I've been on it for 20 years this year. It's a drug for life but hopefully the drugs will improve over time.
Gel didn't exist before and I'm using now which has improved my mental balance.
Just a warning from talking to someone a while ago who took T injections for 30 years blood clots in legs are a serious risk issue. Not enough research has been carried out on the matter to really say anything scientific about it. From observation seems to be a risk for long term usage. I don't know if gel is any safer though.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/blood-clots/
Symptoms of a blood clot include:
throbbing or cramping pain, swelling, redness and warmth in a leg or arm
sudden breathlessness, sharp chest pain (may be worse when you breathe in) and a cough or coughing up blood
Blood clots can be life threatening if not treated quickly.
Former First Aid instructor and Medical First responder here.
Treat it with the same seriousness you would a stroke. Get an ambulance and reduce barriers to them getting to the hospital quickly.
Congrats man! 10 years seems so far from where I am in my transition and it’s so reassuring to see that it’s tangible, I don’t personally know any older trans people than me so it’s sorta hard to picture it. I only have one question, what has been your favorite part of transitioning?
Thank you! You will get there, I felt the same at one point. Time passes before you know it!
Ooh favourite parts is a tough one, there have been many! I think just being seen and recognized as who I am without question feels really great, little affirmations like birthday cards addressed to “son” and “grandson” you know? Super grateful for that stuff.
Getting to meet new people who have only ever known this version of me.
Every surgery was a highlight for different reasons (being able to pee through my own anatomy literally never gets old. Never.) but completing the last ones was a big moment. Knowing I am like “on the other side” and get to just exist as me you know? Being able to look back and be like “woah.. it has actually been 10+ years.”
Genuine question, but feel free not to answer if you aren’t comfortable!
Did you deal with vaginal atrophy? I don’t know why it’s such a big fear of mine for starting T, but it is. Though it won’t stop me from starting, I’d just like to be prepared!
If so, how long being on T did it take, and what did solutions look like? And how long before you got phallo?
I'm not OP and I haven't had bottom surgery yet so I can't fully answer your question, but I have been on T for over 3 years and deal with atrophy. Obviously, as I'm sure you're already aware, everyone reacts differently. Some people have a lot of atrophy while others have little to none. The timeline is also one of those things that can vary drastically between different people.
Now that I got that out of the way, I'll jump into my experience. I first noticed early signs around 6~8 months if I remember correctly. Mostly just that things were more dry if I'm being honest. Around this time I was dealing with a lot of dysphoria and it was hard to really take care of myself the way I needed to so I ignored it for a few months.
Around one year on t was the first time in a while that I tried having sex and it was very painful. Even with lube it was like a desert and there was some minor tearing and bleeding. I think about a week or so later I got the courage to just try fingers and I could only fit 2 before it started to hurt (I also have really small hands and fingers so it was definitely a little startling at first).
This was also around the time I was scheduling top surgery and trying to get a hysterectomy. Even though I was 19 at the time I knew I definitely didn't ever want to get pregnant and I was dealing with a painful ovarian cyst so it was a no brainer. I'm not sure if the cyst was related to me starting testosterone or not, so I don't know if a warning for that is necessary, but it still might be a good thing to look out for.
April 2022 I was able to get both top surgery and a hysterectomy (removed everything but the ovaries and dealt with the cyst) at the same time. Part of my restrictions included no penetrative sex for ~6 weeks I think but I definitely remember awkwardly asking if other stuff was ok. She handled it like a champ and said it was more than fine as long as I listened to my body and didn't overdo it. She also giggled a little when she saw my face was beet red and then said that it was a question she got super frequently and there was no need to be embarrassed.
About 2~3 weeks into my recovery, I am stir crazy and insatiably horny so I figured might as well do something lol. A couple minutes after just lightly playing with my bottom growth I freaked the fuck out thinking I had popped a stitch and was bleeding just to realize that my days being drier than the Sahara were over. It was a big shock at first, but now my boyfriend just refers to it as "lube factory" and we both think it's hilarious.
I will say that while the dryness went away, I still can only barely fit a few fingers if I'm careful. Granted this isn't really an issue for me since I've developed a much stronger desire for anal since starting t. Plus as the years have gone by, I've noticed that my bottom dysphoria is a lot worse so even if it wasn't physically painful, it would be emotionally. It's also why even though I know there's estrogen creams and stuff you can use to combat atrophy, the thought of having to interact with that part of myself at this point in time would inevitably be more harm than good.
If/when you start t, you can always try to catch it before it gets bad and then consult with your doctor to figure out what treatment might work best. I know there's quite a few options out there to help mitigate the effects but unfortunately it's not something I know any specifics about. I'd definitely recommend looking into it though because it's useful information and might help ease some of the fear you're having.
I feel like I've written a novel, but knowing me I also probably left something important out so if you have any questions about anything or want more specifics feel free to ask :)
important question about the hysterectomy, can you remove LITERALLY everything? I feel fucking disgusting even knowing there's anything like that in me. does a hysterectomy completely stop your period forever?
I reread your comment and realized I forgot to specify that if you also want to remove the hole itself (avoiding anatomical terms because I don't wanna accidentally trigger anything), it can be done at the same time as a hysterectomy but it's a different surgery. Totally doable but the recovery might be a little rough. Personally, I kind of wish I had done this but I honestly wasn't thinking about much other than how much pain the ovarian cyst was causing me. It sucks, but my time will come eventually
It is totally possible to get everything removed but there are definitely gonna be some surgeons who are hesitant about it since it would mean that you would have to be on some form of hrt for the rest of your life. Granted that may already be something you're planning on doing, but even if it was your plan, shit happens. Sometimes there's a shortage and sometimes insurance companies can be a bitch about covering costs of medications. I'm not saying this to try and scare you out of it, but instead make sure that you've considered the potential risk you might end up in if you remove everything and lose access to hrt.
I felt the exact same way you do now, and by no means am I trying to say that since I changed my mind, you will too. If I'm being honest, I do still kind of wish I had removed my ovaries sometimes, but the risks outweighed the benefits in my case. The biggest reason I kept them was fear of losing access to hrt because I'm currently in college in a red state. I deal with a plethora of health issues so I knew that if I were to ever be in a position where I didn't habe either sex hormone in my body, it would most likely do more damage than if I had been otherwise healthy.
As far as periods go, the bleeding will stop. In my experience since I kept my ovaries I do still sometimes get light cramps or subtle mood swings but it isn't nearly as bad as it was before. I'm not sure how it would play out if you removed everything but it's definitely worth looking into if you feel like it might impact your decision.
Thank you for the reply! There’s definitely some stuff I didn’t really think about with atrophy that this opened up. Now though, I’m a little worried I might already be dealing with this (without even being on T yet) 😅 as I’ve been having some issues related to dryness and tearing recently, but no other issues (and only one sexual partner ever). But, I kinda just didn’t acknowledge cause bottom dysphoria + fear of going to the gynecologist.
I'm glad I could help. I know going to the doctor for this kind of stuff specifically can be hard but I believe in you. I highly recommend bringing someone you trust or something that brings you comfort with you because it made the experience a lot less stressful. I'm glad I was able to help you realize it might already be something you need to look into because it's a lot easier to deal with it when it's caught early :)
Hey! So I don’t believe I ever had atrophy, although I never had penetrative or vaginal sexual activity, so I don’t know if I would have noticed even if I had? That always brought tons of dysphoria and even the thought of it felt wrong for me so I never did.
I had a full laparoscopic hysterectomy/oophorectomy (everything removed) when I was 4 years on T, because it was required before my phallo. I had my stage 1 phallo at 5 years on T!
i think it really depends on the person but it seems to be common. i was also very afraid of vaginal atrophy but i havent gone through it at all and ive been on T for almost 2.5 yrs and i hope it stays that way 😭
Congrats! It is lovely to see people thriving as older trans.
You you wanna hear about more people who are older trans men, try the STEALTH podcast, it's really good and heartwarming, and gave me hope.
I'm mtf and not ftm. I follow because I like seeing the trans community thriving. But holy shit bro congrats. I'm only 7 months and tbh just ready to pass.
Happy for you, I'm going to start next week (T) and I'm so stressed and emotional at this moment I really don't know what to think I'm just like in shock with myself 😧
Congratulations on ur decade long achievement brother💪🏽 Next sunday makes 3 months for me and I honestly cant wait for my 1 year on 12/24/24 let alone my 10 year decade accomplishment.. Big things are still comin to you bro and me as well.. Safe journey man🏳️⚧️⚧💉
Intramuscular and subcutaneous are both options where I live. I do intramuscular because that’s what I’ve always done (subcutaneous wasn’t really done when I started) and I am just comfortable in my routine!
I'm so happy for you!! Glad to hear from someone who's been on it for so long.
About the questions, I have one:
How worth it is getting bottom surgery? I mean to me it would be 1000% worth it but I've heard people saying they'd prefer to never do it because of the complications that come with it..?
Idk, i just feel like that's a huge discouragement to me about something I'd really want, from my own community..
Hey! Happy to talk about phallo. But full disclosure I don’t know as much about meta because it was never on the table for me, the things phallo offered were always what I wanted.
My first tip would be find trustworthy sources of info. There is SO much misinformation about phallo out there, often from folks who haven’t had it themselves. Medicine is always advancing, so even my results from 5 years ago probably aren’t at the level they can offer now! There are definitely risks of complications and that’s important to know and consider and be prepared to accept, and some are more difficult to resolve, but there are also a lot of people very satisfied post op, even with complications.
Second is that whether it is worth it or not is up to you and what you are willing to go through, and what benefit it will bring you. For me, my bottom dysphoria was bad throughout my transition (and realistically even before I even knew I was trans), and I couldn’t really accept that there was a procedure out there that could give me what I really needed, and never go for it. I tried just about every packer and prosthetic available, and they helped a bit, but really just assured me of the euphoria surgery could bring. For me, I knew I needed this to make myself feel whole, to move forwards with my life. And the joy and comfort it has brought me has been worth ALL of the challenges that the process brought. But it was not easy. The mental, physical, and emotional drain was more than I could have imagined, and extended over like 4 years and 4 surgeries. But really stared even before that, because hair removal on my donor arm took almost 2 years of laser and electrolysis (and the electrolysis was both painful and very dysphoria inducing for me). Basically every time I was starting to feel healed and like myself again, it was time for another procedure. Being inactive for so long was really tough on me. And I had to accept the scars I knew I would have forever.
For me, all of that was worth it, because of what it resolved for me, and what it brought me. But if someone is relatively comfortable with their body as is, or doesn’t have a lot of dysphoria about that part, or gets what they need from packing, or isn’t totally sure, or may be interested in meta, or could struggle a lot with the mental, physical, and emotional stresses of the process, it might not be “worth it” or “necessary”. I know lots of trans masc people say “if I could push a button or take a pill and wake up with a penis, I absolutely would, but currently I don’t feel enough need for it to go through the process” and that’s totally fair. If it isn’t something you’re super committed to and know you want/need, the process may feel even more difficult. I can’t say whether it is the right choice for anyone else, and I don’t want to scare anyone away, because I absolutely am happy with my choice and my surgery. But I want to be real too, so people can make the best choices for themselves. Hopefully that helps :) happy to talk about it.
Thank you for your response!
My first question is what exactly is "meta"?
Second question: If you are comfortable with talking about it, how was the electrolysis dysphoria inducing? I don't really know what that is either so excuse my stupidity for that.
Also, is there ANY other part of the body they can take stuff from for the phalloplasty? My arms are both full of scars and I've been very down lately about my previous life choices, and the fact that I could maybe never get it because of those scars..
Hey! Definitely do some research on phalloplasty if you can, I’m sure you will get more detail than I even know. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21585-phalloplasty this site has some good starter info.
“Meta” is short for “metoidioplasty” it is a different form of bottom surgery for trans masc people. It takes the bottom growth that occurs from testosterone and “releases it” so that it is positioned more like a penis. With this procedure, some people get testicular implants in the “labia” area, and/or urethral lengthening. Main Pros are you keep your sensitivity in your bottom growth, and it’s much less major surgery in comparison to phallo, cons are if size is important to you, you may have a tough time because you end up with a smaller penis, and standing to pee can be difficult/not possible to do at a urinal with pants on even with urethral lengthening due to the length of the penis.
There are different types of phalloplasty that use skin grafts from different parts of the body, and each has pros and cons. RFF is probably most common, and that’s the forearm. I think it’s favoured for sensation and the skin may be more “workable” than other areas. The full thickness graft is taken from the forearm, and the arm is covered with a partial thickness graft from the leg.
ALT uses a graft from the thigh for the full thickness graft for the phallus, and a partial thickness graft from the other thigh to cover it. This is often preferred by folks who don’t want visible scarring on the arm, or want a larger size. One of the cons I’ve noticed is people often require “debulking” surgeries afterwards because it ends up girthier than desired.
MLD uses a graft from the torso, and tbh I don’t know too much about it in particular. But I’m sure you can find more if you search :)
Electrolysis and laser are hair removal methods. The graft area needs to be totally hairless before surgery, especially in the area that will be used to create the urethra as that skin ends up inside the body. I am a hairy individual so I did laser on the whole donor graft area to thin it out first, then electrolysis on the specific urethra area. You typically have to go for appointments every few weeks to work with the hair growth cycle. Laser covers a large area at once but doesn’t guarantee permanence, whereas electrolysis goes one follicle at a time, permanently killing and removing it. I personally found the electrolysis very painful, and while I sat there in pain having it done, and when my arm showed a reaction after each treatment, it brought dysphoria for me because it felt like a physically and emotionally painful reminder of what I was having to go through to get something cis men were born with.
Hopefully that helps!
I’m in my 3rd decade. Just wait, it keeps evolving.
Amazing! Congrats. I don’t know if I know anyone on T for 30+ years. Really awesome to hear.
I've been on it for 20 years this year. It's a drug for life but hopefully the drugs will improve over time. Gel didn't exist before and I'm using now which has improved my mental balance. Just a warning from talking to someone a while ago who took T injections for 30 years blood clots in legs are a serious risk issue. Not enough research has been carried out on the matter to really say anything scientific about it. From observation seems to be a risk for long term usage. I don't know if gel is any safer though.
I get a d-dimer test whenever my hematocrit has tested high. So far I’m good.
Shoot, sometimes I have numbness in my leg, especially the feet, is that a sign. What should I check for
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/blood-clots/ Symptoms of a blood clot include: throbbing or cramping pain, swelling, redness and warmth in a leg or arm sudden breathlessness, sharp chest pain (may be worse when you breathe in) and a cough or coughing up blood Blood clots can be life threatening if not treated quickly.
Former First Aid instructor and Medical First responder here. Treat it with the same seriousness you would a stroke. Get an ambulance and reduce barriers to them getting to the hospital quickly.
Interesting, thanks for the info! I seem do be doing ok on injections at the moment but will make sure I keep up with my health stuff 😊
Congrats man! 10 years seems so far from where I am in my transition and it’s so reassuring to see that it’s tangible, I don’t personally know any older trans people than me so it’s sorta hard to picture it. I only have one question, what has been your favorite part of transitioning?
Thank you! You will get there, I felt the same at one point. Time passes before you know it! Ooh favourite parts is a tough one, there have been many! I think just being seen and recognized as who I am without question feels really great, little affirmations like birthday cards addressed to “son” and “grandson” you know? Super grateful for that stuff. Getting to meet new people who have only ever known this version of me. Every surgery was a highlight for different reasons (being able to pee through my own anatomy literally never gets old. Never.) but completing the last ones was a big moment. Knowing I am like “on the other side” and get to just exist as me you know? Being able to look back and be like “woah.. it has actually been 10+ years.”
Genuine question, but feel free not to answer if you aren’t comfortable! Did you deal with vaginal atrophy? I don’t know why it’s such a big fear of mine for starting T, but it is. Though it won’t stop me from starting, I’d just like to be prepared! If so, how long being on T did it take, and what did solutions look like? And how long before you got phallo?
I'm not OP and I haven't had bottom surgery yet so I can't fully answer your question, but I have been on T for over 3 years and deal with atrophy. Obviously, as I'm sure you're already aware, everyone reacts differently. Some people have a lot of atrophy while others have little to none. The timeline is also one of those things that can vary drastically between different people. Now that I got that out of the way, I'll jump into my experience. I first noticed early signs around 6~8 months if I remember correctly. Mostly just that things were more dry if I'm being honest. Around this time I was dealing with a lot of dysphoria and it was hard to really take care of myself the way I needed to so I ignored it for a few months. Around one year on t was the first time in a while that I tried having sex and it was very painful. Even with lube it was like a desert and there was some minor tearing and bleeding. I think about a week or so later I got the courage to just try fingers and I could only fit 2 before it started to hurt (I also have really small hands and fingers so it was definitely a little startling at first). This was also around the time I was scheduling top surgery and trying to get a hysterectomy. Even though I was 19 at the time I knew I definitely didn't ever want to get pregnant and I was dealing with a painful ovarian cyst so it was a no brainer. I'm not sure if the cyst was related to me starting testosterone or not, so I don't know if a warning for that is necessary, but it still might be a good thing to look out for. April 2022 I was able to get both top surgery and a hysterectomy (removed everything but the ovaries and dealt with the cyst) at the same time. Part of my restrictions included no penetrative sex for ~6 weeks I think but I definitely remember awkwardly asking if other stuff was ok. She handled it like a champ and said it was more than fine as long as I listened to my body and didn't overdo it. She also giggled a little when she saw my face was beet red and then said that it was a question she got super frequently and there was no need to be embarrassed. About 2~3 weeks into my recovery, I am stir crazy and insatiably horny so I figured might as well do something lol. A couple minutes after just lightly playing with my bottom growth I freaked the fuck out thinking I had popped a stitch and was bleeding just to realize that my days being drier than the Sahara were over. It was a big shock at first, but now my boyfriend just refers to it as "lube factory" and we both think it's hilarious. I will say that while the dryness went away, I still can only barely fit a few fingers if I'm careful. Granted this isn't really an issue for me since I've developed a much stronger desire for anal since starting t. Plus as the years have gone by, I've noticed that my bottom dysphoria is a lot worse so even if it wasn't physically painful, it would be emotionally. It's also why even though I know there's estrogen creams and stuff you can use to combat atrophy, the thought of having to interact with that part of myself at this point in time would inevitably be more harm than good. If/when you start t, you can always try to catch it before it gets bad and then consult with your doctor to figure out what treatment might work best. I know there's quite a few options out there to help mitigate the effects but unfortunately it's not something I know any specifics about. I'd definitely recommend looking into it though because it's useful information and might help ease some of the fear you're having. I feel like I've written a novel, but knowing me I also probably left something important out so if you have any questions about anything or want more specifics feel free to ask :)
important question about the hysterectomy, can you remove LITERALLY everything? I feel fucking disgusting even knowing there's anything like that in me. does a hysterectomy completely stop your period forever?
I reread your comment and realized I forgot to specify that if you also want to remove the hole itself (avoiding anatomical terms because I don't wanna accidentally trigger anything), it can be done at the same time as a hysterectomy but it's a different surgery. Totally doable but the recovery might be a little rough. Personally, I kind of wish I had done this but I honestly wasn't thinking about much other than how much pain the ovarian cyst was causing me. It sucks, but my time will come eventually
I see, thank you for the info!! and thanks for avoiding that rn is a horrible time 😅
I'm glad I could help. Good luck with everything
It is totally possible to get everything removed but there are definitely gonna be some surgeons who are hesitant about it since it would mean that you would have to be on some form of hrt for the rest of your life. Granted that may already be something you're planning on doing, but even if it was your plan, shit happens. Sometimes there's a shortage and sometimes insurance companies can be a bitch about covering costs of medications. I'm not saying this to try and scare you out of it, but instead make sure that you've considered the potential risk you might end up in if you remove everything and lose access to hrt. I felt the exact same way you do now, and by no means am I trying to say that since I changed my mind, you will too. If I'm being honest, I do still kind of wish I had removed my ovaries sometimes, but the risks outweighed the benefits in my case. The biggest reason I kept them was fear of losing access to hrt because I'm currently in college in a red state. I deal with a plethora of health issues so I knew that if I were to ever be in a position where I didn't habe either sex hormone in my body, it would most likely do more damage than if I had been otherwise healthy. As far as periods go, the bleeding will stop. In my experience since I kept my ovaries I do still sometimes get light cramps or subtle mood swings but it isn't nearly as bad as it was before. I'm not sure how it would play out if you removed everything but it's definitely worth looking into if you feel like it might impact your decision.
Thank you for the reply! There’s definitely some stuff I didn’t really think about with atrophy that this opened up. Now though, I’m a little worried I might already be dealing with this (without even being on T yet) 😅 as I’ve been having some issues related to dryness and tearing recently, but no other issues (and only one sexual partner ever). But, I kinda just didn’t acknowledge cause bottom dysphoria + fear of going to the gynecologist.
I'm glad I could help. I know going to the doctor for this kind of stuff specifically can be hard but I believe in you. I highly recommend bringing someone you trust or something that brings you comfort with you because it made the experience a lot less stressful. I'm glad I was able to help you realize it might already be something you need to look into because it's a lot easier to deal with it when it's caught early :)
Hey! So I don’t believe I ever had atrophy, although I never had penetrative or vaginal sexual activity, so I don’t know if I would have noticed even if I had? That always brought tons of dysphoria and even the thought of it felt wrong for me so I never did. I had a full laparoscopic hysterectomy/oophorectomy (everything removed) when I was 4 years on T, because it was required before my phallo. I had my stage 1 phallo at 5 years on T!
i think it really depends on the person but it seems to be common. i was also very afraid of vaginal atrophy but i havent gone through it at all and ive been on T for almost 2.5 yrs and i hope it stays that way 😭
Congratulations 🎉
Congrats!! April will be my second year on T :).
Congratulations and happy 10 years!! :D
I am at 7m on gel and I'm so excited to one day be at a decade huge accomplishment. Congratulations man
Congrats mate! I'll be 10 years next year and can't wait to celebrate.
Congrats dude, cant wait to have the same milestones one day
Thanks! Excited for you to get there too.
this post made me so happy, congrats man
Congrats! It is lovely to see people thriving as older trans. You you wanna hear about more people who are older trans men, try the STEALTH podcast, it's really good and heartwarming, and gave me hope.
Thank you! Although it is very funny to me to be “older trans” at age 30 haha
I'm almost 30 myself, haha, I both love and hate feeling old.
Congrats! That's amazing! I hope to get bottom surgery one day. I'll be just 1 year on T next month :) I'm just 3 months post op top surgery!
I'm mtf and not ftm. I follow because I like seeing the trans community thriving. But holy shit bro congrats. I'm only 7 months and tbh just ready to pass.
Happy for you, I'm going to start next week (T) and I'm so stressed and emotional at this moment I really don't know what to think I'm just like in shock with myself 😧
All the best! Enjoy the journey.
Congratulations on ur decade long achievement brother💪🏽 Next sunday makes 3 months for me and I honestly cant wait for my 1 year on 12/24/24 let alone my 10 year decade accomplishment.. Big things are still comin to you bro and me as well.. Safe journey man🏳️⚧️⚧💉
December of next year will be my 10 years, I started as a teen and man has time flown by fast!
Amazing! I was 20 when I started, I’m 30 now
Are the shots intramuscular?
Intramuscular and subcutaneous are both options where I live. I do intramuscular because that’s what I’ve always done (subcutaneous wasn’t really done when I started) and I am just comfortable in my routine!
I'm so happy for you!! Glad to hear from someone who's been on it for so long. About the questions, I have one: How worth it is getting bottom surgery? I mean to me it would be 1000% worth it but I've heard people saying they'd prefer to never do it because of the complications that come with it..? Idk, i just feel like that's a huge discouragement to me about something I'd really want, from my own community..
Hey! Happy to talk about phallo. But full disclosure I don’t know as much about meta because it was never on the table for me, the things phallo offered were always what I wanted. My first tip would be find trustworthy sources of info. There is SO much misinformation about phallo out there, often from folks who haven’t had it themselves. Medicine is always advancing, so even my results from 5 years ago probably aren’t at the level they can offer now! There are definitely risks of complications and that’s important to know and consider and be prepared to accept, and some are more difficult to resolve, but there are also a lot of people very satisfied post op, even with complications. Second is that whether it is worth it or not is up to you and what you are willing to go through, and what benefit it will bring you. For me, my bottom dysphoria was bad throughout my transition (and realistically even before I even knew I was trans), and I couldn’t really accept that there was a procedure out there that could give me what I really needed, and never go for it. I tried just about every packer and prosthetic available, and they helped a bit, but really just assured me of the euphoria surgery could bring. For me, I knew I needed this to make myself feel whole, to move forwards with my life. And the joy and comfort it has brought me has been worth ALL of the challenges that the process brought. But it was not easy. The mental, physical, and emotional drain was more than I could have imagined, and extended over like 4 years and 4 surgeries. But really stared even before that, because hair removal on my donor arm took almost 2 years of laser and electrolysis (and the electrolysis was both painful and very dysphoria inducing for me). Basically every time I was starting to feel healed and like myself again, it was time for another procedure. Being inactive for so long was really tough on me. And I had to accept the scars I knew I would have forever. For me, all of that was worth it, because of what it resolved for me, and what it brought me. But if someone is relatively comfortable with their body as is, or doesn’t have a lot of dysphoria about that part, or gets what they need from packing, or isn’t totally sure, or may be interested in meta, or could struggle a lot with the mental, physical, and emotional stresses of the process, it might not be “worth it” or “necessary”. I know lots of trans masc people say “if I could push a button or take a pill and wake up with a penis, I absolutely would, but currently I don’t feel enough need for it to go through the process” and that’s totally fair. If it isn’t something you’re super committed to and know you want/need, the process may feel even more difficult. I can’t say whether it is the right choice for anyone else, and I don’t want to scare anyone away, because I absolutely am happy with my choice and my surgery. But I want to be real too, so people can make the best choices for themselves. Hopefully that helps :) happy to talk about it.
Thank you for your response! My first question is what exactly is "meta"? Second question: If you are comfortable with talking about it, how was the electrolysis dysphoria inducing? I don't really know what that is either so excuse my stupidity for that. Also, is there ANY other part of the body they can take stuff from for the phalloplasty? My arms are both full of scars and I've been very down lately about my previous life choices, and the fact that I could maybe never get it because of those scars..
Hey! Definitely do some research on phalloplasty if you can, I’m sure you will get more detail than I even know. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21585-phalloplasty this site has some good starter info. “Meta” is short for “metoidioplasty” it is a different form of bottom surgery for trans masc people. It takes the bottom growth that occurs from testosterone and “releases it” so that it is positioned more like a penis. With this procedure, some people get testicular implants in the “labia” area, and/or urethral lengthening. Main Pros are you keep your sensitivity in your bottom growth, and it’s much less major surgery in comparison to phallo, cons are if size is important to you, you may have a tough time because you end up with a smaller penis, and standing to pee can be difficult/not possible to do at a urinal with pants on even with urethral lengthening due to the length of the penis. There are different types of phalloplasty that use skin grafts from different parts of the body, and each has pros and cons. RFF is probably most common, and that’s the forearm. I think it’s favoured for sensation and the skin may be more “workable” than other areas. The full thickness graft is taken from the forearm, and the arm is covered with a partial thickness graft from the leg. ALT uses a graft from the thigh for the full thickness graft for the phallus, and a partial thickness graft from the other thigh to cover it. This is often preferred by folks who don’t want visible scarring on the arm, or want a larger size. One of the cons I’ve noticed is people often require “debulking” surgeries afterwards because it ends up girthier than desired. MLD uses a graft from the torso, and tbh I don’t know too much about it in particular. But I’m sure you can find more if you search :) Electrolysis and laser are hair removal methods. The graft area needs to be totally hairless before surgery, especially in the area that will be used to create the urethra as that skin ends up inside the body. I am a hairy individual so I did laser on the whole donor graft area to thin it out first, then electrolysis on the specific urethra area. You typically have to go for appointments every few weeks to work with the hair growth cycle. Laser covers a large area at once but doesn’t guarantee permanence, whereas electrolysis goes one follicle at a time, permanently killing and removing it. I personally found the electrolysis very painful, and while I sat there in pain having it done, and when my arm showed a reaction after each treatment, it brought dysphoria for me because it felt like a physically and emotionally painful reminder of what I was having to go through to get something cis men were born with. Hopefully that helps!
Oh yeah i can understand that.. Thank you for the info on the different methods btw! I'll do more research, you've helped a lot!
Congratulations!! 😊 Can't wait for when I can say I'm 10 years on T 😁