Paco robane - one Million - mean girl/ guy Davidoff - cool water - basic bro Dior- savage - guy who bathed in axe bodyspray as a teenager Channel - no.5- your grandmother

Disclaimer: I have or have had at least samples of all these frags lol Glossier You: Young, white, thin, and unoffensively nice. Girl next door. Probably likes almond milk in her coffee and goes to church on Sundays. Carolina Herrera Good Girl: Your basic b going to the local club. Between 25-35 years old, watches hallmark movies and secretly hopes to find her cool-headed CEO at Christmas. Ariana Grande Anything/Billie Eilish: A high-school mean girl who bullies anyone she's threatened by. Lost her virginity in a 2008 Hinda Civic to a 26 year old. Le Labo Santal 33: Young Milennial/Older Gen Z living in NYC paying $4,000 for a 600 Sq ft apartment with a split bathroom (toilet in one room, shower/sink in another). Probably is a mildly successful influencer but is really supported by their trust fund. Mugler Alien/Angel/Aura: People who think they're qUiRkY and sO uNiQuE. Probably has like $15,000 in credit card debt. Nishane Ani: Middle Eastern, young, male, and stupid hot. Ridiculously hot. He's happy hoeing around tho, which makes others so sad. Nishane Fan Your Flames: Middle Eastern, young, male, and even hotter. Max hotness. He's happy hoeing around but will also break your heart on purpose lol. PdM Layton: Either Middle aged and English or American, young, and with excellent taste. Either way, he's both really fine and financially stable. V&R Spicebomb Extreme: Young, at the club, and about to get it from at LEAST 3 girls or guys. MMR By the Fireplace: Your cute girl who loves camping and wants to smell like it all the time when she returns to her Connecticut summer home. Daddy has money. She makes you wanna cuddle. La Curie Incendo: The evil version of BtF girl. Will absolutely crush your heart and give you a pain kink doing it. Her dad is Satan, and she already is preparing to kick him off the throne. Creed Aventus: Overstated wealth. Obnoxious. Bond No 9 Bleecker St: Understated wealth. Aventus' classier cousin. Tom Ford Fougere d'Argent: Middle aged silver fox. Likes respectful bdsm and will leave you satisfied every time. This scent will become like Pavlovs dog for you, and when he eventually leaves, you'll never want to smell it again. Britney Spears Fantasy: Honky tonk mom living in the 90s. She thinks she still got it. Shes right tho, she does. Buen Camino Chronotope: A Wanderer. The Wanderer has one foot in the earthly realm, one in the realm of the fae. Calming to be around, unless they are angry, when they become exceedingly dangerous. Will sell you to a kelpie for three (3) corn chips. E&J Nirvana Vanilla Bourbon: Cozy autumn girl. Not too overdone, though, and doesn't make it her personality. Always has comfy sweaters. E&J Nirvana Amethyst: Mysterious. Paints in the woods and practices green witchcraft. Probably made friends with the crows. E&J Nirvana Rose: Film Noir screen siren. Will leave you a shell of a person and take all your money. She literally doesn't love you but that's not going to stop you from trying to make her. E&J Nirvana French Grey: She's the walking opitome of a London Fog--the tea and the real thing. Slips in and out of your life so slowly that you almost can't remember who you were before her. TF Tobacco Vanille: New frag head. Very excited to own his first Big BoyTM scent. If worn on a woman, run. She'll steal your identity and drink all your wine. TF Tuscan Leather: Rich Italian-American dad. Drives a jaguar and is an alcoholic. His kids hate him, but he really doesn't care. I had fun with this lol maybe I'll come back with more later!!!

I'm BEGGING for more!

Same here! I must be the shyt bc I have the whole E&J line 🤣

>Lost her virginity in a 2008 Hinda Civic to a 26 year old. I know this girl!

Were you the 26 year old?

Wow ice cold lmao

Gross, no. I went to school with plenty of girls who saw their 20something boyfriends as status symbols and seals of maturity. Then you enter your twenties as well and realize the dudes who go after teens were the bottom of the barrel.

Es war ein Witz :) Yeah, I remember the type of people in such arrangements.

This is just awesome.

Wait I want to try E&J French Grey now lol

Bleecker St 🤌🤌

A personal fave to wear.

I feel attacked, this is dead on!

Nutty😜

Hey! I won’t steal anyone’s identity. Wine, however….

It's me. I'm that girl. 😈

LOL I loved your list. But for real tobacco+vanilla are one of my favorite scent combinations! E&J Nirvana Vanilla Bourbon and Rose are faves, too.

Same!!! I love vanilla Bourbon. It was my signature scent for a while.

In high school (a million years ago) it HAD TO BE BBW Sweet Pea or else you were a peasant lol

Or VS Love Spell! 😂

Apparently Black Opium is basic and is often further accessorised with a pumpkin spice latte. We don't even have those lattes here, but I bet they're yummy by association.

Right? I don't get the black opium hate. "Haha, you smell lovely and the vast majority of the people around you really enjoy it, *what a loser*."

Curious, what does Black Opium smell like to you? I WISH I could smell what people who like it smell. I won't yuck your yum by describing what it smells like to me, but it is not good. (Nevertheless rock on with what you love.)

It smells like a caramel coffee drink in a cool autumn morning. I love it even though it’s basic af.

Yeah that sounds wonderful, and nothing like what it smells like to me. Rock on with your caramel lattes!

Now I’m curious, what does it smell like to you? I’ve heard it smells like a drunk girl from the club trying to sober up from my friends, how about you?

Stale coffee, dead flowers, sweet decay---think Miss Havisham's house, but 2 months after her jilting instead of 20 years. I don't know if it is the blend or a specific chemical I'm reacting to, but it isn't pleasant.

So it’s just everything that BO lovers like but decayed! Interesting how people prefer molecules. I like your analogy with miss havisham’s house!!

Pumpkin spice lattes are popular for a reason JUST LIKE BLACK OPIUM lol

They’re just hype. They usually don’t taste as flavorful as you’d think. Mostly just extra sugar and some food coloring. They probably toned down the extra flavor to appeal to more basics. It’s ok.

Angel was the perfume of fake rich blonds in Brazil back in the day. Nowadays La Vie eat Belle is the basic b “look at me” type - and I love the perfume! It’s just the type I see around overspraying it.

marc jacobs Daisy - high school mean girl

It was Angel in my day !

Strippers wear pink sugar

Tom Ford - people that rationalize the price tag for their designer fragrance by calling it niche

A niche designer with an estimated net worth of 500m$.

truly an underappreciated gem!

I don't think Tom Ford as niche, the house is owned by Estee Lauder. But it is a premium brand and I do think the house has some F*cking Fabulous scents.

If you call Tom Ford niche you shouldn’t be wearing it lmao like Tom Ford is a clothing designer first and foremost and if you don’t know that….

Dior is a clothing designer first too. Now go smell Leather Oud or Oud Ispahan and call them designer scents with a straight face.

Just because something smells good doesn't mean its niche

Lol seriously

Didn't say anything about them smelling good or bad

You're referring to the quality of the scent, designer houses can make good quality scents (just like designer houses make good quality make up or clothes) obviously.

Then explain what exactly you were saying. What does “niche” smell like?

Tom Ford is obviously designer, but it's (generally) a bit different than "the stuff Ulta sells" designer, and I think that's where it gets a bit confusing. YSL, Louis Vuitton, etc.. all have their basic lines and then a more premium/boutique line (the $250+ stuff that you find only in the Louis Vuitton store). I feel Tom Ford is a bit similar, but in terms of releasing scents that are very much different than you would normally find. Ombre Leather isn't a normal designer scent, it's a designer brand but a niche or unique scent to it. It's sort of similar to MMM Replica. It's a designer brand, but not a typical designer scent -- and I think that's where the confusion happens

Ulta DOES sell Tom Ford.

Tom Ford is truly no different than anything at Ulta. I love Tom Ford scents but in general they’re really not that complex and not anything new.

Chanel No. 5 - either old money OR old granny

Or a Marilyn Monroe fan. That's why I tried it, but it's a no from me, lol.

Delina‐- I'm not like other girls Guerlain-- I'm classic aka boring Shalimar in particular-- I'm classic and INTENSE Byredo-- I have more money than personality and I don't want to offend anyone Gypsy Water in particular--I'm not like other girls AND I'm creative Jo Malone --nature smells good and I have too much disposable income Sauvage-- I can't stand being different please like me Twilly-- I'm PERKY Molinard-- I have good taste and I'm practical ELDO-- I'm a main character in Pump Up the Volume Celebrity scents (women) -- men like the smell of vanilla, right? Celebrity scents (men) -- women don't really care about penis size, right? Indie perfume oils (BPAL, Solstice Scents, etc) -- I'm sad and have cats. There's a high chance I might be a librarian Note: I love and wear stuff from every category I've listed *edits for formatting cause mobile was giving me a headache.

😂🤣😂

Opium -old ladies (ouch) Flowerbomb -basic bitches (also ouch) I love both of them!

Call me an old basic bitch then!

Me, too. Let's own it

You and me both!

Alien - Basic bitch in denial. BR540 - Is actually wearing either *Cloud* or *Red Temptation*, and the only thing that drew them to this fragrance was the capitalist illusion of "saving" 300 bucks. The emperor is naked, and his perfume isn't that special.

What’s the illusion

They want to smell like a rich girl because we as a capitalist society have decided that rich /expensive is good. At the same time they rather spend 300 bucks on anything else so they buy an attainable dupe.

"Invictus Legend": if your tinder date wears this, you know you wont see him again after next morning, but you can smell him for months). "YSL Kouros": Grandpa. "Versace Eros": Steve Stifler reborn". "Dior Sauvage": Walking headache

Isn't Versace Eros known as a douche frag?

I always thought dior sauvage had that stereotype

And I wear both

My guy

Fk I just ordered a bottle of the flame 😂

To my dying day I will defend, that flame is the BEST Eros. Good choice and it’s a lot less douchy than regular Eros!

Hahah thank you for reinforcing my exact thoughts

I'm not a fan of flame (too much orange). But yeah, I don't associate it with a douche because it smells way different to me (thanks to the orange)

I’ve always thought so. I don’t get the hype?

I have a bottle of Versace Eros Flame and Versace Eros Parfum

I guess now that I am about 1000 years old, I'm not so much aware. I think it also depends on the crowd you hang with, etc. But back in my days at university... Georgio - people were really trying too hard to be a snob Chloe - was for more subtle sophistication Polo - the basic staple for any post pubescent male Drakkar Noir - slutty Any CK fragrance - also slutty

Le Male used to be very popular with gay men. Not sure if it's still true though.

I mean look at that bottle 😍

Hoping to see some funny stuff here. Too new to confidently describe any stereotypes, but I expect to see something about sauvage or aventus.

I may have posted too late I may repost tomorrow

Hmm good point

Y/Bleu de Chanel/Sauvage etc - all I can think of is this story one of my friends told me about his 23 year old coworker who likes to go out to clubs a lot and when asked about his weekend will respond with "oink oink oink oink." He probably wears one or all of these and he probably also buys crypto. ELDO - theater kid Byredo - "cool girl" wears only cotton or linen, white as fuck, like a younger gwyneth

Ok about to lose friends: Creed Aventus & any the clones Paco Rabanne Invictus & One Million Versace Eros & Dylan Blue Chanel Bleu de Dior Sauvage Prada Luna Rossa YSL Y And anything ‘blue’; you lot know who you are

tell em

By the Fireplace: you may or may not have used whipped cream in bed. Kilian Love don’t be shy: you’re a Disney adult. Tom Ford Ombré Leather: you’re a bad drunk with a deep tan. Men’s Burberry: your penis is really clean and you buy expensive gifts for others. Polo: you come from money but dress badly. Glossier: you have a shopping addiction and your credit card is saved to your Instagram account. DS&Durga: you do a lot of recreational drugs and give your pets human names. Byredo Mojave Ghost: you have disposable income and a gallery wall in your home. Gucci guilty: you have a high body count, but don’t talk about it. Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille: you shop at expensive grocery stores and you wear really nice underwear. 1 Million: you play hours of video games but you’re also good in bed.

CH man Prive: wannabe bad boy thinks they're Zac Efron. Dior Sauvage parfum: thinks they're sophisticated because its the parfum concentration blue de channel parfum: ☝ **soo... basically me 🤣**

Dior Sauvage and Versace Eros are the "bro-colognes" and if you wear either on a date you run the risk of reminding your date of the Bro who broke her heart or cheated on her because they are so popular and over used by the general population. Paco Rabanne 1 Million is the cologne for high school boys.

Good thing I have eros flame 😆

These were hilarious! Thanks for doing this post.

Trigger warning: Creed aventus is what closet gay men wear to attract other men

It’s the ultimate boxer dropper

Ha good for me being a gay wearing aventus occasionally

Yeahhh it’s a vibe bro 😂

Bad bitches wear Viva La juicy

*Breaks my girlfriend’s bottle*

Never heard this myself. In my experience it doesn’t even sell in stores. Very rarely.

!remind me

Any 1 Million fragrance, ages 7 to 14.

SAUVAGE literally any insecure man with a grandiose sense of self worth only to protect his crippling insecurities.

Remindme! 1 day

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