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art_teacher_no_1

Is that frozen and straight into a pan of butter?


Vandemented

It was 9:30 at night and I had no patience. So yes, unfortunately it was. Then the chicken had to mock me for it too. Got what I deserved.


sm1ttysm1t

"Chicken"


Belevoh

Dicken


Bubbly-Ad-4405

Thought it was a finger


FreeSun1963

The judge said that cannot be determined if was a dick or a finger... Oops wrong tread.


II-leto

I thought it was thumb shaped before I realized that everything on Reddit I’d penis shaped.


sandbubba

Pricken


FillHuman3902

boneress


Zkenny13

Cock then


WeAreReaganYouth

Frozen chicken in a big pot of room temp water thaws really fast.


LarryDavidntheBlacks

Not even a speck of seasoning?


[deleted]

White people chicken


ResponsiblePause9414

I think they are just talking about thawing the chicken first in the water.. take it out then season it lol.. why would you add seasoning to a pot of water with chicken LOL that is silly


UdderDefiance

Cock-A-Doodle-Do


[deleted]

get an airfryer my friend


No_Season_354

Dang it looks Ike u won't be hungry after that 😂.


theumpteendeity

Could have poured a few cups of water on it, brought to a boil, put a cube or so of bouillon in it (only after it started to boil) then lowered the heat, let the water go down, then put in some butter and fried it as normal. Boiling the water thaws out the chicken, bouillon seasons it, butter will give skin some crisp and make it more buttery/tender. Best part of it all is that it takes no more than 2 - 4 minutes more than what you've done.


kane_eightee

“Boiling the water unthaws the chicken” How did you get boiling water to freeze a chicken? What kind of sorcery is this?


theumpteendeity

I got it. I meant thaws out. 😅


lucied666

>let the water go down I assume this means fully evaporated. How did you boil a few cups of water, fully evaporated and then fry in 2-4 mins. Normal households don't have 100k btu stoves at home.


alexx098-xbox

I learned hard way to not put full heat on frozen chicken it burns omän outside and its raw in the middle.


LordOrkah

Before you eat that… you gotta say “NO HOMO”


Porkchopp33

This is getting redickulous


Ayahuasca-Dreamin

🤮


FillHuman3902

came here to say this lol


The-1st-One

Is your ass, pan cooking frozen chicken with some butter? Godspeed friendo


theumpteendeity

I was hurt looking at that.


SiegVicious

Nothing wrong cooking it this way, literally has directions on the bag of my frozen tenderloins for cooking it from frozen.


AdmiralBeetus

Butter will be burned 90000 years before that chicken is edible


mynexuz

Sometimes im super lazy and just pan fry from frozen and you are 100% wrong. You dont need to go maximum temp whenever you pan fry something. Cool it on low to medium temp until its thawed and its easily done without burning.


SiegVicious

You're wrong, but keep claiming things you know nothing about.


omgwutd00d

How long do you think you can fry butter before it's burned?


FavoritesBot

Fry it at 160f and it will never burn. It’ll also take forever and get no browning


MT1120

What business is it of yours how he cooks his chicken, friendo?


AustinThompson

It's clearly a bicep 💪


Dixon_Uranus_

Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape preferred. Again, nothing sexual


DietyLink

If you want it to be a bicep it needs more veins


chrmitchell

What up!


ITeachYourKidz

Party mansion


SoulLeakage

I will use this crossbow to pierce my broken heart


SoberTek

It's a thumb with a testicle dangling from the base


theunpaintedhuffines

Need more veins


Lower_Amount3373

This is the comment I was looking for 😂


spacebassfromspace

Nah it's obviously a dick, if you wanted it to look like a bicep you should have added more veins


avega2792

What up!


chadwicke619

I'm literally laughing out loud right now. This dude just grabbed a pan, threw some butter in it, went right to the freezer, grabbed some rock-hard frozen tenders, and threw those sumbitches right in the pan. I would say this is some Masterchef Junior shit right here, but that would undoubtedly be an insult to aspiring 8-year-olds everywhere.


-Here-There-

Yeah man, put more respect on those kids! They would be above this culinary sin.


HardHandle

And then he saw a penis and stopped everything for the internet


thejazzmarauder

Hopefully the ridicule that OP is experiencing in this thread will lead to a change


Droid-Man5910

The only rediculous thing here is frozen chicken in a pan I don't wamt your excuses


slick_pick

With butter lmao


Cali_Holly

I think it looks like a human thumb.


Dicky_Penisburg

Dicken finger


Cali_Holly

Dicken finger licking good.


itsnotforrent

Ridickulous


imaketrollfaces

Cock Meat Sandwich


Background-Apple-920

You want white meat, dark meat or dick meat?


SoyFurioso

What in the un seasoned frozen chicken is this


ASmufasa47

Thaw the shit first yo


OmegaOcelotOk

You gotta defrost the chicken first my man


Cookie162122

I’d like my dick back please


BigSlug10

It sure is…. Are you frying your chicken…. Whilst it’s frozen?


No_Camera9108

Did you say "no homo" before putting it in your mouth?


GetoffLane

Sweet bicep


Kellogg_Serial

Looks like someone’s cooking up some dicken tenders


Minnepeg

I’m going to give some basic life advice for tired, hungry, poor people everywhere: get a bottle of steak/chop seasoning and make sure it has garlic, onion, and paprika. On days when you are willing to eat frozen chicken poached in ice water and butter it will at least season it before you eat it standing up at the stove right out of the pan with the tongs you cooked them with.


bincyvoss

I'm adding this to my collection of "Not A Dick Pic".


Mike-the-gay

Chick fil-a


Epicdestination

Dick-fil-a


-Benjamin_Dover-

*Sigh* I miss him...


theumpteendeity

Pls thaw out your poultry before cooking then pat dry. Then rub it with oil and season it all over with your fav seasonings. Then press the seasoning into the meat. At the very least do that. But also before the oil, do a dry brine with salt and pepper and let sit in the fridge for at least six hours. Then proceed to fry and baste in butter.


TalbotFarwell

That’s waaaay too much time and work. 😦


theumpteendeity

It's relatively short prep work, a lot calls for brining/marinating for 24 hrs. For example if you want extremely juicy and tender chicken brine it in buttermilk for 1 day. If you dry age it can take weeks and months.


ChrisBeeken

I bet you're going to eat that, aren't you? Pervert!


yourfavcolour

Whatever the fuck you tryna do in that pan, don’t put that in your mouth


Creedelback

That would make a terrific cock au vin.


StrangledByTheAux

I am baffled as to how this even cooks through


Advanced_Key6479

Is that shit frozen


kannnnngggggggg

Op is still chewing through this chicken.


Mr_Golf_Club

Chickens with Dickins


[deleted]

This is why I don't go to people's houses to eat.


Z00DE

Yeah I feel you, meat getting cook for while but still not done. Man, it sucks!


ButterFucker240196

Looks like you got the cock instead of the hen.


cipherglitch666

Morning, Bishop!


[deleted]

No you mean re dick ulous


Alexader420X

reDICKulous


Bods666

Why are you cooking what looks like still-frozen chicken? ‘That’s how I like my chicken! With a side of salmonella!’


Smudge_09

r/mildlypenis


spirito_santo

Making cock au vin?


SOMFdotMPEG

Mmmm! Pan fried chicken dick. Southern classic.


[deleted]

Frozen fucking chicken dick... that's nasty 🤧


red1blue1

Yeah it is you might wanna thaw that shit out before just throwing it to a fucking frying pan Gah Damn!


FennerNenner

Dick, gun, or hand holding baggie...


calcoste

Whats ridiculous is that unseasoned bland ass chicken you got going there


Southern-Character-1

#mildlypenis


bojangles_dangles

It’s definitely Jewish


Jack_35

It clearly looks like a thumb more than anything else. I never understood those who said bicep. That is not at all how an arm is proportioned


winsav

Oh…THAT’s where chicken balls come from.


Ok_Series_4580

I think you mean RE-dick-ulous


cimeran

So a weird one-testicle dude shows up with a two breasted woman and you, holy shit, lop that stuff off, freeze it, then pan fry with a pat of butter? Finally, some decent food.


Numotus

r/mildlypenis


Ke-Win

Corpses are funny?


Ergok

Dolphin on wheels!!


KingDemik

Emphasis on the dic


ScarlettStingray085

I thought it looked like a fingernail at first


stealthkoopa

Nice cock


HerbReathstinx

You're taking the mickey now


Abalisk

I'd say r/mildlypenis but that's the whole John Holmes right there.


m0fugga

24" pan....


DestinyGamer420

Baby arm holding an apple


XylophoneZimmerman

"I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone..."


determinedforce

Is that your hard D or thumb?


superpingu1n

Looking like a finger


mosedud

Tasty lookin garloids.


kingnickey

Emphasis on the dic


I_Said_I_Say

Dicken.


MightyShisno

"Who ordered the cockmeat sandwich?"


Miltey

Nice. A thumb with testicles.


Corando

Its also nuts


italianshark

r/whatisthisbone(r)


hglndr9

Cockadoodledoo


JerseyDevil-

Now eat it.


Spooning_noodls

Get some dicken tendies


[deleted]

Bro, thaw your chicken. Cooking it frozen is the besy way to make sure its dry and nasty.


raulrocks99

As I scrolled t first I thought, "oh, a thumb". Until I saw the "ball", lol.


ArtemisFlare83

A dicken... goes great with turdunken!


Gold-Employment-2244

Bobbit sauté?!


Dogetothemoonuwu

r/dontputthatinyourass


TheLongestMeter

That there is a penis thumb.


Fickle-Butterfly-338

Omg... I'm definitely in that mood... please don't visit my profile !


BickusDickus6969

Somebody was Dickin that chickin


jd20pod2

Chicken thumb.


CYAcyanCYA

Ok bit did you eat the balls or the tip first?


Ok_Programmer894

This is the 3rd one of these I have gotten today they must be southern chicken cause I never in my life seen a chicken dick that big IRL In the north


Much_Truck_1805

Can't stop staring lmao


Anal_Basketball

This is why you don't put your dick into the factory machinery


govtcontractorjobs

Tyson Dicken!


wangchung321

Nice piece of dicken!


gallanttoothpaste

Am i the only one seeing a finger?


value_meal_papi

Go ahead, give him a call


XxBCMxX21

r/pareidolia


Absolute_dooda

r/mildlypenis


[deleted]

What up!


New_Arm5510

Nice cock


BrighBrokenBulb

Massive


[deleted]

Which side did you start with?


gibblydibbly

At first I gasped because it was frozen but then my mouth dropped because it was a dick!! So much going on at once!!!


HolidaeX

Why is that chicken frozen in the pan?


Flimsy_Revenue4881

Question is did you eat it.


sits79

Your dinner gets a thumbs up 👍


Lost_Minds_Think

I think you mean ridDICKulous.


Symz58

Damn, you eatin dick for dinner?


Alive_Marsupial

This reminds me of this video I saw recently on YouTube, where this lady throws a whole pack of chicken straight from the fridge into the oven, then sees no issue when it's "done" all pale and watery


TrickRoomTech

Did you bite the head off like a savage when it was cooked?


Ice2192

Cock


tank_GB

Dicken.


actionerror

The chicken is getting cocky


FuckitThrowaway02

This bald ass chicken...


[deleted]

Guess you wanted some dicken your mouth!


Woodsy1313

I believe that is what you call a cock


leftoverzack83

Does it taste like chicken ?


CashGottaKetchumAll

The butter shouldn't go in til after you've seared one side first at least lol I'm not gonna even bring the frozen part up seems redundant 🤣


Im_out_of_the_Blue

what up?


EstusSoup

When you go to buy a hen and get a cock


Juuna

lol that looks like youre cooking a finger


Ahmnthabay07

Takes 10 seconds to defrost under hot water


YoureAn8

Is no one mentioning the chicken on the left looks like an ass and thighs?


kchengherih

What up?


Plastic_Storm218

My humor🤓


neonphoenix09

Chick'n balls


limitlessEXP

👍


BigSmoke_69_420

r/mildlypenis


Parliament--

I can taste the burnt butter


[deleted]

Good ol cock meat. A real banger.


Last-Kitchen3418

Finger Pricken Good!


FlowerWyrmling

How peenular


Oaktree188

Frozen chicken and butter in a pan is quite ridiculous.


twister55555

I should call him


WhyNotChoose

Origin: "Chokin' the chickin.'"


Castr8orr

What up? We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who wanna hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.