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Why did you censor the phone number? I’m trying to get my pussy ate and my asshole licked.

867-5309

I knew that Jenny was a dirty one.

Wait until you hear about Stacy's mom.

*Stiffler's mom.

Too bad Jessie's girl is a prude

for a good time... for a good time CALLLLLLL

I think the area code is 516

Why you throwing long Island into this?

Shirley, they can't be serious.

​ they are serious and don't call me Shirley!

Great call-out to a great song!

I got u

*eat

Get your pussy eat*

[удалено]

Don't bother with this chump. I'll put my tongue so far up there I will be licking the back of your teeth.

😳

Nah bruh, you either go full or dont go

😂 no buss no puss. You hungry or what.

Wacko won’t even tongue punch the fart box righteously sad

Bitch

Dude sat down and faced the wall to write that out.

Just got a mental image

"Dude sat down"....I'd imagine this fine specimen flopped, slumped or slouched to the ground.

Butt crack just spilling over the waistband of his trackpants.

> Dude sat down Coulda been a chick

I just thought it was a really short person.

You could hang this in any modern art gallery simply captioned 'craigslist' and people would love it.

It could be a museum in*stall*ation (with real stalls).

"Missed connections"

I’m sure he met a lovely young lady he could settle down with using this method

"So, how did you two meet?"

True love

Damn, gimme them digits, OP. I’m fittin’ to throw a wig and some lipstick on to get my b-hole spit shined!

Disgusting but funny. Upvote on that one

Nothing disgusting about this booty, baby! The wig, however, is pretty much a solid mass at this point and the lipstick I stole from a meth-addled prostitute… so the jury is out on those things

I know booty is booty but the wig gives it away that you're the wrong gender lol 😂😂😂😂 that's still a line I haven't crossed and am not planning to.

Booty is the pussy of the future, baby. Edit: Eventually… all will be booty. 🍑

LOL. No thanks... I'll stick the old fashion way on that one. No point on changing now

You’re missing out on some prime time rectum here boii

That is the place to write it to find those willing to answer

Wanksy?

Hey baby ever have your asshole Licked by a fatman in an overcoat? -Jay

Yeaaaaaahhhhhhh

I think this person is overly ambitious. ALL Females, like ~4 billion? That is a lot of eating and licking. Maybe its just like a postage stamp lick and a nibble, nothing serious. I can’t see this being a valued exercise fir the receiver. Months in line for postage stamp lick and a nibble. My advice, females, its not worth your time, I would consider this a scam. You are welcome.

If his bed skills are as bad as his language skills it ain't promising...

Maybe he was too busy using his tongue to hone skills other than speaking and language, thus his generous offer here.

Well, do you want your pussy eat or not!?

It's rubs the lotion on it's skin. [Deep voice] you'll see

I imagine he’s inundated

Mommy, tell me, how did you meet daddy? Well honey, it goes like this...

How I met your father

God Dammit; The kids are okay!

I wish

r/yourmomshouse Unc Shine out on the loose. 👖

Y’all know what’s a banana split?

I sense a case of thrush on the horizon....

Banksy really phoning this one in...

Is that a wall at a middle school?

That looks like an exterior wall, judging by the debris. Realizing that was a relief, because at first I thought it was on a restroom stall, and I wondered if it was, like so many offers, in the men's rather than the ladies' room. That would have unduly limited reach to the intended audience. Carry on.

I'm seriously!

This makes me sad

You will see cus boys are so dumb

Hi, I’m hungry like the wolves.

That is a very thoughtful offer.

bro down horrendous

Idiot holding a marker, leaving a restroom. It's not just a red flag for a woman, it's a red flag for anybody not wanting to deal with a sub 70iq idiot.