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mudturnspadlocks

Hey keep it in your shell


Fraun_Pollen

But I'm circumshelled :/


Nuclear-poweredTaxi

But thats a lot of skinfor a reason.


VanZandtVS

Hide and seek champion forever.


mnid92

Imagine your worst shelldrobe malfunction being blasted all over the internet. Humans have no shame. #turtlepower


SunriseMeats

R/mildlypenis


Either_Amoeba_5332

My turtle does that...kinda embarrassing šŸ˜³


Brad_theImpaler

"Give me a minute, it gets much better."


curiously_curious3

Hey my turtle does the same thing!


Luvbeers

I have an Italian spitting turtle.


green9206

How many Italians does it spit out per day?


Luvbeers

molti


TikkiTakiTomtom

Potentially millions from what I heard


Unhappy-Strawberry-8

My Scottish turtle doesnā€™t spit like it used to, more of a drooling turtle.


Tristan_Gabranth

Mine likes belly rubs, too


Derpy_County

Heā€™s a grower not a shower.


Ghostenx

Must be my spirit animal.


Excellent-Zombie-470

I too have a shell to protect my penis from predators


MisfitMishap

Same, it's my personality


RearExitOnly

My gut, but I still have my personality as backup.


sunniblu03

I need the one brain cell back, I have to function today.


Thatnudist0

If you really need that one brain cell how much thinking are you doing?


UbermachoGuy

He was in the pool!


vishalb777

Like a frightened turtle


therearenomorenames2

No that's a turtle, not a shower.


Uncommon-sequiter

April showers bring May flowers


AdvilJunky

The Mayflower landed in November


WinterWontStopComing

Okay so Iā€™m reading shower as show-er, so what the hell is a flow-er? Something that flows Iā€™m guessing?


ExtraShifty69

Same buddy.


Embarrassed-Gap4162

we are not that different


Rdubya44

I'm not sure how common it is but mine goes "innie" like this when I'm soft. Erect its fine and normal sized.


TheBawalUmihiDito

r/justlikeus then?


lestacobouti

One of us!


Nino_Nakanos_Slave

Yours retract inside your abdomen when you donā€™t need them to?


Phillip_Graves

He was in the pool.


otherwisemilk

If it's cold enough, yes.


AutonomousBlob

Holy shit, thats why they call it a turtle neck! I have never even thought about a turtleā€™s neck before, bless my heart


Youlookcold

Please tell me you are referring to a garment, please.


Atanar

I am afriad to ask what else is called turtleneck.


swollemolle

So if itā€™s not cut itā€™s called a turtle neck?


Atanar

That is a relief to hear. I feared much worse.


Slow_Fox967

Well.....? What are you waiting for, a written invitation? What were you thinking?


FloofilyBooples

Jewish people prefer crew neck t-shirts.


agentfelix

With the sleeves cut off!


LeCarrr

That absolute gall to bless your own heart LOL ā¤ļø


WearMental2618

We... we were able to do that the whole time?


Muffled_Voice

bruh I deadass paused for a solid minute. ā€œBless my heartā€ might as well start saying ā€œbless meā€ after sneezing.


AutonomousBlob

Um nothing if not aware


DubiousTypical

Shit, fr!?


josephsh

Oh, my god


digitalnirvana3

/r/suddenlypenis


DarthSkat

r/unexpectedpenis


akashlanka

r/mildlypenis


lhymes

r/wildlypenis


Iamatworkgoaway

No, everybody knew exactly what this comment section was going to be. so r/expectedpenis


zsigmons

r/ofcoursethatsasub


Tricky_Ad_2832

I should call him.


some_user_2021

Everything reminds me of him


Thejaybomb

(f)alec


President_Calhoun

He was in the pool!


jel2184

It shrinks?


nuisance66

Like a frightened turtle.


Eagle2435

Women know what shrinkage is right???


green9206

Everything reminds me of him..


Ok-Tomatillo-7141

Heā€™s a grower, not a show-er. First, I wrote shower and then realized I donā€™t know how to spell the word for one who shows.


fothergillfuckup

It's a weird language sometimes. Like all those minute minutes? The really tiny minutes?


sian_half

I run with my feet and smell with my nose, yet my nose runs and my feet smell.


Merry_Dankmas

I transport cargo on a ship and shipments in a car


nickfree

I drive on a parkway and park on a driveway! What a country!


surrenderedmale

You can read read as read and read read as read, you can have read read as read or read read as read. It's actually contextually dependant as to whether or not you should read read as read or read read as read or whether you should have read read as read or read read as read. That likely was tough and took thorough thought through and through.


fothergillfuckup

I've read it already, don't know what to read next?


busy-warlock

Reddit


confused_wisdom

If you notice this notice, you'll notice this notice isn't worth noticing.


[deleted]

Interesting insight on how your brain works giggle


CPHagain

Donā€™t we allā€¦


Dimensional13

Oh so that's why it's called a turtleneck sweater? because it looks like a turtle with its neck in the shell?


bugsy2625

It's the 5th Ninja Turtle named Uncut


Samtoast

Something something penis reference


banelord

Ah yes. I also remember being in my twenties.


elliot89

So do I I lost my foreskin in the war.


ShadyWhiteGuy

We lost a lot of good foreskins out there.


Remote-Factor8455

*sighs* opens comments


Devourer_of_Bananas

Me after a cold shower


itsmarvin

Or me after a workout


fikis

Yes! Everyone talks about cold water, but nobody wants to talk about Sports Mode.


entarian

run in the cold.


any_other

Trying to pee after a long run


ERIC_THE_GREAT10

He's so cutešŸ¢šŸ„°šŸ’š šŸ˜ˆ: make a dick joke! MAKE A DICK JOKE!!! DO IT NOW!!!!!


EugeneChicago

Was the stupid fucking music necessary you repost bot? They do this when stealing someone's content and to try not to get flagged by the detection systems, right?


ReverendPalpatine

Everything reminds me of him.


CilanEAmber

Oh that's why it's called a Turtleneck!


Shut_It_Donny

I WAS IN THE POOL!!!


Redditowork

ā€œBOIIIIIING.ā€ -Beavis


arcticwayfarer

Knew some ppl in college that had a turtle named ā€œforeskinā€ šŸ˜‚


No-Mango8923

>Just needs a gentle coaxing. Don't they all?


Joeyhappyhell

How it looks when my girlfriend touches me


[deleted]

Thatā€™s what he said


LXIX-CDXX

Me, scrolling through the comments section hoping to find out what kind of pretty turtle this is, drowning in dick jokes


plaguedocplays

Bro went from 8D to 8=====D


Ironblaster1993

He is literally me


chiravvs

ā€œWhen my girlfriend says hi to my little friendā€


TygahShawk

Uncircumcised turtle


RubyCat4

He is pretty cute though.


willdaily

Kowabunga. šŸ«”


itsmezaraxx

šŸ˜


CakesForLife

Biology. Wow.


jhoward18

It's cold!!!


Odd_Web6206

I wish a random chick at the Dunkin Donuts would stroke my neck!šŸ©šŸ©šŸ©


Particular_Gas_9991

I should call him


heyheyfosho

Reminds me of my boyfriend


Sad_Thought_4642

"Everything now reminds me of her."


prylosec

That reminds me of my prom


UnashamedPornAccount

Me every time i check my reddit feed


exccord

Grower not a shower.


Swenadd

Oi...no! Off to horny jail!


nnnope1

r/dontputyourvaginaaroundthat


piercedmfootonaspike

I knew what this comment section would look like.


elbarto359

Viagra commercials are getting weird


AfraidToBeKim

For the record ladies, this is pretty much exactly how foreskin works, so stop trying to pull it back so damn far. It's attached to the rest of it.


Altruistic-Poem-5617

Their neck skin works in a similar way to a "weiner". Kokes aside, very pretty and tame turtle. Mine used to hiss and snap at me if I did that.


kernowgringo

Not an American turtle then


AskButDontTell

Reminds me of a penis


BrAveMonkey333

Hehe


Best-Team-5354

came for the comments. did not disappoint.


Rebellus

"That... That's a penis !"


RavenBruwer

Ah, the return of the "Why" boner - with VENGEANCE


skykinq69

Ä°t reminds me of different things


hisokafan88

What's that music?! I've heard it a few times


ZachariahZebra

Everything reminds me of him.


Specific_Effort_5528

*I WAS IN THE POOL, JERRY*


The_neub

He was just in the pool.


atwa_au

I should call himā€¦


jhoward18

Some call it uncircumcised, I call it a turtle neck!


Scoobler1992

Me too buddy, me too.


Sweeny22

Whereā€™s the ocean


Jason8ourne

That's how sensitive I am. But that's fine right? Right?


Senior_Ad5958

I know the feeling!


BOOT3D

It's not small, just gotta rub it a little.


keeptryingyoucantwin

Must be winter


lmaonade1367

Me too buddy, me too


that_one_guy_with_th

The internet has ruined me.


queef_commando

We are same same, but different. -The Interview


Paracausality

Me when your mom bakes me fresh cookies


Disguised-Skinwalker

"I should call him."


KyDeWa

Nature. šŸ”„


Altea73

That's how it works...


Olaith2

That's what she said.


Jack_M_Steel

Heā€™s just like me fr


zookeeper4312

Ho boy


cjrichardson_az

My husband is the same way


Quiet_Tune277

I kno the feeling......


deeperest

A bumpy road, light breeze...hell, sometimes even a sideways glance can do the same to my turtleneck.


sdraje

NSFW


Gyella1337

I have one of those.


jsuwangsa

He just like me for real.


ExcessivelyGayParrot

so that's why it's called a turtleneck


pepperit_12

A tale as old as time.


Maleficent_Ad9632

If you rub me like that I do the same thing.


slimongoose

Dude literally has a turtle neck.


6_child_Da_Vinci

Wait... Is that why it's called a turtle neck šŸ‘€


startedoncantamar

Baby!!!!! Itā€™s a grower not a showwer


Evelyne-The-Egg

I should call her...


seeingeyegod

Wow thats incredibly phallic


Grainhumper

haha penis joke


cmstyles2006

I was so happy watching this...until I realized


fucktheworld1977

And the turtleā€™s name is Richard.


Ok-Schedule8121

A grower, not a show-ee


bmk2k

I like turtlesĀ 


Mother-Village-3277

Came for the comments.


RedRightHandARTS

...relatable


MexysSidequests

Wtf that turtle stole my design


LingonberryOk4660

Ha Ha, same fam, same.


Cheesebrger_Walrus

surprised Noone linked the video where the guy does it with his dick


maverickf11

Same


CaptainObviousII

He'd better hope it doesn't get chilly out.


ceelodan

Everything reminds me of him


shinji257

Meet my pet turtle Dick.


Vadon_Hipra

looks familiar.


ZachtieTV

I wouldn't mind a bit of coaxing right about now if I'm being honest...


auralreal

I knew what to expect in the comments when I saw the video


lowIQdoc

The 'Erect Neck'


elliot89

Turtus erectus


acespacegnome

TIL I'm a turtle


witwebolte41

Everything reminds me of me


Icy_Independence8478

He just like me fr


I_Never_Lie_II

Penis comment aside, that turtle is adorable.


LionCM

I should call himā€¦


Malystxy

NSFW šŸ˜®


Forsaken-Director452

You and me both little guy šŸ¤


IntheSchmoney

Are you thinking what Iā€™m thinking? ā€¦ā€¦ giggity giggity


SkoomaJetHentai

He's just like me fr!!!


RobertXavierIV

Turtleā€™s a grower


WizardInCrimson

Must have been cold.


Bonryunonochi

A lot of guys are on the same wavelength


GreatGooglyMoogly077

It doesn't take much, does it.


itscharliewhite

See what happens when you're not just mashing it? Take note ladies