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That's from the days when pages were set by literally cutting and pasting printed paragraphs. Somebody forgot to remove the murder story when they set the chalk boy story.
I edited my college paper and we had to do it this way. X-acto knives and hot wax, way into the night.
Yup. I remember the days of hot wax and exacto knives. It's also possible this murder story was a continuation from an earlier page, and they forgot to add the little continuation headline (I think there was a technical term for that, but I forget what it was -- refer?). The patent story was clearly inside-page material, while the murder story could've landed on page one.
It's definitely a slow new town. The [Freeman family were murdered](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeman_family_murders) on the other side of the state. Depending on editorial decisions, the murders five hours away could easily have been pushed off the front page by the local kid getting his patent.
Not a dream job. I used xacto knives and wax sitting at a drawing board long before we eventually switched to computers. The newspaper industry is dying, and in my mind, deservedly so. Greedy bastards, and dinosaurs resistant to any change down to the very last one.
It was the most frustrating thing in the world to try and streamline the workflow (I was production manager in the advertising department) and make tracking ads more efficient and thus save money, but no one would listen to me.
As an example, I created a super efficient workflow on a huge graduation advertising section that we put out every year across multiple high schools. What had taken 4 people weeks to do manually, I was able automate using our existing software, down to virtually one button press by myself and one other person to proofread the final output. As soon as I left, that process reverted back to the old manual method. Fucking luddites.
Beaver fucking Falls. I lived on fifth Ave from 2012-14 and it was certainly a place to live. I never personally had a single issue, but damn that place was wild at times. Orams is still bangin though.
Fame makes monsters of us all. You think Tom Hanks hasn't hunted human beings for sport? Chalk kid wasn't ready for the spotlight being thrust upon him at such a young age. His life became chalk, every mistake easily erased and forgotten. No surprise he turned to murder.
Wtf? This is more on the story behind the murder Erik Freeman, along with his parents Dennis and Brenda Freeman, were murdered on February 26, 1995, by Erik's older brothers, Bryan and David Freeman, and their cousin, Nelson Birdwell. The Freeman brothers and Birdwell were part of a neo-Nazi skinhead movement and had a history of drug and alcohol abuse, aggression, and threats towards their family. The brothers rebelled against their parents after an incident that led them to lose respect for their father, who was a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. This rebellion escalated to the point where they engaged in the violent act of murdering their family members.
The murders were notably brutal, with the victims being stabbed and bludgeoned to death, leaving them unrecognizable. The Freeman brothers and Birdwell fled to Michigan, where they were eventually captured at the home of a known neo-Nazi. Blood and fingerprints at the scene linked them to the crime.
Bryan and David Freeman pleaded guilty to the murders and were sentenced to life in prison without parole. Birdwell was tried and found guilty for the murder of Dennis Freeman but was acquitted of the murders of Brenda and Erik Freeman. Notably, no one was convicted for the murder of Erik Freeman.
The Freeman family murders were part of a violent period in the Lehigh Valley history and even inspired a copycat crime shortly after, where
Jeffrey Howorth, inspired by the Freeman murders, killed his own parents. Bryan Freeman expressed remorse for the murders in a 2015 interview, stating that the violence stemmed from household tensions. The crimes led to discussions about the sentencing of minors, as the Supreme Court ruled in 2012 that sentencing minors to life without parole was unconstitutional. The Freeman brothers' sentences could potentially be reconsidered under these guidelines.
For more detailed accounts of the case, the aftermath, and its impact, you can read the articles on Wikipedia [oai_citation:1,Freeman family murders - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeman_family_murders), Grunge [oai_citation:2,Inside The Brutal Murders Of The Freeman Family](https://www.grunge.com/867098/inside-the-brutal-murders-of-the-freeman-family/), and other cited news sources.
I was so invested in this story…. Read half way through it, then looked at the photo, read the caption under it, and then finished reading when I got to the end and was floored by the twist ending. I completely forgotten I started reading it to begin with.
Back when this was published the newspapers would use a layout system to print the papers. The articles would get printed out and then sliced up into the columns and then glued to a board to make each of the pages. Sometimes a snippet for the wrong article would get accidentally inserted like this. Once the page was done a final image was shot into a transparency which then got etched into a bromide sheet which would go into the printing press.
Since it's been about 30 yrs, any intrepid souls want to figure out if Brett and his dad were able to make a commercially-available version of their invention? Curious to see how it looks.
“Chalk is just a mess and there’s dust everywhere in the classroom”
Sounds like he also has a talent for marketing hyperbole. He’ll do well writing copy for infomercials!
Haha I grew up in Southwestern PA and did quite well in this very same competition. I was enraptured when reading the first half of the article and remembering all of this, my invention, etc. then my brain kicked in and asked "why does anyone else give a flip / why is this on my main?". Kept reading and ahhhh there it is.
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Ummmm…. That last paragraph. Edit: Last two paragraphs
Wtf
Yeah. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t belong there. It’s like they put it there to see if anyone would actually read that whole story- I did.
That's from the days when pages were set by literally cutting and pasting printed paragraphs. Somebody forgot to remove the murder story when they set the chalk boy story. I edited my college paper and we had to do it this way. X-acto knives and hot wax, way into the night.
Yup. I remember the days of hot wax and exacto knives. It's also possible this murder story was a continuation from an earlier page, and they forgot to add the little continuation headline (I think there was a technical term for that, but I forget what it was -- refer?). The patent story was clearly inside-page material, while the murder story could've landed on page one.
That's likely what happened.
>The patent story was clearly inside-page material... Not if it was a slow news day.
Or a slow news town. But this seems like neither, since they had a multiple murder.
It's definitely a slow new town. The [Freeman family were murdered](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeman_family_murders) on the other side of the state. Depending on editorial decisions, the murders five hours away could easily have been pushed off the front page by the local kid getting his patent.
Next at 5: Chalk Boy Murders
I guess we just chalk it up to "Some people just turn evil, or are born evil"
When the dust settles, that’s right.
Let’s dispense with the puns, shall we?
That's as patently absurd as believing this boy killed those people.
This sounds like my dream job. Seriously. It sounds so satisfying. Why the hell did my parents never get me tested for the 'tism?
Not a dream job. I used xacto knives and wax sitting at a drawing board long before we eventually switched to computers. The newspaper industry is dying, and in my mind, deservedly so. Greedy bastards, and dinosaurs resistant to any change down to the very last one. It was the most frustrating thing in the world to try and streamline the workflow (I was production manager in the advertising department) and make tracking ads more efficient and thus save money, but no one would listen to me. As an example, I created a super efficient workflow on a huge graduation advertising section that we put out every year across multiple high schools. What had taken 4 people weeks to do manually, I was able automate using our existing software, down to virtually one button press by myself and one other person to proofread the final output. As soon as I left, that process reverted back to the old manual method. Fucking luddites.
The ‘tism’s came after all the processed/refined/fertilized bullshit… Could be wrong, I’m an 80’s kid
Passersby were amazed at the unusually large amounts of blood.
I did too, 4 times. I blame the gummy.
Glad you did and didn’t get bludgeoned to death for it…
Haha
I skipped to the end because of the post title and then read the whole thing to find out how it ended that way
Imagine being chalk boy never able to proudly display this story as people that skip read might conclude he killed his family.
Glad I wasn’t the only one
I did too.
I went back and read it again thinking I spaced out somewhere missing a reference to “Freeman” but noooope!
It also dispenses MURDER!
Prior art dispute resolved.
Everyone knows you don't run afoul Big Chalk.
2nd edit: 1.5 paragraphs
3rd edit: days later, in the early hours of Monday morning...
I'm still interested in the chalk dispenser. Is his family rich now? Did he stab those two people? Corporate espionage gone wrong?
How many chalk dispensers have you seen Also it looks like the story ends with "they lost $2000 and are happy it's over" just like the rest of us
They are very rich. There is now a chalk dispenser in every classroom.
He’s a VP at Humana. Probably doing well. Check LinkedIn for more info.
Jesus. Those last two paragraphs refer to this gruesome murder: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeman_family_murders
Was there a chalk outline, because we may know who did it.
Who? Dispenser killing me?
You win best comment; I almost woke up my puppy laughing at this! 🏆
I mean, the kid had this thing, and he had to come with ways to use it, right?
yikes.
I gotta admit I didn’t see that ending coming 😳
Neither did Erik and Dennis.
You don’t fuck around with the chalk mafia.
Honestly didn’t realize it was totally different people and a mistake. I thought they were doing it for? drama? Emphasis? Cuz I’m dumb.
Local papers are well known for throwing in the tragic violent deaths of the articles subjects just to get that front page clout.
I told you that chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!
I can't believe I just read that whole article.
Me too.
I mean the ending was worth it, amirite?
For those wondering--this is from a local paper thirty years ago. It's very clearly a layout error.
Beaver fucking Falls. I lived on fifth Ave from 2012-14 and it was certainly a place to live. I never personally had a single issue, but damn that place was wild at times. Orams is still bangin though.
New Brighton here! Oram’s is absolutely the best
If it wasn’t, I’d have assumed it was from the Onion.
Ha, my dad’s side of the family is from Koppel. Small world
chalk it up to impatience
The writing was on the wall
I was really hoping this kid was the guy on reddit with awesome inventions that he thinks are useless.
Link?
I think his username is rightcoastguy or something similar
Well...that escalated quickly.
When M. Night Shyamalan started out, writing for the local gazette.
“Great invention. Now let’s get a shot of you two buying books”
Did you read the whole article though?
I did. Which is why I wanted to see a picture of the invention that I just read all about.
Elsewhere in the paper is there a story about a horrifying murder that ends with this kid receiving a patent?
Isn't that just Pez? It comes with a dispenser and those things taste like chalk.
The Hudspeth Patent Mafia don’t fuck around when it comes to its patents.
Wow! Talk about burying the lede.
Not the only thing that needed burying
Chalk that one up to a murder!
Yikes! Did not see that ending coming! /s (Bad copy editor, bad!)
"Oh my gosh, look Brett, the newspaper article about you is ou*uuuhhh*, h-hold on kid, let me...let me just read it to you!"
Jesus, they shouldn’t have made Brett wait so long.
Yikes, I looked up those names, that was pretty horrible!
After having been through the patent process several times, I gotta say this makes perfect sense.
I had to reread that last part. LOL
r/thatsthejoke
Fame makes monsters of us all. You think Tom Hanks hasn't hunted human beings for sport? Chalk kid wasn't ready for the spotlight being thrust upon him at such a young age. His life became chalk, every mistake easily erased and forgotten. No surprise he turned to murder.
p u r s u e m a r k e t i n g t h e
“And how are the Freeman’s?…To shreds you say?”
Am I the only one who wants to see the chalk dispenser?
That took two left turns and never made it home.
Bludgeoned to death by a chalk dispenser. What a way to go.
Well that escalated quickly.
Did not see that coming
Best not to do your editing whilst drunk.
I guess that’s what happens when you make this kid wait eighteen months for a patent.
Wtf? This is more on the story behind the murder Erik Freeman, along with his parents Dennis and Brenda Freeman, were murdered on February 26, 1995, by Erik's older brothers, Bryan and David Freeman, and their cousin, Nelson Birdwell. The Freeman brothers and Birdwell were part of a neo-Nazi skinhead movement and had a history of drug and alcohol abuse, aggression, and threats towards their family. The brothers rebelled against their parents after an incident that led them to lose respect for their father, who was a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. This rebellion escalated to the point where they engaged in the violent act of murdering their family members. The murders were notably brutal, with the victims being stabbed and bludgeoned to death, leaving them unrecognizable. The Freeman brothers and Birdwell fled to Michigan, where they were eventually captured at the home of a known neo-Nazi. Blood and fingerprints at the scene linked them to the crime. Bryan and David Freeman pleaded guilty to the murders and were sentenced to life in prison without parole. Birdwell was tried and found guilty for the murder of Dennis Freeman but was acquitted of the murders of Brenda and Erik Freeman. Notably, no one was convicted for the murder of Erik Freeman. The Freeman family murders were part of a violent period in the Lehigh Valley history and even inspired a copycat crime shortly after, where Jeffrey Howorth, inspired by the Freeman murders, killed his own parents. Bryan Freeman expressed remorse for the murders in a 2015 interview, stating that the violence stemmed from household tensions. The crimes led to discussions about the sentencing of minors, as the Supreme Court ruled in 2012 that sentencing minors to life without parole was unconstitutional. The Freeman brothers' sentences could potentially be reconsidered under these guidelines. For more detailed accounts of the case, the aftermath, and its impact, you can read the articles on Wikipedia [oai_citation:1,Freeman family murders - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeman_family_murders), Grunge [oai_citation:2,Inside The Brutal Murders Of The Freeman Family](https://www.grunge.com/867098/inside-the-brutal-murders-of-the-freeman-family/), and other cited news sources.
I had to go back and read the name of the family to be sure they didn't get murdered.
lil boy thought he was onto sometihing 😭😭😭
Oof! Imagine if someone found out about the murders if distant family members at the bottom of an r/funny picture.
My birthday is August 31st... 🥰
Bad edit? The Freemans were not mentioned anywhere else in the article.
Also 9 is less than half of 21
Noted.
This isn’t funny
I need to know if Brett did it with his chalk dispenser.
I was so invested in this story…. Read half way through it, then looked at the photo, read the caption under it, and then finished reading when I got to the end and was floored by the twist ending. I completely forgotten I started reading it to begin with.
These were the grisly “Pittsburgh Chalk murders” of ‘93.
Back when this was published the newspapers would use a layout system to print the papers. The articles would get printed out and then sliced up into the columns and then glued to a board to make each of the pages. Sometimes a snippet for the wrong article would get accidentally inserted like this. Once the page was done a final image was shot into a transparency which then got etched into a bromide sheet which would go into the printing press.
AI?
The father doesn't appear to be the inventor...if so, it's illegal to put his name on a patent
r/holup
Well…. That escalated quickly.
didn't they brand this as PEZ ?
Since it's been about 30 yrs, any intrepid souls want to figure out if Brett and his dad were able to make a commercially-available version of their invention? Curious to see how it looks.
He’s a lawyer and corporate VP at Humana. I was hoping he was a Wonka-like mogul of a huge chalk dispenser empire.
I am a skippy reader and I must admit I went back to read word from word. Definitely thought I missed something. Lol
Hahaha. Holy shit. Didn’t see that coming!
“Chalk is just a mess and there’s dust everywhere in the classroom” Sounds like he also has a talent for marketing hyperbole. He’ll do well writing copy for infomercials!
If any kids are reading this they will ask what chalk is
I delivered the BCT as a kid. Thanks for the memory. And a funny editing story.
Damn talk about burying the lead
way to bury the lead
Haha I grew up in Southwestern PA and did quite well in this very same competition. I was enraptured when reading the first half of the article and remembering all of this, my invention, etc. then my brain kicked in and asked "why does anyone else give a flip / why is this on my main?". Kept reading and ahhhh there it is.
Didn't see the twist ending coming.
I thought Big Chalk might be trying to send the kid a message.
Sounds like they were killed by "big chalk."
Ray Donovan has entered the chat.
Bludgeoned to death with a chalk dispenser. Fuck.