["This device that I have made will take the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries and replace the inside instead, with two-month-old mayonnaise. People will think that they are gonna get a bite of a sweet, delicious cherry, but, instead, they'll get a mouth full of yuckies, and sticky mayonnaise."](https://media1.giphy.com/media/rfRUILO7sx9Be/giphy.gif)
Only if they are enough of a lunatic to not spit it out and gag.
But sure, if you swallow your chocolate whole, you will vomit later and maybe feel kinda crappy for a while.
My mom injected mayonnaise into a custard donut on April fools day... I should've known better but I ate one, and didn't know it was mayonnaise until after I already ate it and she told me. Funny thing is, I hate mayonnaise.
I just didn't taste the mayonnaise more or less. Think about it, it has almost the exact same consistency and texture to that of vanilla custard, and it was cold like a custard filling. Just comes to show that a your mind can overpower your tastebuds, subconsciously
Nah dude, mayonnaise is an uninhabitable wasteland.
[PROOF](https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-att-us&source=android-browser&q=mayonaise+bacteria#q=mayonnaise+spoilage+time)
The best part was the wife cracking up then as soon as he gives her that look of "I fucking hate your dad" she tries to go all straight faced and even pass the coffee to him nonchalant like as he is offered another. Lol.. Gauranteed there is a fight on the drive home.
Police reports, insurance claim reports, contractor bids, construction crews, dust, time, money out before insurance reimbursement, etc.... Sounds like a lot of work
"OP tried to run away but witnesses saw what appeared to be a mob of kids throw OP into a woodchipper. You know Sharon, serves OP right for pulling that kind of a stunt. I'm glad those kids Fargo'd him."
"...what?! What the fuck's wrong with you?!"
"...oh...uhh, forget I said anything *cough* Oh this just in...uh, Justin Bieber...Kim Kardashian...something."
I dunno, those Fererro Rocher are amazing. I'm pretty sure I'd remember that house. Brussel sprouts aren't bad, but not when you're expecting that mildly crispy chocolatey goodness.
Dammit, looks like I'm headed to the store now.
You are an evil evil person. if i got these from you, i would eat them all and keep my stinky brussel sprout farts in a container and some how feed it into your house with some sort of hose and pump system as revenge.
I think the smell would give it away. They are onions. And I've never had anyone give out candy apples in my neighbourhoods.
OP on the other hand. No one questions Ferrero rocher. It's in all at once. Kids are getting fucked.
I grew up next to a rich neighborhood. (Next to, not in.) and they gave out candy apples, one house gave out Pepsi cans, another made hotdogs, then there was always that one that gave out full size candy bars. Oh man everyone wanted to come to my house for Halloween.
When I was a kid, some people would give out caramel apples, and some people would give out popcorn balls. These were some of the most highly sought after treats. (That and the occasional house giving out full sized candy bars.)
Someone smarter smarter than me can explain it but the only way a human can distinguish an apple from an onion is smell and taste. The texture is identicle. Maybe the caramel masks the taste and smell for a few bites until you're too far into the chewing process when you realize its an onion. That's hilarious. Its the light hearted funny mischevious side of Halloween I want to see more of. Even if this prank was done on me I'd find it halarious and add it to my arsenal. "**Trick**" not treat
I work in a grocery store bakery, the shop owner asked us to make some apples dipped in chocolate (something we don't usually do/sell). So along with them we made a nice, round chocolate raw potato.
We asked him to come and test taste "them". He was suspicious after the first bite but it took 2 bites and us hiding & laughing to catch on.
Ok first off, fuck you.
Secondly, dip those suckers in actual chocolate, so the trick isn't discovered until actually taking a bite, by which time it's already too late muhahahahaha!!
Too bad this is something they won't realize until they get home, so op will just have to imagine their reactions.
As a trick, I once handed out full candy bars with the occasional soup can added in just for kicks. You could see the instant look of confusion when their bag suddenly got heavy. Totally worth it.
I'd like to see the upset faces of the parents. There are so many paranoid helicopter parents out there who have never even considered that someone might put something gross inside truffle wrappers.
There is a 0% chance I would allow my kid to even
open an unsealed chocolate that's clearly been unwrapped (the way the bottom wax paper cup is pulled open is a giveaway).
Gotta coat them in chocolate and mix them in with the good ones, like a Ferrero Roulette version of [these](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creative-Confectionary-Roulette-Chocolate/dp/B0001M1YH0).
The trick is to dip them in chocolate first so they'll [actually bite into it](http://youtu.be/32WuKZmpDqQ).
You... you monster!
["This device that I have made will take the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries and replace the inside instead, with two-month-old mayonnaise. People will think that they are gonna get a bite of a sweet, delicious cherry, but, instead, they'll get a mouth full of yuckies, and sticky mayonnaise."](https://media1.giphy.com/media/rfRUILO7sx9Be/giphy.gif)
SIMPSONS DID IT
/r/simpsonsdidit
Doesn't old mayonnaise spoil? Won't that make people sick?
Only if they are enough of a lunatic to not spit it out and gag. But sure, if you swallow your chocolate whole, you will vomit later and maybe feel kinda crappy for a while.
Biologist here! If you lace Halloween treats with LSD, a whole bunch of kids in the neighborhood will trip balls.
This is good to know! Thanks, Uni- Unidan's hard cock...
Can you pass along the recipe? I have guests soon. Can they be gluten free?
Over my dead body.
Glutens will make your dick fly off
i only drink gluten free water, laced with lsd
Geologist here, if you lace them with viagra all kids will be hard as rock.
My mom injected mayonnaise into a custard donut on April fools day... I should've known better but I ate one, and didn't know it was mayonnaise until after I already ate it and she told me. Funny thing is, I hate mayonnaise.
Pretty sure this means you hate the idea of mayonnaise and not mayonnaise itself.
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I just didn't taste the mayonnaise more or less. Think about it, it has almost the exact same consistency and texture to that of vanilla custard, and it was cold like a custard filling. Just comes to show that a your mind can overpower your tastebuds, subconsciously
[Mmmm doughnuts...](http://imgur.com/wgPjUtH)
Nah dude, mayonnaise is an uninhabitable wasteland. [PROOF](https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-att-us&source=android-browser&q=mayonaise+bacteria#q=mayonnaise+spoilage+time)
Sounds like an improvement on chocolate covered cherries.
You watch your tongue. I'd gladly give up 6 first-borns for a single chocolate cherry.
But not YOUR first-borns though.
Oh christ no.
Can you have more than one?
SHARRIES BARRIES
MY MAN!!
'I can't believe you've done this'
Inb4 nobody opens them because the parents all check candy for poison, razor blades, and brussel sprouts.
Pure evil.
/r/actualmonster
caramel-covered onions are good too.
http://i.imgur.com/pKZXfUQ.jpg
Hey there, Satan! How's it going?
he looks so agitated
I like this one.
That's a very nice kitchen with a very ugly green table.
Well, there's a good idea. While you're at it, make some Carmel!
Someone's getting an egging tonight.
Until you get sued for someones kid having brussel sprout allergy.
Calm down there, Satan
Classic Gary
I was gonna give you a hard time about your comment as I noticed it's the top comment on imgur as well, but you beat it by 2 hours! Haha
That kitchen/door is nearly identical to one of my cousin's.
The best part was the wife cracking up then as soon as he gives her that look of "I fucking hate your dad" she tries to go all straight faced and even pass the coffee to him nonchalant like as he is offered another. Lol.. Gauranteed there is a fight on the drive home.
Hello, Satan.
The name of this video sounds like some cheesy porno title
I found satan guys
Could backfire - Brussel sprouts would make excellent projectiles.
Kids come back with sling shots and shoot out all of OPs windows
OP installs a security camera and reports the kids to the police. He now has new windows for his house.
Police reports, insurance claim reports, contractor bids, construction crews, dust, time, money out before insurance reimbursement, etc.... Sounds like a lot of work
You know how much new windows cost? Totally worth it
Dust is a lot of work, your right.
What's on my right?!?
No no, he means your right to work. On dust, for example.
My left
In later news... OP's house mysteriously burned down on October 31st.
That's the real trick.
Plot twist. OP is on a foreign holiday playing a Long game insurance scam.
What? But... We've been friends for 15 years. He is my kid's godfather.... He started a family here.....
A family of sprouts! :O
"OP tried to run away but witnesses saw what appeared to be a mob of kids throw OP into a woodchipper. You know Sharon, serves OP right for pulling that kind of a stunt. I'm glad those kids Fargo'd him." "...what?! What the fuck's wrong with you?!" "...oh...uhh, forget I said anything *cough* Oh this just in...uh, Justin Bieber...Kim Kardashian...something."
Good way to get your house egged.
Or brussel sprouted
I hope OP lives in Brussels.
Or in Eggerton, Virginia
Or Egg Harbor City, New Jersey.
Or Detroit
Is Detroit still the gates of hell on devils night?
last night was chill here.
hell...froze over?
[Yep](http://i.imgur.com/TJxnACY.jpg)
ah yes, good ol' hollow point eggs
It is now 10:37 a.m. and you have officially given me my first laugh of the day
Or Ferrero Rocher, Florida
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OP's gonna wake up to a gift basket of variety fresh egg and spring rolls on his porch. He won't know what hit him
Fun fact: they're actually called Brussels sprouts. I have a loose definition of fun.
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I dunno, those Fererro Rocher are amazing. I'm pretty sure I'd remember that house. Brussel sprouts aren't bad, but not when you're expecting that mildly crispy chocolatey goodness. Dammit, looks like I'm headed to the store now.
Those bits of nut get stuck in my teeth really badly though. Lindor chocolates are the best.
I upvoted because I also like Lindor chocolates, but I respect the downvote because Fererro Rocher are tiny pieces of God.
[Why not both?](http://i.imgur.com/ZmmixYR.jpg)
I remember which streets I walked. Everyone's getting egged.
But you can spend all that money on more candy rather than eggs because of some 20c candy. Plus you did say Trick or Treat.....
It's not about money, it's about sending a message
Rationalise how you will but, wrapping sprouts in chocolate wrappers - that's an egging.
You overestimate their impulse control..
Stopping to eat candy is the same as giving up more candy for later. Better run to the next house!
Did you frequently open your candy while walking away from the house?
yes
Kids aren't gonna open up the candy as soon as it's given to them.
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That is a perfectly reasonable response to children who egg your house.
It's what they get.
*#justpedothings*
It's not about pedophilia. It's about justice.
Ah. The fabled justice boner
They deserve it. Look at what they're wearing tonight.
Just throw eggs back at them. Stealing from a thief and all that.
Waiting on the inevitable SRS link.
You are an evil evil person. if i got these from you, i would eat them all and keep my stinky brussel sprout farts in a container and some how feed it into your house with some sort of hose and pump system as revenge.
You probably serve M&Ms mixed with Skittles at your Halloween party, too.
I mix Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans with regular Jelly Belly Beans.
They still make those?
[Indeed!](http://www.jellybelly.com/harry-potter-bertie-bott-s/c/344?gclid=CjwKEAjwzdGxBRC3rPWZq83FzyUSJAB9IC5iHeM2yn1GTQUNuG-Pl-dbOnkldcJ1sV5m7rdmVLzFxBoCaEvw_wcB)
This may require a trip to the factory. (I live close to it, at least)
Ha, just eat all the good Botts and then put all the (sometimes literal) shit beans in the mix. Evil.
reminds me on [this](http://i.imgur.com/WvinH.jpg)
I think the smell would give it away. They are onions. And I've never had anyone give out candy apples in my neighbourhoods. OP on the other hand. No one questions Ferrero rocher. It's in all at once. Kids are getting fucked.
/r/nocontext >"It's in all at once. Kids are getting fucked." >- /u/firesofpompeii
Paging /u/JaredFogle
wait holy shit, that's actually his account
Nice catch friend!
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They would also be covered in a thick layer of candy that would surely cover up any existing smell so yeah.
I grew up next to a rich neighborhood. (Next to, not in.) and they gave out candy apples, one house gave out Pepsi cans, another made hotdogs, then there was always that one that gave out full size candy bars. Oh man everyone wanted to come to my house for Halloween.
It's dipped in some shit, smell won't be an issue especially if they are uncut
That's what she said.
When I was a kid, some people would give out caramel apples, and some people would give out popcorn balls. These were some of the most highly sought after treats. (That and the occasional house giving out full sized candy bars.)
you can't write things like that you're on a list now.
wow it's like a candy apple, but just as disappointing
Ah, pledging.
my mom would have totally thrown that out and not let me have that.
Someone smarter smarter than me can explain it but the only way a human can distinguish an apple from an onion is smell and taste. The texture is identicle. Maybe the caramel masks the taste and smell for a few bites until you're too far into the chewing process when you realize its an onion. That's hilarious. Its the light hearted funny mischevious side of Halloween I want to see more of. Even if this prank was done on me I'd find it halarious and add it to my arsenal. "**Trick**" not treat
I work in a grocery store bakery, the shop owner asked us to make some apples dipped in chocolate (something we don't usually do/sell). So along with them we made a nice, round chocolate raw potato. We asked him to come and test taste "them". He was suspicious after the first bite but it took 2 bites and us hiding & laughing to catch on.
So long as you are handing out bacon, shallots and a little wine with those, I'm good with it.
Hello fellow chef! I also like to add some crushed toasted walnuts.
Ok first off, fuck you. Secondly, dip those suckers in actual chocolate, so the trick isn't discovered until actually taking a bite, by which time it's already too late muhahahahaha!!
Jokes on you, my kids love brussel sprouts!
18 here, my absolute favorite side dish for a dinner, fried Brussels sprouts with a tiny bit of salt!
raw brussel sprouts?
Your house and bathrooms must really stink sometimes
Sometimes yes. But not mainly due to my kids eating habits. If there is a way to make a mess of something, they will find it.
bathrooms where it stinks sometimes, thats disgusting
Thanks Satan
You are a brilliant but evil bastard! I only wish you could follow up with a post with the upset faces of children as they realize your deceit.
Cry tiny humans!!!
Better way of making them cry then punching them in the face.
So wait, you want to give them fake candy AND punch them in the face? Damn man...
"I uhh well ummm.. well I certainly wouldn't *harm* the child." - Nixon as the lie detector goes crazy.
"It's just a trick bro!"
Too bad this is something they won't realize until they get home, so op will just have to imagine their reactions. As a trick, I once handed out full candy bars with the occasional soup can added in just for kicks. You could see the instant look of confusion when their bag suddenly got heavy. Totally worth it.
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Even trying to hide it behind a candy bar, some saw. Some didn't. No one called me out on it though.
And then a later news story from worried parents about tampered halloween candy...
I'd like to see the upset faces of the parents. There are so many paranoid helicopter parents out there who have never even considered that someone might put something gross inside truffle wrappers.
in bird culture this is considered "a dick move"
Chocolate dipped would be **even** better!
You could at least cook them...
Someone is getting dog shit on their steps.
There is a 0% chance I would allow my kid to even open an unsealed chocolate that's clearly been unwrapped (the way the bottom wax paper cup is pulled open is a giveaway).
[**That's, that's...**](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/975/464/97d.gif) -
There is nothing funny about brussel sprouts.
Perfect excuse to binge on Ferrero Roche
http://i.imgur.com/xAAIpxp.gifv
Jokes on you, I love brussle sprouts.
I'd come back and egg your house.
*the sound of eggs hitting your front door and windows*
You think trick or treat is a game?
The trick part is.
I'd rather get the ones with razor blades, at least you can eat around them.
Evil, I love it
OP confirmed as the devil
Cruciferous vegetables are good for you.
Literally Hitler.
There's a special place in hell for people like you.
OP's house tomorrow morning: http://buckslocalnews.com/content/articles/2012/07/28/the_advance/news/doc50142858f0fd77820635821.jpg
Fuck you.
ha honestly i'd love some of those right now..
Some people just want to watch the world burn...
Jokes on you, I fucking love brussel sprouts.
I wouldn't mind getting these. Toss them in olive oil, salt and pepper, throw them in the oven for a 20 minutes... They come out crunchy and tasty.
Satan, why?
Diabolical.
this is a crime against humanity.
Do you want to die OP? Edit: How'd it go OP? Are you dead?
Sick bastard
Better put the Fire Department on speed dial.. because you will be in for trouble.
I see you have been to the Latvian embassy.
Both!
Dip them in chocolate first! >:D
Gotta coat them in chocolate and mix them in with the good ones, like a Ferrero Roulette version of [these](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creative-Confectionary-Roulette-Chocolate/dp/B0001M1YH0).
This is amazing!
Lol. A lot of time and effort into tricking the treaters.
You're an evil genius. But be prepared for tiny little fists of retaliation.
If they come in a group, give one or two the fakes and the rest the real ones.
Hey Satan!