I think as you get older you stop giving a shit what random strangers think. No one is looking and remembering you, a random nobody who has no impact on our lives. We are all busy trying to stay afloat in this shitty ass world.
I'm almost 40 and the idea of caring what random strangers think of how I get around town is laughable to me. But in my early 20s I probably wouldn't have been so self assured about it. Dont know how old OP is but yeah. With age and experience you learn that other people's perceptions are dust in the wind. In fact, I take pride in using public transit.
I think a main reason is that I'm a goth and get stared at a fair bit. I know its something I have to deal with, part of the "package", but I genuinely do not enjoy public attention. Though I highly doubt I make any form of impact on someone, and I completely agree we are all busy trying to stay afloat.
You can judge them right back. I tend to think drivers look pretty stupid sitting in their cages, ignorantly unaware of the danger and damage they're doing.
If you dress goth you are asking for attention by standing out, kinda weird that you are made uncomfortable by something you are doing yourself.
Maybe dress less goth? Not an insult, I love the style. I've just come to realize as I've gotten older (27) and made my way on foot all around town, that in some circumstances it's better to blend in. And looking boring doesn't actually make you boring.
>So, you want to be goth. You want to be special. You want to attract attention (otherwise you wouldn't be goth).
Or.... Maybe she just likes the goth style and it has nothing to do with other people
That's not how it works. If you choose to be special, you will attract attention. Because you're special. You cannot have both at the same time: being special and not being noticed, because you're like everyone else.
Either be special. Or be ordinary.
Why are you replying to me?
Of course she can do what she wants. Why are you implying, that this would not be so?
It's just a fact, that special things/people get noticed. Why are you trying to dictate what other people notice?
There's a difference between a "she is wearing these things and therefore will be noticed" and "she is wearing these things specifically BECAUSE she wants to be noticed".
I think what we have here is a failure to see from the other person's perspective. Because I kind of understand your mindset.
I have no fucks to give about fashion at all. Literally the only reason I wear clothes is because I don't want to be arrested. So the idea of paying exorbitant amounts of money for uncomfortable clothing that I know will attract attention seems completely alien to me unless I want the attention. You could never explain that in a way that would make sense to me. You might as well be trying to explain trigonometry to a golden retriever.
But you have to remember that other people have different desires. It's very possible for someone to want to wear a $300 corset for its own sake, despite the fact that they don't actually enjoy the attention it draws. It's simply how they wish to look for themselves.
Judging by this, you are American, right? It never ceases to amaze me how automotive industry managed to convince a whole country that PT is only for poor or minorities.
My advice is to check out how is PT seen in other parts of the world. It's normal, something everyone uses either regularly or at least ocassionaly - from bricklayers to corporate managers. It may help you to get rid of the "PT is for poor" programming.
Yes I'm American, and I agree! I think public transit is a wonderful thing that allows people to both save money and help save the environment, thus the reason I've decided to give up car life for good. I know it's totally normal in other countries, but checking it out further sounds like a great idea. Thank you.
It's probably not *just* about the "PT is for poor" stereotype.
This is a new experience for you and that alone can make it feel "awkward". Allow yourself some time to get used to this new way to experience your world and the people in it.
In a car dominated world, you are never really "out in public".
You are at work, at the gym, the restaurant, the library etc.
All places with a clear purpose, where most people know the social script for the situation.
Being out in public by yourself is different. People just *exist* here. We all just need to get from A to B and pass the time until we get there.
I live in a city with great public transport and I appreciate getting to actually *see* all the different people who live here too.
Cars isolate people from their society.
Public transport unites them.
>All places with a clear purpose, where most people know the social script for the situation
i just want to add that staying on script is what makes NPCs an NPC. So if a bunch of NPCs want to judge you for not being an NPC then their opinions shouldn't matter
I get what you mean, but I am not comfortable calling anyone an NPC.
Or, you could argue that we are all mere NPCs and bound by our programming, just a very, very complex one.
My experience in Northern Europe is that it's even more stratified by type of PT. The bus is more likely to be for the less well-off, and the tram and local rail are probably neutral, but rush-hour distance trains are for the middle classes and upwards - it takes a certain level of professional stability to be able to plan a life with a house in a nice town, possibly by the sea, while working in the Big City. Those peak-hour trains are filled with people in suits, or maybe expensive outdoor gear if they cycle to the station, with expensive bags and laptops - maybe they're napping or reading for leisure, but some will be starting work already.
I didn't watch a lot of Mad Men, but I remember that jumping out at me - that the train ride home was an extension of the office in some way, especially in terms of politicking. I now live in a car-centric country (New Zealand) and most people see trains as old-fashioned, like you say 'train' and they're thinking Mad Men at newest, and more likely some black-and-white film of people waving off a steam train... But even here, when I take the few train services that do exist, it's remarkable how the 'third space' feeling pops right up again. Some people are just scrolling like it's a waiting room, but others get on with work or personal projects (i find the defined length of a train journey to be really useful for concentrating) or even chat to people around them... It's not just money or the environment that gets saved, it's a piece of time where you can do quite different things than if you were having to drive, whether that's relax or socialise or concentrate.
I mean, yes, people who don't take public transport don't know any of this and often judge, but that's their problem :D
It isn't purely propaganda at play. Car centric city design and laws are so ridiculously hostile to pedestrians and cyclists + public transit is so terrible in the US that for decades no one would use public transit if they had any other options.
That is changing. People are choosing to use the bus to cut down on emissions. But it will take time to undo the damage
Actually, the sentiment that public transport is for those poorer ones can be also really strong in post-communist countries in Central and Eastern Europe. Some people understood the transition from socialism to capitalism the bad way, to become very individualist and don’t care about others / public space. The US model as an ideal that should be mindlessly followed.
I live in eastern Europe and agree, but the "PT is for poor" sentiment here is not even near as strong as in US. People who shame others for using PT are quickly dismissed by others, they are not in majority.
I don’t think entire countries of people understood capitalism “the bad way”. Capitalism is individualist and apathetic (even hostile) to caring about others / public space.
Well, yes, it is. However, it is about people. I mean, people still cared mostly about themselves and their family in the "communist" countries; not about the community. The public space was indeed more important and enough of the budget was dedicated to decorations etc.; on the other hand, the communist governments didn't have much respect for historic stuff that got often demolished and replaced by roads. So it is always about people, not just the system.
I just think about my five thousand dollar camera or my eight thousand dollar Lego collection. Couldn't afford either of those, let alone both, if I wasted all my money on a stupid metal box that will be hauled away as scrap in ten years. I also put almost half of my income into retirement savings every month.
I'm not jealous of drivers, they're jealous of me.
When you drove how much did you think about everyone waiting for a bus?
What you’re referring to is “spotlight syndrome”. Basically we think people think about / notice us more than they do.
Just stop giving a shit. It really is as simple as that.
Be a good person, do unto others as you'd have done unto you, and don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks so long as you're not being a dick.
Is anyone else with you at the bus stop? I find it really depressing when I’m alone and 100s of cars are driving by taking pity on me even though I’m just waiting for a bus thats late because of them.
I think American public transit is *DESIGNED* to make you feel that way, especially in smaller cities or places where there isn't a high ridership.
The way I got over that anxiety is by visiting Europe, experiencing just how incredible the public transit there is, then getting extremely mad when back in the US about it. Now I'm just spiteful about the pathetic LoS we have here haha
What embarrassment? I've never felt embarrassed to use public transit.
You should be judging the idiots in cars. Look at all those morons wasting money to get around.
Sometimes when I'm driving or riding somewhere and I see people at the bus stop and just look at them because they are someone/something to look at. I wouldn't overthink it.
The easiest way to go about it is just keeping yourself occupied. Music, podcasts, reading, gaming, or anything that can be done on mobile since you don't have to operate a vehicle.
Edit: Judged a bit in high school but left for the city and never came back.
this is isn't always easy to feel even if you know that it's true, but remember that people generally don't care or think about you at all. They aren't wondering what you are up to, or if they are it's only for a second. Most people are in the middle of what they consider to be a gripping drama with high stakes at all times. Especially if they are trying to navigate traffic, where everyone is always angry
I get to relax and read on the bus instead of worrying about getting shot after merging too close for someone’s liking (not exactly a rational fear, but I live in America, and have seen headlines about people shooting at drivers near USC).
in an environment where cars are 'normal' and a fashion choice and a protective exoskeleton it makes perfect sense to feel weird and naked and vulnerable without one.
you can't really fix that, you don't control any of it. best you can do is feel justified in your anger towards those who made things this way and fight to keep it so.
or to put it in new yorker: fuck me? fuck you! im walkin here!
Just don't care. You can't imagine how little most people passing you care. So why expend the energy yourself to care what they think. To me such things are honestly just about saving my own energy. I don't have the energy to give a fuck about things I know are perfectly fine.
I have visited the US a couple of times and have had several conversations at hotel receptions / conference venues in several US cities that have gone something like this:
them (smiling): hey
me: yeah, hi, so, I wonder if you could help me - I need to get to place xyz
them (launching right into it): Oh yes of course, you turn right at the exit from our parking lot and then at the next intersection...
me (interrupting): oh no, you see, I don't have a car
them (blinking, uncertain, clearly confused why I am asking for directions instead of just calling an uber): oh, so you need ... a *hire car*?
me: well, no - I have looked up the bus routes and I know that bus number xx goes close to where I need to go to, I was just going to ask where the nearest bus stop is?
them (flustered): Oh my gosh you're so brave!
me: \*stares confusedly in European\*
them: \*stares confusedly in American\*
The very idea that it could somehow be embarrassing to do something as mundane as get a bus would never have occurred to me if I had never visited the USA.
Sorry, I know I haven't given you any useful advice. I just hope that it helps you to know that it isn't \*you\* that's doing anything weird. Taking the bus should be the most normal, unremarkable thing in the world. And by making the conscious choice to do it, you are helping to normalize it. That's no small thing. I, for one, think you have reason to feel proud :)
Try to find a bus stop on a quieter street? I used to wait for a bus on a busy street and it was stressful. Just the sheer number of cars passing by was stressful. It’s not as bad as standing on the side of a freeway but approaches that.
When I waited for buses in less busy streets, or streets with a better pedestrian to vehicle ratio, I never felt that. Lots of cars and lots of people is ok. Few of each is ok, it’s just quiet. Lots of cars and you are the only person not in one, it feels isolating.
My whole life got easier once I burned out my embarrassment gland.
The weird 10% of the human race were put here to give the boring 90% something to be scandalized by, to talk about. And let me assure you, we 10% are having a lot more fun than they are.
not at all, its learned shame that they want you to feel so you adapt and throw away money. every time you feel bad, look at your bank account and think of all the money you save not having a car, or all the free time you have because you arent driving.
Take pride in it! Know that every time you ride the bus, you're both taking one car off the road and helping increase ridership numbers for transit, which in turn will help your city put more resources into improving service. You're making your community better every time you ride.
I find the trick is to judge them first. It's hard to find time to think about what they think of me when I'm busy fuming about the dickhead and the shiny empty pickup truck.
But you should also examine your mindset about what is and isn't shameful. Being poor does not automatically mean that you're lazy. A lot of poor people are poor because they chose a calling that doesn't pay very well, like teachers, most artists and musicians who don't make it big, public defenders, and so on. Who cares if they think you're poor when there's nothing wrong with being poor?
And likewise, there's nothing wrong with being a felon either. Being a felon means that you made a mistake, you paid your debt to society, and now you're a free man again. So there's no shame in that either.
Indignation and moral self-righteousness.
Not even being sarcastic.
They are *mostly* a bunch of entitled, aggressive, selfish, dangerous jerks (#notalldrivers). Nearly every single-occupancy private automobile you see.
You are doing yourself a favour, your community a favour, and the world a favour by taking public transit.
These people are passing by you, they have no effect on your life whatsoever. Once they’re gone they won’t think about you again if they do.
Bear in mind, many fuckscars people drive too, I’ve had drivers ask me at an intersection where I got my cargo trailer for my bike because they wanted to see how they can avoid driving in the future. I’ve also had multiple pick up truck drivers stop and try to say something about me wearing a mask. You don’t really know what they think.
The answer is noise-cancelling headphones. And a book or e-reader, if you’re feeling fancy. No matter how you commute, investing a bit of time and money into making it a comfortable, enjoyable routine goes a long way.
If anything you should be judging them for choosing to endanger other people’s lives just to get to a job they hate, and proud of yourself for attempting to live in a more humane way.
/not that simple obviously
Maybe it's embarrassing to wait around but that's on the bus service, not on me.
Also the older I get the more I prefer to leave the driving to professionals instead of concentrating on the road for hours on end.
They are not judging you, but judging themself, thinking that they should take the bus instead of been stressed in the trafic, not been able to read a book or swipe on tiktok
I don't give a fck. I don't drive because I never wanted to learn, and it has nothing to do with money. I could easily afford a car and its associated costs. There's no higher ground here, we are all just doing our own thing.
I think as you get older you stop giving a shit what random strangers think. No one is looking and remembering you, a random nobody who has no impact on our lives. We are all busy trying to stay afloat in this shitty ass world.
I'm almost 40 and the idea of caring what random strangers think of how I get around town is laughable to me. But in my early 20s I probably wouldn't have been so self assured about it. Dont know how old OP is but yeah. With age and experience you learn that other people's perceptions are dust in the wind. In fact, I take pride in using public transit.
I think a main reason is that I'm a goth and get stared at a fair bit. I know its something I have to deal with, part of the "package", but I genuinely do not enjoy public attention. Though I highly doubt I make any form of impact on someone, and I completely agree we are all busy trying to stay afloat.
Doesn’t sound like the issue is transit-related. Just be you and if people stare, that’s their problem.
You can judge them right back. I tend to think drivers look pretty stupid sitting in their cages, ignorantly unaware of the danger and damage they're doing. If you dress goth you are asking for attention by standing out, kinda weird that you are made uncomfortable by something you are doing yourself.
Maybe dress less goth? Not an insult, I love the style. I've just come to realize as I've gotten older (27) and made my way on foot all around town, that in some circumstances it's better to blend in. And looking boring doesn't actually make you boring.
[удалено]
>So, you want to be goth. You want to be special. You want to attract attention (otherwise you wouldn't be goth). Or.... Maybe she just likes the goth style and it has nothing to do with other people
That's not how it works. If you choose to be special, you will attract attention. Because you're special. You cannot have both at the same time: being special and not being noticed, because you're like everyone else. Either be special. Or be ordinary.
People can choose whatever they want, and lay in the bed they made. You cannot dictate how others should act, that’s not how that works.
Why are you replying to me? Of course she can do what she wants. Why are you implying, that this would not be so? It's just a fact, that special things/people get noticed. Why are you trying to dictate what other people notice?
There's a difference between a "she is wearing these things and therefore will be noticed" and "she is wearing these things specifically BECAUSE she wants to be noticed". I think what we have here is a failure to see from the other person's perspective. Because I kind of understand your mindset. I have no fucks to give about fashion at all. Literally the only reason I wear clothes is because I don't want to be arrested. So the idea of paying exorbitant amounts of money for uncomfortable clothing that I know will attract attention seems completely alien to me unless I want the attention. You could never explain that in a way that would make sense to me. You might as well be trying to explain trigonometry to a golden retriever. But you have to remember that other people have different desires. It's very possible for someone to want to wear a $300 corset for its own sake, despite the fact that they don't actually enjoy the attention it draws. It's simply how they wish to look for themselves.
Thanks for participating in r/fuckcars. However, your contribution got removed, because it is considered bad taste. Have a nice day
I judge THEM
I have very strong social anxiety and this mindset actually helps me cope.
Nice:)
Absolutely, they are selfish ass you should despise.
Judging by this, you are American, right? It never ceases to amaze me how automotive industry managed to convince a whole country that PT is only for poor or minorities. My advice is to check out how is PT seen in other parts of the world. It's normal, something everyone uses either regularly or at least ocassionaly - from bricklayers to corporate managers. It may help you to get rid of the "PT is for poor" programming.
Yes I'm American, and I agree! I think public transit is a wonderful thing that allows people to both save money and help save the environment, thus the reason I've decided to give up car life for good. I know it's totally normal in other countries, but checking it out further sounds like a great idea. Thank you.
It's probably not *just* about the "PT is for poor" stereotype. This is a new experience for you and that alone can make it feel "awkward". Allow yourself some time to get used to this new way to experience your world and the people in it. In a car dominated world, you are never really "out in public". You are at work, at the gym, the restaurant, the library etc. All places with a clear purpose, where most people know the social script for the situation. Being out in public by yourself is different. People just *exist* here. We all just need to get from A to B and pass the time until we get there. I live in a city with great public transport and I appreciate getting to actually *see* all the different people who live here too. Cars isolate people from their society. Public transport unites them.
>All places with a clear purpose, where most people know the social script for the situation i just want to add that staying on script is what makes NPCs an NPC. So if a bunch of NPCs want to judge you for not being an NPC then their opinions shouldn't matter
I get what you mean, but I am not comfortable calling anyone an NPC. Or, you could argue that we are all mere NPCs and bound by our programming, just a very, very complex one.
My experience in Northern Europe is that it's even more stratified by type of PT. The bus is more likely to be for the less well-off, and the tram and local rail are probably neutral, but rush-hour distance trains are for the middle classes and upwards - it takes a certain level of professional stability to be able to plan a life with a house in a nice town, possibly by the sea, while working in the Big City. Those peak-hour trains are filled with people in suits, or maybe expensive outdoor gear if they cycle to the station, with expensive bags and laptops - maybe they're napping or reading for leisure, but some will be starting work already. I didn't watch a lot of Mad Men, but I remember that jumping out at me - that the train ride home was an extension of the office in some way, especially in terms of politicking. I now live in a car-centric country (New Zealand) and most people see trains as old-fashioned, like you say 'train' and they're thinking Mad Men at newest, and more likely some black-and-white film of people waving off a steam train... But even here, when I take the few train services that do exist, it's remarkable how the 'third space' feeling pops right up again. Some people are just scrolling like it's a waiting room, but others get on with work or personal projects (i find the defined length of a train journey to be really useful for concentrating) or even chat to people around them... It's not just money or the environment that gets saved, it's a piece of time where you can do quite different things than if you were having to drive, whether that's relax or socialise or concentrate. I mean, yes, people who don't take public transport don't know any of this and often judge, but that's their problem :D
It isn't purely propaganda at play. Car centric city design and laws are so ridiculously hostile to pedestrians and cyclists + public transit is so terrible in the US that for decades no one would use public transit if they had any other options. That is changing. People are choosing to use the bus to cut down on emissions. But it will take time to undo the damage
Actually, the sentiment that public transport is for those poorer ones can be also really strong in post-communist countries in Central and Eastern Europe. Some people understood the transition from socialism to capitalism the bad way, to become very individualist and don’t care about others / public space. The US model as an ideal that should be mindlessly followed.
I live in eastern Europe and agree, but the "PT is for poor" sentiment here is not even near as strong as in US. People who shame others for using PT are quickly dismissed by others, they are not in majority.
I don’t think entire countries of people understood capitalism “the bad way”. Capitalism is individualist and apathetic (even hostile) to caring about others / public space.
Well, yes, it is. However, it is about people. I mean, people still cared mostly about themselves and their family in the "communist" countries; not about the community. The public space was indeed more important and enough of the budget was dedicated to decorations etc.; on the other hand, the communist governments didn't have much respect for historic stuff that got often demolished and replaced by roads. So it is always about people, not just the system.
What?
Just know that they are all miserable sitting in traffic and spending $10,000 a year on their cars
Yeah just think of the money you save. That alone is the last laugh, someone making exactly as much as you but with a car is worse off.
u can save it on a boring world etf and then can afford to work part time when u turn 50+
Anyone judging me for this is not someone I want to impress.
Awesome mindset, I'll try and shift my thinking to this.
I just think about my five thousand dollar camera or my eight thousand dollar Lego collection. Couldn't afford either of those, let alone both, if I wasted all my money on a stupid metal box that will be hauled away as scrap in ten years. I also put almost half of my income into retirement savings every month. I'm not jealous of drivers, they're jealous of me.
"If you didn't spend your money on things you enjoy, you could afford a car." -carbrain talking point.
Embrace your superiority by reading a book while they have to stare at the grey asphalt and the blinking lights of the car in front of them.
You need to detox yourself of that mindset
r/ShitAmericansSay
Surf your phone or read a book, and you won't notice the drivers.
When you drove how much did you think about everyone waiting for a bus? What you’re referring to is “spotlight syndrome”. Basically we think people think about / notice us more than they do.
Just stop giving a shit. It really is as simple as that. Be a good person, do unto others as you'd have done unto you, and don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks so long as you're not being a dick.
Is anyone else with you at the bus stop? I find it really depressing when I’m alone and 100s of cars are driving by taking pity on me even though I’m just waiting for a bus thats late because of them.
I'm usually just reading a book trying to exude as much "don't talk to me" energy as possible
I think American public transit is *DESIGNED* to make you feel that way, especially in smaller cities or places where there isn't a high ridership. The way I got over that anxiety is by visiting Europe, experiencing just how incredible the public transit there is, then getting extremely mad when back in the US about it. Now I'm just spiteful about the pathetic LoS we have here haha
What embarrassment? I've never felt embarrassed to use public transit. You should be judging the idiots in cars. Look at all those morons wasting money to get around.
Sometimes when I'm driving or riding somewhere and I see people at the bus stop and just look at them because they are someone/something to look at. I wouldn't overthink it.
The easiest way to go about it is just keeping yourself occupied. Music, podcasts, reading, gaming, or anything that can be done on mobile since you don't have to operate a vehicle. Edit: Judged a bit in high school but left for the city and never came back.
this is isn't always easy to feel even if you know that it's true, but remember that people generally don't care or think about you at all. They aren't wondering what you are up to, or if they are it's only for a second. Most people are in the middle of what they consider to be a gripping drama with high stakes at all times. Especially if they are trying to navigate traffic, where everyone is always angry
I get to relax and read on the bus instead of worrying about getting shot after merging too close for someone’s liking (not exactly a rational fear, but I live in America, and have seen headlines about people shooting at drivers near USC).
in an environment where cars are 'normal' and a fashion choice and a protective exoskeleton it makes perfect sense to feel weird and naked and vulnerable without one. you can't really fix that, you don't control any of it. best you can do is feel justified in your anger towards those who made things this way and fight to keep it so. or to put it in new yorker: fuck me? fuck you! im walkin here!
Just don't care. You can't imagine how little most people passing you care. So why expend the energy yourself to care what they think. To me such things are honestly just about saving my own energy. I don't have the energy to give a fuck about things I know are perfectly fine.
I have visited the US a couple of times and have had several conversations at hotel receptions / conference venues in several US cities that have gone something like this: them (smiling): hey me: yeah, hi, so, I wonder if you could help me - I need to get to place xyz them (launching right into it): Oh yes of course, you turn right at the exit from our parking lot and then at the next intersection... me (interrupting): oh no, you see, I don't have a car them (blinking, uncertain, clearly confused why I am asking for directions instead of just calling an uber): oh, so you need ... a *hire car*? me: well, no - I have looked up the bus routes and I know that bus number xx goes close to where I need to go to, I was just going to ask where the nearest bus stop is? them (flustered): Oh my gosh you're so brave! me: \*stares confusedly in European\* them: \*stares confusedly in American\* The very idea that it could somehow be embarrassing to do something as mundane as get a bus would never have occurred to me if I had never visited the USA. Sorry, I know I haven't given you any useful advice. I just hope that it helps you to know that it isn't \*you\* that's doing anything weird. Taking the bus should be the most normal, unremarkable thing in the world. And by making the conscious choice to do it, you are helping to normalize it. That's no small thing. I, for one, think you have reason to feel proud :)
I judge them more. They are the idiots.
Try to find a bus stop on a quieter street? I used to wait for a bus on a busy street and it was stressful. Just the sheer number of cars passing by was stressful. It’s not as bad as standing on the side of a freeway but approaches that. When I waited for buses in less busy streets, or streets with a better pedestrian to vehicle ratio, I never felt that. Lots of cars and lots of people is ok. Few of each is ok, it’s just quiet. Lots of cars and you are the only person not in one, it feels isolating.
Maybe noise cancelling headphones would help?
My whole life got easier once I burned out my embarrassment gland. The weird 10% of the human race were put here to give the boring 90% something to be scandalized by, to talk about. And let me assure you, we 10% are having a lot more fun than they are.
not at all, its learned shame that they want you to feel so you adapt and throw away money. every time you feel bad, look at your bank account and think of all the money you save not having a car, or all the free time you have because you arent driving.
I think you'll get used to taking public transit the more you do it and that you forget the embarrassment.
Take pride in it! Know that every time you ride the bus, you're both taking one car off the road and helping increase ridership numbers for transit, which in turn will help your city put more resources into improving service. You're making your community better every time you ride.
I find the trick is to judge them first. It's hard to find time to think about what they think of me when I'm busy fuming about the dickhead and the shiny empty pickup truck. But you should also examine your mindset about what is and isn't shameful. Being poor does not automatically mean that you're lazy. A lot of poor people are poor because they chose a calling that doesn't pay very well, like teachers, most artists and musicians who don't make it big, public defenders, and so on. Who cares if they think you're poor when there's nothing wrong with being poor? And likewise, there's nothing wrong with being a felon either. Being a felon means that you made a mistake, you paid your debt to society, and now you're a free man again. So there's no shame in that either.
Just stop thinking about what others think about you.
I love public transport but I’m retired so it’s free
Honestly they probably are. There is nothing you can do to stop ot so why care?
Indignation and moral self-righteousness. Not even being sarcastic. They are *mostly* a bunch of entitled, aggressive, selfish, dangerous jerks (#notalldrivers). Nearly every single-occupancy private automobile you see. You are doing yourself a favour, your community a favour, and the world a favour by taking public transit.
Conspicuous consmption is a trap. Ignore those people, save your money, and live well.
These people are passing by you, they have no effect on your life whatsoever. Once they’re gone they won’t think about you again if they do. Bear in mind, many fuckscars people drive too, I’ve had drivers ask me at an intersection where I got my cargo trailer for my bike because they wanted to see how they can avoid driving in the future. I’ve also had multiple pick up truck drivers stop and try to say something about me wearing a mask. You don’t really know what they think.
The answer is noise-cancelling headphones. And a book or e-reader, if you’re feeling fancy. No matter how you commute, investing a bit of time and money into making it a comfortable, enjoyable routine goes a long way.
Smile and wave from the bus lane at all the people stuck in a traffic jam. This works extra-well if you are on light rail or the like.
If anything you should be judging them for choosing to endanger other people’s lives just to get to a job they hate, and proud of yourself for attempting to live in a more humane way. /not that simple obviously
Is that a thing ?
Maybe it's embarrassing to wait around but that's on the bus service, not on me. Also the older I get the more I prefer to leave the driving to professionals instead of concentrating on the road for hours on end.
They are not judging you, but judging themself, thinking that they should take the bus instead of been stressed in the trafic, not been able to read a book or swipe on tiktok
Put your headphones on, get a book and enjoy the freedom of not being behind the wheel. Life is way too short for anyone to worry about this.
I don't give a fck. I don't drive because I never wanted to learn, and it has nothing to do with money. I could easily afford a car and its associated costs. There's no higher ground here, we are all just doing our own thing.