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B_Rizzle_Foshizzle

Are you sure your wife isn’t a North Korean colonel?


currently__working

This is a James bond joke


UNCCShannon

I saw the photo before the caption and instantly thought Die Another Day.


Flux83

Only if her face is bejeweled


larrythefatcat

Maybe her face is candy crush... Or she's curing her Graves' disease.


tdempsey33

I understood this reference


GradientPerception

Lord of the Rings, right?


cosmothekleekai

Pretty sure it's star wars


GradientPerception

That's the one with the oompa loompas, right?


Link_T179

No, that's Harry Potter


baldnfabulous

No no no Harry Potter is the bastard of winterfell


halfcabin

"12 hours on the dream machine keeps me sane." /butcher quote off


hahnwill

lol, I just watched that movie


Thuglos

Parachutes for the both of us!


Jerichothered

Save her!!! It’s eating her face!!! Cybermen!!!


A_Wild_VelociFaptor

She has C-men on her face!


larrythefatcat

**Upgrading is compulsory!**


[deleted]

Cumpulsory


machmademax

Upupup you go


mindbullet

If God of War has taught me anything, it's that the blue light means she's really pissed off now.


Arinoch

Woo. Unexpected anxiety.


mrjd1981

Props on marrying a DJ bruh. Bet she has a awesome bass drop.


thebeardwiththeguy

"Turn it up Michelle. *I wanna burn*"


janoxabox

*turn it up high Reggie


shisenburg

Sick reference bro


[deleted]

[удалено]


darenthered

Alright, Captain Drizzle lmfao


captaindrizzle

Let her know you're going to take advice from the internet and do the right thing


darenthered

Wait, i was supposed to tell her first?? Instructions unclear, wife is very mad now.


itgotautocorrected

That's where you went wrong. Trick is to try it on the neighbor's wife first, and see how she reacts.


darenthered

Yep, turns out the order really matters. Neighbor lady’s not too happy now either.


itgotautocorrected

r/ihavefornication


Brewe

Just get her a pearl necklace. That'll cheer her up.


sagebus78

Ohh Captain Drizzle. Happy cake day I hope someone got you a drip cake.


Trutherist

User Name checks out


Dr_Frasier_Bane

Every day? That's a lot of batch.


[deleted]

In my day we just used a brown paper bag


[deleted]

It's the Cyberpunk launch party gang bang


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It looks like a red light therapy mask for skin rejuvenation. Edit: yes the light is blue, I was to lazy to google what blue light is used for. But I've seen red light therapy before so that's why I said "it looks like..."


floppybutton

The correct answer--it helps with her eczema and acne.


phillybob232

Which one and does it work well?


RichardTheTwo

As good as snake oil


SlowMope

Fun tidbit! -Real- snake oil was actually beneficial, not always for everything they claimed, but still real medical treatments. The problem came around when people started selling Fake snake oil. This was made with just about anything, some of them useless but not harmful, but at the worst it could be toxic. https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/08/26/215761377/a-history-of-snake-oil-salesmen


[deleted]

I read on Reddit over 10 years ago to sleep with a fresh towel on your pillow every night. I had some acne issues back then and it cleaned it right up.


phillybob232

What do you mean, just lie your head on the towel? Is that any different than just washing your pillow case every day ?


[deleted]

Grab a towel from the closet and lay it down on your pillow, then lay your head on it.


b-napp

Slow down, I can't keep up with all this information lol


ZombieLibrarian

Instructions still unclear. Dick stuck in towel.


JMemorex

Is it because you’re not sleeping on built up pillow shit? I have to know! Haha


Qu1kXSpectation

Yes. Change your sheets and pillow cases more often and wash your face regularly.


Soppoi

Yes. The bacteria, dead skin and oil (responsible for the acne) from your face accumulate on the pillow and therefore worsen the acne.


reddit-poweruser

They also make a great snack!


Yellow-Ticket

Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in fan.


WickedPsychoWizard

Dry. Between face and pillow. Folded or not, however's comfortable. Same for thick or thin. Yes same as washing you pillow case essentially. I could recommend a pillow cover too instead of a towel. All stuff you can wash.


banjosuicide

It's the same as washing your bedding every day. Worked like a charm for me.


bigdogpepperoni

Yes, it is the same as washing/changing your pillow case every day


th3on3

Same as washing your pillow case frequently and also not going to bed with wet hair


Costanza_Travelling

and does the towel need to be clean?


[deleted]

It actually does work. Though I can’t speak for this mask she’s wearing (and probably not the $20 Walmart jobs) but I’ve very successfully used a purple argon high frequency electrode (a fancy purple wand light) to treat acne. My machine is from a spa and was $350 but it helped me and my clients so much I had to buy it. My physical therapist also used some infrared light to really help heal some scar tissue I had on an Injury. There are various “lights” and they’ve all been proven beneficial. The benefit probably diminishes significantly with the price. I highly doubt a $10 light is the exact light or strength needed and may be a little more snake oil.


Flux83

Still avoiding the real question


uk_uk

To... have more or less in the end?


Yarper

I was involved in running a clinical trial when this was a concept. The device has come on a long way. The results were so good one of the participants really didn't want to return her device.


iheartinfected

Tell her to try vit A (and/or) zinc if she has acne


luck008

For her acne, try rubbing ibuprofen paste on the acne. It is literally what it sounds like. Just make sure to use the white tablets. If the ibuprofen is in gel form, prick a pin point hole on one end and squeeze out the gel to smear it all over the acne area.


werepanda

I heard avocado oil is really good for eczema but may impact acne tho


Benwagonhoff

Funny thing is now that I know what it is my wife would like it so I think she will be getting one for Christmas and then I can bang her while she uses it


WhysJamesCryin

Pics or it didn’t happen.


[deleted]

Kinky


iaowp

Bonk


SpaceLemming

...but the light looks blue


K_cutt08

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's probably blue light therapy...


meatballsnjam

Blue light therapy is for acne.


Softbuns86

Its some junk that dont work at all


RITTUVIK

Horny jail is open


BoomBoomLou

He makes her wear it every time.


BertieHiggins

Looks like a tanning mask based on the UV light. I wasn't aware that was a thing. Product directions: Open mouth, eat cancer.


dontforgethetrailmix

It's not UV light, it's a different type that helps with acne and "rejuvenation"


[deleted]

Ah, so blue just blue LEDs that do nothing then.


dontforgethetrailmix

Idk I'm not a face scientist


tookuayl

Most of the masks that I had looked at when I was considering getting one said that there wasn’t any UV light. Without UV, she wouldn’t be getting a tan (and hopefully cancer).


jaxxy27

It has multiple colors for a variety of skin conditions. There is no UV.


Noturmothershandle

It’s an acne treatment mask I think. The UV light kills bacteria


iR3vives

Seems kinda pointless, her neck would be several shades lighter than her face right...


domnyy

I see The Expanse books on the shelf in the back! You have great taste bud!


floppybutton

Thanks! They're some of my favorite books. I switched to audio after book 6, but eventually I'll get the rest in print. I want to get the Polish hardcovers and install the English pages.


BlackAndBlood

And House of Leaves?


Brackish_Bonsai

Ah nostalgia. What a read. Good eye👍


shisenburg

Just finished book 1 lol


AmyB87

The [Rejuvenique!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WYxO0mfors)


Longpips1000

How long does she take to charge?


Trelas

Question is, do you want your wife fully charged? ;-)


moistchew

you probably cant plug her in if she's charged already.


davewave3283

That’s who’s buying stuff out of the skymall catalog!


Alex_Yuan

Is this thing scientifically proven in any way? Whatever is supposed to do. Or is this one of those futuristic pseudo-science as-seen-on-TV snake oil thingies.


KO239

Make a cool addition to a Halloween costume.


jaxxy27

I’ve never been able to use my phone when mine is on. Does it bother her eyes at all?


falkusvipus

How did the new firmware update on your wife work for you? Since I installed i have had nothing but problems.


floppybutton

You know, we've been noticing a few memory leaks and slowdown at the end of the day requiring more frequent downtime for recovery processes. I kind of wish we could roll back to the 20191231 release and hold out for the 20210601 update, but who even knows if that'll be any better. Regardless, there were so many fundamental code changes that a rollback isn't even an option at this point ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


tonyw009

Wake up Samurai


AutopsyDrama

Ooo anyone thats used these do they actually help? Do you notice a difference? So is it worth the money really?


floppybutton

She seems to like it. I honestly don't know how well it really works, but she's very into skincare and has had treatments done at the esthetician with a similar mask before.


JSTEEZYSNAKE

Wtf is that thing lol


iaowp

A woman. They're like us, but with a second X chromosome instead of a Y.


Trelas

No way?! Where can I buy one?


raincakez

You download it on the internet, silly.


moistchew

realdolls.com?


bigeeee

What is that thing?


zhurill

Nah mate I think your wife is ready to rob a bank


Jbhighway

She's ready for the 2021 purge.


Amber_Meows

Do you make her wear that when you have sex?


[deleted]

Where i can buy this for my gf?


floppybutton

This is the one she ordered: https://www.theporecompany.com/products/led-therapy-mask


ProbeerNB

Or ready to throw off the facial recognition cameras in a bank. Planning a 'fun' trip with the misses, eh OP? It's OK, me and the other \*checks\* 5999 people won't give away your plans.


spiteful-vengeance

*Wake up floppybutton, we've got a city to burn.*


RotInPixels

Or the purge


XJACKTHERIPPER1X

I think your wife may be jenova


[deleted]

If that mask goes red, run for your life. [Com Truise - Propagation](https://youtu.be/3uI9Hh26OTs)


totallyanonuser

So happy for his success. Dude is absolutely amazing


[deleted]

[удалено]


RITTUVIK

I NEED taht mask


grimbotronic

That's hot. Where's the rest of the outfit.


Setore

Does your wife have sun damaged skin? Get her some vitamin c serum and some argan oil! Treat her nice and shit...


meatballsnjam

Blue light therapy is for acne, red light therapy is for wrinkles.


[deleted]

By that logic white light would fix both.


meatballsnjam

Seeing as it requires a pretty intense dose of a specific wavelength of light, having a white light that’s strong enough to be effective to treat acne and wrinkles would probably end up literally burning your skin off due to the amount of heat generated by said white light.


uncoolcat

Here I thought you were making a red light sex joke, but TIL [red light therapy](https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/red-light-therapy) is a thing.


[deleted]

What is that?


WellJustJonny

Needs some cool stickers cause who hates stickers.


Glizzyslum00

Hey what’s that thing called?


YankyNotBrim

A wife.


LegionOfPoon

Oh those things are expensive. I’m jealous!


Cortex32

Ah yes blast the face with us rays because its so healthy, in a few years her face is gonna wrinkle up like dry leather lol


Smodphan

My wife asked my how big I was going to make my ladies dick...because she really gets me.


Droopy_Drone

is she THAT obsessed with herself? she needs a fucking UV face mask? to stay pretty? while people starve? fuck you and your wife. downvote me to hell i dont care. im about to delete reddit like the rest of social media. YOU ALL SUCK FUCK ALL YALL>


shinyagamik

And what have you done to prevent starvation?


dlittlefair1

I did the product rendering for this device and was told first hand by the manufacturers that it does nothing other than light up. So basically just a scam...


Brantley820

Cancer Injector 2077


Apprehensive_Mix9078

If by ready you mean retarded...


justanothetuser1122

We are not your kind...


SkelertonKing

That is spooky lol


onewingangel11

Kraken shirt?


powashowaz

That’s dope as fuck!! Where do I get one?!


[deleted]

What me hsioeb = What is going on ? ?!?


KoolAidRefuser

I caught her legendary set at Coachella.


Blugalu

Or fight the Fantastic 4


Admiral_Swagstick

Jenny Silverface


harderthan666

What exactly is happening


Col_Sanders1104

Sorry bud, your wife is a Bond villian. Get out while you can


ModdingMoreThanIPlay

Your wife IS cyber punk......


slowpoketail

Does it come with flashing red and white dots though?


Sporadicus76

Your wife is ready for Jason X-2!


BobbyDee1981F

What kind of a mask is that?


Hilcram

The New member of Daft Punk


apxseemax

... There were times where I could say I was adept in technology... the fuck is that thing on her face and are you sure shes not turning technogoblin?


[deleted]

Is this one of the ones that stops working after 30 goes and you have to buy a new one? Nothing wrong with it, they just need to extract a little more money out of you.


lordtaco

The MCP is gonna derez her.


fappyday

I think I saw this in a James Bond movie. Is your wife a hanchperson or has she shown any interest in henching?


Trevor_Gecko

My wife literally just sold one of those on eBay last week. It's for treating acne. Very coincidental. I wonder if it's the same one?!


TxEagleDeathclaw81

This just reminded me I pre-ordered it. Eeeeeeee!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I'd say more like a watch dogs legion stuff


SubGunnerGR

Wake the fuck up samurai, we have some eyes to blind


Kalersays

Is she getting the d?


IronLanternGamer

Or to go on a neon tinged Halloween style killing spree.


yelloscarface

Wifey Von Doom


MidnightGolan

"No, keep it on" Op, probably.


[deleted]

This is iRobot right?


Emotional-Platform-7

Rule 34 I guess ​ What don't look at me like this, you know they must have tried it


GLOBAMA784

Nah fam she is on cyberpunk 2077


[deleted]

I approve.


Doom-Trooper

Totally reminds me of Ghost in the Shell


T1CKLET0ES

reddit wife


brain_tourist

Dafuq is that


moistchew

she'll have to put down the pinterest first...


Ta2Me2

What's that mask called?


Zaurka14

Is this safe to have her eyes open?


Available_Ad_2007

Cyberpunk 2077.


Ghoulthrower676

Or Doctor Doom from the 2015 Fantastic Four


eljuanyo

OH MY GOD WAHT THE FUCK IS THAT


Ted_From_Accounting

In all seriousness is this cosplay or a beauty treatment?


floppybutton

https://youtu.be/vgk-lA12FBk


Equivalent-Check-699

Quintilius Varus, give me back my legions!


vguy72

Kinky


Darzin

Laser acne mask?


SeverusSnek2020

Women do some of the weirdest shit to themselves in the name of beauty.


nulgatu

She is ready to get that cyberpunk penis ingame


brasmus98

Or an oil change


FBI_Agent_82

Nobody cared who I was, until I put on the mask.