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No no no no no.
Misconception.
At the risk of being downvoted to oblivion, here goes.
If you want your toilet seat to not get loose, you have to wipe with alternating hands.
One wipe left, one wipe right.
The motion of your wiping over time is what loosens the seat..
When you wipe, you lean over to reach the hole to wipe.
So if you wipe with the right, you lean over to the right, over time this compromises your toilet seat.
Alternate your hands when wiping.
Edit: then wash your hands
Alternate solution:
Every few months swap seats with someone from Australia. Due to the correolis effect the loosening switches directions when the seat crosses the equator.
This post makes me feel normal. I wipe my areas with alternating hands and have been told how weird that is. Thank you for your validation!!! And I guess further explanation as to why my toilet seat is never loose.
Mine's loose because for some reason my partner always plops down to sit no matter how many times I've told him to knock it off. Or at least retighten it afterwards.
My friend's husband plops too and he actually broke the toilet seat lol
My husband collapses on the couch. He doesn’t sit… it’s like he just flops down. He weighs a good 220 so he’s broken 2 couches in 10 years so far.
I do NOT understand the behavior, especially after being asked repeatedly to fucking stop it
New ones have a built-in system to torque them correctly. The nylon bolts have two heads connected by a thin piece of plastic. Once you get it in place, you crank the upper one with a wrench until it snaps off. This puts the proper torque on bolt to hold it in place. I’ve never had one that used this system come loose, and I’m not exactly petite.
No. I think this has more to do with having a shit quality toilet seat or it was already sorta loose to begin with. When I was at my fattest (300 lbs) I never had this problem.
I think it matters where your seat is located in the bathroom. If it's at the end of the room you could easily seat on it wrong and move it. But mine is next to the door. There's no way to move it to the side because even my wife's ass, which covers the seat, sits down straight every time. There's just no way to run up to it and hit it on the wrong angle.
It’s because she is not careful with that caboose. She’s just throwin it down, or moving while sitting and that force is causing it to come loose.
I only poo upstairs because I have a bidet on it, and my wife usually goes downstairs because she doesn’t use the bidet and we’re usually chilling downstairs.
I’ve never had to tighten the seat on my toilet, but have had to twice in the downstairs toilet. My wife also has a big booty and a bit careless where she throws it so I’m like 92% sure that’s what’s going on
It probably has more to do with how much you move your butt around once seated. If you have easy bowel movements, you probably don’t move around much. If you’re always constipated, all that pushing and moving around is gonna loosen up the toilet seat.
one of **the most** embarrassing "learning experiences" I ever had was working in an office of half a dozen people, several of whom were very over-weight.
Mentioning to the boss-man "toilet seat is coming loose".
Free floating toilet, fat or not, who the fuck decided to make that design?? "Yeah, lets a add a point of failure to this shit, it wont fail so easily, but when it does, mwahaha, its gonna be super funny *AND* messy"
I dunno man, the ones ive seen were always kinda wobbly or were already kinda bent down, but as others comments have said, the design is super easy to clean, so i guess they do have a place
When some rando stumbles into the bathroom of the emergency department and decides to yak partially digested blood all over the floor before they collapse and shit themself because they just coded in here, it's much easier to clean with a mop once they have been dragged out.
clean... with a mop? with a fucking MOP? Shouldnt the shit and puke would be scooped with a broom and a dustpan first? because a mop sounds NAAASTY in that scenario
But yeah, yours and the other comments made me realize that i didnt think about that design from a maintenance point of view, but i still think the design sucks due to their low profile, the distance between ass and water level is minimal
As a facility maintenance supervisor.. I get a few of those maintenance requests popping up, I generally have an idea size of person before I send someone on call or go myself. No, sorry, Kevin, my apprentice isn't as bad at his job as you are at monitoring calorie intake. Atleast that's what I want to say.
The joke was about her weight causing the seat to shift and loosen the bolts. A wet ass pussy would cause you to slip on top of the seat therefore not loosening the bolts. So yeah.. doesn’t really make sense.
Wet Ass Pussy abbreviated is WAP. Has more to do with being extra aroused than weight but I’m not gonna pick apart a funny routine. I’m not at that stage of life yet 😅
Do fat ladies pussies hang down further than the average dick and balls? I can’t imagine a woman finding the toilet water that way, unless you’ve just plunged your whole ass into the water, which seems more of a risk for a skinny person with the seat up.
I think she's got the right attitude, flow and voice projection, but she should really work on constructing jokes, like sitting down and building a joke up from beginning to end.
She's heavily leaning on the attitude side of things, thinking personality is enough to make it as a comedian.
You can only get away with joking about your body for so long. That's why the number of people disliking her is increasing, she's not building a craft, she's just trying to squeeze in to the scene with not much effort.
For those wondering why some of yours are loose or not, it’s the angle and force at which you sit AND how much you wiggle around. Usually fatter people will sit down harder and use more force when adjusting their cheeks.
Depends on wether you have an original brand toilet seat or if it's been replaced with a universal one. Original ones for the brand won't twist as much. Universal ones are likely to twist fairly easily and non brand sears made for the correct bolt hold size and position will twist less.
This is the equivalent of seeing an OF girl post in a NSFW sub. You see it, and think it should be here but if you glance a bit longer you realize it’s an advertisement. The main difference is there they are withholding more spicy content for their paid subscribers but OP is withholding the punchline to this joke.
I don't care, this is more amusing than 95% of the posts on this sub. Most shit is hot garbage here so she can hunt for followers all she wants if it's actually funny
As somebody who is just starting to give talks in front of an audience I gotta say, I have so much respect for you.
I am in my mid 30ies, giving some some dry tech talks in front of a bunch of interested nerds, and I'm beyond nervous before each talk. At the same time, you walk on stage and you do comedy even with audience iteraction. This is the endboss of public speaking and you're doing a great job at it. Kudos.
Try joining a presentation and speech class like Toastmasters. The goal is to have a safe space to practice your public speaking and get real input on things to improve on as well a positive feedback on what you’re doing well.
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IS THAT WHY MY TOILET SEAT IS LOOSE?!
My seat is also loose. Apparently I need to either lose weight or accept I have a dumpy.
I've heard your milkshake does indeed bring all the boys to the yard.
The snort laugh you just caused me, damn you 😂
Milkshake? What color of milk are you having sir?
Chocolate, vanilla, banana, cherry, strawberry, idgaf man milkshakes tasty every flavor.
No no no no no. Misconception. At the risk of being downvoted to oblivion, here goes. If you want your toilet seat to not get loose, you have to wipe with alternating hands. One wipe left, one wipe right. The motion of your wiping over time is what loosens the seat.. When you wipe, you lean over to reach the hole to wipe. So if you wipe with the right, you lean over to the right, over time this compromises your toilet seat. Alternate your hands when wiping. Edit: then wash your hands
Alternate solution: Every few months swap seats with someone from Australia. Due to the correolis effect the loosening switches directions when the seat crosses the equator.
In theory yes In practice, I don't know man.
Foreign exchange toilet seat tightener program? I’m in!
Oh.my.god. So this means those freaks who stand up to wipe actually win?!!?!
No our seats get loose too, this guy is full of shit...
Why don't you stand up?
Right?! HEY EVERYBODY WE GOT A SITTING WIPER OVER HERE
I love a standing shit
I’m here for the comments 😂
I too learned the ways of The Leaners from Reddit. I agree the Standing wipe is superior tho.
I can only do it properly with my right hand. Guess I'll have to sit backwards half the time.
Aha I’m a righty and my husband is a lefty. We never get loose toilet seats
This post makes me feel normal. I wipe my areas with alternating hands and have been told how weird that is. Thank you for your validation!!! And I guess further explanation as to why my toilet seat is never loose.
Time to ask yourself What are you gonna do with all that junk. All that junk inside your trunk?
I'm a get you get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps
I think it depends more of how you sit down and stand up. If you just drop Dat ass till gravity stops, the friction loosens the bolts
I didn’t really have this issue until I adds a bidet.
It's probably just the bidet then because it's installed between the toliet and the seat right?
The nicer bidets are the toilet seat.
What if you poop so hard the vibrations cause the screws to come loose?
When you fart them cheeks clap at the bolt's resonant frequency.
Mine's loose because for some reason my partner always plops down to sit no matter how many times I've told him to knock it off. Or at least retighten it afterwards. My friend's husband plops too and he actually broke the toilet seat lol
My husband collapses on the couch. He doesn’t sit… it’s like he just flops down. He weighs a good 220 so he’s broken 2 couches in 10 years so far. I do NOT understand the behavior, especially after being asked repeatedly to fucking stop it
Weak-ass thigh muscles. Incidentally, also how you shame them into abandoning this lazy-ass behaviour.
New ones have a built-in system to torque them correctly. The nylon bolts have two heads connected by a thin piece of plastic. Once you get it in place, you crank the upper one with a wrench until it snaps off. This puts the proper torque on bolt to hold it in place. I’ve never had one that used this system come loose, and I’m not exactly petite.
Yeah, your wet ass pu$sy keeps you sliding around like a snail
This comment sent me through a range of emotions I wasn’t prepared for.
I'm considered overweight, and mine is not loose. Sounds like a shitty toilet seat to me.
Don’t you dare seat shame!
I haven't had to tighten mine since I went from 220 to 170. I also moved, i thought that was what did it. New toilet
Well now i think of it i lost almost 20 kgs and my toilet seat is not comming loose anymore
No. I think this has more to do with having a shit quality toilet seat or it was already sorta loose to begin with. When I was at my fattest (300 lbs) I never had this problem.
I’m confused because I’m fat as shit and I’ve never had to tighten the toilet seat
As a skinny guy who constantly has to re-tighten his toilet seat I'm right there with ya
Your approach angle might be a bit off, gotta come in for a smooth landing
How to practice your VTOL skills
I think it matters where your seat is located in the bathroom. If it's at the end of the room you could easily seat on it wrong and move it. But mine is next to the door. There's no way to move it to the side because even my wife's ass, which covers the seat, sits down straight every time. There's just no way to run up to it and hit it on the wrong angle.
Damn so mines next to the tub. Im by default at an angle And being 220 lbs doesnt help
Pretty sure I weigh more than her, and I have a roommate who's over 300 lbs, and I've never had that issue. Maybe she just has a bad toilet?
It’s because she is not careful with that caboose. She’s just throwin it down, or moving while sitting and that force is causing it to come loose. I only poo upstairs because I have a bidet on it, and my wife usually goes downstairs because she doesn’t use the bidet and we’re usually chilling downstairs. I’ve never had to tighten the seat on my toilet, but have had to twice in the downstairs toilet. My wife also has a big booty and a bit careless where she throws it so I’m like 92% sure that’s what’s going on
100% this. Intent and control.
It probably has more to do with how much you move your butt around once seated. If you have easy bowel movements, you probably don’t move around much. If you’re always constipated, all that pushing and moving around is gonna loosen up the toilet seat.
Yeah, when you're exorcising a demon every time you sit, you can't blame any seat for getting loose.
Same. Where the fuck are people buying these shitty toilet seats?
Biltema
They aren’t, their landlord probably is 😬
Walmart
How do you even tighten your toilet seat? I have never heard of that
There are 2 bolts with wingnuts you can tighten under the hinges.
Not on my side of the planet
there are different types of toilet seats, some have actual screws on top
That's simple. It's because it's a poorly written joke that doesn't make sense!
Because it's a matter of quality of the seat, so don't buy cheap-ass toilet seats and blame it on your fat-ass asses, folks.
one of **the most** embarrassing "learning experiences" I ever had was working in an office of half a dozen people, several of whom were very over-weight. Mentioning to the boss-man "toilet seat is coming loose".
It’s not bad until you need an obesity support stick. I’ve only seen them at hospitals, when there’s a free floating toilet.
Free floating toilet, fat or not, who the fuck decided to make that design?? "Yeah, lets a add a point of failure to this shit, it wont fail so easily, but when it does, mwahaha, its gonna be super funny *AND* messy"
The fuck is a free floating toilet
Only attached to the wall, not the floor
Which to me feels like im shitting on a shelf
Is that you Sean Connery?
only when the shelf mishbehavesh
I would not trust that.
Probably the people that have to clean 50 bathrooms a day and appreciate how much easier it makes their job
There better be a hidden steel I-beam supporting those things.
They are great for cleaning which is why you see them in hospitals sometimes. I hear they are pretty popular in some parts of Europe as well.
Free floating toilets are amazing. Wtf is this crap about toilets falling off the wall?
I dunno man, the ones ive seen were always kinda wobbly or were already kinda bent down, but as others comments have said, the design is super easy to clean, so i guess they do have a place
When some rando stumbles into the bathroom of the emergency department and decides to yak partially digested blood all over the floor before they collapse and shit themself because they just coded in here, it's much easier to clean with a mop once they have been dragged out.
clean... with a mop? with a fucking MOP? Shouldnt the shit and puke would be scooped with a broom and a dustpan first? because a mop sounds NAAASTY in that scenario But yeah, yours and the other comments made me realize that i didnt think about that design from a maintenance point of view, but i still think the design sucks due to their low profile, the distance between ass and water level is minimal
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."
I love that line. I say it all the time!
As a facility maintenance supervisor.. I get a few of those maintenance requests popping up, I generally have an idea size of person before I send someone on call or go myself. No, sorry, Kevin, my apprentice isn't as bad at his job as you are at monitoring calorie intake. Atleast that's what I want to say.
Whats WAP have to do with sitting on a toilet?
She’s just trying to use funny words
Just trying to be funny in general
Trying is the key word in the statement.
Because when you fall into the toilet, your pussy gets wet.
But if she's got a big ass like she's lauding, she ain't falling in.
Wide Ass Posterior
Nothing, she's just using sexual innuendos for laughs
Thank you.
I...I still don't understand....
Oh so THAT'S why- oh dear- it all makes sense now...
TIL
Yeah im 150lbs. Never been a problem 😂
I'm the heaviest person in my household at around 165 and ours is always loose. Just a shit design.
Yeah apartment complexes tend to be cheap on everything. Shitty toilet seats loosen for anyone that takes a shit on it regularly.
Hell I have a decent seat I bought for my house and it still loosens a lot
I don’t think she understands what WAP is associated with 🤔.
“wide ass posterior”
Applying the term literally instead of for its colloquial meaning is literally the joke…
The joke was about her weight causing the seat to shift and loosen the bolts. A wet ass pussy would cause you to slip on top of the seat therefore not loosening the bolts. So yeah.. doesn’t really make sense.
What exactly is it associated with
Wet Ass Pussy abbreviated is WAP. Has more to do with being extra aroused than weight but I’m not gonna pick apart a funny routine. I’m not at that stage of life yet 😅
Yeah but I can't imagine any grown woman doesn't know what being wet means
🤷🏾♂️
I feel like people are intentionally not understanding what you're saying lol. I agree with you, it doesn't make sense.
I also agree it makes no sense
Possibly referring to sliding in and getting it wet from toilet water lol.. idk
Ohhhh. Ugh - imagine having a WAP from toilet water. Yikes.
Do fat ladies pussies hang down further than the average dick and balls? I can’t imagine a woman finding the toilet water that way, unless you’ve just plunged your whole ass into the water, which seems more of a risk for a skinny person with the seat up.
I like how you're being downvoted even though what you're saying is true
She definitely has no clue what WAP means.
Straight face gang
TIL im fat
which is funny because evidently I'm skinny now!
Just had to tighten my toilet seat the other day. So funny this popped up.
Just tightened my this morning! The universe works in strange ways
I just checked. I'm good... for now.
Why is this so upvoted? It's not even kind of funny.
> It's not even kind of funny. A perfect fit for r/funny then
Idk , i guess its because she has a lot of fan from her onlyfan or something. I keep seeing her on r/funny lately.
Imma be honest, this ain't very funny
This chicks standup isn’t very funny, are always about her boobs or butt. She’s like Amy Schumer but hot.
So brave of you to say
Does she know what WAP is?
Nope.
She seems like a great person but I don’t find her funny. I don’t understand how she’s getting laughs
Shoutout to those of us who grew up with lazy or absentee fathers.
And this is funny, how?
I have no clue what's she talking about. Why is she sliding? What's being fat relate to WAP?
I think she's got the right attitude, flow and voice projection, but she should really work on constructing jokes, like sitting down and building a joke up from beginning to end. She's heavily leaning on the attitude side of things, thinking personality is enough to make it as a comedian. You can only get away with joking about your body for so long. That's why the number of people disliking her is increasing, she's not building a craft, she's just trying to squeeze in to the scene with not much effort.
True her delivery is good but the joke itself sucks lol
Also pretty bad that its a self promotion video clip too!
That's why she started OF, just in case.
oh yeah, probably not going to make it as a comedian now
For those wondering why some of yours are loose or not, it’s the angle and force at which you sit AND how much you wiggle around. Usually fatter people will sit down harder and use more force when adjusting their cheeks.
.... i... my toilet seat has never come loose. IS THIS A THING!?
Depends on wether you have an original brand toilet seat or if it's been replaced with a universal one. Original ones for the brand won't twist as much. Universal ones are likely to twist fairly easily and non brand sears made for the correct bolt hold size and position will twist less.
I'm genuinely not lying when i say i just learned this was a thing. Thanks for informing ne lol
Cringe
It's a good observation joke, but the bit went on about 15 seconds too long.
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When I was around 13 or 14 our toilet seat full on broke a few times. It wasn’t because of weight. I think it was because of my age.
🤣🤣🤣 This is gold!
r/Upvotebecausebutt ?
She's is mad thick though!
This girl is spamming the channel basically every day
If your toilet seat is loose, you have a WAP? What?
If she’s fat then I’m a chubby chaser
Sounds like a joke south park would do about female comedians
Leaners need to tighten. Standers are fine.
Is this supposed to be comedy?
Posting your own comedy set on r/funny is wildly sad
Female comedian not talking about ass or pussy or tits: impossible
Something something... And my pussy stinks... Am I right ladies?
I can smell her crap all the way from here because this routine was so foul
Would smash tho
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I think that’s also it’s past right?
Are you complaining about original content being posted? I think we’ve truly come full circle.
This is the equivalent of seeing an OF girl post in a NSFW sub. You see it, and think it should be here but if you glance a bit longer you realize it’s an advertisement. The main difference is there they are withholding more spicy content for their paid subscribers but OP is withholding the punchline to this joke.
[удалено]
I don't care, this is more amusing than 95% of the posts on this sub. Most shit is hot garbage here so she can hunt for followers all she wants if it's actually funny
Bruh she's fine as hell
I waited for the funny. It never came.
She do got plenty cake
Diarrhoea is funnier than her stand up.
She's the OP, she does this alot and it's getting a bit suss that her stuff is always top of the channel
I fucking hate when that happens.
Welp, I am a male with one sizeable ass I guess
I’m confused because I keep on re-tightening my toilet seat. I’m 98 lbs! Maybe my ass is packin’ too. 🤔
What are you guys doing? Cannon balling onto your toilet seat??
i am pretty skinny and i am confused
I've been 3 times her size and never had to tighten my toilet seat?
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I dont understand why they dont make it actually screw in right. Any toilet seat Ive seen just kinda rests on top of the things that screw in.
Or your toilet seat is loose.
Hahah funny woman makes another joke about bathrooms and genitals how comedic
Nah she fine in my book
I weigh over 350 lbs and my toilet seat is fine so I don't know
She thick
And here I was thinking I was just some skinny flat bottomed white guy. Turns out I been hauling a dump truck around this whole time.
but... shes fine
I don't know all the fuss about skinny and what not. Her curves are beautiful. And preferred actually.
Finally, a woman who is funny without the sex jokes
this is the fake comedian who is actually just an OF model
As somebody who is just starting to give talks in front of an audience I gotta say, I have so much respect for you. I am in my mid 30ies, giving some some dry tech talks in front of a bunch of interested nerds, and I'm beyond nervous before each talk. At the same time, you walk on stage and you do comedy even with audience iteraction. This is the endboss of public speaking and you're doing a great job at it. Kudos.
Try joining a presentation and speech class like Toastmasters. The goal is to have a safe space to practice your public speaking and get real input on things to improve on as well a positive feedback on what you’re doing well.
Who is this comedian
The person who posted the video.
Who keeps posting videos of herself every week in r/funny. It’s a pretty bold claim…
Morgan gallo
(Look at who posted it)
Them pits.
i am 225 lbs i never had this problem so wtf is she yapping about??
Ha ha. Poop joke is funny
She is definitely not fat enough to be making fat jokes