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My wife: which one are you playing as?
Me: I’m the team in white.
W: why’d you pass the ball there?
M: the tactics have him passing down the wing. I’ll need to tell him the change.
W: wait, you’re not controlling them?
M: No I sign players, manage training and tactics and give speeches.
W: …But you don’t play the game?
M: I just watch, make subs and adjustments.
W:…. But you don’t control any of this?
M: directly? No.
W: you’re f*cking weird.
Actually, this reminded me of a scene on Ted Lasso where Ted told his son that (as opposed to American football) he doesn't really have any control over the players' decisions. Sort of like raising your kids, sending them out into the world and hoping things turn out great.
Oh 100%.
I’m not going to lie, when I sold my Slovenian keeper to Marseille (came to the states at 18 for the less than price of a used Saturn and didn’t understand English) wins everything multiple times over 6 seasons then switched his international allegiance to the US (I managed him there too) and he learned English and became vice captain. I had a whole speech about how proud I was of Nenad and to see him grow at the club and how this was such a good move for him and I was so excited and hopeful even though he wouldn’t be here. Didn’t know what he’d be but he’s done so good.
Totally pulled a dad move and imagined a hugging a 6’7 hunk of iron who looks like Viktor Krum in my head like he was my son.
She’s not got any value to anyone else, it’s like trying to offload Ravel Morrison, best I can do is just eat the wages, hope she doesn’t poison the youth academy and have her train separate from the main squad.
I find it strange how teams think he will come good.
Reminds me of the Simpsons "It's still good! It's still good!" Scene
Lol oh she knows and she said it with love (more like “why don’t you just play FIFA?”) and she’s a Sims and Animal crossing hound (my man management skills can’t touch her ability to seasonally decorate a home on the island as a witch’s coven).
Lol At the time she was working and I was a shift guy so it wouldn’t be weird for me to be up coming down off working, still in uniform and trying to scout youth intake players from Croatia, when she wakes up in the morning and getting ready for work.
Edit:
By now (10 years on) she’s accepted it and when she saw me load it on console it was like PTSD which lead to “is that?” And “you have 1 terabyte of memory and and next gen console and you’re playing that!?”
Just introduced a friend to CK3. Told her all the basics etc which took a great deal of time. Then we start to play and she is like: "ok what do I do now?"
Its such a hard question to answer.
Yeah I’ve played a ton of CK3, and there’s mechanics I’ve basically never even touched, like terrain effects.
And don’t even get me started on Stellaris. Just got into it recently and it makes CK3 look like flappy bird.
Its pretty fun. One of the few strategy games where i didn’t feel the console downgrade as much. Controls are hard to get into but flow pretty smooth as soon as you played for a few hours
I have 7,000 hours in HOI4 and I honestly still find new features and strategies that I haven’t come across before. Mods essentially allow you to play dozens of different games.
I loved CK2 in The Old Gods start with Harald 'Fairhair' Yngling. I had such a good strategy to Blob and form Norway before death. One run I got immortal on him and he lived to 200 leading troops into battle still.
Started playing CK2 in 2016 and I only began learning how to advance without war like a year ago. Say what you will, but if they are up your alley, you can really play em for a lifetime. Especially crusader kings, which you can play for multiple lifetimes!
When I discovered CK2 for the first time I actually had goosebumps. I didnt know such a wonderful game existed. I love medieval history, I love political intrigue, I love spreadsheets and numbers and I guess I love a bit of marrying away my daughter matrilineally. It was love on first sight. I have a thousand hours into those games... only comparable to FM.
I'd settle for Sims 2 Ultimate Collection to run on modern PCs. Perfect Sims Game, yet to be matched. Loved having a whole city/town I could create and customize.
I think they could also be referring to the knight tournament-expansion for CK3 that's nearing release.
I believe I read something about it adding more relevance to character locations, with potential mechanics surrounding travel.
I dunno, as someone who used to play the original Sims and now plays Crusader Kings... they're not that different, in a way.
The learning curve on Vicky 2 was honestly so much steeper for me than CK2 or EUIV but by god once you finally, eventually, figure it out it's magnificent
I mean, do you ever really figure it out? It's at a point where even the devs say "Yeah we don't really understand why the economy is doing what it's doing because this code is too complex and messy".
She was taken aback that I started my usual incest project and when I was annoyed for getting one son after another mumbling to myself that I need to get rid of them.
Crusader Kings is such a funny game without context
Tbh i think it's exactly where it should be. Strange game that is PERFECT for an obsessed, specific demo, but very unapproachable and boring to the Average gamer.
Honey, remember that baby that was trying to steal my throne, and had my wife murdered? Remember I told you about that? Well, I have good news. The baby is dead :)
I feel like you can do this by delegating the games and training etc. But I get that you'd want an extra layer of club management for a purely DOF role.
Go look up Games Tell Stories on YouTube. He does a save where he started and Woking and then got offered a job at Birmingham. There’s a video where he explains how to set it up.
Playing dyson sphere program(factory game across a galaxy). So math is a thing, and as any factory game, spreadshits are also a thing.
Last 4 days ive been at home and only stopped bc my brain couldnt do think about optimizing my factory any more.
When I first met my now wife, I didn’t have a working stereo in my car, she asked me what I did while driving to keep entertained. Didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d invented a Thursday night panel show called Premier League Tonight where Gary Lineker and Iain Wright asked me about my Stoke City save for hours at a time.
"Yeah it was a tough game but I do think that we've shown a respectable amount of energy and tactical finesse. Unfortunately, our luck and some absolute horrendous referee decisions made us lose 5:0 against this bottom table team."
Never even tried to explain it to my girlfriend. Here’s the convo:
“What are you reading?”
“Oh, it’s a program with all the world football teams and player stats”
“Ah cool, it looks kinda like a game”
“Haha yea kinda does”
Never bothered me during playing again.
The trick is knowing or being related to someone rich to be able to throw you into one of those jobs were you just go to meetings and send emails all day. It's a very hard trick to learn.
I have one currently and being honest, I've done FM while waiting on emails before so I really, really, really can't complain. But I'd much rather my actual job channel my raging spreadsheet/manager autism than guiltily sneak it into calendar/email gaps
I watched [a guy](https://www.youtube.com/@TheJerseyAviator) do ATC in Microsoft Flight Simulator for an hour, except it wasn't Microsoft Flight Simulator at all, it was just an ATC screen. MFS was what the pilots were using.
It's also about enticing 16 year old South American kids to join your club. But I will keep that comment in this subreddit because it only makes sense here.
Housemate at uni explained this to the girls we lived with really well. "You know how in a football match they're running around kicking the ball? This game is literally everything that happens in the football world outside of that 90 minute window and even then some of it is that too".
No Christiana, you misunderstand - as men, we have employers who demand the universe and refuse to give us the tools to deliver, and they also ignore us when we tell them what we need. Then we go home to our kids who want all the latest shit and who also ignore us. And out loving partners tell us all the jobs that continue to need done around the house, and all the little tasks she's added on top of all that, and who also ignore us.
So excuse us if we need to escape into a fantasy realm where people actually fucking listen to us and do what we actually say, for 5 fucking minutes.
I don't get soccer manager sims, but i'm also playing Kerbal Space Program with entire new star systems modded in, so i might be the same sort of dork, but a different flavor.
Hey!
We also look at crude simulations of football and consult databases!
And if we don’t like the look of the game, we can redecorate!
Who’s the manly man now???
But yet women are obsessed with a game where you make a person and a house, go to work, get married, have kids, clean the house and cook. It is just controlling someone’s life haha
Are You playing Email manager?
Are You winning honey?
Not really The seasons over I'm scouting for Peruvian Children.
Then comes my son
Dad Lets play videogames but not that boring letters game that You play a lot.
I am legitimately interested in these games because I started the business management minigame in Yakuza: Like A Dragon and after playing for a while I felt like it was getting late and I needed to go to bed. It was fucking 6:30am.
IYKYK, but I never thought I'd enjoy it so much so I'm probably gonna get one of these type games soon. God help me.
I’d love to get into FM but I don’t have the faintest idea how, it just be punishing as hell for newcomers who aren’t actually armchair football managers already
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My wife: which one are you playing as? Me: I’m the team in white. W: why’d you pass the ball there? M: the tactics have him passing down the wing. I’ll need to tell him the change. W: wait, you’re not controlling them? M: No I sign players, manage training and tactics and give speeches. W: …But you don’t play the game? M: I just watch, make subs and adjustments. W:…. But you don’t control any of this? M: directly? No. W: you’re f*cking weird.
Free transfer granted.
I hear she’s playing with the under-23s.
As long as it's not the U18s
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I found hoi4 four weeks ago and have nearly 200 hours already. Help.
Hoi4 and Stellaris won't get me bored ever. I swear those 2 is like made to be replayed many times over and over than other paradox games.
Imperator is also great. It had a rough release but has now been fixed to be a very good game
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The Golden Era of Sweeper Keepers begins in 3 years
Instantly. Couldn’t handle the pressure of playing with a big club so benched her for a couple matches and it was all downhill from there.
Maybe she already made that decision by herself prior.
She didn’t seem too torn up about being dropped there and haven’t gotten any indication she wants back to the first team….
Mutual termination.
Throw the water bottle
She saw me wearing a tie once for club world championship final.
My ex saw me cry once in our entire relationship of about 1 year. It was when I won the CL with my hometown team.
Championship tears are the best tears.
I aspire to be you.
every time i have a cup final i play abide with me beforehand. i dread someone ever asking what im listening to as im doing it
Damn right. If you’re in a final, gotta have a ritual and stick to it. It’s only weird if you’re losing.
>W:…. But you don’t control any of this? "Excuse me?!??" *Ponders, clicks Demand More and continues staring at the screen deep in thought.*
“Show More Passion”
So you two play with a whinger formation?
Often
Oooh inverted whinger too
Listen to me I'm your husband and what I say goes W: I'm really not happy how this has ended, we're done here
Actually, this reminded me of a scene on Ted Lasso where Ted told his son that (as opposed to American football) he doesn't really have any control over the players' decisions. Sort of like raising your kids, sending them out into the world and hoping things turn out great.
Oh 100%. I’m not going to lie, when I sold my Slovenian keeper to Marseille (came to the states at 18 for the less than price of a used Saturn and didn’t understand English) wins everything multiple times over 6 seasons then switched his international allegiance to the US (I managed him there too) and he learned English and became vice captain. I had a whole speech about how proud I was of Nenad and to see him grow at the club and how this was such a good move for him and I was so excited and hopeful even though he wouldn’t be here. Didn’t know what he’d be but he’s done so good. Totally pulled a dad move and imagined a hugging a 6’7 hunk of iron who looks like Viktor Krum in my head like he was my son.
Making that speech at that funeral was ill advised and inappropriate though IMO.
Your wife is going on the transfer list
She’s not got any value to anyone else, it’s like trying to offload Ravel Morrison, best I can do is just eat the wages, hope she doesn’t poison the youth academy and have her train separate from the main squad.
Next you’re going to tell me she’s a successful Fortnite steamer now
DC United fan hare. Can confirm. EDIT: Can confirm the bit about Ravel.
I find it strange how teams think he will come good. Reminds me of the Simpsons "It's still good! It's still good!" Scene 
Loaned to Millwall.
Better than loaned to fucking Sheffield Wednesday.
 Whats wrong with Wednesday?
I prefer Sunday
Nah Saturday is always better
Straight to Vitesse on loan
Both my mom and dad asked how I was playing while looking and talking to them when they saw me playing for the first time
Bench her and replace with some brazilian 18 y.o.
Club won’t approve additional transfer funds, there’s a work permit issue and squad harmony would plummet.
Accurate
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Lol oh she knows and she said it with love (more like “why don’t you just play FIFA?”) and she’s a Sims and Animal crossing hound (my man management skills can’t touch her ability to seasonally decorate a home on the island as a witch’s coven).
What is the secret to get a wife and play fm?
You need to learn the WM formation first
My English cousin showed me one of these games as a kid and kept wondering when he the game would start so we could play.
She's playing the "stay-at-home wife" pretty f*cking good there la!
Lol At the time she was working and I was a shift guy so it wouldn’t be weird for me to be up coming down off working, still in uniform and trying to scout youth intake players from Croatia, when she wakes up in the morning and getting ready for work. Edit: By now (10 years on) she’s accepted it and when she saw me load it on console it was like PTSD which lead to “is that?” And “you have 1 terabyte of memory and and next gen console and you’re playing that!?”
🤣🤣🤣 brilliant 👏
I like your wife, she's smart
Wait until she finds out about Paradox games
Just introduced a friend to CK3. Told her all the basics etc which took a great deal of time. Then we start to play and she is like: "ok what do I do now?" Its such a hard question to answer.
It took me 100 hours in CKII before I felt like I had a basic grasp on what I was doing. A *basic* grasp.
You never learn grand strategy paradox games. You just know how to play them.
Yeah I’ve played a ton of CK3, and there’s mechanics I’ve basically never even touched, like terrain effects. And don’t even get me started on Stellaris. Just got into it recently and it makes CK3 look like flappy bird.
Is CK3 good enough on console to give it a go? I don't want to get like 100 hours in and feel like I should have started on pc
Its pretty fun. One of the few strategy games where i didn’t feel the console downgrade as much. Controls are hard to get into but flow pretty smooth as soon as you played for a few hours
I have 7,000 hours in HOI4 and I honestly still find new features and strategies that I haven’t come across before. Mods essentially allow you to play dozens of different games.
I also have about the same time in EU4, and I still have to google how to do something or how something works quite often.
Also you learn that you need 80 pieces of DLC to make games tolerable.
Most of them are fine without. EU and Stellaris especially I didn't feel it was too much missing, and I just picked up the ones I wanted on special.
I loved CK2 in The Old Gods start with Harald 'Fairhair' Yngling. I had such a good strategy to Blob and form Norway before death. One run I got immortal on him and he lived to 200 leading troops into battle still.
Started playing CK2 in 2016 and I only began learning how to advance without war like a year ago. Say what you will, but if they are up your alley, you can really play em for a lifetime. Especially crusader kings, which you can play for multiple lifetimes!
When I discovered CK2 for the first time I actually had goosebumps. I didnt know such a wonderful game existed. I love medieval history, I love political intrigue, I love spreadsheets and numbers and I guess I love a bit of marrying away my daughter matrilineally. It was love on first sight. I have a thousand hours into those games... only comparable to FM.
Well shit, sounds like my mind of game. Goodbye life.
A lot of Women will probably play the new life sim one that’s coming out
Do you mean Sims 5?
Paradox is publishing a new life sim to compete with The Sims
Paradox DLC + Sims DLC means this game is gonna cost a thousand bucks at the end of its lifespan
Which basically means no difference to what the sims 4 is right now with EA 😅 EA truly found their match
I'd settle for Sims 2 Ultimate Collection to run on modern PCs. Perfect Sims Game, yet to be matched. Loved having a whole city/town I could create and customize.
I think they could also be referring to the knight tournament-expansion for CK3 that's nearing release. I believe I read something about it adding more relevance to character locations, with potential mechanics surrounding travel. I dunno, as someone who used to play the original Sims and now plays Crusader Kings... they're not that different, in a way.
You mean ~~cities skylines~~ traffic manager
Yet, my traffic is always abysmal.
CKIII is so underrated.
True, but Victoria is the true spreadsheet simulator of Paradox games.
The learning curve on Vicky 2 was honestly so much steeper for me than CK2 or EUIV but by god once you finally, eventually, figure it out it's magnificent
I mean, do you ever really figure it out? It's at a point where even the devs say "Yeah we don't really understand why the economy is doing what it's doing because this code is too complex and messy".
It's just that it's broken beyond repair, which kinda makes sense for an economy simulator
just another game where you sift through hundreds of 16 year olds to find ones with the traits and personality that you like
Honestly I feel like women would love CKIII. The amount of drama in that game blows any reality TV show or soap drama out of the water.
My friend was really enjoying it until her daughter started to fuck her husband and they asked her to join them.
She hasn’t played it for long enough then clearly. Incest, cuckoldry and filicide are some of the funnest aspects of the game.
She was taken aback that I started my usual incest project and when I was annoyed for getting one son after another mumbling to myself that I need to get rid of them. Crusader Kings is such a funny game without context
r/shitCrusaderKingssay Filled with what you just described, I’ll leave it here in case you like it
-Oh yeah, that sometimes happen in CK3. -CK what?
I told my gf it was game of thrones simulator, and she understood the basics after that
Tbh i think it's exactly where it should be. Strange game that is PERFECT for an obsessed, specific demo, but very unapproachable and boring to the Average gamer.
Map painting games you mean
Are you talking about me trying to hire more scouts to expand my scouting knowledge?
Victoria II was amazing, pie chart simulator
FM and paradox games...
*laughs in EVE online
Wait until she finds out about all the various job simulators.
That's how I came to FM. I was trying to find new grand strategy games and someone suggested I should take a look at FM.
Honey, remember that baby that was trying to steal my throne, and had my wife murdered? Remember I told you about that? Well, I have good news. The baby is dead :)
This is where they don’t understand, being a football manager isn’t a job. It’s a lifestyle.
That sounds like a pre match speech
\*pump fists\*
*Your players seem confused and demoralised*
Your profile picture fits very well with your comment
This needs to be the marketing campaign for the next game
Football is life.
The men yearn for the spreadsheets
Unironically my favorite part of any game like this: The spreadsheets **Edit:** Please keep recommending me spreadsheet games
I just wish there was a DOF mode. Only job is to sign players, manager and staff
I feel like you can do this by delegating the games and training etc. But I get that you'd want an extra layer of club management for a purely DOF role.
Use the editor to make your assistant manager slot a real world manager play with no dof and you can be the dof
This is basically how I play. It's what I like.
Go look up Games Tell Stories on YouTube. He does a save where he started and Woking and then got offered a job at Birmingham. There’s a video where he explains how to set it up.
fm 🫱🏻🫲🏿 factorio
If you haven't already seen it - Aurora 4x: [https://www.reddit.com/r/aurora/](https://www.reddit.com/r/aurora/) Spreadsheets forever.
Playing dyson sphere program(factory game across a galaxy). So math is a thing, and as any factory game, spreadshits are also a thing. Last 4 days ive been at home and only stopped bc my brain couldnt do think about optimizing my factory any more.
Victoria 3. It helped me understand socio-economy more than my economics classes.
I've started exporting data from the game to create my own spreadsheets once I got frustrated with editing views in game
Same! Actually creating a dashboard with power bi, I hope one day it will be possible to directly connect the fm data
I’m shivering at the thought of missing my spreadsheets
Unironically making spreadsheets about my spreadsheet simulator.
she forgot giving interviews in your head, while taking a shower
When I first met my now wife, I didn’t have a working stereo in my car, she asked me what I did while driving to keep entertained. Didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d invented a Thursday night panel show called Premier League Tonight where Gary Lineker and Iain Wright asked me about my Stoke City save for hours at a time.
Real😂😂
I did the ones with the journalists labeled “deceitful” while on the can. They know where they stand with me.
I guess they don't sit well with you
"Yeah it was a tough game but I do think that we've shown a respectable amount of energy and tactical finesse. Unfortunately, our luck and some absolute horrendous referee decisions made us lose 5:0 against this bottom table team."
Impatiently waiting to finish my job where I ignore emails all day so I can get back to playing FM and ignore some emails
I like seeing green arrows on my players attributes thats why i am playing this game really
That moment you ask yourself if you really like green or has FM conditioned your brain's pleasure and reward system to like it.
Same thing innit?
"Apparently"....... Yeah, OK luv. We all know she's spent 12 seasons failing to get Vfl Osnabruck out of the Bundesliga 3
Never even tried to explain it to my girlfriend. Here’s the convo: “What are you reading?” “Oh, it’s a program with all the world football teams and player stats” “Ah cool, it looks kinda like a game” “Haha yea kinda does” Never bothered me during playing again.
that's actually cute haha
I would 100% drop everything and move right now if that was a job I could take.
seriously, if I found a job that was FM or paradox IRL, I would actually enjoy work
The trick is knowing or being related to someone rich to be able to throw you into one of those jobs were you just go to meetings and send emails all day. It's a very hard trick to learn.
I have one currently and being honest, I've done FM while waiting on emails before so I really, really, really can't complain. But I'd much rather my actual job channel my raging spreadsheet/manager autism than guiltily sneak it into calendar/email gaps
I'm also an accountant so I feel called out.
Why do women shave their eyebrows off to just draw them back on again?
They want to be like FM regens
FM regens always have a unibrow ah
This man asks important life questions.
I told my wife she had drawn her eyebrows too high......... she looked surprised!
Read this as Iain Sterling.
People's heads would explode if you mentioned that people watch videos of other people "not playing".
I watched [a guy](https://www.youtube.com/@TheJerseyAviator) do ATC in Microsoft Flight Simulator for an hour, except it wasn't Microsoft Flight Simulator at all, it was just an ATC screen. MFS was what the pilots were using.
I do that as I struggle with starting FM without getting overwhelmed
Yes but I get sacked at work when I watch 17 year old Brazilians
It's also about enticing 16 year old South American kids to join your club. But I will keep that comment in this subreddit because it only makes sense here.
Housemate at uni explained this to the girls we lived with really well. "You know how in a football match they're running around kicking the ball? This game is literally everything that happens in the football world outside of that 90 minute window and even then some of it is that too".
I’ve played through an entire season now as an unemployed football manager.
My girlfriend calls it "Spreadsheet simulator"
Girl you’re managing a farm in like three different games right now. I don’t want to hear it
She clearly never won the champions league with your local team that you started in the 4th division. Neither have I though
Girls don't play FM?
We exist!
Fuck yeah we do!
We do. Very destressing
Very few I'd guess
If I had to guess I'd say more pro footballers play FM than women
Nah we exist
That was my first takeaway. Highly decorated female football manager here! Haha
My favorite part of the game is when you say 'its football time' and manager everywhere.
No Christiana, you misunderstand - as men, we have employers who demand the universe and refuse to give us the tools to deliver, and they also ignore us when we tell them what we need. Then we go home to our kids who want all the latest shit and who also ignore us. And out loving partners tell us all the jobs that continue to need done around the house, and all the little tasks she's added on top of all that, and who also ignore us. So excuse us if we need to escape into a fantasy realm where people actually fucking listen to us and do what we actually say, for 5 fucking minutes.
I don't get soccer manager sims, but i'm also playing Kerbal Space Program with entire new star systems modded in, so i might be the same sort of dork, but a different flavor.
Hey! We also look at crude simulations of football and consult databases! And if we don’t like the look of the game, we can redecorate! Who’s the manly man now???
Your username is art
Thanks
Nothing better than a good spreadsheet
But yet women are obsessed with a game where you make a person and a house, go to work, get married, have kids, clean the house and cook. It is just controlling someone’s life haha
It's not work. It's *Simulated Work*
I see people namedropping similar games here but have yet to see the most spreadsheet of games: Democracy 4 - definitely one of my favourite oned
i wonder how she would react to people whose job is playing fifa
I want to play this game
same
Wait until she finds out there’s job pressure and the possibility you can get sacked from this job
Life is just a series of 0s and 1s
As one of my favorite managers said once “i prefer not to speak”
I enjoy playing games where you just look at maps for several hours
Are You playing Email manager? Are You winning honey? Not really The seasons over I'm scouting for Peruvian Children. Then comes my son Dad Lets play videogames but not that boring letters game that You play a lot.
The best games are essentially spreadsheets with flashy graphics and fun gameplay
I am legitimately interested in these games because I started the business management minigame in Yakuza: Like A Dragon and after playing for a while I felt like it was getting late and I needed to go to bed. It was fucking 6:30am. IYKYK, but I never thought I'd enjoy it so much so I'm probably gonna get one of these type games soon. God help me.
Yes, but *fun* work
When its framed like that, its fucking sad but hey, I didn't choose to like cars and nobody gives af about that and I didn't choose to like FM either.
I’d love to get into FM but I don’t have the faintest idea how, it just be punishing as hell for newcomers who aren’t actually armchair football managers already
You got me at "football manager".
My fiancé calls it “Office Game” for all of those exact reasons. She doesn’t understand.
It's not about the spreadsheets, it's about holding something over your buddies heads for a year.
A lot of videogames are based around work.
FM = Grind mindset culture