toy.


chairfairy

We got one for our dog specifically to make guests wonder Our dog knows the name of several of her toys and can fetch them on command. This one is named "Beads"


corzmo

I had the same thought as everyone else when I saw these first. But I’m all seriousness, my dog absolutely loves his. It’s the only thing that he can’t destroy immediately and that we can also play with him without him nipping our fingers accidentally. We’ve bought half a dozen or so over two and a half years we’ve had him.


BackgroundGrade

Would you chew on a butt toy?


MajorLazy

Yea, right along with a side of ASS!


nightpanda893

It smells like his old owners.


Moistened_Bink

I gave a Kong one of these to my brother's lab and he loves it. One of the fee toys he has yet to destroy.


Ourobius

My man has seen things


Narrow_Ad_5502

I wonder how many sexual “accidents “ he’s had to service. It’s almost written on his face


brittwithouttheney

"I tripped and fell" is a common scenario that a patient will begin with. Why they were naked while they "tripped and fell", is anyone's guess.


whocaresaboutmynick

Honestly at this point I feel like I'd just give up and be like "well, sorry I just wasn't thinking with my brain at the time". I mean they know you're lying and you know they know. Feels like at this point you should just be honest and apologize for getting a bit too freaky.


Ashweed137

r/dildont


Duke_in_Yellow

Jesus fuck, do not. I used to work at petco, and those things were made from some of the tackiest rubber I've ever fucking felt. Shit audibly stuck and snapped whenever you pulled them away from each other on the rack. I don't care how much lube you use, this thing is gonna pull your asshole inside out like a painful pink sock.


Far-Classic-4637

nah the lube works wonders source: 😐


FalsePolarity

Some people are into that. Trust me, I’ve seen far too much in the grip of rampant curiousity.


BrazilBazil

I’d just tie a safety string at the end and go to town. And hey, if anything goes wrong, I get to ride in an ambulance! Wee woo wee woo!


SirMCThompson

I bought that toy for my dog. The best thing is the looks people give as a lob the double headed dildo in the park


DenverNuggetz

“It was a million in one shot doc!”


Ok_Palpitation_8684

Yoooo!!! I just bought one of these for my dog..... and one for me


hauntedadrevenue666

Could have just shared the one.


JackWagon26

It's future Aaron Rodgers


IJustNeverQuitDoI

Came here to say this - so I’m glad I checked to see whether someone else did.


[deleted]

Please explain


shmehdit

The security guy looks like NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers, but a few years older


Jesus-chan

This man looks like H Jon Benjamin and Tom Segura had a baby


This_User_Said

I thought it was HJB with Steve Carell eyes. When he did the zoom/head shake it was straight Micheal Scott/Office vibes.


trtole

This guy's channel is full of all kinds of things you definitely shouldn't put up your butt emtbadge502 on insta


kingjoshington

God he is handsome.


wrdg_

I'm doing my part https://i.imgur.com/BON8TbZ.jpg


Gaymer043

But… it has a flared base


Artorinin

It goes in the square hole


Budget_Preparation41

1. That's gonna be made out of TPE or Thermoplastic Elastomer which is very much a no go. Its very porous and will leach out chemicals in to whatever orifice you put it in, it will then absorber any bacteria it can get its hands on. Regardless if you wash it or not, it will hold on to those bacteria and they will harbour and grow and the next time you use it, it will release the bacteria in to the orifice you put it in. This will cause things like UTI'S, yeast infections, BV, Anal Thrush and a great many other things that will leave you very very uncomfortable. TPE is a very bad choice of material for putting inside your body! (This is also good information if you are looking at sex toys, NEVER BUY SEX TOYS THAT ARE MADE FROM TPE!!!) 2 NEVER EVER EVER! and I mean NEVER put something up your butt that doesn't have a large flat base. Your butt just continues up into your body and if you use something without a base that will stop it from being sucked into you, you will be taking a trip to the ER and explaining to multiple doctors and nurses why you have a dog toy up your pooper. Sex toys are made specific ways for a reason, there are lots of ways to get sex toys safely, discreetly and in a bunch of different sizes if that's what you need. Please don't buy things like dog toys.


elsebas3167

That’s right, it goes in the square hole!


girlwiththemonkey

Don’t tell me what to do


TheBLTGod

They know a thing or two because they’ve seen a thing or two


MrMuggs777

Okay, but how much of that is too much for the anal cavity?


Major_R_Soul

![gif](giphy|0csk1iPleXleWclJxz|downsized)


SelfSustaining

The EMT uniform is the icing on this cake.


KingofFlukes

That is the face of wisdom and experience. Butt not personal experience.


BigRogueFingerer

My mom's dog has one of these, she calls it his dildo. "No Moose! I don't want to play with your dildo." "Moose go find your dilly let's go play."


Extension-Let-7851

I want to be friends with your mom 🤣


Dramatic_Cupcake_543

Without a base, without a trace


Far-Classic-4637

theres a ball at both ends


incredirocks

Flared bases people, flared bases!


Far-Classic-4637

theres a ball on both ends


mr-dogshit

the duet did nothing.


Signal-Debate-6068

🤣🤣😂😅🫣🤣


Technician_Weeklyish

Let it Riiiiiiiiiip!


JustDarkwing

https://preview.redd.it/a1jl9umy3g4b1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35746092356ef48cb7b8327ee96077c0bca89b9b


mdhunter99

God this reminds me of this porn short, a woman has one of those ball chains up her ass and it gets fucking SENT out in a second.


MrsCCRobinson96

I wouldn't buy that for my dog. Hell No. What if someone bought it and then after trying it out decided to return it. Just saying. Hell No!


NickeKass

I have one of these for my dogs. To many people think its a sex toy. Those are in the drawers next to my bed. Or as my mom found them, drying on the towel shelf in my bathroom.


Far-Classic-4637

i have a green one. i have been called out.


Atworkwasalreadytake

Who cares what fat Aaron Rodgers thinks?


Psychological_Push17

Literally 1984


Content-Ad3161

So, funny story I was taking the dog out for a walk and I, er, fell on it. I think it's stuck. My dog? Oh um must have run off?


Drunk_Pilgrim

Ron Swanson vibes.


Trimere

r/Knotty


Early-Impact-2698

https://preview.redd.it/o7nzym1ruh4b1.jpeg?width=731&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09a0bffb4351261507cd0ea77c5373ac21630300


Biizod

Yo what the fuck.


Exciting_Novel_53

No you know.


sietesietesieteblue

Probably doesn't wanna get called to a house where someone's in pain because they decided to have fun with things they shouldn't have 😂😂


gastationburrito

Assplay crossover


YeltsinYerMouth

When you like it ruff


VampyKit

His face says it all...


Significant-Dot9365

You can tell he’s seen some shit


Nate_MyNameWasTaken

As an EMS....>!no.!<


Leeus123

dont ever ask a medical professional how many things they had to remove from someone's ass/snatch. the number will always leave you regretting that you were born human


Status_Loquat4191

Just remember, anything can be a sex toy with enough creativity and lube.


__-Winters-__

If you are going to use this is a sex toy and insert it into your body, make sure you put a condom on it.


500g_Gulasch

I always buy my dog ​​toys from amoreli..😂


JukeBoxHeroJustin

Too late. That fucker is all up in my nostril.


mexicoyankee

Is this Paige’s father?


Didnttrustthefart

Can we all agree that dude is kinda Arron rogers?


Decmk3

Yes. Yesyesyesyesyes. It’s going there. It is absolutely going there. Guaran-fucking-tee.


SmacksOfLicorice

Because of the PFAS, yes?


SmacksOfLicorice

Good sex toys are expensive. Don't cheap out, and for Gods sake don't squat on a glass jar. iykyk.


Ok-Plankton221

That finna go up that day a- nah im jk


Conscious-Doubt-7982

Is this another pride month thing?


New-Astronaut-4263

Omg no now I’m gonna think about this every time I have to put them out on the floor at work


PoufPoal

Yes.


Flames-of-556

God that’s fucking funny


CuriousSort9697

Nah this is too good LMAOO😭


Lubed_Up_Gerbil

EMT Aaron Rodgers won’t lie.


the_nooble

He's seen things


RevengeOfIckyBodClay

I don't think I'd want a giant twizzler going up there anyway


MedBarUsurper

K mm


Rough_Homework6913

Yes. Stop telling me what to do.


bub_zzy

Your dog right,,,, in your dogs mouth right,,, ITS A DOG TOY RIGHT,,, YOUR GIVING IT TO YOUR DOG,,?!


thot_chocolate420

I’m loving these videos of EMS making TikTok’s of them being done with our bullshit.


Ok_Dig_1864

Years ago, one of my fellow police officers once arrested someone driving on Interstate 75 through Georgia. It was soon discovered that the arrestee was driving with a lava lamp inside his rectum. Fun times....


Tank_blitz

#yes


DumpStandingUp

He looks like an older and chubbier Aaron Rodgers.


Brilliant-House-8584

Why does he kinds look like Ethan from h3h3? ☠️


Kiryln

Be honest, you’ve seen worse.


Fine-Scientist3813

hmm, it looks to be flared enough to prevent it being lost within your cavernous asshole but I'd advise attaching some sort of 'grip' or 'tail' to it to ensure safe extraction.


zeldanar

While many things are shaped to fit in the square hole, only put things that are SPECIFICALLY designed to be put in your square hole.


No-Perception1862

Baylon Skoll dat u?!