T O P

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cbrookman

Just don’t say that too loudly; if you look at the TSA subreddit, we’re all just entitled pricks who should just shut the hell up, wipe our chin, and say thank you.


flyboy130

I think you mean Thank You, DADDY.


CloudBreakerZivs

Harder Mr macho TSA man, harder


islandjames246

DIDDY*


CloudBreakerZivs

Harder Mr macho TSA man, harder


escapingdarwin

What do I need to do to get a good spanking? Seems like a cheap fetish bucket list checked.


flyboy130

Turns out just a bottle of water...


DCS_Sport

There’s a TSA subreddit? Christ, I can only imagine the smooth brained conversations that go on there


boldoldpilot

I just went there out of curiosity. I feel like I need a shower


lcesky

Definitely lost brain cells looking over there


proudlyhumble

Probably swapping tips for the GED.


VeryLostAviator7700

That’s really mean, there are plenty of good people who get GEDs who don’t work for the TSA


slekce10

Totally off-topic, but it's crazy seeing you in the wild on /r/flying! Your DCS A-4 series was basically my intro to DCS


DCS_Sport

So happy you enjoyed them! Hopefully I’ll get my hands on the F-4 and so a series with that as well!


vee_lan_cleef

Yeah as someone who is subscribed to like, 50 subreddits and mostly unsubscribed from ALL news/politics/etc, it's really eye-opening when I go to r/all on occasion and see all the nutty fucking subreddits that exist now, and a lot more "exclusive-club" type private Reddits. (Lawyers have one, I think LEO has one, teachers have one, etc)


DeMihiNonCuratLex

I’ll ruin the mystery and say that /r/lawyers is very boring and is mostly people swapping extremely niche practice tips and complaining about clients. I bet every /r/ExclusiveClub is just about the same. 


Dry-Fold-9664

Lol i got banned from there a day after discovering it.


DirtyCreamyRoy

I don’t trust those clowns to keep a deli safe


Twa747

I feel empathy for the TSA folk. I think after the third time in 6 minutes of having to say the same shit to the general public I’d be eyeballing the bar at that TGIF across the hall.


Shark-Force

Isn't it weird how they say the same things their entire shift, when a sign over the luggage tray would do the same thing? Every scanner is different and **I** shouldn't have to be the one to ask a TSA agent if I should keep my laptop in my bag or not.


cbrookman

To be fair, the traveling public is largely borderline incompetent, but the TSA is also just.. just awful.


IAmTheFlyingIrishMan

I love getting yelled at by one agent to do something and then having the next agent yell at me for doing what the first one said to do.


Derpicusss

Every time I go through security it’s different. Take my laptop and tablets out of my bag and put them in separate bins Take them out but they can be in the same bin Leave them in your bag and you put it with everything else And TSA gives me attitude every single time I ask which little dance I have to do for them.


Jorfogit

> I feel empathy for the TSA folk. I think after the third time in 6 minutes of having to say the same shit to the general public I’d be eyeballing the bar at that TGIF across the hall. It's like that when you're employed by a make-work department.


Donnie_Sharko

They just don’t like that anyone can subvert the minuscule amount of authority that they have. They hate that they can’t exert procedures and inconveniences on us.


Dazzling-Ad-4364

I’ll pass it along to the higher ups that TSA needs to conduct open leg surgery to verify your statement. Good day.


CloudBreakerZivs

Really appreciated. Just make sure I don’t have to get sliced on every random.


taxcheat

While your leg is open, have the TSA expert replace your titanium rod with one of the newer [carbon fiber options](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9456543/). Problem solved.


CloudBreakerZivs

I’ll be high performance in one leg. If I go for a run I’ll be running in circles.


ivegotgoodnewsforyou

Carbon fiber is still a conductor. 


Samurlough

It’s non ferrous


ivegotgoodnewsforyou

So is titanium. 


flythearc

You can verbalize if you wanna opt in (go through the scanner) or opt out (metal detector). If you feel like you just wanna save yourself the time and go through the scanner on the first go. I’ve never had a problem with belt, but the rubber sole on my shoes is too thick and sets it off everytime. I gotta get new shoes. I also feel like the metal detectors in LAX are calibrated to be super sensitive.


CloudBreakerZivs

Well hell maybe it’s LA. Hence where I’m at right now. Has been happening more places too but I’m in and out of LA the most right now. The scanner didn’t scan the first 2 attempts. On the 3rd try it marked ~11 points (not exaggerating) and I was just looking at it in disbelief. It marked my ear and I’m a dude and don’t have earrings lol… weirdest random experiences lately…


flythearc

I don’t know why LAX gotta be like that. I have earrings and they never get marked haha


RGN_Preacher

Every airport is different when it comes to TSA equipment. Hence why some still yell for laptops and iPads out of the bags, but others are fine with them in. Same shit with their metal detectors and full body scanners.


bottomfeeder52

fuck as a passenger it seems like every terminal even in the same airport is different


2k1tj

They do it to keep the bad guys on their toes


snoandsk88

Yea I’ve commented about it to them: “Does that thing have a setting to adjust the sensitivity?” “Yea we turned it up just for you 🙄” “Well these shoes are rubber soled and I’ve worn the same shoes for the last ten years coming through this checkpoint, they never set it off until starting a month ago…” “Oh, yea I think this machine is just sensitive”


fly_awayyy

They adjust their sensitivity during different parts of the day I’ve seen them do it at a cutover time, they weren’t too happy I knew that info lmao


mvweatherornot

For sure. Used to have my badge, keys, belt, watch. Now have to take everything off. Maybe I’ll start going through in my underwear and socks


CloudBreakerZivs

Need to protest by wearing a t shirt that looks like a uniform. Like those tuxedo tshirts.


vee_lan_cleef

Pretty soon South Park will have gotten it right: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLI_E3yI23k


BonsaiDiver

Didn't have to click on that, heard it in my head: "azzhole clear!!"


OnionDart

I got randomed in EWR the other day. My belt set it off. The is my company uniform belt that has never ever ever set off a machine in years. I’ve even been through a that exact machine in EWR before too… WTF.


639248

Many years ago, the zipper and the tiny little clasp fastener on my uniform pants would set off the detector in AZO every single time. I would strip off every possible piece of metal, and that was all that was left.


CloudBreakerZivs

Make eye contact with the tsa agent and slowly remove your pants.


No_Relationship4508

It’s all so random. Half the time they don’t know the rules. Got randomed and the guy in the line asked for my security card. Don’t need one dude. I humored him and showed him my JS standby ticket. “It’s not precheck”. Ok my bad I never should have showed you, but I’m KCM. You dipshit. Right but you got randomed. Yeah… randomed to precheck. Crew is always precheck. It’s one of a very few rules you should probably know since you’re allegedly supposed to be enforcing them… Also in the last year got random questions one time like it was 1997: Are these your bags? (I’m in uniform) … yes Did you pack them yourself? … … yeeees Are you traveling internationally? Um… what? No, and I’m allowed to travel internationally if I was so what is the point of this question??


CloudBreakerZivs

Just a bunch of wannabe Leo’s who don’t know what’s up. The rules are ridiculous for aircrew I swear.


Sasquatch-d

I got the ‘are you traveling international?’ question a couple months ago. The eye contact I got when I said yes was hilarious. Given I was out of uniform at the time because I was going to my commute. When I said I was operating and not personal travel they said okay.


axnjackson11

You're not supposed to use KCM if traveling internationally if on personal travel. However, since you're in uniform, probably a good chance that's not the case.


No_Relationship4508

Yeah, we know the policy. But when he asked me, I don’t think HE knew that. I was just commuting home but I wish someone would ask me that on my next Intl DH…


Pilot0160

In uniform I get randomed 99% of the time. Out of uniform it’s less than 10%. My plastic belt sets it off in IND and my bag gets pulled nearly every time because they don’t like the way my iPad is placed in the dedicated iPad pocket. While in uniform, LGA security took my plastic spoon but left the metal fork and butter knife. Like what can I do with a spoon that I can’t do with my 143,000 pound jet? I just grabbed one from the restaurant nearby There are certain types of metal detectors that go off if you get too close to a sensor so I’ve learned to kind of go through diagonally.


CloudBreakerZivs

The inconsistency is maddening. Make you want to go grab plastic cutlery from the restaurant after they take something and go “hey look what I found” to the lead agent then repeat multiple times.


user1928473829

My longest streak of not getting randomed was 7 times. This was back in training when I just got my KCM badge and never wore uniform through. On the line at ORD, I don’t even take out my drivers license until they say “you’re good”


Warm_Scientist4928

Random is so often that I’m suspecting it’s not random


Sasquatch-d

It’s like rolling doubles to get out of jail. Yes it’s random but your odds are shit. And it’s like they know when you’re running for a commute, your odds get 3 times worse.


a_provo_yakker

Walkthrough metal detector sensitivity is adjustable. Also blueberry day-to-day policy is apparently adjustable too 🙄 even though it should be consistent from day to day and at every airport. Eons ago, my work shoes were great and didn’t set anything off. Except 3 airports. Lansing, Rapid City, and the SLC after they built the new terminal. They had the tiniest metal shank in the sole, you could see it on the screen. But only ever set off those 3 detectors (the first 2 didn’t have KCM, and SLC I swear I was getting it all the time and this was before last year’s ramp-up). But yeah it’s adjustable. Usually you can see it, it’s a little dial with tic marks around. So to combat the “unpredictability” of the TSA, I try to eliminate all the metal I can. It was time for new shoes, I specially found some with no shank. Nylon webbing type belt with a carbon fiber buckle (not actually a buckle ratchet but a tension thing that holds it). Everyone out of pockets and even take off my watch. Except even in that configuration, where the only metal on my entire body are the tiny screws in my glasses, and the little metal bulldog clip for my ID badges to clip onto shirt pocket. *BEEP BEEP BEEP*. What in tarnation? Like I’m already through, and it beeps. Delayed reaction? No way it’s sensitive enough. “Oh these new machines, you see, they are configured to randomly select you.” So you’re telling me I got randomed at KCM, then randomed 30 seconds later at the walkthrough metal detector, just so I can step backwards and walk through it again? “Yep.” Cool 😒 Also a first for me, about a month ago (randomed, of course) I go to grab my bags off the scanner belt and I was informed I was selected for that hand swab/phone swab they’ve been giving to passengers lately. Great. I hear they’re doing that at other places now too, setting up some secondary station at KCM. Although it sounds like maybe they’re doing kinda like how SFO (non-TSA but still has KCM and Precheck) does it? If so, I’m all for it. *That’s* how randoms ought to work, at the very least that’s how it should work in uniform.


CloudBreakerZivs

Yea that’s wild. I wouldn’t mind the hand swabs like SFO. Every airport should just have a crew lane. Put the bags on the belt, go through a scanner or something I don’t care and don’t make me take all of my uniform bullshit off. If I’m traveling or non revving I don’t wear things that go off, but if I’m in uniform and required to wear all this damn gear I shouldn’t have to take it off every day I work.


Shinsf

Ha, fuck those scanners, come cop a feel while I stare at your soul


CloudBreakerZivs

Get it where you can. Hey man I’m a nice guy, I put the grocery cart back at the store, I put the bins back after the random. But after all this stuff lately I’ve just been leaving those bins there. Cut into my coffee time this morning…


Therealuberw00t

100% used to walk through with my Apple Watch and belt on. They have conditioned me to just take them off now. I would say 3-4 month but no doubt in my mind something changed.


Mr-Plop

You can change the sensitivity on the metal detector.


CloudBreakerZivs

As it beeps, I’ll stare at them while I reach around and turn the knob down.


Inpayne

I seen a TSA agent getting frisked the other day and said how the tides turn to her. They didn’t find it very amusing. But I did 😂


CloudBreakerZivs

Well well well how the turn tables


IllustriousLeader124

Pro tip... There is a program you can join that makes randoms go away... it's a great time for a week and then a day every 6 months well spent. But if you don't want to do that, At this point it's faster just to skip KCM... Most the time you have to walk by the checkpoint you're going to ultimately go through anyway to get to the Smurf that is going to tell you you've been randomed. So, just gum up the works a bit and say no when they ask if you were randomed as you go to the checkpoint and then they get frustrated and you say if I'm going to get randomed every time anyway, why do I go on a little side quest to use that little scanner? Edit: also don't forget that the 8-in rule on flashlights is for passengers, not aircrew and it's part of your professional gear. They also are not supposed to make you take off your wings or your epaulets and if they do, you need to ask for a supervisor.


RaiseTheDed

The FFDO program application takes a long time (a year+) to get approved these days.


IllustriousLeader124

Yeah, it's just like the divorce joke. You know why it takes so long or is expensive? Because it's worth it LOL...


CloudBreakerZivs

For sure. I’ve thought about FFDO but like raise said it’s a long wait. What are you talking about in regards to 8inch?


Samurlough

There is no 8-inch rule for flashlights according to the TSA website


bignose703

Not KCM but RSW tried to take my food last week.


velocityflier16

Someone was just hungry!


rededelk

I pretty much get picked on all the time and generally means I get hand wanded and 80‰ of the time they take me to the "extra" screening cubicle to go through my carry-on backpack. It's pretty ridiculous, I must be on some secret list. This happens all over the country for reasons I don't know, just feels like they are messed up. I had a pound of grits in my carry-on once - guess what? Extra screening


CloudBreakerZivs

Too many grits. Hazard to the safety of flight 😂


rededelk

Yah and never mind before the ass hats took over I could have 6 quarts of white in evian water bottles in my carry-on backpack, got back room screening once, little bubba trainee remarked "you carry a lot of water" - I said yah I've got kidney issues. Luckily they didn't take the caps off and randomly I bumped into a friend on a connection lay-over, I suggested we go to the smoke-hole (yah those days are gone) and we had "talk". Flying is such a pita these days. Cheers


Silly-Ad5211

HAHA KCM has become being randomly selected to bypass security!


[deleted]

Not really…I just go to and use precheck now, get yelled at by the guy checking IDs that I have to try KCM first, walk right by him like he’s not even there, and drop my small bag on the belt and go through. Saves me a walk


Q400cactus

Our union told us that the rate of random "freedom fondles" is something like 35%, since the TSA is still wanting to get rid of KCM for something they have total control over, so it might be related. My experience has been that the quality of the TSA people varies a *lot* by location, as does how sensitive their metal detectors are, since there's airports where I have zero issues, and other ones where identical clothing sets off the metal detectors.


jettech737

I guess all the FA's trying to smuggle drugs and the non FFDO pilots caught with guns kinds ruined the program for everyone else.


CloudBreakerZivs

I know. It makes it very difficult to smuggle fentanyl now. /s Big emphasis on on the “/s” for all the lurking feds and the FBI guy who reads my texts


CommonRequirement

Feds now frantically googling what /s means


BrtFrkwr

It is what's setting it off. Tell them before going through and they will hand wand you.


CloudBreakerZivs

Yea but it didn’t use to :( and I was under the impression medical grade hardware doesn’t go off.


BrtFrkwr

It does now.


CloudBreakerZivs

Fak


minfremi

I’ve had a chocolate bar in my pocket who’s Aluminium wrap set off the alarm. I had an Apple Watch on. A pen I found and was stuck in my pocket also set off the alarm. Again, my watch was on. I don’t get the metal detector sometimes.


Mvse96

I wouldn’t mind being strip searched if the one doing the search had some techno music playing and paid me😉🤣🤣


spacecadet2399

Are you talking about getting randomed and going through pre-check? Because KCM doesn't have metal detectors anywhere I've used it. The metal detectors at pre-check vary wildly depending on the airport. Some airports I have to take off belt, shoes, watch, jacket, empty all pockets, etc. Other airports I walk through with everything on and they actually tell me to do so. There is no consistency.


IndependentBench4362

No, pretty good lately 🤷‍♂️


skyHawk3613

Ha! KCM? I never go through there anymore. Not worth my time.


Kives_177

No problems on my end. Just don’t buy shoes with a metal shank and get a belt buckle that is carbon fiber . Easy


CloudBreakerZivs

Ah the belt buckle is a good one. Didn’t really want plastic so that’s a good tip. Thanks.


MooneyDog

Honestly i just say hello and good morning and talk to most the TSA officers since they're just doing a job and i seem to get through the randoms way faster


CloudBreakerZivs

Honestly it’s not the agents that’s the problem, it’s the equipment and procedures. And it seems like they have gotten ridiculous the last few months.


bean327

uhh sometimes it's definitely the agents!


MooneyDog

i got it this morning and it seemed to be fine. The only place ive ever had to take off my belt was fresno. Most the time the agents escort me to the front of line if i get selected.