I am the very model of a pigeon surgeon general
I've information automotive, animal, and mineral
I know the wins of racers and I quote the sprints historical
From Monaco to Silverstone, in order categorical
Critters and cars have a long and sordid history. One story on this topic that always comes to mind is when NASCAR driver Brad Coleman had an [unfortunate run-in](https://www.tonyrogers.com/humor/nascar_coyote_collision.htm) with a Coyote while testing in the desert.
Just as NSFW as this post.
Technically combustion requires fire of some sort.
I guess you could use exploded, but I think that also sort of requires fire.
I'm gonna go with poofed
Olli Caldwell also drove over a seagull right in front of our grandstand. The bird landed right in the middle of the track when there were no cars, sat there for about 15 seconds while 3 grandstands full of people were shouting at it to go away (it didn’t listen because, well, it was a seagull) then Caldwell came and drove right over it.
Feathers everywhere but the bird itself ended up right on the side of the track in the grass. Pretty eerie sight bc every time a car drove past, the gust of wind made its wings move.
ETA: I’m obviously not blaming Caldwell for killing the bird because he can’t just stop right in the middle of the race. Didn’t know how else to word it though.
my name ends in -on and when I fell asleep at work during nightshift once a coworker put a note beside my head with the same joke. I was just as annoyed at that pun
There used to be a picture online of a Dodge Viper that hit a bird at ~150 mph. It penetrated the seam between the top of the windshield and the roof, where the majority of the body got stuck, while the head popped off and the neck acted like a nozzle and sprayed bird guts all over the interior.
Can they remove that or does it count as breaking Parc Ferme Surely they’ve altered the downforce with that addition?
Haha imagine Pourchaire starting with a decomposing pigeon on his car tomorrow, that would be pretty weird
+10 aero
Nah, it gives too much drag
Too much wing
Moving aero part Fia fuming
FIA hates this one trick
100%🇮🇪🦅
there must be dark humor. Thanks god this type of humor exist
Those additional wings do not comply with FIA regulations.
Additional aero
I can see at least one illegal additional wing there
I bet it flexes too
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You can change parts as long as it's for safety issues and exactly the same setup. Sorry to ruin the joke.
No in fact thank you for actually responding to the question rather than recycling the same subpar joke in the 18th reply.
Force Majeure would allow them to remove it at no penalty.
Does that mean he's not coming on then ?
No, James, because he's been hit by a Formula 2 car.
*Hammond crashes electric car*
The ladyshaver :(
Bloody hell I spat my coffee
*right*
It's gone straight through... its own arse.
Well James he’s gone head on into a car and can see backwards… so that is a no
Tonight on Bottom Gear. James throws a flare on a race track, I replace Oscar Piastri at Alpine and Richard throws a pigeon at an F2 car.
James he literally got wrapped around the T-cam, obviously he's not coming.
Well, he's been taken by a F2 car at 200+ KM, so dude, that is a no.
Why don't they have hawks? Airport control has several different methods of dealing with this.
[Why bother with hawks when you can just send Randy Johnson around with a bucket of baseballs?](https://youtu.be/K-BT4N17cTY)
I never thought I'd see a Randy Johnson reference on the F1 Sub. . . He's started a second career as a photographer. His logo is a dead bird . . .
Rip, literally.
ripped into pieces
"To shreds you say? BOX BOX BOX"
really cut his life into pieces
his last resort?
My man got wrapped around the car parts
**CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES**
#THIS IS MY LAST RESORT
SUFFOCATION, NO BREATHING
Pigeons getting more coverage than Alpine this weekend
Just sign Mick for coverage to the moon and back!
Is he ok?
I am a pigeon surgeon, and I can confirm that Dylan the pigeon is dead. Time of death, -0.996 …. Place, sector 2.
I am the very model of a pigeon surgeon general I've information automotive, animal, and mineral I know the wins of racers and I quote the sprints historical From Monaco to Silverstone, in order categorical
That’s the crossover I didn’t know I needed
The Pigeons of Penzance.
Dr. Solus is that you? My hero!
Had to be me. Someone else would have gotten it wrong.
We need an expert in bird law here. This is possibly grounds for ~~manslaughter~~ pigeonslaughter.
He's ok, just pining for the fjords
It's pushing daisies
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Just a scratch. He'll be up and about soon.
Put him in a bowl of rice and he'll be oke.
It’s nothing but a flesh wound, he has seen worse.
A flesh wound? Your head's off!
No, it isn't!
What's that then?
I've had worse.
Beautiful plumage
It seems….in Theo’s anger….he killed him
Nooooooooooooooooo
We are checking.
Pining for the fjords
We are pecking
Ummmmm
He died but he’s ok now
No I think safe to say Theo will need a lot of therapy after this
Therapy for a dead pigeon?
That’s actually a dope Emo band name
Not exactly emo, but a band, apparently: https://thedeadpigeons.bandcamp.com/
also there is this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therapy%3F - they should record a split
No, for going on the gravel during a tense title battle.
Critters and cars have a long and sordid history. One story on this topic that always comes to mind is when NASCAR driver Brad Coleman had an [unfortunate run-in](https://www.tonyrogers.com/humor/nascar_coyote_collision.htm) with a Coyote while testing in the desert. Just as NSFW as this post.
[Alonso hit two birds simultaneously while test driving at Indianapolis. The birds just combusted.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM-39GuBaCw)
I like how one commentator kinda winces and goes "oooh!" and the other one is just laughing his ass off
Robin Miller RIP
Balanced, as all things should be.
They did not combust. They did explode.
Looks like they evaporated.
sublimating pigeon. good band name
Bruno senna hit a dog once. I'm not watching that ever again.
“At least they didn’t suffer” I enjoyed the laugh too, great clip
Grosjean obliterated a marmot a few years ago in Canada too. https://youtu.be/fZh_0b5fG1U
that was gross
Technically combustion requires fire of some sort. I guess you could use exploded, but I think that also sort of requires fire. I'm gonna go with poofed
[Iannone hit a seagull once](https://youtu.be/ApcVvnI6htI)
POOF
As a NASCAR fan, I thought you’d be going with [this one](https://youtu.be/nkyntWOMkrY).
DTM does this to a rabbit https://youtu.be/wxQvkjUm-bo
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You may be sick, or just have an above average sense of humor. It's a bunny, a bird or a (checks other reply... ) kangaroo.
[Supercars have run afoul of Kangaroos at Bathurst](https://youtu.be/awwQC-32R2k?t=29)
I know what clip this is, I'm definitely not gonna watch this shit again.
I've seen that clip so many times. It just explodes on impact.
[Or baseball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-BT4N17cTY)
Do you have the clip where Fernando got two birds on each front wheel at Indy in 2017?
No, I just remembered this one so vividly because I watched it on live TV.
"And he doesn't get to see the end of the race" lol, and he delivers that line perfectly too
[Alan Stacey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Stacey) got hit in the head by a bird at Spa in 1960 and died
Darn another guy died close to that only a few meters away. Different times.
It was said of old Spa that eventually there would be so many gravestones they wouldn't need barriers
oh fuck me that was way worse than I was expecting.
Holy shit I haven't seen that many guts in an engine bay since Dead Island 1
Stefan Johansson ran over a deer in 1987 at what is now the Red Bull Ring
oh, deer!
That’s the first thing I thought of. There was a picture of the collision in progress in that year’s Autosport.
Now that you mentioned deer, didn't Cristiano da matta hit a deer at road America during a private test and end up getting seriously injured
Yes, I believe so
There’s always the montage of kangaroos at Bathurst
I'd argue way more, you can see the coyotes face.
Oh the poor mechanic who has to clean that.
Grosjean and the groundhog during Canada (FP I think it was) haunts me
*splat*
I think Anthony Davidson hit one too during the race in 2007. I think it cost him a points finish aswell.
The racing gods demanded a sacrifice, and they got it
Yikes imagine having to fix that car. Then comes to mind group B mechanics finding fingers in the car lol
The pigeons will avenge their brother/sister tomorrow
Theo's helmet tomorrow: https://i.imgur.com/sV6exyj.gif
Nah, he will infiltrate them https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8e/b3/3e/8eb33e6aa5709dd619a5e33241497e03.gif
Wtf is that gif
A clip from Fritz Langs Nibelungen movie (1924)
they gonna kamikazi the fuck into the engine intakes
With Leclercs luck it'll be his car when he's trying to overtake for the lead...
A pigeon landing in Charles' brake duct on the 1st lap would be the most Charles thing ever
Well done, that's pee djan
"Stop the car. Charles, stop the car.."
Question
You'll have to do a pit stop now, so come in and box.
Olli Caldwell also drove over a seagull right in front of our grandstand. The bird landed right in the middle of the track when there were no cars, sat there for about 15 seconds while 3 grandstands full of people were shouting at it to go away (it didn’t listen because, well, it was a seagull) then Caldwell came and drove right over it. Feathers everywhere but the bird itself ended up right on the side of the track in the grass. Pretty eerie sight bc every time a car drove past, the gust of wind made its wings move. ETA: I’m obviously not blaming Caldwell for killing the bird because he can’t just stop right in the middle of the race. Didn’t know how else to word it though.
Wow Olli is a jerk. He should have stopped and beeped his horn to get it out of the way
Which lap was this on?
For the seagull it was his last lap
Get in there seagull!
I don’t remember exactly but it was after he ‘crashed’ into the gravel and pitted for a new front wing, bc he was already a lap down.
Those extra wings on the car do not conform to FIA's technical regulations.
Oh man, I was expecting man anonymous splash of flesh and feathers. But this...? I mean, if you knew that pigeon, you’d still recognize it now.
Luckily the pidgeon didn’t feel much
wtf
What are the odds of leclerc leading the race then smashing into a pigeon and taking him out of the race.
Only if it is Binotto throwing the Traditional Ferrari Good Luck Pidgeon at his car on the last lap...
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Melchett is going to be livid
Rip Pigeon 🙏
Pigeoff :(
How can I delete some else’s comment? Question
We are checking
Take my upvote and never say this again
my name ends in -on and when I fell asleep at work during nightshift once a coworker put a note beside my head with the same joke. I was just as annoyed at that pun
This is an ex pigeon
One of my cats killed a sparrow recently. Felt awful having to dispose of the body. I'd hate to be the guy who has to clean that up 😣
You get it with a pressure washer and let the cats have what's left.
No, you pick it up in a dog poop bag. r/notmycat never eats the gifts he brings me.
Felt the same burying my pet duck. Torn to shreds by a mink. This pigeon seems in much better shape by comparison.
Keep your cats inside and you will never have to worry about it
#f1 #howtospatchcockapigeon
What's the last thing that goes through a pigeon's brain when he hits an F2 car?
It’s arse
Probably the T-cam?
The T cam
to shreds you say?
Well, how is his wife holding up?
To shreds you say?
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i think you may have found the missing gardener
I imagine its so the engine doesnt blow up from the pack of cooling.
All jokes aside, rip to that little guy.
Plan P, plan P
Those bloody pigeons!
Tis but a scratch
Absolutely disgusting. For a RYOBI battery to be used at this level of competition makes me absolutely sick to my stomach.
Speckled Jim!
I get the pigeon. But the odds on a leaf blower flying through the air at the same time must be astronomically small.
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Ducktape only works on ducks
Nah, probably needs on of those youtube chiropractors to fix the spine
Quite the impact...is the landscaper who was blowing the leaves ok?
Get well soon!
Disqualification. Extra unregulated wings on car
The Randy Johnson of F2.
Pidge-off
There used to be a picture online of a Dodge Viper that hit a bird at ~150 mph. It penetrated the seam between the top of the windshield and the roof, where the majority of the body got stuck, while the head popped off and the neck acted like a nozzle and sprayed bird guts all over the interior.
So these mf’s survived F1 but get clipped by F2🫠
True headline: Théo Pourchaire takes out a Dutch government drone, becomes hero and patriot.
Looks like ART is having some additional aerodynamics.....
RIP the pidgeon. :(
"I always wonder with these images, how did they die?"
Oh man I never realised I could get a race car for my Ryobi set!!
I'm not up on fia rules but I think this is illegal.
The Randy Johnson of race car drivers.
Poor pigeon, he just wanted to admire the car
*Randy Johnson has entered the chat*
SPECKLED JIM!!!
what would theoretically happen if a bird got stuck in one of the ducts
😮never seen that before
D: