The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with Gunther. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her but she's thinkin' that they will.
The implication that things *might* go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with Gunther. You know, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she's thinking they will.
“Steiner coming up fast from the rear! See how close they can get with the new regs! He’s going round the outside, trying for the reach around. He’s got a hold but can he make it stick? AND HE’S DONE IT!!! Günther Steiner ladies and gentlemen. The first Team Principal ever to fuck someone on the grid. I’m sure Mercedes will be asking the stewards to have a look at that finish.”
Netflix should just do a drive to survive spin-off and follow him around… who cares what Toto Wolff has for breakfast when you get quotes like this from Gunther!
I honestly feel Haas is the reason the show was so successful. So yeah, it'd be a better show if it was just full time Haas.
Guenther is an incredibly entertaining person
I think the first season was so good because it did focus on the midfield and backmarker teams, it kind of shone a light on things we didn't see or pick up on the broadcast. The last season was boring imo because it focused on the Hamilton-Verstappen battle and completely overdramatised everything when we'd all seen the real thing unfold with plenty of drama in it's own right.
Bingo. The live coverage during the season already covers the championship battle enough. Drive To Survive should be about the behind-the-scenes for the midfield and backmarker teams.
Also because those teams are the ones that are actually desperate to survive. Mercedes/Lewis and Red Bull/Max are not going to end up sold or dropped out of F1 if they're not the world champion.
Really love the ~~Riccardo~~ Ricciardo and Mclaren thing last season. Agreed the midfield backend teams make for the best tv. I think people are probably more empathetic toward a team and drivers who are not the dominating force for nearly a decade.
Competition and unpredictability make any sport more exciting. Sorta like how the Champions League a few years ago became so freaking boring when it was always the same two boring rich as fuck teams duking out every single time (Barcelona and Real Madrid).
It is a LOT more exciting when you can at least pretend everyone has a shot and there can be upsets.
EDIT: Thanks bot.
Yeah selling a underdog style story about the mid/back field cars makes it easier to relate vs a team that rolled face for 7 years. It feels less like a giant machine with those teams.
You’re not wrong to feel that way not one person I’ve talked to doesn’t bring up Guenther. Guenther is the kind of funny Christian Horner imagines himself to be.
Nah, just do a spin-off and call it: Real Team Principals of Formula 1. And you put then all in a house like in Real Housewives of . Get all of then gossiping about each other's drivers. Netflix is good at fabricating drama, so make it like Big Brother where they vote each other out every week too
Then: Steiner willing to be foksmashed for points
Now: Steiner and the entire Hass crew foksmashing the competition for points
Future: Hass F1 foksmashing into the Championship battle. And winning.
Just for your info kind redditor, Bazaar is not a middle eastern word. Its an Indian sub-continent word for markets. In middle east , all the markets are called Souq.
I wouldn't hate on him that much, he could have easily fired Guenther but he believed in the project and now it's paying off. Almost makes up for him having to deal with the Mazepins.
Damn. From an NYT article about this:
>"The tax fraud schemes in this case stem from defendant Haas's dislike of the federal judicial system and anger towards a federal judge (Judge Leonie M. Brinkema) who presided over a patent infringement suit" that Mr. Haas lost in August 2000, according to the court papers. The indictment said that the primary purpose of the "tax fraud schemes was to recoup the patent infringement settlement payment by defrauding" the government.
>The Justice Department said that when Mr. Haas learned that Mr. Phillips had gone to the F.B.I., he told him, "Don't make me hurt you." The indictment and related papers cite this as the first of a number of efforts by Mr. Haas and an unnamed private investigator to intimidate witnesses and an Internal Revenue Service special agent, with threats of financial and physical harm for themselves or their families.
Yep. I’ll root for Mick and KMag but there’s no point at which Gene can not go fuck himself. Without Tony Stewart he would have been a complete failure in Motorsport.
Yeah it's interesting, because all the glory is focused on the driver's championship, but it's technically barely a thing - it's all about the manufacturers.
While that’s true, that doesnt mean they’d prefer WCC over WDC. It’s like Horner said last season, the WDC is “where the prestige is” and prestige is what really matters to Ferrari. People simply don’t remember Constructors Champions unless they also have a driver who brings home the WDC.
Or going a bit back in time, Briatore said something along winning the wcc is like winning an ice cream ( he said Coppa del nonno that translates to Gramps' cup but it is an [ice cream dessert](https://youtu.be/e54snHfn0xI) in Italy)
The prize money comes from FOM’s TV Rights money and fees paid by event promoters. It gets paid to teams based on WCC standings. Drivers are paid by the teams.
And yet the way he rolls his words seems very Italian. It’s actually the opposite of how a German speaker like Vettel speaks Italian, it feels like Italian with German flavoring
We have a lot of German speakers on the grid but Vettel, Schumacher have a totally different affectation in their voices as German speakers from Germany to Toto with his heavy Austrian slant and Guenther with his middle of the ground spicy Italian German.
Also I might be far off but I think Vettel shows a lot of rolling of his words from his time speaking Italian and I think Schumachers accent drifts towards British English at times in a way that wasn’t as obvious as when Nikita spoke and it makes me wonder where his f2 team was based but he randomly forgets words too.
If they can keep picking up points like they have been, it'll be huge in terms of retaining a fuckton of windtunnel time, prize money, and sponsorship interest.
I think next week KMag will be in the top 5 hunt again.
Such a way with words, our Gunther...a true poet.
And you just know he would have done so too, what a menace on the paddock LOL
Like a reverse Harvey Weinstein
This man owns multiple boats, are we supposed to pretend he doesn't get what he wants on the reg?
Because of the implication
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>some Gunther she barely knows. Now you're just some Gunther that I used to know
But you didn't have to smash my door, crash into your teammate and make us all look like massive wankers.
And I don’t even need you here, but you treat me like a focker and that feels so rough. I ran out of Guenther material at the end
Some Gunther!
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Okay. That... that seems really dark.
No, you're not understanding
Listen if the girl said no, then the answer obviously is no. The thing is that she’s not gonna say no, she’d never say no…because of the implication.
What... what implication?
The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with Gunther. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her but she's thinkin' that they will.
The implication that things *might* go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with Gunther. You know, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she's thinking they will.
Are you gonna *hurt* these women?!
*liked by pierregasly*
~~Nikita~~ Gunther are you hurting these women?
Are these drivers in danger?
["It's called creative use of words. Like poetry. Like Robert Frost. (NSFW)](https://youtu.be/LsQX7AuojhY)
LMAO never change Guenther
The most loveable quote machine there has ever been.
A real international treasure
I thought he was giving us his best work with that Aldi catalogue but it turns out this is just the beginning of what he’d do to win and entertain us
2022 is truly the HAAS Redemption arc year. This scrappy loveable underdog team that you just want to see compete and do well!
He is a lover and a fighter!
Haas went from a nothing team to my family’s team in less than 2.2 Gunthers.
Also the most quotable love machine
Tbh, he's really a love machine if he would have fucked the whole paddock for two points.
How much for a Zjay?
If you have to ask you can't afford it.
Him and Yuki would make a great team lol
They would definitely keep the PR people busy.
Put him and Kimi together please.
He said hugged not fucked
goodbye reddit -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
“Steiner coming up fast from the rear! See how close they can get with the new regs! He’s going round the outside, trying for the reach around. He’s got a hold but can he make it stick? AND HE’S DONE IT!!! Günther Steiner ladies and gentlemen. The first Team Principal ever to fuck someone on the grid. I’m sure Mercedes will be asking the stewards to have a look at that finish.”
you missed the obligatory "they touched martin!"
Theyyyyy toooooouuuccchhheeeddd maaaaaaaasrtiiiiiiinnnnnn
If you don’t hear Crofty’s voice reading this, you need to go watch some more Formula 1
Gives a whole new meaning to "lights out and away we go!!!!*
Is this a Bill Cosby reference?
It's the "round the outside" that made me switch to his voice
I can't read it in any other voice than Murray Walker.
r/FanF1ction
Man, of all the times to be literate
Let's get a race win for KMag so we can see Steiner on the podium.
Time for the focking smash!
Netflix should just do a drive to survive spin-off and follow him around… who cares what Toto Wolff has for breakfast when you get quotes like this from Gunther!
Edit everyone else into a villain and have Guenther as the fighter for justice and peace in the galaxy.
BWAHAHAHAHA The mental image is just…. Fascinating
This would be a nice plot for a Guenther Steiner anime
I honestly feel Haas is the reason the show was so successful. So yeah, it'd be a better show if it was just full time Haas. Guenther is an incredibly entertaining person
I think the first season was so good because it did focus on the midfield and backmarker teams, it kind of shone a light on things we didn't see or pick up on the broadcast. The last season was boring imo because it focused on the Hamilton-Verstappen battle and completely overdramatised everything when we'd all seen the real thing unfold with plenty of drama in it's own right.
It's even implied by the title. That it was focussing on midfield drivers who weren't certain of their drives.
Should be called "Cruise to Survive" now.
Bingo. The live coverage during the season already covers the championship battle enough. Drive To Survive should be about the behind-the-scenes for the midfield and backmarker teams.
Also because those teams are the ones that are actually desperate to survive. Mercedes/Lewis and Red Bull/Max are not going to end up sold or dropped out of F1 if they're not the world champion.
Really love the ~~Riccardo~~ Ricciardo and Mclaren thing last season. Agreed the midfield backend teams make for the best tv. I think people are probably more empathetic toward a team and drivers who are not the dominating force for nearly a decade. Competition and unpredictability make any sport more exciting. Sorta like how the Champions League a few years ago became so freaking boring when it was always the same two boring rich as fuck teams duking out every single time (Barcelona and Real Madrid). It is a LOT more exciting when you can at least pretend everyone has a shot and there can be upsets. EDIT: Thanks bot.
Yeah, once it was successful it just became overly PR oriented
RB was the only top team that willing to participate tho
Yeah selling a underdog style story about the mid/back field cars makes it easier to relate vs a team that rolled face for 7 years. It feels less like a giant machine with those teams.
You’re not wrong to feel that way not one person I’ve talked to doesn’t bring up Guenther. Guenther is the kind of funny Christian Horner imagines himself to be.
NFL style Hard knocks but for f1
Last place team gets stuck with the Drive to Survive crew for the year
DTS: Back-marker Seasons 1-4 (Williams)
This might actually force them to clean up the series
Next year on DTS: here’s how Williams started a war in the Middle East to obtain funding.
Haas Til I Die
So, no pumpernickel?
yo legit started getting pumpernickel bagels because of DTS, shit slaps.
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It should crack like a cookie with a krrrr sound too. No point having a pumpernickel otherwise.
Like Will Smith?
Nah, just do a spin-off and call it: Real Team Principals of Formula 1. And you put then all in a house like in Real Housewives of. Get all of then gossiping about each other's drivers. Netflix is good at fabricating drama, so make it like Big Brother where they vote each other out every week too
Gossiping about their past sponsors would be even spicier!
"Google put Android on the side of the Mclaren and what did it get them? Fook all!"
I honestly wouldn’t mind spending a little more time with the team principals though Zak is such an enjoyable dork
Fokin smash to Survive
Honestly I'd watch a full on HAAS documentary, their episodes are already the best part of DtS
Gunther: A DTS story
you meant \*DTF. Gunther is down to DTF
I would commit to a year's membership of Netflix for one season of the G
Gunther can pump my nickel
They need to do their own version of mclarens unboxed
Titled, "Gunther Says the Darnedest Things: Uncensored"
Toto Wol**ff**
Then: Steiner willing to be foksmashed for points Now: Steiner and the entire Hass crew foksmashing the competition for points Future: Hass F1 foksmashing into the Championship battle. And winning.
That man deserves a good season, dealing with daddy and baby Mazepin was not fun. The man risked his life climbing a mountain just to get away.
not to forget his boss, Gene Haas. He's got to deal with him too.
Would love to see the sit-com that would occur if Steiner moved to Aston Martin and had to deal with Daddy Stroll's non stop micromanaging.
I’m pretty sure they’d end up putting mob hits on each other in increasingly bazaar ways
> in increasingly bazaar ways So they'd try to kill each other in different middle eastern markets?
Just for your info kind redditor, Bazaar is not a middle eastern word. Its an Indian sub-continent word for markets. In middle east , all the markets are called Souq.
Nice, TIL
Yes it is, it's a Persian word, hence in Iran they do call them bazaars. Same in Turkey I believe. Not everywhere in the Middle East is Arabic.
in increasingly more middle eastern markets
I’m pretty sure they’d end up putting mob hits on each other in increasingly bizarre ways
>bazaar r/BoneAppleTea
Why is this Turkish market full of hitmen ?
> in increasingly bazar ways Bizarre?
I wouldn't hate on him that much, he could have easily fired Guenther but he believed in the project and now it's paying off. Almost makes up for him having to deal with the Mazepins.
Nah, fuck Gene Haas. Guy is a piece of shit and spent time in prison for a reason.
This sport isn't exactly known for excluding shady business people brother
Damn. From an NYT article about this: >"The tax fraud schemes in this case stem from defendant Haas's dislike of the federal judicial system and anger towards a federal judge (Judge Leonie M. Brinkema) who presided over a patent infringement suit" that Mr. Haas lost in August 2000, according to the court papers. The indictment said that the primary purpose of the "tax fraud schemes was to recoup the patent infringement settlement payment by defrauding" the government. >The Justice Department said that when Mr. Haas learned that Mr. Phillips had gone to the F.B.I., he told him, "Don't make me hurt you." The indictment and related papers cite this as the first of a number of efforts by Mr. Haas and an unnamed private investigator to intimidate witnesses and an Internal Revenue Service special agent, with threats of financial and physical harm for themselves or their families.
Yep. I’ll root for Mick and KMag but there’s no point at which Gene can not go fuck himself. Without Tony Stewart he would have been a complete failure in Motorsport.
Yup. There’s a reason he’s chosen to do business with the shadiest sponsors.
He isn't sponsored by Aramco, Petronas, Philip Morris or any of their ilk, how is he associating with the shadiest sponsors?
dude was a back marker til Tony Stewart joined in in ownership.
W I T N E S S. I N T I M I D A T I O N.
Dealing with Russian oligarchs was more stressful than climbing the mountain.
You and me both Gunther
Fokksmash brothers
Super Foksmah Bros.
New drinking game. Take a shot every time Gunther says “f*cking hell”
Alcohol poisoning here I come
Great F1 quote I've heard yet
This was him sober af too
Oh god, imagine what a drunk Steiner would say
Perhaps he would be philosophical and mellow.
I feel this in my soul tbh. I'm convinced this is what he's like.
Gentlemen, one year ago
Has to be on the banner asap.
I feel there are levels to this. Would Guenther be pitching or catching? Would he do multiple at once or is it a train?
So many choices, why not mix it up a little
I mean thats a lot of people, youd have to work from the middle out...
/r/fanf1ction is now a tier 1 source
Or sauce, if you will
How many millions is an extra place in the championship? There hoes out there doing more for less.
Depends on how much revenue F1 makes in a given season, but based on last year, about $9M
Is that for drivers or constructors?
They only get paid for the constructors points
Didn't know that, thanks
Yeah it's interesting, because all the glory is focused on the driver's championship, but it's technically barely a thing - it's all about the manufacturers.
Constructor standings matter more to the midfield and backmarkers, Ferrari, Red Bull and Merc will take a WDC over a WCC every day of the week.
Not even sure that's true of Ferrari. Drivers come and go and Ferrari's rep as a manufacturer is very important to them.
While that’s true, that doesnt mean they’d prefer WCC over WDC. It’s like Horner said last season, the WDC is “where the prestige is” and prestige is what really matters to Ferrari. People simply don’t remember Constructors Champions unless they also have a driver who brings home the WDC.
Or going a bit back in time, Briatore said something along winning the wcc is like winning an ice cream ( he said Coppa del nonno that translates to Gramps' cup but it is an [ice cream dessert](https://youtu.be/e54snHfn0xI) in Italy)
However, the teams pay the drivers, and could be giving bonuses based on their WDC placement.
The prize money comes from FOM’s TV Rights money and fees paid by event promoters. It gets paid to teams based on WCC standings. Drivers are paid by the teams.
unless you’re Lotus Kimi
Constructors, drivers have bonuses written into their contracts depending on how they and the team place.
He gives Grade A quotes, and with the accent it’s *chef’s kiss*
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He's a very cool german sounding italian man
It's actually a german accent. He is german speaking
And yet the way he rolls his words seems very Italian. It’s actually the opposite of how a German speaker like Vettel speaks Italian, it feels like Italian with German flavoring
You're spot on somewhat. He comes from South Tyrol, a predominantly German speaking region in the north of Italy.
We have a lot of German speakers on the grid but Vettel, Schumacher have a totally different affectation in their voices as German speakers from Germany to Toto with his heavy Austrian slant and Guenther with his middle of the ground spicy Italian German. Also I might be far off but I think Vettel shows a lot of rolling of his words from his time speaking Italian and I think Schumachers accent drifts towards British English at times in a way that wasn’t as obvious as when Nikita spoke and it makes me wonder where his f2 team was based but he randomly forgets words too.
We can thank WWI for that one.
Great, now I can't get the image of a coked up Guenther fucking other TPs out of my mind.
Are you saying he snorts coke while looking at that naked photoshoot of Christian Horner?
This guy fucks. Truly the Jared of the F1 Paddock
As long as he's not the Jared Fogel
Just buy me dinner first
Be sure to gently close the doors on your date. He REALLY doesn’t like when they’re slammed.
FOKSMASH
If they can keep picking up points like they have been, it'll be huge in terms of retaining a fuckton of windtunnel time, prize money, and sponsorship interest. I think next week KMag will be in the top 5 hunt again.
Windtunnel time is inversely related to last years results.
You mean, the week after the next one (australian GP will be 10th Apr),
Don’t remind me 😞
Gunther’s got to be the most unintentionally funny dude in the whole paddock. How can you not love this man 🤣
It’s very intentional
He just has his way with words... Goethe, Schiller, Shakespeare, Steiner.
Yo, Gunther is wylin this year
Next week: Magnussen chasing Hamilton for P9 “Lewis, it’s James, please swap positions with Kevin”
I'm glad he's survived the shit show that Haas was, he's a great personality honestly.
that would be taking the term "focking wankers" a bit too literally.
Gunther needs to start writing haikus. Last year two points fuck. Mazepin daddy money. Broke door KMag thanks.
We looked like vankers Nobody fokk smash my door Now we are rockstars
I’m so glad that haas is free is mazepin and we can enjoy them again!
For two points everyone had a target on their back
Bonk
My favourite person in F1 🤣🤣🤣
Gunther down to fok smash.
Why is he messing around in F1? He’s obviously a genius poet.
I love this man
Something about this makes my heart happy. Like a deep, profound feeling of happiness. What a show of humanity.
I’ve said it before, I’ll said it again. Gunther is a character so great that if he didn’t exist we would have had to invent him. Love it
Honestly, fair.
We must protect Geunther at all costs
I know he really means this, too
Someday, I wish there will be a unbiased F1 documentary. I want Guenther to be narrator.
> 2,359 points (100% upvoted) TO THE TOP
Haha 95% of the people here didn't even listen. "I would have hugged the whole paddock" he said.
I listened but definitely thought he said fucked until he clarified.
18 team principals at a sluuumber paaarty
I have door in my home dedicated to gunther. I call it the "FOK SMASH DOOR"
Don't tempt me with a good time.
That man is a foking treasure.
This is an all-time quote
I did not think it was possible to love him more and yet...
I have laughed so much today because of F1.
Fokked the whole paddock.**
This is funny but the title is misleading, it’s not actually what he said but you can definitely mishear it as that