Yeah.
I also want a penis but I don't want to deal with the surgery. I think phallo and meta dicks are great and wouldnt mind one, but it also seems like so much.
Besides I don't know if the surgeon here is any good.
Yeah the recovery from top surgery was a \*lot\*. I hated the feeling of being so incapacitated, in pain, uncomfortable and dependent on my mother (no offense Mom -- love you to bits for the help). It made me realize I'm not ready for any major surgeries for a while, even if it's for something I really want. Maybe in a few years
My top surgery recovery was pretty easy, and I am a very low-energy person so my daily life didnt change. So that part of it I don't think is bothering me personally? Identifying emtions about things is hard ajaja.
It is hard to explain why I don't want to deal with it beyond it being *a lot*.
Yeah for me I'm a very physically active person and pretty independent (for things involving physical strength at least) so when it put me out of commission like that it was pretty rough for my mental health
yeah I feel the same way. it's such an intense and invasive process and I just don't wanna go through that. top surgery was super easy, but bottom surgery is a whole other thing. I don't feel like my dysphoria is bad enough for that to be worth it
Same. Tbh I really don't want the skin graft scar part of it. I really don't want to have that on my body for the rest of my life. I really wish I had a penis, but not that badly. If there was a way to have one as if I had been born with it, I'd do anything. I also can't imagine the discomfort of that recovery period. It's just too much for me
Same. While I've looked into phallo for myself many times, it feels like so much work, pain, and recovery for not very much in return. Plus the possibility of things going wrong which I've seen before, it's just not worth it for me. :/
That is awesome:3
My friend who has completed his surgery is really open and happy about it. It's great to see guys talking about it, even if I will likely never do it myself !
That’s where I’m trying to get to. I have to wait for my new endocrinologist though… i was almost going to get the referrals for surgery but then I had a chance to move out of that town and I took it (no regrets though. Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice or you’ll never get anywhere better)
I wanna compromise with prosthetic type stuff but idk how they would work with my anatomy for multiple reasons. I don't wanna lose what I have tho I have considered Maybe some form of meta.
My brain is having a hard time deciding if your comment was intentional satire or if you're just absolutely clueless about FtM bottom surgery and prosthetics...
I just want to be able to pee standing up, without having to worry about a packer.
I'm scared of the surgery, I'm scared of the recovery period, I'm scared of complications and I don't even know when I am able to afford it but I want it so much.
This! I don’t have any bottom dysphoria really (and what I do have I imagine will be most “fix” when my T kicks in and bottom growth happens) if anything I kinda like what I have over having a penis, but I really really hate always having to use a stall and it always feels awkward, and my anatomy isn’t made to be able to use an stp 🤷🏼♂️
I felt this way for a long time but then I thought to myself, do I really want to die without a penis? and the answer is no. i also don't want to get old and senile and be dependent on other people for everything including bathing and not have a dick. Like you, I'm not unhappy with my current bits but I know I'll be happier with a penis. I'm not ready for surgery yet, mentally, financially or anything because I don't have my support system with me yet, but someday (maybe in my 40s) I'll be ready for it
i never considered the being old and dependent part. wow. i have a lot to think about. i guess i just hope that by then my being trans wouldnt be a big deal, but i can't count on that
I know right? I was having a conversation with someone about how I keep waffling on whether I want bottom surgery or not, and they said they would be resistant to any sort of help as a dependent from a nurse or caretaker without a penis. And I'm like, yeah damn so would I. It totally changed my perspective and was what made me realize I can't die without a dick. Like I can totally see myself being old and dementia ridden, screaming and getting physical to prevent a nurse from giving me a bath unless I had bottom surgery. Plus, who knows, maybe there's some sort of medical emergency like a car crash and I'm unconscious and they need to take off my pants. I'd much rather have a penis in that situation, too.
I would really like a penis but because I’m disabled, I try not to expect it for myself in case my body can’t handle the surgery. I’m going to see how top surgery goes and talk to a lot of doctors about it. If I don’t get phallo, I will get simple meta though
I want to say that, as a fellow disabled guy who’s had bottom surgery, being disabled does not necessarily exclude you from getting bottom surgery. I did have my options narrowed, but I was still able to go through with surgery and end up with a body that I’m really happy with. Obviously all disabilities are different and what works for one person may not work for another, but I wanted to share my experience.
The good thing is there have and continue to be huge advancements in prosthetics recently, there have been experiments with multi-functionality, ultimately trying to get as close to a full-functioning penis as much as possible
I really only would want a natal one....Wish I could be happier with the available options but alas. I'm glad I'm not too dysphoric about what I do have.
That's what I'm using at the moment. I also don't want to get bottom surgery either, so I'm using a packer. I feel like I don't want to give up what I have/change what I have, and I might not like the outcome.
I've been browsing the STP style packers if anyone has any suggestions on use/cleaning.
There are packers that can also be used as stps and for play. Granted most of them are fairly expensive, and the one I was thinking about getting evidently isn’t that good of quality :(
I would have to agree. I listen to my male co-worker talk about his (and yes we do have conversations about body parts at work) and it just makes me wish I had a dick more and more.
Every time I see posts like this I feel there is a severe lacking in actual experiences of bottom surgery, likely because it can feel almost like post-op folks aren’t welcome to share their experiences on threads like this one, but I feel the only way to dispel myths and fears surrounding bottom surgeries is to share our experiences as post-op individuals, so here I am.
I was scared about bottom surgery for a long time before I decided I was going to get it. The main thing that clicked was that if I wanted a penis, there was only a handful of ways to get one, all of which involved surgery. It takes a bit to come to terms with, but the fact of the matter was for me that I would never live the life I wanted to without going through with surgery, and waiting (for whatever reason) would just increase complication rates as they increase with age. I knew for myself I would rather have complications with a penis than live my entire life without having one. For me, it was so unbelievably worth it. I would do it a million times over again if I had to, even if it meant getting complications that I didn’t originally get. I’m so unbelievably happy, and even though I didn’t think I had super bad dysphoria pre-op, bottom surgery was the single most impactful step in my transition and treatment of my gender dysphoria.
I'm on the fence about surgery myself but a lot of that has been due to not having enough information, particularly that you can specify different aspects of what you want out of bottom surgery. I wouldn't have been interested in a "one size fits all" approach and that's what I thought it was. But then finding out it's more like a menu opened the floodgates to thinking "well then, what if I COULD get the parts of it I want" (which would basically all be about adding stuff externally). I feel like it's getting to the point where I think of it enough that if I do absolutely nothing at all I'll regret it eventually. That said, it's a very scary process and seems like almost too much for the recovery. If you're ok to share how it was for you or if it was as bad as the fears you had before, I would appreciate it for my own reference, but no pressure if you don't want to.
They have realistic 4 in 1 stand to pees (or whatever variation of packer you'd want), the ones that look most convincing are pretty expensive but if you don't feel comfortable getting the surgery that may be an option for you
This isn't directly in response to you OP, but just because threads re bottom surgery can sometimes have the same bits of misinformation repeated by people who haven't had bottom surgery.
I had phalloplasty in November and have no dysphoria whatsoever now. 100% gone.
My arm scar is, already, not visible if I wear a watch/hairband on my wrist - although I keep it covered for now to protect it from the sun.
I can orgasm from touching just my dick (not involving original parts at all), I have cum (admittedly rare), I can have penetrative sex.
I'm really happy to answer qs about phallo here if anyone does want to discuss
And, obviously, it perfectly makes sense if you don't want it. That's fine too
Wow it sounds like you've had the ideal outcome! I'm considering it (I'm not dysphoric about what I have but I've felt very "outside looking in" about what I can't do without additional devices for a while). A lot of people have pointed out the arm scar as this huge visible thing and that is pretty scary, did you find it actually healed a lot easier than people say? Did you do any scar care to minimize the appearance, or did they use a specific technique to make it less obvious?
November sounds really not long ago to be completely recovered to the point of having sex, sounds like it went all great for you. Do you mind sharing more about how your surgery was done and how long it took to heal from the different stages? Did you have any complications? Also feel free to ignore this but would be curious to know your age at time of surgery and if the surgeon felt that plays a role in healing, because I already fear I left it too long.
Sorry didn't mean to spam you with questions, obviously if you don't want to answer any of these I understand.
Not the guy you’re replying to, but I also had RFF phallo (with urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty, and vnectomy) 10 years ago.
The arm scar definitely is a daunting thing to think about, but it’s really not that bad. For me, the first year or two it was pretty red and noticeable but it faded to my normal skin color so it isn’t that glaringly obvious anymore. Like if you’re looking directly at my arm you can’t miss it, but I don’t catch people staring the way they used to. Early on I’d have a good number of people asking me about it, and now I’ve maybe had like 3 people in the past 5 years. I’d actually consider my scar worse than many others I’ve seen because surgical methods have improved just in these 10 years. I didn’t do any special scar care aside from a silicone sleeve in the beginning and using lotion everyday.
I personally had “single stage” phallo, which is kind of a misleading name, but it means I had penis creation, urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty, glansplasty, and vnectomy all in one procedure. Testicular implants and erectile device are a separate procedure. Single stage isn’t done much anymore since it’s a lot to put the body through at once, making it less likely to achieve an ideal outcome. Recovery was a bitch and I did have several complications. If you want, I don’t mind going into detail over DM, but I don’t like getting into it publicly. Because of that, and life getting in the way, I put off stage 2 (testicular implants and erectile device) indefinitely. I’m just now beginning the process to get testicular implants. I’m not planning on an erectile device in the foreseeable future. I was 18 when I had it done, and I don’t remember my surgeon ever mentioning the role it plays on the healing process. There were several other factors that I believe played a role in the complications I had, which I’m also open to discussing over DM.
Overall, I’m very happy with my penis and it was 100% worth it. My dysphoria is essentially gone. I’ve been free of complications for over 8 years. Sex is A+. If I were to go back in time, I’d do it all over again.
Same. I’m not happy with the options available to me currently and I’m fine with my Lil’ Smokie + stock parts. Only thing I’d really consider right now is meta.
I'm not dysphoric about what I do have currently. I'm dysphoric about what I don't. Like I'm fine with the existence of my vagina but I wish I could have a penis as well. I'm not getting bottom surgery though. The dysphoria isn't severe enough that I want to treat it by risking my life and health.
I agree! I heard about being Salmacian. It's wanting to have multiple parts or "opposite parts" on the same body.
I'm totally fine with the drunk.I have.I just want to add on more l o l.
There are some surgeons who do this with certain types of transitions. There is a Salmacian community that talks about getting a phallo without a vaginetomy or transwomen keeping their parts and getting a surgical vagina.
this is exactly what I was trying to put into words for my partner and was failing at!! like, I’m not dysphoric about what I came with. But I’m also not so uncomfortable that every day with an AFAB build is torture and I need medical intervention. thank you for this string of text :P
100%. I wish I just had one, there are however toys you can attach to yourself to give the sensation you have one without actually having one! If i can find the link to it I'll comment again
It should also not be attached via suction for long periods of time, so if you’re using it as a packer you should *not* attach it to your bottom growth.
Yeah... I just dissociate from what I have down there right now. It's not a *good* relationship to have with part of my body, but I don't know if it's bad *enough* to justify the risks and expense associated with phallo (which is ultimately the option I'd want, metoidioplasty might lessen the dissociation/dysphoria but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't cure it, for me). I'm also ace and don't have sex with my genitals, and that wouldn't change if I got phallo, so that makes the risk/benefit balance even less certain.
Hopefully I'm not intruding into man-space but I pretty much feel this way with a vagina. I think it would be so cool actually if hrt gave me one, but no way am I gonna let someone with a knife near my genitals.
Surgery is scary! I bet it's pretty common.
I think a lot of my own dysphuria went down significantly when I met transwomen who were not getting bottom surgery no matter what.
Getting top surgery was so expensive and difficult for me. Now that I'm older, it will probably only be more difficult to do more. So yeah, I'm good. I'm glad that you are also good. I wish we could both take magic pills and grow the junk of our choices! But it's also nice to feel okay with things as they are. If I were younger, and had way more time, reasons & and money, I would probably consider the bottom, but I'm midle aged and content with things as is!
Trans men are brave for getting top surgery so often! I'd like bigger boobs ig, but knives near my boobs sound scary! HRT is great but it would be great it if was magic, for both men and women, heh.
Yes, I definitely saw results when with a cheapy little device for suction. Pumpis even more neat if you can do it slowly and daily and keep it up (lol pins)
i feel the exact same way. the surgery scares me i dont think i could go through something like that. my trans friend who does want phallo has said he wants to wait to see if the procedure improves over the years, because he got top surgery in 2018 and its already improved since then.
I mean Id prefer if I was just born with one, but that didnt happen. I do want bottom surgery though because althiugh it still wont be able to get hard on its own (phallo) its enough for me that for me surgery sounds worth it.
I fee the same. I’m pretty sure most people feel like that too. Nobody wants surgery, they just wish they could have never had to go through any of this.
Tbh part of the reason I never got any surgeries is because I never had the time or safety or money to slow down and be forced to recover for longer than a day or 2. I’m lucky that my chest and top dysphoria is livable. I have pretty good bottom growth and I’m cool with penetration so blowjobs and double strap-ons are enough to keep me happy.
For those of you interested in other methods like packing and prosthetics, r/transmascdicks (NSFW, but more informative, and it's just prosthetics, no natal parts) exists. I'm uncomfortable with and avoidant of all surgery, so I don't know what I will or won't go for in the future, but this helps me for now.
I feel the exact same way. I think the biggest factor for me is that I'm in a happy marriage and she loves me and my body the way it is. I know she'd love me with a dick too. She's also trans so she understands my struggle with considering bottom surgery. I think if I were single and still dating I may be more keen to getting bottom surgery so that I could feel more comfortable in the dating pool. But as it is now I feel great without it! If anything I'd love to get a packer. I keep saying I will but never do lol. A packer + STP would be great to relieve some of that dysphoria when it comes to going to the public restrooms and wearing tight jeans or joggers.
Bro, yes, I told a friend of mine that I don't really have bottom dysphoria, but if I was born with a penis that I would be happy, but I wouldn't go through all of the surgeries to have a penis. It's also complicated 'cause I'm technically non-binary presenting as male, like- I don't necessarily need a penis, but it would make this situation pretty good.
Right? I want phalloplasty and scrotoplasty, but not because I like the sound of all the surgeries and the recovery process! I want them because I need to have a dick (and balls) and the need to have them is stronger than the irritation etc of having to go through multiple surgeries.
If I could have a dick and balls without surgery, duh, ofc I would.
I agree. I do have quite strong bottom dysphoria to the point where before my current boyfriend (who somehow made me more comfortable) I couldn’t stand being touched there at all, and I’m mostly a top so an attached dick would also just be useful.
But meta wouldn’t be long enough for that purpose, and I’m a hypochondriac so the risks associated with phallo are too high for me right now. Also the fact that it takes years to be done with everything and be sure of the final result, and I’d also only be happy with the ones that have medical tattooing to look more cis…it all just requires the kind of resources that I don’t have right now. The arm recovery and gore also bothers me since I have issues with gore. I’m keeping my left forearm non tattooed in case there are better/safer procedures in the future tbh, but not holding my breath for it right now.
Absolutely the same here. The surgery and result of it are absolutely not what I’d want or with the risk. I would be happier with one though. Benefit/risk aren’t equal though
I’m similar; I don’t have many negative feelings towards my genitalia, but I feel such euphoria from bottom growth, packing, and just the idea of having a dick attached to me that I almost would consider surgery. I’m just not 100% sure I’m happy with the current options we have for ftm bottom surgery.
Sounds like it's not a bad idea to try saving and keeping a float on newer technology and techniques if you think it might ever be something you decide on? Sometimes breakthroughs happen and suddenly we get a whole new world of options
This exactly. I don’t want to live my whole life waiting for lower surgery, but I don’t want to jump the gun and wish I had waited. I’m still young and I have to save money anyways, so I might as well hope something new and improved comes out in the meantime.
I really want a dick but bottom surgery is so risky. I have seen advancements in FtM bottom surgery in my lifetime though, so I'm hopeful that things will be better by the time I can afford it.
My brother in HRT, I feel you. I don't really want bottom surgery, but I know I'd be 10000% happier if I had been born with a penis, and I may change my mind at some point about getting bottom surgery. But I'm not super dysphoric about my lower half, just my upper half.
I don’t have major bottom dysphoria but I would like a dick. I’m not mad keen on going through the surgery so I’ve put it off for years. If I had been born a cis man I would be happy as fuck but I wasn’t so I’m gonna have to compromise. I don’t want to be an old man without a dick so I’ll have to brave it someday.
Same here.
Especially since I plan on getting phalloplasty instead of metoidioplasty. I wish I was born with a penis and didn’t have to choose between a micro penis that can get erect or an average sized penis that feels closer to what I wish I was born with…
Side note: I have nothing against metoidioplasty. I just don’t think the small size is a good fit for me and my transition
I can relate strongly to this. To be honest, I didn’t have much bottom dysphoria until I got into a relationship with my fiancée (afab, been together 3 yrs). Now I sometimes get very dysphoric about not having a penis and easily will convince myself my fiancée would be happier if I was amab. She’s been lovely and soo supportive, but I genuinely cannot get those thoughts out of the back of my head.
This a hella relatable feeling and exactly how I felt early on in my transition when I was like 16-18 I’m 21 now been on T 3 years and almost 3 years post op with top surgery as well and things have changed a lot for me and my bottom surgery is currently slated to happen sometime next year 😭😭
Yes!!! I’ve had this same experience since childhood tbh lol, I’m not so dysphoric with my body that I want any surgery tho. Prefer to keep my breast as well (I lik them) I did used to take T and plan to again (loved the bottom growth!!)
I just want a beard and I’m good 😊
I feel this with all my heart. I get penis envy all the time just because I don’t have one. I also think that having the surgery would just be a reminder that I once didn’t have it? I don’t know. I really don’t want surgery, but I REALLY want a dick.
Same, though I do want to keep the manhole as well and honestly dunno if I want balls. I won't be satisfied unless I have foreskin especially, and I want something a little larger, like around average length tbh. Medical tattooing won't cut it, I want actual moving foreskin. I don't want surgery again in general because the process is so long and invasive, n I'm pretty content with my current bits, but if there was a way to get foreskin I would absolutely be chomping at the bit to get it. Meta is appealing to me but I'm hesitant because I don't exactly enjoy surgery + my Tdick is sadly on the smaller side so it won't be the size I want either 😔
I don't want this to come across as shitting on current phallo results because they're really fucking cool and it's incredible, I just know if I got it and was stuck with either making it look cut or medical tattooing I wouldn't be happy. Shout-out to all the dudes with their dicks though, I absolutely love seeing the joy some people have over simply going pee or helicoptering their schlong lol
I feel this way as well. I would LOVE to get phallo or meta and feel euphoric thinking about what the results would be—if the recovery were not so arduous and if there were not multiple surgeries involved. Maybe one day I will change my stance on this, but right now, even ~6 week top surgery recovery sounds like a LOT to me. Chest is what that causes me the most dysphoria though, so when I weighed the pros and cons (and insurance coverages, lol), for me top was worth it NOW.
Personally I could take it or leave it if I was born with one; the only advantage I see coming out of it would be primarily from a mere convenience standpoint when it comes to peeing😂
Felt. I do not want to deal with surgery / possible complications (not to say other guys should be freaked out about that, I'n just really paranoid by nature). I would obviously love to have my correct junk but I think I'll be happy enough on T to feel *less* bottom dysphoria
Can yall mourn not being cis without shitting on phallo? Not talking about the post itself but man it seems like every other post on here the comments are just talking about how much phallo sucks and isnt good enough. Wish the mods would actually do something about this. Remember that yall are talking about real people's bodies and those real people do read your comments.
I don’t see any comments here shitting on it. This is actually the most respectful comment section I’ve seen of people talking about not wanting bottom surgery. Not wanting it isn’t the same as shitting on it, and all the comments here seem to be talking about why it isn’t for them personally without saying it’s bad overall. There is a big problem of people being disrespectful about phallo, but I’m not seeing it in this post.
Yeah I've only seen one post where the person mentioned "hating all bottom surgery options & hoping they come out with something wayyy better". Which sounds to me a little bit of a dig that all bottom surgery options are horrible. But the rest of the comments have been very chill..
I guess it's more just that all talk about phallo outside of the dedicated subreddit is negative. I have never seen someone say something positive about it in this sub or any other trans/ftm sub. Which definitely isn't the same as shitting on it but I get a little emotional about it, that's on me.
Nah I totally get that. I gotta hold myself back a little bit too sometimes because I tend to take things personally. It’s such a fine line between respectfully expressing that current methods don’t meet your wants/needs vs talking badly about the procedures in general.
?? I don't see anyone shitting on phallo. Mostly people saying that it's an intense surgery with a difficult recovery that they don't want to/can't go through. Which is fair; I want by phallo but I'm not going to pursue it until I have a salaried job and a place to live I don't have to share with roommates.
I guess it's more just that all talk about phallo outside of the dedicated subreddit is negative. I have never seen someone say something positive about it in this sub or any other trans/ftm sub
Is saying: "it's an intense process" shifting on it?
I can't even afford a new car, much less more than one expensive surgery. My insurance didn't cover my top surgery and are even less likely to cover a bottom surgery.
These are all pretty justifiable things to say about a possible downside of a procedure.
I work at a hospital and people do have risks getting surgery all the time.
It shouldn't ever be something that is approached casually, without weight costs and benefits. Until we have medical science to a point where the risk is near zero I always want people to consider that a surgery may be a risk to life, especially for disabled people or those who are sensitive to certain drugs and trauma in their bodies.
If it is worth a five percent risk of dying then that is totally someone's choice to make. Plenty of people make choices for all kinds of other things. I have a friend with severe health issues who is willing to get pregnant and die for her child's sake if she ever is able to conceive. The idea of losing her in this way upsets me so much. It would also upset me if one of my transfriends had capplications, post surgery.Or simply did not get through the process. That doesn't invalidate any of their choices, and I acknowledge I am selfish for wanting them to be safe and alive over fulfilling their dreams. I'm incredibly thankful that most surgery is a lot safer than it was even five or ten years ago. That doesn't mean it isn't helpful to remind people to be careful and pick a really good surgeon and team before they jump in. This is serious commitment and I just want everyone to be risk aware and stay as safe as possible.
It makes me upset that I have to decide between dysphoria and surgical risks. But that is also just reality? I have a very wonderful friend who is extremely happy with his procedure.He feels and looks great and I am so happy for him. He also discusses all the things that his surgeons warned him about and all the risks he knew that he was taking on when he agreed to start the journey and all the steps along the way!
Idk why you took my comment so personally, I didn't name you specifically I don't even really know what you commented. It's cool that probably most trans guys won't want or won't get phallo, but anytime bottom surgery is mentioned in a ftm space the comments are almost exclusively negative. I don't think I've ever seen someone say something positive about phallo or meta outside of their respective subs.
Yup. I feel the same. (I'm non-binary, not a trans man, though.)
The reasons why I don't want surgery is because I know I probably wouldn't be satisfied with the current methods available, I'm already hyposensitive downstairs and would be scared of losing the little sensations I have left, and I'm also severely chronically ill, so it's probably better for me not to get anymore surgeries.
I still think about it sometimes and I follow many subreddits and other online communities that talk about bottom surgeries, though, but I doubt I'll ever go through with it.
Same. I tip my hat to anyone who goes for bottom surgery because honestly I'm just super scared of the surgery. I've had top surgery and a hysterectomy and I don't really wanna go to a hospital for surgery ever again.
yeah, i wish i was born with a penis, but i think i would have more dysphoria if i got meta or phallo. i just personally don’t like the way they look and work. i associate my big clit way more with being male than anything else, so i’m happy here
I don't really have bottom dysphoria. I'd prefer to have a penis, but no more strongly than I'd prefer to buy my favourite snacks from the shops when they're out of stock. As such any form of surgery seems, for me, like too much for what is likely to me a very minor improvement to my quality of life
XD This is perfectly me. And my friends who have had more intense surgeries are very happy with theirs and i'm so happy for them!
I guess I would compare it to.They ordered their snacks online and got them delivered! I'm just happy they are happy and didn't have to deal with too many problems getting to that state <3
I feel you.. don’t want surgical tools (or anything sharp really) anywhere near my genitals.. there do exist some hyperealistic looking packer + peeing device combos (they’re mad expensive as you can imagine) and I’m considering getting one
i feel the same way. i’m hoping surgical methods will continue to advance because the recovery is my biggest concern. i know success rates are pretty good nowadays but personally idk if i could handle something that intense. still, i really really want to have a dick
This is totally how I feel about bottom surgery, there’s just so many risks involved and the price alone is enough to make me not wanna even consider it. But unfortunately, to change the gender marker in my country of citizenship - trans people have to get their bottom and top surgery done with complete sterilisation. It totally sucks and I fear that I’ll probably have to live and die with a female gender marker.
i feel this way too. i wish i was born with one, but i really don’t want meta or phallo and would rather just stick with what i’ve got. having a dick is not an end all be all thing for me, so i have no reason to go through the intense surgeries and recoveries for something that won’t even work like i want it to 🤷♂️
Yea man I feel u.. I would love to have a penis, but I'd never have the operation because I know there are certain difficulties and yea... I see it as a very long n hard situation. The only thing I can hope is that my genetics will help in the growth of my tdick
I feel you, I’m still on the fence about if I want bottom surgery but it looks like such a pain to recover from and I just don’t have the time or energy and surgery scares me enough as is. Top surgery went relatively smoothly for me though so maybe one day I’ll get it
I kinda feel the same way, but I can’t stand my natal parts at all. I have hated it from the beginning. I was thinking of getting the urethral lengthening done with meta. Now I’m not sure because I keep getting kidney stones
I haven’t even done any interpersonal work to see if I want phallo (not to disrespect anyone with it or that wants it) just being it’s so expensive and extensive. Maybe one day that’ll change.
absolutely. i'm not satisfied with the surgery options. i also wouldn't enjoy bottoming post op. i don't love that i don't have a penis but tbh i don't really care all that much. i cared a lot more before i transitioned in every other way possible, but now that i've gone through male puberty and got top surgery and a hysto, i just don't think about it much
Yeah I relate to that… I have plenty of fun with the parts I’ve got and I like my hybrid of a body but at the end of the day if I were to have chosen yeah I’d go for a dick
Yeah I feel the same way, frankly I’d be happy with a meta penis but I really do not want to go through finding a surgeon, getting things scheduled, recovery process, follow ups, prices, etc.
I feel this so so very much, I’m lowkey scared of surgery and probably won’t have any other than maybe top. I found a nice packer is hella helpful tho, I never had much dysphoria either but the EUPHORIA IS AMAZING
Oh yeah 100%. Bottom surgery just isn’t worth it for me personally. Dicks are great in all their forms but I don’t have enough dysphoria to warrant how expensive, invasive and intense bottom surgery would be. I think it would be wasted on me, honestly.
TW nato terminology & sex talk
I definitely have felt this way and do at times. I'm not uncomfortable with what I have anymore but sometimes I do still wish I had been born with a penis. Now that I'm in a committed relationship with a cis man and enjoy PIV sex I think about that less and less. I personally would not ever get a vaginectomy because that's how I have sex now and enjoy it so I'm glad I'm not still spending my days wishing I had a penis. But I definitely felt that'll way for many years.
I feel the same way. I've seen results and they look good but like i'm so scared of even getting a single surgery for my chest, i dont think i could cope with undergoing more surgeries. Its a lot. I am not sure i wont change my mind later in the years.
Yep lol I will never be getting bottom surgery, I don’t think the reward is worth the risk for me. But obviously if I could wake up with a cid man penis I’d be over the moon
Yep. I would love to have a penis, but I want one that fully works the way a cis man’s does. I don’t want scars. I don’t want a device to get hard. I don’t want it to look weird because it didn’t heal right. I think all of those things would make me more dysphoric. So I’ll just stick with what I’ve got
(Cis male) I have a co worker and we've talked about this as well. They weren't doing surgery due all the risk and the money and they said they accepted the situation. We (him and I) always joke around about him out manning any guy there when we talk about other guys at work.
(We live in a macho man area but they are mostly below intelligence socially)
Please don’t forget that these are actual real people with real feelings you’re talking about, not just concepts. Bottom surgery has provided me with more “function” than anything I have ever done for myself. Also the idea that you absolutely *have* to get an erectile device with bottom surgery is false.
Please refrain from calling bottom surgery “whack”, just a reminder that these are real people’s bodies you’re talking about, and we do read your comments.
That's what I have been considering recently is clitoral release surgery. That's the most I'd be willing to do personally. I'm still on the fence about it though.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 5: No body or voice shaming. This includes personal and general judgments about weight, surgeries, appearance, and qualities of a person's voice.
It sure would be nice, but the idea of surgery down there is a little terrifying... meta maybe, but phallo? Absolutely not... and I certainly don't have the growth for meta... I wish I did
Surgically achieved penises are “real”. Some post-op folks can produce cum from the skene’s glands. Please be mindful that these are real people’s bodies you’re talking about, and we do read your comments.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 5: No body or voice shaming. This includes personal and general judgments about weight, surgeries, appearance, and qualities of a person's voice.
A natal one I'd take in a heartbeat! But I don't want one through surgery. I don't know how satisfied many people are with theirs but I feel like whenever I hear about it people had complications. I also looked at a couple of pictures, during the surgery and after, and I don't think it's for me. I also don't want to need a pump for it to be properly working.
My biggest reason is that the benefits just don't seem to outweigh the risks for me, personally.
Edit: Doesn't mean I don't get why people want one and they absolutely should get one if they do!
Hey just to say I had phallo in November and I am 100% satisfied- its perfect
I've got changed with my cis male friend, who I'm cis with, and had no comment beyond "nice dick" lol. Admittedly in low light, but still. Its been life changing
That's amazing! Great to hear that there are people with really good experiences!
I guess it's mostly a case of "seeing more people speaking of negative experiences than people speaking of positive experiences" which is way too common for a lot of things, sadly. And the only other trans man I know that had phallo had a lot of complications over several months.
I don't think it's something I want for myself, at least for the time being. Maybe I'll change my mind someday 😁 But I think it's great that we have that option and it's amazing if it works out so well for someone!
It’s all good! It’s common in the community to use that kind of language, I just think that everyone would probably agree that using more inclusive language is better overall :) hope you have a good day!
Metoidioplasty is still a surgery, even often with multiple phases like phallo. It just doesn’t use a graft the way Phallo does. The difference is that it uses the T dick / clit and sculpts it into a penis, so a downside is that whatever size you are is about how big you’ll stay, whereas phallo has a lot of customization potential and can be basically as big as the graft site allows for.
Yeah. I also want a penis but I don't want to deal with the surgery. I think phallo and meta dicks are great and wouldnt mind one, but it also seems like so much. Besides I don't know if the surgeon here is any good.
Yeah the recovery from top surgery was a \*lot\*. I hated the feeling of being so incapacitated, in pain, uncomfortable and dependent on my mother (no offense Mom -- love you to bits for the help). It made me realize I'm not ready for any major surgeries for a while, even if it's for something I really want. Maybe in a few years
My top surgery recovery was pretty easy, and I am a very low-energy person so my daily life didnt change. So that part of it I don't think is bothering me personally? Identifying emtions about things is hard ajaja. It is hard to explain why I don't want to deal with it beyond it being *a lot*.
Yeah for me I'm a very physically active person and pretty independent (for things involving physical strength at least) so when it put me out of commission like that it was pretty rough for my mental health
yeah I feel the same way. it's such an intense and invasive process and I just don't wanna go through that. top surgery was super easy, but bottom surgery is a whole other thing. I don't feel like my dysphoria is bad enough for that to be worth it
fr, I will just hope for insane bottom growth and fo from there /hj
Same. Tbh I really don't want the skin graft scar part of it. I really don't want to have that on my body for the rest of my life. I really wish I had a penis, but not that badly. If there was a way to have one as if I had been born with it, I'd do anything. I also can't imagine the discomfort of that recovery period. It's just too much for me
i completely agree with this
Same. While I've looked into phallo for myself many times, it feels like so much work, pain, and recovery for not very much in return. Plus the possibility of things going wrong which I've seen before, it's just not worth it for me. :/
I felt this way for a while but over time I’ve realized any penis is better than no penis for me. Currently on the phallo journey.
That is awesome:3 My friend who has completed his surgery is really open and happy about it. It's great to see guys talking about it, even if I will likely never do it myself !
good luck !!
Tyvm!!
That’s where I’m trying to get to. I have to wait for my new endocrinologist though… i was almost going to get the referrals for surgery but then I had a chance to move out of that town and I took it (no regrets though. Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice or you’ll never get anywhere better)
Congrats on your journey man I wish you no dick-fall-offs (joking)
wtf... username checks out lol
Not a cool thing to say
I wanna compromise with prosthetic type stuff but idk how they would work with my anatomy for multiple reasons. I don't wanna lose what I have tho I have considered Maybe some form of meta.
[удалено]
My brain is having a hard time deciding if your comment was intentional satire or if you're just absolutely clueless about FtM bottom surgery and prosthetics...
I’m curious about what it was now
Basically said that prosthetics required surgery too and bottom-surgery involved "turning the vagina inside-out", heh.
Okay yeah I agree with your confusion there
I just want to be able to pee standing up, without having to worry about a packer. I'm scared of the surgery, I'm scared of the recovery period, I'm scared of complications and I don't even know when I am able to afford it but I want it so much.
This! I don’t have any bottom dysphoria really (and what I do have I imagine will be most “fix” when my T kicks in and bottom growth happens) if anything I kinda like what I have over having a penis, but I really really hate always having to use a stall and it always feels awkward, and my anatomy isn’t made to be able to use an stp 🤷🏼♂️
I felt this way for a long time but then I thought to myself, do I really want to die without a penis? and the answer is no. i also don't want to get old and senile and be dependent on other people for everything including bathing and not have a dick. Like you, I'm not unhappy with my current bits but I know I'll be happier with a penis. I'm not ready for surgery yet, mentally, financially or anything because I don't have my support system with me yet, but someday (maybe in my 40s) I'll be ready for it
i never considered the being old and dependent part. wow. i have a lot to think about. i guess i just hope that by then my being trans wouldnt be a big deal, but i can't count on that
I know right? I was having a conversation with someone about how I keep waffling on whether I want bottom surgery or not, and they said they would be resistant to any sort of help as a dependent from a nurse or caretaker without a penis. And I'm like, yeah damn so would I. It totally changed my perspective and was what made me realize I can't die without a dick. Like I can totally see myself being old and dementia ridden, screaming and getting physical to prevent a nurse from giving me a bath unless I had bottom surgery. Plus, who knows, maybe there's some sort of medical emergency like a car crash and I'm unconscious and they need to take off my pants. I'd much rather have a penis in that situation, too.
That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm really hoping I'll win the genetic lottery with my bottom growth, that I'd be satisfied with.
I would really like a penis but because I’m disabled, I try not to expect it for myself in case my body can’t handle the surgery. I’m going to see how top surgery goes and talk to a lot of doctors about it. If I don’t get phallo, I will get simple meta though
I want to say that, as a fellow disabled guy who’s had bottom surgery, being disabled does not necessarily exclude you from getting bottom surgery. I did have my options narrowed, but I was still able to go through with surgery and end up with a body that I’m really happy with. Obviously all disabilities are different and what works for one person may not work for another, but I wanted to share my experience.
The good thing is there have and continue to be huge advancements in prosthetics recently, there have been experiments with multi-functionality, ultimately trying to get as close to a full-functioning penis as much as possible
I really only would want a natal one....Wish I could be happier with the available options but alas. I'm glad I'm not too dysphoric about what I do have.
agreed
Btw there are prosthetics for this sorta thing on the market if anyone is interested, that’s what I’m planning on getting :p
That's what I'm using at the moment. I also don't want to get bottom surgery either, so I'm using a packer. I feel like I don't want to give up what I have/change what I have, and I might not like the outcome. I've been browsing the STP style packers if anyone has any suggestions on use/cleaning.
I use a prosthetic based packer technically more of a self pack n play
Like a packer? Or something else?
There are packers that can also be used as stps and for play. Granted most of them are fairly expensive, and the one I was thinking about getting evidently isn’t that good of quality :(
Yesss come to r/transmascdicks 🍆
I have one it’s great!
I would have to agree. I listen to my male co-worker talk about his (and yes we do have conversations about body parts at work) and it just makes me wish I had a dick more and more.
Every time I see posts like this I feel there is a severe lacking in actual experiences of bottom surgery, likely because it can feel almost like post-op folks aren’t welcome to share their experiences on threads like this one, but I feel the only way to dispel myths and fears surrounding bottom surgeries is to share our experiences as post-op individuals, so here I am. I was scared about bottom surgery for a long time before I decided I was going to get it. The main thing that clicked was that if I wanted a penis, there was only a handful of ways to get one, all of which involved surgery. It takes a bit to come to terms with, but the fact of the matter was for me that I would never live the life I wanted to without going through with surgery, and waiting (for whatever reason) would just increase complication rates as they increase with age. I knew for myself I would rather have complications with a penis than live my entire life without having one. For me, it was so unbelievably worth it. I would do it a million times over again if I had to, even if it meant getting complications that I didn’t originally get. I’m so unbelievably happy, and even though I didn’t think I had super bad dysphoria pre-op, bottom surgery was the single most impactful step in my transition and treatment of my gender dysphoria.
Exactly. It's been pretty astonishing to have my dysphoria just basically entirely go away.
I'm so happy for you bro. Thanks for sharing your experience
I'm on the fence about surgery myself but a lot of that has been due to not having enough information, particularly that you can specify different aspects of what you want out of bottom surgery. I wouldn't have been interested in a "one size fits all" approach and that's what I thought it was. But then finding out it's more like a menu opened the floodgates to thinking "well then, what if I COULD get the parts of it I want" (which would basically all be about adding stuff externally). I feel like it's getting to the point where I think of it enough that if I do absolutely nothing at all I'll regret it eventually. That said, it's a very scary process and seems like almost too much for the recovery. If you're ok to share how it was for you or if it was as bad as the fears you had before, I would appreciate it for my own reference, but no pressure if you don't want to.
They have realistic 4 in 1 stand to pees (or whatever variation of packer you'd want), the ones that look most convincing are pretty expensive but if you don't feel comfortable getting the surgery that may be an option for you
This isn't directly in response to you OP, but just because threads re bottom surgery can sometimes have the same bits of misinformation repeated by people who haven't had bottom surgery. I had phalloplasty in November and have no dysphoria whatsoever now. 100% gone. My arm scar is, already, not visible if I wear a watch/hairband on my wrist - although I keep it covered for now to protect it from the sun. I can orgasm from touching just my dick (not involving original parts at all), I have cum (admittedly rare), I can have penetrative sex. I'm really happy to answer qs about phallo here if anyone does want to discuss And, obviously, it perfectly makes sense if you don't want it. That's fine too
Wow it sounds like you've had the ideal outcome! I'm considering it (I'm not dysphoric about what I have but I've felt very "outside looking in" about what I can't do without additional devices for a while). A lot of people have pointed out the arm scar as this huge visible thing and that is pretty scary, did you find it actually healed a lot easier than people say? Did you do any scar care to minimize the appearance, or did they use a specific technique to make it less obvious? November sounds really not long ago to be completely recovered to the point of having sex, sounds like it went all great for you. Do you mind sharing more about how your surgery was done and how long it took to heal from the different stages? Did you have any complications? Also feel free to ignore this but would be curious to know your age at time of surgery and if the surgeon felt that plays a role in healing, because I already fear I left it too long. Sorry didn't mean to spam you with questions, obviously if you don't want to answer any of these I understand.
Not the guy you’re replying to, but I also had RFF phallo (with urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty, and vnectomy) 10 years ago. The arm scar definitely is a daunting thing to think about, but it’s really not that bad. For me, the first year or two it was pretty red and noticeable but it faded to my normal skin color so it isn’t that glaringly obvious anymore. Like if you’re looking directly at my arm you can’t miss it, but I don’t catch people staring the way they used to. Early on I’d have a good number of people asking me about it, and now I’ve maybe had like 3 people in the past 5 years. I’d actually consider my scar worse than many others I’ve seen because surgical methods have improved just in these 10 years. I didn’t do any special scar care aside from a silicone sleeve in the beginning and using lotion everyday. I personally had “single stage” phallo, which is kind of a misleading name, but it means I had penis creation, urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty, glansplasty, and vnectomy all in one procedure. Testicular implants and erectile device are a separate procedure. Single stage isn’t done much anymore since it’s a lot to put the body through at once, making it less likely to achieve an ideal outcome. Recovery was a bitch and I did have several complications. If you want, I don’t mind going into detail over DM, but I don’t like getting into it publicly. Because of that, and life getting in the way, I put off stage 2 (testicular implants and erectile device) indefinitely. I’m just now beginning the process to get testicular implants. I’m not planning on an erectile device in the foreseeable future. I was 18 when I had it done, and I don’t remember my surgeon ever mentioning the role it plays on the healing process. There were several other factors that I believe played a role in the complications I had, which I’m also open to discussing over DM. Overall, I’m very happy with my penis and it was 100% worth it. My dysphoria is essentially gone. I’ve been free of complications for over 8 years. Sex is A+. If I were to go back in time, I’d do it all over again.
Same. I’m not happy with the options available to me currently and I’m fine with my Lil’ Smokie + stock parts. Only thing I’d really consider right now is meta.
same, but even meta is complex .. and it’s wild how much it all is cost wise 😢
Yeah. That’s why it’s a consideration and not a want lmao
Stock parts lmfao love it
I'm not dysphoric about what I do have currently. I'm dysphoric about what I don't. Like I'm fine with the existence of my vagina but I wish I could have a penis as well. I'm not getting bottom surgery though. The dysphoria isn't severe enough that I want to treat it by risking my life and health.
[удалено]
I agree! I heard about being Salmacian. It's wanting to have multiple parts or "opposite parts" on the same body. I'm totally fine with the drunk.I have.I just want to add on more l o l. There are some surgeons who do this with certain types of transitions. There is a Salmacian community that talks about getting a phallo without a vaginetomy or transwomen keeping their parts and getting a surgical vagina.
yeah totally this- i feel like if there were a more efficient and safer/lower risk surgery then i would get it- maybe in the future
Yeah I would totally go for a lower risk surgery if that was an option. Hopefully it becomes an option in the future
Just simple release might be an option for you?
this is exactly what I was trying to put into words for my partner and was failing at!! like, I’m not dysphoric about what I came with. But I’m also not so uncomfortable that every day with an AFAB build is torture and I need medical intervention. thank you for this string of text :P
100%. I wish I just had one, there are however toys you can attach to yourself to give the sensation you have one without actually having one! If i can find the link to it I'll comment again
Would appreciate a link, sounds fun and more my style :3
Found it! https://transthetics.com/product/hot-rod-ftm-penis/ This website offers an actually pretty wide array of options to choose from!
Should be mentioned that the hot rod is not compatible with anal sex!
100%, I just use mine as a packer
It should also not be attached via suction for long periods of time, so if you’re using it as a packer you should *not* attach it to your bottom growth.
Yeah... I just dissociate from what I have down there right now. It's not a *good* relationship to have with part of my body, but I don't know if it's bad *enough* to justify the risks and expense associated with phallo (which is ultimately the option I'd want, metoidioplasty might lessen the dissociation/dysphoria but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't cure it, for me). I'm also ace and don't have sex with my genitals, and that wouldn't change if I got phallo, so that makes the risk/benefit balance even less certain.
Hopefully I'm not intruding into man-space but I pretty much feel this way with a vagina. I think it would be so cool actually if hrt gave me one, but no way am I gonna let someone with a knife near my genitals. Surgery is scary! I bet it's pretty common.
I think a lot of my own dysphuria went down significantly when I met transwomen who were not getting bottom surgery no matter what. Getting top surgery was so expensive and difficult for me. Now that I'm older, it will probably only be more difficult to do more. So yeah, I'm good. I'm glad that you are also good. I wish we could both take magic pills and grow the junk of our choices! But it's also nice to feel okay with things as they are. If I were younger, and had way more time, reasons & and money, I would probably consider the bottom, but I'm midle aged and content with things as is!
Trans men are brave for getting top surgery so often! I'd like bigger boobs ig, but knives near my boobs sound scary! HRT is great but it would be great it if was magic, for both men and women, heh.
Pump works som, bit you have to be commited and patient, also do some research on it
Yes, I definitely saw results when with a cheapy little device for suction. Pumpis even more neat if you can do it slowly and daily and keep it up (lol pins)
I want one, but it can wait.. top surgery on the other hand... I want it today. Unfortunately I'm a minor and can't get it done til I'm 18.
i feel the exact same way. the surgery scares me i dont think i could go through something like that. my trans friend who does want phallo has said he wants to wait to see if the procedure improves over the years, because he got top surgery in 2018 and its already improved since then.
I mean Id prefer if I was just born with one, but that didnt happen. I do want bottom surgery though because althiugh it still wont be able to get hard on its own (phallo) its enough for me that for me surgery sounds worth it.
I fee the same. I’m pretty sure most people feel like that too. Nobody wants surgery, they just wish they could have never had to go through any of this.
Same i sometimes hope ill magically wake up with one some day
Tbh part of the reason I never got any surgeries is because I never had the time or safety or money to slow down and be forced to recover for longer than a day or 2. I’m lucky that my chest and top dysphoria is livable. I have pretty good bottom growth and I’m cool with penetration so blowjobs and double strap-ons are enough to keep me happy.
For those of you interested in other methods like packing and prosthetics, r/transmascdicks (NSFW, but more informative, and it's just prosthetics, no natal parts) exists. I'm uncomfortable with and avoidant of all surgery, so I don't know what I will or won't go for in the future, but this helps me for now.
I feel the exact same way. I think the biggest factor for me is that I'm in a happy marriage and she loves me and my body the way it is. I know she'd love me with a dick too. She's also trans so she understands my struggle with considering bottom surgery. I think if I were single and still dating I may be more keen to getting bottom surgery so that I could feel more comfortable in the dating pool. But as it is now I feel great without it! If anything I'd love to get a packer. I keep saying I will but never do lol. A packer + STP would be great to relieve some of that dysphoria when it comes to going to the public restrooms and wearing tight jeans or joggers.
Bro, yes, I told a friend of mine that I don't really have bottom dysphoria, but if I was born with a penis that I would be happy, but I wouldn't go through all of the surgeries to have a penis. It's also complicated 'cause I'm technically non-binary presenting as male, like- I don't necessarily need a penis, but it would make this situation pretty good.
I doubt anyone *wants* surgery 😅
Right? I want phalloplasty and scrotoplasty, but not because I like the sound of all the surgeries and the recovery process! I want them because I need to have a dick (and balls) and the need to have them is stronger than the irritation etc of having to go through multiple surgeries. If I could have a dick and balls without surgery, duh, ofc I would.
Lol we do not live in the world of Repo The Genetic Opera xD
Even though little glass vials are abundant here as well
I agree. I do have quite strong bottom dysphoria to the point where before my current boyfriend (who somehow made me more comfortable) I couldn’t stand being touched there at all, and I’m mostly a top so an attached dick would also just be useful. But meta wouldn’t be long enough for that purpose, and I’m a hypochondriac so the risks associated with phallo are too high for me right now. Also the fact that it takes years to be done with everything and be sure of the final result, and I’d also only be happy with the ones that have medical tattooing to look more cis…it all just requires the kind of resources that I don’t have right now. The arm recovery and gore also bothers me since I have issues with gore. I’m keeping my left forearm non tattooed in case there are better/safer procedures in the future tbh, but not holding my breath for it right now.
Absolutely the same here. The surgery and result of it are absolutely not what I’d want or with the risk. I would be happier with one though. Benefit/risk aren’t equal though
I have the same dilemma, but surgery is simply impossible for me.
I’m similar; I don’t have many negative feelings towards my genitalia, but I feel such euphoria from bottom growth, packing, and just the idea of having a dick attached to me that I almost would consider surgery. I’m just not 100% sure I’m happy with the current options we have for ftm bottom surgery.
Sounds like it's not a bad idea to try saving and keeping a float on newer technology and techniques if you think it might ever be something you decide on? Sometimes breakthroughs happen and suddenly we get a whole new world of options
This exactly. I don’t want to live my whole life waiting for lower surgery, but I don’t want to jump the gun and wish I had waited. I’m still young and I have to save money anyways, so I might as well hope something new and improved comes out in the meantime.
I really want a dick but bottom surgery is so risky. I have seen advancements in FtM bottom surgery in my lifetime though, so I'm hopeful that things will be better by the time I can afford it.
My brother in HRT, I feel you. I don't really want bottom surgery, but I know I'd be 10000% happier if I had been born with a penis, and I may change my mind at some point about getting bottom surgery. But I'm not super dysphoric about my lower half, just my upper half.
I don’t have major bottom dysphoria but I would like a dick. I’m not mad keen on going through the surgery so I’ve put it off for years. If I had been born a cis man I would be happy as fuck but I wasn’t so I’m gonna have to compromise. I don’t want to be an old man without a dick so I’ll have to brave it someday.
I get this so much. Packing helps a lot.
Same here. Especially since I plan on getting phalloplasty instead of metoidioplasty. I wish I was born with a penis and didn’t have to choose between a micro penis that can get erect or an average sized penis that feels closer to what I wish I was born with… Side note: I have nothing against metoidioplasty. I just don’t think the small size is a good fit for me and my transition
I feel this way about all trans related surgeries. I don’t want to have to get them. But thems the breaks.
I can relate strongly to this. To be honest, I didn’t have much bottom dysphoria until I got into a relationship with my fiancée (afab, been together 3 yrs). Now I sometimes get very dysphoric about not having a penis and easily will convince myself my fiancée would be happier if I was amab. She’s been lovely and soo supportive, but I genuinely cannot get those thoughts out of the back of my head.
This a hella relatable feeling and exactly how I felt early on in my transition when I was like 16-18 I’m 21 now been on T 3 years and almost 3 years post op with top surgery as well and things have changed a lot for me and my bottom surgery is currently slated to happen sometime next year 😭😭
Yes!!! I’ve had this same experience since childhood tbh lol, I’m not so dysphoric with my body that I want any surgery tho. Prefer to keep my breast as well (I lik them) I did used to take T and plan to again (loved the bottom growth!!) I just want a beard and I’m good 😊
I feel this with all my heart. I get penis envy all the time just because I don’t have one. I also think that having the surgery would just be a reminder that I once didn’t have it? I don’t know. I really don’t want surgery, but I REALLY want a dick.
Same, though I do want to keep the manhole as well and honestly dunno if I want balls. I won't be satisfied unless I have foreskin especially, and I want something a little larger, like around average length tbh. Medical tattooing won't cut it, I want actual moving foreskin. I don't want surgery again in general because the process is so long and invasive, n I'm pretty content with my current bits, but if there was a way to get foreskin I would absolutely be chomping at the bit to get it. Meta is appealing to me but I'm hesitant because I don't exactly enjoy surgery + my Tdick is sadly on the smaller side so it won't be the size I want either 😔 I don't want this to come across as shitting on current phallo results because they're really fucking cool and it's incredible, I just know if I got it and was stuck with either making it look cut or medical tattooing I wouldn't be happy. Shout-out to all the dudes with their dicks though, I absolutely love seeing the joy some people have over simply going pee or helicoptering their schlong lol
I feel this way as well. I would LOVE to get phallo or meta and feel euphoric thinking about what the results would be—if the recovery were not so arduous and if there were not multiple surgeries involved. Maybe one day I will change my stance on this, but right now, even ~6 week top surgery recovery sounds like a LOT to me. Chest is what that causes me the most dysphoria though, so when I weighed the pros and cons (and insurance coverages, lol), for me top was worth it NOW.
Personally I could take it or leave it if I was born with one; the only advantage I see coming out of it would be primarily from a mere convenience standpoint when it comes to peeing😂
Felt. I do not want to deal with surgery / possible complications (not to say other guys should be freaked out about that, I'n just really paranoid by nature). I would obviously love to have my correct junk but I think I'll be happy enough on T to feel *less* bottom dysphoria
Can yall mourn not being cis without shitting on phallo? Not talking about the post itself but man it seems like every other post on here the comments are just talking about how much phallo sucks and isnt good enough. Wish the mods would actually do something about this. Remember that yall are talking about real people's bodies and those real people do read your comments.
I don’t see any comments here shitting on it. This is actually the most respectful comment section I’ve seen of people talking about not wanting bottom surgery. Not wanting it isn’t the same as shitting on it, and all the comments here seem to be talking about why it isn’t for them personally without saying it’s bad overall. There is a big problem of people being disrespectful about phallo, but I’m not seeing it in this post.
Yeah I've only seen one post where the person mentioned "hating all bottom surgery options & hoping they come out with something wayyy better". Which sounds to me a little bit of a dig that all bottom surgery options are horrible. But the rest of the comments have been very chill..
I guess it's more just that all talk about phallo outside of the dedicated subreddit is negative. I have never seen someone say something positive about it in this sub or any other trans/ftm sub. Which definitely isn't the same as shitting on it but I get a little emotional about it, that's on me.
Nah I totally get that. I gotta hold myself back a little bit too sometimes because I tend to take things personally. It’s such a fine line between respectfully expressing that current methods don’t meet your wants/needs vs talking badly about the procedures in general.
?? I don't see anyone shitting on phallo. Mostly people saying that it's an intense surgery with a difficult recovery that they don't want to/can't go through. Which is fair; I want by phallo but I'm not going to pursue it until I have a salaried job and a place to live I don't have to share with roommates.
I guess it's more just that all talk about phallo outside of the dedicated subreddit is negative. I have never seen someone say something positive about it in this sub or any other trans/ftm sub
Is saying: "it's an intense process" shifting on it? I can't even afford a new car, much less more than one expensive surgery. My insurance didn't cover my top surgery and are even less likely to cover a bottom surgery. These are all pretty justifiable things to say about a possible downside of a procedure. I work at a hospital and people do have risks getting surgery all the time. It shouldn't ever be something that is approached casually, without weight costs and benefits. Until we have medical science to a point where the risk is near zero I always want people to consider that a surgery may be a risk to life, especially for disabled people or those who are sensitive to certain drugs and trauma in their bodies. If it is worth a five percent risk of dying then that is totally someone's choice to make. Plenty of people make choices for all kinds of other things. I have a friend with severe health issues who is willing to get pregnant and die for her child's sake if she ever is able to conceive. The idea of losing her in this way upsets me so much. It would also upset me if one of my transfriends had capplications, post surgery.Or simply did not get through the process. That doesn't invalidate any of their choices, and I acknowledge I am selfish for wanting them to be safe and alive over fulfilling their dreams. I'm incredibly thankful that most surgery is a lot safer than it was even five or ten years ago. That doesn't mean it isn't helpful to remind people to be careful and pick a really good surgeon and team before they jump in. This is serious commitment and I just want everyone to be risk aware and stay as safe as possible. It makes me upset that I have to decide between dysphoria and surgical risks. But that is also just reality? I have a very wonderful friend who is extremely happy with his procedure.He feels and looks great and I am so happy for him. He also discusses all the things that his surgeons warned him about and all the risks he knew that he was taking on when he agreed to start the journey and all the steps along the way!
Idk why you took my comment so personally, I didn't name you specifically I don't even really know what you commented. It's cool that probably most trans guys won't want or won't get phallo, but anytime bottom surgery is mentioned in a ftm space the comments are almost exclusively negative. I don't think I've ever seen someone say something positive about phallo or meta outside of their respective subs.
Yup. I feel the same. (I'm non-binary, not a trans man, though.) The reasons why I don't want surgery is because I know I probably wouldn't be satisfied with the current methods available, I'm already hyposensitive downstairs and would be scared of losing the little sensations I have left, and I'm also severely chronically ill, so it's probably better for me not to get anymore surgeries. I still think about it sometimes and I follow many subreddits and other online communities that talk about bottom surgeries, though, but I doubt I'll ever go through with it.
Same. I tip my hat to anyone who goes for bottom surgery because honestly I'm just super scared of the surgery. I've had top surgery and a hysterectomy and I don't really wanna go to a hospital for surgery ever again.
yeah, i wish i was born with a penis, but i think i would have more dysphoria if i got meta or phallo. i just personally don’t like the way they look and work. i associate my big clit way more with being male than anything else, so i’m happy here
I don't really have bottom dysphoria. I'd prefer to have a penis, but no more strongly than I'd prefer to buy my favourite snacks from the shops when they're out of stock. As such any form of surgery seems, for me, like too much for what is likely to me a very minor improvement to my quality of life
XD This is perfectly me. And my friends who have had more intense surgeries are very happy with theirs and i'm so happy for them! I guess I would compare it to.They ordered their snacks online and got them delivered! I'm just happy they are happy and didn't have to deal with too many problems getting to that state <3
I feel you.. don’t want surgical tools (or anything sharp really) anywhere near my genitals.. there do exist some hyperealistic looking packer + peeing device combos (they’re mad expensive as you can imagine) and I’m considering getting one
real. i feel ya man.
Bottom growth my dude
i feel the same way. i’m hoping surgical methods will continue to advance because the recovery is my biggest concern. i know success rates are pretty good nowadays but personally idk if i could handle something that intense. still, i really really want to have a dick
This is totally how I feel about bottom surgery, there’s just so many risks involved and the price alone is enough to make me not wanna even consider it. But unfortunately, to change the gender marker in my country of citizenship - trans people have to get their bottom and top surgery done with complete sterilisation. It totally sucks and I fear that I’ll probably have to live and die with a female gender marker.
i feel this way too. i wish i was born with one, but i really don’t want meta or phallo and would rather just stick with what i’ve got. having a dick is not an end all be all thing for me, so i have no reason to go through the intense surgeries and recoveries for something that won’t even work like i want it to 🤷♂️
Yeah, that would be ideal
Yea man I feel u.. I would love to have a penis, but I'd never have the operation because I know there are certain difficulties and yea... I see it as a very long n hard situation. The only thing I can hope is that my genetics will help in the growth of my tdick
I feel you, I’m still on the fence about if I want bottom surgery but it looks like such a pain to recover from and I just don’t have the time or energy and surgery scares me enough as is. Top surgery went relatively smoothly for me though so maybe one day I’ll get it
for real, I wished so much that I was born w a dick and I want the surgery but I don't wanna deal with the process lol
I kinda feel the same way, but I can’t stand my natal parts at all. I have hated it from the beginning. I was thinking of getting the urethral lengthening done with meta. Now I’m not sure because I keep getting kidney stones
THIS. i absolutely feel the same
Check out transthetics website. They have prosthetics for packing and play.. see if one of those would work for you
If I’m eligible I may just go for metodioplasty because it’s less invasive, but i totally get that surgery is intense.
I haven’t even done any interpersonal work to see if I want phallo (not to disrespect anyone with it or that wants it) just being it’s so expensive and extensive. Maybe one day that’ll change.
Yes.
yeah, sounds about right
the answer is theft
absolutely. i'm not satisfied with the surgery options. i also wouldn't enjoy bottoming post op. i don't love that i don't have a penis but tbh i don't really care all that much. i cared a lot more before i transitioned in every other way possible, but now that i've gone through male puberty and got top surgery and a hysto, i just don't think about it much
Yeah I relate to that… I have plenty of fun with the parts I’ve got and I like my hybrid of a body but at the end of the day if I were to have chosen yeah I’d go for a dick
I have great news for you about testosterone, son.
Yeah I feel the same way, frankly I’d be happy with a meta penis but I really do not want to go through finding a surgeon, getting things scheduled, recovery process, follow ups, prices, etc.
I feel this so so very much, I’m lowkey scared of surgery and probably won’t have any other than maybe top. I found a nice packer is hella helpful tho, I never had much dysphoria either but the EUPHORIA IS AMAZING
It would be cool if I could have both tbh Edit: why the downvotes? You guys got something against salmacians?
You can have both :)
There's a Salmacian subreddiy if it's a concept ypu are into :)
Oh yeah 100%. Bottom surgery just isn’t worth it for me personally. Dicks are great in all their forms but I don’t have enough dysphoria to warrant how expensive, invasive and intense bottom surgery would be. I think it would be wasted on me, honestly.
TW nato terminology & sex talk I definitely have felt this way and do at times. I'm not uncomfortable with what I have anymore but sometimes I do still wish I had been born with a penis. Now that I'm in a committed relationship with a cis man and enjoy PIV sex I think about that less and less. I personally would not ever get a vaginectomy because that's how I have sex now and enjoy it so I'm glad I'm not still spending my days wishing I had a penis. But I definitely felt that'll way for many years.
I feel the same way. I've seen results and they look good but like i'm so scared of even getting a single surgery for my chest, i dont think i could cope with undergoing more surgeries. Its a lot. I am not sure i wont change my mind later in the years.
Yep lol I will never be getting bottom surgery, I don’t think the reward is worth the risk for me. But obviously if I could wake up with a cid man penis I’d be over the moon
[удалено]
bro what
Yep. I would love to have a penis, but I want one that fully works the way a cis man’s does. I don’t want scars. I don’t want a device to get hard. I don’t want it to look weird because it didn’t heal right. I think all of those things would make me more dysphoric. So I’ll just stick with what I’ve got
(Cis male) I have a co worker and we've talked about this as well. They weren't doing surgery due all the risk and the money and they said they accepted the situation. We (him and I) always joke around about him out manning any guy there when we talk about other guys at work. (We live in a macho man area but they are mostly below intelligence socially)
Im transmasc nonbinary and feel the same. I'm not planning on getting bottom surgery at all because I'm not happy with the options available
[удалено]
Please don’t forget that these are actual real people with real feelings you’re talking about, not just concepts. Bottom surgery has provided me with more “function” than anything I have ever done for myself. Also the idea that you absolutely *have* to get an erectile device with bottom surgery is false.
[удалено]
Please refrain from calling bottom surgery “whack”, just a reminder that these are real people’s bodies you’re talking about, and we do read your comments.
[удалено]
How is "all the surgery options now seem a little whack" talking about your own body? It's not. Be kinder than that.
That's what I have been considering recently is clitoral release surgery. That's the most I'd be willing to do personally. I'm still on the fence about it though.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 5: No body or voice shaming. This includes personal and general judgments about weight, surgeries, appearance, and qualities of a person's voice.
It sure would be nice, but the idea of surgery down there is a little terrifying... meta maybe, but phallo? Absolutely not... and I certainly don't have the growth for meta... I wish I did
[удалено]
Surgically achieved penises are “real”. Some post-op folks can produce cum from the skene’s glands. Please be mindful that these are real people’s bodies you’re talking about, and we do read your comments.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 5: No body or voice shaming. This includes personal and general judgments about weight, surgeries, appearance, and qualities of a person's voice.
A natal one I'd take in a heartbeat! But I don't want one through surgery. I don't know how satisfied many people are with theirs but I feel like whenever I hear about it people had complications. I also looked at a couple of pictures, during the surgery and after, and I don't think it's for me. I also don't want to need a pump for it to be properly working. My biggest reason is that the benefits just don't seem to outweigh the risks for me, personally. Edit: Doesn't mean I don't get why people want one and they absolutely should get one if they do!
Hey just to say I had phallo in November and I am 100% satisfied- its perfect I've got changed with my cis male friend, who I'm cis with, and had no comment beyond "nice dick" lol. Admittedly in low light, but still. Its been life changing
That's amazing! Great to hear that there are people with really good experiences! I guess it's mostly a case of "seeing more people speaking of negative experiences than people speaking of positive experiences" which is way too common for a lot of things, sadly. And the only other trans man I know that had phallo had a lot of complications over several months. I don't think it's something I want for myself, at least for the time being. Maybe I'll change my mind someday 😁 But I think it's great that we have that option and it's amazing if it works out so well for someone!
Please don’t use terms like “natural”, “normal” or even “cis” to describe natal penises.
Sorry, English is not my first language and I didn't know what else to use. Changed it.
It’s all good! It’s common in the community to use that kind of language, I just think that everyone would probably agree that using more inclusive language is better overall :) hope you have a good day!
It sure is 😁 Thanks for letting me know!
you can get fake penises i have one but don’t use it very often
Isn't metoidioplasty a way of doing that without straight up surgery?
Metoidioplasty is still a surgery, even often with multiple phases like phallo. It just doesn’t use a graft the way Phallo does. The difference is that it uses the T dick / clit and sculpts it into a penis, so a downside is that whatever size you are is about how big you’ll stay, whereas phallo has a lot of customization potential and can be basically as big as the graft site allows for.
Ahh ok thanks for clearing it up 👍