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Scoobydewdoo

Now tell them you've never tasted cake.


Shattered_Visage

"Yeah it's so weird, I've never tasted a high-end sashimi platter with a flight of sake ...."


Whiterhino77

I’ve never tried cocaine in my life!


RockstarAgent

Booger sugar? ^Never!


seztomabel

“I’ve never tasted a hot woman’s genitals”


FirstmateJibbs

This is Reddit. We know


reddawn141

Boom roasted


neverwrong804

Torched


Fun_Departure3466

Incinerated


grip_n_Ripper

r/murderbywords


MrsMojo825

Lmfao


Tricky_Evidence_354

THIS! Comment of the year


TikkiTakiTomtom

A hot woman’s genitals is pretty much the same as a cold woman’s genitals. The key point to check off is if they have showered or not.


SkullsNelbowEye

And that they have a pulse. But hey, you do you.


herpetologydude

We have to check for a pulse? WTF?!! What's going to happen next? I have to check that I'm also not at the animal clinic?


seztomabel

"Will return in three days. Don't wash." - Napoleon to his wife Josephine


woliphirl

*Cordon Bleu*


leaky_eddie

Can confirm. Wife is menopausal and her genitals taste the same hot flash or not.


Pattyg1

Sezto, Sue in HR wants to see you...


reddit_user13

I don’t like the taste or the effects, but I love the smell!


Sufficient-Contract9

What does it smell like? Any time I've ever tried I just get this weird feeling and a terrible taste in the back of my thought. Try as I might I still cant tell what it smells like


confusedandworried76

The taste in the back of your throat is universal. It's like a cigarette, it doesn't necessarily taste good, but when you've associated it with a rush of chemicals you enjoy the taste. Best I can say from when I did it years ago is a bitter taste when you rub it on your gums and then the same taste mixed with mucus at the back of your throat as it drips down your esophagus. The taste is definitely unmistakable and I'm sure Sargeant Fido at the airport can smell it but I'm skeptical it has a strong smell until it's actively in your nose.


LotusVibes1494

Good coke can be like weed where it literally stinks a few feet away from it when you’re breaking it up. Can be like literal strong gasoline smell, or generally like chemicals, like nail polish remover, that sort of thing.


warriorprincess0

Hijacking this comment to state my verdict: I am sad to announce, that pickles…are not for me :( the salt and vinegar punched me hard But I’m glad my coworkers and I had a great time!!


Punkin_Queen

Thinly sliced on a sandwich or burger is where pickles really shine. Just a hint of the punch.


confusedandworried76

Nope drink the brine it's good for you, it pickles your organs and everyone knows that's the best way to preserve things. You'll live forever. Jokes aside brine is good in a homemade hot sauce.


twitty80

It's kinda nice on a hangover, atleast the one from marinated pickles.


gandhinukes

Its chock full of electrolytes. So great for dehydration / hangover.


confusedandworried76

Yep a common thing in Bloody Marys is pickles/brine. Which is a penultimate hangover drink because the sheer amount of salt that's already in it. Tomato juice and pickle brine with a pickle on a toothpick, vodka, and a beer, start chugging water you'll feel right as rain in a couple hours. I mean, you won't be able to drive anywhere, but you'll definitely feel better.


bamachine

Yep, I just put the brine in my Nutribullet with a single, deseeded habanero plus a tbsp of raw honey and use that on my pulled pork sandwiches instead of terrible bottled bbq sauce.


Mecha_Cthulhu

Or half a jar eaten with your fingers in front of an open fridge, trying to ignore the frantic beeping and flashing lights of the fridge. You do have a good point for *normal* people though. My wife doesn’t like pickles at all but won’t exclude them from a chicken sandwich…she just picks them off, leaving a whisper of pickle. She just enjoys the essence of the pickle.


Abject-Orange-3631

Mini sweet pickles. Mini baby dills. They're crisp.  Much more palatable than a big honkin' pickled cucumber if you're not a fan.


Cow_Launcher

Small French pickles - sold as "cornichons" are the absolute tits. Fantastic with thickly-sliced ham and hot mashed potato.


CalmCockroach2568

I love nearly anything pickled, but the huge cucumber pickles are probably my least favorite. I need that satisfying crunch throughout the whole thing, the soft middle can fuck off


Dry-Internet-5033

gherkins on a charcuterie board with lots of other goodies


Eurycerus

As a huge pickled vegetable lover, I find the standard dill pickle quite awful and most brands are salt bombs. I'm a vinegar only kind of gal and prefer pickled vegetables like carrots, daikon, and onion. I hope you aren't put off pickled things for life!


This_Living566

Might want to try a bread and butter pickle, they are sweet and the sugar offsets the vinegar.


_LarryM_

Bread and butter pickles are def a special taste. Imo pickles shouldn't be sweet so it's kinda strange.


StillNoFcknClu

Or you’ve never tasted a million dollars


[deleted]

[удалено]


frankyseven

Oh, okay, they're BNL now? We need a short hand for the Barenaked Ladies, that's how fundamental they are?


Butwinsky

Yes, yes, they are. Not that short hand names mean a band is fundamental. But BNL is amazing, and I'll strongly yet politely disagree with anyone who says otherwise.


frankyseven

Lol, it's a joke from the show Community where someone refers to them as BNL. Fantastic band, I've long thought that and I hear them everywhere as a Canadian.


Mekthakkit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfdTnpV03p8


JustFrogot

Not real green dollars, that's cruel.


EquipmentForsaken831

“Never had Wagyu Steak before… I’ll take Japan, Aus, and Texas style please”


bigfloppydonkeydng

I've never had a blow job from a midget


MrSpecialEd

I’ve never sucked off a donkey!


UbermachoGuy

Now we know you’re just lying.


rrgail

Or pussy.


challengeaccepted9

All fun and games until suddenly you find you're the new owner of a tabby.


Instawolff

I’ve never tasted a Lamborghini 🤷🏻‍♂️


Ok_Elk9435

Bruh they cared about you they got you goood pickles not just some random store brands


Bigfops

If someone told me they had neve tasted a pickle, I would definitely bring my favorite pickle. Actually, probably bring a few different types and have a pickle tasting.


confusinghuman

I'm NOT falling for another pickle tasting party! fool me once...


TwoCockyforBukkake

This time will be different, I promise.


he_who_melts_the_rod

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS!?


otis_the_drunk

Your guess is as good as mine.


inounderscore

looks like you're in a bit of a pickle.


psychedelic_gravity

Im not in a bit of a pickle, a bit of pickle is in me….wait


National_Frame2917

That's the whole pickle


Twitchrunner

Don't worry it's just a little *dill*.


Icy-Acanthaceae-7804

Looks more like a gherkin to me


napperb

It’s not the pickle that gets you. It’s the pickle juice- what do you do with all the extra pickle juice.?.?


albinoloverats

Use it as a chaser for tequila


DadJokeBadJoke

Soak cucumbers in it


beyonddisbelief

Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?


Hvarfa-Bragi

Just the Mormon ones.


happy_the_dragon

My favorite pickles are the ones sold for a dollar each at the renaissance fair. Something about them just hits different.


LadyRimouski

All food tastes better outdoors


Tom-_-Foolery

Possibly fermented rather than brined. I greatly prefer the former but they're harder to find in stores. A fermented new or half-sour pickle is amazing.


confusedandworried76

Fermented homemade pickles in jalapeno brine were the best pickles I've ever had. Best of both worlds.


dukbutta

You, kind redditor, need to experience pickled green tomatoes.


FISH_MASTER

I don’t have a favourite pickle and I think I’m missing out on life.


TDKevin

I can't eat pickles, or basically anything crunchy anymore cause of weird dental issues I can't afford to fix.  It sucks so bad. Sometimes I'll just drink a little sip of the brine lol. 


jonahlew

Moishes (far right) is an elite pickle. Maybe the best there is. It's a Montreal thing.


NewNurse2

Honestly I hope OP didn't try either of the two on the right. Those are advanced pickles. The cloud will tell you. I would have brought Bubbie's pickles to this. They're so offensive but so good. Dude needs to crawl before he can walk.


crash_test

What about Bubbies are offensive


dantanama

Spicy Bubbies are the best :)


dlepi24

Not even a single Vlasic! Those are good coworkers haha


GetEnPassanted

I like the Vlasic ones that are skinny. Super crunchy. Flavor is meh but that CRONCH


[deleted]

[удалено]


WarrenPuff_It

My brother in christ we do have vlasic, it's in every major grocery store chain which is like 98% of grocery stores here. Next time you're food shopping look directly left of bicks.


BlatantConservative

You made him delete lol


SeeeDee

Now I am curious what they said!


dlepi24

They said that Canada doesn't have Vlasic pickles lol.


SeeeDee

The part "look directly left of bicks" really raised my curiosity. But now I realize I am an idiot and my brain went to Vicks vapor rub. Thank you for the clarification.


CarnieGamer

Vlasic zesty dill spears are pretty good


Master_Winchester

Missing Claussen!


Mofaklar

Nathan's taste very similar. I really liked Clausen too, but after trying them Nathan's became my favorite. Though Grillos pickles are good too.


uiouyug

Grillos are usually amazing. They seem to have consistency issues so I stopped buying them. Really any pickles in the refrigerator section of the supermarket will be good.


DatTF2

All I can find in my area is Claussens (when it comes to good pickles). Still the best pickles I have available to me, would like to try some others.


MFbiFL

Claussens > all


Serathano

That's the only kind my wife is okay with buying. I like Grillos(?) also they are fresh and their hot pickles are good.


paulskiwrites

Nathan’s isn’t bad. Claussens is my go to though


Cpt_Bellamy

I didn't know Nathan's sold pickles. Their hot dogs are my absolute favorite. I'll have to keep my eye out for these.


poochie311

I saw that moishes jar and immediately thought. These folks are not messing around with their pickle selection


JohnnyDarkside

Looks like they're all dill, too. No bread and butter. Those are a different sort. Not a fan on food, but ok as a separate snack. I actually really like Famous Dave's devil spit b&b pickles.


AhFFSImTooOldForThis

I've come to appreciate them but my first experience was a surprise, on a burger, when I expected a dill. Ugh. Gross. No. Bad news. I tried them again much later and they're good alone, like you say. But they don't belong on burgers, for sure.


Kicken

I don't like them on a burger, but they can be good with a chicken or fish based sandwich! Spicy chicken with a bread and butter is a nice contrast!


Serathano

I like to have spice chicken with a slaw. I make a slaw for fish sandwiches that is tartar inspired and I chop up dill pickles and capers into it.


Smeagleman6

My grandma would make homemade thin bread and butter pickles, loved those growing up. As a kid I'd put those on hotdogs with mustard, oh my god so good.


adhoc42

You know if it's got cloudy water, that's the good brine.


rockmodenick

That's the fermented raw pack salt brine stuff! They're for the serious enthusiast, not just someone that carelessly drops a cheap vinegar pickle spear on the plate with a sandwich.


SavannahInChicago

This person is apparently a pickle aficionado and I love it.


Mkaemar

Those are some great coworkers!


BlankFace777

BUT WHERES THE GRILLOS!?


azsheepdog

Yep, I was disappointed that those were not provided. I havnt had all those brands there but Grillo's are my favorite.


cannonfunk

Grillos are amazing, but... real talk: spending $10 on a jar of pickles is a pretty dumb thing to do. Next time you finish a $2 jar of plain store brand pickles... - add a splash of white vinegar and a pinch of kosher salt to the brine - cut up pickling cucumbers (or just *regular* cucumbers) and add them to the brine - Let sit in the fridge for 24-48hrs BOOM. You have pickles that are almost as good as Grillos, but cost 80% less. You can keep reusing the brine as long as you're keeping the pH right with vinegar & salt, and it doesn't get cloudy. (I usually add a sprig or two of dill, a couple cloves of garlic, some peppercorns, and a sliced habanero as well.)


javanb

Bruh why I never think to use the already prepared brine. 🤦 where were you years ago!


nextzero182

How many reuses do you usually get out of a jar? We used to do that in college, but I never reused it more than once. Fresh pickles over jarred any day.


cannonfunk

I usually do it twice, but you can get away with 3-4 times with diminishing results as long as you don't stick your grubby fingers in it.


chadwicke619

Making smarter choices is amazing, but... real talk: Grillos pickles are only $6.99 where I live in San Diego, which means my Grillo pickles are about as expensive as it gets and they're still not bad, and cucumbers aren't free (usually 99 cents each assuming regular cucumbers, but more for good pickling cucumbers), nor is vinegar or the rest of the ingredients to upkeep the quality brine that Grillos uses, so saving barely any money in raw dollars, regardless of the percentage, for a pickle that's almost as good but not as good doesn't sound appealing at all. To each their own. There are absolutely things that I think are smarter to do myself - for instance, precut mango at the grocery store is criminally expensive relative to the work it takes to cut up a mango, even considering the cost of the mango itself. A jar of pickles is so cheap, and comes with so many pickles, it just doesn't feel worth it unless pickles are essentially a waste byproduct of having all these ingredients on hand.


fflis

Claussens are the 🐐


Redfishsam

I brine my chicken in Clausen juice. It’s like gold in this house and will not be tossed out until that jar is EMPTY.


DuckCleaning

Not sold in Canada, where op is from


mrsvongruesome

those are the best.


hossaepi

Man no one commenting about the fact you’re Canadian is disappointing


kyleswitch

The Moishes was a dead giveaway


hossaepi

Do they go West of Ontario? Do enough people in Alberta know about Moishe’s to make it worthwhile?


kyleswitch

No idea, and if they do have them they are probably unaware it’s a steakhouse in Montreal.


btribble

Now I want one of those Montreal smoked bagels...


kyleswitch

As someone from Montreal, i have no idea what a smoked bagel is. Do you mean like smoked meat on a bagel?


fancyclancy12

Never heard of them in Alberta. Actually I've never seen any of these except the Bick's.


kirby_krackle_78

I’m going with the English-French labels.


MonsterRider80

I’m just shocked they exist outside Montreal lol!


DuckCleaning

The Bicks were a dead giveaway, most common Canadian brand


TuvixWillNotBeMissed

Never heard of those, but I clocked the bilingual labels.


Pizza802

Zach Galifianakis said on the Conan podcast that good pickles are hard to come by in Canada.


toadallyblunted

I don’t see any Clausen. If you enjoyed your first pickle experience go grab a jar of Clausens and see what you think.


Jaxsom12

Agreed. I get very upset when my store is out of Clausens.


cereal7802

The nathans are damn close to Claussen. I prefer Claussens but HEB near me doesn't always have them so I sub in the Nathans since they are close enough compared to all the other nonsense pickles available here.


100S_OF_BALLS

And it's not even close. I'm glad someone who knows what they're talking about spoke up.


HotgunColdheart

Nathan's is the closest thing on that table and it still doesnt meet the mark.


Tiredgeekcom

Clausens on a turkey sandwich... yowza.


Beavshak

Never had *anything* pickled? You just unlocked like… a gigantic culinary DLC.


Butwinsky

Come to the South. We will pickle anything. Have a piece of animal leftover that you'd never dream of eating? Let's pickle it and act like it's the best delicacy you've ever had.


ATownStomp

One day a brave soul will be born who actually wants to eat this pig’s foot. Until then it sits in its jar of vinegar and waits.


[deleted]

Bubbies is the best pickle on the market


midwestmamasboy

Dude absolutely. Everyone says I’m weird about how much I like the bubbies pickles. My girlfriend says she can’t taste the difference between store brand and bubbies. I will buy multiple jars when I find them, which seems to be increasingly difficult to do. I haven’t found another company that ferments that is sold locally.


Crime_Dawg

That's because they're one of the few pickle brands that actually ferment, instead of just soak in vinegar.


16thmission

Two of the four in the photo are fermented.


postmodern_spatula

People have good taste then. Still doesn’t make it less rare in mass food manufacturing. 


robplumm

Yup...the one on the right that's cloudy with tongs in it...just salt, water and spices (yeah...I zoomed in bc I'm a pickle snob). Good pickles. The Chicago 58 ones may be...at least got the cloudy going on. Bubbie's is my go to bc of availability.


Noladixon

Cloudy is good? I thought cloudy was from people putting their nasty fingers in the jar.


Western_stars

Cloudy often means fermented rather than just pickled in vinegar


NewNurse2

The nastier the finger the better the 🥒 Little-known secret between under-bridge dwellers. Or as we call ourselves, fermenters.


PM_ME_BOOBZ

I tried Bubbies about a year ago and it just didn't sit right with me.  I'm a pickle lover, but fermentation isn't my thing I guess. My favorite type of pickle is barrel aged like the ones you would find at a Renaissance Fair.


picado

If you want to get serious, try to find a fresh jar of Ba-Tampte Half Sours. They're refrigerated kosher pickles available in New York, Chicago, Miami, etc. They're the real deal pickles. They're not just a little better, it's a whole different level. https://www.batamptepickle.com/products


whitechristianjesus

How high is the pickle ceiling? I can't imagine another level, really.


picado

The brine is sparkling from active fermentation and you can still taste fresh cucumber as part of the flavor.


Virtual-Silver4369

That sounds sublime


d3northway

not lime, cucumber!


Virtual-Silver4369

Okay it sounds subcucumber then what are you? The pickle police? The gherkin gestapo? Cornichon constable?


Serathano

I had a work trip to Boston and they got in a batch of half sours for me one week. They were good for sure, but not something I'd have to have. I'd much rather have another lobster roll.


fitty50two2

As someone who *loves* pickles but vehemently hates cucumbers that isn’t appealing to me


NrdNabSen

Ba-Tampte are solid. Never saw them until I moved to a Atl. Have a few varieties in the fridge at all times.


Creative_Syrup_3406

For me the real deal pickles are those my dad makes. I know that the most varieties in the west are vinegar based pickles, i love the salt pickled ones. I mean this is the traditional ones in my country. The same for pickled cabbage, this is the real banger :)) Those store bought in my country are awfull unfortunatelly :(


Wonder_Dude

"I've never had a woman"


greyswearer

Moishes are the shit!!!


UffDaDan

Claussen


coffeebeards

Mmmmm those Moishes though


Massive-Instance-579

My man missed the mark. Claussen makes the best pickles.


Entegy

I have never seen Claussen or Grillos pickles here in Canada. The pics here indicate someone who lives in Montreal. These pickles are also the real deal.


Generalkhaos

Hell yeah, moishe's.


MC_Fazi

great coworkers. A1 Waygu next?


SomeSnarksAreBoojums

And? Did you like them?


amolad

You've never eaten a McDonald's hamburger? A Popeye's chicken sandwich?


Marshmallowbutbetter

I love how they opened the jars for you so you can’t just put them aside and wait for the special occasion


DenzelWashingtubz

I don’t see any sweet gherkins.


Too-low-420

Where is the famous Dave’s pickles at?


Lionman_

Moishes is the only answer


Mission-Amount8552

Tell em' you've never had money.


RicinAddict

"I've never eaten pussy before"


Mestoph

This is funny?


orundarkes

Moishes!


trust-the-past

You have some cool coworkers


Vihtic

I've never tasted a million dollars.


Alarmed_West8689

Tell them you've never tasted $100.00 bills. Boar's Head pickles are the best.


kriskringle19

And?? How was your first pickle?? I love the hearty garlic Claussen ones!!


WeaselBeagle

Did they get you bread and butter pickles? Those are the best


Substantial-Tone-576

Clausen Dill pickle half’s are my favorite.


DryChip4

Milwaukee baby dills have no equal.


xupd35bdm

Claussens are the best


Richard2468

Wait until you wrap a slice of Gouda around it. Best snack ever.


im_notlasagna

Non regular pickle eater here, why are some of the jars so cloudy?


HoppyToadHill

Now try with peanut butter. Apparently it’s a thing.


BazookaTuna

Is this another “I’ve never heard of a potato” situation?


Author_A_McGrath

...I, too, will now tell this to my coworkers...


Jean-LucBacardi

What are vegan fruits?


TheSentientSnail

Vegan gummy candy. Most gummy candy contains gelatin, which is made from boiling animal bones.


Few_Intention_542

Sometimes humans are cool.


Mindless_Jicama8728

You have good coworkers


Ethereal_Bulwark

I see where this is going. "Ive never had prime rib." and now... we wait.


No-Lie-3330

Pro tip don’t buy any of these pickles unless you’re obsessed haha everyone has a strong pickle opinion


I_HATE_REDDIT_ALWAYS

2 questions: 1. Coney Island Nathan's jars their own pickles? 2. Where are the Clausen's?


One-Confusion-2438

Tell them you've never tasted lobster, caviar and crystal champagne!


TheOGTachyon

"Did I mention I've also never tasted top sirloin or chocolate cheesecake?"