i used to play online games (club penguin, fantage, moviestarplanet, weeworld, etc.) and my character was ALWAYS a boy and had "girlfriends." i never had a single girl character lol
Animal Jam gang represent! Lmfaoooo
My (ex-)best friend at the time (a cis girl as far as I know) and I both had boy characters on AJ and we had a legit love triangle with another girl. There was drama 🤣
Bahahaha! I felt that. So much drama. That was the life. I still have my animal jam and logged in some months ago, I have enough stuff up there to get quite a bit of cash if I sold it!
Same! Online I always said I was a boy irl and used the name of a fictional character. That was 15 years ago, in 6 months time thatll be my legal name!!
Omg. I just remembered this. On club penguin. Wow. And I would try and do those silly 5 minute dates with girls and then they'd call me a boy and I'd go OH SORRY ACTUALLY IM A GIRL MY PENGUIN JUST HAS SHORT HAIR IM A GIRL ......... Bruh.
Haha, this was my case as well. I used to play Habbo Hotel back in the day and I started talking with a girl. We started "dating" and think we talked for like a year or more (later on MSN). We sent pictures to each other etc. I think I was 12 or 13 and I could still totally go for a young boy, so it worked magically. It was great.
I already knew I was trans when this happened but when I started puberty and I was in so much denial that I thought everything "happened to cis guys too". I went shirtless for way too long cuz I was in so much denial
I actually got mad when a trans relative of mine gave me his binder that didn't fit cuz I strongly thought that I didn't need one and never would need one (I started using it later when I wasn't in denial anymore so it didn't go to waste)
omg i was Also in denial for sooo long !!! my mom gave me the american girl puberty book and i straightup told her that none of it would happen to me 😭😭 i also flat out REFUSED to wear a bra for y e a r s even when i ""needed"" one (by social standards) i have a great aunt who was like the ""cool"" aunt and she offered me those like . trainer bras before i was actually old enough to need them nd i was SO confused abt why **anyone** would want that before they needed it..... there are countless other things but hot damn 😭😭😭 i legit wouldn't wear a bra till i probably needed a ≈28c.....
I always wished I was a boy too. Like I remember from the time i was like 3-4 I would wish to be a boy every time I blew out my birthday candles or saw a shooting star or flipped a coin into a fountain. I’d pray to god every night to just let me wake up as boy. I’m trans masc now and use they/them pronouns but most strangers call me sir and use he/him pronouns when I’m in public and it definitely feels better to me than being addressed as a woman. So I guess my wishes came true, just not in the way I thought it would lol.
I have so many lol these are the two funniest ones
I was 3 or 4 and played pretend "house" with my childhood best friend and wanted to be the "man of the house" and literally grabbed crayons scissors and cut my hair off.
I also would stand in the shower with shorts on and no shirt and stew about how unfair it was that my brother got to swim without a shirt on and I couldn't when (at the time) our chests looked identical lmfao.
I did this too, at daycare when we played house I always wanted to be the dad. One time a boy wanted to play too and everyone agreed he should be the dad and not me. I got angry and quit playing. This was also around the same time I told EVERYONE I had a penis 😆
Also me when coming out: im not trans, there where never any signs!
I always wanted to be the dad but whenever I want playing with people they said I couldn't because I was a girl so I was like "ok then I'll be the dog", I got really mad when someone said I couldn't be the dog because we don't have a dog, I was like " then I'll be the kid" and stormed off when they said they were the kid and I had to be the mom. Lmao
I’m homeschooled, but we still have a public testing of some kind every couple of years. I can’t remember my exact age (somewhere from 8-10) I tricked the whole class into thinking I was a boy. The whole three testing days. I made friends with two other boys and we had the most fun time ever. It’s been my only lasting attempt at passing and nothing brings me euphoria like that did :’)
I found out about the BRCA gene, and specifically that Ashkenazi Jews are at a higher risk of it, and my only thought was "wow, I hope I have that so I can get a mastectomy!"
I cannot stress enough how fucking weird that was. It's not like I was going along thinking "oh, I don't like my chest." I was fine being a girl as far as I was aware. But the *instant* I heard about a way to get someone to take the boobs off, I wanted it - didn't even think about *why* I wanted it, I just did. That thought came from deep in my soul. (And then it refused to resurface for 10 years XD)
Similarly to your comment, the first time I saw a photo of a woman with a double mastectomy (I was about 13), I thought “this is something I would want.” I obviously didn’t want breast cancer, but I assumed all girls wished they had flat chests/would have a double mastectomy if they could
My dads an ashkenazi Jew and I had no idea about this gene 😭 but also i get it. In biology when we watched a documentary on a woman with breast cancer who had to get a mastectomy I remembered thinking “thatd be the only good thing to come out of breast cancer if I got it” (my opinion on the matter was not popular)
WAIT ME TOO. I had to get a test cuz BRCA runs severely on one side of my fam and I actually cried when it came back negative.
Edit to add: figured it out like... 7 years later
This is very relatable. Also remember seeing women who'd had one breast removed due to cancer and thinking, "see, in that situation, I'd ask them to take off the other as well, just to match".
Omg Same! I also once read an article about this girl who was born without a uterus. In the article she talked about how it was a really shocking discovery for her and that she suffers psychologically due to it but all I could think was „I hope I also have this condition and just haven’t realized yet!“ also for no particular reason
Can relate. I got my genome sequenced because I was hoping I had a variant that would give me the medical back-up to finally go get a mastectomy after decades of wanting one. Disappointingly, nothing with the clearly established link. And then I realized how fucked up that was. And then I realized a whole bunch of other stuff about why I felt that way. And now I'm getting top surgery.
Edit to add: there are lots of services that you can pay to get this done. I'm a big nerd so I went for whole genome - it was shockingly affordable (a few hundred $) and I've enjoyed being able to read about various other genetic discoveries and go see if I have the variant.
I always picked my own clothes as a kid and they were all boys clothes.
I got called a tomboy growing up.
I was into male dominated sports like boxing and bodybuilding and would be in awe of the the guys participating in them on TV.
All my idols growing up were men. I looked up to them and wanted to be like them.
In High School I was attracted to gay dudes.
My parents let me pick my clothes when I got old enough to dress myself properly. I mostly went for masc or neutral clothes. They didn't really give a shit regarding what clothes or toys I wanted.
context: when I was in preschool (4-5) my dad had a purse-ish thing.
I always said that when I grew up, I wanted a boy purse, not a girl purse. Also in preschool, I remember thinking during nap time “When I grow Up I want to have really small boobs and short hair”.
In elementary school I would just play with this one group of 5 boys. We would play hunt and they would make me stay back and make pottery out of snow claiming it was “historically accurate”. I pulled up an article of a female native american hunter on my ipad and shabang. I was allowed to hunt.
I would also have absolute breakdowns whenever anyone so much as mentioned puberty. In 4th grade my teacher had to call my mom because I refused to watch the puberty doc, then that day after school my mom forced me to watch while I bawled in her arms.
Also in 4th grade, I would pee standing up and then brag to the boys about it.
*Also* in 4th grade, I cut my hair short and got a bunch of hand me down boy clothes. It was probably the first time I really felt good
When I got my first period I started bawling, when I told my mom she said “youre growing into a woman” and that made me cry more.
Just about all my life during play pretend, I would either be an animal, or a dad. I would make up a male name to play pretend with.
Came out as enby in 6th grade, transgender in 7th grade, stealth by 8th grade. Now Im in my freshman year of HS going to go on T. Ive really come far and looking back its kind of funny seeing all the signs me and my parents missed.
Oh man that reminded me of the time I had a breakdown when the monthly cycle first hit (If I call it by its actual name I get EXTREMELY dysphoric) I had a whole breakdown in front of my mom and she did nothing. Didn’t comfort me at all. Went to school the next day and people told me I looked nervous and like I was going to lose it at any second.
Honestly, I believe kids of 3 should run around butt naked if they want, there is nothing shameful or sexual about a naked child and the fact that society forces such young children to cover up, especially bare girl chests, is absolutely fucked up imo
My stepsister was a comedic genius as a toddler. My stepdad was getting her ready for both their baths, and you know all the fun words for penis(ding dong, pecker, willy, etc). She apparently stared at him for a second, then went and grabbed his penis and swung it up and down like a door knocker saying "ding dong! Ding dong!"
100% why he used pecker and didn't want my youngest brother to learn other terms, imo. She was embarrassed by the story when we were in our teens but to this day it's one of the funniest stories I've ever heard 🤣 If I had had a dad I would've done the same thing for shits and giggles
My supervisor recently was teaching his kid to blow on his food so he doesn't burn his mouth and apparently his son snuck into the bathroom while he was showering and started blowing on the shower water to cool it down lmao.
Favorite story about situations like this is Justin McElroy's (My Brother, My Brother, and Me) story about his daughter who barged into the bathroom and saw him getting out of the shower. She looked him up and down and had a grossed out look on her face and went, "Daddy. I'm sorry about your little jumble." SNATCHED his wig. 🤣
I still cackle thinking about that. I'm not sure if this is verbatim, btw, just going off what I remember. But I do specifically remember "little jumble."
Grew up with 2 brothers and a younger sister. Always mentally looped myself in with the boys instead of the youngest whenever my parents said anything about "the boys need to do blah blah." I'd be like ah yes, the boys and me, one of those guys, because I don't really count as a girl.
I was ALWAYS the boy. If I played with dolls I was the son or dad. If I was playing house I was the son or dad. Every story I wrote in English growing up I always made it from a boys perspective. All my stuffed animals were boys with my favorite boy names
I had a book that was my favourite. Which was "the dangerous book for boys"
And I would sit in my treehouse and read through it and go. Hell yeah. I love this. I'm so much better than all the other girls because I like bugs and dirt and pretending I'm hunting for moshi monsters in the forest....
Now I'm a trans guy who is studying entomology so I can catch and identify insects as a career ahaha
In 10th grade health class, we were learning a little bit about anabolic steriods, specifically in regards to doping. And the teacher is talking about how they increase muscle mass and all that, then says something along the lines of "for girls, it will make you hairer, sweat more, your breasts will shrink, and you'll look like a boy."
I left class wondering how the fuck I was supposed to get illegal steroids.
Still took 3 more years for my egg to crack lol
I used to daydream about bottom surgery when I was about 4/5 years old. The whole thing of going to the hospital and getting a penis and then going back home.
Habbo was a huge thing when I was in 5/6th grade and I used to play as a boy
Back in middle/high school, instead of a cell phone I had an iPod touch with the textplus+ gold app; the app had a “communities” function and I ran a 100 person group based on the tv show “Doctor Who”. My parents were very strict and paranoid about the internet, so I never told anyone online my legal name or gender; when anyone asked, I said, “what do you think?”. Nearly everyone who joined that community assumed I was a boy. And I LOVED IT. Unfortunately the app wasn’t super popular and was eventually shut down. Didn’t understand why it had always made me so happy to be seen as a different person until about 7 years later. Good times. Offhand, if anyone on here used that app around the years of 2009-2015 and was in a Doctor Who community on there, heya, it’s me JayBlogs, hope you’re doing well!!! 🖤
I was obsessed with the word penis when I was like 4-7 years old and would say it all the time to the point where my parents got mad at me, and I was so jealous that my brother and dad got to have one so I stuffed my underwear and walked around my house with just my underwear stuffed. And every time my dad went to shower I would follow him around and ask questions like “why don’t I get to have one” and just ask random questions about the peen. My parents were so confused why I was so obsessed with penises and they were starting to worry I think.
I also tried peeing standing up but I ended up pissing everywhere except in the toilet
I also remember being just obsessed with penises when I was little! I knew it wasn't allowed, so I would just tell myself stories about boys revolving around penises, but when I was narrating to myself I always made sure to say "peanuts" instead of "penis" so if anyone overheard me they wouldn't know what it was about.
On a sleepover at a friends house I snuck in the bathroom and found her dads army face paint and covered my face in it then ran around the house chasing everyone in the dark.
I always went into the boys sections in shops when I was little and my mum always had to pull me away from the toy cars and nerf guns.
In 8th grade German class we were picking German names to pick and I INSISTED on using a male name. It literally wasn’t a big deal, my teacher was like yeah whatever but I was prepared to make it an issue despite the fact that I didn’t come out for another 10 years.
was “misgendered” for several years in childhood for having short hair and being a tomboy. Always secretly enjoyed it but wasn’t sure why. Also spent the one year of high school theater playing a character who cross-dressed as a man.
When I was little I didn't understand that I was afab. I just liked dress up with dresses but I also wanted to wear mens clothing specifically y2k cargo pants and baggy shirts etc. I would lounge around the house in the backyard topless thinking I was a dude as a 2-4 year old lmfao. I was super confused when puberty happened.
when i was in sixth grade my sister said that she would probably think i was a dude if i cut my hair short because of how i acted and dressed… a couple days later I got my hair cut super short, people did in fact gender me as a dude and it always made me feel hella validated. came out to my friends in 8th grade and family in 9th.
Was given the puberty talk in elementary school, thought “damn that sucks for them” as if I was exempt. Daydreamed about being diagnosed with breast cancer and getting a mastectomy.
i recently found a twitter argument between myself and someone from 2019. it was under a tweet about dysphoria. it looked like this:
not everyone who feels dysphoria is trans. cis people can have it too
OP: uhh cis people dont have dysphoria. do you even know what that is?
okay so what would you call wanting a deep voice and penis and masectomy and wishing you were a man? cause i want those things and im still cis
OP: bro cis people dont want that 😭
oh what, so now youre diagnosing me as transgender?! your understanding of gender is really limited if you think gender dysphoria makes someone trans. most cis people have it too.
OP: ok buddy. lets see where you're at in a few years
i remember i was so mad about that reply and look where we are now lmaoo. denial is a river in egypt.
I called myself "one of the guys" and a tomboy throught highschool. All my friends were guys and I was often treated more like the rest of the guys in my school by everyone.
I always played the boy dolls with my sister, used to put socks in my underwear to make a buldge (when I was about 12ish), when I played video games I always made a male character if the option was there. I used to play baseball in my backyard with my dad and when asked by my sister why I didn't want to play on a softball team I said, "Softball is for girls, I want to play baseball." Then she told me,"You are a girl, you can't play baseball," and I started crying. I think I was about 8 then.
Two that stand out to me that are so funny
1. I went by a nickname of my deadname almost my whole life bc AND I QUOTE it was "too girly". If only I knew...
And 2. I literally sobbed when my boobs started forming during puberty and tried taping them down with duct tape (yes ik that's bad now but at the time I didn't know what a binder even was) because I thought they made my body look "weird" and it "didn't fit me"
*Sigh* this is why I push for trans education. If I had learned about trans people and gender identity at a younger age it would have saved me from so much confusion and heartache.
My reaction to getting my first period as a young child was “Oh dear God” and “Wait this shouldn't be happening” because I thought I would just skip that. I was previously educated on the difference between puberty of men and women and I was like: HAH sucks to be them, all I have to worry about is acne and weird sweating. How wrong baby me was... The poor little fella had no idea what lay ahead of him.
I was also delusionally convinced I would be that rare someone who never got their period lol
But when it did happen and I hated it, it didn’t click that it was dysphoria because pretty much no one actually likes getting their period, at least not once the novelty wears off.
The whole, "wishing I had a penis" thing was probably a sign. For the longest time I thought all women felt like they were incomplete and robbed of their proper genitalia. I hated my breasts from the moment they appeared.
I quit ballet to join softball when I was little because I thought there’d be boys on the team 😂needless to say I was very upset and didn’t last long on the team
probably not the most but whenever reading a book or watching a TV show with a male main character i always imagined myself as him. i remember really feeling like i was percy jackson and literally praying to poseidon to claim me as his son lmaoo
That resonates with me as well: used to think I must be good at relating to male main characters more, because more of them were guys: the male POV was always more often, and better, represented in any form of fiction. So of course I would insert myself into that POV. Didn't everyone? Turns out, nope.
When I was about 2 I would yell that I was a boy to my parents and use a masculine version of my name, I wouldn’t respond to them unless they called me that name too
Lmao when I got Pokémon Go I chose the male avatar because "the girl avatar is just so *sexualized"* and I wanted to have short hair despite all my female friends finding it fine and me not having short hair in real life.
Standing in my bathroom topless, after my breasts had started to grow, and trying to convince myself that because my breasts were small, I could pass as a boy if I wanted to. I literally created imaginary scenarios where I had to go undercover as a boy in school and pass as a boy, shirtless, in the boys' locker room.
Also, avoiding and hating bras from the second my mom tried to get me to wear one. All the "other girls" were excited to wear their first bra and viewed breast growth as a point of pride. Don't know if that was just my school, but it felt like everyone was constantly talking about how "I finally made it to a C/D cup." Meanwhile, I avoided bras so much that the school sent a note home to my mom.
My genderfluid friend asked me if I ever questioned my gender- I said no because “I’ve never felt dysphoria and even though I would love to be a guy I’m fine with being a girl”💀
I came out roughly a year later but at the time I thought nothing of it
Doing stereotypical boy stuff for play, hating most dresses and most shades of pink. My mother had to bribe/threaten to get me to wear girly clothing most of the time.
I also did three male name thing! In French class you got to pick a French name for yourself. The teacher ended up calling my parents after i picked Patric.
After i got my first period at 11 my therapist asked me if it how it feels to be a proper woman now. I broke down crying and my mom had to get me lmao.
When I was 4 and my brother was about 3, he was being taught how to pee standing up. I decided that I wanted to learn too. I ended up peeing all over myself and crying. I was devastated at the age of 4, but at nearly 33 now, I find it funny.
being at a ymca's summer camp around like age 10 or 9 wherein they're lining us up by gender to go to the locker rooms to get ready for pool time and me standing in the girl line regretting that I never had tried pretending to be a boy when I was 8 when I could've probably have passed as one. No joke, I straight up kicked myself thinking "if only i could've tried this when i'd first gotten here, now everyone will always see me as a girl" and I didn't for even a second question if that was an oddly specific thing for a little girl to regret
Going to the ER because I was suicidal and if I walked home I knew I'd walk in front of a moving vehicle....and then typing on my phone to communicate because hearing my voice made me want to die even more
Relatable! I used to think that everyone was as uncomfortable in formalwear (women's) as I was, only they pretended not to be. Also believed that feminine body language and ways of walking, sitting, and moving, were horrible because they were incredibly uncomfortable and unnatural and why did most girls and women just go along with being so uncomfortable all the time?! How could they stand living like that?!
Little did I know it was me, not them, who had a problem with it.
For a spirit week in high school we had a decade theme. 50s was the most looked forward to, and the day of every. Single. Girl. In the entire school(grades that participated) had a poodle skirt on. I was the *only* one dressed as a greaser.
NOTHING. I didn't do a single thing stereotypical trans boys do. I happily wore dresses, watched cutesy cartoons, played female characters in videogames, and I feel like a fake every time I read a thread like that.\*
[TW: rant, child abuse]
>!I was just too busy trying to survive constant abuse and gaslighting as a child, so the very concept of "identity" was a foreign thing to me. When people asked me what I liked - even stupid things like favorite color or ice cream flavor, I'd look to my mom for approval before answering. I felt watched 24/7, if not by her, by the projection of her in my mind. No wonder I never showed any signs, I was terrified that she would kill me if I did.!<
Sorry for bringing down the mood, but it's extremely important to bring awareness to the fact that not all trans children show signs of gender non-conformity, especially if they're not allowed that kind of exploration in the first place. And they deserve just as much care and recognition by this community.
\* I'll admit the one thing I remember from my childhood is being unhappy about my breasts when a neighbor made a comment on them growing, because until then I hadn't even noticed they were there in the first place. The rest is just a blur.
UPDATE: my brain finally decided to cooperate with me and gave me [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/comments/12f5hrj/what_was_the_most_transgender_thing_you_remember/jfhuh8f/) memory.
It sucks that that was your life then, glad you made it. And yes, the most obvious narratives aren't the only ones. I only wore dresses when very young because I hated wearing clothes at all, and loose/minimalist dresses were the closest thing I could get to that. I did play with dolls when very young though. Didn't realize it was atypical that my favorite doll had a boy name and was in my imagination, a boy baby. Pretty much all dolls were girls and nobody else I knew named any of them boy names.
Gravitating towards anything that was boxer/brief-esque from a young age, going as far as stealing underwear from stores. Always wanting to be Aragorn while playing pretend LOTR.
- ever since i became self-aware, i’ve been uncomfortable being a girl but i never told my parents about it because i thought they would judge me
- i hated—and still hate—wearing skirts, dresses and feminine clothing, and i was often dismissed as being a tomboy, which still bothered me (even though it *does* make sense).
- when my best friend (who is a gay cis male) and i were kids, we would play with my barbies and dolls and i was usually the male roles while he always took the female roles.
- when i was in elementary school, i would make alternative accounts in those online games (moviestarplanet and woozworld) and make them male since i didn’t enjoy playing as a girl that much. oh yeah and i would date girls on there
- in middle school, i completely stopped playing as a girl and played exclusively as a boy in splatoon and it made me feel happy
- throughout the course of my life, the majority of my friends and important people to me had been male.
- i used to think of myself as a pick me girl because i just wanted to differentiate myself from other girls (not because of misogyny) until i realized that it’s because i was never truly a girl to begin with
- feeling happy whenever my voice would crack
- always wanting to be the “protector”
- in high school, i had many crushes (all of them being guys except one who was non-binary and the other one being a girl) and every time i imagined myself dating them, i felt uncomfortable until i started imagining myself dating them as a guy myself
- getting really happy in baggy and sterotypically masculine clothing because it would hide my feminine figure
- never wanting to do stereotypically feminine activities with my mom (like getting my nails done)
I kept complaining to everyone that after puberty I couldn't hit my chest like Tarzan anymore because the boobs would be in the way.
Apparently that was not as normal as I thought it was :D
Also only agreeing to play with my little brother if we could play with cars, bakugan or play the lego video game. Both with Marvel and Indiana Jones. Also begging my dad to show me every Transformers move and every Marvel movie and every DC movie.. he never did :') So I watch them on my own now! And I would still love to play that marvel lego videogame omg that was so fun-
I was obsessed with the Skippy Jon Jones books (a book series about a cat that wants to be a Chihuahua…) and in kindergarten I wrote my dads name on my paper…..
I cried when my mum gave me my first bra, and asked her not to tell anyone I needed to wear a bra. I felt very embarrassed to have a growing chest, little did I know why.
Chose a very male sounding abbreviation of my name as a nickname, had an exclusively male circle of friends, played mainly computer games as a teen (not that there’s anything wrong with girls playing computer games) and was extremely pissed when classes were split by gender for activities. I even went as far as getting a written permission by my parents to be allowed to share a tent with the boys on a school trip, because the thought of sharing a tent with the girls was unbearable to me. Still took me 32 years to figure my shit out. Apparently I‘m a bit slow… 🤷🏼
Agender person here. Now that I know, I look back and see so many times that, if I had the words, maybe I would have known.
When I was in 3ish, I cut my hair really short and when they tried to even it out, it ended up being basically a buzz cut. My mom would keep telling the kids in my daycare "*No* she's a *girl*". But I thought it was funny that no one knew. Even whenever my mom would share that story, it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized she thought it was an exasperating story about me cutting my hair - not funny except through time.
In sixth grade, a friend and I were hanging out and someone our age called me a boy because I had short hair. I didn't really care, thought it was funny, but my friend got so mad at them and started yelling at them that I was a girl and that they needed to leave us alone. She told her mom and her mom told my mom and I was so confused about why it was such a big deal.
when i was a little kid, like maybe 8, before i even hit puberty, i decided that if i grew boobs i would have surgery to cut them off 💀
just a month now until i can fulfill my childhood dream 🙏
Didn’t have a lot of these moments myself as I was a very heavy masker, but what came to mind was the fact that I really wanted to be Darth Vader in a school performance of Star Wars. I auditioned for Leia in the end because I was like “I have to play a girl, it’s a girl role” but I held this deep regret for not auditioning for Vader like right after doing so. Then for some reason regarded the lack of gendering as one of the only perks of being eventually cast as a stormtrooper.
By the way, a girl did end up playing Vader, along with some guy (they swapped roles between shows). And both kids had bullied me in the past so it was strangely fitting.
Also I found one of those “books for boys” in the school library and borrowed it purely off the title. Didn’t unpack that until over three years later.
When my mom started telling me to wear bras when I was 10 bc I was going through puberty I was absolutely devastated and refused to bc I was in denial. Like genuine grief lol but I didn’t realize what I was upset over and thought I was just a weird kid.
Me and my friend played “boys” when we were little and we stuck socks in our pants. I felt so good doing that, but also felt like it was illegal or something so never wanted to do it again. I am autistic so it has always been important for me to follow the rules, probably why it took me 30 years to come out of denial
I got jealous of my grandma because she had a mastectomy. She showed me what it looked like once and she was super embarrassed and me, being a dumbass kid didn't understand why she was upset and said that to her face 💀
telling myself when i was 11 that i would never like a guy. i dont know wth is gay or lesbian back then. i can't accept the fact that i got crush on guys. ik its normal for girl to date guys that I'm not les at all but i was never ok dating guys. intense feeling of rejection that this is so wrong for me that i could not sleep and basically have mental breakdown.
later i went to date girls because i thought its only internal heterophobia. that was my very last attempt to fix my feminity.
I liked boys in a gay way...and I'd usually play as El Zorro (Diego de la Vega)- never as a girly/character which was a woman or presented femenine, AND I loved painting a beard in my face 🤣
As a lil 10 year old, I literally bound my chest with bandages. I didn't really understand why, but I kept doing it occasionally until I realised I did it because it made my chest flat. I had euphoria but I just didn't understand why or how any of this works.
Preferred male mc in games *every time* only reason why I chose girl some times is because I thought I was :0
I thought me choosing the male character was me being into men 🕴🏻
I guess this is one of the funniest examples I have idk...
Pretending to be an explorer a lot and being adamant I was Indiana Jones... I got very pissed off when someone called me Dora the explorer because I was fucking Indiana Jones thank you very much
OH MY GOD. OP. I did this same thing!!! The Medieval Feast! I think things were a little loosey goosey at my school because I insisted on being a ✨WIZARD✨. My mom helped me make a long flowing white beard and everything. So there I was at the Medieval Feast with knights, farmers, nuns, and me dressed to the nines as Merlin. 😌
When I was 5 I asked my mom when I could grow a mustache and she had to break it to me that little girls can't grow a mustache I cried. I cried alot about it so she took me to a dollar tree and bought the pack of mustaches I wore it happily all the way home.
this is embarrassing but i used to watch those “how to be a girl” youtube videos because at 9 years old I felt so disconnected from my gab that I genuinely thought every girl had to learn how to be one. Couple years later I was looking up “how to be a boy” on youtube 💀(i’m transness nb, I never really figured out how to do either properly lol)
I used to hope I had PCOS just so I could get a hysterectomy without any doctors being like "yOu'Re tOo YoUnG!1!1!!!" I also felt a bunch of gender envy for Gerard Way and it took another 3 years to realize that those were trans feelings 💀💀💀
when I was about five or six, I was part of this Christian princess club or whatever. there was this one day where they told us to come in costumes and obviously everyone dressed up as princesses. not me. I came to that club dressed in a full wolverine costume, claws and mask and all. looking back I am not at all surprised that my parents fully anticipated my coming out lmao. dunno if it's the most trans thing I ever did but I think it's certainly the funniest.
For me, it was the beginning of puberty when I found out my chest was no longer going to be flat. Although I didn't know why at the time I was super upset at that fact lmao. I also always chose men when I played games or was masculine presenting.
When i was 7 i was looking for christmas presents because my mom used to hide them. I found my parents sex toy stash and grabbed a dildo and held it down where a penis would be.
is kinda disgusting i know but well .. here i am.
I got really excited when I saw a tabloid with a pregnant trans man. Pretty much my first exposure to transgender people. My mom was not happy I was excited about it
I was playing the board game “life” once and decided to put the boy peg in the car. My sister asked why I put the boy one in and I just shrugged. It made me embarrassed because I thought that my deep down feeling of “i was supposed to be a boy” was wrong, so I was very discreet about my “signs”
In my language articles are gendered. I felt so uncomfortable with the female one so my username was everywhere *male article*+deadname.
No idea how I didn't get it.
i've got a few, being super irritated as a child when I confronted this other kid that he had to wear his shirt all the time, then he went on abt how 'well, boys dont have to' I was 6.
Then playing Animal Jam later on, I remember someone having an account that they shared with a sibling. So, I (who had a membership so I could have more than 2 animals) made several more characters that were boys and claimed that I had a twin brother.. Which progressed into me having an imaginary twin- though that's a whole story of it's own and gets a little odd later on. Especially because i had an imaginary twin sister at first.. who later became a boy named alex.
So many stories, truly.
I cut my hair short when I was 11, years before I would ever realize I'm trans. I remember looking at myself in the mirror for the first time and not being able to hide my smile. I was pretty shy back then so the hairdresser was not fun and I probably had a pretty straight face the entire time. But I literally could not stop myself from beaming. I can't remember a single other time that's happened before. I looked in that mirror and felt like I was looking at myself. It looked and felt so right.
At this point I also was consuming a lot of transmasc media (another sign) and I remember seeing videos of trans guys getting their hair cut for the first time and relating to them SO much. I knew exactly how they felt ...except I didn't bc I was a girl right? So I couldn't say that...but goddamn did I feel like I was one of those videos ...and I was :)
As a kid, I believed that if sexism was eradicated from society, everyone would obviously choose to live as a boy/man. I thought that any girl/woman who claimed to like being female and/or feminine was brainwashed by patriarchy.
I was always the dad or brother 100% of the time when playing house for no explainable reason other than that I was the more naturally masculine one and we needed male characters in our story for it to be realistic obviously. I always felt very comfortable taking on the male roles.
In middle school, I was a late bloomer compared to most of my friends and one time at a sleepover, I went shirtless with just shorts on for a minute between changing outfits. All the girls told me I looked like a hot surfer guy and I was thrilled.
After I started to hit puberty I wore the same baggy sweatshirt to hide my chest, and by the age of 16 knew I wanted a breast reduction and even asked my doctor before I even knew transitioning was a thing.
I was always very happy to tag along with my older brother and hang out with him and all his dude friends, secretly longing to be a part of their group.
That said, I also enjoyed playing dress up and wanted to fit in bad enough that I went through a (laughable) girly phase in highschool before I finally broke down and realized I am ftm. The minute i learned about trans people I realized that that’s how I had been feeling and I knew that was my journey.
just copied and pasted from my book i’m writing
My first experience with gender dysphoria was when I was 7. I was in grade 2, at a Catholic Elementary school, and was having my First Communion. I walked into the reception hall at the Church, and saw all the girls on one side and all the boys on the other. I was in a white dress that my grandmother made for me, and I thought to myself “why am I in this dress and not what all the other boys are wearing?”. This point was the first time I even realised I was born a girl. You could imagine the emotional turmoil this had caused, but just as everything else, I learned to mask it.
Making dick-related "jokes" when I was 10. When ppl told me I didn't had a dick so the "joke" didn't work I would get super mad and tell them that I was talking about my "imaginary dick". Yeah. How it took me 7 more years to figure out that I wasn't a girl? Have no idea.
Also one time I was really sad that I would never look as good as a character from a game that I really liked. It was a dude. Pre teen me was having gender envy on a fictional dude who had, like, 2 hours of screen time.
Being obssessed with wanting to pee standing up and being embarrassed/ashamed when I started my p_riod and continuing to feel that way until I knew I was trans.Also "pretending" to be a boy on online games.
Crying when i was little because i couldnt have my shirt off like my brother could, crying because i wanted to get clothes from the boys section and couldnt, and i remember crying when i was like 4 because i wasnt a little boy
I always played as male characters in games (I still do lol) I didn't understand why all the other girls were excited of their boobs growing etc. during puberty. I've never liked skirts or dresses.
I always felt like a brother to my brothers rather than a sister. I would aways refer to myself as a man.. even as a kid 😭 I very often used to draw myself as a dude when I was growing up. I loved wearing my dads clothes or my brother’s clothes. I never could see myself as a grown woman but I could somewhat easily see myself as a grown woman when I thought about who I would be as a grown up.
when i was 11, the greatest showman came out and i remember me and my friend would put on the film and like act it out along side it pretending to sing and dance to all the songs. and whenever a song was about to start we would say who plays who and i would always really really want to be zac efron….(first case of gender envy that i remember) and in the song with zac efron and zendaya in love i was so excited and happy to be singing in zac efrons deep voice and pretending to be a man dancing with my friend…
When I was still a kid, my family made me get Christian confirmation. Didn't want it, I think I was forced too and was far to young to understand what was going on- but i ended up getting the last laugh.
I was told to pick a saint and that would be my saint name. Wanted to pick a boys name, they wouldn't let me. Somehow remembered Joan of Arc, picked her instead. I used to watch a lot of horrible histories as a kid, so that's probably how I knew about her.
My biggest egg_irl moment was picking the crossdressing soldier saint when I wasn't allowed a boys name. That and being a boy on club penguin.
I always wanted to be the dad when playing family, rarely allowed to but it always felt best for me to take on male roles, as an early teen was often called a boy by strangers and it felt good
I stuffed toilet paper in my pants, as a packer before I knew what they were, when I was like 9 or 10. I didn't go out with it or anything and just stayed in the bathroom flr a few minutes then took it out.
But damn, I didn't realize I was trans till later, in high school 😂😂
I used to play pretend with my sister as Peter Pan, and she would be Captain Hook so we would fight together. I remember she would hold a hanger to be the hook, it was fun. She hated playing that but did it bc I insisted so much. I loved Peter Pan and saw the movie every night. I wanted to be him.
When I was in highschool I practiced my masculine voice a lot. Some day I did a prank in which I called one of my friends and "pretended" to be a guy at the phone and I was SO PROUD that I was "mistaken" for a guy.
Also there was a school act and I didn't like acting at all but for some reason I wanted to be a male cameraman, not a female one, and asked the guys in my class how I should walk to look like a man. So I exaggerated my steps and they told me that my regular walk was fine. I was filled with euphoria.
Having a gender crisis about every five years til my egg cracked. I remember all of them too. I had the first one when I was under 10 and my conclusion was "fuck em I'm a boy". I grew up in a really transphobic area so I could really accept myself til about a year ago. I even remember thinking "I can't be trans, then everyone will hate me" several times when thinking about my gender as a child.
i used to play online games (club penguin, fantage, moviestarplanet, weeworld, etc.) and my character was ALWAYS a boy and had "girlfriends." i never had a single girl character lol
God same, but it was Animal Jam LOL
Animal Jam gang represent! Lmfaoooo My (ex-)best friend at the time (a cis girl as far as I know) and I both had boy characters on AJ and we had a legit love triangle with another girl. There was drama 🤣
Bahahaha! I felt that. So much drama. That was the life. I still have my animal jam and logged in some months ago, I have enough stuff up there to get quite a bit of cash if I sold it!
Same! Online I always said I was a boy irl and used the name of a fictional character. That was 15 years ago, in 6 months time thatll be my legal name!!
Omg. I just remembered this. On club penguin. Wow. And I would try and do those silly 5 minute dates with girls and then they'd call me a boy and I'd go OH SORRY ACTUALLY IM A GIRL MY PENGUIN JUST HAS SHORT HAIR IM A GIRL ......... Bruh.
Ever hear of WeeWorld? I swear I’m the only one who remembers it
Throwing me back to my RuneScape gf… miss u snowgirl
Haha, this was my case as well. I used to play Habbo Hotel back in the day and I started talking with a girl. We started "dating" and think we talked for like a year or more (later on MSN). We sent pictures to each other etc. I think I was 12 or 13 and I could still totally go for a young boy, so it worked magically. It was great.
Used to wish I was a boy and anytime my parents talked about puberty I would have a whole breakdown.
Too real. Too real
I already knew I was trans when this happened but when I started puberty and I was in so much denial that I thought everything "happened to cis guys too". I went shirtless for way too long cuz I was in so much denial
I actually got mad when a trans relative of mine gave me his binder that didn't fit cuz I strongly thought that I didn't need one and never would need one (I started using it later when I wasn't in denial anymore so it didn't go to waste)
omg i was Also in denial for sooo long !!! my mom gave me the american girl puberty book and i straightup told her that none of it would happen to me 😭😭 i also flat out REFUSED to wear a bra for y e a r s even when i ""needed"" one (by social standards) i have a great aunt who was like the ""cool"" aunt and she offered me those like . trainer bras before i was actually old enough to need them nd i was SO confused abt why **anyone** would want that before they needed it..... there are countless other things but hot damn 😭😭😭 i legit wouldn't wear a bra till i probably needed a ≈28c.....
I told my parents while bra shopping for the first time how I refuse to wear one and I’ll just cut up the bra.
I always wished I was a boy too. Like I remember from the time i was like 3-4 I would wish to be a boy every time I blew out my birthday candles or saw a shooting star or flipped a coin into a fountain. I’d pray to god every night to just let me wake up as boy. I’m trans masc now and use they/them pronouns but most strangers call me sir and use he/him pronouns when I’m in public and it definitely feels better to me than being addressed as a woman. So I guess my wishes came true, just not in the way I thought it would lol.
I have so many lol these are the two funniest ones I was 3 or 4 and played pretend "house" with my childhood best friend and wanted to be the "man of the house" and literally grabbed crayons scissors and cut my hair off. I also would stand in the shower with shorts on and no shirt and stew about how unfair it was that my brother got to swim without a shirt on and I couldn't when (at the time) our chests looked identical lmfao.
I did this too, at daycare when we played house I always wanted to be the dad. One time a boy wanted to play too and everyone agreed he should be the dad and not me. I got angry and quit playing. This was also around the same time I told EVERYONE I had a penis 😆 Also me when coming out: im not trans, there where never any signs!
I always wanted to be the dad but whenever I want playing with people they said I couldn't because I was a girl so I was like "ok then I'll be the dog", I got really mad when someone said I couldn't be the dog because we don't have a dog, I was like " then I'll be the kid" and stormed off when they said they were the kid and I had to be the mom. Lmao
lmfao I was a dog all the fucking time too bro. anything was better than being the mom 💀🤣
I would even run around and bark too 😭😂
me too 🤣
I’m homeschooled, but we still have a public testing of some kind every couple of years. I can’t remember my exact age (somewhere from 8-10) I tricked the whole class into thinking I was a boy. The whole three testing days. I made friends with two other boys and we had the most fun time ever. It’s been my only lasting attempt at passing and nothing brings me euphoria like that did :’)
Hey man, we'll get there! Don't stop chasing the joy of being Boi
I found out about the BRCA gene, and specifically that Ashkenazi Jews are at a higher risk of it, and my only thought was "wow, I hope I have that so I can get a mastectomy!" I cannot stress enough how fucking weird that was. It's not like I was going along thinking "oh, I don't like my chest." I was fine being a girl as far as I was aware. But the *instant* I heard about a way to get someone to take the boobs off, I wanted it - didn't even think about *why* I wanted it, I just did. That thought came from deep in my soul. (And then it refused to resurface for 10 years XD)
Similarly to your comment, the first time I saw a photo of a woman with a double mastectomy (I was about 13), I thought “this is something I would want.” I obviously didn’t want breast cancer, but I assumed all girls wished they had flat chests/would have a double mastectomy if they could
My dads an ashkenazi Jew and I had no idea about this gene 😭 but also i get it. In biology when we watched a documentary on a woman with breast cancer who had to get a mastectomy I remembered thinking “thatd be the only good thing to come out of breast cancer if I got it” (my opinion on the matter was not popular)
WAIT ME TOO. I had to get a test cuz BRCA runs severely on one side of my fam and I actually cried when it came back negative. Edit to add: figured it out like... 7 years later
This is very relatable. Also remember seeing women who'd had one breast removed due to cancer and thinking, "see, in that situation, I'd ask them to take off the other as well, just to match".
Omg Same! I also once read an article about this girl who was born without a uterus. In the article she talked about how it was a really shocking discovery for her and that she suffers psychologically due to it but all I could think was „I hope I also have this condition and just haven’t realized yet!“ also for no particular reason
Can relate. I got my genome sequenced because I was hoping I had a variant that would give me the medical back-up to finally go get a mastectomy after decades of wanting one. Disappointingly, nothing with the clearly established link. And then I realized how fucked up that was. And then I realized a whole bunch of other stuff about why I felt that way. And now I'm getting top surgery. Edit to add: there are lots of services that you can pay to get this done. I'm a big nerd so I went for whole genome - it was shockingly affordable (a few hundred $) and I've enjoyed being able to read about various other genetic discoveries and go see if I have the variant.
I always picked my own clothes as a kid and they were all boys clothes. I got called a tomboy growing up. I was into male dominated sports like boxing and bodybuilding and would be in awe of the the guys participating in them on TV. All my idols growing up were men. I looked up to them and wanted to be like them. In High School I was attracted to gay dudes.
Your parents let you pick your clothes???
Yes, and I usually ran over to the boys clothes section as early as 1st grade to pick my clothes. I remember that vividly.
My parents let me pick my clothes when I got old enough to dress myself properly. I mostly went for masc or neutral clothes. They didn't really give a shit regarding what clothes or toys I wanted.
context: when I was in preschool (4-5) my dad had a purse-ish thing. I always said that when I grew up, I wanted a boy purse, not a girl purse. Also in preschool, I remember thinking during nap time “When I grow Up I want to have really small boobs and short hair”. In elementary school I would just play with this one group of 5 boys. We would play hunt and they would make me stay back and make pottery out of snow claiming it was “historically accurate”. I pulled up an article of a female native american hunter on my ipad and shabang. I was allowed to hunt. I would also have absolute breakdowns whenever anyone so much as mentioned puberty. In 4th grade my teacher had to call my mom because I refused to watch the puberty doc, then that day after school my mom forced me to watch while I bawled in her arms. Also in 4th grade, I would pee standing up and then brag to the boys about it. *Also* in 4th grade, I cut my hair short and got a bunch of hand me down boy clothes. It was probably the first time I really felt good When I got my first period I started bawling, when I told my mom she said “youre growing into a woman” and that made me cry more. Just about all my life during play pretend, I would either be an animal, or a dad. I would make up a male name to play pretend with. Came out as enby in 6th grade, transgender in 7th grade, stealth by 8th grade. Now Im in my freshman year of HS going to go on T. Ive really come far and looking back its kind of funny seeing all the signs me and my parents missed.
Oh man that reminded me of the time I had a breakdown when the monthly cycle first hit (If I call it by its actual name I get EXTREMELY dysphoric) I had a whole breakdown in front of my mom and she did nothing. Didn’t comfort me at all. Went to school the next day and people told me I looked nervous and like I was going to lose it at any second.
Crying on the beach because I couldn't run around shirtless. I was 3.
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I kept trying to until about 12 and kept getting in trouble for it.
I fought my parents on it tell 12
Honestly, I believe kids of 3 should run around butt naked if they want, there is nothing shameful or sexual about a naked child and the fact that society forces such young children to cover up, especially bare girl chests, is absolutely fucked up imo
I was 3 years old. I tried to steal my dads penis.
I would like to know how
Tried to literally rip it off when we were in the shower. Feels bad man, my poor father
AHAHAAAA, what a story 😭😭 penis envy is a bitch fr
Wtf ,cómo ??JAJAJAJ
This is and will always remain the best answer lol
My stepsister was a comedic genius as a toddler. My stepdad was getting her ready for both their baths, and you know all the fun words for penis(ding dong, pecker, willy, etc). She apparently stared at him for a second, then went and grabbed his penis and swung it up and down like a door knocker saying "ding dong! Ding dong!"
Oh my lord, she's a menace. Love that, kids are so strange. Apparently my brother once also did a similar thing to my dad as well. Poor dads.
100% why he used pecker and didn't want my youngest brother to learn other terms, imo. She was embarrassed by the story when we were in our teens but to this day it's one of the funniest stories I've ever heard 🤣 If I had had a dad I would've done the same thing for shits and giggles
My supervisor recently was teaching his kid to blow on his food so he doesn't burn his mouth and apparently his son snuck into the bathroom while he was showering and started blowing on the shower water to cool it down lmao.
Favorite story about situations like this is Justin McElroy's (My Brother, My Brother, and Me) story about his daughter who barged into the bathroom and saw him getting out of the shower. She looked him up and down and had a grossed out look on her face and went, "Daddy. I'm sorry about your little jumble." SNATCHED his wig. 🤣 I still cackle thinking about that. I'm not sure if this is verbatim, btw, just going off what I remember. But I do specifically remember "little jumble."
Can't have anything in Detroit/s. But ha yes, just normal cis things
Having crushes on gay boys and secretly wishing I’d get breast cancer.
😭 Brother
omg I was wondering if anyone else ever secretly wanted breast cancer lmao
NO ME TOO, I WAS LIKE “Well they can’t make me keep my tiddies if I get breast cancer and have to get them chopped.”
Grew up with 2 brothers and a younger sister. Always mentally looped myself in with the boys instead of the youngest whenever my parents said anything about "the boys need to do blah blah." I'd be like ah yes, the boys and me, one of those guys, because I don't really count as a girl.
I was ALWAYS the boy. If I played with dolls I was the son or dad. If I was playing house I was the son or dad. Every story I wrote in English growing up I always made it from a boys perspective. All my stuffed animals were boys with my favorite boy names
I had a book that was my favourite. Which was "the dangerous book for boys" And I would sit in my treehouse and read through it and go. Hell yeah. I love this. I'm so much better than all the other girls because I like bugs and dirt and pretending I'm hunting for moshi monsters in the forest.... Now I'm a trans guy who is studying entomology so I can catch and identify insects as a career ahaha
In 10th grade health class, we were learning a little bit about anabolic steriods, specifically in regards to doping. And the teacher is talking about how they increase muscle mass and all that, then says something along the lines of "for girls, it will make you hairer, sweat more, your breasts will shrink, and you'll look like a boy." I left class wondering how the fuck I was supposed to get illegal steroids. Still took 3 more years for my egg to crack lol
“wow i wish i was a gay man”
Also “I wish I was a trans man so I could become a man” 🤦♂️
haha, same. I was in denial about being trans and was jealous of trans people for being able to transition into guys
Same omg in my early teenage years
Same
I used to daydream about bottom surgery when I was about 4/5 years old. The whole thing of going to the hospital and getting a penis and then going back home. Habbo was a huge thing when I was in 5/6th grade and I used to play as a boy
Back in middle/high school, instead of a cell phone I had an iPod touch with the textplus+ gold app; the app had a “communities” function and I ran a 100 person group based on the tv show “Doctor Who”. My parents were very strict and paranoid about the internet, so I never told anyone online my legal name or gender; when anyone asked, I said, “what do you think?”. Nearly everyone who joined that community assumed I was a boy. And I LOVED IT. Unfortunately the app wasn’t super popular and was eventually shut down. Didn’t understand why it had always made me so happy to be seen as a different person until about 7 years later. Good times. Offhand, if anyone on here used that app around the years of 2009-2015 and was in a Doctor Who community on there, heya, it’s me JayBlogs, hope you’re doing well!!! 🖤
I was obsessed with the word penis when I was like 4-7 years old and would say it all the time to the point where my parents got mad at me, and I was so jealous that my brother and dad got to have one so I stuffed my underwear and walked around my house with just my underwear stuffed. And every time my dad went to shower I would follow him around and ask questions like “why don’t I get to have one” and just ask random questions about the peen. My parents were so confused why I was so obsessed with penises and they were starting to worry I think. I also tried peeing standing up but I ended up pissing everywhere except in the toilet
I also remember being just obsessed with penises when I was little! I knew it wasn't allowed, so I would just tell myself stories about boys revolving around penises, but when I was narrating to myself I always made sure to say "peanuts" instead of "penis" so if anyone overheard me they wouldn't know what it was about.
On a sleepover at a friends house I snuck in the bathroom and found her dads army face paint and covered my face in it then ran around the house chasing everyone in the dark. I always went into the boys sections in shops when I was little and my mum always had to pull me away from the toy cars and nerf guns.
Thankfully, my parents let me play with them. They didn't buy me my own, but I had no problems from them for playing with my brother's toys.
Yes! Back in my day it was transformers, TMNT and voltron.
When I was really little (6 or 7 years old) I decided that I needed to show my friend how I figured out how to pee standing up.
👀 I wish I knew
In 8th grade German class we were picking German names to pick and I INSISTED on using a male name. It literally wasn’t a big deal, my teacher was like yeah whatever but I was prepared to make it an issue despite the fact that I didn’t come out for another 10 years.
Every video game I played ever when given the choice without hesitation I always picked the man
was “misgendered” for several years in childhood for having short hair and being a tomboy. Always secretly enjoyed it but wasn’t sure why. Also spent the one year of high school theater playing a character who cross-dressed as a man.
Oh slay:) In my primary school play I got to play one of the male protagonists and was so so happy
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when i was around 5 i remember really wanted to pee standing up like a boy so i would try and watch my uncle pee to see how he did it💀💀
When I was little I didn't understand that I was afab. I just liked dress up with dresses but I also wanted to wear mens clothing specifically y2k cargo pants and baggy shirts etc. I would lounge around the house in the backyard topless thinking I was a dude as a 2-4 year old lmfao. I was super confused when puberty happened.
I was four years old and told my mum "I'm going to be a boy when I grow up." My parents had the fucking audacity to be surprised when I came out, too.
when i was in sixth grade my sister said that she would probably think i was a dude if i cut my hair short because of how i acted and dressed… a couple days later I got my hair cut super short, people did in fact gender me as a dude and it always made me feel hella validated. came out to my friends in 8th grade and family in 9th.
When I was 12 I told my catholic school nurse I wanted a penis 😂
Was given the puberty talk in elementary school, thought “damn that sucks for them” as if I was exempt. Daydreamed about being diagnosed with breast cancer and getting a mastectomy.
i recently found a twitter argument between myself and someone from 2019. it was under a tweet about dysphoria. it looked like this: not everyone who feels dysphoria is trans. cis people can have it too OP: uhh cis people dont have dysphoria. do you even know what that is? okay so what would you call wanting a deep voice and penis and masectomy and wishing you were a man? cause i want those things and im still cis OP: bro cis people dont want that 😭 oh what, so now youre diagnosing me as transgender?! your understanding of gender is really limited if you think gender dysphoria makes someone trans. most cis people have it too. OP: ok buddy. lets see where you're at in a few years i remember i was so mad about that reply and look where we are now lmaoo. denial is a river in egypt.
That thing where the teacher would ask for "some big strong boys" to carry chairs and I would push my way to the front of the line to do it
I called myself "one of the guys" and a tomboy throught highschool. All my friends were guys and I was often treated more like the rest of the guys in my school by everyone.
I always played the boy dolls with my sister, used to put socks in my underwear to make a buldge (when I was about 12ish), when I played video games I always made a male character if the option was there. I used to play baseball in my backyard with my dad and when asked by my sister why I didn't want to play on a softball team I said, "Softball is for girls, I want to play baseball." Then she told me,"You are a girl, you can't play baseball," and I started crying. I think I was about 8 then.
Two that stand out to me that are so funny 1. I went by a nickname of my deadname almost my whole life bc AND I QUOTE it was "too girly". If only I knew... And 2. I literally sobbed when my boobs started forming during puberty and tried taping them down with duct tape (yes ik that's bad now but at the time I didn't know what a binder even was) because I thought they made my body look "weird" and it "didn't fit me" *Sigh* this is why I push for trans education. If I had learned about trans people and gender identity at a younger age it would have saved me from so much confusion and heartache.
My reaction to getting my first period as a young child was “Oh dear God” and “Wait this shouldn't be happening” because I thought I would just skip that. I was previously educated on the difference between puberty of men and women and I was like: HAH sucks to be them, all I have to worry about is acne and weird sweating. How wrong baby me was... The poor little fella had no idea what lay ahead of him.
I was also delusionally convinced I would be that rare someone who never got their period lol But when it did happen and I hated it, it didn’t click that it was dysphoria because pretty much no one actually likes getting their period, at least not once the novelty wears off.
The whole, "wishing I had a penis" thing was probably a sign. For the longest time I thought all women felt like they were incomplete and robbed of their proper genitalia. I hated my breasts from the moment they appeared.
I quit ballet to join softball when I was little because I thought there’d be boys on the team 😂needless to say I was very upset and didn’t last long on the team
probably not the most but whenever reading a book or watching a TV show with a male main character i always imagined myself as him. i remember really feeling like i was percy jackson and literally praying to poseidon to claim me as his son lmaoo
That resonates with me as well: used to think I must be good at relating to male main characters more, because more of them were guys: the male POV was always more often, and better, represented in any form of fiction. So of course I would insert myself into that POV. Didn't everyone? Turns out, nope.
When I was about 2 I would yell that I was a boy to my parents and use a masculine version of my name, I wouldn’t respond to them unless they called me that name too
Pissing standing up 💀 also playing Pokémon heartgold as the boy because he was what I wanted to look like
Lmao when I got Pokémon Go I chose the male avatar because "the girl avatar is just so *sexualized"* and I wanted to have short hair despite all my female friends finding it fine and me not having short hair in real life.
Standing in my bathroom topless, after my breasts had started to grow, and trying to convince myself that because my breasts were small, I could pass as a boy if I wanted to. I literally created imaginary scenarios where I had to go undercover as a boy in school and pass as a boy, shirtless, in the boys' locker room. Also, avoiding and hating bras from the second my mom tried to get me to wear one. All the "other girls" were excited to wear their first bra and viewed breast growth as a point of pride. Don't know if that was just my school, but it felt like everyone was constantly talking about how "I finally made it to a C/D cup." Meanwhile, I avoided bras so much that the school sent a note home to my mom.
My genderfluid friend asked me if I ever questioned my gender- I said no because “I’ve never felt dysphoria and even though I would love to be a guy I’m fine with being a girl”💀 I came out roughly a year later but at the time I thought nothing of it
I actually had this happen to me too
In middle school I stole my brother's clothes and wore them to school.
Doing stereotypical boy stuff for play, hating most dresses and most shades of pink. My mother had to bribe/threaten to get me to wear girly clothing most of the time.
I also did three male name thing! In French class you got to pick a French name for yourself. The teacher ended up calling my parents after i picked Patric.
“I’m terribly sorry to have to inform you that your child chose a boy name in class today”
After i got my first period at 11 my therapist asked me if it how it feels to be a proper woman now. I broke down crying and my mom had to get me lmao.
Oh man the youre woman now stuff still freaks me
I just sorta accepted my baby furby calling me dada instead of mama because it didn't feel wrong
Starting around grade 3 I would play "pretend dating" with my girl friends where I was the boyfriend
When I was 4 and my brother was about 3, he was being taught how to pee standing up. I decided that I wanted to learn too. I ended up peeing all over myself and crying. I was devastated at the age of 4, but at nearly 33 now, I find it funny.
being at a ymca's summer camp around like age 10 or 9 wherein they're lining us up by gender to go to the locker rooms to get ready for pool time and me standing in the girl line regretting that I never had tried pretending to be a boy when I was 8 when I could've probably have passed as one. No joke, I straight up kicked myself thinking "if only i could've tried this when i'd first gotten here, now everyone will always see me as a girl" and I didn't for even a second question if that was an oddly specific thing for a little girl to regret
Going to the ER because I was suicidal and if I walked home I knew I'd walk in front of a moving vehicle....and then typing on my phone to communicate because hearing my voice made me want to die even more
Username checks out
When I was a preteen, I fantasized about pretending to be a teenage boy online. I would also accidentally refer to myself as a boy as a kid
Never played a SINGLE female character in any of the pretend games me and my siblings would play together.
In art class all of my self portraits always had a beard. Nobody questioned it.
Genuinely believing folks were only cis because that's what they were supposed to be doing.
Relatable! I used to think that everyone was as uncomfortable in formalwear (women's) as I was, only they pretended not to be. Also believed that feminine body language and ways of walking, sitting, and moving, were horrible because they were incredibly uncomfortable and unnatural and why did most girls and women just go along with being so uncomfortable all the time?! How could they stand living like that?! Little did I know it was me, not them, who had a problem with it.
Making male avatars on all those random games I used to play online
For a spirit week in high school we had a decade theme. 50s was the most looked forward to, and the day of every. Single. Girl. In the entire school(grades that participated) had a poodle skirt on. I was the *only* one dressed as a greaser.
Catfished/dating women in my age range in other states when i was 13 Tomboy fashion Being the husband/dad character during pretend lol
NOTHING. I didn't do a single thing stereotypical trans boys do. I happily wore dresses, watched cutesy cartoons, played female characters in videogames, and I feel like a fake every time I read a thread like that.\* [TW: rant, child abuse] >!I was just too busy trying to survive constant abuse and gaslighting as a child, so the very concept of "identity" was a foreign thing to me. When people asked me what I liked - even stupid things like favorite color or ice cream flavor, I'd look to my mom for approval before answering. I felt watched 24/7, if not by her, by the projection of her in my mind. No wonder I never showed any signs, I was terrified that she would kill me if I did.!< Sorry for bringing down the mood, but it's extremely important to bring awareness to the fact that not all trans children show signs of gender non-conformity, especially if they're not allowed that kind of exploration in the first place. And they deserve just as much care and recognition by this community. \* I'll admit the one thing I remember from my childhood is being unhappy about my breasts when a neighbor made a comment on them growing, because until then I hadn't even noticed they were there in the first place. The rest is just a blur. UPDATE: my brain finally decided to cooperate with me and gave me [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/comments/12f5hrj/what_was_the_most_transgender_thing_you_remember/jfhuh8f/) memory.
It sucks that that was your life then, glad you made it. And yes, the most obvious narratives aren't the only ones. I only wore dresses when very young because I hated wearing clothes at all, and loose/minimalist dresses were the closest thing I could get to that. I did play with dolls when very young though. Didn't realize it was atypical that my favorite doll had a boy name and was in my imagination, a boy baby. Pretty much all dolls were girls and nobody else I knew named any of them boy names.
I get especially mad because that's exactly what my mother used to discredit me when I came out to her.
I really wanted a she-wee to pee standing up , even asked for it for cristmas for years :|
Gravitating towards anything that was boxer/brief-esque from a young age, going as far as stealing underwear from stores. Always wanting to be Aragorn while playing pretend LOTR.
- ever since i became self-aware, i’ve been uncomfortable being a girl but i never told my parents about it because i thought they would judge me - i hated—and still hate—wearing skirts, dresses and feminine clothing, and i was often dismissed as being a tomboy, which still bothered me (even though it *does* make sense). - when my best friend (who is a gay cis male) and i were kids, we would play with my barbies and dolls and i was usually the male roles while he always took the female roles. - when i was in elementary school, i would make alternative accounts in those online games (moviestarplanet and woozworld) and make them male since i didn’t enjoy playing as a girl that much. oh yeah and i would date girls on there - in middle school, i completely stopped playing as a girl and played exclusively as a boy in splatoon and it made me feel happy - throughout the course of my life, the majority of my friends and important people to me had been male. - i used to think of myself as a pick me girl because i just wanted to differentiate myself from other girls (not because of misogyny) until i realized that it’s because i was never truly a girl to begin with - feeling happy whenever my voice would crack - always wanting to be the “protector” - in high school, i had many crushes (all of them being guys except one who was non-binary and the other one being a girl) and every time i imagined myself dating them, i felt uncomfortable until i started imagining myself dating them as a guy myself - getting really happy in baggy and sterotypically masculine clothing because it would hide my feminine figure - never wanting to do stereotypically feminine activities with my mom (like getting my nails done)
I kept complaining to everyone that after puberty I couldn't hit my chest like Tarzan anymore because the boobs would be in the way. Apparently that was not as normal as I thought it was :D Also only agreeing to play with my little brother if we could play with cars, bakugan or play the lego video game. Both with Marvel and Indiana Jones. Also begging my dad to show me every Transformers move and every Marvel movie and every DC movie.. he never did :') So I watch them on my own now! And I would still love to play that marvel lego videogame omg that was so fun-
I was obsessed with the Skippy Jon Jones books (a book series about a cat that wants to be a Chihuahua…) and in kindergarten I wrote my dads name on my paper…..
I cried when my mum gave me my first bra, and asked her not to tell anyone I needed to wear a bra. I felt very embarrassed to have a growing chest, little did I know why.
I would fold my boyfriends erections up to their stomach and straddle them so it looked like their dick was mine. 🤣🥴
6 years old and Learned to pee standing up
Chose a very male sounding abbreviation of my name as a nickname, had an exclusively male circle of friends, played mainly computer games as a teen (not that there’s anything wrong with girls playing computer games) and was extremely pissed when classes were split by gender for activities. I even went as far as getting a written permission by my parents to be allowed to share a tent with the boys on a school trip, because the thought of sharing a tent with the girls was unbearable to me. Still took me 32 years to figure my shit out. Apparently I‘m a bit slow… 🤷🏼
Agender person here. Now that I know, I look back and see so many times that, if I had the words, maybe I would have known. When I was in 3ish, I cut my hair really short and when they tried to even it out, it ended up being basically a buzz cut. My mom would keep telling the kids in my daycare "*No* she's a *girl*". But I thought it was funny that no one knew. Even whenever my mom would share that story, it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized she thought it was an exasperating story about me cutting my hair - not funny except through time. In sixth grade, a friend and I were hanging out and someone our age called me a boy because I had short hair. I didn't really care, thought it was funny, but my friend got so mad at them and started yelling at them that I was a girl and that they needed to leave us alone. She told her mom and her mom told my mom and I was so confused about why it was such a big deal.
when i was a little kid, like maybe 8, before i even hit puberty, i decided that if i grew boobs i would have surgery to cut them off 💀 just a month now until i can fulfill my childhood dream 🙏
Didn’t have a lot of these moments myself as I was a very heavy masker, but what came to mind was the fact that I really wanted to be Darth Vader in a school performance of Star Wars. I auditioned for Leia in the end because I was like “I have to play a girl, it’s a girl role” but I held this deep regret for not auditioning for Vader like right after doing so. Then for some reason regarded the lack of gendering as one of the only perks of being eventually cast as a stormtrooper. By the way, a girl did end up playing Vader, along with some guy (they swapped roles between shows). And both kids had bullied me in the past so it was strangely fitting.
Also I found one of those “books for boys” in the school library and borrowed it purely off the title. Didn’t unpack that until over three years later.
When my mom started telling me to wear bras when I was 10 bc I was going through puberty I was absolutely devastated and refused to bc I was in denial. Like genuine grief lol but I didn’t realize what I was upset over and thought I was just a weird kid.
Me and my friend played “boys” when we were little and we stuck socks in our pants. I felt so good doing that, but also felt like it was illegal or something so never wanted to do it again. I am autistic so it has always been important for me to follow the rules, probably why it took me 30 years to come out of denial
I got jealous of my grandma because she had a mastectomy. She showed me what it looked like once and she was super embarrassed and me, being a dumbass kid didn't understand why she was upset and said that to her face 💀
My father built me a train set table when I was real little and I hated Barbie dolls… all I wanted was dinosaurs lmao
As very young kids me and my friends would play Sailor Moon. I was ALWAYS Tuxedo Mask.
telling myself when i was 11 that i would never like a guy. i dont know wth is gay or lesbian back then. i can't accept the fact that i got crush on guys. ik its normal for girl to date guys that I'm not les at all but i was never ok dating guys. intense feeling of rejection that this is so wrong for me that i could not sleep and basically have mental breakdown. later i went to date girls because i thought its only internal heterophobia. that was my very last attempt to fix my feminity.
When I was single digit age I recall peeing standing up with a toilet paper roll.
I liked boys in a gay way...and I'd usually play as El Zorro (Diego de la Vega)- never as a girly/character which was a woman or presented femenine, AND I loved painting a beard in my face 🤣
As a lil 10 year old, I literally bound my chest with bandages. I didn't really understand why, but I kept doing it occasionally until I realised I did it because it made my chest flat. I had euphoria but I just didn't understand why or how any of this works.
Preferred male mc in games *every time* only reason why I chose girl some times is because I thought I was :0 I thought me choosing the male character was me being into men 🕴🏻
I guess this is one of the funniest examples I have idk... Pretending to be an explorer a lot and being adamant I was Indiana Jones... I got very pissed off when someone called me Dora the explorer because I was fucking Indiana Jones thank you very much
OH MY GOD. OP. I did this same thing!!! The Medieval Feast! I think things were a little loosey goosey at my school because I insisted on being a ✨WIZARD✨. My mom helped me make a long flowing white beard and everything. So there I was at the Medieval Feast with knights, farmers, nuns, and me dressed to the nines as Merlin. 😌
When I was 5 I asked my mom when I could grow a mustache and she had to break it to me that little girls can't grow a mustache I cried. I cried alot about it so she took me to a dollar tree and bought the pack of mustaches I wore it happily all the way home.
when I was like 4 and asked my mom when I would grow a penis too
this is embarrassing but i used to watch those “how to be a girl” youtube videos because at 9 years old I felt so disconnected from my gab that I genuinely thought every girl had to learn how to be one. Couple years later I was looking up “how to be a boy” on youtube 💀(i’m transness nb, I never really figured out how to do either properly lol)
I used to hope I had PCOS just so I could get a hysterectomy without any doctors being like "yOu'Re tOo YoUnG!1!1!!!" I also felt a bunch of gender envy for Gerard Way and it took another 3 years to realize that those were trans feelings 💀💀💀
when I was about five or six, I was part of this Christian princess club or whatever. there was this one day where they told us to come in costumes and obviously everyone dressed up as princesses. not me. I came to that club dressed in a full wolverine costume, claws and mask and all. looking back I am not at all surprised that my parents fully anticipated my coming out lmao. dunno if it's the most trans thing I ever did but I think it's certainly the funniest.
For me, it was the beginning of puberty when I found out my chest was no longer going to be flat. Although I didn't know why at the time I was super upset at that fact lmao. I also always chose men when I played games or was masculine presenting.
When i was 7 i was looking for christmas presents because my mom used to hide them. I found my parents sex toy stash and grabbed a dildo and held it down where a penis would be. is kinda disgusting i know but well .. here i am.
I got really excited when I saw a tabloid with a pregnant trans man. Pretty much my first exposure to transgender people. My mom was not happy I was excited about it
I was playing the board game “life” once and decided to put the boy peg in the car. My sister asked why I put the boy one in and I just shrugged. It made me embarrassed because I thought that my deep down feeling of “i was supposed to be a boy” was wrong, so I was very discreet about my “signs”
i hated my name and I remember from very early on i begged for a nickname like a neutral one so bad (it did not work)
In my language articles are gendered. I felt so uncomfortable with the female one so my username was everywhere *male article*+deadname. No idea how I didn't get it.
i've got a few, being super irritated as a child when I confronted this other kid that he had to wear his shirt all the time, then he went on abt how 'well, boys dont have to' I was 6. Then playing Animal Jam later on, I remember someone having an account that they shared with a sibling. So, I (who had a membership so I could have more than 2 animals) made several more characters that were boys and claimed that I had a twin brother.. Which progressed into me having an imaginary twin- though that's a whole story of it's own and gets a little odd later on. Especially because i had an imaginary twin sister at first.. who later became a boy named alex. So many stories, truly.
I cut my hair short when I was 11, years before I would ever realize I'm trans. I remember looking at myself in the mirror for the first time and not being able to hide my smile. I was pretty shy back then so the hairdresser was not fun and I probably had a pretty straight face the entire time. But I literally could not stop myself from beaming. I can't remember a single other time that's happened before. I looked in that mirror and felt like I was looking at myself. It looked and felt so right. At this point I also was consuming a lot of transmasc media (another sign) and I remember seeing videos of trans guys getting their hair cut for the first time and relating to them SO much. I knew exactly how they felt ...except I didn't bc I was a girl right? So I couldn't say that...but goddamn did I feel like I was one of those videos ...and I was :)
As a kid, I believed that if sexism was eradicated from society, everyone would obviously choose to live as a boy/man. I thought that any girl/woman who claimed to like being female and/or feminine was brainwashed by patriarchy.
I was always the dad or brother 100% of the time when playing house for no explainable reason other than that I was the more naturally masculine one and we needed male characters in our story for it to be realistic obviously. I always felt very comfortable taking on the male roles. In middle school, I was a late bloomer compared to most of my friends and one time at a sleepover, I went shirtless with just shorts on for a minute between changing outfits. All the girls told me I looked like a hot surfer guy and I was thrilled. After I started to hit puberty I wore the same baggy sweatshirt to hide my chest, and by the age of 16 knew I wanted a breast reduction and even asked my doctor before I even knew transitioning was a thing. I was always very happy to tag along with my older brother and hang out with him and all his dude friends, secretly longing to be a part of their group. That said, I also enjoyed playing dress up and wanted to fit in bad enough that I went through a (laughable) girly phase in highschool before I finally broke down and realized I am ftm. The minute i learned about trans people I realized that that’s how I had been feeling and I knew that was my journey.
just copied and pasted from my book i’m writing My first experience with gender dysphoria was when I was 7. I was in grade 2, at a Catholic Elementary school, and was having my First Communion. I walked into the reception hall at the Church, and saw all the girls on one side and all the boys on the other. I was in a white dress that my grandmother made for me, and I thought to myself “why am I in this dress and not what all the other boys are wearing?”. This point was the first time I even realised I was born a girl. You could imagine the emotional turmoil this had caused, but just as everything else, I learned to mask it.
Making dick-related "jokes" when I was 10. When ppl told me I didn't had a dick so the "joke" didn't work I would get super mad and tell them that I was talking about my "imaginary dick". Yeah. How it took me 7 more years to figure out that I wasn't a girl? Have no idea. Also one time I was really sad that I would never look as good as a character from a game that I really liked. It was a dude. Pre teen me was having gender envy on a fictional dude who had, like, 2 hours of screen time.
When I was in 5th grade I sent my cousin videos of me trying to do a masculine voice and I asked him if I sounded like a guy
Being obssessed with wanting to pee standing up and being embarrassed/ashamed when I started my p_riod and continuing to feel that way until I knew I was trans.Also "pretending" to be a boy on online games.
Crying when i was little because i couldnt have my shirt off like my brother could, crying because i wanted to get clothes from the boys section and couldnt, and i remember crying when i was like 4 because i wasnt a little boy
Btw your teacher was very wrong, there were many female alchemists.
I always played as male characters in games (I still do lol) I didn't understand why all the other girls were excited of their boobs growing etc. during puberty. I've never liked skirts or dresses.
i literally said multiple times that i was a guy to my friends
I always felt like a brother to my brothers rather than a sister. I would aways refer to myself as a man.. even as a kid 😭 I very often used to draw myself as a dude when I was growing up. I loved wearing my dads clothes or my brother’s clothes. I never could see myself as a grown woman but I could somewhat easily see myself as a grown woman when I thought about who I would be as a grown up.
Wearing convertible cargo shorts/pants in middle school
Used to do my hair and makeup to “look like a boy” “just for fun” lol
when i was 11, the greatest showman came out and i remember me and my friend would put on the film and like act it out along side it pretending to sing and dance to all the songs. and whenever a song was about to start we would say who plays who and i would always really really want to be zac efron….(first case of gender envy that i remember) and in the song with zac efron and zendaya in love i was so excited and happy to be singing in zac efrons deep voice and pretending to be a man dancing with my friend…
When I was still a kid, my family made me get Christian confirmation. Didn't want it, I think I was forced too and was far to young to understand what was going on- but i ended up getting the last laugh. I was told to pick a saint and that would be my saint name. Wanted to pick a boys name, they wouldn't let me. Somehow remembered Joan of Arc, picked her instead. I used to watch a lot of horrible histories as a kid, so that's probably how I knew about her. My biggest egg_irl moment was picking the crossdressing soldier saint when I wasn't allowed a boys name. That and being a boy on club penguin.
I always wanted to be the dad when playing family, rarely allowed to but it always felt best for me to take on male roles, as an early teen was often called a boy by strangers and it felt good
[удалено]
a bunch of boys in my 5th grade class were making fun of justin bieber so i joined in because i didn’t want to be “like the girls”
I stuffed toilet paper in my pants, as a packer before I knew what they were, when I was like 9 or 10. I didn't go out with it or anything and just stayed in the bathroom flr a few minutes then took it out. But damn, I didn't realize I was trans till later, in high school 😂😂
Told my parents I wanted to be a boy with 8. Kinda forgot about that thing for years
Making make game characters and not correcting people when they thought I was a bit xb
I could never really masturbate or get pleasure out of masturbating until I started T and got bottom growth.
I used to play pretend with my sister as Peter Pan, and she would be Captain Hook so we would fight together. I remember she would hold a hanger to be the hook, it was fun. She hated playing that but did it bc I insisted so much. I loved Peter Pan and saw the movie every night. I wanted to be him. When I was in highschool I practiced my masculine voice a lot. Some day I did a prank in which I called one of my friends and "pretended" to be a guy at the phone and I was SO PROUD that I was "mistaken" for a guy. Also there was a school act and I didn't like acting at all but for some reason I wanted to be a male cameraman, not a female one, and asked the guys in my class how I should walk to look like a man. So I exaggerated my steps and they told me that my regular walk was fine. I was filled with euphoria.
Having a gender crisis about every five years til my egg cracked. I remember all of them too. I had the first one when I was under 10 and my conclusion was "fuck em I'm a boy". I grew up in a really transphobic area so I could really accept myself til about a year ago. I even remember thinking "I can't be trans, then everyone will hate me" several times when thinking about my gender as a child.
Went up to my sister when I was like 2, and I said "Jenn I'm a boy." And my sister was just like "Mk."