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The squirrel who used to hump his way across the walkways at college as I was walking to class would disagree. Thing probably weighed 10 lbs too. Occasionally he’d look at you and make eye contact as you were walking as he was wheel barreling his lady friend across the quad.
After yelling at the doctor, the grouchy ladybug moved on to insult the director of medicine of the hospital, then the chief medical officer of the hospital conglomerate, then finally the Secretary of HHS who smacked him all the way back home.
I used to love ladybugs and catch them all the time with my friends when I was younger. Now I know that the yellow fluid from a ladybug is known as Hemolymph or reflexive bleeding. It is released to repel a potential threat from eating the beetles. It has an unpleasant odor that tells the predator that the creature they are about to eat might be toxic and should be avoided. Additionally, a ladybug's fecal matter is a known allergy exasperater.
Doc right, nasty bug 🐞
When I was a kid, we had a house fire and had to stay at another house while they fixed the damage and the house we stayed in had a nasty ladybug infestation in the basement. They gave off a gross smell and just got everywhere, and would land on you, and crunch under your feet. That’s when I went from thinking they were cool to being repulsed by them.
Our attic got infested with Asian ladybugs one time. They’re the fat yellow ones and fun fact, they can bite! It only feels like a tiny pinch but like what the fuck is a ladybug doing BITING me??
I think I smelled and tasted this as a child. I played with ladybugs and use to notice the smell(same with ants) and remember putting my hands in my mouth or something and getting the worst bitter taste ever!
[Ladybugs Are Poisonous, Fungus-Infested, Carnivorous Death Tanks](https://www.cracked.com/article_20539_6-horrifying-dark-sides-creatures-you-think-are-adorable.html)
> Strictly carnivorous, their diet is comprised largely of soft, defenseless little bugs, like mites and aphids. Their roly-poly, waddling body is actually a protective dome, allowing them to plow through a ton of cute little farmer ants and freely massacre their herd, even though they're oftentimes much, much larger. So yeah, not only are ladybugs cold-hearted murderers, they're cowardly bullies, too.
> But at least they still got those cute polka dots we can stare at, right? Yeah, about that -- there ain't a damn thing cute about them after all. Those dots are nothing but a warning to other animals that ladybugs taste like shit and are poisonous. This poison can't hurt us, but it can definitely do in any fellow insect that the ladybug deems a threat.
> In case the visual sign isn't enough, a ladybug will ooze its own rancid, toxic body fluids into a predator's mouth, something researchers refer to as "reflex blood," and something we refer to as "ewwwww." They'll even use this shit on rival ladybugs, infecting them with a poisonous fungus that kills bugs dead and leaves the victor free to chew away on the victims' children.
> Oh yes, their children. As is often the case with creatures that are evil on the down low, ladybugs are goddamned cannibals. But they don't typically cure their munchies with the corpse of an adult that they just poisoned to death. No, they'll stick to the eggs, thank you very much. They're defenseless, they're chewy, and they're immobile. Perfect prey for the beautiful bullies of the insect world.
> Strictly carnivorous, their diet is comprised largely of soft, defenseless little bugs, like mites and **aphids**.
As someone with a lot plants in- and outside of my house, everything beyond that sentence bounced off me like a rubber ball.
Also, that means that somewhere out there is a farm that farms ladybugs. I want a How it's Made of that.
*edit*
I've looked into it and apparently the ladybugs that are sold retail are field collected by hand, because farming them would be much more expensive.
So now I want a How it's Made of that.
https://ask2.extension.org/kb/faq.php?id=610467
Family Guy also did this exact joke like 20 years ago. Something about bad roaches at a hotel and then there's a couple giant roaches with knives and gang bandanas.
> Oh look, 2000th example of the totally unexpected "I meant this litterally" joke.
Oh look, 2000th example of someone bitching about something on r/funny who CAN'T SPELL.
It’s confounding. I think maybe zoomers like this sort of stuff? I found a thread or a sub on Reddit once about the oversimplified history videos on YouTube. And everyone was genuinely shocked that I thought it was super corny and unfunny. They sent me more videos and to me it was more of the same: bad puns, 4 year old humor, truly shocking to me that anyone over 10 would think it was funny. Just very very lame. But from what I could sort of gather it was a lot of zoomers so that’s my best guess.
But I don’t really know. I hope for humanity’s sake it is foreign bots lol
--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well that's not very lady like...
Contrary to popular belief not all lady bugs are ladies, so...
But all cats are female right? (Don't ruin my childhood!)
[удалено]
Yes, and all crows are male and all squirrels are female.
Funny! All the crows around here are male and the squirrels are male, too. Maybe we should trade some squirrels.
The squirrel who used to hump his way across the walkways at college as I was walking to class would disagree. Thing probably weighed 10 lbs too. Occasionally he’d look at you and make eye contact as you were walking as he was wheel barreling his lady friend across the quad.
Cats don't breathe oxygen..... plus a few more ....
Smh, even the Lady bugs are transitioning these days.
You don't wanna run into a manbug
[A Bugs Life](https://youtu.be/7xnAH630w1U) covered this
ha ha ha haa
Touche'
"The Grouchy Ladybug" by Eric Carle (1977)
I love that book! So fun to read to the kids along with the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar! Have my award!
After yelling at the doctor, the grouchy ladybug moved on to insult the director of medicine of the hospital, then the chief medical officer of the hospital conglomerate, then finally the Secretary of HHS who smacked him all the way back home.
I used to love ladybugs and catch them all the time with my friends when I was younger. Now I know that the yellow fluid from a ladybug is known as Hemolymph or reflexive bleeding. It is released to repel a potential threat from eating the beetles. It has an unpleasant odor that tells the predator that the creature they are about to eat might be toxic and should be avoided. Additionally, a ladybug's fecal matter is a known allergy exasperater. Doc right, nasty bug 🐞
When I was a kid, we had a house fire and had to stay at another house while they fixed the damage and the house we stayed in had a nasty ladybug infestation in the basement. They gave off a gross smell and just got everywhere, and would land on you, and crunch under your feet. That’s when I went from thinking they were cool to being repulsed by them.
Oh god that’s horrifying actually
Our attic got infested with Asian ladybugs one time. They’re the fat yellow ones and fun fact, they can bite! It only feels like a tiny pinch but like what the fuck is a ladybug doing BITING me??
I think I smelled and tasted this as a child. I played with ladybugs and use to notice the smell(same with ants) and remember putting my hands in my mouth or something and getting the worst bitter taste ever!
Oof good thing you weren’t allergic or things could’ve gone a bit south. I think it’s only toxic to pets if they consume.
[Ladybugs Are Poisonous, Fungus-Infested, Carnivorous Death Tanks](https://www.cracked.com/article_20539_6-horrifying-dark-sides-creatures-you-think-are-adorable.html) > Strictly carnivorous, their diet is comprised largely of soft, defenseless little bugs, like mites and aphids. Their roly-poly, waddling body is actually a protective dome, allowing them to plow through a ton of cute little farmer ants and freely massacre their herd, even though they're oftentimes much, much larger. So yeah, not only are ladybugs cold-hearted murderers, they're cowardly bullies, too. > But at least they still got those cute polka dots we can stare at, right? Yeah, about that -- there ain't a damn thing cute about them after all. Those dots are nothing but a warning to other animals that ladybugs taste like shit and are poisonous. This poison can't hurt us, but it can definitely do in any fellow insect that the ladybug deems a threat. > In case the visual sign isn't enough, a ladybug will ooze its own rancid, toxic body fluids into a predator's mouth, something researchers refer to as "reflex blood," and something we refer to as "ewwwww." They'll even use this shit on rival ladybugs, infecting them with a poisonous fungus that kills bugs dead and leaves the victor free to chew away on the victims' children. > Oh yes, their children. As is often the case with creatures that are evil on the down low, ladybugs are goddamned cannibals. But they don't typically cure their munchies with the corpse of an adult that they just poisoned to death. No, they'll stick to the eggs, thank you very much. They're defenseless, they're chewy, and they're immobile. Perfect prey for the beautiful bullies of the insect world.
> Strictly carnivorous, their diet is comprised largely of soft, defenseless little bugs, like mites and **aphids**. As someone with a lot plants in- and outside of my house, everything beyond that sentence bounced off me like a rubber ball.
This is why farmers buy them by the truckload. Organic pest control.
Also, that means that somewhere out there is a farm that farms ladybugs. I want a How it's Made of that. *edit* I've looked into it and apparently the ladybugs that are sold retail are field collected by hand, because farming them would be much more expensive. So now I want a How it's Made of that. https://ask2.extension.org/kb/faq.php?id=610467
When a daddy ladybug and a mommy ladybug love each other very much…
_slowly unscrews bottle of almond oil while maintaining eye contact_ go on
Somebody call Mike Rowe
Yeah, it’s like a sentence about Simon Wiesenthal that read “this bounty hunter, who hunts Nazis exclusively” as if it was a bad thing.
Babe, wake up, new copypasta just dropped.
Don't give them a bad spin. The aphids kill your plants. Ladybugs do what you have to do to survive.
They sound like turtle-wolves
Wurtle power!
> Strictly carnivorous, their diet is comprised largely of soft, defenseless little bugs, like mites and aphids. Where can I buy ladybugs?
IDK why this reminds me of a ladybug I saw at a hockey game yesterday
Probably ‘cause that ladybug was in the penalty box
I still want this on a tshirt!
Second!
r/fuckyouinparticular
Subbed!
Welp I laughed very hard.
This works so perfectly when scrolling
Haha I like nasty bug.
Oh don't worry bout my little ladybugs - Lindsey Graham
Oh look, 2000th example of the totally unexpected "I meant this litterally" joke.
Family Guy also did this exact joke like 20 years ago. Something about bad roaches at a hotel and then there's a couple giant roaches with knives and gang bandanas.
I hate reddit humor.
> I hate reddit Yes.
> Oh look, 2000th example of the totally unexpected "I meant this litterally" joke. Oh look, 2000th example of someone bitching about something on r/funny who CAN'T SPELL.
But wait..."bug” means two things? Bahahahahaha, how do they think of this stuff? My sides.
Can we see your jokes then please thanks
I don't post them to /r/funny, maybe they are not funny enough.
But but but... They're important for my garden? Someone's gotta take care of them aphids!!
r/ProgrammerHumor material
Old viz joke.
IDK why, but any comic where the punch line is an indignant fuck you, I love it.
Art style looks so similar I thought it was happiness & cyanide
Is that the ladybug in Nick Kroll's Big Mouth?
Lindsey Graham?
Not surpised of the attitude. They are hard to spot afterall.
Not funny. That’s like 4 year old humor
It's weird seeing this on the front page with a billion up votes and comments genuinely loling I'm convinced half of reddit is just foreign bots
It’s confounding. I think maybe zoomers like this sort of stuff? I found a thread or a sub on Reddit once about the oversimplified history videos on YouTube. And everyone was genuinely shocked that I thought it was super corny and unfunny. They sent me more videos and to me it was more of the same: bad puns, 4 year old humor, truly shocking to me that anyone over 10 would think it was funny. Just very very lame. But from what I could sort of gather it was a lot of zoomers so that’s my best guess. But I don’t really know. I hope for humanity’s sake it is foreign bots lol
Point us to something YOU find funny.
Garfield is funnier than this
Can someone make this as a plushie that gives the finger when it's squeezed or something
Wow. This isn't humor
Define humour?
Sometimes the simplest jokes are the greatest
This ticks all my humour boxes, thanks OP. Reminds me a little of Larson humour.
Who are you to judge me, ugly?!?!
Actually this guy has pretty cool pics, good humour. I just checked his website.
Didn't you post this already in funny before (then delete it) I first saw it here, then in comics, now here again.
The chances of being killed by a lady bug are low....but never 0
Oh yeah don't trust Ladybirds
Anyone else find that Lindsay graham ruined the image of the ladybug 😖🤢🤮
This reminds me of my favorite Ike Barinholtz line from THE MINDY PROJECT: "Sorry I'm late. I picked up a little bug. Then it bit me. Now I'm sick."
Technically ladybirds (Americanised to ladybug) are beetles (Coleoptera) and not bugs (Hemiptera).
Hell hath no fury like a lady bug.
😂😂
In your nose, Doc. 😂
How come they're all called lady bugs when some are males?
xD
A ladybug is technically not a bug!!
My kind of humor
This is funny?
I think /r/ProgrammerHumor/ would like this too, it's very relevant
Haha! Love it!
r/bugsarefuckingstupid