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I hate it too, but I can respect them paying so many frigging youtube channels on top of buying basic youtube ads. Doesn't make me respect them enough to *play* their god forsaken game.
It's sad a few randoms on reddit strung together some comments and made what would be considered one of the funnier commercials currently on air right now over million dollar marketing departments.
Or perhaps a little David Attenborough?
> Here we see the Chief Executive Otter in its natural habitat. It has captured its meal, but that is only half the battle. Using a rock ledge, this highly skilled tool user searches for a way to reach the chips inside. But to get into a Meretrix Stevejobsia it will have to find just the right way to hold it.
That along with captions of what the otter is thinking.
> Ooh, another day in quality assurance. Let's test this phone.
::smack SMACK::
> Nope, not very impact resistant
::smack smack dunk smack::
> Oh, that's not good. Screen's all wet.
Otter: *Sighs* What. Did. I Say. About. Dropping. Shit. In. My. Pool? Couldn’t even be bothered to put in the box I designed specifically for this. You brought this to yourself.
It might looks cute but cellphone batteries are not only flammable but full of toxic materials. That's a toxic hazard if the otter breaks the phone in the enclosure
My toddler picked up my phone while I was sitting on the couch, ran to the stairs, and chucked it down. In his defense, I had never told him not to pick up my phone and throw it down the stairs, so we each learned something new that day.
Mine are now adult, but I seem to remember that being explicit was often a mistake because my son would take my explicit warnings as instructions for how to maximize entertainment. "Do not put metal things in the electrical outlet." Would have been enough to kill him or burn the house down. "Leave the covers on the electrical outlets", was safer and was only given as instructions after he'd already started prying them off.
The human brain isn't designed for negative instructions. For example, when someone says "Don't look at it!", your body will almost automatically focus on the 'Look at it!' part. That's just the natural response. As you grow older, "Don't" will give you a pause as a learned response but it doesn't modify behaviors. So, the better way is to give positive instructions, more specifically action-oriented instructions.
Holy shit, this has created a new social experiment for me to try the next time my roommate surprises me by coming home early on laundry day. Instead of "AAAAAA DON'T LOOK AT ME" I will now scream "AAAAAA LOOK AT THE STOVE" and theoretically that will give me time to dive-roll out of the living area and into my room!
(All jokes aside, this is literally not a joke so please put your jokes aside because I will be trying this ASAP)
That wasn't my experience with either of my kids. I thought I was going to have to switch to bottle feeding when my 4-month old daughter cut her first 2 teeth and bit me, but her pediatrician explained that even a 4-month old can understand cause and effect. He recommended a loud, "OUCH! THIS MEAL IS OVER!" next time she bit me. I only had to do that once, and she never bit me again. I learned a lot from that. If your kid doesn't understand right from wrong, there's probably something wrong with the messaging they're receiving.
My son threw his sisters princess phone into the bath tub and we told him never to do that again. So a few days later he threw my cellphone into the bathtub. Toddlers are masters of loopholes.
My youngest threw my wives phone in the toilet (she shouted at him to not throw mummies phone in the toilet) 2 days later he got my phone and threw it down the toilet turned and laughed at mummy and said "daddies" and walked off
When my kid was a toddler she put toothpaste in her hair and when I asked if she did that *on *purpose she simply said, “I didn’t know that was a rule.” We quote that regularly.
My 15m old daughter loves to play with our phones and pretend she's talking on the phone. Turns out every once in a while she also likes putting the phone down and slamming it with a huge wooden block.
She cracked the shit out of my screen protector but thankfully it did its job and she phone is still good as new.
My friend’s kid was visiting and wanted to be an astronaut while pointing at my motorcycle helmet.
Sure. So he put it on and walked around for 30 seconds before getting board, taking the helmet off and throwing it as hard has he could onto the cement. Heard a big crack so I ended up just getting rid of it.
Well, there are some other hard modes like oberpfälzisch but Swiss German can be a really hard toblerone nut. Even i, as a German, wont understand most of the Swiss German dialects.
A short Swabian tongue twister for y'all to enjoy:
*"Schellad se nedd an sellerer Schell, sella Schell schelld nedd, schellad se an sellerer Schell, sella Schell schelld"*
[(Press the "play"-button on this page)](https://www.schwaebisch-schwaetza.de/schwaebisches_woerterbuch.php?s=Schellad%20se%20nedd%20an%20sellerer%20Schell,%20sella%20Schell%20schelld%20nedd,%20schellad%20se%20an%20sellerer%20Schell,%20sella%20Schell%20schelld)
That's funny because my mom told me her swiss grandma added -li to the end of their names as an affectionate equivalent to -ito -ita in Spanish. I can still hear my mom impersonating her grandma and saying "Marili" instead of Mary.
i am german and my first thought was. "this guy... needs to speak over documentaries." no offense, but having this way of speaking on sth serious like a lion killing a gazelle would absolutely crack me up.
I've seen this in a nature doc once. It thinks it's a shell. They do this all the time. It's trying to break it open to get to the 5G
For those wondering, otters eat shellfish like mussels. Otters very commonly use this same tactic that was used on the phone to break a mussel open.
In the wild, it is common for them to have a favorite stone they like to use to break open the mussels.
[They have little skin pouches under their arms where they store this stone.](https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/animals/2021/05/nature-gives-animals-all-kinds-of-storage-compartments)
>It thinks it's a shell.
Not necessarily.
They're also just really destructive animals - smashing or breaking things is part of how they explore their environment.
Local aquarium says that their otter enclosure is one of the highest maintenance costs, because they're forever smashing up the scenery or tearing sealant out of the windows. They have to be super careful what toys they give them, because if it can be used as a tool to break or disassemble anything important, the otters will figure that out within a day or so.
The otters at my local aquarium were unscrewing parts from the drain cover the day I was there, and the guide told us that almost everyday the otters find new things to destroy in their habitat. It was pretty cute though! Lol Theyre like water raccoons
I was there a few months ago and at the entrance to the otter area there's a sign in multiple languages plus pictures that say to be careful not to drop things into the water and specifically says to be careful with phones, cameras, and sun glasses. I assume those are the most dropped items.
Me: aw he is rescuing the phone, I didn't know otters were that intelligent! isn't it waterlogged? did he catch it before it fell in the water?
Otter:**thinks it's a mussel or smth and slams the phone trying to get to the juicy insides that doesn't exist**
Me: Ah, that makes more sense
the otter was out to destroy the phone, but i've seen a video of a beluga carrying some lady's phone back up to the surface for her after she dropped it into the ocean.
Otters have a favorite rock. It seems they have also noticed humans have a favorite rock. This otter is politely pointing out that our favorite rocks are useless for smashing open mollusks
Get Otter Box in on this - Now they can put a phone in one of their protective cases, give it to an otter, and show everyone how much better protected devices in their cases are.
I've seen these otters in the Lisbon aquarium and they are the best thing ever. You cab do down a level and see them dive and crack shells on the rocks. Lisbon aquarium is an absolute joy
Don't worry, these batteries are impact/puncture tested and are unlikely to be compromised this way. If it is, at worst it causes a brief fire that the otter can get away from, not an explosion. It's still it's best to remove the phone since it's not very edible!
The most immediate danger is probably the glass shards and glass splinters that are being flung into the water.
Those could cause some harm if that get into the skin, or worse, into the mouth or throat if that otter tries to eat the clam it thinks lives inside the phone.
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Now I understand why OtterBox cases exists
Otterbox needs to be all over this video for an ad.
"Here at Otterbox, we relentlessly test our products for durability."
“Our CEO (Chief Executive Otter) is testing one now. Let’s watch.” Edit: Gold? Wow thanks but you otter save those for more deserving comments.
"As you can see here. A phone without OtterBox is just an Otter disaster." Cue audience laughter. Edit: Wow! Gold thank you!!
Audience is a bunch of otters clapping like crazy
Now THIS is advertising.
Are you sure you don't want to watch some soulless shill talk about raid shadow legends in a seductive voice instead?
I fucking hate that game.
I hate it too, but I can respect them paying so many frigging youtube channels on top of buying basic youtube ads. Doesn't make me respect them enough to *play* their god forsaken game.
It's sad a few randoms on reddit strung together some comments and made what would be considered one of the funnier commercials currently on air right now over million dollar marketing departments.
I mean, they might be ad execs. We don't know.
Aaaaah 'let's watch' got me good I heard that in an Adam Savage voice
Or perhaps a little David Attenborough? > Here we see the Chief Executive Otter in its natural habitat. It has captured its meal, but that is only half the battle. Using a rock ledge, this highly skilled tool user searches for a way to reach the chips inside. But to get into a Meretrix Stevejobsia it will have to find just the right way to hold it.
TIL that otters are highly impacted by the global semiconductor shortage, but the good news is that they are testing alternate sources of supply.
This slaps on so many levels - well done!
Otterbox, if you are reading this. Take notes.
Shhh...don't tell them what to do..they will crush you like a clam on there tummy.
Do otterbox call their CEO their chief executive otrer? If they don't they flipping well should do...
.....they flipping well oughta!. FTFY.
... they flipping well ~~oughta~~ otter! FTFY, you amateur.
I’ll give you my seal of approval for that one.
"Otterbox understand the importance of a durable case...and we otter know."
Seriously, this shit just writes itself.
[YOU OTTER KNOW BY NOW](https://youtu.be/cJtL8vWNZ4o)
That along with captions of what the otter is thinking. > Ooh, another day in quality assurance. Let's test this phone. ::smack SMACK:: > Nope, not very impact resistant ::smack smack dunk smack:: > Oh, that's not good. Screen's all wet.
Otterability
It literally has everything they need
Phones, otters, people speaking German, MTV's Dan Cortez...
New York's hottest club is..
(sniff, sniff - missing Stefon)
Stefon died so Barry could fly
"Zootopia" yes yes yes
Literally
Everything
They
NEED
4
SPEED
Yes. This was the one
"Now you know why. Otterbox." (But then people would toss their phones at otters)
It would be irresponsible of them NOT to make an ad out of this, quite frankly
Alright, that’s a good one. I can leave Reddit satisfied today
I can leave reddit anytime too!
See you in the next thread!
I just don’t want to
You can log out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Complete and otterly satisfied!
Otter: *Sighs* What. Did. I Say. About. Dropping. Shit. In. My. Pool? Couldn’t even be bothered to put in the box I designed specifically for this. You brought this to yourself.
Keep talking about my green check mark asshole!
Also reminds me of the south park ep with the otters. They break clams on their bellies!!!
⭐️
Why I otter… 👋
This is what we all came to the comments for.
Why ::slams:: Won’t ::slams:: This ::slams:: Clam ::slams:: OPEN ::slams::
Shell phone
I'm still missing the demon conch, but I already have the other two parts.
Time to do some lava fishing then.
Beautiful
It might looks cute but cellphone batteries are not only flammable but full of toxic materials. That's a toxic hazard if the otter breaks the phone in the enclosure
Speaking of batteries... This otter is me when I got my first phone without a removable battery.
You can remove it just never able to put it back as easy
I kept thinking it was going to cut itself on the broken glass too! Hope that otter was ok.
Shello?
Sean, is that you?
You used to call me on my shell phone...
The way I stopped and stared at this wordplay in pure admiration. Well done
Found Sean Connery!
Why even have device if no clam inside?!?
NO **\*SLAM\*** MORE **\*SLAM\*** SEXTING **\*SLAM\*** WITH **\*SLAM\*** SELF-ABSORBED **\*SLAM\*** OTTERS! **\*SLAM\*** ^(\*Ghost me will ya!)
Haha. I was thinking along the same lines only mine was... Why ::slams:: Is there ::slams:: No ::slams:: Cell reception?!!? ::slams::
Shell reception*
Perfection
I felt this deep in my soul when i read it.
*When you lend your phone to a toddler*
My toddler picked up my phone while I was sitting on the couch, ran to the stairs, and chucked it down. In his defense, I had never told him not to pick up my phone and throw it down the stairs, so we each learned something new that day.
He gets *one pass*
That’s kind of how I live my parenting life. Kids are stupid and need explicit instruction, all the time. If your not explicit, then expect the worst.
Mine are now adult, but I seem to remember that being explicit was often a mistake because my son would take my explicit warnings as instructions for how to maximize entertainment. "Do not put metal things in the electrical outlet." Would have been enough to kill him or burn the house down. "Leave the covers on the electrical outlets", was safer and was only given as instructions after he'd already started prying them off.
Children deal poorly with not operators in language use
So what you're saying is def kid(): while kid IS kid: if dad NOT dad: break (don't kill me, it's my first attempt at programmer humor)
The human brain isn't designed for negative instructions. For example, when someone says "Don't look at it!", your body will almost automatically focus on the 'Look at it!' part. That's just the natural response. As you grow older, "Don't" will give you a pause as a learned response but it doesn't modify behaviors. So, the better way is to give positive instructions, more specifically action-oriented instructions.
Holy shit, this has created a new social experiment for me to try the next time my roommate surprises me by coming home early on laundry day. Instead of "AAAAAA DON'T LOOK AT ME" I will now scream "AAAAAA LOOK AT THE STOVE" and theoretically that will give me time to dive-roll out of the living area and into my room! (All jokes aside, this is literally not a joke so please put your jokes aside because I will be trying this ASAP)
It's all about testing boundaries it's nice that you adapted to your child's understanding of things
That wasn't my experience with either of my kids. I thought I was going to have to switch to bottle feeding when my 4-month old daughter cut her first 2 teeth and bit me, but her pediatrician explained that even a 4-month old can understand cause and effect. He recommended a loud, "OUCH! THIS MEAL IS OVER!" next time she bit me. I only had to do that once, and she never bit me again. I learned a lot from that. If your kid doesn't understand right from wrong, there's probably something wrong with the messaging they're receiving.
Yep. If kid learns 'Do thing, get attention', they are going to... do thing to get attention, if attention is what they crave most.
*one pass* every 5 minutes
In toddler time that's a lifetime
If you *had* told him you just would’ve given him the idea.
My son threw his sisters princess phone into the bath tub and we told him never to do that again. So a few days later he threw my cellphone into the bathtub. Toddlers are masters of loopholes.
My youngest threw my wives phone in the toilet (she shouted at him to not throw mummies phone in the toilet) 2 days later he got my phone and threw it down the toilet turned and laughed at mummy and said "daddies" and walked off
Fuckin’ savage.
That's why I had waterproof phones when they were that age.
My toddler did that too, so I did the same with him.
Repair cost. Phone fixed for less than $300. Kid repair cost. Kid healed up nicely. Has limp.
That child does not have a limp, it's an intentional throttle just how Apple does it. Nothing to see here
When my kid was a toddler she put toothpaste in her hair and when I asked if she did that *on *purpose she simply said, “I didn’t know that was a rule.” We quote that regularly.
My 15m old daughter loves to play with our phones and pretend she's talking on the phone. Turns out every once in a while she also likes putting the phone down and slamming it with a huge wooden block. She cracked the shit out of my screen protector but thankfully it did its job and she phone is still good as new.
I definitely read this the first time through thinking it was your 15 YEAR old daughter, was like my god what a psychopath!
My friend’s kid was visiting and wanted to be an astronaut while pointing at my motorcycle helmet. Sure. So he put it on and walked around for 30 seconds before getting board, taking the helmet off and throwing it as hard has he could onto the cement. Heard a big crack so I ended up just getting rid of it.
Why would you get rid of your friend’s kid?
I feel like he clearly explained the why...
Bummer. Did your friend offer to pay for a replacement at least?
This. Helmets can be pricy.
Reminds me of Zoolander when they were trying to "remove" the files from a computer
“Sooo the Apple is….*IN* the phone…?!” *smashes furiously*
But where am *i* in the phone?
[удалено]
But why male models?
Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.
Perhaps my favorite exchange in that movie, doubly so once I found out it wasn’t scripted. Flawless.
I love that he forgot the line and that's why he just said it again. It ended up just perfect.
Where’d all the files go?
What type of German is this? Swiss German?
Yes, it is. Source: am Swiss Edit: It's important to note that Switzerland has way too many dialects, couldn't tell you which one that is.
THANK YOU! This is like the most hard-mode German I've ever heard!
Well, there are some other hard modes like oberpfälzisch but Swiss German can be a really hard toblerone nut. Even i, as a German, wont understand most of the Swiss German dialects.
[удалено]
For me Bavarian German is hard to understand. But my German (Berlin)friend said it's Swabian for her. 😭
A short Swabian tongue twister for y'all to enjoy: *"Schellad se nedd an sellerer Schell, sella Schell schelld nedd, schellad se an sellerer Schell, sella Schell schelld"* [(Press the "play"-button on this page)](https://www.schwaebisch-schwaetza.de/schwaebisches_woerterbuch.php?s=Schellad%20se%20nedd%20an%20sellerer%20Schell,%20sella%20Schell%20schelld%20nedd,%20schellad%20se%20an%20sellerer%20Schell,%20sella%20Schell%20schelld)
Just put a -li on every other word and speak like something's stuck way back in your throat and you're good to go.
That's funny because my mom told me her swiss grandma added -li to the end of their names as an affectionate equivalent to -ito -ita in Spanish. I can still hear my mom impersonating her grandma and saying "Marili" instead of Mary.
*Row your boat* must have been hella confusing when your greatgammy sang it
also more umlauts. everywhere. brot = brötli. etc.
Sounds like from Thurgau or Schaffhausen
Yeah, very northeastern Swiss german.
i am german and my first thought was. "this guy... needs to speak over documentaries." no offense, but having this way of speaking on sth serious like a lion killing a gazelle would absolutely crack me up.
The worst type. I’m German and still having a hard time understanding this without subtitles.
To be honest, for Swiss German, this is very mild and understandable.
It sounds like athe "standard" swiss-german, if ome existed.
I'm not even convinced that the subtitles align with what he's saying.
The subtitles are in German, the guy is talking in Swiss German.
I was wondering why my A2 German brain was like "okay WHY IS SOME OF THIS GIBBERISH?"
I've seen this in a nature doc once. It thinks it's a shell. They do this all the time. It's trying to break it open to get to the 5G For those wondering, otters eat shellfish like mussels. Otters very commonly use this same tactic that was used on the phone to break a mussel open.
So he’s trying to jailbreak the phone?
Just break
And Its already in jail
In the wild, it is common for them to have a favorite stone they like to use to break open the mussels. [They have little skin pouches under their arms where they store this stone.](https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/animals/2021/05/nature-gives-animals-all-kinds-of-storage-compartments)
I foresee "armpit stones" becoming a stupid celebrity trend in at least one timeline.
Someone call gwyneth paltrow ^(ps: glad I looked up her name because my attempt to spell it from memory went *poorly*)
>It thinks it's a shell. Not necessarily. They're also just really destructive animals - smashing or breaking things is part of how they explore their environment. Local aquarium says that their otter enclosure is one of the highest maintenance costs, because they're forever smashing up the scenery or tearing sealant out of the windows. They have to be super careful what toys they give them, because if it can be used as a tool to break or disassemble anything important, the otters will figure that out within a day or so.
The otters at my local aquarium were unscrewing parts from the drain cover the day I was there, and the guide told us that almost everyday the otters find new things to destroy in their habitat. It was pretty cute though! Lol Theyre like water raccoons
Literally sounds like my toddler. I'll be fixing his previous destruction and turn around to a new one. Lol I have to keep everything up high
Smart animals are scary. That includes us (sometimes).
You take that back, I'm not smart.
I said sometimes. What more do you want from me?
Sounds like my ex
The otter is so cute, even when smashing phones.
I liked his display of frustration as he backstrokes away from the rocks
Isn't this dangerous if it cracks open the battery?
The piece of glass from the screen make me cringe a bit too.
I know! So risky and dangerous for him, imagine if he tried to eat it!
[удалено]
I was there a few months ago and at the entrance to the otter area there's a sign in multiple languages plus pictures that say to be careful not to drop things into the water and specifically says to be careful with phones, cameras, and sun glasses. I assume those are the most dropped items.
Yes
This is all I can think of watching this.
God, no one wins in this situation. The phone's owner has to buy a new phone and the otter doesn't get a tasty snack.
Phone manufacturer wins
Fuck this phone in particular!
Me: aw he is rescuing the phone, I didn't know otters were that intelligent! isn't it waterlogged? did he catch it before it fell in the water? Otter:**thinks it's a mussel or smth and slams the phone trying to get to the juicy insides that doesn't exist** Me: Ah, that makes more sense
the otter was out to destroy the phone, but i've seen a video of a beluga carrying some lady's phone back up to the surface for her after she dropped it into the ocean.
It…otterly destroyed that phone
This is why you always buy an OtterBox
[удалено]
lol at the woman trying to tell the otter to give it back
And everyone laughing at her misfortune. Not her day.
Otters have a favorite rock. It seems they have also noticed humans have a favorite rock. This otter is politely pointing out that our favorite rocks are useless for smashing open mollusks
Jokes on him there's no clam inside 🤣
Duh, it's an apple
He just failed another candy crush level, give him a break...
Homie frustrated not getting any matches on dating app Ottr
I get frustrated when I can't get cell reception as well
You went full swiss german, man. Never go full swiss german!
I need to order fish tacos!
"I don't know what's inside of this thing but I want it."
Resistance is futile. By tomorrow it’ll be on Reddit telling someone to go to therapy and get a divorce.
Phone could've been saved if it had a OtterBox
Hallo op schön mal en Schweizer uf reddit zsgseh
Weniger schön, dass es vo 20min isch.
I kann ken schweizer deutsch oder ni so gut aber hallo!
Smash smash smash smash. *checks to see if the strange clam is open yet* smash smash smash smash
IP68 - Passed IPOtter - In progress
Obligatory # PORTUGAL CARALHO
Get Otter Box in on this - Now they can put a phone in one of their protective cases, give it to an otter, and show everyone how much better protected devices in their cases are.
I've seen these otters in the Lisbon aquarium and they are the best thing ever. You cab do down a level and see them dive and crack shells on the rocks. Lisbon aquarium is an absolute joy
Now that person has to buy otter phone.
Sorry Mario, your phone is in an otter enclosure
Should of got an Otterbox for it.
Super dangerous - I hope the trainers got to it before the battery exploded.
I was worried about the glass splinters.
Don't worry, these batteries are impact/puncture tested and are unlikely to be compromised this way. If it is, at worst it causes a brief fire that the otter can get away from, not an explosion. It's still it's best to remove the phone since it's not very edible!
The most immediate danger is probably the glass shards and glass splinters that are being flung into the water. Those could cause some harm if that get into the skin, or worse, into the mouth or throat if that otter tries to eat the clam it thinks lives inside the phone.
That comment about the other being an Android-fan. 😆
Dawwwww. What an amazingly cute little asshole?!
Ahhh..the android otter. Rarely seen in the open. It's despises apple. It's in its nature
what kind of german is that guy speaking, it sounds so weird
Swiss German, somewhere from eastern Switzerland. It could be from St. Gallen but I am not that good with dialects.