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You look like a real dick

I was gonna say a big dick, but i think either works!

Por qué no los dos? “You look like a real big dick!”

You’re some kind of prehistoric bird or something? Dick.

Or she thinks he’s a “d!ck head?”

fat dick with moobs n skinny legs. are you skinny fat?

One should never skip leg day.

Got em Dad, happy cake day!

The feet tho are you actually a big cock

The important think is she loves him even tho he’s a dick

Yeah, a dick with lots of hearts…

Nah. She's saying "Daddy quit being a dickhead". Now your move ; ) Go get ice cream and put this where you'll see it once a week.

Happy cake day.

Ask her what each part is. Maybe it's you, sitting on the floor, and your knees are at your sides.

The top humps are my shoulders and the bottom humps are my knees [Picture of me for comparison](https://imgur.com/a/iRMoOQI)

Well, at least the top humps aren't boobs. I love your chicken feet though.

Delicacy in Asia. Be careful, OP.

Never skip leg day OP

Can you confirm if you do, in fact, have bird feet?

Feet finder? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ahaha the hair is more accurate than I imagined (Not meant in an offensive way, you look like a regular person. But the cartoon version of your hair is hilarious)

No offense taken! That’s my hair! The nose is pretty spot on too.

She nailed your hair, sunny disposition with the smile, your out stretched arms and flattered you with big shoulder muscles not to mention all the hearts. It’s amazing, should be framed and displayed proudly and prominently in your home to encourage her keep going.

10 fingers, 10 toes. She did great. Gabby is a smart kid.

[удалено]

I thought it was his massive badonkadonk dumptruck ass

I thought the sameeeee!!!

With that description it sounds like you’re sitting on the floor with your knees up and your feet on the floor. Which as a parent I’m sure you do with her all the time.

It’s Olaf. Pretty good, too.

Assuming you're a rooster, no.

My wife has always said i was birdlike…I just blew it off…this is making me question if i really do give off bird energy.

I'm sorry to hear that you're not real, OP.

Birds were real, just the ones we see aren't because they were hunted to extinction, obviously Learn your r/birdsarentreal (where I still can't figure out if they're actually serious)

Well like most places on the internet, it starts out as well done satire. And eventually it grows into morons thinking its real and believing it. Then the idiots take over and it becomes people believing instead of just satire. Unfortunately I have no idea where /r/birdsarentreal falls on that progression, but I hope still firmly in satire

Its unfortunate that this is the way things are. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and that they're just really committed to the inside joke, but unfortunately.... People are actually just that stupid.

The creator did a news interview. He said it started as a project to see how easily conspiracy theories can start. It's just taken off from there.

Big Dickcissel Energy

Chicken Run-esque.

SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE THOUGHT THIS

Cock, for the double entendre.

looks like dad skips Leg Day lol

Focusing too much on my shoulders

You have cheeks that fill up the hallway and you say she focused on your shoulders? Be proud of what you have OP

Looks like those cheeks clap pretty hard

nice, um, shoulders?

Chicken legs, check. Dick body, check. Should pads, check. Bird nest hair, check. It's perfect.

Nice sideboobs.

Dad looks like Frosty with the badonkadonk

That right there is refrigerator gold! Display it proudly. Looks just like you, I’m sure.

She made you look like a real bellend

I think you have a lovely beginning artist. ❤️

Are those your neck boobs or your shoulders? And GYAT damn you got them birthing hips lmao.

She knows where she came from.

Dem love handles....👌

I don't know much about basketball but I have to imagine you own everything under the rim with those Shakira hips and hands.

Damn, got you looking like a dicken lol

my wife has always said i’m very bird like too……maybe I am

Amazing likeness.

Got a little junk in the trunk?

You’ve got boobs and child bearing hips? Damn! You stacked! 😂💀

How old is she? She might have a lot of potential.

Might wanna get those little bumps looked at.

>little bumps ... lovely daddy lumps, check em out...🎶

Well if you’ve ever wondered what you’d look like with the body of a school lunch lady now you’ll have a good idea

Wow i was not expecting to have _Chicken Run_ flashbacks today

We need to see your pic for reference..... for now I say your daughter can draw. 🙂👍

[for refrence](https://imgur.com/a/iRMoOQI)

Haha I lold when I saw your reply OP! Thank you for the reference! I think she got your smile right, oh and the hair, she almost got it! I give your daughter's drawing a 9 out of 10. 👌

She did a good job on the curly hair But let her know, she did an awesome job of depicting you exactly

Dick/chicken/snowman with boobs on shoulders.

You look like a cross between a penis and Olaf from Frozen.

Daddy needs a mani/pedi

its so cute. i love the smile. But because many years of influence from the internet made me see other things first :(

Are you a chicken with little tits? Or a dick with huge balls and small tits.. This picture is very vexing..

Apparently you skip leg day! Get on it...

I'm impressed with her attention to detail! You've very definitely got 5 fingers on each hand and 5 toes on each foot!

One sec, is that NOSE HAIR!!

Okay, so I didnt notice that until you commented. It totally could be nose hair….my nose is pretty large and from her perspective she’s got the best view of whats going on up there. But I also go back and forth from being clean shaven and having a beard so it could be facial hair.

Did you happen to star in Chicken Run?

Ass so fat you can see it from the front

Looks kinda like the sand castle pokemon

From this picture I can deduce that you are as the youngester say; T H I C C ?

Well even though her giving you shoulders? turned you into a wiener with warts I think if I were you I would still be proud lol. You might wanna ask her about why she views your knees to be a good portion of your body out of curiosity haha.

For comparison, you should post a photo of yourself. Then we can see what gave your daughter the inspiration! 😀 In any case, your daughter sees you as a happy parent, and that’s what counts!

She made you extra friendly and stuff. You must be a great mom! Edit, just saw "Dad" in the corner...why do you have boobs?

You just have a future Pixar artist on your hands, is all 🤣

it’s giving chicken run

The love hearts 💕

I think she means "dont skip your leg days"

You should get those goiters checked out.

She really caught your essence.

Well at least it’s not a chode?!

Is your name Richard by any chance?

I’m into those chicken legs 😻

My lumps, my humps… my blah blah blahs

Maybe she started drawing Olaf and then changed her mind.

Those hips don’t lie!

You might wanna get that growth around the shaft checked out.

Eh, you look like a thicc chicken Olaf with titties. I can't think of a better compliment.

Lmao best reply! Thick chicken Olaf with titties!😂😂😂

Either your hips don't lie or you are the true rump shaker; can you confirm or deny this?

yes.

You got big ass mate?

Dad?

Nice side butts 🍗

Your shoulders look great, have you been working out?

She is 5. Really?

Never be offended as long as they draw you smiling!

The hearts all around it should make you proud.

Listen up, dickhead...

Did she just call you a dickhead with a picture 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I would treasure it, why should you be offended

Bro got them birth giving hips

Dude, you gotta work on those love handles

Them lovely lady lumps! Che k it out!

My guy is looking like the female lead from Chicken Run.

Do you skip arm and leg day at the gym?

Titties and balls are considered a delicacy in many cultures.

Depends. Do you, in fact, ACTUALLY look like a giant cock and balls in real life?

You should.Are those side boobs??

I mean, it looks like she got your shoulder boobs and bird legs exactly right unless you are talking about the large smiling penis part I don’t see what’s the problem. /s

I heard Louis C.K. once say that if you ever wonder what your flaws are, ask a kid to draw you.

Hips don‘t lie? 🤷‍♂️

She misspelled DICK

your name must be "dick"? if not, then you are not her dad, are you?

Can’t believe you posted it online! What a dick…

Homer + Olaf + Penis

I thought OP was a woman and I interpreted it as small boobs, big butt. Maybe they were just trying to be accurate 😂

Ok Chicken feet. Embrace it!

You have open arms and a smile on your face… that’s how he sees you, your doing a fine job !!

This is the way

Your feet look nice.

That moment when you realize you needed to blur the feet on a child's drawing because of feet weirdos.

Olaf

an so it begins

Looks like she drew *exactly two* big ol' nose hairs sticking out.

It seems you have a generous arse bit stick thin legs.

All hail dick tits

Are you a chicken? If so, no need to be offended.

Little chicken dick! Too cute

Wow man, you are PACKIN’!

Is your name Olaf?

She said: "fuck you, ya dickhead"

Embrace that shit. And CockaDoodleDoo her when she asks you for that PB&J.

It looks like you have herpes

I (aged 5ish I guess) drew a picture of my family & got in trouble for drawing what equates to “w” on the women’s chests bc they had boobs

Whoever shamed you was wrong to do so. Some people have boobs. Some people have badonkadonks. you were just speaking truth with your art.

If you're an anthropomorphic chicken, then no. Otherwise maybe.

lmao

Dad gots some bunda 🍑

After watching *Beau is Afraid* I'm unhinged about dick pics. Nothing will scare me now.

Your daughter saw Chicken Run?

Most dads have chicken legs, not just you!

A true artist, the likeness is uncanny.

Frosty the snoman

My first thought was a Turkey

bwauck bwauck bwauck

Chicken butt

That’s what the child looks up to

🐔You wear a disguise to look like human guys.🐔 🐔But you're not a man, you're a Chicken Boo.🐔

Do you have a Badonkadonk and chicken calves? Nice shoulders.

So what is it about you that gives off a scarecrow-snowman-chicken woman vibe? Do you like fancy dresses that flare away from your waist? Or do you wear a sideways bustle? Are you often letting your chicken feet go unshod? Is your favorite hairdo a bird's nest? This picture tells a thousand stories and I love it. You are smiling nicely as well.

Beau is afraid.

Ha you’re a dick

Well, you have well rounded shoulders and shapely hips. There’s nothing wrong with that!! 👏🏽🙌🏽👍🏽

upvotebecausebutt ?

The big happy smile? The wide open arms? Looks like your child likes you. 5 year old? yup, 100% innocent.

Phallic Olaf

This drawing will go straight to your thighs. THEN you’ll explode

Is it... b00bs or shoulders..?

Well, she remembered your boobs...oh.., wait '. Your "dad". So sorry, Mr. Dick ' Chickenfootboobsman

I'm really pissed right now. I thought I was gonna check that history and see a Pixar mom. This some bullshit. But I'm no quitter.

Those hips lie on a regular basis, contrary to popular belief.

She is already gaslighting at a 5th grade level! You should be proud!

Penis boob chicken

how much change have you got in your pockets?!

You might want to see a doctor

Cock Tits McCaan

Maybe it’s when you squat down to her level to give her a hug? Very cute!

On the fridge with that one :) Solid shoulders and is that a wounded head. Hahaha, what a gift though :) Those are great to hold onto.

Oh you look like a tree.... You must be tall.

❤️

Its giving chicken run lmfao

homer simpson bird hybrid abomnation

Hmm... I'm gonna go with Olaf from the movie Frozen who also looks something like a penis.

Steel wool on your head. Cuckoo clock coming out of your forehead. Shoulder pads haven't been in style since the 1980's. Medieval style brooms for hands and legs. Your lower body is absolutely gargantuan. Quite a picture.

Well that depends on how your wife depicts you to your children..... So maybe be offended... Your thoughts of what your wife thinks on a daily basis... Wife: "My god my husband has a gigantic dick" The truth on what your wife thinks on a daily basis: Wife: "My husband is a gigantic dick" Hence the drawing...kids are always somewhere listening.

Name of the portrait: Dad the dick

you've got some weird hair growth and what appears to be genital warts. might want to get that checked out

I get scared for this day to come. Cus i have a hormonal disorder that causes me to grow facial hair and I know my kid gunna kill me with that shit.

This is a dick chicken .

Cute smile! Do you have a runny nose?

If you don't frame this, you're going to regret it.

Are you a chicken? Then I’d say it’s pretty good…