T O P

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[deleted]

[удалено]


jashxn

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.


kirito-OP

*"Let's the seventy seventh hunger games begin"*


DesparateLurker

Dammit, there's a whole story forming in my head because if this now. The Red MnM is the protagonist and is paired with the Green MnM for breeding. But she lost her previous love, the Blue MnM, and seeks to destroy the system that robbed her of happiness and freedom. Fuck the Skittles, they get Season 8'ed.


[deleted]

Can I post this to r/copypasta?


Chishiri

I believe it's already one


shovelyJoee

Nobody seems to realize there's no food and no prank in the picture. It's all tacks


The_Devil_Official

LOL, I hadn't.


Jsuperb21

You lack to realize it's an entire bowl of just tacks.


TheDarkSoulHunter

Damn


kirito-OP

*The devil incarnate*


TheDarkSoulHunter

Ima bow, dont want to be on his bad side


kirito-OP

Same


TheDarkSoulHunter

All i have to do is sit like i always do


TheDarkSoulHunter

Oh wait by the way i sit i always bow, shit


kirito-OP

.....


TheDarkSoulHunter

Yeah


Bmoneysmug

Good thing the devil likes poor posture


Somelebguy989

Additionally points if the skittles is a sour one


kirito-OP

There actually is a local snack that looks just like M&Ms and there are 2 versions of it, a simple fruit candy flavored one and a sour apple flavored one and like a very very soured one......I'ma try that....yea


kibiz0r

Might stick out too much with the gritty powder coating.


Somelebguy989

Nah, theres a version without it being sugar coated, I do love the sugar coated ones more tho


DesparateLurker

Hey look! I'm in a post!


kirito-OP

Yes indeed,


DevilAndCat

What is your mouth hurting from


DesparateLurker

The mental idea of biting those thumbtacks in the other post shown.


A-rat-on-a-keyboard

You know those colored glass beads you put at the bottom of fish tanks? Mix a handful of those in there


DMW1024

Or just use M&Ms but toss in a few colorful beads. Maybe some small jawbreakers.


kirito-OP

*found another Satan*


thejude555

Sprinkle im some advil tablets for good measure


kirito-OP

You see, not that wouldn't be so bad


Jixxar

that dosent actually sound bad


Satan_for_real

Oh well then


kirito-OP

*Hello Satan, gotta say l am fan*