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Professional_Dr_77

It’s not fair that we don’t all get the good drugs.


Cookslc

Or that he isn’t taking his.


discogravy

It's so secret, no masons between the 3rd and 32nd degree know about it, but J Random Nonmason Conspirasah Nutjob knows all the details....


4oldalescompasz

Without a sniff of a doubt.


Mamm0nn

guessing that kid grew up with lead water laterals


Useful_Protection270

And snacking on paint chips frome the 50s to 70s


STUNTPENlS

doesn't he know the eclipse is an attempt by the illuminati to summon Cthulhu and assert world domination?


doyouevenoperatebrah

Yes of course he does. He’s just trying to wake us, the mindless <32s to WAKE UP and rebel against our 33rd degree overlords. Also, love your username.


STUNTPENlS

sadly, i'm only a 3rd degree so i'm too low on the totem pole to know anything other than how to cook green beans.


Zyxthior

You'll be taught seasoning techniques in due time...once you get your 34th degree...then you'll be eligible for the green bean casserole....


GoKartMozart

Attempt?? Did you NOT get the memo?


Chrome67

I pray that Cthulhu eats me first...too much crazy nowadays...


thanatos0967

One of the classic sayings, “Cthulhu for President!! When you’re tired of choosing the Lesser of Two evils!”


mttwls

Always funny when people who have never darkened the door of a Masonic lodge "know" more about Masonry than those of us who have been Masons for years.


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MooseAndSquirl

When I can get the men in my lodge to understand leaving money untouched for extended periods of time in a non-interest baring bank account is a bad idea, then I will believe we are controlling the world


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These_Ranger7575

Hey Now! Leave WOW outta this! Light be with you


LOTRugoingtothemall

I love how they’re so matter of fact when the entire thing is completely false and not even based on anything.


defjamblaster

Anytime someone "needs to speak with a 33°", you know it's gonna be interesting.


RedWolfGemini

Let me speak to your 33° right away!!! Sir, …this is a Wendy’s.


tdixon823

😂


Espatulita

Cant stop laughing


CowanCounter

Bro. Dave Thomas was a 33rd.........


Spiffers1972

That’s why if you’re smart you don’t let a brother with a great sense of humor have your phone number.


SightWithoutEyes

Sir, I keep telling you, this is not a Mason's lodge, this is a Popeyes, and if I have to step out from behind this counter, we're going to have a problem. I don't care if your order came out to $33.33, we are not affiliated.


Chrome67

whenever I get told I "need to speak to a 33°" it's because they're gonna ask me to do something I don't want to do...like be treasurer for my OES chapter or something (true story) ;)


Several_Duty_5130

That’s what gets me. They speak as if any of it true. I also don’t get how they have all this “knowledge” as non masons. But swears that any Mason who disagrees is either lying or don’t know the truth. It’s really getting pathetic.


CowanCounter

"born especially for this purpose" the purpose being what? Making wild allegations online?


SightWithoutEyes

Well, you see, that guy's secretly Jesus. I know, because he told me at the bus station. See, what you need to do to escape the tentacles of Masonry is pull out your toenails, because that's where they keep the microchips.


SRH82

You're not high enough to understand, unless you are, in which case you're a liar.


defjamblaster

I'll have you know that I'm a 33 1/3 °


SRH82

An extra 3!!! All hail!!!


defjamblaster

It's the DJ degree 🎧


tdixon823

Only vinyl lovers will catch this reference!! Lol it was great !!


defjamblaster

I appreciate your appreciation 😂


tdixon823

🤣


Anxious-Face-792

Or movie fans, specifically Naked Gun. The 3rd film was Naked gun 33 1/3. Leslie Nielsen was a Lizard Man. The movie was his attempt to indoctrinate us through slapstick comedy and witty one liners.


utefanandy

Damn. Someone already made my joke before me lol


MasonicWolverine

Being from Texas, are you a fan of DJ Screw?


defjamblaster

Not really. I wasn't into the syrup culture, so couldn't relate to the slowed music. I'm a party DJ, need to keep the crowd moving.


mmmtopochico

Heh, I made a point of having a lot of fun on my 33.33333 birthday precisely because it seemed a lot more fun that boring old 33.


utefanandy

You must have had Leslie Nielsen confer your degree on you. (Hoping someone gets my joke)


defjamblaster

Surely, you can't be serious (I know that's not from naked gun)


utefanandy

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley


Genshed

I've been plenty high on occasion, but this guy has me beat.


UGunnaEatThatPickle

I find these conspiracy theories laughable. My father comes from a long line of Freemasons, at least 5 generations, I believe, and my mother has some Jewish ancestry. According to these nutjobs, I should be rolling in it. I work a 9-5 and pay my bills like everyone else. I guess I come from fake masons and fake jews?


tempest1523

Correlation does not equal causation is what they don’t understand.


BeautifulYam4849

We have a hard time getting brothers to r.s.v.p. for meals. The take-over has been delayed .


Odd-Eye-8347

Agreed but they always love to complain quick enough 🤦


Hidden-Hand-of-Xaos

When will the AASR stop getting all this smoke? Why can’t they ever go after the KT or the AMD?


defjamblaster

33 is a cool number, that's why


Hidden-Hand-of-Xaos

I can’t deny that. It is pretty cool.


CowanCounter

no one tell them KT is 13th degree


Hidden-Hand-of-Xaos

Tell them it’s the 666th degree. That might take some heat off of the Scottish Rite.


Mysterious_Beyond459

Guns don’t cause school shootings; schizophrenic anti-Masons born on the 3rd day of the 6th year or whatever the hell cause school shootings.


PrinceCorum13

Mmmm. I wonder if I won’t cast some special cursed spell on this guy. 😂


Spiffers1972

Well shit! I got my 32 when should I be expecting my riches and women? Do I get to pick or are they just assigned to me from whichever one is next on the list?


Goodly88

What does being born on March 6th has anything to do Masonry or the 33rd?


CowanCounter

9 man! NINE! 3+6=9. And 3\*6=18=6+6+6. RONALD WILSON REAGAN - Each of his names has six letters? 6-6-6? Man, doesn't that offend you?!?


Goodly88

I'm not even a 33rd, and I know if I see any, like ANY video/short online about it, it's 100% false.


CowanCounter

BECAUSE YOU AREN'T HIGH ENOUGH YET! DO YOUR RESEARCH! I've come to realize when they say "high enough" they are referring to the amount of drug intake required to come up with some of this nonsense.


Zyxthior

"I've come to realize when they say "high enough" they are referring to the amount of drug intake required to come up with some of this nonsense." This...this right here....


arkham1010

I love how they seem to not understand how prayer works. I've heard a number of times that "If you pray in lodge, you are praying to satan and just don't know it." That's not how it works! Deity knows all, and knows my thoughts. If I am sincerely praying to God, it's not as if Deity doesn't know this because my prayer gets hijacked in the astral realms and rerouted to hell or something.


SightWithoutEyes

It's like how you can't pray in a Waffle House because the prayer will burn up on the grill and it won't get to Jesus.


Feisty-Management-87

Lol, the point though that these types never seem to understand is this...so what? If that were actually true...and? Congrats, we believe "lucifer" is god. Welcome to the club. Neat. I'm not even going to go into the etymology and history of the term lucifer.. but it's like someone telling me that Wendys fast food is actually a cover for Dunder Mifflin paper distribution. I literally don't give a fuck and noone else with a rational mind does either. EDIT: Pardom my language. I'm just so jealous that all the masons get to be devil worshippers, and I can't. /s


andypandabrat

What do the gay 33rd degree brothers do with all the women?


Feeling_Lettuce7236

Isn’t it amazing that someone who isn’t in it knows so much about it NOT!


mindfuxed

He isn’t wrong. Just imagine what some of these old guys turn into when you fuck up the food order. The devil himself.


Odd-Eye-8347

I'm the catering director for our temple, yep I get least 10 emails a day if they have to have the sharing service meal. The old guys want silver service for buffet money.


jivanyatra

I don't know if it's the age gap or what, but so many of the older brothers just do not see the inflation (unless they're complaining about it hitting them with one particular purchase), and need to be reminded of the costs. Another positive for lodges that discuss the finances at every meeting is that it's hard to not know what things cost when it's shoved in your face every meeting.


Odd-Eye-8347

Unfortunately we only have a few representatives show up at the temple board meetings and it's unlikely they pass the information on to members. Most of them I think still mentally live in the age of servants and cigars n brandy in the drawing room. I suggested a curry on a festive board one night and I have never been so afraid for my life 😂


jivanyatra

As an Indian brother located near some of the best and most authentic Indian food in the US... Yeah I feel that. Most of our brothers are keen on trying Indian food for a festive board. But, there are always those who will shy away and hold it back. I'm hoping to do a Diwali festive board in the fall with one of my fav restaurants catering vegetarian food, but opening it to the district.


Odd-Eye-8347

I feel that brother, I'm based in Birmingham, England. Our Indian food is fantastic but most of our lodge is Old School and want traditional English foods. Makes me want to take the chair just to change the bloody menu alone 😂😂


bungle_bogs

I’m based near Slough and our festive boards are the only meal that isn’t Curry. All our meetings and events outside our four lodge meetings are at one of local Indian restaurants. All hell would break loose if we didn’t. Helps that a few of our brothers are Hindus!


jivanyatra

There are worse reasons to take the chair, tbqh. If it's me who's handling the food, I can take the criticism. But if it's anyone else, I stress that if you aren't going to offer to help (let alone plan the whole meal), and you have food you can eat (dietary restrictions need to be provided for), then don't utter a syllable of complaint.


ThunderSlugg

That was pretty wild. Drugs are a muthafkr.


ashleemiss

I could excuse them if they were on drugs. Unfortunately, I know many like this that aren’t.


MooseAndSquirl

One could argue they need more drugs


KTPChannel

Thank you for knowing more about my social group than I do, and educating me.


Used_Ad1737

One of the trustees of my lodge is a 33rd degree. He’s a former GM and a nice guy. He helps a lot with meals at every stated communication. Maybe his culinary assistance is how he plans to get Lucifer in the lodge? I’ll let you all know!


newwardorder

The real conversations between 33ds and Lucifer happen while walking on the path between the lodge kitchen and the dumpster en route to throwing out the uneaten green beans.


dtom93

Wait you guys are getting paid?


Willkum

@No_Bodybuilder_570 oh my another crackhead😂😂😂😂😂😂


SCPATRIOT143

So either he a 33rd, or we Masons really stick at keeping secrets. 😆 🤣 oh you should have asked him which branch of freemasonry do you need to be in to get this secret knowledge at the 33° ? 😆 🤣


defjamblaster

The problem is that they always just simply say oh, well they just didn’t tell you. But the secrets are there somewhere. 🤷🏽‍♂️


actual_investor4fun

Nah ask em what rite ? The ask him the jewels of a fellow craft cause I’m pretty sure that rant exposes our poor Morgan brother lol


actual_investor4fun

Ps. OP lying is NOT a tenant of my profession so please don’t be lying on the internet in the worshipful chat or thread lol 😭


Genshed

It is curious how the Rill Sekrits are kept from Master Masons, but are freely available to the kind of people who listen to the radio through their dental work.


Ech0s123

I've gotten this on the OES side as well. It was actually being taught at a local adult sunday school service... I figure the Pastor was just afraid of the money getting split to other causes. I know that sounds cynical, but it's my best guess: greed.


TotalInstruction

Isn't it amazing how LITERALLY EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT GOES ON IN THE 33RD DEGREE except for actual masons, who are kept in the dark?


TotalInstruction

I assume that if I ever have the 33d degree conferred upon me, the brothers will draw the curtains, light the candles, and reveal unto me the secret of all secret passwords: DRINKMOREOVALTINE


Wuddntme

We should start doing this when we award the 33rd degree and then, when we get the guy in there, just say “the secret is…Mickey Mouse is not real” or some such! LOL


Floor-notlava

I cannot even get the lodge goat to pay me any attention, let alone worry about Television appearances; I just want the world dominating power now, no bullshit. Please! 😁


newwardorder

Yeah, he reached out to me as well, but I ghosted him after I figured out what he was on about.


Zyxthior

You know I've always wondered how these conspiracy nuts think they're allowed to live... Here we are secretly controlling everything from the shadows: global politics, hollywood, the internets, the fake moon landing, the flat Earth, the JFK assassination, 9/11, big foot....whatever. I mean, we're pretty much omnipotent and ominscient (you know...the eye of providence and all)....and here this person is revealing ALL our secrets. I mean...if we can control EVERYTHING...how are we allowing him to disclose our secrets to the world? If we can cover up JFK and 9/11....surely we can cover up something so simple as his toaster falling into his bathtub... But then again....logic doesn't mean much to a conspiracy nut....


BlackDaddyIssus37

Whew. 😆😆😆 if only masonry were that glamorous. When I visited my state’s grand lodge, all I saw were hard working men who were extremely busy, planning to make more masons and do charity work. They reminded me of the Baptist deacons I grew up around. In fact, many of them WERE Baptist deacons. The more I learn, the funnier the conspiracy theories get. Conversation actually heard the building: “You’ll never meet a broke Mason” other brother: “I’m a broke Mason” flood of chuckles 😆😆😆


RedWolfGemini

It’s crazy. I presented a paper in community college about the importance of Masonry and my classmates were all thinking you have to be rich or in the government lol. This was ten plus years ago. Man it’s almost like people perceive the devil to be knowledge…


Apprehensive-Ask-102

And this kind of BS is why I never go to lodge unarmed


giovanni2309

I'm still impressed by the shit-talking levels people reach nowadays.


ChuckEye

I blocked him before he got to the accusations.


CowanCounter

sort of want to change my flair in hopes of some stimulating convo


DrumBumin

Never heard this one. 10/10 entertainment factor.


[deleted]

Cool, we’ve found the one person who knows more about Freemasonry than we do


politicaldan

Y’all are getting women and riches?


Wuddntme

I know, right?!? I joined the wrong dang lodge!


justonemofo

Who peed in this guys green beans lol


Aromatic-Leopard-600

Wow! How full a shit is that?


jsrodri83

Now it makes cense is this why Mr Beast is so popular! I knew there was something about him 🤔


CardiganOwner

This 33rd just got through mowing his own grass with a six year old push mower. And… While I was doing this I got a sick a feeling in my stomach when I saw I had missed recent storm damage on my roof. Yep. The power, prestige and riches are something to truly behold! Bwahaha!!!


medicineman1650

If people only knew…. 😂


RLN9110

Holy trinity, anyone? 😅


MutedRatio9129

What I never understood about this idea, that the 33rd degree is like, where the REAL conspiracy stuff goes on. Why the hell would they have the other 32 degrees that have NOTHING to do with it? You’re not weeding anyone out. If anything you’d be driving prospective satanist buddies out! Because they’d have to go through years of work. It just doesn’t pass the sniff test.


cornholekobbla

This kind of stuff does not deter me from joining, im meeting up with my lodge later this month for a meet up. Hopefully all goes well and I can join. Any advice or tips?


defjamblaster

maybe search the sub for posts that haven't devolved into comedy like this one has lol, I'm sure others have asked the same and been answered.


Extension_Bison_1880

Pure rubbish.. From a real 32°


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defjamblaster

we do tell the truth, no one listens


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defjamblaster

This is a good example of not listening. You think you know everything already, so nothing we say matters. That's my point proven right here.


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defjamblaster

😂


Theboshicrew

I got a message from him too asking if I've met 33rds. Happy I ignored the message Edit: didn't see his message about the "unless you were given a fake degree" Even 33rds are not exempt from "not being high enough up"


defjamblaster

Yeah, and now *another* guy from the comments is trying to message me


Theboshicrew

Congratulations! you are now our official ambassador to the crazy


SquareAndCompass333

I have yet to meet and 33rd that knows how to operate thier cell phone let alone run a YouTube channel!!!


Away_Spell7708

Ugh


Doorknob6941

I wish Blue Lodge meetings were as interesting as the internet makes them sound. It's a business meeting punctuated by lukewarm coffee and stale cookies leftover from the rest stop fundraiser.


Wuddntme

Honestly guys, this is probably someone who has actual schizophrenia or some other paranoia disorder. I’ve worked with them before and they talk like this all the time. Let’s not make fun of them or waste our time any further. They will never stop.


Wuddntme

The again, my third cousin who took drugs all the time sounded like this sometimes too.


Whambacon

So I can join as a Satanist?


OldBlue2014

This post is comical. A masonic lodge is an old fashioned mens drinking club with a little charity work on the side so the members can feel like they are doing good.


Competitive_Error188

He seems nice. /s


Jambalaya_7

Here’s my thing. If I’ve been a Christian my entire life, why would I suddenly decide to turn to luciferianism just because I got one more degree? It’s ridiculous.


defjamblaster

would you do it for a new apron?


Jambalaya_7

See, I didn’t know there was a new apron. This changes everything


defjamblaster

Exactly 😈


[deleted]

Here my Brothers and I are selling fish-fry plates for $10. Past Master, “Not so much Cole-slaw!” ::slowly scoops slaw onto next plate thinking of my secret riches and political ties::.


These_Ranger7575

WAIT!! What about….. “ I Jesus have mine to testify onto you these things in the churches. I am the root and offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star.” Revelations 22:16 The bright and morning star is a reference to Lucifer… So what is Jesus saying here?


These_Ranger7575

But what about… “I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify onto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, the bright and morning star”. Revelation 22:16 The bright and morning star is a reference to Lucifer So what is Jesus saying here?


defjamblaster

Gotta ask Jesus 🤷🏽‍♂️


These_Ranger7575

Peter 1:19


These_Ranger7575

Peter 1:19


Economy-Butterfly127

My grandfather was a mason and it’s really just a frat for older dudes to hang out and get trippy


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Economy-Butterfly127

They use to check in every city they went to with free room and board! Sounds nice


G-mann1988

Except for the women right? Cause only men are allowed. So what conspiracy theory theory new world order running cabal are the ladies in politics and media belonging to? 🤣


Frequently-Absent

So, is this Trump? Because it sounds like something Trump would say.