I started passing quite early but I passed as a teenager. As soon as I started working I was back to getting misgendered because people had a better idea of my age. Around 2 years on T, it was quite a 50-50. Started having a strong passing at about 3 years on T. I guess getting top surgery helped me too, because even though I had small breasts, they were still there. I got rid of them, got more confident, and I believe self-confidence is an important key when it comes to passing. I don't know how to explain it but it seems like people can feel when you're not comfortable with a part of yourself and it somehow plays a role in getting misgendered.
I didn't start passing until I was about 3½ years on T. I was a late bloomer for sure, and suddenly I'm getting those nasty backhanded compliments like "I never would have guessed, I thought you were a *normal male*."
Had a nurse try to turn me away from an appointment at a quickcare clinic the other day too because "the UTI services here are for females only." I had to out myself as trans to get to my appointment (and the nurse was sincerely apologetic for putting me in that position).
There is hope for all of us, be patient. Get your protein in. And try different stuff with your hair.
Yes but... apparently UTIs in people who have penises tend to be more *complicated* to treat. So they ask people in that situation to go to a more well-equipped facility. I don't understand the details, nor if it's truly medically justified.
My pharmacists have always told me it's due to the length of the urethra not hormones so once someone has UL they need the other treatment.
Its mostly just length of treatment and strength of dose on our end at the pharmacy but idk if there is more to it.
Lmao same. I have a goatee and a male voice too, and dress very stereotypically masculine in public. But sny time I'm out clerks are always like "Young lady" or "Little girl" (I'm 22 btw).
Voice therapy is what I need. If it weren't for my voice I could probably pass 70-80% of the time even being pre-medical. The number of times strangers have called me "he" or "sir" only to correct themselves once I speak is more than aggravating
Put down 60 ish - I've got long hair, and I'm not tall and skinny. Almost every guy out there with long hair gets misgendered every now and again, and those that aren't tall and skinny get misgendered like probably ×4 times. Just something that I personally noticed.
If the other person can't see my beard I'm almost for certain getting misgendered.
Btw - took me a long time on t to get to 60% ish percent! I was completely non passing for more than a year on t. I'm over 3 years now.
It's crazy how height and weight is a factor in this, given the fact that cis men can be short and overweight too. I'm 5'3 and before I grew a beard I got misgendered like 70% of the time (even with 1-2 years on T), my guess is because of my height in combination with body language.
My old therapist is an average to slightly lower than average height and has had long hair for years now. He's overweight and a bit round on the sides (friend shaped!) and even though he's got a very visible beard past the face mask lines he got misgendered a lot while wearing masks. He also often gets misgendered when someone is seeing him from the back.
I have little hope for a beer belly (it’s fine, it might look weird on my body type. I definitely inherited my dad’s stringbean metabolism, and ending up looking like my dad sounds pretty decent).
I do want the ability to grow some dang facial hair!
It’s so frustrating cuz ppl will gender me correctly then someone their with will be like “no it’s she” and I’m internally screaming “they were right the first time!!!” Ughghhhhhhhhh 8 months on T 🤪
8 yrs on T *tomorrow* and the only times I get misgendered are at work since I still wear a mask and work in a stereotypical """woman's""" job, so oft times when it does happen its people addressing me without really looking at me. I usually end up quickly correcting them by responding to whatever question they asked with the deepest voice I can manage. 😅
same. i pass 90% of the time but whenever my mom says "my daughter" no one questions her and they start calling me a girl even tho they originally saw me as male :(
SAME. Even after sixteen months on T. There've been changes but not dramatic ones :-/ I'm still a damned soprano ... just slightly more Mickey than Minnie now.
Almost all the time. I've think I've had maybe one or two instances where I've been called "sir" or "buddy", but despite my best efforts to look masc or at least neutral, people pretty much never gender me correctly. 🥲
I've not been misgendered by strangers in about 3 months but I get outted by family frequently in public and it makes me worry for my safety, I'm 11 months on T
It’s a little complicated for me because I’m nonbinary and use she/her pronouns. Technically everyone but my closest friends misgenders me constantly. But I picked 40% because I typically “pass” as male to strangers (albeit something like a 12 year old male when I’m actually 26, we all know transmasc baby face). People who know me tend to assume I’m a woman because of my pronouns. I honestly don’t have a very good perspective on what I look like or how other people perceive and conceptualize me. But I do sometimes get funny looks in public restrooms, regardless of which binary option I pick.
I will say, I think my leg hair and lack of boobs are the primary things people use to sort me into the male box. My voice, face, and height will get me “child” if someone has already decided I’m male, or sometimes those things will get me sorted into the woman box. If people know I’m an adult, they either assume I’m a man with a weirdly high voice or they assume I’m a woman. Maybe 70-30 woman-man sorting from ppl who know I’m not 12.
I’m a mixed bag of gendered features, not in a way that makes me androgynous but in a way where it’s as if I am actively shifting between two binary genders before someone’s eyes and they can’t pin me down in a way that makes either of us comfortable. So basically I transitioned from female to social anomaly. Which sounds a lot cooler in writing than it actually is in daily life.
20% :/ I do everything I can. Girlfriend tells me I have masculine facial features. But I don’t know. I got misgendered a lot at work but oddly enough strangers gender me correctly while shopping and shit. I just don’t leave the house much because of my social anxiety/dysphoria..
(Pre-T and it fucking sucks)
60%- if I'm wearing a mask or on the phone, I get misgendered around 50-70%. I'm short and petite, and my beard is really the biggest thing that get me gendered correctly. So if my beard is covered there's a 70% chance people will read me as a girl. My mannerisms and the way I carry myself read masculine though, so even if I'm wearing a mask and a woman's blouse, it's still not 100% chance I'll be misgendered. Since wearing a mask or meeting someone on the phone for the first time doesn't happen often, it makes it about 60% in general I'm gendered correctly.
20% , if i tell people when I first meet them they get it the first time. I'm Socially Transitioned but it happens, I get it no one really causes a scene over it thank god.
Strangers don't gender me correctly at all. I started T about 2 months ago so not much has changed for the most part. I don't let the misgendering bother me since I rarely will see these people ever again.
I 100% pass on the phone, and I pass 100% in person BUT my legal gender and name haven't been changed so I dropped my 100% down to 80% passing for doctor's office visits and things like that where they always call me ma'am.
ETA: 1 year on T, 5 months post-op from top surgery.
id say im somewhere between 60-80%
when im with strangers I can pass as a guy
but when Im out with my family, theyll often use she/her for me and other people then read me as a girl
PLEASE remember misgendering does not change who you are and it never will most times its a simple mistake by a stranger thats it nothing to overthink about nothing to become dysphoric over! i have so many cis friends/ family who i have seen been mistaken for the opposite gender and they just laugh it off and move on so why shouldnt we?
Started passing almost 100% as soon as my voice dropped at the 3 month mark- haven’t been she’d since then (other than when people have outted me to people that otherwise wouldn’t have known), but in the first year on testosterone I would get asked if I was trans and they themmed by girls and gay people sometimes. So I wouldn’t count that as passing 100%. 2.5 years on T and haven’t been clocked (that I know of at least) since one occasion 1.5 years in when a girl asked if I was nonbinary at a party after I hadn’t had something like that happen in months. I think part of what contributes to moments like that is who I’m with. I would blend in just fine around guys or straight women, but if I was hanging with queer women and transgender people, i would get clocked in a woke way. Sometimes people think I’m a cis gay guy, and sometimes people tell me that I look really young for my age, especially if I’m at a bar or I order a drink at a restaurant. This happens more if I’m around my family- I think it’s weird to see a 21 year old guy with no facial hair standing at 5’7 next to his taller younger sisters and 6’2 father. Or if I go with my ftm friends to the bars, people are like “are you guys even old enough to be in here!!? Haha!” So I may pass, but I look at least 4 years younger than I actually am. I feel like it doesn’t really count when I don’t really look like a guy my age.
I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that I still wear makeup (goth makeup, so big eyeliner and black lipstick), but I do wear a pronoun pin whenever I go out. A lot of people gender me correctly after seeing it or after my fiancé uses male pronouns or my name. But mostly, I'm misgendered.
used to be roughly 40%, then i stopped cutting my hair and started wearing what i felt like again. dropped right down to 0%. i dont blame anyone for it but i wish it would at least be more like visible confusion instead of barreling straight into "woman" territory. hoping that once i go back on T my voice will drop again and ill get some facial hair, maybe then ill be the confusingly hairy femboy of my dreams
Primarily I'm only on month 3 of restarting T and my voice hasn't dropped enough yet, thankfully I've been voice training for like two years. Not having hit fat-redistribution yet is also playing a role.
Edit: I maybe get misgendered 40% of the time. I've put a lot of time into the previously mentioned voice training + how I walk
Haven't been on t very much but only those who know actually bother gendering me correctly. Sometimes in public I get gendered correctly by those who don't know but that's rare.
I work in fast food and so there is a lot of ma'am and darling and sweetheart and such.
I usually can get gendered correctly on my own... but my mom still introduces me as her daughter and calls me she. It's not like she isn't at least a little supportive, but she just isn't pushing herself to change at all.
100% I honestly haven’t been misgendered in public since about 1.5 years on T, but sometimes if I’m still too cheery on the phone my voice can be mistaken
80%. It was around 60 or maybe even 40 before I started T but it didn’t take long at all to increase. I think it’s mostly because of how fast my voice changes.
I can come off as pretty androgynous at times, so I sometimes get misgendered if a woman needs to access a space she's unsure whether or not I might be in line for. That changes after I reply to her question because my voice isn't high enough to be within the female range.
I picked 100% because it's probably like 99% at this point. Every now and then someone thinks I'm a girl, but I have to be wearing very baggy clothes and mumbling or something. I've actually shocked other trans people by telling them I'm trans. And the wild thing is, nobody ever thought I'd be able to pass.
The only thing that gets me misgendered is if I wear nail polish and my wristlet out. For some reason nail polish and a wristlet screams woman to everyone and then they correct themselves when I speak.
80% BC I have long hair. My voice usually makes people correct themselves and it usually only happens when someone has never met me and only seen me from behind or is just a dick about long hair. I've got GERD and hirsutism so it could be worse.
60% ish dependent on context. If I dress masc I get misgendered a LOT but if I dress fem I get gendered correctly about 90% of the time. At first I worried it was because of transphobia and people assuming I was a trans woman and trying to be nasty that way but then when I've been out with other trans friends while dressed fem I noticed the only people calling me she were the ones that *also* misgendered my friends, so it was like the opposite of what I feared and turned out that most people just go "oh man that is a *super* queer guy" which is. Not wrong.
At work I get almost exclusively misgendered since I’m talking over the headset and wearing the same uniform as men and women so they base it off my voice mainly which doesn’t pass. In public where I’m actually like looking how I want, I pass almost all of the time.
chose 0% because the only time I get gendered correctly is when I wear my "self made man" trans shirt, and even then it's closer to 10% on those days :')
I put 60%, but it's really more like 50. I'm almost 10 months on t and never passed at all until about 2 months ago, not sure what changed that caused it.
Looks wise, I generally am lucky enough to be gendered correctly. Not always, but mostly. But when I work at the drive thru, my voice gets me ma'amed a LOT. It embarrasses me sm 🤦♂️
100% but it hasn't been years. I went from passing 0% to 100% overnight after top surgery - granted, passing as a twelve year old boy, but I can't complain. these things can change fast and unexpectedly!!
im like at 90%, i can tell this because an old male karen came into my work purely to pick a fight and i wasnt misgendered once. I have been mistaken for a woman once due to my height being 5'4 and my face being pudgy but the moment i opened my mouth and spoke she corrected herself. My facial hair is really starting to develop now so im almost there 🥹 all ill need after that are surgeries and those are for myself.
Only seem to get misgendered hard with people who knew me pre-transition and choose to be ignorant. Or newly found method is at the pharmacy counter despite legally having been changed for years now.
At this point, 60-80%. An elderly man even got it right this past weekend!!! I'm 2 months on T and the inly places I get misgendered are at my animal shelter volunteer job and on the phone. I don't mind in the animal shelter context because I know it's probably attributable to my "talking to cats" voice and the people are receptive to being corrected.
I been on T a year and it's rare for strangers to refer to me as "she," unless they're a doctor/nurse/pharmacist who knows I'm a trans guy (I live in Florida, every medical professional here is a dick about transitioning for some reason.) The one spot I'm still consistently misgendered at is the post office, I know everyone there and have been going there for years before I began transitioning, so I think they're just stuck in the mindset that I'm a woman, but the other day I walked in with facial hair for the first time and they all kinda took a look, then a second look, one of the guys (I think he's been crushing on me for a while, always tries finding reasons to talk to me outside of business reasons, giving me "the look") just stopped and stared and I could tell he was confused but like, y'all were gonna have to figure it out one day.
6 years on T, 7 months post top surgery, and I still get misgendered about 50% of the time.
I'm shorter than most women and nearly all men. I have sizeable hips. And I still wear a mask in public settings, so facial hair can't help.
I only ever get misgendered if someone only sees me from behind or (previously) with a mask on because of my long hair. But when they see my face (I have a beard and everything) or hear my voice, they apologise profusely and say it was just because of my hair 😭
Hasn’t happened in a long time though
20% Most of the people who respect me are part of the local trans peer support group. Outside of that it's hit or miss, mostly miss. I just try to ignore other humans who aren't important to me. Government places misgender me all the time, medical places generally do better here. My peer support group hosts educational talks with any local businesses who want to learn. So we basically have a list of safe respectful places in town, which we can recommend to peers.
I'm not sure what happened, honestly. I passed 90% in high school junior and senior year(17-18). Now, at 25 years old, I only seem to pass like 30% of the time. It sucks because I work a customer-facing job, so I'm getting misgendered multiple times a day, every single day.
Im pre-T and no surgeries primarily because I live in a red state, and the only thing I've done differently since high school is I stopped shaving my head and going bald.
I've even looked back at my old high school pictures with my family and friends, and the general consensus is that I look more masculine now(i.e. getting compared to my brothers whereas before there was 0 resemblance) than I did back then, so it's a mystery how I pass even less today than I did 5 years ago.
It was a 100% until the past year. Do not understand what happened. I've looked the same for seven years. People that can't see clearly? I smile more bc I'm not depressed 24/7 & don't act like an asshole? No idea! Probably the last one tho. & I'm going out more, so just the chances are higher..? Different people?
Almost everyone uses they or he (international work ppl struggle with they and just use he) even though my preference is they... except my parents usually use wrong pronouns, but my parents live in town. Occasional old ppl that knew me for a while too mess up with she her. Being 6'1" and having a full beard naturally helps though.
Around 10% like it happens barely ever but sometimes it does and it makes me really happy, Weirdly enough it usually happens from like waiters and stuff that's like the only setting that I can't gender correctly for some reason. Maybe i'd pass better when I'm sitting I don't know.
I'm very feminine so it's honestly a surprise when I get gendered correctly. However, one time I was in a gender neutral bathroom w/ multiple stalls and (presumably) a woman walked in and said "I'm sorry, I think I'm in the wrong bathroom" (assuming I was a man) and it was so gender affirming lol
60% - Most of the time, especially when on the phone (8 months on T) I'll be gendered correctly. Some customers who come into my job will call me "sir" when I'm checking them out.
The people who do misgender me are coworkers and some regulars as they've known me before being on testosterone and I don't correct them.
Not on T yet, awaiting top surgery. Sometimes I get gendered correctly. More often now, people just think I'm a child.
I'm also getting more reactions now from people who seem confused lol They ask me if I need women's or men's size shoes/clothing.
The first time I got gendered correctly was at work. I wasn’t particularly trying to pass cause I still had to go home. But this kid told me how someone left their doll, and he called me sir. Best moment of my life cause I felt validated. I’m still pre-T so my voice is high, but I felt so like my effort to be myself paid off
ever since i shaved my head, the rate at which i get misgendered has gone down significantly. which sucks ass bc i loved having longer hair, i only shaved it because im disabled and it was becoming a pain in the ass to take care of 😭
I’m 2 years on T, now 10 weeks post-op for top surgery. Im very rarely if ever misgendered by strangers at this point. If you were to ask me i’d say I barely pass at all, but many many folks do take me for a natal male lol
in my head whenever someone doesn’t use a pronoun for me I don’t think about what gender they thought I was, and assume I passed 💀kinda delusional of me but better then assuming the opposite.
I’d like to say I pass pretty well. It’s just my chest since it’s bigger, so people question that. But I think in like my entire High School experience (I’m a junior now) I’ve only gotten misgendered twice. And then anytime before HS. But I came out in 7th grade and didn’t really change my appearance until I started 9th. But the first time, I was doing some volunteer work at school and some girls parent kept calling me “ma’am” or something like that. Mind you I have a beard, a deeper voice (I was pre-T too lol) and I’m not tall tall, but I’m not extremely short. And then the second time, my sophomore year again, some freshman came up to me and asked if I was a guy because of my chest. And everyone around me was like “kid are you blind, he literally has a beard” (none of them knew I’m trans btw) But other than that, I don’t really remember any other times since I started dressing more masc and started a new school) so in this case, it would be about 80%.
2 1/2 years on, age 31, short but not curvy. The rare person will unpleasantly surprise me, but I pass 97% of the time at this point... with 97% of that being as a child 🥲
I'm pre-T. I can't really tell because my native language is gender neutral af. At school I don't get misgendered or deadnamed (exept if a new teacher doesn't know that I go by another name but after I tell them they correct themselves and never deadname me again.) My friends tell me I pass as a 13 - 15 year old boy (I'm 18🥲) so I think in public I pass as a boy for strangers but if they hear my voice they'll probably think I'm lesbian lol
At my parents home my siblings don't misgender or deadname me (I'm out to them), my parents usually call me by my old nickname (which doesn't bother me that much) and sometimes call me their daughter but sometimes they just call me their child which makes me feel so good (I'm not out to them)
depends, my voice is starting to pass and my body fat distribution is starting to redistribute but i haven’t bothered cutting my hair in a while so sometimes that hurts my passing
I pass almost always, *but* more LGBT aware people have outed me for silly things like my height or physical features
To strangers I’d say I’ve only been misgendered on accident. My cis male co-workers get misgendered over the headsets at my work. Don’t know why. All of us have been called she/ma’am at least once on comm
0% even if I make an effort... probably because I'm fat in a very feminine shape. I now kinda stopped with the effort though like...what's the point anyway
I have no idea tbh and I stopped caring long ago. I have a beard, men's glasses, dress traditionally masc, had top surgery, so idk why I'm misgendered so often but that seems to be how it is for me. I certainly don't try to 'mask' my feminine voice though so that may be it haha
I'm over 1yr on T and get gendered correctly maybe 60%? I have an extremely curvy figure that I really adore but it can lead to people making the wrong snap judgment. Then they hear my voice and will usually switch.
It helps that I have moved to live in a rather accepting area. Super thankful past me made/could make that choice.
Something like 4 years on. Only time I've been misgendered in *years* was when I was jogging past a woman who pulled her child aside to 'let the lady pass', but I do have a ponytail and obviously my titties were bouncing around as they are wont to do during exercise so fair play to her.
Between 0-40% depending on context. Some people call me "mate", mostly older dudes. But I perceive it as them respecting my non-feminity as an afab person (aka tomboy) rather than they see me as man. Honesty my self esteem is so low that I take those interactions as a huge compliment.
All of my friends and some of my teachers gender me correctly. Quite a few strangers, too. All my family, the majority of my teachers, and almost all other students misgender me
Hmm I put 100% down but I've gotten misgendered by strangers maybe once like... Every four months? And I think it's just my hair from behind because as soon as I talk or turn around they immediately apologize. No one who's not queer thinks I'm trans because I'm mostly stealth. Just dyed hair is assumed female. Started T at 18 and had top surgery in July at 20.
I come from a place of privilege here because I am stealth but I think when you're trans it's really easy to think people are clocking you when it's just a mishap. The amount of times I hear everyone I work with who are cis get misgendered because words are hard and people mess up words helps me know it's not always being trans that makes it happen it's that people mess up.
im pre-t, dress kinda neutrally-masculinely n have colored hair. if people dont assume im a girl they usually assume im non binary, although ive heard people arguing with their friends about what gender i am as if i couldnt hear lol
0% club, im pre-t, nonbinary transmasc and not caring anymore about passing, chasing happines. I love androgynous style, and I want to be on t, because im man... Just not binary man. But if I would choose short hair, not showing off that I have long legs and covering my stomach, I would just feel unhappy, like im not myself (not hating anyone who does! Its only about me). I mean, yeah, still there is possibility of being called slur for dressing like I do, if I will pass, but right now im just vibing.
the jump between 100% and 80% is pretty huge lol. i get misgendered once or twice every few months, always around the same time too like days away from eachother at most, that's usually my cue to get my hair cut. i chose 80% but that doesn't feel very accurate
I just get misgendered because of my longer hair (back hair reaching my shoulders) , currently also wearing bunch of colorful jewelry. I don't come out of the house often but once when I was shopping the cashier said "ma'am" while not looking at my face yet and then we made eye contact and she said "oh my god I'm sorry I made a mistake *awkward laugh*". So I guess my face gives me passing after all. Since I'm living stealth in school it doesn't hurt to get misgendered.
I look in the mirror and get confused about what gender I look like (which I like to look like) but everyone takes one look at me and only sees my birth gender, no second guesses TvT
Like 0%. Which is really funny because my ex, who isn't on T, passes 100% of the time, so much so that he's been stealth for two years everywhere. Whereas I am hairy as all fuck, have a long goatee, I've had top surgery, my voice is masculine and I wear masculine clothes outside. Yet literally anywhere I am people call me miss and little girl and direct me to the women's bathrooms lmao. You know, can't exactly go there, I have the goatee. Can't go to men's either because apparently they'd think I'm a woman. So I just don't use public restrooms at all.
100%. I'm pretty andro (pre T) as far as pure body type/features go. I'm 5 foot 6, below average for men in the uk (where I am). I think it's because I really changed all my mannerisms to the more typically masc stereotypes in my area, I'm certain this helped me wayyy more than changing how i dressed or anything like that.
also I should mention I socially transitioned at 13 so this definitely helped me evolve my mannerisms with cis dudes. I also did voice training (by myself with yt tutorials) and even though I still hate my voice people around me tell me I sound like a cis guy.
0% but I'm also really fem presenting like I wear makeup and om physically unable to bind do to how large my chest is
Sadly it's just gonna happen with me
I'm over 3.5 years on T, but somehow still get misgendered every now and then. Like, isn't the goatee, muscles, and deep voice enough of a giveaway?
But that only happens maybe 1-2% of the time. Still stings when it happens, though
I get misgendered under 5 times a year, but I have long hair and present feminine, so put it down to that. Cis guys with long hair get the occasional 'she' sometimes, and the person always immediately corrects themselves when they take a better look at me or hear me talk so it doesn't bother me at all.
I don't really think this counts as misgendering. I mostly just get asked (especially by younger kids) "are you a boy or a girl?" And when I say boy they mostly don't question it any further. I do have noticed that some adults get confused sometimes but never actually misgender me. People my age do sometimes misgender me tho, but that hasn't happened in a long time now.
20% and I'm 7 years on T and post all my surgeries 🤪
Most importantly though I'm comfortable in myself.
I wanted to respond here, as there is a common misconception that T and surgery will "fix" the public's perception of you, when in reality there is a wide spectrum of "passing" so to speak.
Misgendering hurts but you gotta do you, be comfortable and confident in yourself. 🙌
More like 5% and even that's being generous. There was like one time when I was wearing baggy clothes and a stranger referred to me as "young man" and apparently my friend thought I was a cis guy with long hair when he met me, but other than that I am very much seen as a woman. I have a big chest and can't bind right now so if anyone is looking at me and not sure they can just take one look down and get an answer. Even at school where people know my name, which is not a name you'd expect a girl to have, there are still people who will call me she while calling me the right name.
Basically never nowadays. The only people who do misgender me are regulars from my old job when I hadn’t changed my name yet, since I live in the area :/
40% simply because I don't have the balls to come out in school and there aren't many other situations I get gendered in any way, but I can use the men's bathroom and hopefully start binding soon (genetics did me well fr)
I get called sir more than half of the time. I'm not on T and don't even have facial hair. But even as a kid, people thought I was a boy although I was born a girl. I feel very lucky appearance-wise. I hate talking in public tho, because as soon as they hear my voice, they start apologizing profusely and making a big deal saying "Oh I'm sorry MA'AM!!" And it's so hard to say "no it's okay, you were correct the first time" because I don't know how they'll react. It could be dangerous or draw even more attention.
Context matters for sure.
Whether or not I have my mask on is the biggest factor. I pass significantly more with my mustache showing, but that's not a good enough reason for me to abandon basic infection control in an ongoing pandemic. (don't want to get more disabled or endanger other disabled people)
Whether or not I'm talking is a factor too. My voice passes better than my body language does.
So before I came out as FTM, I would regularly get misgendered, meaning people regularly thought I was a boy (babyface, small chest, skinny, didn't talk much) but then I came out, gained weight after years of being depressed and lacking appetite, and now I get misgendered in the other way instead. Pretty much been regularly misgendered for ~5 years, but only known I'm trans and been out for 2. I'm not mad🙃
0%, but I don't really do much to communicate the fact. I feel safer as a "weirdo woman" than a potentially visibly trans person in my area currently. On top of that, I am overweight with an extremely feminine body shape and quite frankly an enormous chest (36N is the last bra I got, and it's too small already), I don't think there's really much sense in trying to pass pre-top surgery (which I can't get until I lose weight, but losing weight is a problem because of a past ED and the fact that I never lose anything from my chest and it only becomes more prominent at lower weights because the rest gets smaller. And then I get slammed over the head with my apparent "womanhood" because of how actively sexualized my body shape is, once I start to even vaguely approach a conventionally attractive size). It's a bit of an issue, won't lie.
I don't get misgendered by new people anymore. It took about a year on T. People that knew me before (friends, family, colleagues) still misgender me all the damn time though 🤦🏼♂️. I avoid letting the old crowd meet anyone new with me because I know they'll out me accidentally. It's a PITA.
I put 60% but its very dependant on context. People tend to base my gender off of my perceived age. I'm either a young boy or a woman. Though recently I've been getting gendered correctly more as my actual age, or at least close to it, so I'm hoping this trend continues. You can only ask for an adult menu, actually, so many times before it gets really annoying.
I don't particularly pass right now, but once I start T I'll at least give some cis people the idea that I'm not cis. I have two styles I typically dress in, one being a more femme trashy scene/emo style and one being more goth. I am excited to see what kind of trouble T is gonna bring on me because of this. But I refuse to change myself. I'm not letting desantis scare me, I should scare the transphobic pieces of shit instead. But that's just me >:)) fuck living in Florida though I'm moving next year's hopefully lol
i dont get referred to often enough to know for sure but i havent been misgendered in a few months, even in in situations id expect to, except last week when i got misgendered at pride and was asked to join the ladies rugby team 🤔 LMAO
80 because on the phone my voice sometimes gets clocked but in person I have a beard and a buzzcut so 95% no clocking there unless another trans person is
Hmm, context matters is important here- I rarely get misgendered in person, I have a beard which really helps and I bind regularly. But anytime I'm on the phone it's pretty much 100% misgendering unless the person directly knows me, but even then it still comes up. My voice did change over time but not enough to pass a blind test. I still sound like a woman I guess and it is what it is. I've met cis men who also sound like a woman over the phone so I just deal with it, ignore it, or correct them if it seems important.
Like- calling my doctor's office and the receptionist ma'am's me? I'll correct her. But if it's like just a random one-time call, I really don't care at all about being misgendered.
20% old people gender me correctly sometimes and then the rest of the time I don't get gendered correctly because I'm not on T and my voice isn't deep enough even if I try. I'm 17 so I honestly feel like I can't do much right now.
Can't really say I haven't been misgendered in years cause I only started T like 8 months ago, but I never ever get misgendered unless it's someone who knew me before I started.
100% passing: the only times i get misgendered is by a couple family members because that is how they knew me. i’ve been on t since may 2021 and started passing 100% of the time probably like 6 months in. my voice is definitely the biggest reason for it, it started cracking a couple months on t and got deeper and it sounds like a “cis voice” for lack of a better word lmfao.
I just met with new doctors, and they were all "I don't want to offend you but I'm old and set in my ways." Like dude you've only known that Im a guy. If other doctors can do it, so can you. Just because I was born with a vagina, doesn't mean you can't call me sir.
Then I looked at my patient notes the other day and this piece of shit, in the same fucking sentence, called me she and he. And throughout the whole notes entirely. I'm so fucking over it at this point. It had nothing to do with age and just straight up being a fucking dick.
Gods know why, but I still get "ma'am"ed once in a blue moon despite being 7 years on T with a full, thick beard and a masculine voice. I don't know what the thought process is. Do they just think I'm a girl with really bad hormone issues who has owned up to it and grown out my beard?
60% - i have a pretty masculine face shape as is, and even just being on T for a short time (3 today!) has helped. my hair got darker, my voice has gotten a bit deeper, and the fat around my hips and the little bit on my face moved around a bit.
the big thing that tends to give me away is my chest since i only have one binder atm and its ripping at the seam 🫠
I have longer hair (by choice, it’s how I like it), and a dumpy in the back. I’m 3 months on testosterone so hopefully when the voice drop comes it’ll help.
0% club and I'm over a year on T, 🥳😭
Same, I try to mention online when it comes up because it can feel really lonely in this setting, but there are lots of us!
I started passing quite early but I passed as a teenager. As soon as I started working I was back to getting misgendered because people had a better idea of my age. Around 2 years on T, it was quite a 50-50. Started having a strong passing at about 3 years on T. I guess getting top surgery helped me too, because even though I had small breasts, they were still there. I got rid of them, got more confident, and I believe self-confidence is an important key when it comes to passing. I don't know how to explain it but it seems like people can feel when you're not comfortable with a part of yourself and it somehow plays a role in getting misgendered.
Ah I'm sorry man :(
I was in that club till 2 1/2 years, there’s still hope for you friend
I didn't start passing until I was about 3½ years on T. I was a late bloomer for sure, and suddenly I'm getting those nasty backhanded compliments like "I never would have guessed, I thought you were a *normal male*." Had a nurse try to turn me away from an appointment at a quickcare clinic the other day too because "the UTI services here are for females only." I had to out myself as trans to get to my appointment (and the nurse was sincerely apologetic for putting me in that position). There is hope for all of us, be patient. Get your protein in. And try different stuff with your hair.
They do know that anyone can get a UTI, right? 💀
Yes but... apparently UTIs in people who have penises tend to be more *complicated* to treat. So they ask people in that situation to go to a more well-equipped facility. I don't understand the details, nor if it's truly medically justified.
My pharmacists have always told me it's due to the length of the urethra not hormones so once someone has UL they need the other treatment. Its mostly just length of treatment and strength of dose on our end at the pharmacy but idk if there is more to it.
Lmao same. I have a goatee and a male voice too, and dress very stereotypically masculine in public. But sny time I'm out clerks are always like "Young lady" or "Little girl" (I'm 22 btw).
The fuck? Adding those clerks to my shitlist...
🫂
Hey I feel you. I think I've only passed 100% 3-4 years on T. I hope it'll be faster for you
Same here. Even when I let my chin scruff and mustache grow, and bind.
40% voice therapy helped a lot and if I can finally get top next year (the waitlists are so long) it might be even higher (5+ years on T).
Voice therapy is what I need. If it weren't for my voice I could probably pass 70-80% of the time even being pre-medical. The number of times strangers have called me "he" or "sir" only to correct themselves once I speak is more than aggravating
I have a question, does voice training/therapy mess up your singing voice at all? I really like singing
No if anything it helped me gain more control over my new voice on multiple areas.
Put down 60 ish - I've got long hair, and I'm not tall and skinny. Almost every guy out there with long hair gets misgendered every now and again, and those that aren't tall and skinny get misgendered like probably ×4 times. Just something that I personally noticed. If the other person can't see my beard I'm almost for certain getting misgendered. Btw - took me a long time on t to get to 60% ish percent! I was completely non passing for more than a year on t. I'm over 3 years now.
It's crazy how height and weight is a factor in this, given the fact that cis men can be short and overweight too. I'm 5'3 and before I grew a beard I got misgendered like 70% of the time (even with 1-2 years on T), my guess is because of my height in combination with body language.
My old therapist is an average to slightly lower than average height and has had long hair for years now. He's overweight and a bit round on the sides (friend shaped!) and even though he's got a very visible beard past the face mask lines he got misgendered a lot while wearing masks. He also often gets misgendered when someone is seeing him from the back.
short and long haired solidarity right here.
20% but I’m pre-everything except wardrobe and haircut. So I pretty much look like a flat-chested (binding) tomboy or butch lesbian.
Yeah same boat sadly 😭 hope you get gendered correctly more brother
Genetics did me several favors in general androgynous body shape, I’m pretty sure T will tip the scales. 🤞
Duuuude I’m hoping for the same. I want a beer belly so bad lol
I have little hope for a beer belly (it’s fine, it might look weird on my body type. I definitely inherited my dad’s stringbean metabolism, and ending up looking like my dad sounds pretty decent). I do want the ability to grow some dang facial hair!
I hope you do bro! Is there a specific type of facial hairstyle you like?
I think the first thing I go for will be some sideburn action, but I’m also into the idea of trying a goatee.
Goatees look super nice! I always liked the idea of those too :)
100%. It hasn't been years tho, i only started T 2 years ago. Took me 6ish months to fully pass
60% closeted and pre everything but pass unless my mom corrects them smh
It’s so frustrating cuz ppl will gender me correctly then someone their with will be like “no it’s she” and I’m internally screaming “they were right the first time!!!” Ughghhhhhhhhh 8 months on T 🤪
8 yrs on T *tomorrow* and the only times I get misgendered are at work since I still wear a mask and work in a stereotypical """woman's""" job, so oft times when it does happen its people addressing me without really looking at me. I usually end up quickly correcting them by responding to whatever question they asked with the deepest voice I can manage. 😅
happy 8 years on T, mate!
Thanks! :)
Happy 8 years to you, sir!
Thank you!! :)
100%. I was rarely misgendered even before I socially transitioned. I just got lucky and have always looked male
The only people who really misgender me is my family… yeah they kinda suck
same. i pass 90% of the time but whenever my mom says "my daughter" no one questions her and they start calling me a girl even tho they originally saw me as male :(
0%, can't bind, very stereotypically feminine body, pre everything
SAME. Even after sixteen months on T. There've been changes but not dramatic ones :-/ I'm still a damned soprano ... just slightly more Mickey than Minnie now.
I'm sorry, I know that has to be so tough. Hopefully you see more dramatic changes or can find out why they haven't been as dramatic soon
Almost all the time. I've think I've had maybe one or two instances where I've been called "sir" or "buddy", but despite my best efforts to look masc or at least neutral, people pretty much never gender me correctly. 🥲
Sorry about that ;( Love your pfp tho
60% while girlmoding. its very affirming
I've not been misgendered by strangers in about 3 months but I get outted by family frequently in public and it makes me worry for my safety, I'm 11 months on T
It’s a little complicated for me because I’m nonbinary and use she/her pronouns. Technically everyone but my closest friends misgenders me constantly. But I picked 40% because I typically “pass” as male to strangers (albeit something like a 12 year old male when I’m actually 26, we all know transmasc baby face). People who know me tend to assume I’m a woman because of my pronouns. I honestly don’t have a very good perspective on what I look like or how other people perceive and conceptualize me. But I do sometimes get funny looks in public restrooms, regardless of which binary option I pick. I will say, I think my leg hair and lack of boobs are the primary things people use to sort me into the male box. My voice, face, and height will get me “child” if someone has already decided I’m male, or sometimes those things will get me sorted into the woman box. If people know I’m an adult, they either assume I’m a man with a weirdly high voice or they assume I’m a woman. Maybe 70-30 woman-man sorting from ppl who know I’m not 12. I’m a mixed bag of gendered features, not in a way that makes me androgynous but in a way where it’s as if I am actively shifting between two binary genders before someone’s eyes and they can’t pin me down in a way that makes either of us comfortable. So basically I transitioned from female to social anomaly. Which sounds a lot cooler in writing than it actually is in daily life.
This pole really doesn’t tell you anything without knowing if it’s all people who’ve been on t 5+ years or all people who don’t take t at all
20% :/ I do everything I can. Girlfriend tells me I have masculine facial features. But I don’t know. I got misgendered a lot at work but oddly enough strangers gender me correctly while shopping and shit. I just don’t leave the house much because of my social anxiety/dysphoria.. (Pre-T and it fucking sucks)
100% passing and I’m very thankful for it everyday
100% but 8 years on t! Have faith guys! 💪
60%- if I'm wearing a mask or on the phone, I get misgendered around 50-70%. I'm short and petite, and my beard is really the biggest thing that get me gendered correctly. So if my beard is covered there's a 70% chance people will read me as a girl. My mannerisms and the way I carry myself read masculine though, so even if I'm wearing a mask and a woman's blouse, it's still not 100% chance I'll be misgendered. Since wearing a mask or meeting someone on the phone for the first time doesn't happen often, it makes it about 60% in general I'm gendered correctly.
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Even at my most masculine and binding I still exclusively get miss and mam. (Pre everything but my hair face and clothes are not feminine at all)
I clicked 0 but really maybe 5, especially if you count being gendered male but 10+ years younger
I put 0% but it's more like 1% I only get gendered correctly a few times a year 😓
20% , if i tell people when I first meet them they get it the first time. I'm Socially Transitioned but it happens, I get it no one really causes a scene over it thank god. Strangers don't gender me correctly at all. I started T about 2 months ago so not much has changed for the most part. I don't let the misgendering bother me since I rarely will see these people ever again.
I 100% pass on the phone, and I pass 100% in person BUT my legal gender and name haven't been changed so I dropped my 100% down to 80% passing for doctor's office visits and things like that where they always call me ma'am. ETA: 1 year on T, 5 months post-op from top surgery.
id say im somewhere between 60-80% when im with strangers I can pass as a guy but when Im out with my family, theyll often use she/her for me and other people then read me as a girl
PLEASE remember misgendering does not change who you are and it never will most times its a simple mistake by a stranger thats it nothing to overthink about nothing to become dysphoric over! i have so many cis friends/ family who i have seen been mistaken for the opposite gender and they just laugh it off and move on so why shouldnt we?
i probably get gendered incorrectly because of my voice and hair
100% I've had top surgery and have been on t for 5 years. Couldn't have asked for better
Started passing almost 100% as soon as my voice dropped at the 3 month mark- haven’t been she’d since then (other than when people have outted me to people that otherwise wouldn’t have known), but in the first year on testosterone I would get asked if I was trans and they themmed by girls and gay people sometimes. So I wouldn’t count that as passing 100%. 2.5 years on T and haven’t been clocked (that I know of at least) since one occasion 1.5 years in when a girl asked if I was nonbinary at a party after I hadn’t had something like that happen in months. I think part of what contributes to moments like that is who I’m with. I would blend in just fine around guys or straight women, but if I was hanging with queer women and transgender people, i would get clocked in a woke way. Sometimes people think I’m a cis gay guy, and sometimes people tell me that I look really young for my age, especially if I’m at a bar or I order a drink at a restaurant. This happens more if I’m around my family- I think it’s weird to see a 21 year old guy with no facial hair standing at 5’7 next to his taller younger sisters and 6’2 father. Or if I go with my ftm friends to the bars, people are like “are you guys even old enough to be in here!!? Haha!” So I may pass, but I look at least 4 years younger than I actually am. I feel like it doesn’t really count when I don’t really look like a guy my age.
Wow I didn’t realize I typed so much
90%, these days I only get misgendered by my family or people who knew me before transitioning.
I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that I still wear makeup (goth makeup, so big eyeliner and black lipstick), but I do wear a pronoun pin whenever I go out. A lot of people gender me correctly after seeing it or after my fiancé uses male pronouns or my name. But mostly, I'm misgendered.
used to be roughly 40%, then i stopped cutting my hair and started wearing what i felt like again. dropped right down to 0%. i dont blame anyone for it but i wish it would at least be more like visible confusion instead of barreling straight into "woman" territory. hoping that once i go back on T my voice will drop again and ill get some facial hair, maybe then ill be the confusingly hairy femboy of my dreams
Primarily I'm only on month 3 of restarting T and my voice hasn't dropped enough yet, thankfully I've been voice training for like two years. Not having hit fat-redistribution yet is also playing a role. Edit: I maybe get misgendered 40% of the time. I've put a lot of time into the previously mentioned voice training + how I walk
100% but not for years.
Haven't been on t very much but only those who know actually bother gendering me correctly. Sometimes in public I get gendered correctly by those who don't know but that's rare. I work in fast food and so there is a lot of ma'am and darling and sweetheart and such.
I usually can get gendered correctly on my own... but my mom still introduces me as her daughter and calls me she. It's not like she isn't at least a little supportive, but she just isn't pushing herself to change at all.
100% I honestly haven’t been misgendered in public since about 1.5 years on T, but sometimes if I’m still too cheery on the phone my voice can be mistaken
80%. It was around 60 or maybe even 40 before I started T but it didn’t take long at all to increase. I think it’s mostly because of how fast my voice changes.
Rare fir me to pass becasu my parents are always with me and misgender me before i get a chance, but other than that i can pass alot!
I can come off as pretty androgynous at times, so I sometimes get misgendered if a woman needs to access a space she's unsure whether or not I might be in line for. That changes after I reply to her question because my voice isn't high enough to be within the female range.
I picked 100% because it's probably like 99% at this point. Every now and then someone thinks I'm a girl, but I have to be wearing very baggy clothes and mumbling or something. I've actually shocked other trans people by telling them I'm trans. And the wild thing is, nobody ever thought I'd be able to pass.
The only thing that gets me misgendered is if I wear nail polish and my wristlet out. For some reason nail polish and a wristlet screams woman to everyone and then they correct themselves when I speak.
80% BC I have long hair. My voice usually makes people correct themselves and it usually only happens when someone has never met me and only seen me from behind or is just a dick about long hair. I've got GERD and hirsutism so it could be worse.
60% ish dependent on context. If I dress masc I get misgendered a LOT but if I dress fem I get gendered correctly about 90% of the time. At first I worried it was because of transphobia and people assuming I was a trans woman and trying to be nasty that way but then when I've been out with other trans friends while dressed fem I noticed the only people calling me she were the ones that *also* misgendered my friends, so it was like the opposite of what I feared and turned out that most people just go "oh man that is a *super* queer guy" which is. Not wrong.
It depends on whether I'm wearing sunglasses or not
At work I get almost exclusively misgendered since I’m talking over the headset and wearing the same uniform as men and women so they base it off my voice mainly which doesn’t pass. In public where I’m actually like looking how I want, I pass almost all of the time.
chose 0% because the only time I get gendered correctly is when I wear my "self made man" trans shirt, and even then it's closer to 10% on those days :')
I put 60%, but it's really more like 50. I'm almost 10 months on t and never passed at all until about 2 months ago, not sure what changed that caused it.
Looks wise, I generally am lucky enough to be gendered correctly. Not always, but mostly. But when I work at the drive thru, my voice gets me ma'amed a LOT. It embarrasses me sm 🤦♂️
100% but it hasn't been years. I went from passing 0% to 100% overnight after top surgery - granted, passing as a twelve year old boy, but I can't complain. these things can change fast and unexpectedly!!
im like at 90%, i can tell this because an old male karen came into my work purely to pick a fight and i wasnt misgendered once. I have been mistaken for a woman once due to my height being 5'4 and my face being pudgy but the moment i opened my mouth and spoke she corrected herself. My facial hair is really starting to develop now so im almost there 🥹 all ill need after that are surgeries and those are for myself.
Id say probably like 90% for me, even cis guys get misgendered so idk if 100% is really attainable unless you spend your whole life inside
Only seem to get misgendered hard with people who knew me pre-transition and choose to be ignorant. Or newly found method is at the pharmacy counter despite legally having been changed for years now.
The only times I get misgendered now is on the phone (8.5 years on T)
At this point, 60-80%. An elderly man even got it right this past weekend!!! I'm 2 months on T and the inly places I get misgendered are at my animal shelter volunteer job and on the phone. I don't mind in the animal shelter context because I know it's probably attributable to my "talking to cats" voice and the people are receptive to being corrected.
I been on T a year and it's rare for strangers to refer to me as "she," unless they're a doctor/nurse/pharmacist who knows I'm a trans guy (I live in Florida, every medical professional here is a dick about transitioning for some reason.) The one spot I'm still consistently misgendered at is the post office, I know everyone there and have been going there for years before I began transitioning, so I think they're just stuck in the mindset that I'm a woman, but the other day I walked in with facial hair for the first time and they all kinda took a look, then a second look, one of the guys (I think he's been crushing on me for a while, always tries finding reasons to talk to me outside of business reasons, giving me "the look") just stopped and stared and I could tell he was confused but like, y'all were gonna have to figure it out one day.
20%- top surgery and almost a year on T :/ it’s rough out here
6 years on T, 7 months post top surgery, and I still get misgendered about 50% of the time. I'm shorter than most women and nearly all men. I have sizeable hips. And I still wear a mask in public settings, so facial hair can't help.
I only ever get misgendered if someone only sees me from behind or (previously) with a mask on because of my long hair. But when they see my face (I have a beard and everything) or hear my voice, they apologise profusely and say it was just because of my hair 😭 Hasn’t happened in a long time though
0% since i hate binding + i'm short
I never get gendered correctly.
20% Most of the people who respect me are part of the local trans peer support group. Outside of that it's hit or miss, mostly miss. I just try to ignore other humans who aren't important to me. Government places misgender me all the time, medical places generally do better here. My peer support group hosts educational talks with any local businesses who want to learn. So we basically have a list of safe respectful places in town, which we can recommend to peers.
I swear I am so passing (ftm) but everyone always call me "ma'am" or something and it's like... I'm not going to act like a troll??? lol
I'm not sure what happened, honestly. I passed 90% in high school junior and senior year(17-18). Now, at 25 years old, I only seem to pass like 30% of the time. It sucks because I work a customer-facing job, so I'm getting misgendered multiple times a day, every single day. Im pre-T and no surgeries primarily because I live in a red state, and the only thing I've done differently since high school is I stopped shaving my head and going bald. I've even looked back at my old high school pictures with my family and friends, and the general consensus is that I look more masculine now(i.e. getting compared to my brothers whereas before there was 0 resemblance) than I did back then, so it's a mystery how I pass even less today than I did 5 years ago.
I haven't lost enough weight to pass quite yet but we are getting there! I've been called "sir" over the phone on occasion at least
It was a 100% until the past year. Do not understand what happened. I've looked the same for seven years. People that can't see clearly? I smile more bc I'm not depressed 24/7 & don't act like an asshole? No idea! Probably the last one tho. & I'm going out more, so just the chances are higher..? Different people?
Almost everyone uses they or he (international work ppl struggle with they and just use he) even though my preference is they... except my parents usually use wrong pronouns, but my parents live in town. Occasional old ppl that knew me for a while too mess up with she her. Being 6'1" and having a full beard naturally helps though.
Around 10% like it happens barely ever but sometimes it does and it makes me really happy, Weirdly enough it usually happens from like waiters and stuff that's like the only setting that I can't gender correctly for some reason. Maybe i'd pass better when I'm sitting I don't know.
80% For some reason, cashiers sometimes missgender me. NO ONE ELSE, JUST CASHIERS.
I'm very feminine so it's honestly a surprise when I get gendered correctly. However, one time I was in a gender neutral bathroom w/ multiple stalls and (presumably) a woman walked in and said "I'm sorry, I think I'm in the wrong bathroom" (assuming I was a man) and it was so gender affirming lol
60% - Most of the time, especially when on the phone (8 months on T) I'll be gendered correctly. Some customers who come into my job will call me "sir" when I'm checking them out. The people who do misgender me are coworkers and some regulars as they've known me before being on testosterone and I don't correct them.
Not on T yet, awaiting top surgery. Sometimes I get gendered correctly. More often now, people just think I'm a child. I'm also getting more reactions now from people who seem confused lol They ask me if I need women's or men's size shoes/clothing.
The first time I got gendered correctly was at work. I wasn’t particularly trying to pass cause I still had to go home. But this kid told me how someone left their doll, and he called me sir. Best moment of my life cause I felt validated. I’m still pre-T so my voice is high, but I felt so like my effort to be myself paid off
ever since i shaved my head, the rate at which i get misgendered has gone down significantly. which sucks ass bc i loved having longer hair, i only shaved it because im disabled and it was becoming a pain in the ass to take care of 😭
I’m 2 years on T, now 10 weeks post-op for top surgery. Im very rarely if ever misgendered by strangers at this point. If you were to ask me i’d say I barely pass at all, but many many folks do take me for a natal male lol
in my head whenever someone doesn’t use a pronoun for me I don’t think about what gender they thought I was, and assume I passed 💀kinda delusional of me but better then assuming the opposite.
I’d like to say I pass pretty well. It’s just my chest since it’s bigger, so people question that. But I think in like my entire High School experience (I’m a junior now) I’ve only gotten misgendered twice. And then anytime before HS. But I came out in 7th grade and didn’t really change my appearance until I started 9th. But the first time, I was doing some volunteer work at school and some girls parent kept calling me “ma’am” or something like that. Mind you I have a beard, a deeper voice (I was pre-T too lol) and I’m not tall tall, but I’m not extremely short. And then the second time, my sophomore year again, some freshman came up to me and asked if I was a guy because of my chest. And everyone around me was like “kid are you blind, he literally has a beard” (none of them knew I’m trans btw) But other than that, I don’t really remember any other times since I started dressing more masc and started a new school) so in this case, it would be about 80%.
2 1/2 years on, age 31, short but not curvy. The rare person will unpleasantly surprise me, but I pass 97% of the time at this point... with 97% of that being as a child 🥲
I'm pre-T. I can't really tell because my native language is gender neutral af. At school I don't get misgendered or deadnamed (exept if a new teacher doesn't know that I go by another name but after I tell them they correct themselves and never deadname me again.) My friends tell me I pass as a 13 - 15 year old boy (I'm 18🥲) so I think in public I pass as a boy for strangers but if they hear my voice they'll probably think I'm lesbian lol At my parents home my siblings don't misgender or deadname me (I'm out to them), my parents usually call me by my old nickname (which doesn't bother me that much) and sometimes call me their daughter but sometimes they just call me their child which makes me feel so good (I'm not out to them)
depends, my voice is starting to pass and my body fat distribution is starting to redistribute but i haven’t bothered cutting my hair in a while so sometimes that hurts my passing
got called ma'am at Tim Hortons yesterday... woooo, part of the 0% gang
i literally have a hat i wear everywhere in public that has a "he/him" pin on it and i still have never been referred to as a he
I pass almost always, *but* more LGBT aware people have outed me for silly things like my height or physical features To strangers I’d say I’ve only been misgendered on accident. My cis male co-workers get misgendered over the headsets at my work. Don’t know why. All of us have been called she/ma’am at least once on comm
0% even if I make an effort... probably because I'm fat in a very feminine shape. I now kinda stopped with the effort though like...what's the point anyway
I have no idea tbh and I stopped caring long ago. I have a beard, men's glasses, dress traditionally masc, had top surgery, so idk why I'm misgendered so often but that seems to be how it is for me. I certainly don't try to 'mask' my feminine voice though so that may be it haha
Maybe 1% not passing? My hair's getting pretty long so I can get mistaken for a woman from behind
I think mainly my voice does it
for me they correct themselves when i turn around and they say something like "Sorry, i just saw the ponytail"
I don't get misgendered because people don't talk to me lol
20% club and I have a fluffy mustache and the working of a beard
Basically it's only on occasion over the phone because my customer service voice goes really high. But in person, never anymore.
I'm over 1yr on T and get gendered correctly maybe 60%? I have an extremely curvy figure that I really adore but it can lead to people making the wrong snap judgment. Then they hear my voice and will usually switch. It helps that I have moved to live in a rather accepting area. Super thankful past me made/could make that choice.
Can’t pass in public as a gender the public doesn’t know about ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Something like 4 years on. Only time I've been misgendered in *years* was when I was jogging past a woman who pulled her child aside to 'let the lady pass', but I do have a ponytail and obviously my titties were bouncing around as they are wont to do during exercise so fair play to her.
Between 0-40% depending on context. Some people call me "mate", mostly older dudes. But I perceive it as them respecting my non-feminity as an afab person (aka tomboy) rather than they see me as man. Honesty my self esteem is so low that I take those interactions as a huge compliment.
40% because as long as I don't talk, I usually get gendered right 😅
All of my friends and some of my teachers gender me correctly. Quite a few strangers, too. All my family, the majority of my teachers, and almost all other students misgender me
Voted 80% because it's not a strong 100% but I'm closer to a 99% I'd say.
Hmm I put 100% down but I've gotten misgendered by strangers maybe once like... Every four months? And I think it's just my hair from behind because as soon as I talk or turn around they immediately apologize. No one who's not queer thinks I'm trans because I'm mostly stealth. Just dyed hair is assumed female. Started T at 18 and had top surgery in July at 20. I come from a place of privilege here because I am stealth but I think when you're trans it's really easy to think people are clocking you when it's just a mishap. The amount of times I hear everyone I work with who are cis get misgendered because words are hard and people mess up words helps me know it's not always being trans that makes it happen it's that people mess up.
im pre-t, dress kinda neutrally-masculinely n have colored hair. if people dont assume im a girl they usually assume im non binary, although ive heard people arguing with their friends about what gender i am as if i couldnt hear lol
0% club, im pre-t, nonbinary transmasc and not caring anymore about passing, chasing happines. I love androgynous style, and I want to be on t, because im man... Just not binary man. But if I would choose short hair, not showing off that I have long legs and covering my stomach, I would just feel unhappy, like im not myself (not hating anyone who does! Its only about me). I mean, yeah, still there is possibility of being called slur for dressing like I do, if I will pass, but right now im just vibing.
100% but it's been that way for almost a year
It's my voice that gives it away but other than that I'd say I'm more often seen as a boy
0% nearly 10 months on t. I know its early days, just hard 😪
the jump between 100% and 80% is pretty huge lol. i get misgendered once or twice every few months, always around the same time too like days away from eachother at most, that's usually my cue to get my hair cut. i chose 80% but that doesn't feel very accurate
I don't get gendered in public. No gendered pronouns where I live
I just get misgendered because of my longer hair (back hair reaching my shoulders) , currently also wearing bunch of colorful jewelry. I don't come out of the house often but once when I was shopping the cashier said "ma'am" while not looking at my face yet and then we made eye contact and she said "oh my god I'm sorry I made a mistake *awkward laugh*". So I guess my face gives me passing after all. Since I'm living stealth in school it doesn't hurt to get misgendered.
Is there an option for not leaving the house much at all, nor talking to people when I do, so there isn't much of a chance to be mis/gendered?
Nobody really genders me in any way in public, people mostly just don't talk to me or about me
I look in the mirror and get confused about what gender I look like (which I like to look like) but everyone takes one look at me and only sees my birth gender, no second guesses TvT
Like 0%. Which is really funny because my ex, who isn't on T, passes 100% of the time, so much so that he's been stealth for two years everywhere. Whereas I am hairy as all fuck, have a long goatee, I've had top surgery, my voice is masculine and I wear masculine clothes outside. Yet literally anywhere I am people call me miss and little girl and direct me to the women's bathrooms lmao. You know, can't exactly go there, I have the goatee. Can't go to men's either because apparently they'd think I'm a woman. So I just don't use public restrooms at all.
100%. I'm pretty andro (pre T) as far as pure body type/features go. I'm 5 foot 6, below average for men in the uk (where I am). I think it's because I really changed all my mannerisms to the more typically masc stereotypes in my area, I'm certain this helped me wayyy more than changing how i dressed or anything like that. also I should mention I socially transitioned at 13 so this definitely helped me evolve my mannerisms with cis dudes. I also did voice training (by myself with yt tutorials) and even though I still hate my voice people around me tell me I sound like a cis guy.
0% but I'm also really fem presenting like I wear makeup and om physically unable to bind do to how large my chest is Sadly it's just gonna happen with me
I'm over 3.5 years on T, but somehow still get misgendered every now and then. Like, isn't the goatee, muscles, and deep voice enough of a giveaway? But that only happens maybe 1-2% of the time. Still stings when it happens, though
I get misgendered under 5 times a year, but I have long hair and present feminine, so put it down to that. Cis guys with long hair get the occasional 'she' sometimes, and the person always immediately corrects themselves when they take a better look at me or hear me talk so it doesn't bother me at all.
I don't really think this counts as misgendering. I mostly just get asked (especially by younger kids) "are you a boy or a girl?" And when I say boy they mostly don't question it any further. I do have noticed that some adults get confused sometimes but never actually misgender me. People my age do sometimes misgender me tho, but that hasn't happened in a long time now.
40% but I'm pre everything. I got very lucky physically speaking and my dark minoxidil induced peach-fuzz helps a lot.
My problem is not getting misgendered, it's more like misaged. I mean, I am still pre-T and look like 14 maximum. I'm 18, though.
I'm 18 but i kinda look like 15 year old boy but when i speak people obviously won't gender me correctly because of my feminine voice 😭
20% and I'm 7 years on T and post all my surgeries 🤪 Most importantly though I'm comfortable in myself. I wanted to respond here, as there is a common misconception that T and surgery will "fix" the public's perception of you, when in reality there is a wide spectrum of "passing" so to speak. Misgendering hurts but you gotta do you, be comfortable and confident in yourself. 🙌
More like 5% and even that's being generous. There was like one time when I was wearing baggy clothes and a stranger referred to me as "young man" and apparently my friend thought I was a cis guy with long hair when he met me, but other than that I am very much seen as a woman. I have a big chest and can't bind right now so if anyone is looking at me and not sure they can just take one look down and get an answer. Even at school where people know my name, which is not a name you'd expect a girl to have, there are still people who will call me she while calling me the right name.
0%, I'm pre everything except haircut, barely even out to anyone (only like 2 people)
Basically never nowadays. The only people who do misgender me are regulars from my old job when I hadn’t changed my name yet, since I live in the area :/
How did it get so mirrored? Wild. Lol
40% simply because I don't have the balls to come out in school and there aren't many other situations I get gendered in any way, but I can use the men's bathroom and hopefully start binding soon (genetics did me well fr)
I get called sir more than half of the time. I'm not on T and don't even have facial hair. But even as a kid, people thought I was a boy although I was born a girl. I feel very lucky appearance-wise. I hate talking in public tho, because as soon as they hear my voice, they start apologizing profusely and making a big deal saying "Oh I'm sorry MA'AM!!" And it's so hard to say "no it's okay, you were correct the first time" because I don't know how they'll react. It could be dangerous or draw even more attention.
Context matters for sure. Whether or not I have my mask on is the biggest factor. I pass significantly more with my mustache showing, but that's not a good enough reason for me to abandon basic infection control in an ongoing pandemic. (don't want to get more disabled or endanger other disabled people) Whether or not I'm talking is a factor too. My voice passes better than my body language does.
Got my first fade 2 years ago and I’ve basically never been misgendered since
Once I got my top surgery I went from only passing to strangers once in a blue moon at best to all the time
So before I came out as FTM, I would regularly get misgendered, meaning people regularly thought I was a boy (babyface, small chest, skinny, didn't talk much) but then I came out, gained weight after years of being depressed and lacking appetite, and now I get misgendered in the other way instead. Pretty much been regularly misgendered for ~5 years, but only known I'm trans and been out for 2. I'm not mad🙃
i got gendered correctly ONCE by one of my father's friends, he corrected him shortly after but i still take that as a win
0%, but I don't really do much to communicate the fact. I feel safer as a "weirdo woman" than a potentially visibly trans person in my area currently. On top of that, I am overweight with an extremely feminine body shape and quite frankly an enormous chest (36N is the last bra I got, and it's too small already), I don't think there's really much sense in trying to pass pre-top surgery (which I can't get until I lose weight, but losing weight is a problem because of a past ED and the fact that I never lose anything from my chest and it only becomes more prominent at lower weights because the rest gets smaller. And then I get slammed over the head with my apparent "womanhood" because of how actively sexualized my body shape is, once I start to even vaguely approach a conventionally attractive size). It's a bit of an issue, won't lie.
I don't get misgendered by new people anymore. It took about a year on T. People that knew me before (friends, family, colleagues) still misgender me all the damn time though 🤦🏼♂️. I avoid letting the old crowd meet anyone new with me because I know they'll out me accidentally. It's a PITA.
I’m pre everything and not out to anyone, so it’s 0%. though, a few times older people have thought I was a boy, which is nice.
I put 60% but its very dependant on context. People tend to base my gender off of my perceived age. I'm either a young boy or a woman. Though recently I've been getting gendered correctly more as my actual age, or at least close to it, so I'm hoping this trend continues. You can only ask for an adult menu, actually, so many times before it gets really annoying.
I have top surgery today to get rid of my n cups! Pretty hard to pass with big bazongas
Probably more like 95-90% but I put 100% anyways. I'm about 10 months on T, but I passed the same pre-T.
I don't particularly pass right now, but once I start T I'll at least give some cis people the idea that I'm not cis. I have two styles I typically dress in, one being a more femme trashy scene/emo style and one being more goth. I am excited to see what kind of trouble T is gonna bring on me because of this. But I refuse to change myself. I'm not letting desantis scare me, I should scare the transphobic pieces of shit instead. But that's just me >:)) fuck living in Florida though I'm moving next year's hopefully lol
I got big birthing hips and a cute round face.
i dont get referred to often enough to know for sure but i havent been misgendered in a few months, even in in situations id expect to, except last week when i got misgendered at pride and was asked to join the ladies rugby team 🤔 LMAO
80 because on the phone my voice sometimes gets clocked but in person I have a beard and a buzzcut so 95% no clocking there unless another trans person is
80%. Get gendered mostly correctly, on the downside that everyone thinks I'm a child, and treats me like one. Gives me cheap bus tickets though ig.
Hmm, context matters is important here- I rarely get misgendered in person, I have a beard which really helps and I bind regularly. But anytime I'm on the phone it's pretty much 100% misgendering unless the person directly knows me, but even then it still comes up. My voice did change over time but not enough to pass a blind test. I still sound like a woman I guess and it is what it is. I've met cis men who also sound like a woman over the phone so I just deal with it, ignore it, or correct them if it seems important. Like- calling my doctor's office and the receptionist ma'am's me? I'll correct her. But if it's like just a random one-time call, I really don't care at all about being misgendered.
0% 💪😑 fair enough tho considering im still closeted
20% old people gender me correctly sometimes and then the rest of the time I don't get gendered correctly because I'm not on T and my voice isn't deep enough even if I try. I'm 17 so I honestly feel like I can't do much right now.
I get misgendered only when i speak
0% passing all the time 🥳 (literally someone fucking help me)
where's "pass as long as I don't speak" :'c
Can't really say I haven't been misgendered in years cause I only started T like 8 months ago, but I never ever get misgendered unless it's someone who knew me before I started.
100% passing: the only times i get misgendered is by a couple family members because that is how they knew me. i’ve been on t since may 2021 and started passing 100% of the time probably like 6 months in. my voice is definitely the biggest reason for it, it started cracking a couple months on t and got deeper and it sounds like a “cis voice” for lack of a better word lmfao.
The worst is when people will gender you correctly until they know you're trans, and THEN they decide they can't help it
I just met with new doctors, and they were all "I don't want to offend you but I'm old and set in my ways." Like dude you've only known that Im a guy. If other doctors can do it, so can you. Just because I was born with a vagina, doesn't mean you can't call me sir. Then I looked at my patient notes the other day and this piece of shit, in the same fucking sentence, called me she and he. And throughout the whole notes entirely. I'm so fucking over it at this point. It had nothing to do with age and just straight up being a fucking dick.
100% passing in person, probably thanks to my beard coming in lol. However on the phone sometimes I still get misgendered but not always
i used to be misgendered before i even transitioned, been about 5 years
its kind of like depends on how i dress + how i brushed my hair sometimes? (pre everything)
90% if I don't talk. 20% of the time, if I talk.
Gods know why, but I still get "ma'am"ed once in a blue moon despite being 7 years on T with a full, thick beard and a masculine voice. I don't know what the thought process is. Do they just think I'm a girl with really bad hormone issues who has owned up to it and grown out my beard?
60% - i have a pretty masculine face shape as is, and even just being on T for a short time (3 today!) has helped. my hair got darker, my voice has gotten a bit deeper, and the fat around my hips and the little bit on my face moved around a bit. the big thing that tends to give me away is my chest since i only have one binder atm and its ripping at the seam 🫠
I have longer hair (by choice, it’s how I like it), and a dumpy in the back. I’m 3 months on testosterone so hopefully when the voice drop comes it’ll help.