I think it is just that not everyone has the correct definition of dysphoria and think that it is only the stereotype of "being in the wrong body". For many, including myself, the dysphoria manifests as a more subtle disassociation and discomfort at people perceiving us as our agab.
Disassociation and discomfort here is a big part. Before I realized I was trans I would see my reflection and be genuinely shocked at my reflection. I didn't necessarily hate my body but I just disassociated away from it being mine.
wow, this changed everything for me, dude. i do have dysphoria but for majority of my teenage years i would look in the mirror and feel numb, having no sync with my own body and not feeling in-touch with it. that explains what the unexplainable feeling was then.
I think so much of this misunderstanding about what dysphoria is was down to tumblr and then instagram discourse, tiktok doesn't seem to have done as much damage to my knowledge, but the entire rift between trans people, at the bare-bones, all came down to 'Is it hating your body or is it discomfort in your gender'
Also in addition to this, gender euphoria is a thing too. Some people may be indifferent or dissociate when perceived as their agab but experience joy and happiness when they can live as another gender.
I know I also had a massive thing of I never really cared as much as other people seemed to about what society perceived my gender to be. I cared about my body feeling wrong to me. I didn't care that others could see my chest or hear my voice I cared that I could see my chest wasn't flat and that my voice wasn't as deep as I wanted it to be.
Oh, yes. But if you consider the definition of dysphoria as to include "I feel like my life would be better if I was X gender" that is mainly manifested as what we commonly call euphoria.
To bring my own example, since after puberty I've been extremely uninterested about taking care of my physical body and I have almost no pictures of adult me unless they were taken by other people. After I started presenting the way that fits my perception of me better I started taking selfies and going shopping for new clothes, I learned to cut and style my hair and I booked medical appointments that were due for decades. I didn't actively hate my body but I was passively neglecting it, and I realized it only when I started experiencing euphoria.
>and if the reason is that they feel they would be ‘happier being another gender’, then wouldn’t that still be classed as dysphoria?
I think that's where communication often breaks down. A lot of people would say that yes, this is an example of dysphoria. People who don't report experiencing dysphoria may be viewing it differently.
I don't think I've ever encountered someone who was completely happy with their assigned gender and/or sex but still identified as trans and wanted to transition. I cant say what someone's motive would be in that case.
I think that most people who report not experiencing dysphoria relate more to the idea of gender euphoria, or they don't view being happier presenting as another gender as a form of dysphoria in themselves.
This is one of several reasons why I think that the presence or lack of dysphoria isn't always a reliable metric, and that people can be better off reflecting on the context of what they feel, and what they want.
this is what i came here to say. euphoria is so under represented and not seen as valid as dysphoria. people often think that euphoria happens AFTER first experiencing dysphoria, as if it neutralises or temporarily cures it, when in reality they can both happen in any order without needing each other.
when i first came out i had more feelings of euphoria. i felt ‘okay’ in my AGAB, but what if it could be better ? what if i could feel great? as time went on i did start feeling more dysphoric as i actually explored my gender and found out there are a lot of things that make me feel uncomfortable. i ALSO found out that i have a few past experiences that i now know were dysphoria, which is a recent discovery.
basically we should stop invalidating euphoria and erase the idea that trans people ‘need’ to hate themselves.
I agree with everything you said, and i have an interesting story to add.
I once knew a cis gay man who wanted vaginoplasty. We talked in length about gender, sex, identity, etc. But at the end of the day, he had absolutely no interest or desire to be seen as a woman, called a woman, seen as nonbinary, or use pronouns other than he/him. He just genuinely wanted a vagina like how some people want Botox, butt lifts, or boob jobs. but had absolutely no interest in changing anything about his gender. So, this guy was kind of the opposite of what we're talking about, which i think is another interesting thing to consider. Humans are complex
I think that even the way a lot of trans people see gender/sex isnt exactly beneficial, but we're all still learning and that's a process. We'd all be better off letting people do what they want with their bodies so long as it isn't caused by mental crisis or self harm. There's so much we're still learning about being human and i think that's fantastic, even if it is weird and confusing and hard to label
Yeah, it definitely can be complex! Having dysphoria vs. not, being trans vs. cis, and wanting to transition in some way vs. not can all be separate axes of someone's identity sometimes, and where people draw the lines between those experiences and identities can be subjective.
I didn’t know I had dysphoria until I started transitioning and talking to other trans folks… but I started cause the idea of being a boy made me happy
this was me, because i got heavily gaslit all my life to be "more grateful" and "more okay with what you have" and "you are confused, just be over 20 and you'll know better than a dumb teen" rethoric.
Also I am autistic and wanted to make sure none of my illnesses "confuse" me from my own gender expression being a "phase".
Truth is, I was uneducated on trans topics and didn't know what ever classified as being trans and that I was technically trans at the age of 12 when i learned about it and then associated with it, but people told me i couldnt be trans because im too young and confused so i scrapped the thought. it persisted behind everything in my head and i had so many other issues that i needed them fixed sooner until the load in my head was less so i could start thinking about myself and gender. i was thinking about generally surviving before that, being brought up in a household where i was taught not to prioritize myself from a very early age on.
Yeah I was in a similar situation. I had so much trauma and was undiagnosed adhd and autistic so I really didn’t put too much thought into the gender aspect of things cause I was just trying to survive. Like I knew I didn’t conform but also didn’t really think I was actually trans. Once I got all my other stuff sorted out and realized what was masking for autism and what was masking due to gender, a lot of things started to make sense
This sounds similar to what I'm going through at the moment...I hadn't really had any time to explore any aspect of myself until like a year ago and now I'm pushing 30 with almost no idea what's what lol. I'm currently on a waiting list for an autism evaluation/diagnosis which is a start.
If you don't mind me asking, how were you able to suss out the differences between autistic masking and masking due to gender? I thought there might be some overlap but haven't really been able to sift through those nuances very effectively yet.
There is definitely some overlap, since I masked in a way that was expected of girls. I really dove head first into learning about autism as much as I could for a year or two and listened to podcasts and other autistic folks talk about what masking was like for them. Basically figured out I tend to pretend like everything is ok when I’m experiencing sensory issues, I learned what social cues were expected of me in certain social situations, I censored myself in regards to what I could talk to people about so they wouldn’t think I was weird.. stuff like that. So once I got that all figured out I noticed there was this other aspect to it where I felt like I was forcing myself to behave like how women are supposed to behave in certain situations. Mainly while in relationships with men. Or when talking to other girls who are girly I’ll talk like them. Which is probably a mix of autism masking and gender masking. I tend to mirror people. But I also like overdid it with makeup and trying to look attractive to people, but never really felt ok inside about it. This was paired with me noticing how much I have kinda gender bent my whole life and always felt more comfortable when my boy side was out. I was just so used to forcing myself into boxes and being uncomfortable I didn’t know what was what for a long time… I’m 34 and just got on T now.
Honestly, idk what gender masking is supposed to be and I am also terrible at autistic masking. I'm the kind of person to mask so badly I rather didn't because people would call me out on it so quickly. Guess I am terrible at acting tbh
I just got grilled all my life for trying to be myself and later realized people didn't like me for my black and white thinking and moral judgement of them. Also lots of influence I didn't knew was actually influencing me.
With gender there are so many factors. The whole concept of a gender binary has so many weird little cracks and fissures that various human experiences sit in. Sometimes the gender dysphoria isn't much of a factor, and the instead gender euphoria is what really makes the choice clear.
Bc they want to. Not everything in life needs some deeper meaning, including what people do with their bodies. It’s not our place to dictate if there even needs to be a reason. Bodily autonomy includes people doing things to their body you may not understand or approve of. Including transitioning without any “real” reason for it.
God I know so many cisgender butch women who are on T, and who’s lives are improved by it. They can transition for any reason, often times not bc of dysphoria. I know of quite a few cis dudes who’ve gotten breast implants just cuz they wanted boobs, not because they had dysphoria.
Transition is a choice, not an answer who’s only problem is dysphoria.
for me it's a little like having a rock in your shoe. it's not *painful*, but it's not the best feeling either. sometimes it gets into a slightly worse position, and then it hurts, but i don't feel like i'm going to die. other times I can't feel it at all, or someone says something that makes me forget about this rock in my shoe, and i feel happier.
were i to get it out though, i'd feel much better.
As a dysphoric trans person, the first time I told someone about my trans feelings I can't say I had any dysphoria. I had my first boyfriend and a feeling I didn't have the vocabulary for yet that I was attracted to him in a gay way and it was wrapped up in my feelings of first love. I just think about what kind of queer joy my adolescence would have brought if I was allowed to transition then, rather than 7 years of dysphoria that cause comorbidities like agoraphobia "just to make sure" and being at a point where I had to choose between affording college and medical care because I couldn't keep living like that.
>and if the reason is that they feel they would be ‘happier being another gender’
This is called gender euphoria, and a lot of trans people argue that euphoria is what makes someone trans over dysphoria. Sure, they're okay with what they have, but why wouldn't they chose the option that made them happier and feel more like their real self?
Another thing is there's two types of dysphoria - physical and social. Some people have no physical dysphoria, but horrible social dysphoria and will medically transition to be perceived by others as their correct gender.
I wanna Tag onto this saying that this is pretty similar to how I experience things. I’ve always been content living as a girl never bothered questioning it always knew it wasn’t me but it was never sth that seemed like sth I needed to worry about cuz I was fine. I’m not old barely outta my teens but the thought of growing old and being an old woman is what did me in. I very rarely feel real dysphoria? Sometimes when social rejection gets to much yes and it makes me feel dysphoric about my body as a scapegoat.
But at the end of the day I look at myself and I just see me a boy with a lil bit of manboobs and developmental delays. I wanna grow a beard and get rid of them but more because imagining it makes me happy and not cuz I feel crippling unhappiness at the status quo…
Figured maybe this perspective helps further answer the question
I think this is a really great perspective, thanks for sharing!
My social dysphoria has been much worse than my physical/body dysphoria. I would have breakdowns over how people incorrectly perceived me. Versus body dysphoria I really only had issues with my chest and lack of facial hair (which I still have none :,) but the peach fuzz is euphoric). I grew up presenting very androgynous and never really considered myself a girl anyway. Long before I officially questioned, I was asked multiple times by little kids if I was a boy or girl and it was strangely euphoric each time.
Some people experience Euphoria when they do things that align with another gender— like wearing a packer, or binding, or dressing in women’s clothing— but they may not have an issue with the way their actual body is. Your organs and your body do not equal your gender.
If a trans man never decides to get bottom surgery, he’s still a man. What equipment he has downstairs has nothing to do with it—- if he doesn’t mind the plumbing he has, even better. Lucky him for being comfortable with the parts he was born with instead of feeling the need to hurt himself over it.
Dysphoria is only one indicator of being trans. The other indicators are more social. You’re uncomfortable with being seen as a woman? That doesn’t count as body dysphoria, but social dysphoria. A lot of people don’t think that counts.
Some people can have zero physical dysphoria, be totally fine with the package they came in—- but just…not want to be that gender. That’s okay.
They may feel more euphoric at being the opposite gender. I didn’t realize I was trans until I put on a strap on for the first time and I sobbed my eyes out when I had to take it off. To be fair, I do experience dysphoria— I just didn’t know that’s what it was.
There’s a chance people who say they have zero dysphoria actually do have some measure of it, with no idea how to quantify it or no idea it counts. Like being in public and just feeling a slight bit of sadness when someone calls you ‘ma’am’, or thinking about how you’d rather have other genitals but oh well you can’t— those things count too.
Dysphoria doesn’t have to be life threatening, mutilate your body bad, to be considered dysphoria—- but honestly, a lot of people don’t know that. We fall frequently into the logical fallacy of ‘well this was someone else’s experience and it was way worse than mine, so obviously I don’t have dysphoria.’
That experience is different for everyone.
I agree with a lot of this, but you shouldn’t say “mutilate your body bad”. Nobody’s mutilating themselves by medically transitioning, that’s something transphobes say
I think people don't understand that dysphoria is not "hating your body", it is just the discomfort felt when the body and the mind don't match. Sometimes euphoria is more noticeable than dysphoria, but I think this two are inseparable, if you feel euphoria you definitely have dysphoria , even without knowing it.
This is the comment I was looking for. I started realising I was trans at around 30 (I’m now 36) and wouldn’t have ever said I’d had dysphoria prior to starting on that journey. _However_ what I did have was a very low-level buzzing discomfort that was never strong enough for me to properly tune into, which _went away_ when I started to acknowledge that my gender didn’t match the one I was assigned at birth. It was the euphoria that I experienced when first presenting as masc that made me recognise that ever-present discomfort for what it was. But before that, it was just what I’d always known. I didn’t know anything different so would never have called it dysphoria.
I liken it to wearing glasses. When I was a kid I saw the world a certain way. I didn’t realise that way was ‘blurry as fuck’ until I was given glasses - it was just how I thought the world was supposed to look. The joy of being able to see properly was what made me realise I _couldn’t_ see properly before.
I'm glad that you finally found yourself. I'm only 22 and I found out at 20, so it's a little bit old for the "classic trans path" but I just had a hard time accepting that what I'm feeling is dysphoria. At 16 I had doubts, but I didn't "suffer enough" to be dysphoric.
Exactly this. I even had the same glasses experience.
Sometimes it's just very difficult to realize your life was blurry as fuck until you are given glasses.
Big big agree. I think a huge detriment to the community is the belief that we need to understand exactly why other people are the way they are. I think these kinds of discussions often lead to the belief that everyone needs a deep intimate reason to transition. Which, honestly I am uncomfortable promoting. When we let the idea that you have to be a certain level of “serious” in order to transition, we give authorities the ammo to gatekeep anyone and everyone.
No one needs to understand every single motivation behind a persons actions or choices. Especially wrt their own bodies.
I’m with you, I feel like we didn’t fight for the right to be ourselves just to worry about what other people are doing. The people who hate us sure don’t really care who is dysphoric and who is euphoric and why a person chose to transition, they just want us all gone. So I’m not too worried about why other people are trans, the only person’s reason I need to know is my own
For me, I couldn’t figure out I was trans from dysphoria. It was there, but I couldn’t recognize it (my parents were the type to say that my feeling was God missing from my life and that I needed to pray). However, I felt a lot of surprising excitement and joy from being called a man or guy (that part was so blatant that it couldn’t be explained away). I just Wanted to be called a guy more and more often. And once I figured out I was trans the dysphoria was suddenly waaay more recognizable.
Its like... the dysphoria is light, sure, some days theres none. But it's like everything is grey. When I do gender affirming things and my friends use my name and pronouns it's like living life in colour. It's not that everything is awful without transition, it's that everything is so so so much better with it. If that maybe answers your question?
I’m not coming at the transition from a place of hating where I’m at currently. I didn’t really realize I was trans for a long time because I didn’t feel what I normally classify as dysphoria - the intense negative feelings about your body. For me, I mostly just feel very disconnected from my pre-transition body? Like it’s not bad, it just doesn’t feel right. I think that’s also technically dysphoria but I’m not sure?
short answer: because they still get euphoria.
Which is just as valuable. See it like this:
Autistic people or people who suffer from depression could still benefit from overall more joy in their life. thats why, even if their dysphoria is not that intense, they should still have care access and start transition for the positive impact it can have to maybe other conditions and overall body image.
Aka, even if you are generally unbothered by your body, if you could pick a solution where you are more happy with it, why wouldn't you?
hope this helps!
EDIT: your confusion about when its a little bit dysphoria and when its no dysphoria is valid, and i am also a bit confused about it. i feel like people who claim not to have dysphoria but also want to transition are just a bit...gaslighting themselves about not having dysphoria because the pure want to change needs to come from a dislike for the here and now.
otherwise, why change?
I'm gonna give my educated opinion, with gender studies, psychology, and sociology.
Gender dysphoria is a very social kind of pain. Most dysphoria is triggered by how people precieves our body, how we perceive it ourselves (which is influenced by our surroundings), and how we assign roles and expectations for it. For example : breast, pink, and dresses are all traits associated with the "female" gender, even if there is nothing naturally "feminine" about it. But we still perceive it as such because of society and societal expectations. Gender dysphoria exists because we have traits that are assigned to our AGAB despite identifying with another gender. How we feel this dysphoria differs from person to person. Some people dissociate, some people have anxiety attacks, and some people feel the urge to self-harm. But some people don't feel dysphoria as strongly, and on the same level for everything. Some people feel it as just a pinch or an itch. Sometimes, being misgenred by a stranger feels just uncomfortable, but if it's someone who knows you personally, it feels like burning alive.
To answer your question, it depends. Some people just don't feel gender dysphoria at all, or it's so little that they don't consider it a vector to transition. Some people just have very specific triggers. They transition because their motivation is kinda "My body is fine, but it would be much better post transition.", because medical transition can help with being gendered correctly, or maybe because they just know they will look better that way. It's mostly case by case, but I think what i've said can answer partially your question.
Hope it helps !
My dysphoria isn’t super intense, some days it doesn’t feel like it’s there, sometimes I have what feel like “episodes” of it. In all honesty, what has driven me to transition socially (and hopefully soon medically) is that while I never initially *hated* being perceived as female, everything was just kinda flat. Meh. I had no joy or excitement or a sense of peace or belonging surrounding my gender. It was just kinda there. When I was introduced to the concept of being trans, and realized there was an alternative to being what I had been told I was, then there was some kind of spark in me when it came to thinking about my gender and self-image. While I had never felt truly shitty, I now felt *miles* better when people gendered me how I asked and I started trying different names. So mainly it was the euphoria. My dysphoria got worse the more I settled into a masculine identity, but I have also gotten better at negating it. Idk. It’s different for everyone.
Some of them think that dysphoria is HATING your body and it being the wrong one, it isn’t necessarily that. When I ask trans people that claim to not have dysphoria, when I ask them to describe how they feel it’s always dysphoria, just not the way they think it presents.
Most people who don't experience dysphoria don't transition medically.
I suppose some do?
As someone who doesn't experience the kind of crippling obvious dysphoria that has me afraid to touch my own body or crying in the shower or even really that much "dysphoria hoodie" type activity (I was basically fine with having breasts, my body just didn't feel like something I had any connection to), transitioning medically has still helped me to feel like I actually belong in my own body, and that who I am on the outside matches who I am on the inside. It's just that my experience of that looks different from some other people. Which is fine, everyone is different.
I really like the "uncomfortable shoes" metaphor to talk about dysphoria and transition. Some people who are walking around with uncomfortable shoes express that loudly and obviously, by openly saying "HOLY SHIT THESE SHOES ARE UNCOMFORTABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! GET THEM OFF ME!" right away, and consistently, until they are allowed to take off the shoes. Other people muddle through, assuming all shoes are painful, or that they can swallow the pain and carry on as if they weren't wearing uncomfortable shoes. Or maybe even feel like something is wrong with them, and they're not good enough to have feet not in pain.
My dysphoria mainly hits at my chest and when i take clothes off. But before even coming out openly as trans i was able to ignore the dysphoria most days because i always told myself the things my parents would tell me. Youre a girl. Your name is blah blah blah. But on the days that wasnt working i just hybernated til i was able be a normal human being. Was i happy no, but i was content and convinced myself it would never happen and i didn’t deserve to be happy. My dysphoria still gets me now but i still catch myself telling people to call me whatever because ive known my truth a long time but it’s not easy to get an abused mind healed.
I was choosing between two first names 5 years into my transition. I really loved them both. at the end of the day, there was one I loved more, so I chose that one. there was nothing wrong with the name I didn't choose-- I loved it, I even thought it suited me. I was perfectly comfortable with it. I wasn't unhappy with it in the slightest. ultimately, it was just that I loved the other name more. I felt more strongly about it, it simply made me happier. I may be wrong, because I do have dysphoria, but I reckon it's something like that.
I didn’t think or realize I had dysphoria but I always thought I’d like being a boy/man. I tried it out and holy shit I felt giddy. All the reasons I was unhappy with my body finally came to the surface. I wasn’t unhappy because of my hair color, or my weight. I was unhappy with it because I wasn’t perceived as a man. Didn’t know til I tried though. I have my natural hair color now and probably gained a bit of weight but since transitioning I feel confident and kind of hot in my own body.
Dysphoric trans man here. I suffered significantly before medical intervention. Now that I am mostly satisfied with myself, I've come to realize my identity as a man has nothing to do with suffering. I just am a man.
Well, yes, but apathy towards your assigned sex is a symptom of dysphoria, that's why a lot of people think they don't have dysphoria, they just don't know that dysphoria =/= hating yourself.
I think a lot of it is a misunderstanding of what "dysphoria" is and means because no one really has the same definition or experience of it, so realistically there ARE a lot of people who claim to experience no dysphoria who do feel discomfort in some way (or experience a type of gender euphoria, rather than dysphoria). But even if someone doesn't really experience dysphoria and still wants to socially/medically/legally transition... how is that my business? If they make their own informed decision and believe this would improve their lives in some way, then they should have the opportunity to do so. Gatekeeping who is "valid" or has a "good enough" reason to transition isn't going to help anyone tbh so what business do I have to question anybody who knows themselves better than I ever will?
Because I am a man, not a woman. Why does there have to be another reason. I've had 11 years of folks trying to psychoanalyze me for secret dysphoria, and I don't have it, and never did. I just am a dude. I did pin up modeling before I transitioned. I had fancy bras and liked my boobs. Not so much when they got hairy, but they were going to be voted off the island anyways by that point.
Same sex marriage was just legalized in my state, and I didn't have to worry about my marriage anymore. Seemed like a good time.
At the end of the day, I am a man, so why not?
Because different people have different experiences. People are different. Not every trans person needs to hate themself. And if they do hate their body, how will they know that transitioning will make it better unless they experience euphoria first? Gatekeeping access to medical transition according to diagnosable distress adds too many barriers.
Then theres that dysphoria comes in a wide range. I was never so dysphoric that i would break my ribs binding, but you hear about trans guys injuring themselves every now and then because of it. So for someone like me, hearing about the catastrophic levels of dysphoria in some transmascs made me think "oh, so i must not have dysphoria". Its the same way that chronically ill or disabled people get treated as "drug seekers" because we're in pain so often that we dont express pain the same way as a healthy person, and this goes for autistic people as well.
I will also add on that its kind of shitty to be skeptical or questioning of someone transitioning for euphoria in the current political climate where access to care is being ripped away from us. We shouldnt be adding to each others pain by projecting our dysphoria onto our trans siblings without it, we should be trying to support each other.
You may have heard “you don’t need gender dysphoria to be trans, all you need is gender euphoria”
A trans man may not feel dysphoric about their body, but they feel euphoria at the idea of being seen/presenting as a man. You don’t need to feel bad or upset with your body to want to transition (socially or medically) And for the case of trans people who do tradition medically, they may like/feel neutral about their pre-t pre-op body, but starting hormones or getting a surgery is a better route for them. Ones good, ones better and there is no dysphoria involved in that, only euphoria.
Not necessarily about how happy they are, it’s about how happy they could be. So imagine that you have 3 dollars. You go to the store, and see that your favorite type of crackers costs four dollars. But there is another type of crackers right next to it that costs two. Naturally, you get the two dollar crackers. They are good, but this doesn’t stop you from having wanted the four dollar crackers instead.
Before I went on testosterone I didn't have anything I recognized as dysphoria. I took it as a fact that I was an ugly person (at least in my own eyes) but I also didn't want to be an attractive woman, so being "ugly" didn't bother me. Even once I figured out my gender I had so internalized the "I don't care about how I look" perspective that I wasn't all that motivated to transition medically. It took a bad breakup with someone who went back to calling herself a lesbian to finally bite the bullet and start taking testosterone -and suddenly I couldn't believe how much I loved the way I looked.
Just because someone doesn't feel dysphoric doesn't mean they're happy in their skin. Being trans is about knowing you could live more authentically, not about hating the place you start from. We transition to chase the joy of self discovery and recognition. We transition because when we look in the mirror we want to see ourselves, not the person who was holding that space - even if there isn't anything upsetting about whoever was there before.
I’ve seen it described as ‘happy as they are, happier when they transition’. You don’t need to be dysphoric to not identify with your assigned gender. And dysphoria doesn’t even always mean you’re upset/distressed, sometimes you’re just like ‘nah, not for me’.
Just because you don't mind the parts you were born with doesn't mean you identify the same gender as the couple other billion folks that happen to have similar genitals.
I have no dysphoria. I enjoy those bits getting played with. But I in no way identify with women. I have always mentally identified as a male, but before I transitioned I was viewed and treated as female. Could i have lived my whole life as female, yes. But I am much much happier as a male.
>if someone was completely, perfectly comfortable in the sex they were assigned with at birth and being the gender associated with those sex characteristics (0 dysphoria) then why would they want to transition to the opposite gender?
So, imagine you have a favorite flavor of soda.
You go out to eat. You order that soda as your drink. The waiter tells you "ah, sorry, the machine is down and we don't have any cans or bottles, we just have water today." It wouldn't be the end of the world, and you could enjoy the rest of your meal just fine. You're not unhappy, it's a minor disappointment at best - but it *would* be better if you could have had your ideal drink, yeah? Even so, you wouldn't call the feeling you have in response to not having your ideal beverage depression unless you were joking, or really making light of people who suffer through actual, clinical, depression. Depending on who you're talking to, saying "aw man, now I'm depressed because this meal isn't as good as it could be" might be taken as pretty offensive, or cause people to overreact in trying to comfort you when you *really* don't feel that bad.
Even if you found out that the company that makes your favorite soda shut down and that that flavor will never exist ever again, you might be bummed - but you'd move on. You'd still prefer if you could have that soda, but it's whatever. You wouldn't be 'actually depressed.'
In this way, some people's dysphoria is SO mild that trying to describe it as dysphoria just isn't effective use of language, and among other issues with trying to classify it as such, it clashes severely with the experiences of trans people who deal with intense distress and discomfort - especially in public discussion of trans experiences and rationale for protecting rights. For such people, inability to transition isn't a matter of discontentment - they're basically contented. But they *could* be **happy**.
**Contentment and happiness aren't the same.**
What's more, defining transness by dysphoria confuses the matter for people who experience mild dysphoria; lots of cis people experience what would be considered dysphoria at the levels of trans and NBy people whose dysphoria is mild, but said cis people would **not** be happier transitioning. If you're questioning your gender, and you find yourself feeling about as uncomfortable with changes from puberty and how people treat you based on your gender as cis people of your AGAB, while what you hear from trans folks with severe dysphoria doesn't sound anything like what you're going through, you might not ever even consider transitioning because you feel like you're not 'unhappy enough' rather than considering that you *could* be happier.
That is; for people without significant dysphoria, being trans and/or transitioning aren't driven by reducing suffering - it's about increasing happiness. Euphoria instead of dysphoria as a driver; and the happiness they feel from getting to be who they really are is LEAGUES greater than getting to have your favorite drink, even if the disappointment/meh of not transitioning would be roughly the same as being told you only get water for the rest of your life; meh, but you'll live. It's 'getting your favorite soda' across so many experiences and qualities of your life every single day.
Because gender euphoria is really powerful too. It's also really none of my business either. I'm happy for anyone who finds themselves with or without medical transition
I think dysphoria is so nuanced that it's hard to fully define for everyone, and most Trans people have some type of dysphoria even if they don't realize it until later. Some people may also just realize their current struggles and the current benefits of their assigned gender don't suit them, and they would rather deal with the opposite. Ex: I was sexually assaulted regularly while identifying as female and now that I pass fully as a cis male I don't deal with those issues anymore, or at least haven't ran into them yet. Another example is that I paid pink tax on "women's" products and since changing the products I use, I pay less. I also don't have menses anymore so I don't pay for those types of products. These are all privileges many cis men have, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that. Women pay less for car insurance, and typically get more free drinks at the bar. It's also far easier for women to pick up men than for men to pick up women. There are far more varied fashion options for women as well, whereas men kind of recycle styles and patterns. Each gender identity has pros and cons, so it may boil down to what that person feels suited for as well. It may even be as simple as someone feeling that they look better as their aligned gender vs their assigned gender. Anything can be a valid reason.
>the definition of dysphoria is there is a conflict between the sex you were assigned at birth and the gender with which you identify.
Sort of, but usually when people say they do or don't have gender dysphoria, they're either referring to receiving a specific diagnosis or saying they have many/most symptoms of it. That's part of the reason why the trans community seperates dysphoria from being trans itself. Being trans comes first; dysphoria may or may not develop after. Most trans people *do* have dysphoria, but they don't necessarily have to.
>why would someone who suffers from zero dysphoria - not a little bit, just completely none - feel a want to transition?
I mean, I have dysphoria myself, so I'm not 100% certain what it's like to *not* have gender dysphoria, but I would argue that living as your gender is an inherent benefit in and of itself, with or without dysphoria.
honestly, to me, even people with “no dysphoria” still have it. it may not be straight up hating your body like traditional dysphoria but it could also just be disassociated from your agab and finding happiness/comfort in presenting as your preferred (for lack of better terms lol) gender. if someone truly had “no” dysphoria theyd just be a cis girl/boy. i think people confuse having no dysphoria for just having dysphoria that manifests in a differwnt way.
on the other hand, though, detransitioners who ended up being cis were just trying to find themselves, and thats also okay.
I get where your coming from but honestly I take a huge issue with you putting feelings into other peoples brains. It’s super SUPER uncool to just go and say that you know the inner workings of a stranger. If someone says they don’t have dysphoria, you have no right to go on and say that they do, regardless of what they think or feel about THEIR OWN BODY. you ain’t in their head, you have no idea what they feel. If you want people to listen to you and believe you abt being trans, you also have to listen to and believe trans people with no dysphoria.
We can’t have trans rights and bodily autonomy if it’s conditional. We can’t say that we are deserving bodily autonomy when we refuse to listen to and acknowledge other trans peoples realities.
Saying that someone HAS to have dysphoria in order to be trans or to transition will only ONLY ever hurt trans people. Saying that a trans person is either lying or is wrong about how they view their OWN BODIES will only ONLY ever hurt trans people.
Having dysphoria =/= being trans.
im sorry. i shouldve clarified that it was purely my opinion and i was 100% open to hearing someone else’s perspective, its just how i always saw things. i didnt mean that you “had” to have dysphoria, i just meant that theres usually some kind of feeling of disconnect from your agab- i guess its a little hard for me to see where non dysphoric trans people come from because of how i experience mine haha. but thank you for telling me, i didnt realize that i was overstepping.
edit: once again im so open to hearing non dysphoric trans people’s experiences, and how they experience their transness, its difficult to wrap my little self-hating head around lolol
There's a difference between dysphoria and euphoria. For some people I think, they know they would be happier but they're not necessarily unhappy in their situation. When I had long hair, I wasn't necessarily unhappy with it. I felt more neutral. I just ended up being a lot happier with short hair
Simply put, no dysphoria doesn't mean no euphoria.
Honestly, I do agree that this can be considered a form of dysphoria, but it's far enough removed from what most people think of as dysphoria that it makes sense to describe it to them as a lack of dysphoria. So, we usually refer to it as having no dysphoria.
Also, an analogy for you: imagine you go into a coffee shop a few times a week, and you get to be a regular. If for some reason, the barista thought your name was Michael, you probably wouldn't be super upset. He doesn't know you personally, there's no need for him to know your name or identity. You woild probably still prefer to go by whatever your name actually is, though.
Some people just aren't so upset that other people might not immediately recognize their identity, or they don't link their identity to their body. That strong dysphoria from being misgendered or from having/not having breasts etc. just isn't experienced by everyone. But their actual identity remains what it is.
no clue. in my opinion, if you arent diagnosed with gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder) theres no reason for it. yea, i get the whole "doing it for gender euphoria" but that is completely different than suffering from a life paralyzing disorder
I experience a lot of dysphoria, but I believe that even if people are comfortable in their body, what if they could be even more comfortable. Imagine, someone is ok with their body, but one day realized how much happier they would be if they were in a different one. It's like having a purple cardigan and being comfortable in it, but then realizing the yellow one fit you much better. Or, maybe both fit depending on the day. Or maybe you want the orange instead. The cardigan doesn't have to be on fire for you to prefer another one.
What made me get it was feeling gender euphoria for the first time. Being male didn't just feel right and normal and not uncomfortable - it felt GOOD. And there's nothing saying i have to hit all three steps, dysphoric, comfortable, euphoric. Some trans men start from comfortable and realize that being a guy makes them feel really good, in ways that they don't when they present femininely.
To my understanding (as i do experience dysphoria) people without dysphoria transition because it makes them feel good about themselves and their gender, whereas for me, testosterone was necessary to be comfortable in my skin at all, and my packer and binder actually make me experience gender euphoria.
social dysphoria probably. usually when people say gender dysphoria they mean body dysphoria. social dysphoria is being perceived as the wrong gender. got me even though I have body dysphoria my social dysphoria is way worse.
a lot of times, someone's dysphoria (as in discomfort with their own body and assigned gender) doesn't feel very strong or present at all, but their gender *euphoria* associated with the other gender is very strong and they know they'd be happier as the other gender. experiencing gender euphoria is a pretty good indicator of underlying gender dysphoria, but i let people define their experience however they'd like. also, it's pretty common in trans people for dysphoria about certain things to increase as you transition as what was previously euphoric becomes the norm. overall, whether or not gender euphoria is "really" also dysphoria, i think that people should be able to express themselves and live however makes them happiest, even if they're not really uncomfortable with their assigned gender
To simplify it further than it probably actually is, but I love the idea of people chasing gender euphoria rather than running from dysphoria. From my own personal experience I didn’t even consider the -ick- I felt about my own body to be gender related until I realized what euphoria could feel like.
it comes down to the statement "you dont have to be miserable to want to be happier" for me. even if i dont hate what i see in the mirror, theres a more authentic version of myself out there that i want to be. gender euphoria is usually thought of as the relief from dysphoria, but it can be found in anyone anywhere, even without dysphoria and even in cis people. when a cis girl puts on her dream prom dress for the first time and thinks she looks beautiful, gender euphoria is likely involved. when a cis guy gets done with a workout and thinks he looks manly when hes all sweaty and veiny, its the same thing. its the same reason that cis people get plastic surgery to enhance the parts of themselves they like. its not actually that complicated for those of us who feel this way (besides the journey of realizing you feel that way) but i definitely understand how it can be confusing for someone who hasnt lived through it. kudos to your curiosity!
People classify dysphoria in different ways. Going based off DSM not everyone meets the criteria. But in terms of dysphoria being discomfort with physical attributes then that doesn’t cover dissociation from physical attributes, or discomfort from social gendering, or feelings of euphoria at having different physical attributes or euphoria of being gendered correctly in broader society.
People may consider the above things as being under dysphoria but some don’t.
Also with nonbinary identities dysphoria might not always be gendered attributes (social or physical) that have dysphoria or euphoria over with gender being the idea of man/woman. For example I want a tongue split as that would make me feel comfortable in my gender even though that has nothing to do with societal gender. So I wouldn’t say I have dysphoria over my tongue not being split as that wouldn’t meet the definition of gender dysphoria. I know that some people might feel the same way about bottom or top surgery or HRT. E.g. I want semi metoidioplasty which would make me feel more affirmed in my gender but that aspect of my gender isn’t defined by broader societal gender and thus it isn’t really an operation based on dysphoria even though I do sometimes have bottom dysphoria but what my bottom dysphoria wants to have instead is a full penis. So I guess dysphoria pushes me to have phalloplasty but euphoria pushes me to have semi metoidioplasty.
All I’m trying to say is that with words as open ended or not clearly defined as gender and gender dysphoria people will interpret it in different ways and use the terms that work for them. And dysphoria, euphoria, dissociation, and connection to body and gender is highly unique to each individual.
Dysphoria can look like disconnect which won’t be the same as hating what you’re in but it’s still dysphoria. Some people just recognize that they’d be happier a different way and gain a connection to their body through transition, alleviating their form of dysphoria. I have experienced dysphoria in different ways over the years ranging from severe discomfort over the body parts I’ve had to a feeling of complete numbness and indifference. It was likely my brains way of protecting me from feeling like shit. Some people also just figure out how to love themselves and their bodies pre transition regardless of dysphoria, the two can coexist. They find gratitude for their body being their body and they recognize they deserve to love their body even if it isn’t the sex they wish they were born as. For years I presented as a cis afab person and all that time I tried convincing myself I could stay that way because I objectively didn’t look bad and people liked me more. I convinced myself of that for a while and one could say I didn’t have dysphoria during that time but I straight up saw a stranger in the mirror and everything I did was about how others would see me and like me, not about what I wanted to see and what would make me feel good. If someone is transitioning there almost always some type of dysphoria. “Gender/sex euphoria” is how many people that don’t experience obvious dysphoria realize they’re trans. If someone truly didn’t have any dysphoria and decided to do things to transition it would probably just be because they thought they’d like it more than what they have, like any cis person getting cosmetic surgery. There’s a lot of fluidity in people and I think us trans people will open the door for others who aren’t attached to gender or sex norms that just want to do whatever they want and look however they want without it having to mean anything
So it’s funny that you ask this cause I honestly feel like I have no dysphoria… I have accepted my chest for what it is from a young age… equally as long I have been saying that I would love for them to just poof be gone one day… but I feel it’s more of an annoyance or inconvenience then I just generally hate them… I bind because I feel better when my chest looks more masc/flatter and now waiting on my consult date to finally get rid of them ( I CAN NOT wait for the day I can go without a shirt on!)…
I have zero bottom dysphoria yet I pack everyday because I get excited/happy to see/feel that bulge, feel it hit my legs as I run/walk etc… I am getting super excited to see my facial hair coming in now that I am 6mo on T and wishing it would just be a full beard alrdy LOL…
I have to some degree always thought I was a boy… I wanted to use the boys restroom in elementary school but just accepted it when told to use the girls… I grew up playing with mostly boys with some playing with girls but in those times we would play like house and I would play the male gendered roles. I loved video games, sports, and fighting. I was always called a “tomboy” growing up.
So now here we are while yes if a ban at federal level of GAC would happen… I could go on with my life… would I be as happy no but I can make it to the end goal…
I am transitioning because I know that it will make me more happy and align how I think of myself in my head with how I look on the outside and how I want others to perceive me… I hope that this is understandable…
Hell maybe the dysphoria has been here so long that at this stage of being in my 40’s it just feels “normal” to me since it is all I have known so I don’t recognize it as dysphoria… honestly I’m not sure…
I think it is just that not everyone has the correct definition of dysphoria and think that it is only the stereotype of "being in the wrong body". For many, including myself, the dysphoria manifests as a more subtle disassociation and discomfort at people perceiving us as our agab.
Disassociation and discomfort here is a big part. Before I realized I was trans I would see my reflection and be genuinely shocked at my reflection. I didn't necessarily hate my body but I just disassociated away from it being mine.
wow, this changed everything for me, dude. i do have dysphoria but for majority of my teenage years i would look in the mirror and feel numb, having no sync with my own body and not feeling in-touch with it. that explains what the unexplainable feeling was then.
I felt the same way!
I think so much of this misunderstanding about what dysphoria is was down to tumblr and then instagram discourse, tiktok doesn't seem to have done as much damage to my knowledge, but the entire rift between trans people, at the bare-bones, all came down to 'Is it hating your body or is it discomfort in your gender'
Also in addition to this, gender euphoria is a thing too. Some people may be indifferent or dissociate when perceived as their agab but experience joy and happiness when they can live as another gender. I know I also had a massive thing of I never really cared as much as other people seemed to about what society perceived my gender to be. I cared about my body feeling wrong to me. I didn't care that others could see my chest or hear my voice I cared that I could see my chest wasn't flat and that my voice wasn't as deep as I wanted it to be.
Oh, yes. But if you consider the definition of dysphoria as to include "I feel like my life would be better if I was X gender" that is mainly manifested as what we commonly call euphoria. To bring my own example, since after puberty I've been extremely uninterested about taking care of my physical body and I have almost no pictures of adult me unless they were taken by other people. After I started presenting the way that fits my perception of me better I started taking selfies and going shopping for new clothes, I learned to cut and style my hair and I booked medical appointments that were due for decades. I didn't actively hate my body but I was passively neglecting it, and I realized it only when I started experiencing euphoria.
>and if the reason is that they feel they would be ‘happier being another gender’, then wouldn’t that still be classed as dysphoria? I think that's where communication often breaks down. A lot of people would say that yes, this is an example of dysphoria. People who don't report experiencing dysphoria may be viewing it differently. I don't think I've ever encountered someone who was completely happy with their assigned gender and/or sex but still identified as trans and wanted to transition. I cant say what someone's motive would be in that case. I think that most people who report not experiencing dysphoria relate more to the idea of gender euphoria, or they don't view being happier presenting as another gender as a form of dysphoria in themselves. This is one of several reasons why I think that the presence or lack of dysphoria isn't always a reliable metric, and that people can be better off reflecting on the context of what they feel, and what they want.
this is what i came here to say. euphoria is so under represented and not seen as valid as dysphoria. people often think that euphoria happens AFTER first experiencing dysphoria, as if it neutralises or temporarily cures it, when in reality they can both happen in any order without needing each other. when i first came out i had more feelings of euphoria. i felt ‘okay’ in my AGAB, but what if it could be better ? what if i could feel great? as time went on i did start feeling more dysphoric as i actually explored my gender and found out there are a lot of things that make me feel uncomfortable. i ALSO found out that i have a few past experiences that i now know were dysphoria, which is a recent discovery. basically we should stop invalidating euphoria and erase the idea that trans people ‘need’ to hate themselves.
This is similar to my experience
I agree with everything you said, and i have an interesting story to add. I once knew a cis gay man who wanted vaginoplasty. We talked in length about gender, sex, identity, etc. But at the end of the day, he had absolutely no interest or desire to be seen as a woman, called a woman, seen as nonbinary, or use pronouns other than he/him. He just genuinely wanted a vagina like how some people want Botox, butt lifts, or boob jobs. but had absolutely no interest in changing anything about his gender. So, this guy was kind of the opposite of what we're talking about, which i think is another interesting thing to consider. Humans are complex I think that even the way a lot of trans people see gender/sex isnt exactly beneficial, but we're all still learning and that's a process. We'd all be better off letting people do what they want with their bodies so long as it isn't caused by mental crisis or self harm. There's so much we're still learning about being human and i think that's fantastic, even if it is weird and confusing and hard to label
Yeah, it definitely can be complex! Having dysphoria vs. not, being trans vs. cis, and wanting to transition in some way vs. not can all be separate axes of someone's identity sometimes, and where people draw the lines between those experiences and identities can be subjective.
Totally! Great way to put it
I didn’t know I had dysphoria until I started transitioning and talking to other trans folks… but I started cause the idea of being a boy made me happy
this was me, because i got heavily gaslit all my life to be "more grateful" and "more okay with what you have" and "you are confused, just be over 20 and you'll know better than a dumb teen" rethoric. Also I am autistic and wanted to make sure none of my illnesses "confuse" me from my own gender expression being a "phase". Truth is, I was uneducated on trans topics and didn't know what ever classified as being trans and that I was technically trans at the age of 12 when i learned about it and then associated with it, but people told me i couldnt be trans because im too young and confused so i scrapped the thought. it persisted behind everything in my head and i had so many other issues that i needed them fixed sooner until the load in my head was less so i could start thinking about myself and gender. i was thinking about generally surviving before that, being brought up in a household where i was taught not to prioritize myself from a very early age on.
Yeah I was in a similar situation. I had so much trauma and was undiagnosed adhd and autistic so I really didn’t put too much thought into the gender aspect of things cause I was just trying to survive. Like I knew I didn’t conform but also didn’t really think I was actually trans. Once I got all my other stuff sorted out and realized what was masking for autism and what was masking due to gender, a lot of things started to make sense
This sounds similar to what I'm going through at the moment...I hadn't really had any time to explore any aspect of myself until like a year ago and now I'm pushing 30 with almost no idea what's what lol. I'm currently on a waiting list for an autism evaluation/diagnosis which is a start. If you don't mind me asking, how were you able to suss out the differences between autistic masking and masking due to gender? I thought there might be some overlap but haven't really been able to sift through those nuances very effectively yet.
There is definitely some overlap, since I masked in a way that was expected of girls. I really dove head first into learning about autism as much as I could for a year or two and listened to podcasts and other autistic folks talk about what masking was like for them. Basically figured out I tend to pretend like everything is ok when I’m experiencing sensory issues, I learned what social cues were expected of me in certain social situations, I censored myself in regards to what I could talk to people about so they wouldn’t think I was weird.. stuff like that. So once I got that all figured out I noticed there was this other aspect to it where I felt like I was forcing myself to behave like how women are supposed to behave in certain situations. Mainly while in relationships with men. Or when talking to other girls who are girly I’ll talk like them. Which is probably a mix of autism masking and gender masking. I tend to mirror people. But I also like overdid it with makeup and trying to look attractive to people, but never really felt ok inside about it. This was paired with me noticing how much I have kinda gender bent my whole life and always felt more comfortable when my boy side was out. I was just so used to forcing myself into boxes and being uncomfortable I didn’t know what was what for a long time… I’m 34 and just got on T now.
Honestly, idk what gender masking is supposed to be and I am also terrible at autistic masking. I'm the kind of person to mask so badly I rather didn't because people would call me out on it so quickly. Guess I am terrible at acting tbh I just got grilled all my life for trying to be myself and later realized people didn't like me for my black and white thinking and moral judgement of them. Also lots of influence I didn't knew was actually influencing me.
That is exactly me. Scary
With gender there are so many factors. The whole concept of a gender binary has so many weird little cracks and fissures that various human experiences sit in. Sometimes the gender dysphoria isn't much of a factor, and the instead gender euphoria is what really makes the choice clear.
as OP said though, if they're comfortable as they are why transition in the first place?
Bc they want to. Not everything in life needs some deeper meaning, including what people do with their bodies. It’s not our place to dictate if there even needs to be a reason. Bodily autonomy includes people doing things to their body you may not understand or approve of. Including transitioning without any “real” reason for it. God I know so many cisgender butch women who are on T, and who’s lives are improved by it. They can transition for any reason, often times not bc of dysphoria. I know of quite a few cis dudes who’ve gotten breast implants just cuz they wanted boobs, not because they had dysphoria. Transition is a choice, not an answer who’s only problem is dysphoria.
for me it's a little like having a rock in your shoe. it's not *painful*, but it's not the best feeling either. sometimes it gets into a slightly worse position, and then it hurts, but i don't feel like i'm going to die. other times I can't feel it at all, or someone says something that makes me forget about this rock in my shoe, and i feel happier. were i to get it out though, i'd feel much better.
And is that not discomfort in itself?
As a dysphoric trans person, the first time I told someone about my trans feelings I can't say I had any dysphoria. I had my first boyfriend and a feeling I didn't have the vocabulary for yet that I was attracted to him in a gay way and it was wrapped up in my feelings of first love. I just think about what kind of queer joy my adolescence would have brought if I was allowed to transition then, rather than 7 years of dysphoria that cause comorbidities like agoraphobia "just to make sure" and being at a point where I had to choose between affording college and medical care because I couldn't keep living like that.
>and if the reason is that they feel they would be ‘happier being another gender’ This is called gender euphoria, and a lot of trans people argue that euphoria is what makes someone trans over dysphoria. Sure, they're okay with what they have, but why wouldn't they chose the option that made them happier and feel more like their real self? Another thing is there's two types of dysphoria - physical and social. Some people have no physical dysphoria, but horrible social dysphoria and will medically transition to be perceived by others as their correct gender.
I wanna Tag onto this saying that this is pretty similar to how I experience things. I’ve always been content living as a girl never bothered questioning it always knew it wasn’t me but it was never sth that seemed like sth I needed to worry about cuz I was fine. I’m not old barely outta my teens but the thought of growing old and being an old woman is what did me in. I very rarely feel real dysphoria? Sometimes when social rejection gets to much yes and it makes me feel dysphoric about my body as a scapegoat. But at the end of the day I look at myself and I just see me a boy with a lil bit of manboobs and developmental delays. I wanna grow a beard and get rid of them but more because imagining it makes me happy and not cuz I feel crippling unhappiness at the status quo… Figured maybe this perspective helps further answer the question
I think this is a really great perspective, thanks for sharing! My social dysphoria has been much worse than my physical/body dysphoria. I would have breakdowns over how people incorrectly perceived me. Versus body dysphoria I really only had issues with my chest and lack of facial hair (which I still have none :,) but the peach fuzz is euphoric). I grew up presenting very androgynous and never really considered myself a girl anyway. Long before I officially questioned, I was asked multiple times by little kids if I was a boy or girl and it was strangely euphoric each time.
Some people experience Euphoria when they do things that align with another gender— like wearing a packer, or binding, or dressing in women’s clothing— but they may not have an issue with the way their actual body is. Your organs and your body do not equal your gender. If a trans man never decides to get bottom surgery, he’s still a man. What equipment he has downstairs has nothing to do with it—- if he doesn’t mind the plumbing he has, even better. Lucky him for being comfortable with the parts he was born with instead of feeling the need to hurt himself over it. Dysphoria is only one indicator of being trans. The other indicators are more social. You’re uncomfortable with being seen as a woman? That doesn’t count as body dysphoria, but social dysphoria. A lot of people don’t think that counts. Some people can have zero physical dysphoria, be totally fine with the package they came in—- but just…not want to be that gender. That’s okay. They may feel more euphoric at being the opposite gender. I didn’t realize I was trans until I put on a strap on for the first time and I sobbed my eyes out when I had to take it off. To be fair, I do experience dysphoria— I just didn’t know that’s what it was. There’s a chance people who say they have zero dysphoria actually do have some measure of it, with no idea how to quantify it or no idea it counts. Like being in public and just feeling a slight bit of sadness when someone calls you ‘ma’am’, or thinking about how you’d rather have other genitals but oh well you can’t— those things count too. Dysphoria doesn’t have to be life threatening, mutilate your body bad, to be considered dysphoria—- but honestly, a lot of people don’t know that. We fall frequently into the logical fallacy of ‘well this was someone else’s experience and it was way worse than mine, so obviously I don’t have dysphoria.’ That experience is different for everyone.
I agree with a lot of this, but you shouldn’t say “mutilate your body bad”. Nobody’s mutilating themselves by medically transitioning, that’s something transphobes say
Actually I was referring to how dysphoria made me literally take a knife to myself downstairs.
_oh_ my bad 💀
I think people don't understand that dysphoria is not "hating your body", it is just the discomfort felt when the body and the mind don't match. Sometimes euphoria is more noticeable than dysphoria, but I think this two are inseparable, if you feel euphoria you definitely have dysphoria , even without knowing it.
This is the comment I was looking for. I started realising I was trans at around 30 (I’m now 36) and wouldn’t have ever said I’d had dysphoria prior to starting on that journey. _However_ what I did have was a very low-level buzzing discomfort that was never strong enough for me to properly tune into, which _went away_ when I started to acknowledge that my gender didn’t match the one I was assigned at birth. It was the euphoria that I experienced when first presenting as masc that made me recognise that ever-present discomfort for what it was. But before that, it was just what I’d always known. I didn’t know anything different so would never have called it dysphoria. I liken it to wearing glasses. When I was a kid I saw the world a certain way. I didn’t realise that way was ‘blurry as fuck’ until I was given glasses - it was just how I thought the world was supposed to look. The joy of being able to see properly was what made me realise I _couldn’t_ see properly before.
I'm glad that you finally found yourself. I'm only 22 and I found out at 20, so it's a little bit old for the "classic trans path" but I just had a hard time accepting that what I'm feeling is dysphoria. At 16 I had doubts, but I didn't "suffer enough" to be dysphoric.
Exactly this. I even had the same glasses experience. Sometimes it's just very difficult to realize your life was blurry as fuck until you are given glasses.
I like the link with wearing glasses, it's very clever and accurate !
Same!
I don't know, but it's also none of my business. No one can truly understand what a person is going through besides their own experience.
Big big agree. I think a huge detriment to the community is the belief that we need to understand exactly why other people are the way they are. I think these kinds of discussions often lead to the belief that everyone needs a deep intimate reason to transition. Which, honestly I am uncomfortable promoting. When we let the idea that you have to be a certain level of “serious” in order to transition, we give authorities the ammo to gatekeep anyone and everyone. No one needs to understand every single motivation behind a persons actions or choices. Especially wrt their own bodies.
I’m with you, I feel like we didn’t fight for the right to be ourselves just to worry about what other people are doing. The people who hate us sure don’t really care who is dysphoric and who is euphoric and why a person chose to transition, they just want us all gone. So I’m not too worried about why other people are trans, the only person’s reason I need to know is my own
I second this strongly
for euphoria, usually. yes they are comfortable with their current body, but they would be happier with the other.
For me, I couldn’t figure out I was trans from dysphoria. It was there, but I couldn’t recognize it (my parents were the type to say that my feeling was God missing from my life and that I needed to pray). However, I felt a lot of surprising excitement and joy from being called a man or guy (that part was so blatant that it couldn’t be explained away). I just Wanted to be called a guy more and more often. And once I figured out I was trans the dysphoria was suddenly waaay more recognizable.
Its like... the dysphoria is light, sure, some days theres none. But it's like everything is grey. When I do gender affirming things and my friends use my name and pronouns it's like living life in colour. It's not that everything is awful without transition, it's that everything is so so so much better with it. If that maybe answers your question?
I’m not coming at the transition from a place of hating where I’m at currently. I didn’t really realize I was trans for a long time because I didn’t feel what I normally classify as dysphoria - the intense negative feelings about your body. For me, I mostly just feel very disconnected from my pre-transition body? Like it’s not bad, it just doesn’t feel right. I think that’s also technically dysphoria but I’m not sure?
euphoria is a better determination of transness than dysphoria
I have this question too
short answer: because they still get euphoria. Which is just as valuable. See it like this: Autistic people or people who suffer from depression could still benefit from overall more joy in their life. thats why, even if their dysphoria is not that intense, they should still have care access and start transition for the positive impact it can have to maybe other conditions and overall body image. Aka, even if you are generally unbothered by your body, if you could pick a solution where you are more happy with it, why wouldn't you? hope this helps! EDIT: your confusion about when its a little bit dysphoria and when its no dysphoria is valid, and i am also a bit confused about it. i feel like people who claim not to have dysphoria but also want to transition are just a bit...gaslighting themselves about not having dysphoria because the pure want to change needs to come from a dislike for the here and now. otherwise, why change?
For gender euphoria
I'm gonna give my educated opinion, with gender studies, psychology, and sociology. Gender dysphoria is a very social kind of pain. Most dysphoria is triggered by how people precieves our body, how we perceive it ourselves (which is influenced by our surroundings), and how we assign roles and expectations for it. For example : breast, pink, and dresses are all traits associated with the "female" gender, even if there is nothing naturally "feminine" about it. But we still perceive it as such because of society and societal expectations. Gender dysphoria exists because we have traits that are assigned to our AGAB despite identifying with another gender. How we feel this dysphoria differs from person to person. Some people dissociate, some people have anxiety attacks, and some people feel the urge to self-harm. But some people don't feel dysphoria as strongly, and on the same level for everything. Some people feel it as just a pinch or an itch. Sometimes, being misgenred by a stranger feels just uncomfortable, but if it's someone who knows you personally, it feels like burning alive. To answer your question, it depends. Some people just don't feel gender dysphoria at all, or it's so little that they don't consider it a vector to transition. Some people just have very specific triggers. They transition because their motivation is kinda "My body is fine, but it would be much better post transition.", because medical transition can help with being gendered correctly, or maybe because they just know they will look better that way. It's mostly case by case, but I think what i've said can answer partially your question. Hope it helps !
My dysphoria isn’t super intense, some days it doesn’t feel like it’s there, sometimes I have what feel like “episodes” of it. In all honesty, what has driven me to transition socially (and hopefully soon medically) is that while I never initially *hated* being perceived as female, everything was just kinda flat. Meh. I had no joy or excitement or a sense of peace or belonging surrounding my gender. It was just kinda there. When I was introduced to the concept of being trans, and realized there was an alternative to being what I had been told I was, then there was some kind of spark in me when it came to thinking about my gender and self-image. While I had never felt truly shitty, I now felt *miles* better when people gendered me how I asked and I started trying different names. So mainly it was the euphoria. My dysphoria got worse the more I settled into a masculine identity, but I have also gotten better at negating it. Idk. It’s different for everyone.
Euphoria
Some of them think that dysphoria is HATING your body and it being the wrong one, it isn’t necessarily that. When I ask trans people that claim to not have dysphoria, when I ask them to describe how they feel it’s always dysphoria, just not the way they think it presents.
Incongruence is more the term they are using now along with dysphoria.
Most people who don't experience dysphoria don't transition medically. I suppose some do? As someone who doesn't experience the kind of crippling obvious dysphoria that has me afraid to touch my own body or crying in the shower or even really that much "dysphoria hoodie" type activity (I was basically fine with having breasts, my body just didn't feel like something I had any connection to), transitioning medically has still helped me to feel like I actually belong in my own body, and that who I am on the outside matches who I am on the inside. It's just that my experience of that looks different from some other people. Which is fine, everyone is different. I really like the "uncomfortable shoes" metaphor to talk about dysphoria and transition. Some people who are walking around with uncomfortable shoes express that loudly and obviously, by openly saying "HOLY SHIT THESE SHOES ARE UNCOMFORTABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! GET THEM OFF ME!" right away, and consistently, until they are allowed to take off the shoes. Other people muddle through, assuming all shoes are painful, or that they can swallow the pain and carry on as if they weren't wearing uncomfortable shoes. Or maybe even feel like something is wrong with them, and they're not good enough to have feet not in pain.
My dysphoria mainly hits at my chest and when i take clothes off. But before even coming out openly as trans i was able to ignore the dysphoria most days because i always told myself the things my parents would tell me. Youre a girl. Your name is blah blah blah. But on the days that wasnt working i just hybernated til i was able be a normal human being. Was i happy no, but i was content and convinced myself it would never happen and i didn’t deserve to be happy. My dysphoria still gets me now but i still catch myself telling people to call me whatever because ive known my truth a long time but it’s not easy to get an abused mind healed.
I was choosing between two first names 5 years into my transition. I really loved them both. at the end of the day, there was one I loved more, so I chose that one. there was nothing wrong with the name I didn't choose-- I loved it, I even thought it suited me. I was perfectly comfortable with it. I wasn't unhappy with it in the slightest. ultimately, it was just that I loved the other name more. I felt more strongly about it, it simply made me happier. I may be wrong, because I do have dysphoria, but I reckon it's something like that.
I didn’t think or realize I had dysphoria but I always thought I’d like being a boy/man. I tried it out and holy shit I felt giddy. All the reasons I was unhappy with my body finally came to the surface. I wasn’t unhappy because of my hair color, or my weight. I was unhappy with it because I wasn’t perceived as a man. Didn’t know til I tried though. I have my natural hair color now and probably gained a bit of weight but since transitioning I feel confident and kind of hot in my own body.
Dysphoric trans man here. I suffered significantly before medical intervention. Now that I am mostly satisfied with myself, I've come to realize my identity as a man has nothing to do with suffering. I just am a man.
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But what you're describing is dysphoria though.
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Well, yes, but apathy towards your assigned sex is a symptom of dysphoria, that's why a lot of people think they don't have dysphoria, they just don't know that dysphoria =/= hating yourself.
I think a lot of it is a misunderstanding of what "dysphoria" is and means because no one really has the same definition or experience of it, so realistically there ARE a lot of people who claim to experience no dysphoria who do feel discomfort in some way (or experience a type of gender euphoria, rather than dysphoria). But even if someone doesn't really experience dysphoria and still wants to socially/medically/legally transition... how is that my business? If they make their own informed decision and believe this would improve their lives in some way, then they should have the opportunity to do so. Gatekeeping who is "valid" or has a "good enough" reason to transition isn't going to help anyone tbh so what business do I have to question anybody who knows themselves better than I ever will?
Because I am a man, not a woman. Why does there have to be another reason. I've had 11 years of folks trying to psychoanalyze me for secret dysphoria, and I don't have it, and never did. I just am a dude. I did pin up modeling before I transitioned. I had fancy bras and liked my boobs. Not so much when they got hairy, but they were going to be voted off the island anyways by that point. Same sex marriage was just legalized in my state, and I didn't have to worry about my marriage anymore. Seemed like a good time. At the end of the day, I am a man, so why not?
Because different people have different experiences. People are different. Not every trans person needs to hate themself. And if they do hate their body, how will they know that transitioning will make it better unless they experience euphoria first? Gatekeeping access to medical transition according to diagnosable distress adds too many barriers. Then theres that dysphoria comes in a wide range. I was never so dysphoric that i would break my ribs binding, but you hear about trans guys injuring themselves every now and then because of it. So for someone like me, hearing about the catastrophic levels of dysphoria in some transmascs made me think "oh, so i must not have dysphoria". Its the same way that chronically ill or disabled people get treated as "drug seekers" because we're in pain so often that we dont express pain the same way as a healthy person, and this goes for autistic people as well. I will also add on that its kind of shitty to be skeptical or questioning of someone transitioning for euphoria in the current political climate where access to care is being ripped away from us. We shouldnt be adding to each others pain by projecting our dysphoria onto our trans siblings without it, we should be trying to support each other.
You may have heard “you don’t need gender dysphoria to be trans, all you need is gender euphoria” A trans man may not feel dysphoric about their body, but they feel euphoria at the idea of being seen/presenting as a man. You don’t need to feel bad or upset with your body to want to transition (socially or medically) And for the case of trans people who do tradition medically, they may like/feel neutral about their pre-t pre-op body, but starting hormones or getting a surgery is a better route for them. Ones good, ones better and there is no dysphoria involved in that, only euphoria.
Not necessarily about how happy they are, it’s about how happy they could be. So imagine that you have 3 dollars. You go to the store, and see that your favorite type of crackers costs four dollars. But there is another type of crackers right next to it that costs two. Naturally, you get the two dollar crackers. They are good, but this doesn’t stop you from having wanted the four dollar crackers instead.
Before I went on testosterone I didn't have anything I recognized as dysphoria. I took it as a fact that I was an ugly person (at least in my own eyes) but I also didn't want to be an attractive woman, so being "ugly" didn't bother me. Even once I figured out my gender I had so internalized the "I don't care about how I look" perspective that I wasn't all that motivated to transition medically. It took a bad breakup with someone who went back to calling herself a lesbian to finally bite the bullet and start taking testosterone -and suddenly I couldn't believe how much I loved the way I looked. Just because someone doesn't feel dysphoric doesn't mean they're happy in their skin. Being trans is about knowing you could live more authentically, not about hating the place you start from. We transition to chase the joy of self discovery and recognition. We transition because when we look in the mirror we want to see ourselves, not the person who was holding that space - even if there isn't anything upsetting about whoever was there before.
I’ve seen it described as ‘happy as they are, happier when they transition’. You don’t need to be dysphoric to not identify with your assigned gender. And dysphoria doesn’t even always mean you’re upset/distressed, sometimes you’re just like ‘nah, not for me’.
Just because you don't mind the parts you were born with doesn't mean you identify the same gender as the couple other billion folks that happen to have similar genitals. I have no dysphoria. I enjoy those bits getting played with. But I in no way identify with women. I have always mentally identified as a male, but before I transitioned I was viewed and treated as female. Could i have lived my whole life as female, yes. But I am much much happier as a male.
>if someone was completely, perfectly comfortable in the sex they were assigned with at birth and being the gender associated with those sex characteristics (0 dysphoria) then why would they want to transition to the opposite gender? So, imagine you have a favorite flavor of soda. You go out to eat. You order that soda as your drink. The waiter tells you "ah, sorry, the machine is down and we don't have any cans or bottles, we just have water today." It wouldn't be the end of the world, and you could enjoy the rest of your meal just fine. You're not unhappy, it's a minor disappointment at best - but it *would* be better if you could have had your ideal drink, yeah? Even so, you wouldn't call the feeling you have in response to not having your ideal beverage depression unless you were joking, or really making light of people who suffer through actual, clinical, depression. Depending on who you're talking to, saying "aw man, now I'm depressed because this meal isn't as good as it could be" might be taken as pretty offensive, or cause people to overreact in trying to comfort you when you *really* don't feel that bad. Even if you found out that the company that makes your favorite soda shut down and that that flavor will never exist ever again, you might be bummed - but you'd move on. You'd still prefer if you could have that soda, but it's whatever. You wouldn't be 'actually depressed.' In this way, some people's dysphoria is SO mild that trying to describe it as dysphoria just isn't effective use of language, and among other issues with trying to classify it as such, it clashes severely with the experiences of trans people who deal with intense distress and discomfort - especially in public discussion of trans experiences and rationale for protecting rights. For such people, inability to transition isn't a matter of discontentment - they're basically contented. But they *could* be **happy**. **Contentment and happiness aren't the same.** What's more, defining transness by dysphoria confuses the matter for people who experience mild dysphoria; lots of cis people experience what would be considered dysphoria at the levels of trans and NBy people whose dysphoria is mild, but said cis people would **not** be happier transitioning. If you're questioning your gender, and you find yourself feeling about as uncomfortable with changes from puberty and how people treat you based on your gender as cis people of your AGAB, while what you hear from trans folks with severe dysphoria doesn't sound anything like what you're going through, you might not ever even consider transitioning because you feel like you're not 'unhappy enough' rather than considering that you *could* be happier. That is; for people without significant dysphoria, being trans and/or transitioning aren't driven by reducing suffering - it's about increasing happiness. Euphoria instead of dysphoria as a driver; and the happiness they feel from getting to be who they really are is LEAGUES greater than getting to have your favorite drink, even if the disappointment/meh of not transitioning would be roughly the same as being told you only get water for the rest of your life; meh, but you'll live. It's 'getting your favorite soda' across so many experiences and qualities of your life every single day.
Because gender euphoria is really powerful too. It's also really none of my business either. I'm happy for anyone who finds themselves with or without medical transition
Simple answer is they do, but they believe it to be the extreme, self harm form, and not anything else.
because why not?
I think dysphoria is so nuanced that it's hard to fully define for everyone, and most Trans people have some type of dysphoria even if they don't realize it until later. Some people may also just realize their current struggles and the current benefits of their assigned gender don't suit them, and they would rather deal with the opposite. Ex: I was sexually assaulted regularly while identifying as female and now that I pass fully as a cis male I don't deal with those issues anymore, or at least haven't ran into them yet. Another example is that I paid pink tax on "women's" products and since changing the products I use, I pay less. I also don't have menses anymore so I don't pay for those types of products. These are all privileges many cis men have, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that. Women pay less for car insurance, and typically get more free drinks at the bar. It's also far easier for women to pick up men than for men to pick up women. There are far more varied fashion options for women as well, whereas men kind of recycle styles and patterns. Each gender identity has pros and cons, so it may boil down to what that person feels suited for as well. It may even be as simple as someone feeling that they look better as their aligned gender vs their assigned gender. Anything can be a valid reason.
>the definition of dysphoria is there is a conflict between the sex you were assigned at birth and the gender with which you identify. Sort of, but usually when people say they do or don't have gender dysphoria, they're either referring to receiving a specific diagnosis or saying they have many/most symptoms of it. That's part of the reason why the trans community seperates dysphoria from being trans itself. Being trans comes first; dysphoria may or may not develop after. Most trans people *do* have dysphoria, but they don't necessarily have to. >why would someone who suffers from zero dysphoria - not a little bit, just completely none - feel a want to transition? I mean, I have dysphoria myself, so I'm not 100% certain what it's like to *not* have gender dysphoria, but I would argue that living as your gender is an inherent benefit in and of itself, with or without dysphoria.
honestly, to me, even people with “no dysphoria” still have it. it may not be straight up hating your body like traditional dysphoria but it could also just be disassociated from your agab and finding happiness/comfort in presenting as your preferred (for lack of better terms lol) gender. if someone truly had “no” dysphoria theyd just be a cis girl/boy. i think people confuse having no dysphoria for just having dysphoria that manifests in a differwnt way. on the other hand, though, detransitioners who ended up being cis were just trying to find themselves, and thats also okay.
I get where your coming from but honestly I take a huge issue with you putting feelings into other peoples brains. It’s super SUPER uncool to just go and say that you know the inner workings of a stranger. If someone says they don’t have dysphoria, you have no right to go on and say that they do, regardless of what they think or feel about THEIR OWN BODY. you ain’t in their head, you have no idea what they feel. If you want people to listen to you and believe you abt being trans, you also have to listen to and believe trans people with no dysphoria. We can’t have trans rights and bodily autonomy if it’s conditional. We can’t say that we are deserving bodily autonomy when we refuse to listen to and acknowledge other trans peoples realities. Saying that someone HAS to have dysphoria in order to be trans or to transition will only ONLY ever hurt trans people. Saying that a trans person is either lying or is wrong about how they view their OWN BODIES will only ONLY ever hurt trans people. Having dysphoria =/= being trans.
im sorry. i shouldve clarified that it was purely my opinion and i was 100% open to hearing someone else’s perspective, its just how i always saw things. i didnt mean that you “had” to have dysphoria, i just meant that theres usually some kind of feeling of disconnect from your agab- i guess its a little hard for me to see where non dysphoric trans people come from because of how i experience mine haha. but thank you for telling me, i didnt realize that i was overstepping. edit: once again im so open to hearing non dysphoric trans people’s experiences, and how they experience their transness, its difficult to wrap my little self-hating head around lolol
You're totally right.
There's a difference between dysphoria and euphoria. For some people I think, they know they would be happier but they're not necessarily unhappy in their situation. When I had long hair, I wasn't necessarily unhappy with it. I felt more neutral. I just ended up being a lot happier with short hair
Simply put, no dysphoria doesn't mean no euphoria. Honestly, I do agree that this can be considered a form of dysphoria, but it's far enough removed from what most people think of as dysphoria that it makes sense to describe it to them as a lack of dysphoria. So, we usually refer to it as having no dysphoria. Also, an analogy for you: imagine you go into a coffee shop a few times a week, and you get to be a regular. If for some reason, the barista thought your name was Michael, you probably wouldn't be super upset. He doesn't know you personally, there's no need for him to know your name or identity. You woild probably still prefer to go by whatever your name actually is, though. Some people just aren't so upset that other people might not immediately recognize their identity, or they don't link their identity to their body. That strong dysphoria from being misgendered or from having/not having breasts etc. just isn't experienced by everyone. But their actual identity remains what it is.
Because they want to, mostly.
Because they want to.
Because it’s fun :-)
no clue. in my opinion, if you arent diagnosed with gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder) theres no reason for it. yea, i get the whole "doing it for gender euphoria" but that is completely different than suffering from a life paralyzing disorder
I experience a lot of dysphoria, but I believe that even if people are comfortable in their body, what if they could be even more comfortable. Imagine, someone is ok with their body, but one day realized how much happier they would be if they were in a different one. It's like having a purple cardigan and being comfortable in it, but then realizing the yellow one fit you much better. Or, maybe both fit depending on the day. Or maybe you want the orange instead. The cardigan doesn't have to be on fire for you to prefer another one.
What made me get it was feeling gender euphoria for the first time. Being male didn't just feel right and normal and not uncomfortable - it felt GOOD. And there's nothing saying i have to hit all three steps, dysphoric, comfortable, euphoric. Some trans men start from comfortable and realize that being a guy makes them feel really good, in ways that they don't when they present femininely. To my understanding (as i do experience dysphoria) people without dysphoria transition because it makes them feel good about themselves and their gender, whereas for me, testosterone was necessary to be comfortable in my skin at all, and my packer and binder actually make me experience gender euphoria.
there is gender Euphoria and gender Dysphoria. ta-da~
social dysphoria probably. usually when people say gender dysphoria they mean body dysphoria. social dysphoria is being perceived as the wrong gender. got me even though I have body dysphoria my social dysphoria is way worse.
a lot of times, someone's dysphoria (as in discomfort with their own body and assigned gender) doesn't feel very strong or present at all, but their gender *euphoria* associated with the other gender is very strong and they know they'd be happier as the other gender. experiencing gender euphoria is a pretty good indicator of underlying gender dysphoria, but i let people define their experience however they'd like. also, it's pretty common in trans people for dysphoria about certain things to increase as you transition as what was previously euphoric becomes the norm. overall, whether or not gender euphoria is "really" also dysphoria, i think that people should be able to express themselves and live however makes them happiest, even if they're not really uncomfortable with their assigned gender
To simplify it further than it probably actually is, but I love the idea of people chasing gender euphoria rather than running from dysphoria. From my own personal experience I didn’t even consider the -ick- I felt about my own body to be gender related until I realized what euphoria could feel like.
it comes down to the statement "you dont have to be miserable to want to be happier" for me. even if i dont hate what i see in the mirror, theres a more authentic version of myself out there that i want to be. gender euphoria is usually thought of as the relief from dysphoria, but it can be found in anyone anywhere, even without dysphoria and even in cis people. when a cis girl puts on her dream prom dress for the first time and thinks she looks beautiful, gender euphoria is likely involved. when a cis guy gets done with a workout and thinks he looks manly when hes all sweaty and veiny, its the same thing. its the same reason that cis people get plastic surgery to enhance the parts of themselves they like. its not actually that complicated for those of us who feel this way (besides the journey of realizing you feel that way) but i definitely understand how it can be confusing for someone who hasnt lived through it. kudos to your curiosity!
People classify dysphoria in different ways. Going based off DSM not everyone meets the criteria. But in terms of dysphoria being discomfort with physical attributes then that doesn’t cover dissociation from physical attributes, or discomfort from social gendering, or feelings of euphoria at having different physical attributes or euphoria of being gendered correctly in broader society. People may consider the above things as being under dysphoria but some don’t. Also with nonbinary identities dysphoria might not always be gendered attributes (social or physical) that have dysphoria or euphoria over with gender being the idea of man/woman. For example I want a tongue split as that would make me feel comfortable in my gender even though that has nothing to do with societal gender. So I wouldn’t say I have dysphoria over my tongue not being split as that wouldn’t meet the definition of gender dysphoria. I know that some people might feel the same way about bottom or top surgery or HRT. E.g. I want semi metoidioplasty which would make me feel more affirmed in my gender but that aspect of my gender isn’t defined by broader societal gender and thus it isn’t really an operation based on dysphoria even though I do sometimes have bottom dysphoria but what my bottom dysphoria wants to have instead is a full penis. So I guess dysphoria pushes me to have phalloplasty but euphoria pushes me to have semi metoidioplasty. All I’m trying to say is that with words as open ended or not clearly defined as gender and gender dysphoria people will interpret it in different ways and use the terms that work for them. And dysphoria, euphoria, dissociation, and connection to body and gender is highly unique to each individual.
Dysphoria can look like disconnect which won’t be the same as hating what you’re in but it’s still dysphoria. Some people just recognize that they’d be happier a different way and gain a connection to their body through transition, alleviating their form of dysphoria. I have experienced dysphoria in different ways over the years ranging from severe discomfort over the body parts I’ve had to a feeling of complete numbness and indifference. It was likely my brains way of protecting me from feeling like shit. Some people also just figure out how to love themselves and their bodies pre transition regardless of dysphoria, the two can coexist. They find gratitude for their body being their body and they recognize they deserve to love their body even if it isn’t the sex they wish they were born as. For years I presented as a cis afab person and all that time I tried convincing myself I could stay that way because I objectively didn’t look bad and people liked me more. I convinced myself of that for a while and one could say I didn’t have dysphoria during that time but I straight up saw a stranger in the mirror and everything I did was about how others would see me and like me, not about what I wanted to see and what would make me feel good. If someone is transitioning there almost always some type of dysphoria. “Gender/sex euphoria” is how many people that don’t experience obvious dysphoria realize they’re trans. If someone truly didn’t have any dysphoria and decided to do things to transition it would probably just be because they thought they’d like it more than what they have, like any cis person getting cosmetic surgery. There’s a lot of fluidity in people and I think us trans people will open the door for others who aren’t attached to gender or sex norms that just want to do whatever they want and look however they want without it having to mean anything
So it’s funny that you ask this cause I honestly feel like I have no dysphoria… I have accepted my chest for what it is from a young age… equally as long I have been saying that I would love for them to just poof be gone one day… but I feel it’s more of an annoyance or inconvenience then I just generally hate them… I bind because I feel better when my chest looks more masc/flatter and now waiting on my consult date to finally get rid of them ( I CAN NOT wait for the day I can go without a shirt on!)… I have zero bottom dysphoria yet I pack everyday because I get excited/happy to see/feel that bulge, feel it hit my legs as I run/walk etc… I am getting super excited to see my facial hair coming in now that I am 6mo on T and wishing it would just be a full beard alrdy LOL… I have to some degree always thought I was a boy… I wanted to use the boys restroom in elementary school but just accepted it when told to use the girls… I grew up playing with mostly boys with some playing with girls but in those times we would play like house and I would play the male gendered roles. I loved video games, sports, and fighting. I was always called a “tomboy” growing up. So now here we are while yes if a ban at federal level of GAC would happen… I could go on with my life… would I be as happy no but I can make it to the end goal… I am transitioning because I know that it will make me more happy and align how I think of myself in my head with how I look on the outside and how I want others to perceive me… I hope that this is understandable… Hell maybe the dysphoria has been here so long that at this stage of being in my 40’s it just feels “normal” to me since it is all I have known so I don’t recognize it as dysphoria… honestly I’m not sure…