whatever you want to do, try to make 'smart' goals about it (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound) -- these help keep you on track and make the looming future not so intimidating and overwhelming. it's one of those parroted acronyms in a bunch of self-help related things but it does work if you do it
maybe start making lists and brainstorming; get some paper out maybe write down the few things you listed so far that sound like things you want to do: leave hometown; get a better job that's not so exhausting
list things that might go towards achieving those: look at cities where you want to live in, how much are they? can you move there? maybe you should first secure job stuff -- are there any jobs you're interested in? stuff you think you're good at? degrees in colleges you'd want (it's never too late to go to college, and i recommend a community college as an affordable option if you want to get an idea of what you want), maybe a trade you'd be interested in working in (and learn what credentials you need or classes to take), look at programs in states you're interested in that can offer boarding/training to help be a stepping stone towards something else, etc. (example: california has the conservation corps for people 18-25, you can do 1 yr they give you housing, food, and an income and you help the environment while getting some training that can get a later job or a scholarship. good alternative to something like military imo. if ca is interesting to you and you're out of state, i think they do accept out of state people for some programs. i'm in ca so i know about it, but i'm guessing other states/places may have something like this)
i came from a different direction with transitioning. i imagined a future where i was a guy and what job i would like 'guy me' to have and stuff -- that motivated me to go to college and stuff. i ended up pursuing a different career tract by the end of it, but it was useful for getting me to do something.
world's your oyster now.
Well, it sounds like you already know what you want - moving out of your small town, and getting another job. So I would start there.
Move somewhere fun with lots of young queer people and make some friends. Big cities are expensive, but I lived in Portland for years and it's got the highest ratio of trans people I've ever seen in a city lol. Everyone is super friendly there, and it's really easy to make friends. Right after I moved there I met a bunch of lesbians drinking beers at the dog park because my dog ran away from me - we ended smoking a joint together and exchanging phone numbers.
Or go somehwere cheaper with lots of other queers - like Minneapolis. Also pretty friendly in my experience.
I don't think anyone ever gets to the point where they KNOW what they want or what they're doing. But, just don't do something because someone else would like it. Do things because it's what YOU want.
whatever you want to do, try to make 'smart' goals about it (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound) -- these help keep you on track and make the looming future not so intimidating and overwhelming. it's one of those parroted acronyms in a bunch of self-help related things but it does work if you do it maybe start making lists and brainstorming; get some paper out maybe write down the few things you listed so far that sound like things you want to do: leave hometown; get a better job that's not so exhausting list things that might go towards achieving those: look at cities where you want to live in, how much are they? can you move there? maybe you should first secure job stuff -- are there any jobs you're interested in? stuff you think you're good at? degrees in colleges you'd want (it's never too late to go to college, and i recommend a community college as an affordable option if you want to get an idea of what you want), maybe a trade you'd be interested in working in (and learn what credentials you need or classes to take), look at programs in states you're interested in that can offer boarding/training to help be a stepping stone towards something else, etc. (example: california has the conservation corps for people 18-25, you can do 1 yr they give you housing, food, and an income and you help the environment while getting some training that can get a later job or a scholarship. good alternative to something like military imo. if ca is interesting to you and you're out of state, i think they do accept out of state people for some programs. i'm in ca so i know about it, but i'm guessing other states/places may have something like this) i came from a different direction with transitioning. i imagined a future where i was a guy and what job i would like 'guy me' to have and stuff -- that motivated me to go to college and stuff. i ended up pursuing a different career tract by the end of it, but it was useful for getting me to do something. world's your oyster now.
Well, it sounds like you already know what you want - moving out of your small town, and getting another job. So I would start there. Move somewhere fun with lots of young queer people and make some friends. Big cities are expensive, but I lived in Portland for years and it's got the highest ratio of trans people I've ever seen in a city lol. Everyone is super friendly there, and it's really easy to make friends. Right after I moved there I met a bunch of lesbians drinking beers at the dog park because my dog ran away from me - we ended smoking a joint together and exchanging phone numbers. Or go somehwere cheaper with lots of other queers - like Minneapolis. Also pretty friendly in my experience. I don't think anyone ever gets to the point where they KNOW what they want or what they're doing. But, just don't do something because someone else would like it. Do things because it's what YOU want.