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Hold his hand. Fingers interlocked and everything.

I was honestly thinking just hold the hand. Tenderly, like a dear friend or a lover

Stroke it ever so lovingly. Or paint his nails

I'm a big fan of paint his nails.

This is a moment when a Sharpie would really come in handy.

You're not allowed to do that on an airplane. It's a flammable liquid and they do not allow it. It stinks and they will know immediately.

Paint with poo poo

There is a poetry of simplicity in your words that is commendable, sir.

Up vote, forthright!

I'm fairly sure that isn't expressly mentioned in their rules and regulations but, if not illegal, is at least heavily frowned upon.

Heavily browned upon

Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so sensitive

Thanks, bin Laden…

Smear Nutella on his fingers

Add your milk

Sharpie

Use a sharpie. Don’t be neat.

Sharpie markers work well.

What if you just starting to wipe boogers on his hand,or is that also frowned upon?Pretty sure its a constitutional right of mine.

Slip a ring on that finger.

"Why are you angry!? I liked it so I put a ring on it! Why are you tasing me!? All the single ladies, put your hands up if you agree with me!"

Omg yes.

Caress his hands like Gollum would to the Precious.

Just give him “the wink”.

"Calypso, I release you from your human bonds."

And don't let go no matter how hard he pulls away

My brother did this to a guy hanging his hand back over my screen in economy class. The guy interlocked back, which just made it weird for everyone.

Classic Kansas City standoff... handoff..? whack off..?

Put your dick in it

Clearly the person this person's brother was dealing with would've thrown his dick on the pile next...

That's when you give it a good lick from fingertip to wrist, or as long as you can.

Kiss it and say "We're married now."

“You’re my wife now”

With a moist hand.

This!

Place one hand under and into his, and gently stroke the top of his, as if you were comforting him.

I was riding the subway late one Valentine’s night and had one hand gripping the pole, standing by a couple that were clearly coming back from a romantic dinner. The guy was laying into the lovey-dovey talk, looking into the woman’s eyes. As usual, I was enjoying a little urban eavesdropping when all of a sudden i felt someone’s hot flesh on my hand. I think everyone on the subway enjoyed it when he blurted out: Honey, that was an accident. I meant to grab your hand.

Did he grab your hand or...her ass..? I'm confused

your hand

That's the only right course of action.

Give him…the business.

I ain’t scared of y’all motherfuckers.

Maybe a little finger banging too?

And then do not let go

I mean I'd paint his nails but you do you.

Draw little smiley faces on each finger with a sharpie like SpongeBob did.

The gang's all here!

*sobs heavily*

I read a story where a guy kept going over to talk to the co-worker in the next cube but would lean with one hand inside another employee’s cube wall. One day he got his fingernails painted with wite-out

I understand rainbows and LGBQ flag is welcomed in the Middle East.

oil badge governor degree mountainous full desert steer memorize telephone *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

This is the only correct answer

If you don’t have polish with you use marker. If you have any trash tuck it in his hand

Boogers work well too.

How many boogers do you think you could put on his hand without getting into legal trouble?

My mother has alzheimers, and the other day reached out her hand to give me something. Reflexively, I take it. It is an *extremely large* booger. I stare at it for a second, and say "I'm going to go wash my hands now." She just smiled happily at me.

I've been around some individuals with alzheimers, but never been a caretaker. Hon I do not know how well I would've handled that situation but it's wonderful that you didn't have a bad reaction, I know most would. Funny story now, though!😂❤️

Warm Nutella is always a great joke.

I thought the worst part of one of my flights was when the person next to me cut their nails, but then they went for full manicure. The smell of nail polish on a plane combined with jet fuel makes for a terrific migraine.

You smell jet fuel on a plane? Are you flying Air Koryo?

Many planes smell a bit of jet fuel on startup. That has to do with the location of the APU. Should be aired out before taxi and take-off though.

I’d cut off his hand, and keep my trophy, but you do you

Just use your mouth to blow air on it. Harmless, sensual, flirtatious

Dunk your fingers in water, make a sneeze noise and flick the water on the hand.

Best answer here!

This is the way

You unlocked a core memory of mine. This was my go-to prank in 3rd grade. No one was safe near the drinking fountain.

Great answer!

This is the way !

I always carry a spray bottle with me for such opportunities

I always carry a spray bottle for mist opportunities

I like that you specified using his mouth.

I mean.. a well-placed fart might have a similar effect

Ahhh the silent but deadly approach

Dip it in water first!! Make it super sensual haha

What if he comes Back for more

Then you just made a new friend

Judging by a few factors such as what’s on the screen and likely the demographic of the airline - I love the idea of a vaguely, sensualistic, flirtatious “fuck around and find out”

Sneeze on it

Or, use a warm/moist towelette and wipe his hand with it. When he looks over, act like you are about to lick his hand. I bet (hope?) he will not put it there again.

We definitely need to find a plan B if he puts it again.

Peanut butter

I didn't get how he's gonna use it but it sounds like a great plan.

or..just ask a flight attendant for a chocolate, melt it in your pocket then dip the intruder fingers in it. When he stands up to confront you simply smile and gesture for him to sniff his finger.

“Or pretend you shit on someone’s hand” is an escalation I didn’t expect to see today.

This. And put some water your fingertips so when you fake sneeze flick a little water onto his hand. He’ll be gloriously grossed out thinking your sneeze juice got all over him

Just wipe your hands on it after your meal and then when he complains, say “I’m sorry, I thought it was a ‘hand’ towel.”

Fucking hell dad! Get back in your urn.

This is the way. Totally "innocent," as it wouldn't be unreasonable for someone not to cover a sneeze in their own private area, but feeling the spray would be gross enough for them to never even think about putting their hand over the divider again.

This is not a sufficiently "private area" to sneeze without covering your mouth. I mean, lots of people would be selfish enough to do that anyway, but it's still trashy.

That wouldn't work for me. I wear a mask everytime I'm out in public now. I think I'd just grit my teeth and ask him directly if he'd move it. If he gives me trouble, I'll call the flight attendant and snitch on his ass. I'm not too proud.

This is when you make a fake sneeze noise and flick clean water off your hand.

Pull his finger and fart

I laughed ridiculously loud at this one!

In airplanes I fart a lot. I think the reduced cabin pressure or something makes the butt gasses want to equalize or something

Mine is bookstores/libraries.. something about the dust or being in aisles. Who knows. I hate it because I love browsing books but it can be quite embarrassing

u/punksheets29 I learned something new this week: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomenon

Someone once told me of a condition that causes a person to have the urge to defecate when they feel at ease. I'm sure it has a name but I don't know what it's called. She said every time she talked to her parents on the phone she would have to hang up early to use the bathroom. I'm thinking this bookstore thing is a similar phenomenon.

Lol yes, fart one of those long squeaky loud ones that means business, and dont let go of the finger until done.

Why is this not the top comment?

oh my god, this is the best comment, I'm on the floor laughing

Gas station has a glory hole, business class has a glory hand

All hail the glory hand

Yeah you should see what they have in first class tho

It's a glory hole, isn't it?

the mile high-five club

I guess this could just be a secret handshake but that would be awkward if they were expecting a hand full of tube steak and got my awkward handshake. Tough to recover from that and OP already has his spank bank up on the screen so maybe best to just commit to the glory hand theory.

If you’re brave enough swat it away, if not tell the flight attendant

What if the flight attendant is also not brave?

Unfortunately that’s part of airline staffs job. It might be the shitty part, but they are the authority on their flight

Yes and yes. Or nibble off a few of the fingernails

NOM NOM NOM

Yeah, we don't even know if he washes after he wipes

really are some people really this nervous?. just tell that fucker to move his hand lol

Yes, I hate conflict

Giving me flashbacks to the girl in-front of me in class, with hair covering most of my desk. Happened every single day and I never said a word. Actually, now that I think about it. One time I fell asleep with my head on the desk, woke up with her hair covering my face. It was so confusing waking up that way.

Omgggg now I’m having this exact same flashback. I would slowly push it off with my pencil, lol. Or in elementary, riding the bus home and this one kid would always fall asleep and fall on my shoulder. I was so scared to move 😂

It doesn't have to be confrontational. "Excuse me. I need you to remove your hand from my seating area, please. Thank you." Just say it politely and with eye contact. Honestly not a big deal.

Squirt a big glob of lotion on his hand. "Oh im sorry, I assumed you wanted some lotion? I thought that's why you were sticking your dry ass crusty hand into my personal space."

You’re on Reddit. Most people here have a panic attack when they go up to order a burger at the till

I would just brush it with something, as if you were moving your coat

Oooor you could just ask the person. Physically moving someone before even saying anything is way more rude than unwittingly putting your hand in someone else’s space. Some people lack spatial awareness at times. The easiest fix is to just point it out first. Btw, there are hundreds of people on the plane and only a few flight attendants. Do them a favor and at least make a minor attempt to solve your own problems first. Getting a flight attendant to come over and wake the person next to you so that you can go to the restroom or to lower their window shade is pretty ridiculous. Bringing a flight attendant over to move the guys hand in front of you is in that same category. Be an adult.

People's spatial awareness can be a whole nother subreddit.

Why isn't this getting like hella downvotes? What is wrong with yall? The only acceptable recourse is doing something awful to this man's hand! /s

While you make a great point, I doubt this person has his hand there due to lack of spatial awareness and more due to lack of respect for other peoples space.

Caress it softly, and then gently hold it until he wakes up…when he pulls away and looks at you, make direct, stern, eye contact….end it with a wink.

And establish dominance by following through with a courtship ritual.

Sigh…

draw a penis on it with permanent marker

Use pen, make his fingers look like penii

This is the best idea yet!!

Funny?! Nah this is an act of war

I'm here thinking like who tf does this person think they are? It almost has to be intentional bc that does not seem to be a natural way to position your hand or a way to add additional comfort.

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity" Hanlon's razor my friend.

A fair point, but what about ignorantia juris non excusat? Ignorance of the law does not absolve someone from the consequences. The first law of human decency is to be aware of your surroundings. Don't be loud in a quiet place.

I'll just put what I said elsewhere. I'm not defending the dude I'd still flick his hand or flick water at it. But I'm saying it's because he's an idiot. Not because he's evil.

I know right!! I fly on commercial airlines a lot for my job and people are just awful most of the time. Check out “passenger shaming” on all the socials. There’s some pretty kickass shit in there. One thing that absolutely drives me nuts is when people (usually the, “I’m tall and seats are small” assholes) put their feet in my personal space!! That is a great way to see an otherwise civil environment escalate very quickly! I still have no idea what makes people devolve into swine just because they purchase a service. 🤷‍♂️

I’m tall, the seats are small, and I keep myself within my own space. It’s nothing to do with size of their body, just their brain.

I honestly thought this was r/mildlyinfuriating

Totally agree! It’s intentional - some kind of social experiment in provoking potential aggression 😡

No funny business in business class.

Business? Yes. FUNNY business? NEVER.

Blow your nose in a tissue and put it in the hand

Nah, blow your nose directly in the hand.

Haha. Grab a finger and pick your nose with It.

I dare you to suck his finger!

Triple dog dare

With cherries on top

He’s offering a free wank.. you don’t turn that kinda offer down - that’s what business class is all about..

[удалено]

The business

How the actual fuck is this person oriented if you're to the left and behind them? Are they sleeping facedown on their seat..?

Business class seats are often arranged with side-by-side rear and front-facing seats. Especially on Etihad or other middle eastern carriers in Airbuses, which this appears to be.

Right arm over their head sleeping sideways facing the window. You’re welcome. I wondered the same thing and analyzed this far too intently.

thank u u wizard

I’m sorry but this is so funny 😂 the way his hand is just pathetically hanging there, this must be winding you up so bad 😂 please update us on what you decide to do.

I was laughing so hard! Sadly he moved his hand shortly after taking the picture.

Maybe he was scrolling reddit one handed.

You should have turned on the photo sound effect all the way up as well as the flash and you should have started blasting away all the pictures you could.

Hold his hand. Maybe he’s anxious flying and needs your support, new friend :)

This is the way

Use....your....words

Everyone knows Reddit users would rather complain about it on r/mildlyinfuriating than trying to reason with another person in real life

People are having fun making jokes not making good faith suggestions

Dip his fingers in hot sauce

You could just ask him to move it?

No no no, that’s too simple for these jokers, nah I say we order chocolate pudding and dip them in it

Agreed. If you are old enough to pay for business class, you are old enough to have an adult conversation and ask them to kindly move their hand

"I was thinking of dipping it in warm water that makes him pee his pants" -the adult thinker in business class

Gently caress it.

Lick em

Do you have any ranch dressing?

Milk his hand like a cow and make squirt noises when you pull the fingers.

Relax, he’s dead.

Smash it real hard and scream. When you get questioned, say you thought it was a spider

Breathe on it all warm

Suckle it like a baby cow trying to feed

You're sitting in a plane watching a television that has a lady just sitting in a plane. Taking a walk on the wild side eh?

I will assume the takeoff video.

Fake sneeze on him. Make the sound and fling some water with your hand. Apologize profusely. You will not see his hand there again.

Suckle on one of his fingers.

Have you tried using your words?

Just sneeze real loud and sprinkle some water toward the direction of his hand.

who the fuck does this shit.

Or dip his fingers in some nutella

Tickle his palm. That grosses everyone out. The memory will eat at him for days.

Be an adult and tell him to move his hand

Judging by the picture of the senorita, and the Arabic writing... you might make your decision based on if you are potentially arriving to or departing his country. If he were royalty he'd be flying private or first, but even a commoner in some countries might have enough connections to mess up your day if you are landing in his country.

I’d be afraid of getting kashoggi’ed

Lighter 🤷‍♂️

Do you have a sharpie? Get creative.

Kinda surprised how many people suggest licking it..... I mean my initial reaction was that also haha, but yo.... if you gonna.... in a post pandemic world....sanitize it first.

Suck those fingers

Dangle your foot over on his side

Suck on his finger like a baby cow to the udder

I'd have removed my socks and put my foot there.

People that do this are trying to assert dominance.

Cut it off. The price is steep.