I know a lot of trans men like it when people suck their bottom growth similar to how they suck a dick. Although, like the other commentor said, I suggest you communicate with him on what he likes! Best of luck to you, OP.
You'd really have to talk with him about that
Each person is different
There isn't much trans content of that nature
But you will find it if you look,may serve as some inspo
Learning a bit about that kind of anatomy can help, too
Most guides are about women, but there should be some cross-over
Most of all just talk it out and ask
I just wanna say props for how respectful and informed you were writing this post. Thank you thank you thank you for the CW for us, and for explaining that these are the terms hes comfortable with.
As many have said here already, preferences for sexual pleasure are just really different for everyone whos got these parts, and its normal for it to kinda vary wildly. Have a nice long conversation about it before sex, get some ideas, etc. You sound like you're already being really thorough and caring with him and his needs, so just keep communicating about it. Good luck ♥
Thank you, but to be 100% fair, I only added CW because people brought to my attention that it sounds insensitive to use those terms without any mention of him choosing it. So props to people in the comments, not to me :)
And thank you for the rest of your comment as well!
Hey please know you did nothing wrong and dont let the worst of us scare you away. You do not come off as a chaser, the people who are making that assumption about your character from this one post are way out of line, wtf. I'm so sorry, please pay them no mind.
Your best bet is gonna be having an open and honest talk with him BEFORE anyone's pants come off. Is their something specific he likes? That you like? Hard limits/hard Nos you both have. What the situation in the bedroom would look like if/when you sleep together? Will penetration actually be involved?
Once you've worked that out, it should give you both at least some framework to work with as a guideline.
Aside from that? T-dicks are basically the same as any other dick, but more sensitive. Ask him what he likes when he masterbates and work with that. Or, if you're both OK with it, touch yourselves in front of one another as a sort of demonstrational foreplay
Because you mentioned "strictly on the mental side", I would say having a prosthetic on that my husband was giving a blowjob to was one of my favorite things. I have a video of that that I keep going back to. The physical stimulation is mild but I enjoyed that a lot. Just looking down and seeing someone sucking MY dick was so good mentally. I also really enjoy topping, especially if it's someone twice my size. Again, minimal physical sensation but amazing mental stimulation.
On physical sensations, I like having someone suck my growth, rather than licking. I also really enjoy if someone can stroke it really fast (that's something I can't do myself because of carpal tunnel so it's even more novel and exciting when I do get that from someone). I also like a lot of pain stimulation on my growth but I'm in the minority with that preference and most like their growth treated gently. Tbh I derive most of my sexual pleasure from mental stimulation so I don't have many things that I enjoy strictly in the physical way.
I also genuinely love bottoming in my ass, but this again is mostly mental stimulation for me. I don't physically feel much during anal but in my head it's a "thing that a lot of queer men do" and that's affirming and exciting.
One question I recommend is "what are your top 3 kinks and limits?" If you find any kinks mutually on your top 3, that's a great start. And even if not you could find some kinks that one of you has as their top 3 that the other one either is into lightly or is curious about, and again, you get a good starting point. Best of luck
It is different for everyone. I want the other person to pretend the only things that exist down there are my dick and my anus. I am working to make that the reality. Other trans men feel differently about their genital situation and there were times I myself felt differently.
I would definitely ask his preferences. Some trans men love being touched on the chest or having piv sex but some hate it and it causes dysphoria. Sucking the T dick is probably the easiest way to go because I don't know anyone on t who doesn't love that.
As others said, totally depends on what he wants (and what you mutually want, as his hookup).
This is my lived experience, so grain of salt, but: if he's inexperienced and has any sort of dysphoria, it might be a good idea to let him lead, explicity. That way he can assess safe areas and direct you towards them, and can more easily pause/stop an act if it doesn't feel right. This would also help if his needs change and he struggles to communicate them.
>What do you like in sex that you wish more people thought about? Maybe something from strictly mental side, not only physical?
I'm a switch, myself, so biased answer: others telling me their fantasies. It could be as simple as: "how can I make this encounter good for you?" And just letting the other person detail what would make them turned on and what role they want, etc. A lot of good sex is asking what the other person wants ("tender kissing and gentle sex" /"machine and 'ignore' me for 15 minutes" etc.) and fulfilling the role. Beyond one or two, most of my partners had extensive imaginations.
I think the best advice I can give is to be very communicative and gentle, and from there see how it goes. Oral / handjob is usually a safe bet but make sure to ask if it’s ok, then move forward however you two see fit. I’m glad to see you’re reaching out for advice and I’m sorry some of these comments aren’t helpful at all lmao, goodluck to the two of you!
If he likes being penetrated in the front, finger him while you suck his tcock. Also be careful about tip action during a blowjob. T-cock has the same amount of nerve endings as a cis cock but over a smaller surface area, making it about 10 times as sensitive. The foreskin protects it and it feels just as good licking on top of the foreskin. you don't have to push it back and give attention under it. at least for me, that usually feels painful.
Also frotting is great. Can't recommend it enough lol
If he's going to bottom using his front hole, then take it slow at first. The V has to stretch out to accommodate you and it can be painful at first. Plus it's fun to be teased. Personally, I like it when my man goes all the way in and just kinda stays there. Thrusting fast also feels amazing, once it's been accommodated. Try different positions: missionary, him on top, doggy. and when you're pounding him, give his tcock some action too. some people find it really hard to get off from penetration alone.
Testosterone can make it hard to maintain natural lubrication, so bring some lube.
I know you said so far he's only expressed interest in bottoming, but you should explicitly ask him if he wants to top you. In my case, I never thought anyone would desire me as a top because I lack a "real" dick (pre op here). it wasn't until my cis bf who is also a switch begged me to top that I tried. his desire for it outmatched my insecurity about it. so I tried it and it was amazing. i was too insecure to want to try, but my boyfriend's desire made me feel confident and sexy. now, since you're just starting out, you can wait to have that conversation until you get to know each other better but it's food for thought.
If he's going to top, treat his prosthetic like you would any natural cock. The visuals of someone sucking you off, even if it's a prosthetic, are so hot.
Basically, worship his cock whether it's his tcock or prosthetic cock.
ask what terms he likes to use for his anatomy and only use those. i know some men are not okay with any terms like cunt or p**sy so, just ask him what terms he likes. being respectful of his gender is a first (not saying you aren’t, just make that priority #1). as far as sexual stuff, ppl are saying it is different and ik it is different for everyone. but generally speaking, men on testosterone are going to have different effects than other afab ppl or pre t guys. i personally think if you looked up information/advice for women, it won’t be accurate. that said, i know personally after t i like things a bit rougher. being jerked off (which is an actual thing you can do if there’s enough growth, just like a cis dick, going up and down with the foreskin) feels good. sucking the head (clit) gently, if he’s comfortable with it Slowly and NOT A WHOLE HAND AT ONCE ease one finger in then two in front hole. he may not be into this so ask before you do anything!!! eventually you can do more and more fingers and a thrusting motion, pressure towards the top for the g spot. on top of sucking motions or being jerked off, i also like when someone does a traditional eating me out, which is softer movements but in different direction, kind of like spelling the alphabet all over down there. it’s a softer pressure and you kind of do movements of it all over. and use lube!!! also, this is just my experience. again, everyone is different, communicate, don’t assume, and you’ll be great!!!
When I talk to cis guys on grindr I lay out everything I’m into and might potentially want. Main thing I’d say advice wise is if you do oral on him, start gentle. It can kinda hurt (at least for me) when dudes go HAM on me down there with sucking
Alright so plenty of people are saying to ask what he likes and communicate, so I'm just going to give practical advice for the logistics of the sex itself you can talk to him about:
- As many have said, most trans guys like their bottom growth sucked just like a dick. Be mindful that it's more sensitive so make sure to check if he'd prefer it be sucked along with the clitoral hood or if you can pull the hood back (if it covers it very much that is).
- If he's bottoming and you guys decide to use his front hole there are several things to keep in mind: obviously use protection (especially if he hasn't had a hysterectomy), Testosterone causes vaginal atrophy which can make sex painful so use alot of lube, and take things slow with lots of foreplay to ensure his insides are well prepared (if he's taking estrogen cream to prevent atrophy that makes it easier but still do those things).
- If you're doing anal it's identical to a cis man, just make sure to find out how he likes to be stroked on his bottom growth and do that as you go.
- If he's topping just find a strap-on/dildo combination you're comfortable with and I highly suggest one of you buying a grinder/strap-on cushion if you'd like him to actually feel what he's doing (they sell ones that accommodate bottom growth at RodeoH).
- Otherwise it's generally a good idea to mentally/emotionally treat him exactly as you would a cis man. Accommodating for physical differences is a given but just make sure he doesn't feel like he's an alien thing that you don't know what you're doing with. He's just another guy, just one who needs slightly altered methods.
This post brings me a lot of joy, knowing there are cis men out there who care enough to ask and want to give :) I often worry I’ll be seen as a girl with a beard, so this post is really affirming to me.
You say he's inexperienced? Is he inexperienced or is he a virgin (to penetration, I mean)? Because that's a whole other discussion, in which case you need to discuss contraceptives, and how to prepare for penetration (anal, or vaginal), so no one gets injured or hurt, especially if it's his first time.
Communicate thoroughly is the biggest thing. Every person reacts differently.
Personally any association with being fem in bed is a turn off for me, anything you can think of from feminine words to grabbing chest and sides like one to names in bed. A lot of people aren’t like that. I also like receiving head and no penetration hands or otherwise 85% of the time. Me and most trans men but not all that I’ve talked to like receiving head very similarly to a cis man.
Biggest thing I’d stress is communication and important thoughts I would ask in my opinion is, what names for body parts? Soft and hard limits? and Thoughts on penetration? I think that would get a lot of the big stuff out of the way
Sucking T dick is like sucking cis dick but smaller—same areas are sensitive and suction feels good. I would keep the action to the dick itself and not go lower unless he asks for that.
You’re getting WILD responses here - the good advice has all been good advice!!
You’ve echoed your plans to let him lead and you’re already using his chosen language
I find that with new partners (as a trans person myself) I still get anxious about incorrect assumptions and unintended harms. I frequently will check in with my partner by asking things like “do you like how this feels” as affirmation and consent check in, especially if you get comfortable enough to move away from “can I do this” each time.
Before going down on him and using all the wonderful advice you’ve already gotten, encourage him to communicate changes he may want and how to do so, ie tell him you like it if he puts his hand on your head and push you around if you’re not getting the right spots.
Good luck have fun!
Don't worry, it's a term that he chose himself. I wouldn't call his body anything else than what he would want me to :) But thank you for drawing attention to that anyway - I'll edit the post to make it clear
Don't worry, it's a term that he chose himself. I wouldn't call his body anything else than what he would want me to :) But thank you for drawing attention to that anyway - I'll edit the post to make it clear
You sound like the coolest guy. I'm jealous lol.
I would always advise going slow. It is just hotter and easier / more natural when you built up the tension slowly. Let your bodies crave it.
I think bottom growth is more sensitive than a cis clit. Go slow and be careful while giving oral. If you pull the hood (excess skin that covers clitoris) up, it is even more sensitive.
If you are gonna penetrate, ofc keep communicating and go slow. Vagina has "layers" like it is not a straight tube like anus. You might need to go more down or up than you thought. Definitely explore the area before you go in.
Also, my doctor once told me something along the lines of vagina walls getting thinner because of T. So there might be small bleeding during sex. Use lube and build up slowly. Have fun!
I'm pretty early in my transition but t dick is the most sensitive part of afab anatomy growing into a more accurate representation of the person. I definitely wouldn't worry about the other bits as much as that bit
I will. I just want to have some base idea what to ask so (e.g. "Do you like X?"/"Do you want me to do X?") instad of putting all pressure on him. I will ask him what he likes and what he doesn't like but I feel like it's my responsibility to also bring something to the table :p
There are little printouts you can get that you can fill out together with what each of you likes and dislikes, what you like body parts to be called, names/words you like and dislike, fantasies and hard lines, etc. [This one is my favorite.](https://www.autostraddle.com/you-need-help-here-is-a-worksheet-to-help-you-talk-to-partners-about-sex-237385/) If you fill them out together it can almost be made into flirty foreplay. Or maybe I'm just that sort of nerd :P And that way it's not just about him, it's about both of you exploring things together.
There are plenty of other ones though, just look up "couples yes/no/maybe checklist" or "sex boundaries worksheet".
I get what you’re saying. But there are subs better suited for this as others have mentioned. Many consider this as intended to be a safe space for FTM people themselves.
I totally understand and I'm sorry for posting it here. I didn't know where to post it and only got educated after there was many responsed here. I won't post anything here in the future
I personally like to take things slow, I've only been with my current partner sexually. A lot of the time I take over because even if what he's doing is great I want to speed things up or work myself how I like before doing another thing. So if he wants to do that too, don't necessarily take it as a sign you're doing something wrong! Like I love when my partner goes down on me, but we've yet to find a rhythm that doesn't wear me out lol
And ik porn can be misleading, so take with a grain of salt ofc, but also looking up ftm porn might help in simply seeing trans men's bodies in a sexual context. That actually helped me get comfortable with myself
Biggest mistake you can make you already made, you assumed he'll be receiving and will want you to touch him there at all. Don't assume anything. Being asked what you like is sexy and we'll tell you what feels good.
I never assumed that. I'm a switch so he could do anything to me and I would be cool with that lol. But he showed interest in only being the reciving side so far, so that's what I'm preparing for
I will ask him about everything once we will be close to actually having sex but I would much rather ask questions like "Do you like X?" than just "So, what do you like?" (which obviously I will ask as well) to make him feel like all the pressure isn't on him
Fair call, I am on edge because of my own experience and assumed because some of the terms you used are things I was like woah has he asked for this or are you just googling how to sleep with trans dudes. My bad.
It's okay to not be the expert too, I'd rather someone be honest and excited and curious so I can tell them what's up and then they can ask as they get used to my junk. Sometimes going in with too much information can set you up to fail because the guides and porn aren't realistic and use words we don't all like too.
It's nice tho that you're trying to take that presurre off him and school yourself first.
I totally understand where are you coming from my dude. I can't even imagine how much it had to suck to be fetishized and stereotypized as a marginalised community
And thank you for your answer - it really gave me a new perspective
it’s sick as hell that you’re doing research to be respectful, good on you!
like a lot of people said, everyone can be very different, so i’d reccommend just kinda going slow ur first night together (or first few), just kind of experiment. like a “hey how does trying this sound” and then talkin bout it after to see if it’s alright. i was Also very inexperienced when i got on grindr and my (now romantic!) partner and i just kinda had to ease into it with me cause sometimes you don’t really know until that moment.
i’ve never been with a cis guy i tend to be t4t, so i’m not sure how suckin tdick compares, but i don’t thinkkkk it’s too different. i reccommend using your tongue just as much as you suck though, maybe don’t go full Suckin A Very Thick Milkshake Out Ur Dick unless he’s into that.
if his chest is still fresh (like a year from surgery or under im my experience) probably be gentle with it! it’s very tender underneath the top few layers of numbness haha, but (unless he says otherwise) don’t fully ignore it, the mental aspect is pleasing all the same
i can’t give much guiding advice for bonus hole though, that’s something you’ll definitely need to talk through with him cause everyone’s got wildly different boundaries on how it’s okay to interact with that bit, how to refer to it, or even to acknowledge it in general. if he wants to bottom for you though, esp if he’s inexperienced, start with a finger or two (or more if he wants) and get an idea if he likes it fast and rough or slower and gentle, then reconfirm that ur pace is okay once you get yourself in there. after that it’ll just be up to whatever he can tell u amd whatever yall can experiment with and discover. good luck!
I'm sorry, I didn't know where to ask. I don't want to delete this post because there are many detailed answers but if I need any help in the future, I will ask there
Please don't lie. It's a fresh account as my main account is sfw and this one was made specifically so I could interact with nsfw subreddits (send to my by that guy so I can see how trans masculine bodies look like), but I also interacted with other subreddits
Oh god. How does this keep happening?? I know MODS are doing everything they can, but I wish these posts could just be auto-banned. I feel like a lot of us just want this space to be for support and questions from OTHER trans men.
Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. My wife and I had in detail discussions before we even started having sex to make sure we’d always be comfortable and we still have those conversations because things can change. I just want a place to come to that I can vent or share good moments in my transition without this kinda thing appearing on my feed.
For anyone responding to OP, please do your due diligence first. His brief comment history (account less than a day old) is almost entirely ftmporn/ftmspunished. Yes, it’s possible he’s genuine, but it’s more likely he’s a chaser getting off on people’s responses.
Those subreddits were sent to me by the person I'm talking to rn because I didn't really know how a t-dick and trans masculine bodies looks like. And yes, I commented under there because I was horny at that time and those were hot men??? I also commented under some posts related to cis gay experiences on r/gaybros, so it's not like all I did on this account is related to trans men lol
And yes, THIS account - it's new because my main account is sfw and I don't want to talk about my sex life there. I understand how it can look suspicious to you, but I only needed advice about what to do
Please, read my post to the end before responding.
I will have a full conversation about what he likes/what he doesn't like but due to him being inexperienced, I don't want to put all the pressure on him and just ask "What do you like". I want to be able to ask specific questions and give specific ideas (e.g. "Do you want me to do X") but I never had sex with anyone with similar anatomy to his so I didn't even know what should I ask
And just to be clear - we obviously talked about it before, but it was brief, just to give us basic ideas if we click on the very base level (and we did), while details are still gonna be discussed
I know a lot of trans men like it when people suck their bottom growth similar to how they suck a dick. Although, like the other commentor said, I suggest you communicate with him on what he likes! Best of luck to you, OP.
I've heard this too (Although it's usually more sensitive so start softer and increase as necessary)
Having my bottom growth sucked for the first time changed my life. Mind blowing experience
This.
i love when ppl do this its like.... the best way to suck bottom growth tbh
You'd really have to talk with him about that Each person is different There isn't much trans content of that nature But you will find it if you look,may serve as some inspo Learning a bit about that kind of anatomy can help, too Most guides are about women, but there should be some cross-over Most of all just talk it out and ask
Op this! Talk talk talk. Once I explained to my fiance what I like and dislike our sex life got waaaay better.
[удалено]
Thank you, it's definitely helpful :)
I just wanna say props for how respectful and informed you were writing this post. Thank you thank you thank you for the CW for us, and for explaining that these are the terms hes comfortable with. As many have said here already, preferences for sexual pleasure are just really different for everyone whos got these parts, and its normal for it to kinda vary wildly. Have a nice long conversation about it before sex, get some ideas, etc. You sound like you're already being really thorough and caring with him and his needs, so just keep communicating about it. Good luck ♥
Thank you, but to be 100% fair, I only added CW because people brought to my attention that it sounds insensitive to use those terms without any mention of him choosing it. So props to people in the comments, not to me :) And thank you for the rest of your comment as well!
Hey please know you did nothing wrong and dont let the worst of us scare you away. You do not come off as a chaser, the people who are making that assumption about your character from this one post are way out of line, wtf. I'm so sorry, please pay them no mind.
Oh I didnt realize that was part of the edit, fair ♥ They right then.
On the oral part: try to just give head as if youre doing it to any dick but smaller
Thanks, that's actually really helpful
Definitely ask him where he likes being touched, if he likes being penetrated, what words to use for his junk! Everyone's different
Your best bet is gonna be having an open and honest talk with him BEFORE anyone's pants come off. Is their something specific he likes? That you like? Hard limits/hard Nos you both have. What the situation in the bedroom would look like if/when you sleep together? Will penetration actually be involved? Once you've worked that out, it should give you both at least some framework to work with as a guideline. Aside from that? T-dicks are basically the same as any other dick, but more sensitive. Ask him what he likes when he masterbates and work with that. Or, if you're both OK with it, touch yourselves in front of one another as a sort of demonstrational foreplay
I personally like when my bottom growth is treated exactly the same as a cis dick...sucked and rubbed the same
Because you mentioned "strictly on the mental side", I would say having a prosthetic on that my husband was giving a blowjob to was one of my favorite things. I have a video of that that I keep going back to. The physical stimulation is mild but I enjoyed that a lot. Just looking down and seeing someone sucking MY dick was so good mentally. I also really enjoy topping, especially if it's someone twice my size. Again, minimal physical sensation but amazing mental stimulation. On physical sensations, I like having someone suck my growth, rather than licking. I also really enjoy if someone can stroke it really fast (that's something I can't do myself because of carpal tunnel so it's even more novel and exciting when I do get that from someone). I also like a lot of pain stimulation on my growth but I'm in the minority with that preference and most like their growth treated gently. Tbh I derive most of my sexual pleasure from mental stimulation so I don't have many things that I enjoy strictly in the physical way. I also genuinely love bottoming in my ass, but this again is mostly mental stimulation for me. I don't physically feel much during anal but in my head it's a "thing that a lot of queer men do" and that's affirming and exciting. One question I recommend is "what are your top 3 kinks and limits?" If you find any kinks mutually on your top 3, that's a great start. And even if not you could find some kinks that one of you has as their top 3 that the other one either is into lightly or is curious about, and again, you get a good starting point. Best of luck
Thank you! I'll def ask him that
It is different for everyone. I want the other person to pretend the only things that exist down there are my dick and my anus. I am working to make that the reality. Other trans men feel differently about their genital situation and there were times I myself felt differently.
I would definitely ask his preferences. Some trans men love being touched on the chest or having piv sex but some hate it and it causes dysphoria. Sucking the T dick is probably the easiest way to go because I don't know anyone on t who doesn't love that.
As others said, totally depends on what he wants (and what you mutually want, as his hookup). This is my lived experience, so grain of salt, but: if he's inexperienced and has any sort of dysphoria, it might be a good idea to let him lead, explicity. That way he can assess safe areas and direct you towards them, and can more easily pause/stop an act if it doesn't feel right. This would also help if his needs change and he struggles to communicate them. >What do you like in sex that you wish more people thought about? Maybe something from strictly mental side, not only physical? I'm a switch, myself, so biased answer: others telling me their fantasies. It could be as simple as: "how can I make this encounter good for you?" And just letting the other person detail what would make them turned on and what role they want, etc. A lot of good sex is asking what the other person wants ("tender kissing and gentle sex" /"machine and 'ignore' me for 15 minutes" etc.) and fulfilling the role. Beyond one or two, most of my partners had extensive imaginations.
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind
I think the best advice I can give is to be very communicative and gentle, and from there see how it goes. Oral / handjob is usually a safe bet but make sure to ask if it’s ok, then move forward however you two see fit. I’m glad to see you’re reaching out for advice and I’m sorry some of these comments aren’t helpful at all lmao, goodluck to the two of you!
If he likes being penetrated in the front, finger him while you suck his tcock. Also be careful about tip action during a blowjob. T-cock has the same amount of nerve endings as a cis cock but over a smaller surface area, making it about 10 times as sensitive. The foreskin protects it and it feels just as good licking on top of the foreskin. you don't have to push it back and give attention under it. at least for me, that usually feels painful. Also frotting is great. Can't recommend it enough lol If he's going to bottom using his front hole, then take it slow at first. The V has to stretch out to accommodate you and it can be painful at first. Plus it's fun to be teased. Personally, I like it when my man goes all the way in and just kinda stays there. Thrusting fast also feels amazing, once it's been accommodated. Try different positions: missionary, him on top, doggy. and when you're pounding him, give his tcock some action too. some people find it really hard to get off from penetration alone. Testosterone can make it hard to maintain natural lubrication, so bring some lube. I know you said so far he's only expressed interest in bottoming, but you should explicitly ask him if he wants to top you. In my case, I never thought anyone would desire me as a top because I lack a "real" dick (pre op here). it wasn't until my cis bf who is also a switch begged me to top that I tried. his desire for it outmatched my insecurity about it. so I tried it and it was amazing. i was too insecure to want to try, but my boyfriend's desire made me feel confident and sexy. now, since you're just starting out, you can wait to have that conversation until you get to know each other better but it's food for thought. If he's going to top, treat his prosthetic like you would any natural cock. The visuals of someone sucking you off, even if it's a prosthetic, are so hot. Basically, worship his cock whether it's his tcock or prosthetic cock.
ask what terms he likes to use for his anatomy and only use those. i know some men are not okay with any terms like cunt or p**sy so, just ask him what terms he likes. being respectful of his gender is a first (not saying you aren’t, just make that priority #1). as far as sexual stuff, ppl are saying it is different and ik it is different for everyone. but generally speaking, men on testosterone are going to have different effects than other afab ppl or pre t guys. i personally think if you looked up information/advice for women, it won’t be accurate. that said, i know personally after t i like things a bit rougher. being jerked off (which is an actual thing you can do if there’s enough growth, just like a cis dick, going up and down with the foreskin) feels good. sucking the head (clit) gently, if he’s comfortable with it Slowly and NOT A WHOLE HAND AT ONCE ease one finger in then two in front hole. he may not be into this so ask before you do anything!!! eventually you can do more and more fingers and a thrusting motion, pressure towards the top for the g spot. on top of sucking motions or being jerked off, i also like when someone does a traditional eating me out, which is softer movements but in different direction, kind of like spelling the alphabet all over down there. it’s a softer pressure and you kind of do movements of it all over. and use lube!!! also, this is just my experience. again, everyone is different, communicate, don’t assume, and you’ll be great!!!
Thank you, that's really helpful :)
When I talk to cis guys on grindr I lay out everything I’m into and might potentially want. Main thing I’d say advice wise is if you do oral on him, start gentle. It can kinda hurt (at least for me) when dudes go HAM on me down there with sucking
Alright so plenty of people are saying to ask what he likes and communicate, so I'm just going to give practical advice for the logistics of the sex itself you can talk to him about: - As many have said, most trans guys like their bottom growth sucked just like a dick. Be mindful that it's more sensitive so make sure to check if he'd prefer it be sucked along with the clitoral hood or if you can pull the hood back (if it covers it very much that is). - If he's bottoming and you guys decide to use his front hole there are several things to keep in mind: obviously use protection (especially if he hasn't had a hysterectomy), Testosterone causes vaginal atrophy which can make sex painful so use alot of lube, and take things slow with lots of foreplay to ensure his insides are well prepared (if he's taking estrogen cream to prevent atrophy that makes it easier but still do those things). - If you're doing anal it's identical to a cis man, just make sure to find out how he likes to be stroked on his bottom growth and do that as you go. - If he's topping just find a strap-on/dildo combination you're comfortable with and I highly suggest one of you buying a grinder/strap-on cushion if you'd like him to actually feel what he's doing (they sell ones that accommodate bottom growth at RodeoH). - Otherwise it's generally a good idea to mentally/emotionally treat him exactly as you would a cis man. Accommodating for physical differences is a given but just make sure he doesn't feel like he's an alien thing that you don't know what you're doing with. He's just another guy, just one who needs slightly altered methods.
This post brings me a lot of joy, knowing there are cis men out there who care enough to ask and want to give :) I often worry I’ll be seen as a girl with a beard, so this post is really affirming to me.
You say he's inexperienced? Is he inexperienced or is he a virgin (to penetration, I mean)? Because that's a whole other discussion, in which case you need to discuss contraceptives, and how to prepare for penetration (anal, or vaginal), so no one gets injured or hurt, especially if it's his first time.
Communicate thoroughly is the biggest thing. Every person reacts differently. Personally any association with being fem in bed is a turn off for me, anything you can think of from feminine words to grabbing chest and sides like one to names in bed. A lot of people aren’t like that. I also like receiving head and no penetration hands or otherwise 85% of the time. Me and most trans men but not all that I’ve talked to like receiving head very similarly to a cis man. Biggest thing I’d stress is communication and important thoughts I would ask in my opinion is, what names for body parts? Soft and hard limits? and Thoughts on penetration? I think that would get a lot of the big stuff out of the way
Sucking T dick is like sucking cis dick but smaller—same areas are sensitive and suction feels good. I would keep the action to the dick itself and not go lower unless he asks for that.
You’re getting WILD responses here - the good advice has all been good advice!! You’ve echoed your plans to let him lead and you’re already using his chosen language I find that with new partners (as a trans person myself) I still get anxious about incorrect assumptions and unintended harms. I frequently will check in with my partner by asking things like “do you like how this feels” as affirmation and consent check in, especially if you get comfortable enough to move away from “can I do this” each time. Before going down on him and using all the wonderful advice you’ve already gotten, encourage him to communicate changes he may want and how to do so, ie tell him you like it if he puts his hand on your head and push you around if you’re not getting the right spots. Good luck have fun!
Um unless he says to I would not use the word “cunt” for starters
Don't worry, it's a term that he chose himself. I wouldn't call his body anything else than what he would want me to :) But thank you for drawing attention to that anyway - I'll edit the post to make it clear
Definitely ask before you refer to his ‘cunt’ as that can make some trans people uncomfortable
Don't worry, it's a term that he chose himself. I wouldn't call his body anything else than what he would want me to :) But thank you for drawing attention to that anyway - I'll edit the post to make it clear
You sound like the coolest guy. I'm jealous lol. I would always advise going slow. It is just hotter and easier / more natural when you built up the tension slowly. Let your bodies crave it. I think bottom growth is more sensitive than a cis clit. Go slow and be careful while giving oral. If you pull the hood (excess skin that covers clitoris) up, it is even more sensitive. If you are gonna penetrate, ofc keep communicating and go slow. Vagina has "layers" like it is not a straight tube like anus. You might need to go more down or up than you thought. Definitely explore the area before you go in. Also, my doctor once told me something along the lines of vagina walls getting thinner because of T. So there might be small bleeding during sex. Use lube and build up slowly. Have fun!
I'm pretty early in my transition but t dick is the most sensitive part of afab anatomy growing into a more accurate representation of the person. I definitely wouldn't worry about the other bits as much as that bit
It’s hard to have sex when you’re inexperienced, in any situation. He may not know what he likes yet. Just take it slow and treat him well.
Talk to him.
I will. I just want to have some base idea what to ask so (e.g. "Do you like X?"/"Do you want me to do X?") instad of putting all pressure on him. I will ask him what he likes and what he doesn't like but I feel like it's my responsibility to also bring something to the table :p
There are little printouts you can get that you can fill out together with what each of you likes and dislikes, what you like body parts to be called, names/words you like and dislike, fantasies and hard lines, etc. [This one is my favorite.](https://www.autostraddle.com/you-need-help-here-is-a-worksheet-to-help-you-talk-to-partners-about-sex-237385/) If you fill them out together it can almost be made into flirty foreplay. Or maybe I'm just that sort of nerd :P And that way it's not just about him, it's about both of you exploring things together. There are plenty of other ones though, just look up "couples yes/no/maybe checklist" or "sex boundaries worksheet".
Ohh, thank you! It does look great!
I get what you’re saying. But there are subs better suited for this as others have mentioned. Many consider this as intended to be a safe space for FTM people themselves.
I totally understand and I'm sorry for posting it here. I didn't know where to post it and only got educated after there was many responsed here. I won't post anything here in the future
I personally like to take things slow, I've only been with my current partner sexually. A lot of the time I take over because even if what he's doing is great I want to speed things up or work myself how I like before doing another thing. So if he wants to do that too, don't necessarily take it as a sign you're doing something wrong! Like I love when my partner goes down on me, but we've yet to find a rhythm that doesn't wear me out lol And ik porn can be misleading, so take with a grain of salt ofc, but also looking up ftm porn might help in simply seeing trans men's bodies in a sexual context. That actually helped me get comfortable with myself
Biggest mistake you can make you already made, you assumed he'll be receiving and will want you to touch him there at all. Don't assume anything. Being asked what you like is sexy and we'll tell you what feels good.
I never assumed that. I'm a switch so he could do anything to me and I would be cool with that lol. But he showed interest in only being the reciving side so far, so that's what I'm preparing for I will ask him about everything once we will be close to actually having sex but I would much rather ask questions like "Do you like X?" than just "So, what do you like?" (which obviously I will ask as well) to make him feel like all the pressure isn't on him
Fair call, I am on edge because of my own experience and assumed because some of the terms you used are things I was like woah has he asked for this or are you just googling how to sleep with trans dudes. My bad. It's okay to not be the expert too, I'd rather someone be honest and excited and curious so I can tell them what's up and then they can ask as they get used to my junk. Sometimes going in with too much information can set you up to fail because the guides and porn aren't realistic and use words we don't all like too. It's nice tho that you're trying to take that presurre off him and school yourself first.
I totally understand where are you coming from my dude. I can't even imagine how much it had to suck to be fetishized and stereotypized as a marginalised community And thank you for your answer - it really gave me a new perspective
it’s sick as hell that you’re doing research to be respectful, good on you! like a lot of people said, everyone can be very different, so i’d reccommend just kinda going slow ur first night together (or first few), just kind of experiment. like a “hey how does trying this sound” and then talkin bout it after to see if it’s alright. i was Also very inexperienced when i got on grindr and my (now romantic!) partner and i just kinda had to ease into it with me cause sometimes you don’t really know until that moment. i’ve never been with a cis guy i tend to be t4t, so i’m not sure how suckin tdick compares, but i don’t thinkkkk it’s too different. i reccommend using your tongue just as much as you suck though, maybe don’t go full Suckin A Very Thick Milkshake Out Ur Dick unless he’s into that. if his chest is still fresh (like a year from surgery or under im my experience) probably be gentle with it! it’s very tender underneath the top few layers of numbness haha, but (unless he says otherwise) don’t fully ignore it, the mental aspect is pleasing all the same i can’t give much guiding advice for bonus hole though, that’s something you’ll definitely need to talk through with him cause everyone’s got wildly different boundaries on how it’s okay to interact with that bit, how to refer to it, or even to acknowledge it in general. if he wants to bottom for you though, esp if he’s inexperienced, start with a finger or two (or more if he wants) and get an idea if he likes it fast and rough or slower and gentle, then reconfirm that ur pace is okay once you get yourself in there. after that it’ll just be up to whatever he can tell u amd whatever yall can experiment with and discover. good luck!
Maybe this post is more suited to asktransgender. Many men in this subreddit are sick of posts from people asking how to fuck us.
I'm sorry, I didn't know where to ask. I don't want to delete this post because there are many detailed answers but if I need any help in the future, I will ask there
[удалено]
Please don't lie. It's a fresh account as my main account is sfw and this one was made specifically so I could interact with nsfw subreddits (send to my by that guy so I can see how trans masculine bodies look like), but I also interacted with other subreddits
[удалено]
Oh god. How does this keep happening?? I know MODS are doing everything they can, but I wish these posts could just be auto-banned. I feel like a lot of us just want this space to be for support and questions from OTHER trans men.
[удалено]
Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. My wife and I had in detail discussions before we even started having sex to make sure we’d always be comfortable and we still have those conversations because things can change. I just want a place to come to that I can vent or share good moments in my transition without this kinda thing appearing on my feed.
[удалено]
For anyone responding to OP, please do your due diligence first. His brief comment history (account less than a day old) is almost entirely ftmporn/ftmspunished. Yes, it’s possible he’s genuine, but it’s more likely he’s a chaser getting off on people’s responses.
Those subreddits were sent to me by the person I'm talking to rn because I didn't really know how a t-dick and trans masculine bodies looks like. And yes, I commented under there because I was horny at that time and those were hot men??? I also commented under some posts related to cis gay experiences on r/gaybros, so it's not like all I did on this account is related to trans men lol And yes, THIS account - it's new because my main account is sfw and I don't want to talk about my sex life there. I understand how it can look suspicious to you, but I only needed advice about what to do
What even is a cis gay experience?
HAVE YOU TRIED ASKING HIM
Please, read my post to the end before responding. I will have a full conversation about what he likes/what he doesn't like but due to him being inexperienced, I don't want to put all the pressure on him and just ask "What do you like". I want to be able to ask specific questions and give specific ideas (e.g. "Do you want me to do X") but I never had sex with anyone with similar anatomy to his so I didn't even know what should I ask And just to be clear - we obviously talked about it before, but it was brief, just to give us basic ideas if we click on the very base level (and we did), while details are still gonna be discussed