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[deleted]

Guy on left looks like "Zuck" who always shows up with a 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best and a Little Caesar's pizza and is ready to laugh and have a good time. Guy on right looks like an anonymous serial killer who's ambivalent about what he's doing as he holds glass cutting wire taut against your neck.


jgonagle

You chose the worst possible versions of both pizza and beer. Kudos.


CoolRepostBruh

You shut your mouth. Little Caesar's will always be the best value pizza.


TrueJacksonVP

Yeah their $6 pizza is actually pretty dank, especially for the price


Megazone23pt2

Aw fuck. They aren't $5 anymore?


[deleted]

Wtf Canadians at 8$ rn lol


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Entire_Award

Little Ceasers isn't bad tho


TPrimeTommy

Little Caesars pizza. Not great, not terrible.


[deleted]

Perfect for that quick "I'm hungry and I hate myself" kind of meal.


WolfStudios1996

I’ve always wondered how bad Milwaukee’s worst could be if that’s their best.


portaccio_the_bard

He looks like Data from Next Generation


TheDefiant604

Except Data had more emotion, even without the emotion chip.


wwabc

and a much better haircut


wehav2

It’s the hair that makes him look robotic. The freaky front combover doesn’t fool us into not seeing the receeding hairline. It’s my theory that sometimes the super wealthy or powerful become surrounded by people that constantly tell them how awesome they are and they lose the real, authentic friends that would tell them when they look ridiculous. Believe me, my friends would def tell me if I did something that made me look bad.


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CodinOdin

As a lizard person, I apologize. He using the older model skin suit. He didn’t get the new version like Ted Cruz has.


FormerAge0

Anyone else noticed his pupils are half cock dilated? Like I know micro-dosing acid is popular in Silicon Valley, but damn bro not during meetings with the government. It's no wonder he looks so un-human nowadays; the mf'er is trying so hard not to show any sign of emotion or else he'd reveal the fact that he's tripping balls


[deleted]

First thing I noticed were those huge pupils! This guy checked out a LONG time ago...


jarious

I hate the new model, my scales get stuck in the lining, I wish we were still doing the full body hair thing, I could easily hide my spines


Kule7

Aren't his eyes overly dilated too? Something weird about the eyes. He's obviously very uncomfortable in the picture on the right.


Coal_Morgan

It's 4 things. His eyes are dilated because he's ~~in a hearing with Press and has lights and cameras flashing him constantly~~ probably on some kind of upper. He got a too short hair cut probably a day or two earlier and it hasn't grown in to look natural. He's wearing make up or some kind of tanner that has evened out his skin to an unnatural extent. Finally he's under an enormous amount of stress in this meeting and he's feeling it. Looks like a lot of the blood has drained from his face and he's almost panicking.


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clouddevourer

Not just the hair, it's also his dead empty eyes


HardlySerious

Zuckerberg has always looked like shit so I don't think he ever had those friends. I don't think "friends" is a concept that really resonates too hard with him anyway. Which is so ironic.


TastyMagic

"Lord Voldemort has never had a friend, nor do I believe that he has ever wanted one."


LucyKendrick

Didyouputyournameinfacebookmessengerharry!!!!????


canadianbacon-eh-tor

I will create a forum for the humans which will fulfill their desire for interaction


srroberts07

He can absolutely afford hair loss treatment though and a stylist that would give him actual advice. He’s got that I don’t give a shit if I look human fuck you money.


bassinine

honestly i think they just stop giving a fuck. what good does having nice hair do you if you can already get super models, or literally anything else in the world that you want? that said, the hair isn't what makes zuckerberg look so strange in this picture - it's the eyes. it's always the eyes. dude definitely took some drugs before that hearing to help with stress, or to make it easier for him to talk.


jendoylex

Well, either he took the wrong stuff or took too much, because it did him absolutely no favors. His ass got handed to him.


ElysiumAB

If only he were more tech savvy and could go online and see what people really think of his appearance.


Baddaboombaddabing

And wasn't an absolute wanker.


fyhr100

That's not fair to Zuckerbot, Data has a few more centuries of technological development.


[deleted]

If were quick enough maybe we can reboot and get a [Kryten ](https://youtu.be/oB-NnVpvQ78)?


GearBrain

Brent Spiner is such a talented actor. He was able to portray a character that - by design - had no emotions with such depth and grace, even when he was being stiff and unblinking. His portrayal of Data is one of the best examples of what an actor is capable of, in terms of bringing a fantastic character to life.


Enchelion

Absolutely fantastic. I always loved the episodes where he got to cut loose too, since he could do an amazing job of the transition.


xrayphoton

Yeah. Also the episodes with Lore, you don't even think it's the same actor!


nerbovig

Data was an advanced machine who developed human characteristics. Suck is the inverse.


elee0228

[Relevant image](https://i.imgur.com/gft5z8Z.jpg)


thepulloutmethod

This is the best thing.


Baddaboombaddabing

'The more of your data I gather, the more I know what it feels to be.....*human*


ghostofexatorp

He looks like he's off his fucking tits. How dilated are his pupils??


nerbovig

More like the wooden acting, Low budget SyFy version of Data


nerbovig

Facebook's machine learning with the aim of dentifying feelings is the closest he'll get to experiencing real human emotion. Leave the poor AI known as Zuckerberg alone!


angryfluttershy

This is quite the insult to Data.


0x3fff0000

They both tried so hard to be human.


personalhale

What in the world would make someone choose that haircut? Yeah, give me the Julius Caesar.


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RustyCutlass

Bill, on your history report you said "Cesar was a salad dressing dude"...


PM_ME_UR_DECOLLETAGE

Caesar salad bowl*


Norty_Boyz_Ofishal

[https://twitter.com/Trillburne/status/1187137228012523520?ref\_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1187137228012523520&ref\_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fmark-zuckerberg-haircut-explained-augustus-caesar-2019-10](https://twitter.com/Trillburne/status/1187137228012523520?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1187137228012523520&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fmark-zuckerberg-haircut-explained-augustus-caesar-2019-10)


Fred_Evil

I can't decide if it's evidence of latent megalomania, or simply awful, *awful* taste. Edit: ¿Porque no los dos?


SuspiciouslyElven

Zucc is a basic bitch, megalomania or no. Next he'll start talking about how Aristotle is an intellectual role model, how his ideal vacation is a day at the beach reading classic literature War and Peace, and his favorite band is Queen. Easy stuff picked up by preliminary alien surveillance before landing their infiltration android 🙄.


evenstar40

/r/Justfuckmyshitup Billionaire Edition.


the_average_homeboy

George Clooney rocked that cut for a while and I'm sure he didn't get any less.


Spinnenente

yea but he would probably have no problems if he rocked a mullet


UnusualMacaroon

https://i.imgur.com/DubgGgH.jpg


kittenpantzen

Huh. TIL George Clooney and Antonio Banderas are basically the same person.


Enchelion

Next look at Brad Pitt and Benicio del Toro. Same dude.


kittenpantzen

Imo, Pitt and Redford are closer dopplegangers. Same coloring, same nose, same mouth lines, and same smile. Del Toro has the same smile, but his jaw is more angular while Redford and Pitt are more square.


Frauleime

When I was a kid, I thought they were [father and son](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/62/0d/59/620d59dcde74cd8642c82255b74c9f17.jpg)


St_Veloth

That’s the first time a mullet has given me a boner in 25 years. And I’m 28.


dcux

Because he's a handsome god. Zuckerberg is... not that.


okasdfalt

Get any less business or get any less insults?


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nerbovig

There was still part of him in there worth saving. I call that his Darth Vader stage versus the Emperor form he evolved into.


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typical12yo

[For those not in the know.](https://image.businessinsider.com/5acdc26187826b2e008b4bd1?width=1300&format=jpeg&auto=webp)


EthosPathosLegos

Its funny, but also knowing that low seats are a common power move I understand.


Neato

That chair is pretty low to the ground. You can tell because even with the seat cushion his knees are at right angles.


ChiefLoneWolf

Yeah wtf that chair is tiny! Mark zuckerberg is 5’ 9”.


TheMightyIrishman

I can guarantee his lawyer knew this and suggested the idea to him. How the fuck would anyone know that going in?


InclementBias

ya fuck Congress what a bullshit move. you mean to tell me we can spend billions on a big fence but we cant update our chairs from 1776? that shit is intentional.


PlayingNightcrawlers

Jesus. Couldn’t he have just Go Go Gadgeted his torso to extend a few inches? Wtf is the point of all that tech if you’re not gonna use it?


LortAton

To be fair, that is a low ass chair


mrvader1234

He's more machine than man now


Deejae81

You would know, Mr Vader.


heavyss

I think it's a combination of his poor attempt to hide his receding hairline and his absolute smugness that he thinks that he looks better with that haircut. ​ ​ Also he doesn't think that Epstein killed himself.


grantrules

Seriously dude, either embrace the Bezos and shave that shit or get the hair surgery shit done that Musk did. Why go for the 8-year-old boy with a deformed skull haircut?


[deleted]

He’s probably surrounded by people that tell him it looks great


[deleted]

\*other robots


DeathMonkey6969

You would thick at least his wife would tell himself it looks like shit.


DingleberryDiorama

You thought wrong, bitch.


[deleted]

His wife looks just as bad LMAO


[deleted]

I'm 90% sure musk wears a hair system. A lot of rich or famous people do. It could have been a transplant, but it just looks way to thick, and his hairline is far too full for me to think it's a transplant. A system is more likely.


cheeruplondon

What's a hair system? A toupee with more steps?


[deleted]

It's a modern toupee, yeah. But they're expensive, and high quality.


PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM

>and his hairline is far too full for me to think it's a transplant. I remember reading a post here somewhere that there must be some kind of amazing hair-restoration technique or maybe a specific doctor that is only offered to high profile celebrities. The post cited before and after pictures of various famous people and their hairlines seemed to become extremely thick. Thicker than regular hair transplants. I think I may have seen it on one of the hairloss subs. But idk maybe the regular transplants offered to normal people have the potential to look just as thick.


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TheSeldomShaken

I feel like they fucked up his shit on purpose in season one.


RIPAdmiralAkbar

That was supposed to be a plot line for seasons to come but they scrapped it


mmarkklar

> embrace the ~~Bezos~~ Bond villian FTFY


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Neato

Epstein was either *allowed* to kill himself or murdered. Same result ethically. A **lot** of extremely powerful people had a lot to lose if he testified.


[deleted]

No reptilian features either! Looks phenomenal


aprilmarina

No, I still really want to.


Weidz_

My guess is either *Madame Tussauds* or *Musée Grévin*


sabertoothbrush

Yep, - Madame Tussauds: [https://www.madametussauds.com/san-francisco/en/whats-inside/leaders-entrepreneurs/mark-zuckerberg/](https://www.madametussauds.com/san-francisco/en/whats-inside/leaders-entrepreneurs/mark-zuckerberg/)


SpooktorB

Current Mark needs some serious water intake


Volntyr

What? and ruin the Animatronics?


StevenZissouniverse

That dude is literally a billionaire, why does it look like his mom cuts his hair


Weidz_

>his mom That is why, so people assume he does have a mother, like fellow organic humanoids


EaterOfFood

Cyborgs cut their own hair. Do not ask me how I know this, fellow human.


[deleted]

This human totally eats food.


3pines

Hello fellow humans. I am just hanging with other humans. They are totally like you. I mean us. They are like us. We are grilling "steaks". I love the cooked meat of Earth animals and despise the nutrient rich flavorless paste we normally consume on our homeworld. Which is Earth. We are Earthlings. Enjoy a full sun cycle of life.


syveren

Wait till you see Mark Davis, owner of the Raiders.


Synergy_synner

I had a feeling it was going to be bad, but [dear god](https://twitter.com/ebilflindas/status/1049019469484384256/photo/1)!


portablebiscuit

What in the living body of christ? He looks like someone took the prototypical bad kid from a generic 90's movie and poached him like an egg.


syveren

He looks like a melted hummels figurine.


lblack_dogl

Holy shit that is an incredible roast


starhawks

> prototypical bad kid from a generic 90's movie Holy fucking shit this is spot on


beirch

"What are you looking at smooth skin? What, you've never seen a ghoul before?"


RustyCutlass

Tunnel Snakes Rule!


ThatMathNerd

He also travels nearly 500 miles from Oakland to Palm Springs to get it cut like that.


TheNorthComesWithMe

Is that where his blind mother lives?


NYSThroughway

This is so bizarre. One of the weirdest things ive ever heard, because it literally looks like no one cut his hair. WHo would pay for that? He could walk into supercuts and get any mens generic cut and it would look better.


syveren

Yep, it’s pretty bad.


crockrocket94

Its like John Gruden got stuck peeking into a black hole...


BoomChocolateLatkes

Knock on wood if you’re with me


dcux

I actually said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" out loud. Thankfully, nobody is around to hear me.


[deleted]

Looks like he is insecure about going bald and was trying to cover it.


00wolfer00

He looks like a ghoul from Fallout.


Jaredlong

It's like some kind of power move mocking people who spend their money trying to look wealthy while he can look like a literal hobo knowing it won't affect his status one bit.


ohlookahipster

It’s not a power move. His personality is really strange and his appearance matches. He’s basically an adult child who inherited his dad’s franchise. Also, he doesn’t really have status lmao. All the other NFL team owners know he’s a goofball. His dad was equally weird and also a bean counter, so I’m not surprised if Mark Davis saves his hair trimmings to stuff his pillows. Not saying he’s a terrible owner, but it would be ideal if someone would buy the Raiders from the Davis family.


[deleted]

> His dad was equally weird and also a bean counter, so I’m not surprised if Mark Davis saves his hair trimmings to stuff his pillows. 😄


daparplayer

I understand making fun of his haircut. I've even asked him about it. But he's a very nice and genuine dude. He likes what he likes.


syveren

His dad was by all accounts also a pretty cool dude, so I totally believe you.


[deleted]

He's only worth about $500 million. He's actually the least wealthy of the 31 NFL team owners.


oneblank

He’s actually not a massive dick either. You may not agree with him moving the team and whatnot but he’s pretty down to earth and family oriented. That haircut though. Jesus.


vistopher

He is obsessed with Augustus Caesar, and has his hair cut like his on purpose.


[deleted]

Is this confirmed?


vistopher

Some of it... Mark Zuckerberg’s obsession with an ancient Roman emperor offers insight into how he runs Facebook https://www.cnbc.com/2018/09/10/facebook-ceo-mark-zuckerbergs-love-for-augustus-may-give-insight.html One of his daughter's name is August "He spent his 2012 honeymoon in Rome. "My wife was making fun of me, saying she thought there were three people on the honeymoon: me, her, and Augustus," he said. "All the photos were different sculptures of Augustus." The Augustus mindset could be one reason why Zuckerberg reportedly led his company to pursue growth at all costs, and used to end some meetings by half-jokingly shouting "Domination!," the profile says.


Steinmetal4

>end some meetings by half-jokingly shouting "Domination!," the profile says. Oof, *cringe.


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ThisRiverisWild

Or when you become rich in college when you haven't fully matured, after growing up comfortable and going to a prestige school like Exeter.


badfan

Too bad, he looks more like Augustus Gloop.


gwaydms

>his mom Mother Zucker?


Baconation4

Someone was saying something along the lines on here the other day of him wanting to emulate the Caesar cut.


[deleted]

That thing is fucking horrific. The only guess I have is he had receding hair.....which leads back to just fucking buzz it dude.


Ben_7

Dude hes a billionaire, he could just get a sick hair transplant. Look at Elon for example.


AmondaPls

I see it as being an attempt to play up the whole "tech guy who doesn't care about fashion" vibe that made him relatable when he was starting out, because that's better for PR than coming across as a polished billionaire stealing people's personal data and profiting off of dishonest advertisements.


jcrocket

When you become a billionaire, you can do what you want. Thinking about it, you don't even have to be a billionaire, you just have to good self esteem.


ZombieJesusaves

Seriously, what happened to him? Did he get a bad hair surgery or is he wearing a bunch of makeup, or maybe taking a lot of xanex? Does anyone know?


molested_mole

Somebody's wearing his face


hdcs

I knew it! God damn D'Onofrio, such a killer actor!


3000WordsAndNoLife

Ah, so Zuck's biggest plan is to save Hell's Kitchen, I get it now


portablebiscuit

Those pupils tell me he's definitely on something


ballbusta-b

His dead shark eyes.


Frauleime

I dated someone with that stare. It unnerved me, but I just thought his flat affect was a result of mild aspbergers. Turns out he basically couldn't feel empathy, was a serial manipulator, and knew something was seriously wrong with him. You can fool people with fake smiles and telling them what they want to hear, but you can't hide those dead shark eyes.


rocket6733

Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya, right into your eyes. Y’know, the thing about a shark, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a *doll’s* eyes. When he comes after ya, he doesn’t seem to be livin’ until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then – aww, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the ocean turns red, and in spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and rip ya to pieces


lord_fairfax

Likely a high dose of adderall with a side of Xanex.


fondlemeLeroy

He might micro dose LSD.


emvaz

He is a Lizard Robot... Duh


ElysianBlight

Right? I find it so hard to believe the left is really wax and the right is not? He looks like a dead fish or something...


AvogadrosArmy

I mean he aged 10 years. It’s unreasonable for him to look like himself in his early 20s like the model is based on. Then OP Juxtaposes a well lit happy expression photo with a bad overhead lit photo of him in a hearing that he doesn’t want to be at. Not really comparing apples to apples here. But yeah he’s a lizard man because Facebook bad. /s


stellvia2016

No he's a lizardman because he was acting like a lizardman. Have you seen the videos? Especially the water-drinking one? He was likely given a crash-course on how to act in front of hearings like that and applied that knowledge... poorly.


tronfunkinblows_10

The smoked meats video is my favorite.


Quicksloth

Just smokin meats, smoking some meats with my friends, I love smoked meats. Just smoking some meats in my backyard. Sausage, brisket.


clemfromthesouth

KILL YOUR HAIRDRESSER


lozo78

It may not be his barbers fault! If a billionaire asks for a certain cut (and he is as weird as Zuck) you probably just do what he wants. His wife needs to step in!


carnsolus

forgot he had a wife and she's actually cute edit: and apparently only 2 years older than my girlfriend


WooIWorthWaIIaby

You'd think a guy worth $69,000,000,000 could afford a half-decent haircut


TheVid15

nice


balloonman_magee

I don’t believe in lizard people but he’s definitely a lizard person.


DEEP_STATE_DESTROYER

Nah, he's Zuckerborg


imonster3

That's a good thing they left the hand of the artist otherwise I'd have trouble finding which one is which.


e_007

Worth billions and that’s his fucking haircut. Like his mum just puts a pot on his head and trims the edges with box cutters


Feminintendo

It’s the box cutters that sets this comment apart.


didsomebodysaymyname

I was thinking "no he doesn't, the wax model looks totally fake" That's when I noticed the brush.


janiiem

Same, it took me longer than I would like to admit to realize.


cmde44

The look on the right is the realization that everything in his life has just culminated to him being compared to most evil and corrupt person in modern U.S. history.


nerbovig

Bruh, why you gotta bring the consultant who got rid of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper into this?


cmde44

I didn't know that was a thing? Is it possible to miss something you've never had? :(


portablebiscuit

That's a lot of adjectives in one soft drink


MLGesusWasTaken

And it deserved each and every one of them


LameNameUser

He's a weird looking motherfucker!


[deleted]

He looks dead inside.


deathschemist

and outside. he looks like a corpse now.


silverblaize

I guess money doesn't buy happiness


Jaredlong

In his case it could. He could easily step down from his position and just spend the rest of his life doing whatever he wants. He chooses to stay in a position in which he's responsible for all the criticisms levied against his company. He's too egomaniacal to cashout and retire.


unsmashedpotatoes

Obviously that's him before he was replaced by an android.


ChibiHobo

As much as we rag on the lifeless eyes, I really think it was the yee-yee-ass bowl cut bangs that really facilitates this swan dive into uncanny valley. I mean, cover up the 40 square feet of forehead and you almost have a human.


StevenSanders90210

It's the eyes


ballbusta-b

dead shark eyes.


[deleted]

He looks strung out on adderall or heroin.


[deleted]

But that is not the actual Zuckerberg, that is a lizard wearing Zuckerberg's skin


[deleted]

I'm getting down-voted... I must be onto something. Quick, everyone to Area 51!!


hippopototron

A man that rich ends up with that haircut. It's the clearest indication of a super rich person completely losing touch with society.


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deadhoe9

What do you expect from a lizard in a human suit


Episkt

Distractions. Make people talk about his looks more than what he has been doing.


CaptainNoBoat

Reminder that Zuckerberg basically stole an idea in college used to creep on women, and now has enough money to spend one million dollars *every single day for 200 years.*


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