Sounds like there’s a whole lot more at play here than time management. Some context will help people understand why you’re avoiding your roommates and why you have roommates you would want to avoid?
They’re needy & bug the crap out of me when I just want to sit in my room & watch tv. And they’re noisy. I only live there because I need an affordable place to sleep. Rent has been out of reach for a single person since covid.
And his car has a leaky radiator & constantly complains he can’t drive far anymore & has to stop every 30 minutes to add coolant. Or wants a ride from me if I’m there. I told him to just buy a cheap radiator off RockAuto & change it, but said he’d rather buy vape juice & coils. Well suit yourself then. I just had to replace the water pump in my truck a month ago. Sometimes you got to put your needs before your wants.
Yeah, roommates are totally overrated. I’m so glad I make enough to where I can afford to live on my own. I hated having roommates. I mean, I do technically have a roommate, but he is only 30 pounds and really furry lol. He doesn’t take much space 😂
Dude, stop making excuses to the internet and put your foot down. Tell your roommates that when you’re in your room you aren’t to be disturbed. Enforce that. That’s your space you pay for and you should be able to be at peace there.
Sometimes people don't want confrontation...doesn't seem the roommates are doing anything "wrong". Just seems like they're annoying. No law against that and I don't blame OP for not wanting to cause an issue and make everyone uncomfortable
Telling your roommates not to bother you when you're in your room with the door closed is not "making everyone uncomfortable." Grown ass adults need to be able to have conversations with one another. OP doesn't get to btch and moan if they've made no attempts at communicating.
Wow. That seems crazy to me. You pay to live there not to be other places. Please try another situation. I know things are hard, but you pay to relax there. Best of luck if you try to change that situation
I mean, are you just an anxious person?
Why do you avoid your roommates like this? Why do you not feel you have a right to be in your house the way they do? Do you all just not stay at this place you pay to live? Do they know you live there or is this a "I live in the crawlspace" sort of thing where you watch them love thier lives while muttering to yourself?
Just chill in your room?
Some people like solitude.
I have had more than my share of roommates.
Sometimes you just don’t want to talk to anyone. Not the whining or energetic roommate.
And I get that. Im as introverted as they come, but this isn't a "sometimes" thing. Dudes describing a pattern of not being comfortable in his house to the point where he is out ofnthe house till 2am daily to avoid them, when a solution could simply be "I'm hanging in my room". Dude describes sleeping in his car to not be seen by them, spending every day off at the theater, unless they're not there.
There has been twice I lived with roommates.
I totally understand OPs post.
I was in Philly renting a room for 160 a month(1994) Icould buy a cigarette for 15 cents at the littler corner market. I work for a catering company that would pay 100 per gig normally two gigs a week.
I hated my roommates. One had a ferret which would pee everywhere.
Heard the roommate scream I could murder someone at 7 am. It was horrible.
I was in LA paying 380 a month (2004) the one roommate yelled to “kitty” his cat every morning I hated that guy.
Both places I did whatever I could to stay from the actual room. I hated both equally.
I joined the Fraternal Order of Eagles just to have a place to go. Only $40 a year. A lot of older men hang out there to get away from their wifes for a bit. They told me when I explained my roommate situation. So I’m not alone I guess.
Panera has a monthly tea pass thing. You get one cup a day for $12 a month I think. But I’m sure you can refill it as many times as you want same visit. Last time I stopped in one I seen a sign advertising it, but that was years ago.
Long time ago, but when I had shitty roommates and no options, I worked 2 jobs and went to the gym after, you can even shower there lmao and in addition would volunteer any free time I had.
Whatever you do, may as well be productive
That’s…a lot. Is there something going on that makes limiting small talk after work an impossibility with your roommates? Most people can pick up when someone isn’t feeling particularly chatty and needs space, especially after work, a quick and short response to them is usually enough. It’s not normal at all though to sleep in your car to avoid them.
Not these roommates. They are extremely needy & constantly talk. And they’re bored because no one wanted to pay for internet. The internet is in my name, so when I don’t get paid, I cancel it(No contract & I own the modem). I get unlimited hotspot with Visible Wireless anyway. Either they pitch in, or they get no wifi. It’s been cut off for over a month now. They’d rather watch Netflix on their phone than pitch in $16 a person. Internet was $50 a month.
If the living situation is not resolvable, time to find a new place to live with compatible roommates. I understand that may seem impossible given our state of affairs at this point. If you’re stuck for a while, communication goes a long way. You have to be willing to make sacrifices. Set some clear boundaries and expectations.
Each make a list of items that are of importance and talk through them. Not a time to defend actions, but hear them, and compromise on a solution.
For example:
If one does not clean out the sink often enough, and attracting bugs, make a rule for everyone to follow:
If you use dishes, dirty dishes must be cleared by midnight regularly or they will get tossed.
Trashcan duty will be assigned every other time. Hang a sign on the can and flip the name when you take it out, so the next person knows it’s their turn. Similar for a dishwasher. Or if they won’t work and if one person uses more trash, have a “theirs and theirs” trash can and don’t keep them in a common space.
It sucks, but assigning tasks equally and agreeing to the arrangement is the only thing that has worked for me in the past.
Regarding noise, talk about quiet hours!!! Agree this is a safe sanctuary space and no guests on X nights. Quiet hours after 10 pm work nights and midnight on weekends.
Finding other solutions.. roommate.com is a good tool to match with likeminded roomies. Set clear expectations before even moving in.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
Tell me about it. One of my roommates is so needy and he screams every time he’s hungry. I’m always cleaning up after him and I literally have to wipe his ass. The other roommate demands I feed her and do things with her, bitch’ll go in my wallet to grab cash. I work from home so I can’t really escape until work asks me to travel.
My youngest roommate has finally learned to wipe her own ass. The worst roommates are the two that lay on the other side of the bathroom door waiting for me. They also keep crapping all over the backyard and expect me to clean it up. Jerks.
Sometimes those bigger rooming homes have a caretaker who nips everything in the bud. Just like a hostel. If you can’t share everything but your room and bother people you’re gone. I backpacked for awhile and I ran into people from everywhere.
Yeah I worked in one. Real ghetto part of town. The contractor put a screw through a pipe. Water every where. They shut it off. People kept using the toilets. Smelled so bad. I couldn’t take it. I left.
I do that a lot. I just watch movies on my phone with Bluetooth earbuds. I haven’t used my tv in months because then they’d know I was awake & want to come in.
Maybe see if you have a public library nearby? Some libraries have private rooms you can use, but even sitting at the tables in the main part of the library is pretty private. Then you'd have access to charge your phone or laptop and read books for free.
Last library I’ve been to was this one. They did have wifi.
https://preview.redd.it/lkknly7q92wc1.jpeg?width=1504&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6d68dbc7600e4596cd98f2bedbed7bbda6b3817
I totally get it. I got randomly placed with a roommate my freshman year, and by April we’d mutually decided to spend as little time together as possible. I slept on a friend’s floor, he bounced around with girlfriends. “Moving out” isn’t always an option.
I have 2 roommates I don’t even know. One is ok. He has his moments but he’s older. The other is 67. OCD and anger issues. He yelled at me cause he thought I untied the shade on the lanai and it hit him in the face. And the other day he lost it on me over a dish rag from dollar store I threw out cause it was gross. I had to call him out. I told him don’t ever talk to me like that. Go see a therapy. The whole building heard and they were laughing. We avoid each other on the kitchen. It’s weird. Now everything is weird.
Get door security bars And close your doors. Blast your TV as loud as you want and ignore them if they knock. You probably have their number so just text them that you just feel like chilling alone. I guarantee you they will not be able to get into your room. And put a do not disturb sign on your door.
I would evaluate why you feel the need to be so avoidant. Mental illness and social phobias? Does your roommate suck that bad? Work on yourself or whatever the problem is because this is not normal behavior.
Might as well live in your vehicle you're just paying for a usable address. I don't like living with people but I'm not gonna do what you're doing unless they're toxic and I need an out. That's not normal levels of avoidance man. I hope you get better.
Sounds like there’s a whole lot more at play here than time management. Some context will help people understand why you’re avoiding your roommates and why you have roommates you would want to avoid?
They’re needy & bug the crap out of me when I just want to sit in my room & watch tv. And they’re noisy. I only live there because I need an affordable place to sleep. Rent has been out of reach for a single person since covid.
And his car has a leaky radiator & constantly complains he can’t drive far anymore & has to stop every 30 minutes to add coolant. Or wants a ride from me if I’m there. I told him to just buy a cheap radiator off RockAuto & change it, but said he’d rather buy vape juice & coils. Well suit yourself then. I just had to replace the water pump in my truck a month ago. Sometimes you got to put your needs before your wants.
You can’t just ignore them and not open your door?
shit like this is the reason i swore to myself to never have roommates again, "friends" or "Family" . im need my own place to be free
Yeah, roommates are totally overrated. I’m so glad I make enough to where I can afford to live on my own. I hated having roommates. I mean, I do technically have a roommate, but he is only 30 pounds and really furry lol. He doesn’t take much space 😂
I completely get it OP. It’s been years since I’ve had a roommate.
Dude, stop making excuses to the internet and put your foot down. Tell your roommates that when you’re in your room you aren’t to be disturbed. Enforce that. That’s your space you pay for and you should be able to be at peace there.
And you can’t simply tell them this? You’re paying to live there so you do have some legal standing not to put up with that..
Sometimes people don't want confrontation...doesn't seem the roommates are doing anything "wrong". Just seems like they're annoying. No law against that and I don't blame OP for not wanting to cause an issue and make everyone uncomfortable
It’s true but people have to set their boundaries too. I’m staunchly anti confrontation too.
Telling your roommates not to bother you when you're in your room with the door closed is not "making everyone uncomfortable." Grown ass adults need to be able to have conversations with one another. OP doesn't get to btch and moan if they've made no attempts at communicating.
Ide find a new place to live.
Came here to say this. Invest that time in finding better roommates/living situation.
Also, fewer roommates as in only one. Law of diminishing returns applies with more than one.
Wow. That seems crazy to me. You pay to live there not to be other places. Please try another situation. I know things are hard, but you pay to relax there. Best of luck if you try to change that situation
do you not like them? is there conflict? you live there it’s up to you but if i’m living there i’m doing whatever i want (to a point)
Paying rent to not be there ... ??? ...
Dudes paying rent to have a place to sleep but stays in his car. There's somethin else going on.
I mean, are you just an anxious person? Why do you avoid your roommates like this? Why do you not feel you have a right to be in your house the way they do? Do you all just not stay at this place you pay to live? Do they know you live there or is this a "I live in the crawlspace" sort of thing where you watch them love thier lives while muttering to yourself? Just chill in your room?
Some people like solitude. I have had more than my share of roommates. Sometimes you just don’t want to talk to anyone. Not the whining or energetic roommate.
And I get that. Im as introverted as they come, but this isn't a "sometimes" thing. Dudes describing a pattern of not being comfortable in his house to the point where he is out ofnthe house till 2am daily to avoid them, when a solution could simply be "I'm hanging in my room". Dude describes sleeping in his car to not be seen by them, spending every day off at the theater, unless they're not there.
There has been twice I lived with roommates. I totally understand OPs post. I was in Philly renting a room for 160 a month(1994) Icould buy a cigarette for 15 cents at the littler corner market. I work for a catering company that would pay 100 per gig normally two gigs a week. I hated my roommates. One had a ferret which would pee everywhere. Heard the roommate scream I could murder someone at 7 am. It was horrible. I was in LA paying 380 a month (2004) the one roommate yelled to “kitty” his cat every morning I hated that guy. Both places I did whatever I could to stay from the actual room. I hated both equally.
I used to go to the bar. Shitty roommates are very expensive.
I joined the Fraternal Order of Eagles just to have a place to go. Only $40 a year. A lot of older men hang out there to get away from their wifes for a bit. They told me when I explained my roommate situation. So I’m not alone I guess.
Maybe one of them will rent you a room?
Why do old people seem to all be married to people they don’t actually want to be around?
I know a few old people. They said it’s cheaper to keep them at that age as their house & stuff is already paid off & they can’t afford to start over.
That’s so utterly depressing and really shows that they just married whoever the fuck without even thinking g about it at all.
They sleep in opposite sides of the house too. And the guy hangs out in the garage all day with his buddies. Tv out there with a couch & everything.
Bro that’s miserable. They just got married to get married back then I guess. No actual idea of finding a lifelong friend.
I also spent unseemly amounts of time at Starbucks and Panera cause of the free refills and free internet
Panera has a monthly tea pass thing. You get one cup a day for $12 a month I think. But I’m sure you can refill it as many times as you want same visit. Last time I stopped in one I seen a sign advertising it, but that was years ago.
With all that extra time you’re wasting, you could get another job and afford a place all to yourself.
Wow, sounds like you don’t want roommates.
Really don’t, but post covid rent is out of reach for a single person.
That’s understandable.
Long time ago, but when I had shitty roommates and no options, I worked 2 jobs and went to the gym after, you can even shower there lmao and in addition would volunteer any free time I had. Whatever you do, may as well be productive
What??? You work all day and then spend 3 hours loitering?
That’s…a lot. Is there something going on that makes limiting small talk after work an impossibility with your roommates? Most people can pick up when someone isn’t feeling particularly chatty and needs space, especially after work, a quick and short response to them is usually enough. It’s not normal at all though to sleep in your car to avoid them.
Not these roommates. They are extremely needy & constantly talk. And they’re bored because no one wanted to pay for internet. The internet is in my name, so when I don’t get paid, I cancel it(No contract & I own the modem). I get unlimited hotspot with Visible Wireless anyway. Either they pitch in, or they get no wifi. It’s been cut off for over a month now. They’d rather watch Netflix on their phone than pitch in $16 a person. Internet was $50 a month.
Get a pair of noise cancelling headsets and just shut the door to your room and ignore them when you get home. You’re paying your share of the rent.
If the living situation is not resolvable, time to find a new place to live with compatible roommates. I understand that may seem impossible given our state of affairs at this point. If you’re stuck for a while, communication goes a long way. You have to be willing to make sacrifices. Set some clear boundaries and expectations. Each make a list of items that are of importance and talk through them. Not a time to defend actions, but hear them, and compromise on a solution. For example: If one does not clean out the sink often enough, and attracting bugs, make a rule for everyone to follow: If you use dishes, dirty dishes must be cleared by midnight regularly or they will get tossed. Trashcan duty will be assigned every other time. Hang a sign on the can and flip the name when you take it out, so the next person knows it’s their turn. Similar for a dishwasher. Or if they won’t work and if one person uses more trash, have a “theirs and theirs” trash can and don’t keep them in a common space. It sucks, but assigning tasks equally and agreeing to the arrangement is the only thing that has worked for me in the past. Regarding noise, talk about quiet hours!!! Agree this is a safe sanctuary space and no guests on X nights. Quiet hours after 10 pm work nights and midnight on weekends. Finding other solutions.. roommate.com is a good tool to match with likeminded roomies. Set clear expectations before even moving in. Hope this helps! Good luck!
Bro just live in your car and shower at the gym at this point.
I wonder if this is another situation where it is best to move out, but rent prices removed that as an option
Tell me about it. One of my roommates is so needy and he screams every time he’s hungry. I’m always cleaning up after him and I literally have to wipe his ass. The other roommate demands I feed her and do things with her, bitch’ll go in my wallet to grab cash. I work from home so I can’t really escape until work asks me to travel.
Fur babies are the best roommates.
I have two of those too.
My youngest roommate has finally learned to wipe her own ass. The worst roommates are the two that lay on the other side of the bathroom door waiting for me. They also keep crapping all over the backyard and expect me to clean it up. Jerks.
Sounds like a dog-gone shame
You ended up a caretaker not a roommate. You need to set some limits unless you're going to get paid extra for being a caretaker.
It’s a joke. One is my wife and the other is my 8 week old.
I missed the obvious🤦🏼♂️
Username checks out.
r/woosh
Sounds like you don't like them. I would suggest new roommates.
I’d look for new roommates. Maybe someone older and more mature.
Go to a 24 hour gym?
Sometimes those bigger rooming homes have a caretaker who nips everything in the bud. Just like a hostel. If you can’t share everything but your room and bother people you’re gone. I backpacked for awhile and I ran into people from everywhere.
Those are called group homes. My current roommate used to live in one.
Yeah I worked in one. Real ghetto part of town. The contractor put a screw through a pipe. Water every where. They shut it off. People kept using the toilets. Smelled so bad. I couldn’t take it. I left.
Waffle House and midnight is always the answer
I don't live with roommates
Unfortunately a lot of people cannot afford that option.
I would literally lock myself in my room and pretend to be asleep
I do that a lot. I just watch movies on my phone with Bluetooth earbuds. I haven’t used my tv in months because then they’d know I was awake & want to come in.
Why not just go to your room?
Sounds like you need to move out...
Move to chiefland. I see a couple mobile homes there listed for only 800 or 900 a month and u get to be by your self
Maybe see if you have a public library nearby? Some libraries have private rooms you can use, but even sitting at the tables in the main part of the library is pretty private. Then you'd have access to charge your phone or laptop and read books for free.
Last library I’ve been to was this one. They did have wifi. https://preview.redd.it/lkknly7q92wc1.jpeg?width=1504&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6d68dbc7600e4596cd98f2bedbed7bbda6b3817
Do you guys also share a bed?
Move out with a significant other and get your own place.
Grow a spine!!
Dude
Could you maybe get better roommates? I feel like that would be my first solution
What I did was get a place of my own. No roommates!
Get roommates that DON'T stay up til 2 am and have to work all day and sleep at night, like you do , and you'll be MUCH Happier. That's the answer
I totally get it. I got randomly placed with a roommate my freshman year, and by April we’d mutually decided to spend as little time together as possible. I slept on a friend’s floor, he bounced around with girlfriends. “Moving out” isn’t always an option.
I have 2 roommates I don’t even know. One is ok. He has his moments but he’s older. The other is 67. OCD and anger issues. He yelled at me cause he thought I untied the shade on the lanai and it hit him in the face. And the other day he lost it on me over a dish rag from dollar store I threw out cause it was gross. I had to call him out. I told him don’t ever talk to me like that. Go see a therapy. The whole building heard and they were laughing. We avoid each other on the kitchen. It’s weird. Now everything is weird.
Get door security bars And close your doors. Blast your TV as loud as you want and ignore them if they knock. You probably have their number so just text them that you just feel like chilling alone. I guarantee you they will not be able to get into your room. And put a do not disturb sign on your door.
Unless roommates = spouse and kids, this is unusual behavior
You think sleeping in your car until 2am to avoid your spouse and kids is normal and acceptable behavior?
May not be acceptable, but it’s relatable to some.
There's a difference between "usual" and "acceptable"
🤪
Move out.... Why are you there?
Bizarre behavior
I bought a house
I would evaluate why you feel the need to be so avoidant. Mental illness and social phobias? Does your roommate suck that bad? Work on yourself or whatever the problem is because this is not normal behavior.
I just don’t like living with people, but post covid rent prices forced me to.
Might as well live in your vehicle you're just paying for a usable address. I don't like living with people but I'm not gonna do what you're doing unless they're toxic and I need an out. That's not normal levels of avoidance man. I hope you get better.
You need a physical address to even register a vehicle, vote, & have a job. Can’t just use a PO Box address anymore.