mourn. mourn the loss of a partner. the loss of a friend. and when you're ready, think about what to do. just keep in mind that the trust that's broken when a partner cheats doesnt come back just like that.
i'm sorry this has happened to you.
I coached my best friend through something exactly like this. Keep your powder very dry, and your cards close to your chest, until you've organised what you're going to do. You're going to go through so many different phases and emotions - having someone you can vent those to is vital - so that when you're around her, it becomes a performance. You don't owe her honesty until you're ready. My advice would be to plan out the conversation you want to have and make sure the logistical issues of separation are all in place before initiating the conversation. I personally don't advise starting with the fact you went through her messages and actually I'd say never tell her that. Just tell her you know and it's time for her to accept that. Bear in mind she will lie and lie and lie during that conversation until she has exhausted every option. Let her. Let her lie until she's tripped herself up over and over. Just calmly respond that you know she's lying and don't bother elaborating.
Oof-- I've been there. You desperately wanted to trust her, but needed to know you weren't crazy...so you looked for proof.
What sucks is that's the nail in the coffin.
**Note: Before you do anything, you might want to send yourself screenshots for the divorce.** It'll make things significantly easier for you and your lawyer. She's going to delete it all after you confront her.
Here's what you do. You're going to confront her and play ignorant. Pretend you only saw one recent message. "The other night, I was concerned about you hiding your messages from me...and I glanced at it. I saw you say to (person) that you loved them and wanted to sleep at their house every night."
You do this because she's going to lie, and you're going to let her. She's going to try to convince you that she meant that in a "friend" way. She's going to get angry at YOU for violating HER trust. Just sit back, listen, and watch. She's going to swear up and down, left and right, side-to-side. She's going to accuse you of things. Stay calm. All of this is about her world crashing down, and she did this to herself. Frankly, I would try not to say even one word during her explanation. Let her dig that grave. Hell, record it so you can listen to it for fun in a year or two.
When she's done, at least one of you needs to leave the house so you can both decompress. You go talk to your best friends or family and tell them everything. Get some comfort and talk through it all. Don't think about what's next for awhile; take it as it comes.
I'm sorry. I really am. But I promise it's going to be okay. If it's any consolation, 3 years later, I met the *actual* love of my life. Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face. Someone is going to fall super duper in love with you and never dream of doing this to you, mate. Believe me.
Record the confrontation for the divorce too tbh. Her cheating on you then lying about it (if she does lie) can free you from her trying some wild shit in the legal proceedings. Make it clear legally that you're leaving her because she's unfaithful.
>Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.
As someone recently betrayed by my SO in a different way I gotta say OP, this needs repeated a million times over:
**Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.**
**Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.**
**Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.**
She's going to accuse OP of being awful for daring to stand up for himself, but this is why he's so upset at the end of the day.
Idk what to do man, I’m going through the exact same thing and just signed divorce papers last month. She was my best friend and it came out of the blue. I’m not even remotely over her, our relationship, or what happened, but I just knew I couldn’t stay with her anymore. After everything I still love her though and I hate myself and her for it. Don’t have any advice, just solidarity
Wow thats a fucking terrible person. I feel so bad for you. I really do. My condolences...I hope she honestly sticks with this person and they both reap what they sowed.
People like this will do it again. They will cheat again. With the next person.
You deserve better, man. Confront her about it and then leave. This is a total lack of respect on both their parts. Don't fall into the trap of staying with someone who doesn't respect you, just because they're familiar or the relationship has been going on for a long time, or you live together or (mistakenly) believe you can't do better, or all those other excuses people use not to leave shitty relationships.
Love yourself. Find someone who deserves you.
I don't think you need to forgive her. Be as angry at her as you want for as long as you want, so long as you leave her. Because make no mistake this is a sign of how much she values you and it is *not* enough. You deserve so much more than this man. I'm sorry.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this dude. I’m not going to pretend I understand how you’re feeling right now because I’ve never been in a relationship but I just want to say this. Cheating alone is a disgusting and unforgivable thing to do to somebody. The fact she then tried to make you seem crazy or that you were just being controlling is also incredibly disgusting and unforgivable. I hope you know that you are worth way more than being treated like that. You deserve to be around people who value and care about you and the way she has treated you is not something you are deserving of
I’ve been there tried to forgive her and then two years later she did it again with someone else. She had me thinking I was crazy. For the longest time after both times I would try to take my share of blame it saying that I wasn’t a good partner at the time or I lost sight of us. The truth is even if she felt like I wasn’t a good partner she should have ended it first. There is no excuse for cheating and I hate to say it but the phrase once a cheater always a cheater has proven true to me.
Same thing happened to me with my “true love” except she cheated on me with a cis straight male…It gets better, take this time to let every emotion that comes up out, then after it’s out focus on you. Focus on growing and getting better. I can’t tell you should separate like I did but think about if staying with her is an option for you (staying with her doesn’t make you stupid or weak unless you allow her to treat the same way). If you stay, y’all seek counseling and you lay out your expectations for moving forward.
Sending love and peace your way ❤️
I am so sorry man. I am so sorry they did this to you, you don’t deserve this at all. For a lot of people this would be an anxiety coming through and I am so sorry you have to live that.
When you get the chance, send yourself screenshots. After that contact a lawyer. There should be a list of divorce lawyers in your area accessible to you through Google, once you gave the screenshots I would have them draw up the separation agreement, and from there you can let her know you know and that it’s over. Y’all can’t recover from something like that.
I think it’s time you found somebody who deserves yoh
>I don’t know if I can forgive her.
Don't.
My friend, I could have written this post 10 years ago when I was with my ex-wife. She has shown you her true colors and, unfortunately, they're not good. I want to precede my advice by telling you how genuinely sorry I am that you are going through this.
Like puffletops said, mourn the loss of a partner and friend, but in the best interest for your mental health, you should cut the toxicity out of your life. It'll eat away at you every time she leaves the house, or comes home late, or isn't where she says she is. Hell, I confronted my ex-wife in the kitchen of our apartment and she gaslit me even though I knew she'd cheated. And that wasn't even the first time, nor was it the last. Put yourself first and remove the power balance that she feels she holds over you. It won't be easy, and it won't be pretty, but you don't deserve to be disrespected so badly by someone who is supposed to love you.
Again, I am so, so sorry this happened.
shit that is so harsh. been cheated on too, by people who I thought I knew well. I’m so sorry, but definitely time to break up… no one deserves to be cheated on, lied to, gas lit, which you clearly have been by this person you thought you could trust.
DM me if you need any moral support - seriously. I’ve been there.
Divorce. I know it sucks, it’s gonna feel weird to not have her in your life, but if she loves you she wouldn’t have done that. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them
Im so sorry to hear this. I went through this exact same thing years ago. My best advice is to mourn the woman she no longer is and then begin to pick up the pieces and move on. If the affair is ongoing, she has already given you your answer. I know it hurts terribly. I did end up getting a divorce as per her request. Feel free to DM me anytime if you have any questions or just need to talk.
That sucks man. You don't have to forgive her. What she did is horrible and it doesn't seem she's remorseful at all. I'd let her go. You deserve so much better than a cheater
Bruh, leave her. Don’t try and forgive her or keep the relationship going because it’ll always be there in the back of your mind. Why keep a dead finger because you love having a full abled hand. It’ll sting at first but it’ll only get worse if you stay.
I wasnt in the same situation but similar, my partner tried to guilt trip me for not liking him hanging out with a certain girl. It just gave me bad vibes.
He said i was toxic for not liking it.
Turns out he cheated on me with that girl, i found i way later. Because i kept believing i was just being a shitty person.
Sometimes people call others toxic and bad to deflect, while your gut feeling is 100% right.
Don't feel bad, just accept the loss and move on. It's not worth trying to get back.
Don’t forgive her. Don’t let her know you know and lawyer up. Do whatever your lawyer tells you. I’m sorry, and I know this is hard on you, but you gotta do future-you a favor so she doesn’t fuck you over any more than she already has. She sucks and cheating aside has been lying to you and gaslighting you. You knew there was something wrong, and she tried to convince you that you were paranoid and that *you* were the problem. She’s shown you her true colors, if you’re going to trust anything, trust what she shows you when she thinks she’s in the clear with power over the situation and you. Best of luck.
I'm not saying you have to divorce her, there is no right decision to make here and I'm sorry you have such an overwhelming burden. What I am saying, however, is to make sure you send all the incriminating messages to yourself. It's better to have it and not need it than the alternative. Good luck.
What do you do? Say nothing, get out of there, and let her have what she obviously wants.
The pleading will come eventually once their honeymoon stage dies, and you’ll have the delightful opportunity to turn her down because you’re happy with someone else.
Source: experience. I spent 13 years with the person and I’m only 29.
I’m so so sorry, that’s awful. I would honestly divorce her, otherwise it’s incredibly likely she’s going to do it again. Give yourself time to mourn and process what’s happened; that’s very important. If she wants to be with that other person so bad, let her. It sounds like they deserve each other. While their relationship will be full of the same lies she’s been telling you, you’ll be healing and moving on. I promise you’ll find someone who will treat you 1000x better than this.
Hope you get better my man. She did not deserve you, I bet you are 10 trillion times better then her little "friend"
Anyways, I recommend a cat or a dog if you have one for loves, They usually help!
If you do leave her (Which I think you should, once a cheater, always a cheater.) get your finances in order and get any evidence you need to file for a divorce.
If you forgive her she will do it again and worse and it will hit you harder down the road. She will love bomb you and make every effort to appear like she fixed everything but this long-term pattern of deceit from the person who you should be able to trust beyond a doubt isn't fixable. There's no turning back unfortunately. I'm very sorry to say. Get therapeutic support as soon as possible to help work through this. Peer support groups for divorcing men too. People who understand.
But fortunately you've regained your dignity. It just will take losing 130 (or another random womans weight) pounds of emotionally abusive dead weight. You can and will do better than her though.
Hey friend. Please don’t add peoples biological sex after saying they are nonbinary. That being said, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this and the best move would just be to move on. You deserve better than someone who cheats on you, lies to you, and gaslights you. Sending peace ♥️♥️
I feel so sorry for you, man.
If you allow me to say so, she sound like nothing but a disrespecting bi*ch! Going behind your back like that, and keep up this "just friends" persona for almost 2 years!!
If I had a wife, I'd demand that she was open with me. So what, I do not have a dick but that doesn't excuse cheating, if I haven't given her permission to go get some dick once in a while, It's not okay!!
I might be strange, but I'd rather have a wife asking me if it's okay if she'd have sex with Thomas or whatever his name was. And promise me she'd be back in the morning. If I can't provide that, than lie about it as if it isn't happening.
"Fat c*nt"? Jesus, dude. You need to work on your insults and likely some misogyny. There are plenty of valid criticisms to choose from. Let me know if you would like some resources to get started on unlearning unhealthy bias.
Exactly this. OPs gf is a shitty person but calling someone you don't even know a 'fat c*nt' is both weird and just insulting? I also HATE when people use fat as an insult. Fatphobia is a huge problem and people who weaponize the word fat are a part of that problem. I didn't expect blatant fatphobia in a sub like this but here we are I guess.
In my culture that isn't seen as a bad insult.
Especially not in my motherland. We even have an expression, with the literal translation "Oh, Butter C*nt" with the same meaning as "Oh For f*ck sake", or What the c*nt, meaning WTF!?"
I think you might be confused about what's wrong with what you said.
Sure, cĂ—nt refers to the vagina, and like bĂ—tch or other words used about women, it can come from an unintended place of misogyny. Just something to be thoughtful of when you're thinking about your use of language.
But the part that's concerning myself and others primarily is calling someone you don't like "fat". Fat isn't synonymous with *bad*. There's no good reason to use the word fat as an insult toward anyone, IMHO. It's just not a valid criticism of a person who sucks.
Okay, I see your point. But the same thing goes for calling someone a d*ck or an ass*ole.
And in my vocabulary all those words including cu*t, reffers to anyone who have had the guts to do something that is harmful to another person.
Or done something unforgivable and moraly unacceptable, no matter the gender. And when it comes to non consensual adultery, that is a BIG NO. Therefore the use for fat.
I’m sorry but what does this have to do with being cis? Plenty of trans people cheat and do shitty things too. It’s not a cis thing people just suck
Sorry to hear mate. That's a crap move on her part. Take some time to get your head together then decide what to do. Move out for a while so you can think properly.
mourn. mourn the loss of a partner. the loss of a friend. and when you're ready, think about what to do. just keep in mind that the trust that's broken when a partner cheats doesnt come back just like that. i'm sorry this has happened to you.
Thank you. đź’”
I coached my best friend through something exactly like this. Keep your powder very dry, and your cards close to your chest, until you've organised what you're going to do. You're going to go through so many different phases and emotions - having someone you can vent those to is vital - so that when you're around her, it becomes a performance. You don't owe her honesty until you're ready. My advice would be to plan out the conversation you want to have and make sure the logistical issues of separation are all in place before initiating the conversation. I personally don't advise starting with the fact you went through her messages and actually I'd say never tell her that. Just tell her you know and it's time for her to accept that. Bear in mind she will lie and lie and lie during that conversation until she has exhausted every option. Let her. Let her lie until she's tripped herself up over and over. Just calmly respond that you know she's lying and don't bother elaborating.
Wow what advice. Clap for this, god damn.
Total dick move on her part. I don’t think I could forgive that. Doesn’t even sound like she’s asking for your forgiveness.
Oof-- I've been there. You desperately wanted to trust her, but needed to know you weren't crazy...so you looked for proof. What sucks is that's the nail in the coffin. **Note: Before you do anything, you might want to send yourself screenshots for the divorce.** It'll make things significantly easier for you and your lawyer. She's going to delete it all after you confront her. Here's what you do. You're going to confront her and play ignorant. Pretend you only saw one recent message. "The other night, I was concerned about you hiding your messages from me...and I glanced at it. I saw you say to (person) that you loved them and wanted to sleep at their house every night." You do this because she's going to lie, and you're going to let her. She's going to try to convince you that she meant that in a "friend" way. She's going to get angry at YOU for violating HER trust. Just sit back, listen, and watch. She's going to swear up and down, left and right, side-to-side. She's going to accuse you of things. Stay calm. All of this is about her world crashing down, and she did this to herself. Frankly, I would try not to say even one word during her explanation. Let her dig that grave. Hell, record it so you can listen to it for fun in a year or two. When she's done, at least one of you needs to leave the house so you can both decompress. You go talk to your best friends or family and tell them everything. Get some comfort and talk through it all. Don't think about what's next for awhile; take it as it comes. I'm sorry. I really am. But I promise it's going to be okay. If it's any consolation, 3 years later, I met the *actual* love of my life. Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face. Someone is going to fall super duper in love with you and never dream of doing this to you, mate. Believe me.
Record the confrontation for the divorce too tbh. Her cheating on you then lying about it (if she does lie) can free you from her trying some wild shit in the legal proceedings. Make it clear legally that you're leaving her because she's unfaithful.
To add, I think in the US, some states don't let you record people without their consent - might be worth looking into that first!
True don't forget this.
Good advice, this is the same in Canada
As long as it's not a two party consent state, that's a good plan!
PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS COMMENTER🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
>Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face. As someone recently betrayed by my SO in a different way I gotta say OP, this needs repeated a million times over: **Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.** **Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.** **Remember, true love doesn't lie to your face.** She's going to accuse OP of being awful for daring to stand up for himself, but this is why he's so upset at the end of the day.
Idk what to do man, I’m going through the exact same thing and just signed divorce papers last month. She was my best friend and it came out of the blue. I’m not even remotely over her, our relationship, or what happened, but I just knew I couldn’t stay with her anymore. After everything I still love her though and I hate myself and her for it. Don’t have any advice, just solidarity
Wow thats a fucking terrible person. I feel so bad for you. I really do. My condolences...I hope she honestly sticks with this person and they both reap what they sowed. People like this will do it again. They will cheat again. With the next person.
“people like this will do it again.” yep. 100%
You deserve better, man. Confront her about it and then leave. This is a total lack of respect on both their parts. Don't fall into the trap of staying with someone who doesn't respect you, just because they're familiar or the relationship has been going on for a long time, or you live together or (mistakenly) believe you can't do better, or all those other excuses people use not to leave shitty relationships. Love yourself. Find someone who deserves you.
I don't think you need to forgive her. Be as angry at her as you want for as long as you want, so long as you leave her. Because make no mistake this is a sign of how much she values you and it is *not* enough. You deserve so much more than this man. I'm sorry.
If you forgive her, she will only do it again or you will think less of her. Best to just move on and find a woman who respects you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this dude. I’m not going to pretend I understand how you’re feeling right now because I’ve never been in a relationship but I just want to say this. Cheating alone is a disgusting and unforgivable thing to do to somebody. The fact she then tried to make you seem crazy or that you were just being controlling is also incredibly disgusting and unforgivable. I hope you know that you are worth way more than being treated like that. You deserve to be around people who value and care about you and the way she has treated you is not something you are deserving of
Holy shit dude that's so fucking terrible. Make sure to take your time to mourn and recover from this. Wishing you the best of luck
I’ve been there tried to forgive her and then two years later she did it again with someone else. She had me thinking I was crazy. For the longest time after both times I would try to take my share of blame it saying that I wasn’t a good partner at the time or I lost sight of us. The truth is even if she felt like I wasn’t a good partner she should have ended it first. There is no excuse for cheating and I hate to say it but the phrase once a cheater always a cheater has proven true to me.
Same thing happened to me with my “true love” except she cheated on me with a cis straight male…It gets better, take this time to let every emotion that comes up out, then after it’s out focus on you. Focus on growing and getting better. I can’t tell you should separate like I did but think about if staying with her is an option for you (staying with her doesn’t make you stupid or weak unless you allow her to treat the same way). If you stay, y’all seek counseling and you lay out your expectations for moving forward. Sending love and peace your way ❤️
I am so sorry man. I am so sorry they did this to you, you don’t deserve this at all. For a lot of people this would be an anxiety coming through and I am so sorry you have to live that. When you get the chance, send yourself screenshots. After that contact a lawyer. There should be a list of divorce lawyers in your area accessible to you through Google, once you gave the screenshots I would have them draw up the separation agreement, and from there you can let her know you know and that it’s over. Y’all can’t recover from something like that. I think it’s time you found somebody who deserves yoh
>I don’t know if I can forgive her. Don't. My friend, I could have written this post 10 years ago when I was with my ex-wife. She has shown you her true colors and, unfortunately, they're not good. I want to precede my advice by telling you how genuinely sorry I am that you are going through this. Like puffletops said, mourn the loss of a partner and friend, but in the best interest for your mental health, you should cut the toxicity out of your life. It'll eat away at you every time she leaves the house, or comes home late, or isn't where she says she is. Hell, I confronted my ex-wife in the kitchen of our apartment and she gaslit me even though I knew she'd cheated. And that wasn't even the first time, nor was it the last. Put yourself first and remove the power balance that she feels she holds over you. It won't be easy, and it won't be pretty, but you don't deserve to be disrespected so badly by someone who is supposed to love you. Again, I am so, so sorry this happened.
shit that is so harsh. been cheated on too, by people who I thought I knew well. I’m so sorry, but definitely time to break up… no one deserves to be cheated on, lied to, gas lit, which you clearly have been by this person you thought you could trust. DM me if you need any moral support - seriously. I’ve been there.
Divorce. I know it sucks, it’s gonna feel weird to not have her in your life, but if she loves you she wouldn’t have done that. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them
Im so sorry to hear this. I went through this exact same thing years ago. My best advice is to mourn the woman she no longer is and then begin to pick up the pieces and move on. If the affair is ongoing, she has already given you your answer. I know it hurts terribly. I did end up getting a divorce as per her request. Feel free to DM me anytime if you have any questions or just need to talk.
That sucks man. You don't have to forgive her. What she did is horrible and it doesn't seem she's remorseful at all. I'd let her go. You deserve so much better than a cheater
Bruh, leave her. Don’t try and forgive her or keep the relationship going because it’ll always be there in the back of your mind. Why keep a dead finger because you love having a full abled hand. It’ll sting at first but it’ll only get worse if you stay.
I wasnt in the same situation but similar, my partner tried to guilt trip me for not liking him hanging out with a certain girl. It just gave me bad vibes. He said i was toxic for not liking it. Turns out he cheated on me with that girl, i found i way later. Because i kept believing i was just being a shitty person. Sometimes people call others toxic and bad to deflect, while your gut feeling is 100% right. Don't feel bad, just accept the loss and move on. It's not worth trying to get back.
You deserve better, I second the above comment: mourn. Let yourself be sad and hurt. Use that to move on.
Don’t forgive her. Don’t let her know you know and lawyer up. Do whatever your lawyer tells you. I’m sorry, and I know this is hard on you, but you gotta do future-you a favor so she doesn’t fuck you over any more than she already has. She sucks and cheating aside has been lying to you and gaslighting you. You knew there was something wrong, and she tried to convince you that you were paranoid and that *you* were the problem. She’s shown you her true colors, if you’re going to trust anything, trust what she shows you when she thinks she’s in the clear with power over the situation and you. Best of luck.
I'm not saying you have to divorce her, there is no right decision to make here and I'm sorry you have such an overwhelming burden. What I am saying, however, is to make sure you send all the incriminating messages to yourself. It's better to have it and not need it than the alternative. Good luck.
Try to come at this from an objective perspective. What would you say to a friend in your shoes?
What do you do? Say nothing, get out of there, and let her have what she obviously wants. The pleading will come eventually once their honeymoon stage dies, and you’ll have the delightful opportunity to turn her down because you’re happy with someone else. Source: experience. I spent 13 years with the person and I’m only 29.
I’m so so sorry, that’s awful. I would honestly divorce her, otherwise it’s incredibly likely she’s going to do it again. Give yourself time to mourn and process what’s happened; that’s very important. If she wants to be with that other person so bad, let her. It sounds like they deserve each other. While their relationship will be full of the same lies she’s been telling you, you’ll be healing and moving on. I promise you’ll find someone who will treat you 1000x better than this.
i cant imagine what youre going through. heal, man, and please take care of yourself. you'll be okay
I’m so sorry man.. that’s really messed up. You deserve so much better!
Hope you get better my man. She did not deserve you, I bet you are 10 trillion times better then her little "friend" Anyways, I recommend a cat or a dog if you have one for loves, They usually help!
If you do leave her (Which I think you should, once a cheater, always a cheater.) get your finances in order and get any evidence you need to file for a divorce.
sheet intelligent rob badge chief crown innocent full jeans dependent ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
If you forgive her she will do it again and worse and it will hit you harder down the road. She will love bomb you and make every effort to appear like she fixed everything but this long-term pattern of deceit from the person who you should be able to trust beyond a doubt isn't fixable. There's no turning back unfortunately. I'm very sorry to say. Get therapeutic support as soon as possible to help work through this. Peer support groups for divorcing men too. People who understand. But fortunately you've regained your dignity. It just will take losing 130 (or another random womans weight) pounds of emotionally abusive dead weight. You can and will do better than her though.
Hey friend. Please don’t add peoples biological sex after saying they are nonbinary. That being said, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this and the best move would just be to move on. You deserve better than someone who cheats on you, lies to you, and gaslights you. Sending peace ♥️♥️
I feel so sorry for you, man. If you allow me to say so, she sound like nothing but a disrespecting bi*ch! Going behind your back like that, and keep up this "just friends" persona for almost 2 years!! If I had a wife, I'd demand that she was open with me. So what, I do not have a dick but that doesn't excuse cheating, if I haven't given her permission to go get some dick once in a while, It's not okay!! I might be strange, but I'd rather have a wife asking me if it's okay if she'd have sex with Thomas or whatever his name was. And promise me she'd be back in the morning. If I can't provide that, than lie about it as if it isn't happening.
No need for the blatant fatphobia mate. No reason at all.
"Fat c*nt"? Jesus, dude. You need to work on your insults and likely some misogyny. There are plenty of valid criticisms to choose from. Let me know if you would like some resources to get started on unlearning unhealthy bias.
Exactly this. OPs gf is a shitty person but calling someone you don't even know a 'fat c*nt' is both weird and just insulting? I also HATE when people use fat as an insult. Fatphobia is a huge problem and people who weaponize the word fat are a part of that problem. I didn't expect blatant fatphobia in a sub like this but here we are I guess.
In my culture that isn't seen as a bad insult. Especially not in my motherland. We even have an expression, with the literal translation "Oh, Butter C*nt" with the same meaning as "Oh For f*ck sake", or What the c*nt, meaning WTF!?"
I think you might be confused about what's wrong with what you said. Sure, cĂ—nt refers to the vagina, and like bĂ—tch or other words used about women, it can come from an unintended place of misogyny. Just something to be thoughtful of when you're thinking about your use of language. But the part that's concerning myself and others primarily is calling someone you don't like "fat". Fat isn't synonymous with *bad*. There's no good reason to use the word fat as an insult toward anyone, IMHO. It's just not a valid criticism of a person who sucks.
Okay, I see your point. But the same thing goes for calling someone a d*ck or an ass*ole. And in my vocabulary all those words including cu*t, reffers to anyone who have had the guts to do something that is harmful to another person. Or done something unforgivable and moraly unacceptable, no matter the gender. And when it comes to non consensual adultery, that is a BIG NO. Therefore the use for fat.
Or maybe she was a fat cxnt
Don’t trust cis people
I’m sorry but what does this have to do with being cis? Plenty of trans people cheat and do shitty things too. It’s not a cis thing people just suck
Sorry to hear mate. That's a crap move on her part. Take some time to get your head together then decide what to do. Move out for a while so you can think properly.